Learning lifes lessons...

A significant moment...

When my sister Melissa had her baby she was telling me about her labor and delivery story. She went au natural, which I know is completely amazing and insane at the same time. Anyway she was describing the feeling of transition the moment after dialating to a 10 and before the bearing down feeling. She said her whole body started shaking and she got really excited because she knew she was in transition and she would be pushing soon. During my labor after I dialated to a 10 I started shaking uncontrollably. I hated the feeling. I felt completely out of control of my body to be able to calm it down. I didn't notice of the contractions had stopped or if I just wasn't paying attention, but not too long afterwards did I start the bearing down feeling. A few days later I realized the shaking was transition just as my sister had described it. She liked it, I hated it. Now here's the significant moment. When I was in labor with Evalie I had an epidural that worked like a charm. I didn't feel a thing. It was great. I flew through my last 5 cm and they reduced my epidural so I could feel the need to push. Well I never felt the need to push. It never came. But because my epidural was on low I could feel everything now. After two and half hours of pushing and Evalie not moving at all, I was headed to the operating room for a c-section. In the room, they moved my body to the operating table. On the operating table I started to shake uncontrollably. Everything was shaking, i thought I was going to fall off the table. My eyes were going crazy, I had to close them. I thought it was all the drugs in me, until i went through labor with Charlie and now I know I was in transition on the operating table. I would have started to feel the bearing down feeling shortly had I not had the c-section. I'm not saying I didn't need the c-section, there were many other variables in play during that labor. But I am saying maybe I was to anxious to get it over with. Maybe I could have delivered vaginally. Who knows, I'm not upset or bummed about it, just another lesson learned.

An unexpected gift...

Today was officially my first day alone with two children. It started off great. Charlie slept a long time last night. Evalie woke up as her happy old self. Nursing hurts, but ever so slightly has gotten better. I made a few phone calls I've been needing to make, setting up appointments, and got everyone, including myself, dressed and fed before 11:00 am. While I was in the bathroom getting ready Evalie was out in the living room watching Dinosaur Train and Charlie was in his papasan chair sleeping in the living room. After a minute or two I decided to check on the two, see if there is any interaction and if there is to make sure #2 is not being smothered by #1. I came out and to my surprise and joy, Evalie was sitting in front of Charlie counting her fingers for him and then counting his fingers. Then she takes off his socks and starts counting his toes. She is also turning the chair's vibration and music on/off saying "do you like that?" "no" "okay". I loved it. I knew she wouldn't beat him up, I was hoping she wouldn't just ignore him either, rather she is interacting with him and loving him. It makes me happy, its just another tender mercy.

How it went...

Thursday it felt like time just stopped and then Saturday as we were driving home it felt like it started back up again.
My story: My water broke Thursday morning while making my routine morning bathroom break. I was so excited because I knew at this point there was no return and we would have a baby. We tried to go for a walk to start contractions. Well the feeling of constantly peeing your pants was not comforting to go out walking around. So we went to the doctors office to get checked out. He said I was 5 cm dialated. He gave us permission to get some things done before we headed to the hospital, so we signed papers on our property!! Yes we are property owners now. Things are moving along with that but that is another post for another day. We went to eat at Tomato Street, ps. tomato soup does not feel or taste good coming up later, and then headed to the hospital. Contractions didn't start on their own so at 6:30 pm we started on a very small dosage of Pitocin. This was somewhat nervous to me and my doctor because I was a VBAC. But it started a good rhythm of contractions that got stronger and stronger. My epidural didn't take and I flew through dialating. At 11 pm I started pushing. It was just Jeff, my nurse Beth, whom I love, and me. It was intimate and nice because it felt like no one else in the world knew what was going on that night in that room. The only time I felt that maybe I would be getting another C-section was when it was time to push and he was still very high. Evalie was high and never came down even after 2 hours of pushing. But eventually he came down and I felt the bearing down. It's like even if you wanted to not push you can't stop your body. It wants to push no matter how hard or painful it is. I had him at 12:37 am 4/2- Good Friday. He was a big boy and I will have the scars to prove it! My doctor calls him a trail blazer, he finds his own way out. He needed resuscitation when he was born. He had been in distress for the last little while and the cord was wrapped around his neck. But after about 10-20 seconds he was yelping. They had to bug him for awhile to make sure his oxygen levels were up. Jeff did end up cutting the cord by default. That was funny. He did a great job as my support person. We are a family of four and I pray for my children now and its amazing how love is not finite but an infinite feeling. Not enclosed is a shape of a heart but eternal. To give as much as you choose to give. I love my husband, my daughter, and my son. And I never want to do that again. At least until the next time.

Charlie Noah Rippy

Charlie was born at 12:37 am on 4/2/10. He weighed 8 lbs. 13 oz and was 21 inches long. I am too tired still and sore to sit here and write anything right now, but here are a couple pictures to get your fix.