Happy Family

I went to a divorce class tonight and they talked about how divorce affects the children. It made me sad that this has to be part of my kids lives. I must be doing an ok job at keeping everything realitivly normal for them because right before I left Braxton was looking at Cooper smiling and said "were such a happy family". It makes me smile to think that my kids are happy and laughing, yes, we do have many moments and I have lost control but my kids still know there loved and cared for. We will make it through this and hopefully one day we will all be better people because of it.

Christmas

This Christmas is one that I don't really care to remember, so I really didn't take that many pictures. It started out ok. I had to work Christmas Eve and had a pretty fun day. I was in a good mood. On the way home, I lost it. Life hit me hard, and I started thinking of everything stressing me out and was crying, (whats new). I came home to sick kids. I attempted to go to sleep but everytime I shut my eyes somebody would wake up coughing. I finally got Cooper back to sleep at 4:30 and what do you know. Braxton woke up. We opened presents and I think the boys were all satisfied with what they got. Me and the little ones went back to sleep for an hour or so, then we headed up to my parents. My boys all got some cool stuff. We laid around up there until it was time to go to my grandma's. We had a good dinner, but I was very overwhelmed. We finally came home about 6 o'clock. All the boys were crying and throwing fits. I finally got them to bed. I was exhausted. But, my night continued with Cooper waking up all night long again. Next year will be better.

Sledding

I've been promising my kids for the past week that I would take them sledding. Well, today we finally went. We just went over to my parents hill on the side of there house. When I was young we spent many hours out there. Me and Brax had fun. Logan wasn't to into it. He was having more fun shoveling the driveway.

Me and Brax both tried to snowboard down the hill on the sled. It was fun.

Its Party Time!

We Had are friend party last night at Mindi's. We had a great time mingeling, and the kids all loved playing with each other. Here are a few pictures.

Snow Time

My kids love the snow. First thing when they got home and saw all the snow they quickly got there gear on and headed out to play. After school they were back out there. I on the other hand dont like cold weather at all. But I think this year I'm going to have to suck it up and take them sleding or build snow creatures. I have some really fun memories of winter time when I was young.

Just a quick update on Cooper. He is now sitting up and rolling all over the place. I will lay him on the floor and the next thing I know he is acrossed the room. He is such a happy baby. He is always smiling and I can actually put him down now without him screaming. Logan is finally warming up to him after six monthes. He now plays peek a boo with him and trys to make him laugh. It is so cute.

Oh, how I miss my sleep!

I remember the days before I had kids I would sleep all the time. I would go to bed early and wake up around 10and also take afternoon naps. Those days are now gone. I probably have not slept through an entire night in six years. Even when my kids are away, I can never go to sleep and when I am asleep I am constantly waking up to see where they are. Lately Brax and Logan have decided that my bed is now theres. I wish I could take a picture becuase they are little cuddle bugs. I am practicaly off the edge and both of them are right next to me. I have a king size bed and we maybe take up one third of it. As soon as I have enough energy to be mean thier out of there and back into there room. Maybe in 18 years I'll get a good night sleep but then I'll probably have insomnia.

What a Night!!

Yes, it really is two in the morning but I wanted to hurry and write a little post. I just got home from having the funnest night. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. I went to one of my friends from works bachlerette party, or just a get together. It started out at Daisy's house were everyone got drunk. I was the desinated driver so I just watched and laughed. After everyone was good and ready we headed over to club Habit. Tonight was karioke night. No I did not sing but I did dance. It was so much fun all of us got out on the dance floor and danced and sang and laughed. Part way through the night MY pink song came on "So What". It was so much fun. I havent had this much fun in a long time.

The Forgotten Carols

Last night me and couple of my friends went and saw The Forgotten Carols. It was so good. I went a long time ago but couldn't remember much so it was nice to see it again. I kept tearing up (what a shocker). It has such a good message, and I love the songs. It always seems like when I am going through a rough patch my friends always come together for me. I have the greatest friends. These are my friends from elementary and high school. I thought I would tell you what I like most about each one of them, this is in no paticular order.
Mandy is one of my oldest friends. I have known her since I could remember. Ever since she moved away she has been my therapist. Because she lived so far away I have always felt like I could tell her anything and nobody would ever find out. She knows all my secrets. She always gives me the best advice even when it's not what I want to hear. She is so strong in the church and inspires me to be a better person.
Jamie is one of my friends I met through Lakettes. I've always known her to be a little quiet but she is someone I can always count on. Whenever I have put anything together she is always there, no question. She inspires me to be a better mom. She is always taking her kids places and doing fun things. I don't think I have ever heard a negative thing come out of her mouth.
Sherice was one of my best friends in High School . I have so many fun memories with her. I dont think Sherice has a mean bone in her body. She is always so nice to everybody even when she doesn't know them. She is so loving and caring and would do anything for you.
Brooke I also met because of Lakettes. She was so fun in high school. We would hang out at her house and meet up with the "flow ho's" o my gosh what were we thinking. She was always a little on the wild side but has grown to be a great wife and mom. She is so organized, when we plan things she has to know a month in advance to fit it into her schedule.
Mindi I hung out with in high school to but I feel like our friendship has come so much further now that were older. She is such a great person, I have had many good talks with her. She throws the best parties for her kids and always invites everyone. She helped me run my five miles. YEA.
Heidi, Me and Heidi have been friends since fourth grade, I have a million memories with her. I think the best ones are when her dad would make haunted houses at there house and we would go from room to room and he would scare us. It was great. Heidi is so thoughtful she has never missed sending me a card on my birthday, I always look forward to it.
To all my friends, you guys are the best. I love each of you. You all inspire me in different ways. Thank you for always being there for me for all these years. I hope our friendships continue throughout are lifes.
One of my greatest friends now is my sister, Monica. Ever since we started having kids we have become such good friends. I love her so much. She has helped me so much with my boys. She is always there for me and would do anything to help me out. I alway know I can call her and cry to her, or tell her funny things the boys did. You are such a great person, thank you for being a wonderful sister. I love you.

A Night Out

Tonight me and Braxton had a night out on the town. We met up with grandma and grandpa and Monica and Lexi and went to dinner, Olive Garden, of course. Then we went to the Nutcracker. Braxton said he loved it, he got a little antzy at the end but he was pretty good for the most part. I also enjoyed it. It brought back tons of memories. When I was little I danced with Ballet West. I tried out every year for the Nutcracker and finally my last year I made it. I was in sixth grade. It was such a great experience. I was a Lady and Waiting, we didn't do much just walk around. We had to wear these hiddious green dresses with cone hats, this year they were these beautiful pink dresses with crowns. I think that would have suited me much better. Oh well. Well, it was a great night and I'm glad I get to pass these memories onto my boys.

I DID IT

Yea Me!! On Thanksgiving I ran the turkey race in South Ogden. It was a five mile race. The most I had ever made it was 2 miles, but with good help from my friend Mindi I made it the whole way. We did walk a little but for the most part we ran. I'm so happy. But let me tell you it really didn't motivate me to run a half marathon. I think five miles is good. Tonight I cant even walk down stairs I'm so sore.

Front Tooth

Braxtons front tooth has just been hanging there all week. We worked on it a little every night, but this morning why I was brushing his teeth I hurried and pulled it out. He was so excited, he had to take it to school. He has lost his two bottom teeth, but that was last year. He asked me if I could post it on our blog, so I got a picture. I always think of these years as the ugly years, but he's still pretty cute. My front teeth got knocked out when I was 2 or 3, and didn't grow back in until I was six. It was awful.

The Joys of Motherhood

The cold air is coming and so are the sicknesses. Last year Logan was sick all winter, it was awful. And just to start this winter off right he is sick again. The last two days he's been with grandma's and they've had to deal with it, while I worked (thank you by the way). But last night it hit really bad. On our way home Logan threw up in the car. Braxton was asking me where Logan was going to sleep because he didn't want to sleep with through up boy, ha,ha ha. but as a loving mother I let him sleep all cuddled up with me. In the middle of the night what do you know he throughs up all over. As the night went on Logan continued to through up every few hours and Cooper decided to wake up a few times too. All and all I am exhausted. I am lucky though becausse I have a loving mother who brought me a Mcdonalds coke and Logan some sprite. I was supposed to go to work tonight but I think I will stay home and take care of my own sick child, even though I am already on probation for sick calls. OOOPPPSS. Even though I cant remember what it was like to sleep all through the night, I cant imagin life without them. My love for them is undescribable. They bring so much joy into my life everyday.

PIZZA PARTY

The other night me and my boys were laying in bed watching tv at about 9 o'clock My tummy started to rumble and I said I'm hungry, Braxton was like, me too. I was trying to decide what to have and nothing sounded good. As you all know pizza is my favorite thing to eat. So what the heck, I ordered a pizza. It was almost 10 when it got there so I decided it would be fun to have a pizza party in bed. The boys were having so much fun I had to get a picture.

So BIG

Logan has had a really hard time trying to get off the binky and bottle, so I'm trying to be a tough mom and say no. Well today after Logans nap he was asking for a bottle I told him no and left it at that. I was outside waiting for Braxton to get home from school and I could hear the microwave running. I walked around the corner and Logan had pulled the barstool up to the microwave got himself a bottle and then actually started the microwave. There was no milk in the bottle, he just wanted the bottle. I have no idea how he new how to do this. I guess he watched me one to many times.

The funny thing is, is he doesn't even drink it he just carrys it around the house until it gets cold

and then he's done with it.

Look at those puppy dog eyes. How do you resist that!!

Christmas Lights

My wonderful neighbors Scott and Jen came over yesterday to help me put lights up on my house. I was so excited. When I was a kid I think I only had lights one time. So I really wanted to do this. I was short one strand so before work I ran and found the last box of lights. When I woke up this afternoon I went out to finish. I was doing ok until I had to get up on the roof. Jen made it look so easy yesterday, but I have this little fear of hieghts and when theres nothing to hold onto its a little scary. My heart was pounding the whole time. But I did make it through and my house looks so cute. I LOVE IT!!!! I had to add a couple other pictures because we were having so much fun going through the Christmas decorations.

New Pictures

OK, so I'm back to my normal happy self. I love Christmas so I usually start a little early. Today me and Braxton set up the Christmas tree. I decided it was time to go get our yearly family pictures done for our Christmas cards and also the boys all needed there birthday pictures done. This is something I love to do but also dread. But, the boys all did very well, and I think they turned out ok.

I hate Him

So I've been trying to hold it all together but this morning I finally lost it. I found myself awake in my bed alone and just started crying. I said a little prayer but didn't know what to ask for. I am so mad right now, and I think I deserve to be. I have so many feeling all bottled up and I just want to scream. So what better way then to tell the world.

I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM, I HATE HIM

I hate him for tearing my heart out and smashing it on the ground, not only once but twice. I hate him for every lie he's ever told. I hate him for making me feel like this is my fault when I have done nothing wrong. I hate how he makes me feel when I look at him. I hate him for all my tears I have shed over him. I hate him for making me think he was a good guy. I hate the way he has made me insecure, and no longer trust anyone. I hate him for leaving me with three of the most beautiful boys in the world. I hate him for making my life so complicated. I hate that I hate him. Maybe one day I'll forgive, but not right now.

Halloween

So Our Halloween day was spent visiting grandparents, going out to eat with Monica and Lexi. We went around our nieghborhood to trick or treat. We had so much fun and got lots of candy.

Happy Halloween!!!

Glitter Graphics

I got Tagged

I was excited to post our Halloween pictures but I'm at work today so maybe I'll get to it tonight. But I was tagged so here it goes.

7 things I can do....
1. Raise three boys by myself, keep my house cleaned most of the time (to my standard) and work.
2. Make a really good Lasagna, I always split it in two pans and give one away to one of my lucky nieghbors.
3. Blog!!
4. I can take care of very sick babies at work.
5. I can run a mile (ya-hoo) I'm working on getting further.
6. I can cry on a whim.
7. I can somehow keep laughing about all my problems even though life sucks.

7 Things I cant do...
1. I know this is really bad and I am working on it, but I seem to never remember or want to read to my kids.
2. Keep a husband. (well I guess really pick a good one) Ha Ha Ha.
3. Stay away from fast food.
4. I have the biggest fear for speaking in public.
5. Make a joke, somehow I always forget it half way and ruin the whole thing.
6. I can not lie, but I actually think this is the best quality you could have.
7. I am very bad at keeping secrets, I cannot keep my mouth shut, my life is an open book.

7 things that attracted me to my hubby...
Ok so we will skip this one, and make up a new one.

7 Things I want in a Husband...
1. I want a husband that is very trustworthy, and willing/wanting to share every secret with me.
2. I want a husband that will love me and want to be my best friend forever and always.
3. I want a husband that loves the church and wants an eternal family.
4. I want a husband that wants to be good husband and father as much as I want to be a good wife and mother.
5. I want a husband that I can laugh with.
6. I want a husband that will take care of me and my boys.
7. I want a husband thats good looking, makes lots of money, has a six pack, drives a sweet car, and will take me all over the world. Ha Ha Ha.

7 Things I always say...
1. Are you kidding me.
2. Can everyone just be quiet for a minute.
3. Where do you want to go for lunch.
4. I love you too. Braxton tells me at least 10 times a day that he loves me, And he'll tell his brothers too, he's so cute.
5. I'm so tired.
6. Aaagggghhhh!!
7. Can you watch my kids.

7 Things I Love to Eat...
1. Pizza
2. Lasagna
3. Pizza
4. Turkey sandwiches from Training Table.
5. Pizza
6. Alice Springs Chicken from Outback. Yum
7. Olive Garden. (Tour of Italy)

7 People I'm tagging
1. Angie
2. Mindi
3. Mandi
4. Brooke
5. Jamie
6. Alecia
7. Mandy R.

What a week!

This has been such a hard week for me. First of all going through a divorce is such a roller coaster. Right now we are going down a really big hill and I feel like I cant stop falling. You would think I would be a pro at this but emotionally this one has been the hardest. I know I am doing whats right. I just feel so bad for my boys. I am trying my hardest to make them have a great life. I think everything is catching up to them though, because I feel like I have totally lost control. Braxton is not listening to me at all, and I just dont have it in me to fight with him right now. I let him get away with everything and I know thats the worst thing I can do. I just know he's going through a hard time too. Logan is just two. lets just leave it at that. I am totally mentally and physically exhausted. The boys seem to be scared of everything so there attached to my hip at night (maybe because we've been watching halloween shows). There always seems to be somebody waking me up at night. One good thing is I have gotten the little ones on the same napping schedule while Braxtons at school but I never get anything done because I'm usually asleep too.
At work one of my cute little primarys passed away. Its really hard not to get attached to the cute little babies I take care of and their families. I am so thankful I have my religious background to help me get through moments like this. I know they will be with there family again. I know this may sound weird but I really like helping family's go through this. It is so sad but yet so peaceful. I know that no parent ever wants to loose a child but I think these children are very special and for some reason they need to return to our heavenly father, and I am thankful for the little time I get to spend with them and take care of them.

For family home evening on Monday night I decided to take the kids to go get our pumpkins. We have a really cute pumpkin patch right down to block. Braxton and Logan loved the maze, they went through it twice. We walked through the pumpkins trying to find the best ones. Of course I wanted the most perfectly round one, with no dirt on it. Braxton wanted to find a square one and Logan just wanted to find one he could lift. We came home with six big pumpkins and lots of little ones. We put them out in our flowers. Everytime I go outside they have been rearranged. We had a really good day!!!

Learn from my mistake!

So we were having a pretty good day Braxton was off at school. We had just gotten home from a run, and it was time for naps. But, Logan didn't seem very tired I decided it would be fun to do a little cooking. Brownies, Ummm my favorite. Logan helped make them and then also licked the bowl. Since we were cooking I decided to go ahead and make some meatballs for dinner. Cooper was cooperating by sitting playing in his highchair. Around dinner time I put a pot of spagetti noodles on. Logan was upstairs sleeping and me and Cooper were playing on the floor in the front room. I thought I better check and make sure the water wasn't boiling over. As I walked around the corner, the pan of brownies I left on the stove to cool, BLEW UP. Glass was everywhere and then they started on fire. I put Cooper down and ran over to the stove trying not to step on any glass which I did and now I have a huge blister from being burned. I couldn't get to the flour so I threw a glass of water on the flames. The fire alarm was going off. Cooper was screaming. I was paniking. All and all everything ended up ok. It took me about an hour to clean it all up and now I have a really clean kitchen. What I did was turned on the wrong burner so it was cooking my glass pan of brownies instead of my noodles. I am so thankful I was not standing next to the stove with cooper who knows what would have happened. The glass was so hot it burned my floors and burned into my kitchen rugs.

Moral of the story is, don't leave glass pans on the stove to cool while your cooking on it.

Back to St. George

This weekend we headed back down to St. George for one last boating adventure. I was not the greatest at taking pictures, I only came home with five. Everytime I was on the boat I forgot to grab my camera. On Friday we went to the lake by St. George. Craig brought his boat and we went on the big water tube. My little Braxton is a dare devil. He loves to go fast and catch waves. It scares me to death because Im afraid he'll fall off. Braxton and Lexi were having a great time finding seashells. On Saturday we left the little ones home with grandma and grandpa and headed up to Lake Mead. The wind was blowing really hard, so the waves were huge. We attempted to go on the tube but it didn't last long.
We only spent two hours there and then made
are way back to St. George. Although we didn't get much boating in, it was nice to just get away for a few days.

Uncle Nick hang'n with Cooper







Tyler loved playing in the sand!!!