a fond farewell to kindergarten

(Grace and some of her friends building blocks on their school fieldtrip.)

Poor Grace. School is over for the year. She LOVES school. She thrives at school. She wants to go, every day. She cries real tears when there is a snow day. She is bummed that the weekend is coming. She says "thank you for going to school today" every night in her prayers. She also HATES change.

Now, truthfully, she did have a bit of anxiety at first this year. She was scared to ride the bus, and I think she worried about school too. She was diagnosed with some speech problems and had to go get extra help. There was something strange going on at the playground that she never would really tell me about. She developed a nail biting habit that was pretty bad. But, sometime around Christmas, she suddenly quit doing it one day and school has been a haven for her ever since.

This year, she made her first real friends. She has a few friends at church and a few at the barn, and she had a few little friends in pre-school, but she's never had true friends to play with on a regular basis. She's never had friends that she thinks about every day and who think about her. She's never done many playdates (partly due to her mother.) But, this year, she finally made some good friends, especially her friend Eamon. She and Eamon started the year making pictures for each other at school. Then they started playing at each other's houses. When Grace's dance teacher suddenly disappeared, she asked to go to karate with Eamon and they have been fast friends (and fellow warriors) ever since! I have to admit I also got a friend out of it. Eamon's mom, Annelie, is so cool and so nice. We've gotten along famously too.

(Grace and Eamon painting their own faces on the kindergarten field trip.)

Grace has also loved her kindergarten teacher. As a former teacher myself, I had to learn quickly to stand back and not judge my own child's teacher against my own teaching standards. At first, I had such an impulse to question so many things, especially after my first time volunteering in the class, but I really did swallow down the urge and stay away from it. (what do I know about teaching kindergarten anyway? I taught chemistry in a high school!) I remembered how much I valued parent trust in my own classroom and decided unless I had a glaring reason to interfere that I should just stay out of the way and support her in any way that I could. I'm so glad I did too. Even though I still might not agree with some of the classroom philosophy, (which might have more to do with the school and the town we live in than the teacher anyway), Grace's teacher turned out to be a really super fantastic kindergarten teacher. She was funny and serious and strict and easy-going at all the right places. She watched out for Grace and helped her through all the rough patches, and she advocated for her speech therapy and did everything she could to help Grace feel comfortable reading outloud (a real struggle for us.)

So, the last day of kindergarten was not bitter sweet. It was just plain bitter for her. She was the only one NOT celebrating the last day of school. All her other friends were totally happy. She doesn't want to change into a first grader. (although, she wants to keep going to school AND she wants to go ALL DAY.) She wants to be in kindergarten forever. She got off the bus on the last day and burst into tears. She sobbed for 45 minutes and then cried herself to sleep that night too.

(getting ready for the kindergarten song day celebration, 2 songs, 30 minutes!)

Well, like it or not, kindergarten IS over. I actually can't believe that summer has begun, finally, on JUNE 24th?! We don't have much of summer left and we would really like the sun to come out now, please?.

Daddy Rocks

We love you Daddy!

Keeping up...

It's already started and Grace is only in kindergarten - the keeping up with friends. I don't know why I didn't expect it yet, but I've been so surprised at how much Grace wants to be like her friends and do what they do and how much they compare with each other. I'm really thankful that Grace is friends with super nice kids who have great parents. I don't think anyone in her class is over-indulged (what do I know) but I know most of the parents from her class and they all seem pretty down to Earth, none show off at all, and none of them seem to care what others think too much.

Still, the kids get to school and they want to be like everyone else. I shouldn't be so surprised, who didn't want to be like everyone else at school when we were little? It started with simple things, like snacks. (reminds me of the scene in My Big Fat Greek Wedding when she wants to have the same kind of lunch as the cool girls.) Grace all of a sudden asked to take snack-pack puddings to class. She wanted to take a spork to eat them with too. Come to find out, this is what her friend Eamon brings for his snack. Fine with me. Eat all the pudding you want.

Then, it moved onto little toys and things. All the boys she plays with like Star Wars and legos and pokemon. Guess what Grace likes? Star Wars and legos and pokemon. She has been a trend-setter herself though. I don't know it from her end, but I always have parents telling me how much their kids like Grace and that they wish they could "be like Grace Chapman" or do something because "Grace does it." There are definitely things about Grace that she comes up with first, so I'm not worried that she's a total follower either.

So, that brings us to our big day yesterday. After much waiting and saving and earning, Grace bought herself a Nintendo DSi. Because "everyone else has one." It's kind of true. The list of kids who have one pretty much covers the whole class - girls and boys. I guess Santa should have brought one of those instead of the ipod (which she does love too.) But, we didn't realize until the end of the school year that this was the "must-have toy for kindergarten and beyond. "

The DSi is not your dad's game boy folks. The gaming systems these days blow me away. It's basically an entire computer complete with wi fi connection, camera, and tons of other stuff (I thought you just put in a game cartridge and played Mario on Nintendo... shows you what I know!) These little things are also pretty spendy. There was no way I was going to go out and blow nearly $200 on a toy just because everyone else has one and she wants one.

So, David and I saw a golden opportunity to have Grace really work towards and earn something big for herself. She's been getting allowance since school started. She is actually pretty good at saving her money for stuff she wants. She saved for 4 months for a wii game she desperately wanted last year. However, how long are you supposed to make a 6 year old girl wait to earn something like this? At her allowance rate, it would take her about a year and a half to earn it. That's 1/4 of her life so far. Seems like too long to wait for a toy that she's excited to play with current friends. David didn't have to wait 1/4 of his life to buy the iphone he's getting tomorrow!

So, I told her I'd help her. I would donate a big chunk (still less than half the money) if she'd pay the rest. She already had about 1/4 of the cost saved, so the earning actually wouldn't take too long if she'd just be patient, collect a few months worth of allowance, and do a few things that I've been desperately wanting her to do, but she refuses to do (buckle herself in the car to name one.)

She started her saving and earning. She got a bonus for trying hard and learning to ride her bike on 2 wheels, she got little check marks for buckling herself in the car which added up to a few bucks in the end after months of doing it. She was about 4 bucks short yesterday when we started shopping online to see how much the system was really going to cost. So, for her last effort to earn her last few dollars, she cleaned up a TERRBILY messy playroom that was entirely made by her sister. I figured if she could clean up the mess that Hattie and friend made, we'd spot her the rest and let her get the system before school ended. (Yes folks, it's June 17th and she's still in SCHOOL! Last day next week!)

I have to admit. I am pretty impressed with how patient Grace has been to get this toy and how willing she was to pay for it herself as much as possible and basically do anything I asked if it meant another notch on her earning chart. There were many times in past weeks when she wanted to buy this or that and I reminded her that she'd have to hand over some DS savings for it and she instantly changed her mind.

She handed over all her dough last night, shook the last coins out of her piggy bank, and went to the store with her dad. She came home with a slick, blue, game thingy and is pretty darn happy about it. (too bad Hattie can't have one - she's pretty GREEN with envy.) David is worried that Grace will just turn around and want another expensive thing and I won't be able to help her like I did with this one. But, I think she's pretty content for now and I also think she realizes how much money it really did cost. Hopefully that will help her realize that not everything wanted can be bought, especially, not right away. Now, she's saving her money anyway for games! This could occupy her for quite a while. now...how do you tell her she's been playing it too long and needs to put it away! (actually, she's been good about that so far too.)

Good job Grace! I am so excited that you did such a good job saving your money and bought something you REALLY wanted with it.

Potty Party!

We had a huge celebration yesterday. Hattie is nearly, almost, just so close, to being completely potty trained. I don't know why my kids have been so tough to convince to use the potty, but Hattie took quite a long time too.

Much in the same way we tried to bribe Grace with a coveted toy, I took Harriet to the Paper Store about 2 months ago, maybe 3, to pick out something she really wanted as a bribe for the potty. She chose a baby doll, of course. We brought it home and put it on top of the fridge as the grand prize when she finally mastered the subject.

Our other bribe has been boxes of chocolate balls from Idylwilde. They sell these really yummy chocolates wrapped up like all kinds of things. I bought a box thinking that I would give Hattie one chocolate ball each time she thought about, sat on, tried to go, or actually went, pee pee in the potty. Unfortunately, Hattie won't stand for just one chocolate, so she goes through 2 every time and then of course we have to give one to Grace too. We've been through more boxes than I can count. These little things are pretty expensive! Still, when you're trying for THIS goal, you're willing to write a blank check if they'll just do it!

The baby sat on top of the fridge the whole time. Hattie wanted it so bad, but she was totally set against any discussion of going poop on the potty. I decided after so many months that if she would just do it once, I'd give her the baby.

We've strangely had 3 days at home with virtually no where to go this week, so I took the opportunity to really practice this potty stuff. Yesterday it paid off big time. Harriet, completely on her own, decided to tell me that she needed to poop in the potty and totally did it! HOORAY!!!

Now, we're going to be gone to a million places today...we'll see how this big girl Hattie does...

Reading Atlas

I'm not sure why I force myself to squeeze in time for reading these days. It's definitely a struggle, and I'm always feeling guilty that I read my book assignments for book group, but I still struggle to open the scriptures. I guess it's because my book club reading provides 2 escapes - the escape to another world while you read, and the escape to book club every month to see my friends and eat great food! But, then, at least I'm reading something and I really spend very little time watching TV, so at least that seems worthwhile.

I try to keep my reading projects updated on the side of our blog. I belong to Good Reads because of a friend who signed me up, but I have yet to post anything on it. I rarely talk about things I've read on the internet, but I have to say something about the book I finished last night.

First of all, I feel that it was a monumental accomplishment for me to finish this book. Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand, is 1069 pages long. And we're talking 1069 pages of teeny, tiny, dense font, with NO white space, chapter separators, or anything. One chapter ends in the middle of the page, and the next one begins on the very next line. If it was printed the way most novels are printed, it would easily be a 2000 page book. I know you can cruise through 600 pages of a Harry Potter or a Twilight in a day, but this book is not that way. Ayn Rand does not waste ONE word. You cannot skip a word, a sentence, a paragraph, or a page. Every single thing is important. Her writing is immaculate. She is truly a master.

We started reading it a year ago as a book group project in an effort to read "a major classic." We intended to read it "on the side" for a year while continuing to do another, easier read, each month for our monthly meeting. I did start out reading it "on the side", but this thing is so massive and requires so much attention that you can't really read it on the side. I got through a couple hundred pages and didn't get back to it for several months. Then, when we decided on a date to discuss it, I did start reading it more and more. It seemed like I was "half way done" for absolutely weeks. It wasn't until we devoted this last month, to ONLY this book, that I was able to finish it. And, let me just say, that many other areas of life have been put on hold so that I could finish it. It feels like I have had this book in my hand for the whole month. I take it everywhere I go trying to get one more page read wherever I am.

Well, I did it. I finished last night! I have never read anything like this before. I feel like I did when I finished Harriet's Christmas stocking. I really thought it might not happen, but I did it! (book group is tonight!)

If you have never read it or have never heard of Ayn Rand, she was a Russian-born woman who immigrated to the US in the 1920's seeking a better life. She was a student of philosophy and has developed her own brand of philosophy - "objectivism." Her views are pretty controversial and as I started to read, I wasn't sure if I could really buy into them, but in the end, her entire message is to live by truth and virtue, use your brain, seek for real happiness, stick to your values at all cost, and accept nothing else. How can you argue with that, really? Her opinions are extremely complex and so interesting and thought provoking. It is going to provide for a super cool discussion at book group tonight.

I have loved reading this book. It is a story about a woman who runs a transcontinental railroad in an era of giant industrial successes dominated by men. As I started reading the book, I thought of my daughter, Grace (who used to tell us she wanted to be a choo choo train driver and has the largest train collection of any girl I know.) Dagny Taggart and Grace have so many of the same characteristics. I could totally see Grace in as an adult in the descriptions of Dagny with her long skinny body, blonde hair, love of railroads, fierce personality, and black and white value system. Not that I wish for Grace to do EVERYTHING Dagny does, but if Grace turns out to be that kind of person, there wouldn't be a prouder mother than me.

The book goes through the struggle of Dagny and her industrial friends, as the entire country is brought to complete ruin by the corruption and shady values of the national leadership, and describes how they rise above it. Even though the book was published in 1957, it eerily mirrors things that are currently happening in the United States with all the government bailouts, sinking economy, and standards that seem good one day but are so bad the next. It feels like it should be required reading for every citizen of our nation right now. People are starting to realize it, I think. Sales of Atlas Shrugged have tripled in sales this year.

The woman who suggested it for our book group has read it 3 times. I couldn't believe that when I heard it. I couldn't imagine devoting that much time to one book. It took so long just to do it once. But, then, on Sunday, I heard that her husband, our stake president, has read it 10 times! He used to have the goal to read it once every single year, it was that important to him. Now I see why.

I'm really glad I did get through it. I highly recommend it. It makes me want to read more of Ayn Rand's stuff, although, I think I need to let my brain rest for a while. I need a good fluffy, summer, sit on the beach, and veg out book!