When His 'No' to Pain is a 'Yes' to You.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/118999753894/fumblingtowardecstasy-thefemdomdiary-a-happy

Most of the subs I've played with have been pain sluts of one degree or another. Dreaming of the lash of the flogger or the sting of the cane they wiggle, squirm even yelp at the strike. But still their asses reach out for more and they take pride in the remaining welts, bruises and marks.

But what of the sub that wants no part of pain? No part of Impact play. And yet there is a stirring deep inside his soul to say 'Yes' to you. He winces when he thinks of your cane. Slightly trembles when you talk of the swing of the flogger and the rhythm you feel as it slides across his skin. Yet at closer examination his cock is hard and dripping; his stomach, full of anticipation.

His desire to please you.....to see the pleasure spread across your face, the delight in your eyes when his surrender is complete is far greater than any pain inflicted on his flesh. Each sting of the hand, bite of the tail and burn of the cane reaches beyond his skin and penetrates his soul.

His desire to be owned by you, trained by you, intimately known by you is his quest.

This man...... reaches into my own soul. His hunger feeds me.

Pussy Whispering

~Vista~

Pussies come in many shapes and sizes and are intricately woven through the equally complicated body of a woman. The nerve endings that lie within her extend farther than between our legs. That fact is well worth noting! Depending on the wiring, likes and dislikes of a woman the things that will grab her pussy's attention and welcome you into her warm world can vary. I can only speak to the particular appetite and insatiable needs of mine and how to engage her in such a way that greed and lust pull you happily into her lair.

Here is a basic seductive list of 5 'Pussy Whisperings' that are sure to pave the way into my world:

1. Words.
Yes...your words. Words are an aphrodisiac to my mind. You may have an amazing cock that I've drooled over countless times online and a body that makes my pussy shake with desire, but if you are unable to engage my mind, seduce those pesky neurotransmitters to spark with lust you have already lost your pass to heaven. My pussy may argue but believe me, my mind is more powerful and I've walked away many times because I knew in the long run even that hungry girl would eventually lose her appetite.

Intelligence, wisdom that comes with taking risks and living life, sharing your failures along with your successes will pull me into your soul. I want to touch your soul first. To have you be able to articulate your feelings, honestly without shame. To have the ability to look at me and suddenly see something you never saw before as I listen to you. To have you stare at me in wonder then tell me in your beautiful words what desires are filling your head. That even naughty, filthy, dirty words coming out of your mouth are wrapped in velvet. Each sentence touching every part of my body with passion. That you understand your words are more powerful and penetrating than the cock that hangs between your legs. Yes, I'm a dominant woman, but seduce me damn it!

2. Eyes.
Look at me when you talk with me. In a D/s dynamic this would be outside of any play. I'm not about 24/7. The dynamic between us will always lie underneath all we do ready to emerge when called upon.  But know what I look like. Tell me about the very small heart shaped mole on my left upper eye lid that you've studied while I slept. The scar on my right shin from climbing rocks as a little girl. The mole on the side of my right breast that you've traced countless times with your tongue. Know me because you've studied me with your eyes.

3. Mouth.
A good kiss can awaken any sleeping pussy from slumber! You must love to kiss, nibble, softly at first then increasing your passion as you sense the hunger building. Kiss my lips! Keep your tongue to yourself until that passion builds. My lips need to feel the moist, softness of yours. Love them. Explore their texture. Know that their sensitivity is communicating with my pussy's lips. Making her hunger grow and creating a jealousy and need to have you.

4. Touch.
Touch me...everywhere! Not just my breasts, (although for me my nipples are directly connected to my clit!) but running your hands down the strength of my arms, down my sides, up the inside of my thighs....explore me, touch me until I'm grabbing your hand and shoving your fingers inside her! Touch the length and breath of her. Not just her slit but all around. Over her mound, along the crease of the inner thighs. Talk to her. Let her feel the vibrations of your words and breathing upon her. She loves to be wet with her desire and yours. Learn that her nerve endings run deep and throughout that whole region. Feel her response to your touch.

5. Her memory.
Yes! Pussies have a memory. She remembers how you touch her and pay attention to her responses. How you kiss her. How you play with her and tease her with the tip of your cock. She also remembers when and if she's been violated or treated roughly without consent. She remembers the good and the bad. And if the bad emotions have not been healed she may tighten and not let you in. She remembers every sweet and harsh word. Many emotions are hidden away in her velvet walls. My mind may push things aside but she'll stand her ground. She is the gatekeeper to my soul. Make her believe your desire for her.

There you have it. My Five basics of Pussy Whispering. The list will vary according to the woman. Keep in mind we are all unique. And each woman's list is valid for her!

Pussy Whispering is about listening, being present, paying attention and watching. She's paying attention to you. Even to how you pay attention to others.  ;)

The Surrender of your Strength

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/99237645704/m-schiavo-di-medusa-voglio-dirti-che-sono-che

The surrender of your strength to me does not mean you are stripped bare of it. It always thrives within you!

Just as you look into my eyes and your soul mixes with mine; your soul has not left you, but has mingled and touched my own. So is it with the strength that is woven throughout your being. As you look at me I see that strength start to rise to the surface. I see it in your eyes, in the way your body starts to move. Even in the way you stand before me. And instead of your strength overpowering me, you stoop down and pour it out as an offering. That gesture feeds me and I can feel the power of your surrender ignite my desire for you even more than it was the moment before. 

I am your resting place. Your mirror. And your perfect storm. You are anchored in my soul. Your surrender keeps me warm. 

Your Tears Make Me Wet.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/94298206324/i-said-look-at-me

I hear it.  That crackling sound mixed in with your staggered breathing. It's the sound of the porcelain around your heart weakening ... hairline cracks growing, then giving way to the pressure building inside your emotions. In the depth of your soul pain starts to pierce through the tenderness of your heart; the heart you've protected behind that adorned casing. Fear of what is coming to the surface makes your temperature rise, heat starts flooding over your skin. Sweat now beading down the crevice of your chest, around the back of your neck, along your hairline; your tongue feeling thick, mouth dry. Your nipples tender from the pulling of the clamps. Your ass red with small welts rising from the dance of my switch upon it. Nerve endings heighten, your mind waiting, lost, surroundings faded... your ears straining to hear my breathing.

How beautiful you look to me at this moment. Undone, poured out, unraveled. I move in front of you. Your head hanging down.  I undo the blindfold and find it wet with sweat and your tears. I bend down to you and whisper in your ear, "You wanted this. You begged me for this. Don't waste it. Let go and give me everything."

The porcelain gives way and hidden, unexplained pain breaks free and rides waves of tears and broken breaths. I pull you close; your head pressed against my breasts and keep whispering in your ear, "You wanted this...."

You nod your head in agreement and the tears continue to flow. You feel my touch and hear my voice...it slowly centers you once again.

Through your pain and full surrender my desire has grown. The rawness of your soul heats my own flesh. Your tears make me wet.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/95003607754/nestled-where-he-belongs

Saturday Eye Candy!

To celebrate Saturdays and that we all need a diversion or two, here are a few of my a favorite Eye Candy today from my tumblr site! http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/94911116909/desperate-hunger-and-need-makes-me-sooo-very

Today's choices are all about submission, hunger and desperate, raw need! Some say that dominance is about control. I say it's about the ability to recognize a need in the other and breaking that open so they can experience the depth of who they are.  There must first be a surrender of trust and then a release of their own control over managing the fear of what lies beneath them. Can they trust you with the revelation of something they may not even understand themselves?  Something they have not had the courage to look in the eye and confront. With your strength and guidance they walk into that darkness holding on to your voice every step of the way.

This is the craving that drives me into his space. His hunger, need and rawness of surrender poured out into my arms.  It's a journey.  There's a purpose and the desperate look in his eyes tell me to keep going. That look says, "Lead me, guide me...here I am ... yours".

You will do as I say.....

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/94218272704

Let's go over things one more time.....

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/86430436849

Yes, that's it. Lean into me and breathe.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/94909015329/the-iconic-image-of-brando-as-stanley-in-a

Thoughts of a Submissive Man

 KP

KP sent this to me earlier this week. I love the insight into his thoughts. This is a good follow up to my 'Submissive Men 101' post.  Thank you lovely KP for giving me your permission to share.  xxoo  

~ Vista

Drop your clothes on the floor. Or fold them and place them on the chair. What did she say? Do that. She wants to see you naked. Does she want to see your body? It's not important. It is a power thing. Follow orders. Take off your clothes and stand before her because that is what she told you to do. Do it because she said so. 

Your cock isn't hard. Should it be? Does she know that you feel more naked, more vulnerable this way? Yes, she knows that. She knows everything. She knows that you will be hard when she wants you to be. Is your cock big enough? No, it's not. You, and your physical body, will never be enough. Better be good with your tongue. Better try harder, longer, faster, and slower. She will watch you fail, and she will be satisfied if she sees you try. So try harder.

She wants you on your knees. So kneel. But first, be present. Think about what she wants. She wants to see you acknowledge her, show respect, and submit. Kneel in submission, and realize that you are offering yourself to her. Understand that this is a privilege afforded to the few men she chooses to serve her. Don't be jealous. Of course she has other men satisfy her, you should hope that they do. Show gratitude that she allows you to do the same. Know your place. Which is on your knees.

Show her. She wants to see the expression on your face. She wants to see the pleasure, and the pain. Everything that she does to you is an attempt to take you to a place where you are unguarded, and she wants to see what you do there. Nothing will feel as good as the stroke of the whip that you didn't expect, or the stroke of her hand that you couldn't have anticipated. The point where she pushes you to a new understanding of what she can and will do to you. Show her that you are grateful for it.

She is not your fantasy, she is real. Your fantasies always fail to surprise you, whereas she never will. 

KP

Submissive Men 101 Facts

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/93635195454/prurire-hello-you-having-his-full

The following is only according to this dominant. What I seek, desire, find attractive and keeps my interest. Above all...Keeps my interest.  I do tend to get bored easily. As dominants we come in different genders, personalities and opinions.  It's a question of finding what mixes well with you. As I've mentioned before, will your demons play well with mine?  Or will I find you irritating?

I'm not that complicated.  At least I don't think so, but others have said I am.  What draws me first to a submissive man is the spirit within him. Am I familiar with it? Do we speak the same language as far as expression and what triggers our deepest needs?  Do we have a path between us that we either find fascinating to journey along and/or is it comfortable and one we would enjoy traveling on to our next destination? Does he inspire a need for me to communicate with him?  To share secrets and hear his own? If not, my own communication will grow cold and my spirit will already be turning away from him.  My interest in him gone...rarely to ever return.

So here is a list that will open your eyes to this dominant and may help you with others if they share the same opinions:

1.  Know your yourself.  You know what lies beneath your skin and desire to find someone compatible to explore those desires with. You have pushed paralyzing fear aside and have come to terms that life is to be lived fully.

2.  Newbies.  Personally I don't have a lot of patience for newbies. I realize they have to start somewhere. And there are exceptions. But overall I have found newbies filled with fantasies and, depending on the porn they have watched, bad ideas on what a female dom is and what to expect. There is a lot of time invested in tearing down old ideas mixed with their old vanilla nature and I don't enjoy the process.  So mostly, no to newbies.

3.  Men/little boys.  This has some fine lines involved.  Yes, this one can be complicated.  For the right submissive it has to come naturally and he must possess that magical mixture of testosterone laced masculinity, and when alone with me display a vulnerability and surrender that radiates an acknowledgement that in my presence he forgets all that makes him man.  He forgets his name, his age, his profession and becomes again a deviant little boy longing to please the woman who holds the key to his desires.

4. Begging vs Whining. To me there is a difference!  To beg is to know your need is vital and it comes from a deep place within your soul.  It's part of your makeup and something that has become a part of our lives together.  It can be playful when we are reading each other's mood correctly.  Most importantly an unselfish submissive will know when 'no' is 'no' and stop his request immediately.  Whereas whining is seen by me as a feeble attempt to push ones own selfish agenda.  When this submissive receives a 'no', he proceeds to ask again as if an answer has not been given or chooses to murmur and complain.  If I see even a sliver of this behavior, the submissive will be ejected immediately from my life. It's a red flag. And my interest has already died.

5. Greedy vs Bratty.  NB was and still is a very greedy sub. But his greed comes from a deep hunger that tends to get deeper with each morsel of deviant behavior thrown his way. It's a 'wide eyed' wonder of discovery and creates a desire to go even further. I love seeing that hunger rise in a sub. It's filled with appreciation and expectation. Bratty behavior exposes a sub's own agenda and wanting his own way without any thought or appreciation of others. It's not about the person bringing forth the desire, but the action and thrill he is seeking no matter what vessel it flows from. It's self gratification.  This is easy to spot.

6. Listen. This is the most important fact that will help no matter who you are as a sub or what dominant you are seeking.  Listen. Pay attention to what is being said and follow accordingly. Don't pretend to listen, when really all you're doing is preparing your own answer and/or reason for your request. Your words will betray you.  I do listen to what you say and how you respond. Listening shows you really care about building something and working the bugs out along the way.

Just a few facts that hopefully will open the door to some relationships and maybe fine tune your method of building a connection with a dominant such as myself.

Show me. Tell me. Expose yourself to me intimately, honestly.  It's a good start.  ;)

~ Vista

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/93635743464

Not Any Sub Will Do.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/90802673009/bearded-architect-im-not-afraid-of-them

Especially those pesky demons that hold you at bay!  You know they taunt you, condemn you and threaten to expose you!  So bring them along, and expose them, lay them at my feet. I'm not afraid and would love to see them silent before me.  BUT..... In order to do that, you must first know yourself.

Awwww... There's the qualifier! It's not enough that you want to be submissive. That you want to surrender and fantasize what kind of delicious torment I may inflict upon your yielded body. Your desire to surrender to me really is not my trigger!  There are men lined up around the block who want to do that...for themselves.  If they're honest! Your hunger for that, does nothing for me.

What moves me?  It's the torment of your demons that wrestle with you at night when the room is dark and all you can hear is your own breathing.  Images flash across the screen in your mind and try as you might to look away you find your hand sliding up and down along your shaft and give yourself to the orgasm building deep at your base and balls.  Secrets you've not whispered to anyone, let alone a woman. You cum hard and while your seed dries upon your fingers and across your stomach, you turn your head away and mumble to yourself, "That's the last time."  Your statement is weak and your demons laugh once again at your pitiful resolve.

But I see beyond them. Beyond their taunting of you and I look upon the man who longs to live fully and be accepted.  I see your strength and how they try to beat you down in shame.  Come to me. Bring those blowhards to my door and watch them snivel in the corner as I celebrate every decadent part of you.  As I set you free and we both revel in their silence!  The shame they once held over your head as a banner will now become a flag of victory in your hand. Along with me, you will celebrate who you are, how you're wired and find yourself strong, yet weak when my eyes gaze your way.

Now only I will make you tremble. Tremble with the knowledge that nothing is hidden from the one who loves to own you.

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/91207272109/perseus6969-tastystreasures-mmmmmm-looking

Perverted Lust & Obsessive Adoration Required!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/67735896609

In these last few months of being single I have needed to reassess what my needs and desires are in men. While NB was in my life I entertained some subs but mostly men who were switches.  I really thought that desire for switches would continue, but have found recently it leaves me wanting for more.  I also realized that before my need for worship, adoration and obsessive lust toward me was filled by NB.  I didn't think much about it and how it effected me until now. Now I know his need was matched by my own.

It's been a great revelation to me and freeing to understand more what triggers the dom in me and those desires that only a genuine submissive man can bring out. I admit, I've been spoiled. I know that look of hunger, the obsessive lust and adoration cocktail that swirls within the soul of a submissive man. He becomes stripped of his power, helpless in my arms and surrenders all his strength just to lie by my side. His heart is laid bare before me; His eyes are filled with passion as he longs for a drink and taste of me. What mortal soul does not become addicted to that!

So my journey continues .... Submissive men need only apply.  I'm not asking you to fall in love with me, but perverted lust and obsessive adoration would be a requirement.

~ I am smiling and my heart warming at the thought ~

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/75379218814/msroxanne-sobarkingmad-via

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/74244678706

Saturday Eye Candy!

To celebrate Saturdays and that some Saturdays I have way too much time on my hands, here are a few of my a favorite Eye Candy today from my tumblr site! http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/

NB is back in Vegas with another trade show. It feels strange not being there with him, but my work schedule will be crazy for the next five months and my traveling wings have been clipped!  So he will be traveling to see me during this time.  Hopefully next toward the end of this month. My libido is going crazy without him, even though I do have another distraction locally, it's so much better when he is around.  I do know it's hard for those who are not in a cuckold relationship to understand the deep bond that is involved.  To them the extra activity would seem to drive a couple a part.  But for those who find this relationship and lifestyle rewarding it is truly the opposite.  It binds us even closer together.  It is who we are.  So in my celebration of the beautiful and many forms that men come in I'm adding something about my own luscious cuck.  Without him life would lose it's beauty.

Speaking of beauty.....I find the soft surrender of this young man intoxicating!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/47250976731/c-photo-nicola-de-luigi-facebook

And because you all know how I love a man's ass!  Shake it good!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/47309442178/shake-it-shake-it-good

This cock remind's me of NB's.  Nice and fat!  Yes I do enjoy him in every way!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/47033441671/thedirtydoctor-the-doctor-is-in-more-posts

Hot Teaser and Review of 'Guy New York'.

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Chicago, NB and My Strap-On!

This year has started out very promising. If you have been following this blog then you'll remember that NB had a very trying and emotional year last year and has been recovering emotionally from it's toll. The holidays were a struggle for him but he seems to be making great progress as this new year unfolds and I'm seeing more and more of the man I met and fell in love with a year and a half ago.  Without any hints from me, he planned a wonderful weekend for us in Chicago, (I leave Friday!) and he has been more and more his lovely, submissive, erotic, kinky, needy self!  See for me, the more his kinky and cuckold needs arise, the more excited I get.  It becomes a dance where we feed off of each other.  I can hear it in his voice when he calls. The way he answers me, addressing me as 'Mistress' and this craving of me in his voice that immediately gets me hot and wet!

Which brings up my Strap-On!  I've mentioned I'm not crazy about the idea of flying with my harness...but I'm chancing it this trip.  I'm so in need of pegging that lovely ass of his!  It's all about owning him completely which does something for both of us.  For him, it's about being owned and totally surrendering to me and giving me his most vulnerable area.  A way of proving his commitment and trust of who I am in his life.  For me, it's about owning him...every part and parcel of him.  Marking him as my own.  I love his vulnerability and growing dependency on me to meet and determine when those needs are met.  These are the things I take away from our relationship, among many other lovely benefits.  It's more proving ground, just as when we experienced our first cuckold encounter.  It's a cementing of who we are as a couple and what we are building together.

So as cold as Chicago will be (Brrrrr)....things will be lovely and hot for us.  We have no plans but to spend time together and NB showing me the town.  It's been 3 weeks.....Yep... I need that man close...now!  ;)

There will be some of this...  NB has very sensitive nipples!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/40718781632/cranniesinmybrain-muffled-laughter-love

And some of this!  Yes!!!!

http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/post/40689955362/trusseduptightly-very-nice-reminds-me-of-how

Raw Tears and Breaking Points

Click pic for source

Dearest pet.  Sometimes I want to stare at you; ready for me; surrendered to me; waiting and wondering what is going through my mind.  I walk around you as you're bound, lightly running my hands over your skin, listening to the gentle sounds you make with each stroke. I run my fingers through your hair and down along the shape of your face.  I place my mouth close to your ear, breathing softly and feeling the shivers running over your frame. "I want ALL of you."  I whisper in your ear.  You softly respond, "Yes Mistress."

I stroke your bare exposed ass and slip my fingers along your crease, moving down to your balls and cock that will soon feel the sting of my crop and flogger. My touch builds with intensity as I remember all you have shared of pent up emotions, buried struggles and the bare human ability to deal with harsh realities that you've had to deny in order to serve and protect those you've been given charge over.  Realities that haunt and fill your dreams. Numbness has brought you to the place of feeling mechanical. A machine, instead of flesh and blood.

"Would you like me to cry for you, Mistress?" You had asked in one of your vulnerable moments. "I never have and I really would like to be that vulnerable and openly raw and cry for you...I need to cry for you. Would you coax that out of me?  I know it's there...somewhere."

You have no idea how that broke me inside. The trembling truth and craving need I heard in your words. So I stare at you knowing what is coming.  Knowing I will bring you to that breaking point that will finally release the pain and anguish over the last few years.  Raw tears that will bring healing to your soul and allow you to feel again.  Breathe again.  Sleep again.

I put aside my own tears for you to find yours.

Click pic for source

Give Me Everything!

I look at this picture, which I found on tumblr today (go to my tumblr account: http://sexualdestinies.tumblr.com/ ..... also listed on the right top corner of this blog. ) ... and I see a beautiful picture of sweet surrender, pleasure and pain all mixed in a delicious blend for my erotic appetite!

Although I like to see the ropes a little tighter (leaving some tail signs of their work left on his skin when removed) for the beauty of this picture it works.  Ass and chest lifted up and leaning back upon the chair as the top of the chair slightly digs into his back.

I can hear the conversation...... "I'd like a picture of the work we've done today pet, so I'll need you to lift your ass up...thrusting your hips toward the ceiling, balancing yourself on the chair...very nice."

I run my hands along the back of his thighs, up along his curved buttocks, feeling the muscles tense and harden as he fights to keep still. Now my fingers gently trace along his stomach, up along his pectorals and find their way along his elongated throat.

"Hold it right there pet." I whisper in his ear.  He twitches, fighting sensations in the nerve endings my breath awakens.

My fingers run down from his shoulders to his bound hands and I step back taking the fullness of the sight into my soul.

His face is a lovely mixture of control, surrender, pain and pleasure.  The pleasure stemming from the intimate knowledge that his complete surrender pleases me. He trust me with all his vulnerabilities. He's free in my presence to explores his deepest needs. His darkest places.

I snap a few pictures. Beautiful. His surrender locked for all eternity.

"You may sit now pet."

He sighs and lowers himself down to the cold hard seat. He bows his head to relax the muscles in his neck.

"Keep your head bowed pet."

His breathing picks up as he hears me walk towards him. The warmth between my legs increases, wet, ready....We've only just begun to play.