Wherein I Nearly Lose My Sight and Preform Electrical Acts of Derring-do

La Keira and I painted the kitchen a lovely shade of grey yesterday.  Things went well and then I spent 5 hours painting the trim "Snowy Pine.'  I finished the last touch ups just as Moose walked in the door.  

Now we are just 2 small armchairs, a rug, a clever side table and a Dala horse away from realizing my decorating vision!

Moose began helping me move the fridge back to it's proper location when SPARK, FLASH, CLICK, Squeal, jump away.

Apparently, when we moved the fridge in the morning we had the power cord was beneath the fridge and we scraped off all of the insulation on the cord so that the copper wire was exposed.  As we were moving it back the exposed, live wire connected with the copper water pipe and Blamo!

We have a "new" refrigerator coming on Wednesday but this old fridge was meant to be my food storage/garage fridge.  I have been waiting a LONG time to have my refrigeration needs met and I was NOT going to let the dream die.

I spent the night worrying over the food in the fridge, whisking my meat supply over the Keira's Garage freezer and waiting for the appliance parts store to open in the morning.

In the morning I learned that the appliance parts store couldn't help me but Home Depot could.  That's correct, I could have solved this problem last night and slept soundly knowing that I wasn't going to lose this month's budgeted food supply.

Moose was still in bed when I left and I said to him "Don't go to work until I get back I will need your help with the fridge."

 I went to Home Depot and got supplies and detailed instructions and came home to find Moose had GONE TO WORK.

"Okay, I can do this myself, This will be a great blog post.  I will even take a before picture."  And I did.

"This is going to be a great post. Look, I even have wire strippers!"

I lined up the tools and supplies

Wire strippers, wire cutters, new cord, wire nuts, electrical tape

See how this is going to be great?

The gross wires coming from the fridge.  There was loads of lint and cat food back there.  I don't have a cat. EEEW!

I sat down, clipped of the cord and began stripping.  This is where it is all Moose's fault because if a strong man had been doing this the tragic event that followed would not have occurred. And then the wire cutters slipped off with all the force I had been applying to the cord and went INTO MY EYEBALL!

This is also where I am glad that I homeschool and that My 11 year old was home to assist me.
I screamed for Commander C while lying on the floor holding my eye and crying because I was A) in PAIN, B) So really mad at Moose and C) utterly defeated.  I just wanted to save the fridge and the food and now I was BLINDED!  He called Moose to let him know that I was dying on the floor and it was all HIS FAULT.  I managed to look out of my one good eye to see blood on my hands, "GREAT, I AM blind!"  Eventually I realized that I was crying and the tears didn't hurt so it might not be SO bad.  Commander C said that it wasn't so I mustered up the guts to look in the mirror.

After a few minutes of crying and a liberal dose of Arnica

It was all purple and bruised but I took some Arnica and in just a few minutes the bruising was all but gone.  My actual eye seems to be un-injured but the eye hurt for a few hours and now if I close my eyelid and touch my eye it still hurts.  I would like to thank my cheek for taking the brunt of the blow in order to save my eye.

I dispatched Commander C to the garage for some SAFETY GOGGLES and went back to work.  That food wasn't keeping itself cold (well actually it was but it can't keep that up forever.)

 Wires were stripped but there was a problem even though Home Depot Electrical Department Man said that they would the wires from the fridge cord did not match the green, white and black wires of the replacement cord.  There was a green cord but the other two wires were no color, just brown like the whole cord.  I called my Brother in law but while I waited for an answer I just guessed and did it.

If I did this wrong and Starlings is in danger, please, let me know.

I plugged it in and the power was on! But the compressor wasn't running and I was a bit worried and just when I was about to despair it kicked on.

I fixed my refrigerator.

Supplemental Income

Many couples are looking for ways to add to the household income in these tough economic times.  Here at Starlings we are no different as evidenced by a recent conversation.

Me: You need to make more money.
Moose: Oh, why?
Me: Because I need a maid and a cook, or maybe just a housekeeper, I think they can do both.  Maybe you should start a crime syndicate.
Moose: Well, I have been watching this Dillinger movie and crime really does pay.
Me: Until you get shot in front of a theater.
Moose: But then Johnny Depp will play me in a movie and we can have the royalties.
Me: Profits.

Love and Snakebites

Last night Moose and I had an impromptu mini date. We watched a movie TOGETHER (that almost never happens) and ate my new favorite treat, homemade popcorn with Swedish fish, a happy by product of Cinema Domingo where the Swedish fish and popcorn mingle in the same bowl. We drank pulp-free lemonade. The movie was decent. We had so much fun.

In other news, the neighborhood kids caught a garter snake. Yesterday must have been the single most terrifying day of "Lightning's" life. The day he was caught and manhandled by 11 wild children. His terror continues. Boba Fett was bitten, he didn't even care.

Offered: Coon Skin Hat - Coon Included.

I know you are all waiting patiently and not-so-patiently for pictures of the new house and snapshots from the retro housecleaning party. Trust me, I would rather be blogging about that I am very sorry to be blogging about raccoons.

I am terrified of raccoons, it all started one night nearly 20 years ago when I was sleeping under the stars in Southern Idaho and some raccoons found the camp trash cans. They feasted all night long while I cowered inside my sleeping bag. I had never actually seen a raccoon before and I was scared.

I have also read Where the Red Fern Grows many, many times and I know how smart and dangerous those guys are, even more reason to be afraid.

You see a raccoon showed up in the next door neighbor's tree, hanging over our yard looking down upon my tasty children on Friday afternoon. It was lethargic and convulsing and I figured it would not make it through the day. The next morning it was gone but Sunday evening he was back in the tree, convulsing, and was there all day today (Monday.)

The inter-webs inform me (according to the Washington County website) that the county will not come get a possibly rabid raccoon or any other wild animal. They will come get cats and dogs. Ummm, OK. I can call a private company and pay $175 for them to catch the little beast but how exactly am I going to be able to afford to pay to have a raccoon removed? I just bought a house, I'm broke!

Also, explain this: The county doesn't consider a convulsing raccoon an emergency because there hasn't been a case of rabies in Washington County in 30 years but a private raccoon catcher is required to euthanize the raccoons because they might have distemper. Distemper sounds like a fancy word for Rabies to me.

Did I mention my little kids playing on the porch 10 feet beneath the raccoon?

So my Dad and I are brainstorming over the phone ways to "deal" with the raccoon when I turn around to see Boba Fett the future Zoologist with tears streaming down his cheeks. He doesn't wan the raccoon to die. Great.

So, tonight, Moose is waiting for me to finish putting Nutmeg to bed when he hears a vicious growling outside. We ran to the window to find the raccoon on my beautiful new porch staring up at me with his bandity eyes, convulsing.... The Raccoon. Convulsing and Strolling. On. My. Porch.

Moose went to the gym, shortly afterward I heard some clanging outside. I hope the Raccoon didn't get him.

I can't handle a rabid husband right now.

Mother, May I?

Mother's Day has to be the best holiday at our house.

Today the sun is shining, I wasn't expecting gifts, however, I woke up to
a very creative "Valentine" down planned to the smallest detail by Nutmeg and her written plans, executed with the help of Moose under her the direction of Nutmeg.Heart shaped jewelry from Boba Fett,
flowers and long coveted Matryoska nesting dolls/measuring cups from Moose.
I get to show off my new Mori Girl Skirt, made by me, designed by me, drafted by me, cursed by me fitted by Paula.

At church I am leading the children in a Mother's day song in Sacrament Meeting and in Primary there will be games, aprons, rolling pins and squirt guns.

After church there will be our annual Mother's Day Picnic (no cooking,) but this year it will not be at Council Crest Park but on the porch of my new house.
We get the keys at 6 pm.

The 9th Annual Moose Appreciation Days

I am a few days late in posting this but I am up to my Bumpit in boxes here. Learn about the Tradtion of Moose Appreciation Days here

Day 1:
"I love Daddy and Daddy Loves Me" -Nutmeg

I like when you bring me chocolates...and cakes...and cookies...

Day2:
I think that you going to the gym everyday is awesome and sexy!

Day 3:
I like your beard, a lot.

Samurai Mom and The Case of the Missing Coupons

The shopping at Michael's was a little more expensive this year as coupons were scarce. Sure, you can use Joann coupons but sometimes you need your Joann coupons for fabric.

I couldn't figure out why everyone in the neighborhood was getting the Food Day newspaper in their driveway and I wasn't. I even thought about stealing the one in front of the single-guy-who-never-takes-out-the-trash-and-lives-like-a-hermit's house as I am sure he doesn't read the paper or need the coupons but stealing is stealing even if they don't want it.

The Food Day newspaper as everyone in town knows has the valuable Michael's coupon in it.

One day I presented my online Michael's coupon printed with the very last breath of my printer to the gal at the checkout. She let out a loud sigh and then squinted and attempted to decipher the bar code. She was not amused nor moved by my babbling tale of how the newspaper hasn't been coming for some reason, and my printer is out of ink and it costs $70 to fill it....

So finally after months of suffering I mentioned something about the Food Day newspaper and the coupons included while setting the table "Oh," Moose said " I happened to catch the guy as he was delivering one day and asked him to stop bringing them. I was tired of picking them up."

He asked the newspaper guy to stop bringing me my Michael's coupons.

He asked the newspaper guy to stop bringing me my Michael's coupons!!!

If you ever have spare Michael's coupons I will gratefully accept them.

A Trip To Remember

There is snow and Portland and you know what that means, hijinks!

But let's go back to the beginning. We woke up with a start at 7:38 am MST. "No," I screamed inwardly, "It can't be time to get up yet!" I got up, padded through my parent's house to find another clock to confirm. Drat. Not only was it time to get up, we were late. So I forced Moose out of bed and we loaded up and were on the road at 8:40 MST.

At 11:40 am PST were arriving in Spokane for lunch, gas and a chat with our cousins. I pulled out my purse and found that the small bottle of coconut oil I keep as a moisturizer had melted into liquid thanks to Moose's attempt to keep me warm by roasting me with the car heater. I set it on top of the car to cool down while we ate.
At 12:40 we were on the road again headed for Portland or bust. I stopped a little short behind a bus and my coconut oil went flying off the car. We laughed hysterically and Moose retrieved it. We thought "Boy, will we remember this tip as the time I left the coconut oil on top of the car!" Cute.
At Tri-cities I was very sleepy so I stopped for more gas and to let Moose drive and wash the windows. Oh, yeah did I mention that our windshield wiper fluid was frozen until Hood River?

Since our cell phones don't work in Montana we had forgotten to charge them before we left. I had no power and Moose had one tiny bar. If only we had remembered to charge them up, we might have received some of the warning calls.
So at 4:30 we are getting a little excited, there looked like rain up ahead but there was just a little more than an hour left of the drive and there was a house fire in The Dalles visible from the road, surely it would be big news on the TV tonight. Around Hood River we hit snow. It was bad for Oregon and I was afraid they would close the road for the 2 inches of snow. The road wasn't closed and at 5:30 I thought to call La Keira to see about snow in Portland. Yes, there was a little snow on the ground about and inch. I guess she hadn't listened to the news.

We came into Portland still excited about our quick trip and being home for a reasonable dinner. Then we realized, it is 6 pm rush hour, in Portland, in a snowstorm. An hour later we had made it to the Lloyd Center Exit and had dinner at Red Robin. Everything was packed like a parking lot and 26 was closed, there isn't really an alternate route. We watched the snow fall in huge clumps and discussed the irony of driving 1,400 miles to Montana and back with no snow only to be snowed in at the Red Robin 10 miles from our house.

At 8:15, our bellies full we piled back into the car for another hour and fifteen minutes of inching our way home the remaining 10 miles. Really, waiting it out at Red Robin was genius even though we didn't get home until 9:30 pm PST, I don't think it would have been any faster had we stayed our course on the freeway, and we would have been hungry, cranky and have exploded bladders.


Blessings: We were prepared for a long trip, most people were just out in town and blindsided by the storm and didn't get home for hours and we had TONS of weight being loaded up with all the spoils of Christmas.


Boba Fett put it best. "When it snows in Portland people lose their minds." It wasn't the snow that was the problem it is the complete lack of ability to drive in snow AND the fact that there are only a few major roads in and out of Portland. There isn't anyway around it you have to go through it.

Ice Ballerinas

Skating at the Woodland Park skating rink wasn't quite the same as skating at the old Woodland Park pond. I missed the dark, smoky warming hut with ancient grafitti carved by ice skate blades and risking my life to get down the hill to the lumpy and bumpy pond that may or may not be frozen solid. Not one crazy boy climbed to the top of the hill and skated down the hill to land on the ice at great speed.
But there was an Ice Machine which Dad called a "Zambomi" but it was a Honda not a Zamboni. That was cool. You see, it was too warm to skate on the pond and the rink had skates for rent!It could have been a disaster, 3 children and 3 adults only two of them skaters and it was bit overwhelming at the beginning.
But Moose picked it up immediately,
Commander C was determined to figure it out himself,

Boba Fett was aided by the "walker."
Nutmeg refused help so we followed along behind her. Everyone was skating on their own before we left for the day.
Nutmeg liked skating between two people so she could do tricks like the above. She now wants to be an "Ice Ballerina."Grandma skated as hard as anyone and I couldn't have handled 3 kids on the ice without her. We did spins together and she taught me how to spin around while skating backwards. There were races, and cash prizes from Grandpa.
Moose and I skated several laps holding hands and even kissed. Which was fun but not as memorable as my first kiss, which happened behind the Woodland Park warming hut.

Matching Stockings: A Cautionary Tale

In 1959 my mother and father in law started a family. 4 little girls arrived in quick succession and a matching set of Christmas stockings was purchased. Then Moose showed up in 1977 and a matching stocking could not be found and so a stocking was made at a department store. And he was scarred for life, every Christmas the toe pointing in the wrong direction and the glittered name reminded him that he was the caboose. Scarred for 30 years.
And then his fabulous wife made him a reproduction stocking. She also made matching stockings for herself and the children so no one would be left out.
So, let this be a lesson to all the mothers out there who have a set of matching stockings and haven't go around to getting one for the "baby" of the family. Either commit matching or let everyone have different stocking, because you can't guarantee that they will marry someone crafty.

Deck the Halls

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

A holly wreath could not be had this year but I am very pleased with the replacement. In fact I like it so much more than the traditional holly.
12 1/2 feet of a Christmas tree. The best tree yet. We had the prettiest tree ever a few years ago but this one is tall and skinny and fits just right. We don't have to squeeze by to get into the hall. It was heavy, very heavy.
I just love dollar store decorations don't you?

The kids are finally old enough to understand the advent boxes.
The hanging crocheted snowflakes are beautiful
but really hard to take a picture of.
I just can't convey the feel of the snowflakes and how they spin with every breeze. Everyone loves them.
The papier-mâché Father Christmas my mom made last year and the "Babushka" matryoshka dolls Moose bought me for our very first Christmas.

Merry Christmas!

Gratitude part 7

I am SO grateful that today was the last day of soccer season. I am also grateful that this season has not been as grueling as other years despite the fact that we has 2 kids on different teams playing on different days. I am glad that I have healthy kids that can play soccer. I am grateful that Moose had to be a coach this year!

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday Moose

I was going to post a picture of the oft requested but rarely received "fudge frosting" which takes hours to make. But since it didn't turn out there is no picture. You can enjoy the video instead

Sense and Sensibility

"I don't know what to wear tomorrow." I told Moose as we packed for the return trip to Portland. "This is the most comfy." holding up my 'I Love Reagan' shirt. "But I don't want to be killed in a gas station for my political beliefs."
"That is unlikely." Moose replied "What you should say is 'I don't want to get into a car accident and have the paramedics cut it up, because statistically that is way more likely."
"Right."
Isn't he sensible?

Ask the Readers

Big changes are afoot here at the home of Moose and Samurai Mom. We are painting every wall, getting new counter tops, refacing the kitchen cabinets, a new sink and faucet as well as replacing the siding. No, we have not come into a lot of money, and, yes, we will be accepting dinner invitations to help shrink our food budget.

I contend that after 10 faithful years and a shiny new kitchen we deserve a new tea kettle. This picture shows somewhat the grease, grime and burn marks of our current kettle as well as it's outdated color and style. Moose disagrees.
You decide. Please leave your vote "Yea" or "Nay" in the comments.

Show Off Week

I am still sick. My symptoms abated long enough to accept a new calling yesterday afternoon only to wake up this morning with a screaming sore throat. I honor of my being laid up I thought that this week I will post some of the the things I have been making this month and one thing that I have been in the process of making for 3 years.

We begin with the thing that earned me two huge fights/ breakdowns with my husband and this lovely stress cold. The School Room:

Firstly, I have wanted to get rid of the old red walls in this room for quite a while. The realtor said the red needed to go and I took that as my green light. La Keira and I pick out a soulless color for this room as well as my upstairs bed/bath suite.
While priming the bath I lost my resolve and sent Moose back to the paint store to have them remix what was "Sparkling Spring" into "River Rock." "River Rock" looked like a slightly blue grey on the chip turned out baby blue in the bathroom. It also turned out baby blue on the test wall in the schoolroom. Distraught I went back to the paint store on the advice of La Keira and my sister to see what they could do. The kind lady added an ounce of black to each saying it was the best she could do. I said I would take it. I came home and LOVED the color.
Since the color is of my own design (or rather, the design of fate) I think I will name it "Marital Discord" because just as I was preparing to get the room ready to paint. Moose says to me "Aren't we going to re-texture the wall?"
Here is a bit of advice, when Samurai Mom is on a roll doing projects she does not like to do (i.e. painting and the dishes) do NOT put up obstacles that suggest to impede or slow her down. Enter fight #1.

Two days later I found this painting at GW and took a chance because of its size. It seems to work and surprisingly Moose has said nothing derogatory about it. This painting did not lead to fight #2.

Moose says he likes how the room looks "sparse" (read "uncluttered.") I like it too but I still have 3 huge piles of clutter that usually go in the schoolroom that now need to find a place and that "sparse" room looks pretty likely.

Also, now that the schoolroom looks so sophisticated I think we need to call it something else. "Conservatory" was the first idea but I looked it up and it means greenhouse more or less. Perhaps "The Sitting Room" because the whole point is that I want this room to be used and sat in. I am open to your suggestions.

Also, let us pray that my relationship with my husband makes it through this house selling process somewhat intaact.