C. A mind-boggling experience with my daughter which required me to explain that gospel truths and Mormon culture are often disparate
Let me set the scene.
Chapel in LDS church full of girls and their parents (mostly moms) attending a Girls' Camp Fireside. It's a Sunday, they leave two days from now for a five day adventure in the semi-wilderness where they'll have running water (cold only), no electricity and cabins without beds. The invitation requested that the girls wear Princess Attire or Sunday Best. (We chose the latter.) Some girls are wearing ball gowns and tiaras, others don skirts and tops. The girls in front of me opted for the Goth princess look, although it seemed like that was probably their normal attire.
Here's what happened.
The fireside began fine. There was a slideshow with photos of the camp. A stake camp leader gave us (especially newbies) more information, expectation and rules -- all good things. In particular, I liked seeing photos of where my daughter would get eaten alive by giant insects, fall in the lake and tumble down a cliff -- all where there is no cell service. I was secretly really glad/prideful she is an excellent swimmer (yea for swim team!), glad I had packed extra bug repellent and reminded myself to stash an ace wrap in her first aide kit.
Next, the camp director said a few things that were nice along the lines of -- you are a princess. She spoke a little about preparing for the next stage in life and how we can attain our own happily ever after because we are princesses as daughters of God. Next, she mentioned that we would watch President Uchtdorf's talk,
"Happy Ever After." Elder Uchtdorf is awesome and I hoped for an airplane story to break up the princess talk. We watched the talk --which is great. The main point is this: "Heavenly Father offers to you the greatest gift of all—eternal life—and the opportunity and infinite blessing of your own “happily ever after.” Of course there are funny points and references to princesses and princes in the talk. The reminder that heroes and heroines must get through their individual challenges to get to their "happily ever after" seemed (to me) to be the point of his talk.
Next we got another slideshow. Bless that PowerPoint. This time it was one of those life vignettes. It portrayed a girl from newborn stage to 12-16ish age. Then-- it skipped directly from girls' camp photos to wedding portraits outside a temple. I started to feel queasy. So, you go to girls' camp, make good choices and end up in the temple and that's your happily ever after?! They missed the entire point of President Uchtdorf's talk. Eternal Life is your happily ever after. Temple sealing is one step in that direction. It is not the end nor the happily every after. For me, temple marriage was a beginning. In the talk, Pres. Uchtdorf gives the example of wooing his wife, but is just to make a point and perhaps to play to the romanticism of the women to which the talk was first delivered. It is not the overall theme of the talk. His point is that some things take time, sometimes (OFTEN) there is adversity.
And then I started looking around the room to see if anyone else seemed perplexed. I didn't know many people there. There were lots of girls without parents with them. Of those I knew in the room, several came from single parent homes. Suddenly, my mind was whirling. What about the girls who don't get married? Will they think they've done something wrong? What about their mothers?
The stake camp director got up, introduced our next speaker (one of two men on the stand). He was balding, but quite young. I wondered if he was a high councilor over young women. It seemed unlikely -- a very young high councilor over young women. Nope! He was a recently returned missionary. Very recently. The camp director gushed over him, talked about happily ever afters, temple marriage and then, while crying, told the girls -- "This is what a knight in shining armor looks like, girls!".
He blushed and proceeded with his talk. It was a fine talk about how accepting the gospel changes people for good. But then.....he translated a talk from a girl he met on his mission. She rambled on and on. At first, it was about her terrible family life and how her mother hated her and her father beat her. It only got worse when she shared (what seemed to be) page after page after page of suicidal ideations. But then, as she was contemplating killing herself and how she would do it, missionaries appeared and introduced her to the gospel. He kind of stopped right there. What a weird and personal letter to read to girls that are 12-17 years old. (It looked like the majority of the girls were under 15.)
My eyes were bugging out of my head by this point. The final speaker was indeed a high councilor. I don't remember much of what he said other than he named all the Disney princesses -- right down to Tiana and how his granddaughters dress up like every single one of them. He thanked the great leaders going to girls' camp and gave a bit of a final Yea for Girls' Camp. After a song and a prayer, we filed into the cultural hall for cookies and ice cream in proper Mormon fashion.
I sent my daughter to the refreshment line when a friend caught up with me with tears in her eyes. Kim, a single mom, was devastated to think that her daughter would feel like a failure if she grew up, made good choices and never got her own happily ever after wedding day. Kim did not choose her single motherhood, but had adopted her niece and nephew after her sister died.
My daughter chatted (mostly giggled) with her friends and we talked about the last stages of camp preparations with other girls and leaders from our ward. When we reached the car, I just sat there for a minute and then I said...
Melina, you need to know that I don't agree with everything we heard in that fireside. Here are the gospel facts. You are a daughter of God. So am I. We have a Savior. The gospel has been restored. This is true. President Uchtdorf said that happily ever after is eternal life. That is true. There are challenges along the way to overcome. Your happily ever after is not the day you get married in the temple. That day is one big happy step in the process. I want that for you. I also want you to be your own person and take these steps in life at times that are right for you. Let's remember that temple marriage is more of a long-term goal right now, especially considering you'll be starting junior high next month. Don't forget there is high school, college and lots of experiences over the next ten or more years! The Young Women program is great and will teach you a lot, but it's always good to verify things through prayer and by asking me. I'm pretty sure you'll have fun at camp. And it's ok if you miss me a little while you're gone. Good luck figuring out that triangular bandage.
And there you have it!
Sightseeing in The Painted Desert in Arizona. Hot. Pretty Colors. Cousins from far away. Earning Junior Ranger patches. Petrified wood.
More fun in Arizona: Andy's Grandma turned 100 --what a party!
We hiked to Red Cliffs (near Leeds, Utah). Awesome Slide. Red rock walls. Cool water. More (you guessed it) COUSINS!
