As I've alluded to previously on this blog, Katie comes from a family well versed in the gospel of Walt and very familiar with his Magic Kingdom. There are a million memories for her tucked into that massive property in Florida, and I knew this was going to be a part of our future as well.
(And, just to avoid any confusion, it's a part of our future I'm happy about. Any place that uses a gigantic golf ball to welcome its guests is all right in my book.)
This month, we had our first chance to experience Disney World (and any theme park for that matter) together. Though I'd been once before with my family, I knew I was going to be a rookie on a team of seasoned veterans this time around and came ready to learn from the pros.
In no particular order, here are some of the strategies for Disney success I gleaned from the Jorgensens:
1. DRESS TO IMPRESS
Wide-eyed and tie dyed on our first day.
St. Louis Cardinals theme. Yeah, I messed this one up, but we fixed that problem before leaving Florida. And yes, our whole crew is in this picture.
Another "We're from St. Louis" shout out. Still waiting for my first taste of Ted Drewes frozen custard, but I've already got the T-shirt to prove it.
Typical Utah Ute fans. Always looking for chances to rebel.
To the common man, the M's on Mom and Dad's shirts are for the M&M candies, but for those hip to Roman numerals, you'll know these are exclusive Club M shirts for guests who have been to the park 1,000 times :)
2. KNOW WHEN TO CLOSE 'EM, KNOW WHEN TO POSE 'EM
This family never passes on a Kodak moment, and they knew when that oh-so special moment comes on every ride.
Me? Not so much
Eventually I caught on
3. ANY AIR-CONDITIONED ATTRACTION IS A WORTHWHILE ATTRACTION
Nowhere was this principle put to work more than at EPCOT, where the folks at Disney stretch the definition of an amusement park by attempting to disguise education and learning as "rides" and "games."
We made two visits to EPCOT on our vacation, and both times we began that visit right after lunch .... during the hottest part of the day. While some of the "rides" were tougher than others not to sleep through, the afternoons weren't a total bust.
4. ALWAYS KEEP ONE BLADDER EMPTY
Thanks to Camelbacks, staying hydrated at the park is not an issue.
Thanks to Disney, finding a women's bathroom is not an issue either.
Katie's Dad once created a "name that restroom" game with pictures of bathrooms around the park. Makes perfect sense to me now.
5. LINES ARE FOR AMATEURS
There are only two lines the Jorgensens wait in: the one before the park gates open and the one to get on the bus after it closes.
We were up and at 'em early every morning, hit all the popular rides at the start and grabbed fast passes for a second go-round before lunch. The one downside to this strategy is that you only get two cracks at your favorite ride that day, but in most cases it's a small sacrifice in order to conquer more of the park and avoid standing in line.
The longest line we probably stood in was an evacuation line in the EPCOT ball. Just as we were approaching the invention of Egyptian papyrus on our historical journey, the ride stalled for 10 minutes until they shut it down and escorted us back through time towards the exit.
6. THE MOUSE IS EVERYWHERE IN WALT'S HOUSE
Ever been on a ride at Disney World and seen something on the wall that resembled a pair of Mickey ears? Chances are you were right.
I was fully invested in the "Hidden Mickey" game from the start, so much so that by the middle of the week the duty of lugging the Hidden Mickey Bible became my responsibility. However, the more vague and subjective some of the hidden Mickeys became, the less interested I became.
7. GET LOST IN THE MAGIC
Disney World is no place for a 30-year old male with no children and a healthy dose of cynicism in his head. But I showed up ready to push those two facts aside for a week and enjoy it for what it is.
How do they grow thousands of different plants in swampy Florida? What makes people to stand in line for 30 minutes to ride "It's a Small World?" How is Mickey Mouse in 17 places around four different parks at once?
Magic, I tell you. It's simply magic.
Of course, not everyone cares to sprinkle on the pixie dust and buy into this idea.
People of Earth, meet The Butts Family. A word of advice to any of you who run into the Butts' down the road: They love parades, and they enjoy a clear view of those parades.
We never quite figured out what showed up moments before the start of the Main Street Electrical Parade and apparently forced them to stop SITTING ON THE CURB and stand up for the entire show. Surely if there was a way the Butts could have SAT ON THE CURB to help the four rows of people SITTING BEHIND THEM ON THE SIDEWALK see the parade they would have. After all, they told us their heart-wrenching experience from the previous night, arriving two hours in advance for the parade and still struggling to see most of it when the people in front of them decided to stand up for the parade.
Somehow we still managed to have a fun evening together and enjoy a good view of the lights show on the castle and fireworks, with Heidi and Teri providing the music. Was it the tryptophan from Heidi's turkey leg that kept us in good spirits? Try again.
8. THE REAL FUN COMES FROM WITHIN THE FAMILY
Meet the crew
Mama Jorgy aka "Shooter"
A whiz on the Toy Story-themed rides, Mom also has an affinity for the G-forces on Mission: Space. And she always has a hair clip when you need one.
Papa Jorgy aka "Marathon Man"
This is the only time Dad looked worn out the entire week. Pretty good for a guy who supplemented the 8.5-11 miles of walking through the park each day with a morning run.
While Dad was kind enough to make the extra effort and collect fast passes for everyone, none of us were able to move fast enough to return the favor and get him good seats for the Herman's Hermits concert.
Teri aka "Sugar Mama"
Not one to brag about her awesome life, Teri let us all take advantage of her Disney employee/cast member perks and didn't show the least bit of disgust on her face while being stalked by her family on the job. Not only did entertain us, she also made it a special day for a certain NBA champion's kids
Oh, and did I mention she went on a cruise the week before our trip?
Heidi aka "Happy Feet"
Every good crew needs a trigger-happy camera person to chronicle the week's events, and Heidi nailed that role without even having to be talked into it.
It probably explains why we didn't give her much grief about her other talent that is equally a necessary evil to the equation: the kid who walks out of every show singing the songs and mimicking the dance moves until the cycle starts anew at the next show.
Katie and Rob aka " The Newlyweds"
We made a great team. Screamed on rides when necessary. Avoided getting soaked on water rides. Snuck food to each other during shows. Only took one afternoon off, and spent if watching "Beauty and the Beast." Loved Toy Story's Midway Mania so much we bought the home version.
P.S. The Weilers have a vacation principle of our own which was not to be denied. If your hotel is within shouting distance of four golf courses, you better find your way inside the fence.
Check.
