The Days, they Run Together and Form one Giant, NeverEnding Day of Repetition

The past few weeks have been sluggish and yet full of life-altering decisions.

How I've Spent My Time:
- deciding to move back to Virginia- applying to countless jobs (that I didn't get)

- being offered a position at a tech camp this summer in VA, that I'm currently working on paperwork for

- seeing good friends and prolonging goodbyes

- catching up on TV and movies

- sleeping, sleeping, and more sleeping. (Seriously... I have an addiction. I slept probably 10 hours last night and didn't even need it.)

- finishing up my old journal, preparing to start a new one

- 3 paragraphs of a potential new book (that I will procrastinate and most likely quit... if not now, then halfway through... but here's to optimism!)

- furthering my status as a make-out whore

- planning a trip cross-country, then scratching that plan and creating a new one... damn you snow for delaying our curvy, out-of-the-way, backtracking, sightseeing adventure (that would cross off a whole pile of 101/1001 for both me and Hither)!

- preparing to travel North anyway for a mini-roadtrip, pre-roadtrip... and to see a former friend/facebook fiancee

- transferring my Geico from LA to VA... which I found out will cut my bill in HALF.

- enjoying the rain-soaked days of LA, which are so rare but have been in abundance as of late

- having coffee talk

- seeing Banana one night and the Dub Crew the next... guy friends I've really missed

- going to 100 monkeys and remembering why I love this band so effing much, why it hurts when they're away, why I'll continue to go even when they make me mad

- rediscovering happiness that change so often brings

our original roadtrip, before we realized it was February and neither of us has really driven in a lot of snow

What have you been doing lately? How do you spend your time when you're not working?

Everything is backwards now; like out there is the true world and in here is the dream

Avatar (James Cameron, 2009)

Well, what can I say? I went into this movie not really expecting to like it... I tend to have a hangup and a preconceived bias against BIG movies, it would seem. I thought I'd hate The Hangover too (but then, the trailer for that made it look incredibly stupid and it ended up being ridiculously funny). My old office had all seen it, using the free screenings offered with the ID badge freelancers like me weren't allowed, and all of them came back with an "eh" response... saying it's only good because of the visuals. So I went in with the mindset of a jaded film exec and was blown away. Banana and I did the whole 3D thing, because really, you have to. Usually, 3D gives me a headache... but these, these 3D glasses... the ones that are actually GOOD... once I got used to watching a film through lenses instead of my naked eye, the effect didn't bother me at all. 

So everything you've heard about it is true. If you haven't seen it, think Pocahontas meets Fern Gully. With $300 million thrown at it. 

Personally, I'm a big fan of simplicity, of naturalism. I prefer things to be real, with little to no special effects or digital enhancements. For me, it's all about the story. But that doesn't mean I can't appreciate the technology leaps this film has made. 

Cameron created this world pretty much from scratch. He wrote the script years ago - before Titanic, even - but the technology he would need to make it wasn't available. So he created it, with the best minds in the field. But Cameron is much better at using technology to advance the story than George Lucas is. While Avatar is a technology overload, it's done with finesse, with beauty. Everything is there because it has to be, because it further tells the story. Unlike, say, the prequel trilogy, which always has me picturing Lucas saying "look what I can do with my computer!" Star Wars (the prequels and the revamped originals) are too cluttered and TOO digital... Lucas creates things via computer that he has no need to. But Avatar proves technology doesn't have to cheapen the story.

And though it's a simple, basic, classic story, it's easy to connect to. The film industry is a big fan of "if it ain't broke..." and recycles ideas and plots like it's going to save the environment. But as retired as it may be, it still grips you and has you rooting for the protagonists. Sure, it's predictable... but see enough films in this town, and everything is. 

It's what Cameron knows best: a love story amongst chaos. Two class systems/cultures coming together, and the "upper class" assimilating into that of the "lower". But damn, if he doesn't do it well.

Seriously, if you haven't seen it yet, do. I waited long enough. It lives up to the hype, I promise. There's a reason it was nominated for 9 Academy Awards. (though I still want Kathryn Bigelow to win Best Director... sorry James).

The way I see it, always go in with low expectations, because then there's no room for disappointment.

The Hollywood Reporter review can be found here

Photos comes from here

Think October Road, but without the Illegitimate Love Child

It's been decided. I'm moving home. Before any of you grab the pitchforks and giant logs and come parading in the middle of the night to my castle/mid-sized LA apartment, ready to beat me down with your judgments and tales of woe, let me explain.

I have very little money. I'm waiting on maybe 3 unpaid checks, and then that's it. No more money coming into the account de Rebecca. Which means I literally can't afford to live. Not with rent, insurance, and other bills. I've been scouring for jobs... I applied for jobs here in LA, back home in VA, and all over the Northwest (my dream area). So far, I've gotten lots of "thank you for your interest, your application has been placed in a pool to be considered. Please do not respond to this email" and empty answers, lots of "we're fully staffed but you're welcome to submit an application" and "we've already filled the position you've applied for." I was rejected from the DGA, and Teaching Fellows in both New York and Oakland. It's been a rough month. (Note: I actually just get offered a job at a summer tech camp in VA. yay!).

For those of you who say I need to be "reckless": I've spent the last 2 years being reckless. Before moving to LA (an adventure in itself that could be considered, by some, "reckless"), I was such a goody goody. I just re-read my journal from my study abroad... I wanted to punch myself in the face. And that's only from 3 years ago. While I'm still much more tame than others, I'm not so pure and innocent anymore. I've kissed more boys in the past 2 years than I had in the entirety of my life before LA. I've worked part-time jobs and could barely pay rent. LA has broken my naivete and optimism.

I'm not one to admit failure easily. I'm actually terrified of it. But LA and I have failed each other.

Don't get me wrong: the idea of moving home scares the daylights out of me as well. I haven't lived with my Mom for more than a few weeks since I was right out of high school. Though we've both matured, we do better on the phone than we do in person. So the thought of giving up, moving back in my Mom, facing my high school friends all over again after two years of independence in LA... it kind of freaks me out. There goes that independence I was so proud of, fought so hard for. And yea, leaving LA will be hard. I'll miss the music, the people, the elbow brushing. I'll miss the availability of opportunity. I'll miss the film industry that I've so come to hate. But home will be an adventure, too. I haven't lived in Richmond since I was 18. I didn't enjoy the vintage and artistic streets of the Fan, the history of downtown, the beautiful setting against the James River, the Southern roots in a city many Northerners forget was once the capital of the Confederacy, the capital of the South. Home is where my Mom is and where my Grandparents are, both of whom need me right now. 

So Home isn't giving up in an all-encompassing sense of the phrase. Home is going to be hard. Moving home is being brave, admitting that I need a change (something my stubborn self isn't always prone to do). Will I regret it? Possibly. But I'd just as easily regret staying. 

And home is NOT a permanent thing. It's a chance for me to catch up, to save, to be nurtured a bit.

When I was younger, I dreamed of a life of difference. I feared growing up and becoming my mother, as so many of us do. I didn't want the small town life with a humdrum job. I wanted adventure and excitement. I wanted fame and fortune. As I've grown older, my views have changed. I see the world of the entertainment industry everyday, and it's not a life I want anymore. As a kid, I didn't see the real life behind it. I don't want 18 hour days and unhappy marriages. I don't want glitzy parties and tabloid fodder. I want a family, a home, and to make a real difference, if only in a few lives. 

And who knows, maybe I'll change my mind in 5 years and move back to LA. But right now, I've got to make a change. So LA, you have two weeks.

Aren't you glad the Army has all these tanks parked here? Just in case the Russians come and we have to have a big tank battle?

As part of Goal 57, I'm required to see all the Best Picture Nominees before the Oscars. In past years, I've averaged 2-3 of the 5 nominations, which was hard enough. But this year, the Academy decided to up it and nominate 10 films for this "prestigious" award. Which is ridiculous, in my opinion. It makes the title "Best Picture Nominee" a bit more worthless. I get wanting to recognize superior filmmaking, but really? Doubling the nominee pool? And sticking with my usual, broke, movie-going self, when the list came out, I counted TWO of the ten as ones I'd seen. Inglourious Basterds and Up in the Air. Which means I have a long way to go.

Number Three of Ten is The Hurt Locker (Kathryn Bigelow, 2009).

First of all, I'd like to congratulate Kathryn Bigelow for being the fourth woman ever to be nominated for Best Director. The Guardian did an article last week about why there are so few female directors. It's here if you're interested.

The film is about an Army elite bomb squad and their stint in a heavily dangerous Iraq. We follow Jeremy Renner (nominated for Best Actor - Leading Role), Anthony Mackie, and Brian Geraghty through bomb detonations, suicide bombers, and their daily life in the war. We're also treated to bit performances from Guy Pearce and Ralph Fiennes. The whole film keeps this great tension running at its core, and everyone and everything is a threat. It's like Black Hawk Down but much, much better. The thing about war movies is that they always throw grenades at you. You never know who will live and who will die, and Bigelow shows the character's reactions to war, death, and life in a realistic way. Each character has its breaking point. Each character has a choice. 

Shot in a documentary style manner, the shaky cameras and practical lighting puts the viewer in the danger zones with the unit. There's a moment in the last act where the three soldiers are running in the dark, and the screen is black for a full minute or so before their faces come back into view, creating a level of tension and fear that fit the moment perfectly. It's Iraq from the safety of your living room.

57. See all the Best Picture Nominees each given year

Avatar

The Blind Side

District 9

An Education

The Hurt Locker

Inglourious Basterds

Precious: Based on the Novel 'Push' by Sapphire

A Serious Man

Up

Up in the Air

photos courtesy of Google search

In Which I Answer Random Questions About myself

Sunday Getting to Know You!

as presented by MannLand5

To play..Grab the questions..copy them onto your blog..answer them..come back here..put your link in and let the Sunday Fun begin!

Let's rock and roll!

The questions..

1. How many piercing's do you have?

2. I love the sound of.....?

3. Favorite city?

4. Colts, Saints, or could care less?

5. Frozen yogurt or ice cream?

6. Favorite appetizer?

7. What item in your closet currently makes you the happiest?

8.Favorite facial moisturizer?

----------

1. How many piercing's do you have?

I have one in each ear. I went with my friend Courtney for her 7th or 8th birthday, and got mine done too. I used to have my left cartilage pierced as well, but it got infected a lot so I let it go.

2. I love the sound of...?

Rain. It's incredibly calming and so rare here in LA. 

3. Favorite city?
of the ones I've been to, probably London. 

4. Colts, Saints, or could care less?
could care less. I didn't even watch the game this year.

5. Frozen yogurt or ice cream?

froyo. I've embraced it. Pinkberry is my favorite, but Studio Yogurt is pretty awesome too

6. Favorite appetizer?

Hmm... hummus or classic brie and crackers

7. What item in your closet currently makes you the happiest?

dark Gap skinnies maybe?  

8. Favorite facial moisturizer?

I usually just use Ponds Dry Skin Cream

That's it. Head over to MannLand5 every Sunday for new questions!

Boom Boom Clap, Boom de Clap de Clap

The summer before I started my senior year of college, I'd just gotten back from a study abroad and was taking summer classes to pick up an extra few credits and have the excuse to live in Wilmington for the summer. I lived in one of the freshman dorms, in a double room by myself, and every morning I got up way too early and went to an English class and the required PED 101 that I'd been putting off as long as possible, hoping they'd change the requirements. No dice. PED 101 is where Hither and I, previously acquainted freshman year by mutual friends, started hanging out and it was the "start of a very beautiful friendship". Or something. One thing she and I had in common (and I guess still do) is our love for cheesy Disney channel shows. My days consisted of class, going to the beach, cooking dinner, and watching Disney channel/Nickelodeon ("Drake and Josh" was on Nick). "Hannah Montana" and "The Suite Life" were my jam. So when they made Hannah Montana: The Movie (Chelsom, Peter 2009) (real clever title there, Disney), I knew that eventually I would see it. 

And so I did. Finally. On Netflix Instant View. 

I watched Miley sing the Hoedown Throwdown and go on a Mrs. Doubtfire-esque date with skinny-tie wearing cutie. I watched her tell everyone the truth and sing "The Climb" before donning that wig again as Hannah. I gotta say, I always like her as Miley better than as Hannah. Hannah's a bit ridiculous, and her songs are incredibly cheesy. (I know, the whole premise is cheesy, but bear with me. I'm 9, remember?). Whereas when she's Miley, I actually like her stuff. I don't know if that's the point, or if I'm "too old" to "get it" and go crazy for the Hannah crap. 10 years ago I probably would have. I did like that Dream Street song, after all. And can I just say, Billy Ray, I liked your song "Achy Breaky Heart". It was my first CD and I made my music teacher/mom's boyfriend play it every week in music class during the free dancing part, but come on. It's kinda creepy and pathetic, you piggybacking on your daughter here. The two of you give off this incestuous vibe, please stop.

So, a rundown for those who don't want to sink 2 hours of your life away. Warning: SPOILERS!!! It's classic Disney. Miley/Hannah is being a brat and Hannah is taking over, so Robby Ray (read: Billy Ray) tricks her and takes her back to Tennessee for her Grandmother's birthday instead of some award show in New York. Miley is pissed, but sees her old horse (Blue Jeans, really?) and the cute farmboy that liked her when she was like 8. So she stays. And lets it slip she "knows" Hannah, so there's this big corporate threat to take over the farmland for a mall, and cute farmboy mentions she knows Hannah, and can Hannah play a benefit show. Oh, snap! Robby Ray is mad because Hannah was supposed to stay out of this trip while Miley got her act together. So Hannah comes, with Lilly (who has way too little screen time) and that Mrs. Doubtfire dinner ensues, where she runs from a dinner with the mayor as Hannah to a date with cute farmboy as Miley. It must be exhausting. So then farmboy finds out and is mad that she lied. And Hannah takes the stage and breaks down in the middle of a song and confesses that she's really Miley. She sings "The Climb," probably my favorite Miley song, and then a little girl tells her they'll keep her secret and to go back to being Hannah. Because Miley can't sing Hannah's songs without the wig? It's the same damn person. Just pretend Hannah dyed her hair brown, and it's pretty much the same. Oh, and there was some reporter trying to find out Hannah's secret the whole movie, but in the end he quits his job to protect her secret, because of the "magic" of Hannah (he has 2 obsessed daughters). 

What is it with Disney movies where it's the same person, but with a simple, basic disguise, people don't recognize them? Hannah, for one, but the wig makes it a bit more believable... but what about Model Behavior? That made-for-tv movie with Justin Timberlake that came out a decade ago? Where there are two girls, and the addition of a ponytail and glasses makes the model look like a nerd, and vise versa. Really?

13. Watch 26 movies I’ve never seen starting with each letter of the Alphabet (6/26)

photos from Google image search

All We Needed was Cornbread and Yams

What started as an idea for my 101/1001, an idea originally rejected by my roommates, has now become a weekly gathering. I came up with the idea as a means to try new recipes, to cook for a few friends once a month or so, and to bring my LA family together. But Roomies both shut it down. Then, a few weeks later, Roomie says she has this great idea: Family Dinner! (wtf?). As an excuse to hang out with her crushes. And roomie doesn't do a lot of cooking, which basically means I do almost all of it. So, once a week, our little dinner party that started small and is now well over 10 people comes over and eats. To be honest, it's gotten a little out of hand. There are too many people, and I can't escape. And the more people we have, the easier we go on meals. Pasta. Tacos. Hamburgers. There are no steaks and meat pies and chicken and veggies, which is what I wanted family dinner for. But 12 people? Too many. Too much work. Especially since Roomie is the one buying. (yea, our system is really effed up).

My favorite family dinner so far? Last week. Southern Style Family Dinner. I can hear my accent coming out just saying it. The drawl. We had "fried" chicken (roomie doesn't like bones), grits, jambalaya, waffles, okra, and Mississippi Mud Pie. It was delicious. And the best part? (Besides my roots comin out?) I only had to make the grits (and the waffles). Easier on me, and I got to eat some of my favorite/comfort foods. Yum. And people actually tried the grits. I know that they're scary... hell, it took me a few years to like them... so I was happy people gave them a shot (and some liked it!). Grits are a weird food if you're not used to them. But there is more than one person I've turned on to them, so that's all I need.

photo from Google search

But seriously. These dinners are starting to stress me out. 

This week is tacos. 

12. Have a “family dinner” once a month (4/32)

Ask me How I Cope With This, I'll Say I'm a Lazy Masochist

The playlist stops. The curtain opens. Girls scream. Cameras flash. Graupner starts the "Ladies and Gentlemen," of "Wing on Fire" and suddenly I'm back at the 24k Lounge. I'm back in the studio with them, hearing this song over and over and over. I'm back at the Mint. I'm back at their place after the Superbowl last year, the first time of many. I'm back to death glares and selling merch. Suddenly, it's like they never left.

photo from official page

100 Monkeys played the Viper Room Friday night. I'd debated going. I hate parking on Sunset, and Banana never tells me anymore if I'm on the list or not (which means I'm not, but whatever). But my desire to see this band, for the first time in MONTHS, won out. I'd missed them, and I needed to know if they still remembered me. (In retrospect, they'd have to be pretty cruel and wrapped up in their egos not to...). And they did. It took them a second, but as soon as they did, their faces lit up a bit and I was enveloped in hugs. 

We went upstairs to the pit, which was generously packed. So much has changed since that first tiny show at 24k Lounge last December. We took up space to the left of the crowd, near the stage and by the booths occupied by the older generation of fangirls, who still freak out when Jay walks by, even though this isn't their first 100 monkeys show. 

When the boys finally take the stage, I'm hit with a rush of nostalgia and pride. The last show I went to was incredibly small, barely any pit formation, and before the release of their album, Grape. This was before their corresponding tour, before NM came out. But NOW. God, they sounded SO MUCH BETTER. They've come so far in the past year, it's astounding. The crowd was singing along to a good majority of the lyrics... and like, audibly! And I will always say they're a band to see live, because their album doesn't match up to the raw energy that drives them onstage. 

Jay and Jared, taken with my bb

They played a lot of old stuff, a lot of the songs I've heard hundreds of times, like "Wasteland Too," "Ugly Girl," "Smoke," and "Orson Brawl." These are songs I used to hear every week. I heard some of them at the first show, transformed and improved by miles since then. "Orson Brawl," especially. This was a song Banana, GF, and I used to create moshpits during... Pushing, dancing, all around loss of balance. It was our attempt to get people to stop taking pictures and let loose. To start dancing. So Friday night, I got lost in the song again, swishing my hair around and holding on to the table near me so I didn't fall onto the snap-happy girls next to me. Because Banana was taking a much-needed break from Banana-ing, so there was no one to inspire the dancing. So there wasn't any. Except me and Roomie. These girls are too wrapped up in Jay to enjoy the music. To get lost in it. Who cares if he sees you? Who cares what anyone else thinks? It's a show, not a viewing. Let loose and get over it. 

God, I'd missed this band. (and making fun of the fangirls is always a bonus). 

If you ever get a chance, go check out a live show. The music is a little different... I like to say it's a combination of Tom Waits, The Kinks, and Jim Morrison... but maybe that's just me, and I am a bit biased. But I'll guarantee it's like nothing that's on the radio now. 

Seeing them, it made me just a little bit happier, and was definitely something I needed.

2. Go to 15 shows/concerts (3/15) (100 monkeys)