I have been without a computer for a couple of weeks, so i thought i'd check my emails while I am here at grandmas house! I can't believe how many concerned emails i had from people wondering if i am alright! Thank You for caring and for being concerned!!! No, I didn't lose the baby... we are both doing great! HE is finally moving and squirming like he should be! Yes, another little blue eyed boy (i am just guessing on the blue eyed part, but I am pretty sure i am right!) ;) Emily was not so thrilled by the fact that he indeed had his boy parts all in tact, but I think she has come around to love him anyway!
Hopefully our computer will be up and running again in a day or so and I will share some pictures!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
makes him happy.
The doc says to pull the bottle....
i just can't yet.
you try to take away his beloved "baba" and see what happens.
I have tried, but those baby blues get me everytime....
i cave.
i don't care if he is "too old" he is still my little bubba.
i just can't yet.
you try to take away his beloved "baba" and see what happens.
I have tried, but those baby blues get me everytime....
i cave.
i don't care if he is "too old" he is still my little bubba.
Monday, January 3, 2011
grateful today.
So today I had my routine 17 week checkup. I have been saying to Paul for a few days that i am getting worried cause i haven't felt much movement, if any at all. I just figured i just must be remembering wrong with my other kiddos. Well, i told my new doctor (i sooo miss my old one) about my concern and he just kinda blew it off as he went on telling me about his trips he just got back from. He is telling me this as he is trying to find a heartbeat...
i try to pretend i care about what he is yakking about, but really, i am noticing that he isn't picking up a heartbeat. This is my 5th time - i know what is normal and what isn't. I bluntly cut him off and asked, "why aren't we finding a heartbeat?" He shushed up for a what seemed like forever and kept trying and trying. He said, "There is no heartbeat. Have you felt any movement lately?" DUHHHH, i just told you that I haven't!!!! My heart began to pound out of my chest, i wanted to throw up. I was alone, paul had to work, i knew something was wrong, why didn't i bring him along?
I asked him to try one more time and try more on my left side (cause that's where i used to feel the most movement) He tried again. He told me i needed to calm down cause my heartbeat was over powering. He took my pulse...told me to relax (yeah right.)
Just as we had both about given up, we both heard a little heartbeat.
I have never been so grateful to hear such a beautiful little noise.
I have many friends who have miscarried and have had still born babies. My heart has always ached for each and everyone of them. I have always felt so blessed that this is one tragedy that i have never had to live through. Even though my heart broke for only a mere 6 minutes or so...it was enough time for me to feel a teensy bit of what it must have felt like for all my friends who have been through such a hard experience.
I will NOT complain about having this 5th little one join our family ever again. I know it threw me off guard at first, but after almost losing it today, and knowing how heartbroken i felt, i know it is meant to be. today i am grateful.
i try to pretend i care about what he is yakking about, but really, i am noticing that he isn't picking up a heartbeat. This is my 5th time - i know what is normal and what isn't. I bluntly cut him off and asked, "why aren't we finding a heartbeat?" He shushed up for a what seemed like forever and kept trying and trying. He said, "There is no heartbeat. Have you felt any movement lately?" DUHHHH, i just told you that I haven't!!!! My heart began to pound out of my chest, i wanted to throw up. I was alone, paul had to work, i knew something was wrong, why didn't i bring him along?
I asked him to try one more time and try more on my left side (cause that's where i used to feel the most movement) He tried again. He told me i needed to calm down cause my heartbeat was over powering. He took my pulse...told me to relax (yeah right.)
Just as we had both about given up, we both heard a little heartbeat.
I have never been so grateful to hear such a beautiful little noise.
I have many friends who have miscarried and have had still born babies. My heart has always ached for each and everyone of them. I have always felt so blessed that this is one tragedy that i have never had to live through. Even though my heart broke for only a mere 6 minutes or so...it was enough time for me to feel a teensy bit of what it must have felt like for all my friends who have been through such a hard experience.
I will NOT complain about having this 5th little one join our family ever again. I know it threw me off guard at first, but after almost losing it today, and knowing how heartbroken i felt, i know it is meant to be. today i am grateful.
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