Cancerous Foreskin

You don't need to actually be a child, just have the mind of a child.

Officially The

Clean-cut teeny boppers hearkening back to the 80s, Officially The presents upbeat ballads along the themes of boy-meets-girl, boy-falls-for-girl, boy-freaks-out. Some songs extol the virtue of best friends, lollipops, and shoes with wheels built into the soles, one of their few concessions to the modern era. Yuppie style is religiously adhered to in music videos and concert tours. Band members are replaced as soon as they appear to have mostly completed puberty.

Big Unusual Snot

The submissions have been pouring in! Today's band name comes from K's Mumbo Jumbo. Thanks for your idea! Keep 'em coming!
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Big Unusual Snot is a largely forgettable pop punk group comprised of four eighth graders. All are friends with founder, Taylor Hersh, aged 14, of Kenosha, Wisconsin. Taylor's girlfriend, Amanda "Cutter" Armstrong, tries her best to sing backing vocals but she is inevitably drowned out by the distortion produced by the large amplifier that guitarist Josh Hammersmith got for Christmas. The size of Hammersmith's amp in no way is indicative of his skill at the instrument. Each group member has his or her own unique sense of rhythm, which is to say that staying on beat is a major challenge.

Group members plan their future in study hall before second period language arts. They rehearse on Saturday afternoons in a storage shed rented by Taylor's uncle. Big Unusual Snot has dreams of fame, which will have to be put on hold until it learns more then two original songs. Rehearsals inevitably end in abrupt fashion when the group short-circuits the storage facility's electrical power.