I know they will grow up and I will miss these days. I know these are priceless years. I know, I do. I do not mean to discount how blessed and truly bliss life is. I love them, I really do. However, seeing each day for what it really is keeps me grounded. It increases my sympathy towards others. I'm sorry to say that I can not look through rose colored glasses everyday.
Let me be honest, each day with 5 small children is really hard. The most overwhelming aspect of this whole motherhood thing is trying to keep an organize and tidy house. You know what's funny? I get the most frustrated on days when I am actually trying, really trying to keep my house in tact. The days when I have been working hours organize toys, mopping, cleaning behind the toilet, washing walls, preparing dinner, folding laundry...those are the days when I feel like my house looks like a wreck! It's crazy, haven't I been cleaning all day?
Today was one of those days. I swear I cleaned the bathroom three times today (plus the twins had 2 baths). Just now I walked past and it smelled like pee, 2 wet towels on the floor, a toilet paper unrolled and toothpaste on the counter. That was one round of having the kids brush their teeth!
You are probably thinking, "Cyndi, you have a 7 year old and a 6 year old. They can help you." Yes, you are right. They can and they do but it seems so minuscule. Good gravy, it is so much work getting your kids to work. It drains me. This is why I read parenting books....because I am not very efficient at managing my household. Lately, all those parenting books (well, now I just read articles) have been stressing me out.
I know I am in survival mode.
I remember when Eden was a baby and I struggled to keep the house tidy. One tiny little baby just sitting there doing nothing. What was my problem?! I have come a long ways though.
I miss being on vacation and not having to worry about if my ceiling fan is dusted.
Thanks. I feel better now.
