Aren't you getting a bit old for this, Aberdeen?

Where have all the bees gone?  Don't blame the miserable summer, they're all buzzing around in various people's bonnets in the aftermath of a serious uppercut landed in the continuing bout between supporters of retaining UTG and proponents of the CGP (and I don't believe for one minute that this bruising, attritional, weary war of words and dubious deeds is over yet).

I always said that I was against CGP.  I always said that the sums didn't add up for me.  However, once the referendum went through and my side lost, I shut the hell up about it.  So now things have swung back to my way of thinking, am I happy?  Not really.  I always had a suspicion that everyone in Aberdeen basically despises anyone they don't know. The only result we're left with post referendum is an already divided populous which has been carved almost right down the middle thanks to a merely mathematical (and as it turns out, pointless) majority.  You might as well start making up sandbags.  This isn't over.  This is just beginning.  Civil war in Aberdeen, except conducted by a bunch of Internet hard nuts and keyboard warriors.  Battle has already resumed and they didn't even have the courtesy to wait until I get some popcorn!  Now that's just rude.

Do I think that democracy has been damaged?  Hardly - it's broken by design.

Do I think that all the Internet based "debate" is damaging to Aberdeen?  Most definitely.  When I read some of the "debate" that is ongoing on Facebook or Twitter, all it boils down to for me is this:

crowd arguing

This is a pretty good approximation of what I imagine you would all sound like if we put you all in the Beach Ballroom and asked you to have a "debate".  Come on, some of you can't even spell your insults correctly.  Quantity of Facebook "likes" being used as an analogy for testicle size and the moral right to... tell people how it should be?  Reports of dissenting views being deleted because they don't tally up with the prevailing way of thinking on a particular page?  Pathetic.

To all those who engage in this tiresome charade - you all disgust me with your petty, childish, bitter behaviour.  We're going nowhere, fast, and you aren't helping one iota.

Sound engineers - will you please listen?

I've just had the dubious pleasure of listening back to our performance at Belladrum.  It's... fast.  I don't know if we were keyed up because of the event itself, or the technical difficulties that delayed our start by 10 mins (which is a lot when you've only got a 45min slot), but we're playing like we're on speed or something, and this is unusual because we're not Motörhead.

But the one thing that is annoying me is the fact that the singer has asked for more vocals in the monitors on at least 4 occasions (gave up counting after that, no wait, I think I heard a fifth).  It is clear that nothing's been done - Andy's more shouting than singing and that's because he can't hear himself.  Daryl's harmonica is a bit wayward at times because he can't hear what he's doing.  That's a big problem when you're responsible for the tuning/intonation of your instrument (that includes voice).  It's not so much of a problem for me, playing fretted electric bass.  I have a tuner on the floor and I keep my basses set up properly (intonation compensation at the bridge etc.) so as long as my open strings are in tune then when I stop the string at the correct place, I get the correct note.  I can play the fretted bass visually/by feel and it'll sound OK, but it won't be as tight as it could be as instead of "being one with the rest of the band" (which comprises a combination of muscle memory through practice and being able to hear everyone else) you're either anticipating (which can make you early if you get it wrong) or reacting (which by definition makes you late).  And I don't have to bloody well like it - in fact I hate the feeling of playing in a bubble, where you're playing the bass and have no idea if you're even contributing to the proceedings (hoping to hell that the front of house sound is better than this).

Sound engineers, can you please explain to me (like I'm a four year old - as I have no comprehension of what you do and no right to tell you what to do) why it is that some of you are seemingly unwilling (or unable) to give us decent sound on stage?  We are not moaning for the sake of it, not giving us decent sound on stage is like asking us to gut fish with a butter knife.  You'll have your fish, but it won't be pretty.  All we're asking for is to have a decent monitoring on stage so that we can do our jobs properly.  We are not professionals, but we take our hobby seriously and want to perform at our best for the good people who come out to see us, dance and generate money for the venues that employ you in order that they continue to do this.  If you hamper our performance because we can't hear what we're doing, punters will stay away, and it's as much in your interests as ours to keep bums on seats and feet on dancefloors.

Freedom of speech?

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-17858257

This news item made me think, along with the other stuff, like people being pulled up for clearly jokey threats to blow up airports about how our freedom of speech is being eroded.  Now it's not nice to wish harm on people, and advocating that someone be shot is a bit harsh.  But surely all it requires is a time out, a calm down, and an apology?  Who is actually going to shoot someone on the vague urgings of a tweet?  Would a bomber say "I'm going to blow up an airport" before they go and do it?  Preposterous.

Perhaps I should be arrested too.  I have a confession to make.  

The year was 1994, it was summer and the World Cup was in full swing.  Beer was consumed and football was watched.  The USA were playing the fancied Columbia in the first round.  I vaguely remember it being an exciting match and I can still remember the feeling of utter disbelief when the unfortunate Andrés Escobar scored an own goal a striker would have been proud of in his attempt to cut out a USA cross.

I remember this moment like it was yesterday.  A friend and I stood up simultaneously, pointed at the telly and in unison proclaimed "THAT BLOKE SHOULD BE SHOT!"

Anyone with a passing interest in international football probably knows what happened next.  For those of you who haven't figured out where I'm going with this see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andr%C3%A9s_Escobar - basically he went home and a week later he was shot dead outside a nightclub.

What I did is exactly the same as what has been happening in all this draconian smacking down of off-the-cuff remarks on social networking on the Internet. You had better come down and arrest me, for I have been a very naughty boy.  Even worse, the "harm" that I wished on someone actually came true.  Clearly that makes me prime suspect.

Or maybe some sense could be seen.  It's very simple - either you arrest and charge all the 4000+ people who repeated Paul Chambers' chilling threat on Robin Hood Airport, or you let him off.  He made an off-the-cuff remark for which he has apologised.  Case closed.

Oh, and sorry Andrés, I never actually wanted you to be actually shot, like with a real gun.

Why I am turning my back on Formula One

I've taken the decision to completely boycott Formula One this season (and all the subsequent seasons that the entire season is not available free to air in its entirety) and considering that F1 is a sport I have followed since I was a kid it's not one I've taken lightly.  I am so angry that the BBC sold out - years ahead of the end of the current contract.

The coverage was getting good again, after the ITV nonsense (ad breaks in Formula One?  Gadzooks!) and having had a couple of seasons of a changing of the guard at the top of the pecking order the racing was quite compelling at times.  The BBC team were getting into their stride (the occasionally cringeworthy exchanges between David Coulthard and Eddie Jordan notwithstanding) and things were coming together nicely.  The on screen info was good.  The driver tracker was a revelation (albeit a few seconds behind what was actually happening).  All these things I will miss.

However, I object most strenuously to my TV license being devalued.  I already pay to watch television in this country.  I refuse to pay more to another company in order to watch the stuff I used to be able to watch in the monthly amount I already allocate to watching television.  I am incensed by this cheapening of the quality of the BBC's output.

Half a season of total weekend coverage is worse than none at all.  I'd rather the BBC had just sold out completely rather than present me with their half baked, half arsed, completely ineffectual half-way house offering, for which no doubt they expect me to be grateful.  Well, I'm not.  I am baffled, disappointed, confused and a little upset, in case you hadn't already noticed.

I've been mulling this over ever since the fateful announcement.  Despite the BBC being a public service it seems that our opinions as licence payers have been completely ignored, nay not even asked for.  There was no vote, there was no seeking of points of view on the matter.  This is what we're doing whether you like it or not, so suck it up, peasants.

I don't suppose that my statistically irrelevant teeny tiny blip on the viewing figures will make much difference, but the various F1 powers-that-be have seriously overestimated my desire to pay extra money to receive the same thing.

In summary: up yours, BBC.  Up yours, Sky.  Up yours, Bernie.  Up yours, F1.