Slog It Blog It, Tragic Tuesday!

We soon have to build an Ark over here, My park is The Somme and I am in danger of getting Trench Paw.

Everywhere is muddy and wet. If that wasn't bad enough, imagine my horror when I saw this.........

Yes Puddles your Pea-Can Tree Killer has made across the pond.

He has cut down all my lovely tree.

Even my favourite,

Right before my eyes hacking away at my wood.

What will I do? What will I climb?

Worse I ponder, where will the SQUIRRELS go?

I walk away lonely and dejected.

But at least I found some stinky goodness to roll in. Woe is me, my heart is broken.

On tragic Tuesday have a terrific day all.

Puddles Can Be Found Here Pea-Can-less!

Slog It Blog It, Garden Gridlock!

It’s been bubbling away like a foul smelling squirrel stew for a few weeks now and finally I can take it no more. The feud over the garden furniture has finally boiled over like a pot of festering gizzards. Yes I finally I twigged that the vendetta against my very own person has gone too far. My psycho servant  assistant has removed my beloved sunbathing table. Yes the very table where I ponder the important issues of life, like did Shergar end up as dog food and was it Lord Lucan that done it, is no more? The lightbulb above my head is dimming as I type.  Like Sherlock Bones I have searched high and low for a way to use the new set but alas I have failed. Woe is me where will I go to.........?????

I suffer in silence. I suffer greatly in silence. It is no longer fit for purpose. Slated chairs I can't jump on, a small table not big enough for me. Big sigh. See ....life is very cruel. Alas someone little is happy.

Have a fabulous Friday all.

Lark in The Park, Park Day 2!

A Lark In The Park!

So why chase a Squirrel? There's a danger you know,

You can't just chase one, for the craving will grow.

There's no doubt they're addictive, wherein lies the danger,

But you have to watch out, don’t get caught by the Ranger.

So how about another? Would I really dare?

They're really quite tricky to chase, I do swear.

With quiet paws, softly into the woods I tread,

And then it’s off at top speed for a chase, enough said.

If only I could catch one and put in on a plate,

I’d have it for supper and that would be great.

Between two pieces of bread all fresh and crusty,

But alas they get away I must be getting rusty.

How I suffer, but what do you care?

You could at least help there is plenty spare.

So why not come and join me there is plenty of room,

And together we can go hunting and spell the squirrels doom.

So each day to the park I go with squirrels on my mind,

What a hard life I have with this daily grind.

Each one is so special, I remember each chase so well,

I think I’ll put my nose down and see what I can smell.

So why chase a Squirrel? There's a danger you know,

You can't just chase one, for the craving will grow.

There's no doubt they're addictive, wherein lies the danger,

But to stop chasing them, I can think would be stranger.

Today we join Gizmo here and Finns' here Park Day Bingo!

Spot A Squirrel. Done!

Find A Person Flying A Kite. Done!

Park Bench Free Space. Done!

Like Gizmo On Fuzzbark. Done!

Visit Your Nearest Body Of Water. Done!

Happy Park Day Everyone!

Frankie Furter  has kindly organised a way to help the people of Moore. All the details are on their blog so please pop over and read all about what you can do to help and why not make a new friend at the same time if you do not know the pawsome Frankie.

Bark From The Park, It's Park Day!

Wow Park Day is here already and to celebrate we bring you The Bakers Doggy Vending Machine. We joined in when Bakers were filming on our park last week.

Molly The Bakers Dog figuring out the vending machine.

A tug of the rope toy released the ball.

Then a bit of a chase for the ball. Errr that was chase guys, someone shout squirrel.

Drop it in the slot and out comes a prize. Here is a short video of the day in my park with my park friends.

By Fatsands Productions!

And where was I? Yep you guessed it chasing squiggles. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do. I did get some tasty Bakers though. But guess what? I decided to go off and sneak behind a tree and eat grass. Now those of you who remember this will know that I am not allowed to eat grass.

That was the time I was sick on the way home and the Frenchy children walked right into it. Peeps was so embarrassed she practically ran home.

So on the way home guess what I did? Cue reenactment...........

Yep I scored a hole in one. Bingo! Several hours later once my servant had calmed down I did get my Barkers and boy was it good. The moral of this story is don't get caught.

Do you think you could figure out how to get the treats from the vending machine? 

Happy International Park Day everyone. 

A Lark In The Park, I Have A Confession!

Many of you have asked me if I this photograph is real and do I really do climb trees? Well I have a confession to make. My squirrel obsession has indeed landed me trouble many a time but none so much as the day I climbed the tree. 

So here is the story behind the photograph.

During a lull in the weather went out on the park and patrolled the squirrel highway, whilst keeping a beady eye out for coppers. Chased a squirrel up an old knobbly tree and then I decided to climb on up after it. The little beggar would not stop, so higher and higher I went. I chased after it until it leapt onto a branch of the tree next door and left me stranded.  Lay down on the branch ,and was rather taken with the bird’s eye view I had of my patch. I realised how lucky I was, as it is quite a stunning vista.

     
My thoughts were interrupted by a violent shaking of a branch, and a lot of screeching from my human. Ignoring the situation, I tried to spy on the people sitting at the café, to see if anybody had dropped any scraps I could hoover up on the way home. To my astonishment a crowd had gathered under the tree and there was much discussion about climbing, firemen and paramedics. The humans started trying to get me to jump, but I was too busy watching the group gourmandising on salami and mozzarella Panini with extra chips.

      
I didn’t notice the man climbing onto the branch, until I felt the branch starting to bow dangerously. I tried to point out that the branch would only hold the weight of a skeletal specimen such as myself, but to no avail. The branch had bowed to just above my humans head, when I felt a tug at my collar, and legs flaying fell into the arms of my human.  There was a lot of clapping and cheering so ran away to hide in the copse by the football field. 

Suffering from severe mental anguish, so did a detour via the café, where my spirits were lifted by the sight of little people having lunch. Little people always drop goodies so managed to forage around and consume half a kitkat, two quavers and several chips. Bit disappointed, as there was no sign of salami and mozzarella Panini.

Extract from The squirrel Diaries , The Trials & Tribulations of Molly The Wally.

 

Now you know why this happens........

Don’t forget tomorrow is Park Day hosted by Gizmo here. and Finn here pop over to see details.  We will be joining in with a special event we had on our park last week. 

Slog It Blog It, Bark It's Park Wars!

We British and the Americans are quarreling over territory again? This time over who has the worlds’ smallest park. One, in Portland, Ore, (essentially a concrete planter) is in the Guinness Book of World Records as the smallest. But 5,000 miles away, here in England we claim to have the smallest park. We are disputing whether Portlands’ is a park at all? Portland responded with 'our park has leprechauns. Does yours?' Leprechauns? Yes, that is right. The friendly feud has helped unearth the curious story of a Portland quest to get the park declared as the smallest. The gauntlet was thrown down when we stated it was just glorified flower pot. We understand the definition of a park to be a fenced area used for recreation purposes. Portlanders have come to the defense of their Lilliputian park. Someone put a toy soldier with a bazooka in the vegetation as well as a defensive perimeter. The Americans have stated that they a pretty good track record when it comes to taking on the Brits. They're still smarting over that whole American Revolution thing,' said Mark Ross, spokesman for Portland Parks & Recreation. However there is talk of a North Atlantic alliance. A sister park relationship between the two. At least we can fit a few squirrels in our park. Don’t forget Friday 26^th is Park Day hosted by Gizmo here. and Finn here pop over to see details. 

Portland's claim to the fame as its named by the Guinness Book of World Records as the smallest park.
Prince's Park in Staffordshire, England.

Slog It Blog It, Suburbia Has Gone To Pot!

Old couple caught growing pot by police.

An elderly couple have been busted by the police for growing cannabis after unknowingly buying the plant from a car boot sale. The police seized the bush as part of a drugs bust at the couple's home in Bedford on Friday. They said it was the biggest shrub they had seen to date. That was one hell of a weed the green thumbed oldsters managed to cultivate! The couple was shocked to find that their carefully tended shrub was in fact a gigantic cannabis plant. The couple had taken the pot plant home and given it pride of place in their garden. The shrub bloomed into an enormous plant, along the wooden fence. Wonder who grassed them up or was it planted on them? The police then posted pictures of the plant on twitter.  We can just see the tweet, ‘Twit grows hash which the police then trash. They were rooting out pot heads’. A police spokesman said the unnamed embarrassed couple had asked them to remove the picture from the site. It is not known whether the hapless pair will be charged for any drug related offences. Pity they didn’t sell it as it would give a whole new meaning to the words ‘Hedge Fund’. Far out man! 

Don't forget to check out the Spooky Gallery today! To be spookified just leave a spooky comment at Mollie & Alfies'!

Dog House Blog, Dirty Digging!

Moles take over the garden after the worst Summer this decade.

First we had the invasion of the slugs and snails, quickly followed by the assault of the moths and now British gardeners are bracing themselves for more trouble down at the allotment. After the wettest summer in a century it is the turn of the moles. A surge in the hard working diggers is threatening to destroy thousands of lawns up and down the country. Golf courses, parks and farmers' fields are being ravaged, according to experts.  The summer rain has created perfect breeding conditions and males have found they could easily dig tunnels to find mates with the ground being so soft. Holy Moley we are overrun with vermin and it is dis-mole how much damage they can do. They are right pain in the grass! Legendary remedies for getting rid of moles include blowing wind down their tunnels, pouring paraffin into their burrows and even doing special dances on the turf above their heads to drive them away.  How do you stop moles digging up your garden? Hide the spades or why not try a Mole-otov cocktail?

A family of moles had been hibernating all winter. One beautiful spring morning, they woke up. The father mole stuck his head out of the hole and looked around. "Mother Mole!" He called back down the hole. "Come up here! I smell honey, fresh made honey!" The mother mole ran up and squeezed in next to him. "That's not honey, that's maple syrup! I smell maple syrup!" The baby mole, still down in the hole, was sulking. "I can't smell anything down here but mol-asses!"

Do you have critters that terrorize your territories?

Bark From The Park, When the sun comes out, so do the neighbours!

Noisy neighbours in the garden is one of our pet hates.

After the endless months of rain we may now get a glimpse of sun and maybe a late summer here in good old Blighty. However when the sun comes out, the problem of noise raises its ugly head. The craze for back garden hot tubs now ranks among the top 10 causes of garden rage says an annual gardeners' survey. Noise from televisions and radios, late-night parties and children are the next top three. These are followed by power tools, house alarms, barbecue smoke and bright security lights. Bizarrely last come the smell of fabric conditioner and musical instruments. No mention at all of us furry friends then? My human sadly is the noisy one in our garden. The last incident happened only a few weeks ago. Awaking early and bored I ventured downstairs several times and took some of my prize tennis ball collection to bed for a bit of a chew. On awaking my human in a fit of pique threw the balls, all eight of them out of the window into the garden. Sometime later I sprang into action for a bit of a cat attack. My human ran out into the garden to unfortunately interfere, yet again. Sadly the slip on a tennis ball resulted in one grazed knee, two bruised elbows and some high pitched shrieking. The poor neighbours didn’t know what had happened. The moral of this story is humans should put all toys away safely, including those of mine, as that is one of their few uses. Oh well if you really don’t like any noise at all you can always go and live next door to a cemetery! What annoys you in your garden?

Hog Blog, Fear The Beer!

Slugs invade the garden. Fear the beer.

After the drought and then Britain's damp spring comes the dreaded plague of slugs ready to wreak havoc in our gardens. More a thorny issue than a slimy one! It reminds me of the time my human put out a tub of ‘Bitter Beer’ as a slug trap. Whilst ferreting around in the flower bed I came across this concoction and decided to try it. I have to say it was rather nice and being a bit thirsty I lapped up the whole lot. After a little light gardening, I realised that my coordination was somewhat impaired and even my barks were slurred. Tried to go indoors but legs went in all directions and the furniture kept bumping into me. Then every time I tried to jump up onto the sofa some invisible hand moved it, sending me crashing to the floor. All this activity started to make me queasy and suddenly I was overcome with the urge to be sick and desperately looked around for a suitable receptacle. Enough said, feeling somewhat better decided to go sleep on the floor by the sofa. The shoes went in the bin, I had to be carried to the vet, the bill was eye watering and I had the best night sleep ever. The slug tub was never seen again.

The Park, Thoughts from Squiggles HQ!

How to prevent squirrels feeding on bird food in your garden.

Tower Hamlets has come top of a table of a national survey of places infested with rats, mice, cockroaches, squirrels and other pests. I noticed with great satisfaction that ‘Suburbia’ did not feature in the top ten list, which means my on-going dedication to eradicating all vermin on my patch, is going splendidly well.  Exterminating pests requires dedication and devotion to the job and one must be prepared to go out in all weathers. My human once thought they could do a better job and hung the bird feeder from the washing line. On either side of this was placed several empty 2litre plastic bottles. The theory was that the squirrels would slip off the bottles when trying to get to the bird food. That night I ran outside to chase the fox, followed closely by my annoyed human. Suddenly a loud smack was followed by a high pitch cry and a good display of potty mouth. The bruised eye didn’t last too long but the bottles were removed the next day. The moral of this story, is leave it to the experts!

Another Blog From The Log, The Fox Is Back!

the smell of ‘Monsieur Renard’ hangs heavy.

Spring is the air and I return to my fox problem. The ginger one continues to infiltrate my well secured perimeters and the smell of ‘Monsieur Renard’ hangs heavy in the air alongside that of mothballs. My garden is no longer my own and have searched the web for a deterrent and lion dung seems to be highly recommended. Unfortunately unable to locate a lion to rent so have requested urgent help of ‘The Beagle Society’.  In the meantime have placed ‘Trespassers Will Be Prosecuted’ notices all over the garden. Hope’ Monsieur Renard’ can read English!

More Dog Blog, Mr Fox The Rascal!

Mr Fox is a rascal & The Mothballs.

That flea infested vile ginger scoundrel continues to run amok in the garden destroying my well tended flower beds and getting me into trouble as well.  Therefore have taken retaliatory tactics in hopes of getting rid of this vile reprobate.  I have strategically placed moth balls (an old farmers trick) around the garden. Can’t venture out to play as the grounds stink to high heaven. Hope my human takes me out for a walk as desperately crossing my legs. Why is suburbia so full of vermin?

Dog Blog The Fox Is Back!

An Intruder on the premises the fox is back. 

Finished my moist meaty chunks in gravy this morning and fired up the lap top to continue writing my memoirs when I was disturbed by a ruckus in the garden. To my dismay I discovered that half the soil from the back flower bed lay merrily scattered around the patio area. Dived for cover and hid behind the sofa for some time until I felt it safe to venture into the kitchen again. Not so lucky was I! Blamed for doing some extra nocturnal landscaping. I suspect we have an intruder on the premises. The smell of fox is in the air. Planning major strike back!!!!!