I cannot reach you

It's funny how at one point, you've loved someone more than words could ever say. And you can never say it to them anymore. It sucks how after all these whiles then only you noticed you've been taking them for granted. Things have gone too comfortable that you thought nothing is suppose to be done to express it.

Worse is when they're just right next to you all the time but you're unable to reach them anymore.
And when that happened you know all you can do is look at them. Hoping they would notice this loneliness in your eyes that longs for attention.

At this point it was not funny anymore. It's heartbreaking.

I wonder if I've stopped trying.

Compilation

 

Case file 1

You used to listen to me. Back then. Way back before you start telling stories of your own. I listened to you. But I think I've lost you now.

You're expressing yourself knowing people still love you for who you are.

Me? I don't express much for I don't want them to leave for seeing the sides of me they don't know.

Case file 2

If you don't wanna walk beside me then fine. Walk behind me. Because I walk very fast.

I leaned on you too much. Depended on you too much. Though actually I'm better off alone. You've turned into a burden now.

Knowing you're there, the reason why I let my guard down. Because I know if I cry, you'd offer your shoulder and you'd wipe my tears.

I'm too naive to believe that you'll always be there for me. When apparently you're just like everybody else, you can't really be there.

So I've figured out. You're the reason why I've turned fragile. I'm less independent. So I've decided to remove you from my life.

Don't worry. We're no enemies. Just that, I won't find you that often anymore, won't tell much anymore, won't come to you crying anymore.

I won't be the stone-heart one. Just that I'm doing things on my own. We should be ok though. Let's exchange smiles once in a while.

Case file 3

And tell me why I got personal. I thought I'm over you.

It's been 2 months now. Yea. I do track down the calendar once in a while.

Just so you know. I'll wait. I'll wait. But you won't know certainly.

Of the same reason. I can smile. I can be sad. But of different times and places.

I don't know what should I do with you. I don't know what to do with myself either.

The emotion stays. Apparently. Yea. Got suppressed one time. Might recurrent in another.

Case file 4

I'm detaching myself from the world. Your world. Will keep you guys inside the glass room. Don't worry, I'll keep watching from the outside.

Time is all i need. Then I'll be well. I'll be fine. I need time to digest things, to interpret. To decide what's good for me & what's not.

I appreciate all your effort. But I need time for myself too. That's how it always has been. An outsider is just like an invader.

You claimed those as fun and excitement while I prefer to curl into a ball on bed. I don't mind even if I missed your 'so-called' fun.

Have fun is essential, serious is important too. Be moderate. Not too serious, but not too reckless and not too carefree as well.

Being serious in doing things doesn't necessary mean aiming for perfection. It's all about determination.

Tired of squeezing myself between you people. It's time for me to entertain time of my own. It's easier for me to shine.

Don't try to be concern bout me, and asking me things out of being casual. You wouldn't stay anyway. So don't expect me to be that bold.

Case file 5

Being different because you're too ego to mix around with typical people? Nah I don't read minds, just guessing.

Seems like it's you who started the war between our atmospheres. Me? I never did really touch you physically not even emotionally.

That so-called (your) 'war' was never my intention. My pride, I hold on to not hating you and keeping a safe distance away from you.

And btw in case you're wondering, the safe distance is because I don't wanna keep intact in hatred vibe you emitted. Because I don't wanna get ugly.

I'm staying firm; I'm holding on to my pride that is to not hate you or other people unless they're disgracing Allah and Rasulullah (pbuh).

Case file 6

Truth is. I can see those who've hold on for so long. Those who've tried hard to be strong. Nope. I don't read minds. Because I am too.

Want me to be truth? Act truth? Tell truth? First question yourself whether you're able to handle it.

There are things that i don't wanna talk about. But i do think about it a lot.

I don't need many of the laughter, because I can't keep up. I'm new around here, if sharing laughter is still awkward, smile is enough.

So when I'm serious, that's not because I'm a perfectionist. But I just wanna do things properly so there would be no regret after.

*source: my twitter account*

long-lost brother?

You must have came across this youtube sensational artist Sam Tsui. Collaborating with his best childhood buddy Kurt Schneider, and made an explosive ever youtube star since 2008 or so (and i just figured out how awesome they are recently).

Anyway it's not Sam that i tried to highlight here and neither do Kurt, you could check out their awesomeness on youtube for yourself.

But what matters to me at the moment is that somehow, no matter how i tried to look at it, from which ever angle i tried to approach it, i personally think this Sam guy resembles someone.

Someone from my past. Well a former crush of mine if you wonder.

Haruma Miura!

Anyone? What do you think?

It has been a while

I missed him, for he hasn’t appeared before my eyes for quite a while.

He was there, in fact he was always there. But I only noticed him during Tamhidi. Someone kinda ‘introduced’ him to me. And I became head over heels in love with him ever since!

oh, anyways~

It was during Tamhidi that I broke my shell of ‘I don’t wanna watch any dramas other than English’; when a friend introduced me Hanakimi. And then was when I noticed Mizushima Hiro (the one who played Nanba senpai).

I love those eye. it's so......intense!

more intense eyes!

He’s such an awesome actor! I did follow his drama afterwards and I fell for him over again watching all his roles;

Absolute Boyfriend
Mei-chan no Shitsuji
Mr. Brain
Tokyo Dogs

I remember Tokyo Dogs was his last drama I watched and I wonder, why until last year (2010) he hasn’t came out with any new roles (Tokyo Dogs was aired in 2009). C’mon, he’s young and good looking and above all, he’s talented (it’s just impossible any producer would overlook that).

But then, early this year was when I figured out Mizushima Hiro has officially quit his acting and modeling career to pursue in writing and literature.

What?! So he has became a full time writer now. No wonder he hasn’t appeared in any dramas anymore! That’s so heart breaking (T_T) because Hiro is one of my favorite actors.

I fell for him right after watching Hanakimi, and then was told by the same friend who introduced me Hanakimi that he’s married. Gosh! He’s 25, young and talented and good looking and…. Married?! Fine! So who cares if he’s married, I still adore his acting and all. And these happened 3 years ago. Btw I started listening to Japanese songs since 2 years ago.

Approximately a year ago, by accident I just got to know that Mizushima Hiro’s wife is Ayaka! Ayaka, one of my favorite singers!

Oh dear, I’ve been adoring both Ayaka and Hiro in parallel without knowing they were married to each other! *shame*

So I went to Google more about them.

These 2 were married in 2009 (after 6 months seeing each other); Mizushima Hiro (24) and Ayaka (21) announced their marriage during a press conference. Fans were shocked with the sudden news and they explained why the decision was so prompt.

Ayaka was diagnosed with Grave’s disease and her condition gradually worsens. Aware of this, Hiro decided to propose to Ayaka so that he can take care of her. He recited one line

‘I will protect her’
*serious macam drama*

Oh my, being that young with a mature decision; that’s my Hiro *whoops, he’s married*
Hiro also claimed, Ayaka is the first woman who made him believe marriage as the extension of courtship, (and shyly Ayaka confessed the same)

at the press conference

Ayaka on the other hand declared that she’s taking sabbatical leave after announcing their marriage, so that she can focus on the treatment and recovering. Recently it is said that she’ll come back from hiatus in 2012. Ayaka-san, I’ll look forward to it! :D

Naturally, friends

Boys and girls can’t be best friends. Sooner or later either one will fall for another
(or even both)

People said this a lot, opposite genders are meant to be matched. But well, such rule isn’t always 100% applied. Here’s how the chemistry is broken;

1. Either one fell for another (or both), but it didn’t work out. So they decided to stay friends
2. Either one is seeing other people (or both), *provided they’re loyal*
3. Either one is not another’s type, and it’s fully grasped
4. Either one is gay
5. Oh well, it happens naturally

Fujioka Haruhi and Hitachiin twins!!!

Okay, okay. Ouran high school lovers, you might wanna argue me. But let me explain.

It's true that Hikaru kinda likes Haruhi.

But it could be #1. Since Hikaru's world only revolves around Kaoru, he thought there's no way he'll approach Haruhi as more than friends.

Or it could be #2. Because Hikaru (in fact everybody else in host club) sees how Tamaki likes Haruhi, so he decided to stay friends.

Or it could be no 3#. Haruhi somehow never intended to have those rich brat as a boy friend. And it’s understandable.

But it can’t be #4! Even though the twins has some light yaoi element in between (c’mon! they’re twins! :P)

And definitely it’s #5! Because they’re classmates

More Hitachiin twins!

Ps: can’t wait for the movie version of Ouran!

Everything's gonna be alright

It was past the bakery that always smelled so good
Around the corner at an exciting accessories shop
And down, down, down, a dangerous-looking alley
A place hidden away, probably once a bar
They call it their atelier

Have you ever met someone who was ‘scary’?
Right from the start you thought ‘this person scares me’
‘if this person’s around, he’ll wreck my life’
Right when I met him, I had that feeling
One of those people you never know what they’ll do
-Hayasaka Yukari, Paradise Kiss-

When a friend of mine recommended this movie a month ago, I went Google for it right away! Because it lines up my favorite stars, no joke!

Mukai Osamu, Kitagawa Keiko, Igarashi Shunji, Yamamoto Yusuke, Kaku Kento

Only since it's too new, so it hasn't been subbed by anyone. But this long awaited subbed version is at last available!

*damned excited*

I can't stop smiling ever since the beginning of the story; imagining how sweet the plot would be with awesome actors in it.

Paradise Kiss, directed by Shinjo Takehiko is an adaptation from a manga by Yazawa Ai. It's about a girl named Hayasaka Yukari who lives up to fulfill her mum's expectation; went to prestigious private high school, cram school after school hour, home tutor during the holiday etc to pass an entrance exam for a first-rank university.

One day on her way to cram school, she was scouted by Arashi. Asked whether she would like to be a model for their ‘Paradise Kiss’ clothing label. Tired of her routine, Yukari left home and agreed upon the offer. That leads her to Yazawa Fashion Academy meeting George and his team; Isabella, Miwako and Arashi.

Kitagawa Keiko as Hayasaka Yukari

Mukai Osamu as George Koizumi
A genius designer of Yazawa Academy who started designing since he was 5. He is eccentric and has cold demeanor. He has the you-don’t-know-what-he-would-do-next aura.

Igarashi Shunji as Isabella
Apparently believes he should have been born as a girl. More like a mother figure to the members of ParaKiss. He is the epitome of high class and femininity. Isabella was inspired by George's very first dress during childhood and decided to work with him.

Kaku Kento as Nagase Arashi
Has a taste for punk style, piercings, and alternative music. He is Miwako's boyfriend; they have both known each other (along with Hiro) from childhood.

Omasa Aya as Sakurada Miwako
Childhood friend of Arashi and Hiro. Perky and lively.

Yamamoto Yusuke as Tokumori Hiroyuki
Yukari's classmate and apparently Yukari likes him. But that turned out to be an unrequited love since he still has Miwako in mind. So they stayed best friends. Hiro is a childhood friend of Miwako and Arashi. He likes Miwako but has to give her up when he moved out. Later hiro finds out Yukari is hanging out with George, he was surprised to see Miwako and Arashi were a part of the team. Knowing they’re both dating, he decided to forget her and confess to Yukari.

Gorgeous setting. The plot is as expectedly sweet! Mukai Osamu played the character of George so perfectly; he's tall, with innocent charming smile, he walked as if a prince coming out of a comic book!

To see Igarashi acting like a woman is something I could never imagine. It's a waste of his good look! But he's still awesome acting as Isabella.

I personally think both Hiro and George are sweet to Yukari, but you gonna have to watch it to know who ends up with who (surprise invalid to those who've read the manga)

Yeah, you've to watch this! (not recommended to those who does not prefer romance)
It's about determination+passion+dream+fashion+inspiration+love

The opening theme is 'Hello -paradise kiss-' by Yui
The closing theme is 'You' by Yui
(that adds up why I wanted to watch this, that adds up why I cannot not love Yui :D)

Inserted songs
'I know you're not alone' by Sweetbox
'Everything's gonna be alright' by Sweetbox

Ps: everything's gonna be alright is my Sweetbox's favorite track when I was in kindergarten!

The live-action

I haven't had my hands on jdrama for quite sometime, for some reasons. Well, let alone.

And since then, a lot of things had happened including the remake of Hanazakari no Kimitachi e and the second season of Boss. I still haven’t checked out both, I wonder if I really have gone less interested in Jdramas. But one thing that convinced me that I haven’t is this one ongoing drama!

If you’re an anime-otaku, you sure have came across this famous manga; Ouran high school host club. I’m not sure about the manga edition, but its anime action has a total of 26 episodes. And prepare to be surprise people; they are on live action now! Okay, I got it. This news isn’t that new anymore.

I seldom downloaded an ongoing drama (now that I think about it, I never), because I can’t tolerate the dying feel to wait a week (or more) for the episodes to be English subbed and uploaded by particular subbing teams, but seems like Ouran broke the record after all.

My virgin notion on this drama is that, it will definitely be comical and anime-like (which I see as the only way to portray the original strength and identity of each character).

The reason why I’m too curious how this drama would turn out;

1) How will Haninozuka-senpai looked when he’s piggybacked on Mori-senpai’s shoulder.
2) How will the Hitachiin twins; Hikaru and Kaoru, naturally act around each other with a lot of skin ship without looking awkward.
3) How would Haruhi, who disguised as a guy and joined host club seems. (I have a feelings it’s pretty much the same as Horikita Maki in Hanakimi).
4) How exaggerated is Kyouya-senpai’s family properties; the indoor tropical park, the super big luxurious mansion by the seashore (this might ain’t a big deal anyway)

Takagi twins as Hitachiin twins

Hani-senpai and Mori-senpai

I’ve watched 2 episodes so far and seems like my notion was right. It is comical and anime-like. The live-action is pretty much like its original anime, plus its 30 minutes airing time.

Still it’s an interesting drama to watch, but don’t expect too much.

Ps: how I wish it was Yuuri Chinen play the role of that cute Haninozuka-senpai.
Pss: Takagi twins play the role of the Hitachiin twins

Yuuri Chinen, HeySayJump!

Mysterious blackmail

When was the last time you had fun playing guessing game? And when was the last time you felt being manipulated to the max that you kept changing your guesses back to back within limited evidence?

It's exactly the feeling that I had when I was watching Majo Saiban (The Witch Trial).

It's a story about a young woman whom death sentence is put in line for murdering her lover. The case was on hold of investigation for a year before put to trial. The line of juror among interested public citizen was recruited after filtration of writing test and interview.

So out of all the candidates, eight public citizens were chose to become the juror.

The juror

Toma Ikuta as Yoshioka Toru, a young man who never cares about social issues but applies to be the juror because he needs money

Kato Ai as Watabe Izumi, one of the juror. Married with one daughter and his husband is always away due to business matter. Because of the trial, she becomes closer with Toru

Higa Manami acts as Motomiya Kaori, Toru’s girl friend and also a reporter. Somehow seeing Izumi being too close with Toru makes her a little jealous

The witch; Ishida Yuriko as Kashiwagi Kyoko

The witch’s daughter; Kutsuna Shiori as Kashiwagi Haruka

The trial started, without anyone knowing (not even the defendant herself) there exist an underground illegal trial manipulator hired by the defendant lawyer in order to win the case. It is a big case and received wide live broadcast across the country. And the mysterious illegal organization team disguised themselves among the group of reporters; they set hidden cameras within the court compound, inside trial room, and in the jury room. However they still remained mystery and then further collected information on all the 8 jurors and start blackmailing them to vote not guilty in the trial; so they call it 'the witch trial'.

The ongoing of trial to get the defendant convicted offers continuous suspense, watching this drama one episode after another, you will gradually change your mind accordingly. This is among the well-directed jdrama I ever watched and if you were to watch it, go on and try using your best instinct to stick till the end whether the defendant is guilty or not. And the most shocking fact waiting at the end of the episode is 'who is the real culprit behind the mask of this underground trial manipulator'.

Cute as usual

If you're a fan of the j-movie prince of tennis, I know you'll secretly smile when I say his name; Hongo Kanata, the cute and mischievous young tennis genius. Though I wasn't really a big fan of Kanata, but watching him acting I can hardly help myself from falling in love with that cute little face. He's my age now and surprisingly he still has that good-looking, cute and innocent trait the last time I watched him in Yankee-kun to Megane-chan back in 2010.

Among my favorite drama of him is Himitsu no Hanazono (Hanazono’s Secret) in 2007. It's an 11 episodes comedy drama with maybe 10% trace of romance in it. Story about 4 guys and a girl; 4 brothers who're taking care of each other since their father, a famous artist died when they were young, and an ordinary workaholic girl who by fate had met them.

Tsukiyama has just been transferred from being a magazine editor of the fashion department to the manga department, and she’s assigned to be the editor of a famous shoujo manga (manga genre that’s famous among teenage girls), Hanazono Yuriko who has never once disclosed her identity to public. Having a norm thought like the society does, Tsukiyama who always believes Hanazono-sensei is a young lady (since shoujo manga artist has always been females) went to meet the famous manga artist for the first time. To her surprise, Hanazono-sensei is not a lady but actually men; the 4 brothers of different unique personality.

Starring;

The big brother (responsible for the coloring effects)
Sakai Masato as Kataoka Wataru

The second brother (responsible for the manga sketching)
Ikeda Tetsuhiro as Kataoka Osamu

The third brother (appointed as Hanazono Yuriko’s spokesperson and manager)
Kaname Jun as Kataoka Satoshi

The little brother (responsible for the story line)
Hongo Kanata as Kataoka Hinata

The girl (the manga editor)
Shaku Yumiko as Tsukiyama Kayo

It’s a fun drama to watch as the plot developed by resolving the conflict of why they decided to hide their identity behind a female name and not make themselves public. Starting from the beginning, this conflict appeared light and able to make viewers having false conception before gradually move on to resolving the heavier ones.

Ps: and so, Kanata is cute as usual

Can I be your Cinderella?

Cinderella tale has always caught me and and if you ask my favorite Disney princess, it’s her. Being told over again since ages, even if many might have thought the climax of Cinderella’s glass slippers dropped when the clock struck 12 has turned lame but that’s still my favorite part. It made “Would you be my Cinderella?” or “Can I be your Cinderella?” the proposal lines I always dreamt for.

Maybe that’s among the reason why I got myself to watch this Cinderella-like drama for over 5 times (apart from Kimura Takuya as the main cast), Tsuki no Koibito (Moon Lovers).

Still the story is revolving around I guy and 3 girls, but instead of having the prince, Cinderella and her 2 stepsisters, this time around they have the prince, Cinderella, the prince’s best friend and the daughter of the prince’s enemy.

The prince
Kimura Takuya as Hazuki Rensuke, the president of Regolith, his own established furniture company. Character of a one-man show with veto power when it comes to decision regarding the company. Full of egoism and a perfectionist.

The Cinderella
Lin Chi Ling as Xiu Mei, the worker in the factory that Rensuke bought and closed in order to build another Regolith branch in Shanghai. Forced to become the model of Regolith as a deal to save other unemployed factory workers and to help paying debts her father left and bills for her mum’s medication. Eventually she found herself falling for Rensuke.

My father told me this when I was little. A person who finds a water strider will be happy. That’s why I always looked for it.
Why happiness?
Rain falls,
The city becomes clean,
The flowers and tress and rice grow.
That’s why if there are water striders, there’s happiness.
(Water striders can only live in clean places)
-Xiu Mei, episode 1-

The prince’s best friend
Shiohara Ryoko as Ninomiya Maemi, Rensuke’s favorite designer in Regolith; best friend since college. Finds herself having a lil crush on Rensuke.

The fairy godmother waved her wand once and Cinderella got on the pumpkin carriage and went away to the prince
-Ninomiya Maemi, episode 2-

Daughter of the prince’s enemy
Kitagawa Keiko as Onuki Yuzuki aka Rensuke current girl friend. Her father, Onuki Shogen is the president of Mastopole (Regolith main competitor). Due to Rensuke’s neglecting manner, she always tries hard to gain his attention.

Despite having 3 girls fancy over him, Rensuke cares nothing else but his business and end up making employees under him uncomfortable with his selfishness; there’s someone trying to kick him out from Regolith. 2 important plots to look out for in the drama are 1) who among the 3 will he choose and 2) who is the traitor in the company.

The genre is romance, it’s a great 8 episodes romantic drama (if not I wouldn’t have watched it over 5 times), the plots are fast; you can see Xiu Mei transformed into a model from a strayed girl by Rensuke within one episode for instance. The viewers are kept curious until the very last episode, to know who among the innocent model, the best friend and the current girl friend will Rensuke choose.

Ps: Cinderella? Maybe it answers why I’m too obsess with shoes
Pss: btw there's no glass slippers drop in this version

Let's break up and switch partners part 2

I’ve never done a jdrama or jmovie review so extensive for I know people would simply Google those on solely jdrama review blogs and webs, that’s one. Two, is perhaps the dramas I watched isn’t that worth the spotlight except for its few look-alike characters like this, or just a simple review or highlighted issues like this since my readers aren’t all a jdrama-otaku. And three, perhaps because eventhough the drama caught me watching it 3-4 times or even 5-6 over again back-to-back, I just don’t have time to review it; Tsuki no Koibito (Moon Lovers) for instance.

But since I’ve got a lot of time now (all thanks to the 4-months break), guess I’ll hit on it a lil (err… perhaps a lil long).

*warning: this entry is long as well as contains a lot of images (ranked after this one)*

The drama is Love Shuffle

Kei, Ojiro, Kikuta sensei and Airu live on the same floor of a luxurious apartment but have never known one another until an incident of a power failure made them stuck together in an elevator. While waiting, their conversation hits upon their love lives and the question of whether there is truly only one fated partner for everyone. As a result, they decide to try ‘shuffling’ their relationships with each other.

Tamaki Hiroshi as Usami Kei
- Head of a unit at a leading IT corporation eventhough he was graduated from a second-rate university (since the company is owned by his fiancée’s father). So loyal to his fiancée, Mei

Matsuda Shota as Sera Ojiro
- A professional free-lance photographer who gotten intimate with Reiko. Bad-boy personality but charming at the same time. Playing psychology to reach women’s heart and make ‘em fall for him.

Tanihara Shosuke as Kikuta Masato
- A psychiatrist whose past lover had died in an accident. Secretly there’s someone in this love shuffle resembles his dead girlfriend.

DAIGO as Oishi Yukichi
- A straight and innocent wickedly wealthy young stock trader who owns several companies. Too rich that he tends to spend money to make someone dear to him happy. Willing to do anything when he’s attached to someone, and used to be Airu’s stalker. Sweet and cute.

“By the way, this place is empty. Are you sure the food is good?”
“Oh, that’s because I've just asked the owner to make it a private function”

-episode 1-

Kanjiya Shihori as Kagawa Mei
- Daughter of a well-off IT corporation president who’s never dated anyone else but her fiancée, Usami Kei. Suddenly breaking off their engagement for unknown reason.

Kojima Hajiri as Kamijyo Reiko
- Married woman who claimed interested to join love shuffle because her husband cheated her for a younger women; and eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth.

Yoshitaka Yuriko as Hayakawa Kairi
- A talented artist who claimed she can see things others can’t and being under Kikuta sensei care. She insists to commit suicide on her 20th birthday

Karina as Aizawa Airu
- A trilingual interpreter who has a lil bit of boyish personality; beautiful and stylish at the same time. Hard to open up for a relationship due to unable to forget her deceased twin brother long ago. Always tend to fall for a relationship due to sympathy, end up going out with Yukichi

click for larger image

A 10 episode romance, comedy drama directed by Doi Nobuhiro, Yamamuro Daisuke, and Tsuboi Toshio aired in 2009. The casts are great, and the plot gave me a constant chill throughout its episodes without a fail. The storyline developed into a more and more unexpected outcomes one after another and it’ll make you stick till the end to fulfill your curiosity of each and everyone’s personal interest of why they decided on joining Love Shuffle and whom will end up with whom.

You seriously should watch it

Ps: Matsuda Shota’s best haircut ever!
Pss: now I know it, it’s not that he’s getting thinner, he is thin!