The latest . . .

Yikes. I'm here, I'm here, I swear. It's been a hella busy 6 or 7 months.

I returned to full-time work in August '07 and then struggled to not only adjust to the corporate world, but to deal with a micro-managing idiot supervisor with her head so far up her @ss, she didn't know which way was up! Thankfully, she was asked to resign, but not before mangling most of the annual reviews she wrote for her team. I had to leap frog over her head to get mine re-written by her manager. That's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. I could go into more, but I won't. I have a new supervisor and he seems to be the cat's pajamas so far.

I apologize for being absent. You can find out a little bit more here.

Hope all is well with y'all and I hope to not be gone so long again.

Whoops!

How did it get to be December 3 already? What happened to October and November?

Quick updates.
Work: Fantastic. Hints from my supervisor that I could be promoted again, soon.
House: Got new roof, new siding, new soffits/fascia, new patio door and new windows. Still waiting on new living room windows, new front and back door and gutters.
Girl Scouts: Fine. I've had moments where I'm ready to quit. One spoiled brat of a girl decided to quit our troop and join the popular, cool troop her best friend attends. Spoiled Brat's mom never bothered to let me know. I found out second-hand. I was five kinds of furious.
The Spider: I've had no contact and haven't seen her for weeks. I refer to her house as "The Devil's Den." No particular reason except it's fun to say.
Writing: Lots of creative urges and ideas, not enough time.
Weather:

Catching up . . . ?

Today is my day to work late and I was hoping to catch up on my blog reading this morning but my blogroll isn't showing up! Instead, I'll post about the latest with me. Forgive me, but I promise to catch up with my blog friends, leave comments and touch base.

My days are filled with . . . work. But, pleasantly so. I'm swiftly getting the hang of my job and have had very few minor bumps along the way. Some of my fellow trainees haven't been so fortunate and have dealt with some irate, unreasonable callers. Having worked in several call centers before, I know it's just a matter of time before I get that unreasonable, hostile caller who will attempt to rattle me. I feel lucky that I've been experiencing placid calls which allow me to learn, adapt and gain confidence. Confidence is one of the key virtues one must possess when attempting to de-escalate a bad call.

As for The Spider situation, there was a scene between the two of us last Friday morning which threw me off my game for a better part of the day. In order for me to maintain a positive start to my work day as well as my sanity, my husband has been waiting with our daughter for the bus at the end of the driveway each day.

The scene, when described in simple words, seems benign enough, but the hostility, tension and sarcasm were palpable and disconcerting. I'd been stewing over The Spider's angry email and, well, instead of ignoring her Friday morning, I set my face into a grim expression, looked her in the eyes as I walked to the end of our driveway with my daughter. She smiled this broad, fake, taunting smile (very difficult to describe, but it threatened to weaken my resolve.) Never smiling in return, I gave one short, abrupt wave to which she responded (her voice dripping with sarcasm,) "Oh, I like that, that was nice." And then she mimicked my wave. I turned away and the simmering began.

What is she, in high school now? She possesses such a mastery of passive-aggressiveness, with just a simple taunting smile and sharp, grating voice. I kept it together long enough to see my child on the bus and head to work. On the way, I had to call my husband and rant and vent, poor guy. And thus, it was decided I should avoid her whenever possible, to protect my emotional well-being.

I've struggled to write over the past few months. I knew I wanted to write about The Spider Situation without it being a libelous story with recognizable characters. Lying in bed one night, I was struck by an idea and thus began my grown-up fairy tale with life-lesson moral about a dung beetle and a caterpillar. I brought it to my writer's group and it left them doubled over with laughter. My friend Gail was the only one who knew the true events behind the story; the others just enjoyed it for the writing and the lesson it presented.

It was cathartic and there's growing hope that I'll once again become a prolific writer.

Tiny triumphs.

I definitely overreacted about the unexpected overnight guest, I know now. Papa didn't care that the house was cluttered and messy and he only stayed one night.

It's easy to entertain an eighty-two-year-old man. I just showed him my vegetable garden and then all of us spent most of the time on the deck, sitting and chatting. He was content to watch my husband play fetch with the dog or me seed jalapeños, stuff them with cream cheese and wrap them in bacon. We didn't have to take him anywhere and he fell asleep in an upright position on the sofa. A lot.

Friday I quit my job at The Questionable Company. Though I didn't give them two-weeks notice (because I need these two weeks off to get some things done), they were very nice about it and even asked that I come back if my new job doesn't work out. Best not to burn any bridges.

I also discovered that any nutritional supplements, including vitamins in the grocery store, are not FDA approved and contain the same disclaimer that The Questionable Company puts on all its products and ads. So it isn't right for me to judge their product based on the disclaimer. I still dislike the whole multi-level marketing method of distributing that they utilize, but my coworkers were nice and it was a pleasant environment, despite the possible fire code violations of the offices.

I've exchanged a few brief emails with The Spider about the critique group she's setting up and my new job. The silence is officially broken but I don't anticipate anything warmer or friendlier, which is fine with me. I'm happy now, with minimal contact.

Still haven't heard from my mom. It's been a week and one day. I try not to think about it because it irks me so. I feel she's behaving childishly and I wonder if there's only more to come of this from her?

And finally, I've written. My dry spell has come to an end. This morning I added two new pages to a novel-in-progress. It's nothing extraordinary, but it's something to work with, to build on. It's the first thing I've written since April.

A mighty long dry spell.

It's been at least three months since I've written anything. Life (and my neighbor The Spider) just siphoned the creative forces from my being.

There is a minute or two each day (or usually at night when I'm lying in bed, fretting over things) where I feel a bit distraught about this. And then I have to talk myself off the ledge with reassurances that my writing mojo will come back, some day. And then the panic subsides. But the bitterness remains.

And, truthfully, I place most of the blame on The Spider.

I should take responsibility for my own weaknesses - but if you knew this woman, if you'd been so totally enveloped in her manipulations, her mind games, her PERSONA, and then escaped and finally gained perspective, you'd understand the scope of damage she inflicted. I mean, I'm on anti-depressants, for God's sake!

Now, whenever I hear her voice echoing from across the street as she speaks to her kids or husband and I experience flashbacks of random incidents, situations or comments from her and I shudder, my stomach lurching. Then I take a deep breath and exhale slowly, reminding myself that I'm free.

I've been fortunate that I've never experienced a toxic, harmful romantic relationship. But this experience with The Spider has got to be similar. I can now understand how a person who's deeply involved with someone like that cannot see how harmful it is when they are in the thick of it.

Months ago, The Spider complained to me, "Every time I make a new friend, they end up moving away." My God, now I know why!

It's been two and a half months since I last spoke with The Spider. I've tried to write. I even thought it would be therapeutic to write about her. But I can't seem to do it, yet. And it pisses me off.

I know it'll happen; I've had dry spells before. Just nothing like this. The fact that I am motivated to post on my blog gives me hope.