Oh, What A Difference

A Haircut Makes.

I'm sorry to keep going on and on; I promise I'll get over it right now! But this, I believe, will illustrate my point (and explain and justify all hesitancy and procrastination I have towards giving my baby boys their first haircuts!) that with the first haircut the babyness just goes. (Along with the beautiful curls.) :(

Before.

After.

Yarn Along Wednesday

Wow, having the opportunity to show weekly progress was really great for motivating me! And it didn't hurt that I had to do the mitten to do the hat and I had a little boy badgering me for his hat. It's almost done and then I'll finish that first mitten by putting the thumb on.

I loved both books that were pictured last week. I even did some cleaning with some of the formulas from The Naturally Clean Home and was very impressed with the results. I even ordered a copy for myself and a couple for Christmas gifts.

So for this week it's just my planner (because I'm working to find balance and) because I'm counting the days until my next big shipment of books comes in at the library! (And also a couple others I ordered used from Amazon.)

Make sure to visit Ginny to see all of the other great inspiration!

Between A and B

I've heard other mothers describe themselves as either a "Type A" or "Type B." Type A is usually associated with the schedule-minding, mess-cleaning, organized/uptight type of mom. Type B is the direct opposite, of course. This is the type of mom who abandons any such concerns in favor of playing, book reading, project making, snuggling, outings, etc.

Growing up, I had a mother who would definitely fall into the B category. Our house was a mess, we never had regular meal times, bed times, or naptimes. Even at the time I remember not liking those things, BUT, I relished the time she spent with us and the attention she paid us. I knew without a doubt that I was loved and valued because my mom always had time for me.

Because of this experience, it became my goal to show my children my love for them through words, hugs, kisses, and time. But my childhood also showed me that I value schedule and routine for me and also as an important element in the life of a child. If I were to place myself in the group I would naturally fall into, it would be Type A.

"Fine. I can reconcile this," I say. "I can do both. I can! I can find the middle ground. I can find the balance! Sure! Why not?"

I'm struggling to find this mystical balance. Still. I've been struggling with it since becoming a mother. I think the killer for me is that I'm pretty all-or-nothing-at-all. So either the boys and I are getting along swimmingly and having a marvelous time together (and the house is an absolute disaster and completely forgotten) OR the household is in decent, working order (never perfect with three little boys...) and I'm frustrated with the children for being underfoot, in the way, and hollering at them for undoing all the work I just completed.

It unnerves me that I've not streamlined myself as a mother.

Is this a struggle for everybody, or is it just me?

Does anybody have a workable solution or strategy that they've had success with??

PLEASE SHARE!

It's APPLE Season!

This is my favorite quote of the month. Spoken with an abundance of enthusiasm by a (now) 6-year-old on our way to the apple orchard. I feel as though the ebb and flow of seasonal eating is becoming apparent and innate at the same time. "It's APPLE Season!!!" Yea!

These honeycrips were 1/2 priced from last year because of the (harmless) scabs that were caused by some hail during the growing season.


Apple eating is most definitely part of the fun.

It was a windy, chilly day, though.

It never takes more than a few minutes to fill the bags with the super abundance of enormous apples.

This year's trip was unique in that it involved a trailer-tractor ride to the section of the orchard we were to pick from. That was a big highlight for the boys.


.....


The following weekend we attended an apple-cider-making party at the local, organic farm where we buy our milk, eggs, beef, and (soon!) pork.

A view.

The pigs and free-range chickens really enjoyed the by-product of the cider: ground up apples!

The cider press.

This was a very big deal that they all got to take their turns.

The apples get tossed in to the top black bin where the hand crank turns blades that chop them up and then they fall into the wooden barrel.

When that's full, a circular board is placed on the apples and pressed down by winding the metal thing.

All the juice seeps out from between the wooden slats and runs into the overflow bucket on the ground.

After that, it is strained and bottled! The cider can then be refrigerated for immediate use, frozen or canned for later use, or it could also be fermented.

We were also treated to a wagon ride tour of the farm with hot, mulled/spice wine for the grownups. And there was plenty of outdoors fun for the kids and good visiting for everybody else.

All of this excitement was culminated in a wonderful meal that was prepared fresh from seasonal food from the farm. Ahhh, it doesn't get much better!

A House, A First, And A Giveaway!

It really is amazing to me how these buildings that started so simply have graduated into structures like this. Sometimes the disarray is a little tough for me to get along with, but overall I enjoy seeing what they are able to construct.

And this is the first-ever lost tooth in our family! It's crazy how exciting it is for everyone and how much it can make a parent reflect on the fast years since the child was a baby.

He chose to store (and keep) his tooth in his shoebox.

And lastly, I'd suggest a trip over to Small Things because my friend Ginny is hosting a great giveaway!

My New Vocabulary

Although I know I'm probably better off without them, I still miss the words that I eliminated from my vocabulary when my first child was preparing to learn to speak.

Because, we know, that if you can depend on children for anything it's repeating what they hear. And for messes. But I can't prevent a messy house just by keeping my stuff picked up or by not spilling my milk.

So now, in the name of setting a good example (and for not having these things used against me or repeated in church), I'm censored. No more dumb, stupid, hate, want, no!, crap, hell, or damn.
This experiment has yielded the desired results, but I miss feeling a little colorful at times. Sometimes, when conversing with grown-ups I'll indulge myself, but then I worry that they think I'm actually a pottymouth!

Have any of you given up your freedom of speech?

Teamwork

While Mommy was making this mess:

Baby was making this mess:

Things just go better when we work together!

Reminder to Myself

A couple of years ago we were expecting our parish priest over for supper and for a blessing of our house. After spending the majority of the afternoon preparing the meal I ran short on time to clean up after the children's playtime activities before he arrived. So when I went to answer the door I was hugely embarrassed about the state of our living room. Once he crossed the entryway I made a quick apology for the mess and stated that it's obvious from the state of things that this is a children's home. To which he replied, "Is there any better kind?"

Uninspired, and, I Waver

This is the astoundingly uninspired view from our picture window today (and yesterday and the day before yesterday). Ugh.

This is also a view of the outside, but I may as well call it a view of my inside for how accurately it reflects my inner disposition and attitude. It's totally complete with the rain obscuring the view and even the Christmas tree is tipped over.

Yep, that's how I've been feeling lately.

The dreary, not sunny weather and staying nonstop indoors has definitely been responsible for a good portion of my crummy attitude. But it's not the only reason I've been down.

It seems like I vary or go through phases of different degrees of mastery or tolerance or capability (or something) for my vocation (the SAHM part, specifically). Sometimes it seems effortless and ideal and wonderful and like everything I'm supposed to be doing with my life and then other times, like now, it feels very difficult. It gets to feeling like something I struggle with, something I have to try really hard to be good at, put my effort in to. When it's like this I have to try really hard to resist feeling like my life is all drudgery.

Ugh. It's not a good place. I don't like getting here. But since I've been sitting here for awhile, I've been taking a good look around. I've been trying to analyze why I'm here, how I got here, why I get like this. It's not easy. I'm still not sure I have it one hundred percent figured out. But I think I'm starting to see that it's made up of a bunch of different things. The weather being one, my dissatisfaction with my post-baby body (and lack of initiative or ambition to do anything about it) being another. But I really think that a major part of it is my personality. I've always been aware of my extroverted, social tendencies. Having opportunities to interact with others, friends, makes me happy and feel good, feel like myself. But my chosen state in life does not lend itself to that at all. So I wind up feeling lonely and worn out and down in the dumps.

This, I realize, isn't the first time I've written about the challenges I have in this stage in my life meeting my extroverted needs. It really makes me wish that our culture was drastically different than what it is now. Literally, I've wished that we had a tribal community like in The Red Tent where you lived and worked with people all day long. Everybody was a SAHM, but they all did it together. And the cooking, cleaning, washing, knitting, everything, they did it together. I'd thrive on that. No matter what the weather.

Even though this is what my head has been like, I had a bright spot this evening while making supper. This is it:

I love this picture, but I'm so bummed about my shadow on his face. Oh well. I'm keeping it because I still love it regardless, and as far as photography goes, I'm still learning.

Suggestion Box

I think a hazmat suit should be given to each new mother with the advice, "You'll thank us later."

Perfectly Poetical Tuesday: Cinquain

Potty
can't understand
why he does
it in his pants
Infuriating

Find more poems at The Little Stuff of Life!

A Look at the Bright Side

In a heroic attempt at positivity, I recently observed that my children waking up (and thus demanding my care) before six every morning gives me the opportunity to daily greet the sun.

You and Me, Baby, You and Me, You and Me

Oh, how I love this little boy.



He made my heart grow even more. Isn't it amazing how babies do that?

Saturday Morning Hike

Here's me demonstrating my color-comfort zone (and loving babywearing).

Twos are NOT Terrible

I love my little Honeybun!

Completely Dumbfounded

What would you do if your four year old peed on their bed, in the middle of the day, on purpose? Completely intentionally! Literally. Today my son walked upstairs (our bathroom is on the main level), went to his bed, pulled down his pants, and peed right on his sheets. I heard him talking about peeing on his bed over the monitor as I was downstairs bathing the baby. I got upstairs just in time to find him pulling his pants up.

I am still in disbelief. I am also still puzzling about what on earth would bring about a child doing such a thing. It is really nagging at me that it could potentially have something to do with the fact that this is a boy who still does not make it through the night without having accidents.

Further, I could not even fathom what the just punishment should be (especially if it is relating to some weird mental potty-frustration-bed thing). During our walk back down the steps I decided that 1-he would have to sit on the toilet for 35 minutes and 2-he would have to sleep on the pee sheets tonight. Is this an appropriate, send-the-right-message consequence for his actions? Did I royally mess up?

What in the world is going on here? Help!!?

7 Quick Takes Friday (Vol. 9)

...1...

I've started whipping myself back into shape. ;) I'm really really enjoying it. It always feels so much better to me when I'm living more healthfully, eatingwise and exercisewise.

So far my exercise has consisted of post-natal video workouts (namely, Erin O'Brien's and Shellie Blanks' after baby tae bo) and going on late night fastwalks with my mp3 player (I started off with just 20 mins and am now doing about 30). I have really been loving that alone time! The beautiful nights, the awesome music, the getting my heart rate up -- it's been amazing. I've even really noticed, after coming back in after taking a few wonderful minutes for stretching on the deck, that it's also doubling as a great stress reliever!

The only downside to my walking, though, is that I'm usually all paranoid because by the time I'm able to go each night it's 10:00 or after and dark. I'm generally pretty cautious and aware of my surroundings anyway, but it gets in my mind when my husband reminds me to be careful and not play the music too loud, etc. Maybe a little reworking of the schedule is in order, but I'm just not sure it's possible to fit it in otherwise. Oh, this would be the one time that owning a (big) dog would come in handy. :)

On the food side of things, I've cut my calories way back and I've begun recording them again. I've found counting and recording calories works really well for me. It's helpful when I know I'm eating way too much to keep track for a day to see how far over I've been going and then set my goal and go from there. After awhile it gets to be so it isn't necessary anymore, but I really need it in the beginning.

The only thing was that I was concerned about was whether cutting back my calorie intake would affect my milk supply, but so far so good. I'm setting my goal for about 200 calories higher per day than what it was when I was at my ideal weight and it seems to be a good, sufficient amount. Except that right now I'm feeling hungry. :) If I was sleeping right now like I should be, it wouldn't be an issue and my stomach would just be shrinking (like it needs to!) and I wouldn't notice at all! But, since I keep running short on hours in the day, here I am, awake, with water bottle at my side!

...2...

The other night while finishing off a great walk I had a really vivid and powerful and raw memory. I remembered another late night walk I had taken about a year ago. I remember that it had been a pretty emotional, hard day for me dealing with mom being gone, and I decided to go out by myself with my music for a walk that night. But I just remember being so ripped up inside that during the walk I just started running. I really didn't even know why or consciously decide to do it; it was like my emotions were operating my body. I was sprinting so hard that my feet were bouncing off the ground and I was crying at the same time. I was a mess. A big, hurting, confused, angry, lonely mess.

It really struck me because that memory seemingly came out of nowhere. But then when it came and I felt it all over again, I could tell that that's different from how I am now. It was really weird because I actually felt the contrast of how it was then and how I am now. It was sad and strange and a little bit of a relief all at once.

...3...

Yeah, speaking of not enough hours in a day. Wow. I grew up hearing people talk about that but I couldn't ever really relate until now. It's crazy! (I really do love it, though, and I wouldn't have it any other way.)

...4...

Since my little Cuddlebug was born, I've had several strangers comment on my full hands. I've only ever been able to agree with a big, happy smile. But I've finally thought of a wonderful response and I've just been anxiously waiting to be able to use it!

Stranger: Wow, you're hands are really full!

Me: You've got that right! I am a very rich woman.

...5...

That is how I truly, truly feel. Since Cuddlebug's been born, I have been feeling so incredibly, richly blessed and so incredibly thankful to God. I cannot express the joy that God has brought to me with the gifts of my boys. Wow! Seriously, I thank God several times a day for all of them.

...6...

I am in love with going to the farmer's market! Fresh, in season, fruits and vegetables put me in such a great mood. I can't help it, it's crazy, but they do. When I have a perfect summer meal loaded with them, it's like it can't get any better and I'm in Heaven. The boys and I walked to the one in town the other day and I only had four dollars in my pocket. What can you get at a grocery store for four bucks? Not much. At the farmer's market you can get: a huge red onion, a huge green pepper, a big bunch of carrots, four big cucumbers, a yellow summer squash, and a green zucchini! I'm addicted! I'm devising plans to drive to the farmer's market in another town tomorrow!

...7...

My home parish is having their annual fest this weekend! I always look forward to it because on Sunday the late Mass is a Polka Mass! I genuinely love Polka Masses. I know plenty of people who believe that this should (and/or does) constitute liturgical abuse, my husband is one of them, but I'm glad they're not. I think they're great.

FYI: This isn't really because I'm a huge polka music fan in real life. I believe it's because I grew up going to Mass every single Sunday, and it was the one Mass out of the year that I thought the music was exciting and fun to listen to. And, my grandparents had the cassette tape of the Polka Mass and whenever my family would frequently take car rides with them it (and other polka music) was usually always played.

And guess what. My children love the Polka Mass, too!

Have a great weekend, everybody! Visit Jen for more Quick Takes!

I've got a new attitude

The thing that used to drive me the craziest about my mom was how she always seemed to be so slow at everything. Now, I am becoming my mother. And I'm taking on the one trait that bugged me the absolute most.

But the most amazing thing is that I'm completely aware of it and I'm totally embracing it! And I think I'm finally understanding why she was like that and how she got that way.

Being a slow person when you are the mother of three small children definitely has its purposes. I have found that it helps because I'm going more the speed of the children, so I'm a LOT less likely to be losing my patience with them for their pace with things. (And they like that, too) And it's also come in handy during this learning/adjustment phase after the baby's been born. I've adopted the attitude that I'll just do what I can and that things will just be different, at least until we get past the learning curve. So I'm totally at peace with it; it's been serving me very well. (I have been loving having three!)

Since thinking all of this through, I realized that this has just been carried over from the last months of my pregnancy when my body was imposing on me a slower pace. I think that that was God preparing me to be a mother of three, and I've been thanking him for it.

The Potty Times

Today was an off day. After doing so incredibly, surprisingly well for the last couple of weeks, we had several unfortunate accidents today. As in, every pair of underwear that child put on his behind was either sprinkled or soiled within an unreasonable amount of time. But that was just today.

Up until today I've been so flabergasted at how amazingly smooth the transition to underwear has been. We're starting the third week now and we've alread had some completely dry days and the vast majority of nights and all naps have been dry as well.

But that's the thing that I really get tripped up on with this whole thing. I just don't understand how one day could be perfect, dry all day, and the next day could be a day like today. Does anybody know? Could you clear this up for me? Until then I'll just be considering it as a learning experience for him and imagine that tomorrow will be outstanding.

Optimism? I'm known for it.

I need to get my (blogging) act together

It seems like the last four weeks have just gone by so quickly since the baby's been born! That's probably because I've been really occupied with enjoying our newborn and also with concentrating on getting through our days successfully and at least somewhat productively. I've been trying, quite unsucessfully, to fit in blog reading and writing; I feel like there's a bunch I've missed and that it would take pages and hours to get it all into words. I was just going over some pictures from over the last month that Lance just uploaded and thought that, at least in part, I'd let the pictures do the talking.

We celebrated our seventh anniversary on the first of this month. It seems like every blog writer that I read also celebrated their anniversary this month! I guess June really is the month of weddings. Congratulations to everyone who marked another year of wedded bliss this month! Here's us on our day.



This picture is quite an accurate depiction of how I've been spending most of my time in the past month. ;)



So is this one. If I had a breastfeeding picture to post, that would about cover it! :)




Baby's first real bath. He really seemed to enjoy it and didn't fuss at all. Let's hope the baptism tomorrow goes as well!




A fun parade day we had earlier in the month.


A graduation party for my cousin that we attended on Father's day.

Strawberry Season! This little boy has all the stains to prove it! For simplicity's sake we got ten quarts from an amish family and processed those. Two batches of freezer jam, one pie, one quart left out for eating, (only) three bags of sliced and sugared berries for the freezer, and the rest were sliced and sugared in the fridge for eating fresh on cereal and ice cream. We're still hoping to get some more for putting in the freezer, another pie, and some more for eating fresh. We're hoping to take the kids picking for that second batch, so we'll see if we make it out before the season's over with---and if we do, how many we'll get into our buckets!