Who Knew Hitler Was A Real Doll ?

An action-man/GI Joe style doll of Nazi leader Adolf Hitler has gone on sale in the Ukraine, with saleswomen comparing the doll to Barbie . We wonder if they mean Klaus Barbie the chief of the Gestapo.

Supermarkets in the capital Kiev are stocking the 9 inch fuhrer which is smaller than other action figures, complete with jackboots, leather trench-coat and swastika armband.

The £100 figure has a spare head "with a kind expression on it," glasses and several changes of clothes.

It comes in a presentation box with the dates of Hitler's birth and death on it.

There are reports of increasing xenophobia and racism, and of some extremists supporting racism similar to that of Nazi Germany under Hitler and a time of growing right-wing political sentiment in Ukraine.

Critics believe a cult of Hitler could spring up among disaffected youths, too young to remember the ravages Nazism wreaked on the country.

Although Ukranian laws prohibit any form of fascism or propaganda, the dolls are already on sale and will be mass marketed this summer along with an animated cartoon 'Hitler and the masters of the Universe.'

One saleswoman said: "It is like Barbie. Kids can undress fuhrer, pin on medals and there's a spare head in the kit to give him a kinder expression on his face because a smiling egomaniac mass murdering vegetarian junkie is much more appealing to children .

"He has glasses that are round, in the manner of pacifist Jon Lennon". What a great comparison.

The doll will also come with accessories like a miniature Blondi, Hitler's faithful Alsatian who died alongside the Nazi in his bunker in Berlin in 1945.
No one mentions that Hitler himself tested his cyanide on the animal before he took his.

According to the saleswoman, should the demand be high, manufacturers will go further and launch a series of themed Third Reich toys, including interiors of Hitler's chancellery, toy concentration camps with barbed wire, barracks and operating models of gas chambers and crematoriums.

If you aren't sure what to get your children this year for Christmas the Hitler doll is a great idea. Its also lucky that Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

116 Year-Old Ukraine Man Dies

Hryhoriy Nestor, a bachelor who in his lifetime was thought to be the oldest person in the world, has died at the age of 116 in Ukraine.

Mr Nestor died in his sleep in the village of Stary Yarychev, in the western region of Lviv famous for having the longest tape worm ever in a human, which was 20 metres or 66 feet and was found in Matviyko Samoilenko in 1956.

Nestor died before he could get into the Guinness book of world records, now the oldest living person is currently Edna Parker of the United States, who turned 114 in April but don't count on her making it through the winter as the world of competitive dying can turn on a dime.

A few close relatives and neighbours gathered for Mr Nestor's funeral.
In accordance with Mr Nestor's wishes there should be no crying, a hearty meal was served of his favourite dishes: warm potato and herring, and cabbage with home-made sausage.

Oksana one of his relatives said, "His death came as a surprise to us, he just didn't wake up again, who would have thought a 116 year-old in the prime of life would have just died ? He owed me money."

Mr Nestor put his long life down to the fact that he never married and was still a virgin however local children would chant as they passed by his home "Hryhoriy Nestor goat molester" but that was just children being children assured Oksana. The reason for him remaining a bachelor according to Oksana was because he was a short man and never had money, also maybe it was the constant farting from eating cabbage all the time.

In 1891 when Mr Nestor was born the life expectancy in Europe was 50 years old , Adolf Hitler was only two, An 8.0 earthquake strikes the village of Utsuzumi in rural Gifu Japan, killing over 7,000 across the region and creating a 3-meter-tall surface fault that is still visible today and Thomas Edison patented the radio.