Memories of Mental Health Past

Thanks to Gavin Elster for leading me to this 1982 employee orientation video for the Camarillo State Hospital that closed more than a decade ago and has since become a university campus.

It's easy to laugh at the huge lapels on the polyester blazers, the monotone delivery and generally inept presentation. But it's also rather fascinating to get a glimpse of mental health history and wonder what happened to the 4,000 plus clients and employees who were watched over by the CEO. His mannerisms remind me of Norman Neal Williams as portrayed in the first installment of the BBC's treatment of Tales of the City.

It's easy to see this man as the villain in some slasher movie telling each of his victims with the same detached, nasal droning voice, "You made me do it. You made me do it." It's a bit disturbing that a CEO would have to refer to a script to describe what his hospital does. Some of the comments for former clients on the YouTube page for this series suggest it was a very traumatic place to live.

Watch and then take a valium.

Goodbye My Sweet Prince

After two months that have been 99% bliss, I am sorry to share that the other 1% has forced me to make the excruciating decision to return Guru to the rescue group on Friday. Nearly a dozen close calls involving his aggression with other dogs and strangers (the last one targeting the three-year-old great-grand daughter of my neighbor) and three biting incidents (the last one drawing blood), have finally forced me to agree to this painful decision. I would prefer to have a vital organ pulled out of me. But I have to keep reminding myself that he is a dog not my baby and that I have to be focused on what is best for him not my sentimental ideal of him. All the kudos from the rescue network assuring me that I've gone from being a basenji novice to an emerging expert don't help.

I keep trying to remind myself that I did exactly what I said that I would do by being a transitional foster parent and not his real dad during this chapter of his journey and would adopt only if it was absolutely certain that he would be safe and that he could cause no harm to those around him.

Just when I thought I was able to handle this decision, I came home tonight with him being the most excited and loving he has ever been after one of my trips.

There is no comfort in having to close my chapter with Guru, but now I am wrestling with making the decision of how best to respond to the need of providing a foster home to...

...Puma...

...or Benji and Maggie...

...or Bes and Sati. The challenge will be not taking on all five. There are many other basenjis out there needing love and care, and I am intent on providing it not letting it whither away because of this sad episode.