Living the Life! What have I done?!

So my wife has been doing this exercise / nutrition program for almost a year now called "Live the Life"  (Kristi / Trish, here is the shameless plug for your program......and since I have a total of 2 people who follow my blog - my wife and my mom - this will clearly be the best marketing you receive all year...you can thank me later).

My wife, as hard as it is to believe, has become an even hotter "hottie" than she already was since beginning this program...and lately she's been hinting that maybe I should try it too.  And by "hinting", I mean she said, "Honey, you are getting absurdly fat.  Why don't you stop shoving Oreos in your face while watching TV, get off your butt, and try to use that gym membership you're paying for......I love you."  It's a good thing she threw in the "I love you" at the end, or that would have sounded like a cruel thing to say.

Anyhow, back to my sob story.  Most of you who know me, understand that since I was a teenager, I have been cursed to naturally look like Mark Wahlberg (from his Marky Mark days)...

You could also compare me to Brad Pitt (circa 1995)...

Or for you younger readers out there, kind of like Taylor Lautner...

...or on occasion, people would confuse me for Zac Efron...

If you are reaching this point of the blog posting, and are beginning to feel uncomfortable - potentially questioning my sexual orientation - take solace in the fact that you are not alone.  I too have to admit that I've never felt more gay than right now.  1 - I am a man, and I run a blog.  2 - I am posting several pics of topless dudes on said blog.  If I still had a "man-card", I would be handing it over to a real man right now - and he would destroy it.

Anyway, back to my sad story.  So naturally, given my ridiculous physique, I've never really had to work out, or be concerned at all about what I eat.  Well...then 30 happened.  Here's a pic of me sitting next to my daughter on a recent trip to the beach...

...or if you'd like a close-up, here's one that I took for all the ladies on Facebook to admire...

I'm not sure where Kimberly gets off calling me fat.  "Cuddly" - maybe - but "fat"?!

Anyhow, so I agree to start the program 3 weeks ago.  D-Day comes around, and at the 11th hour, I successfully come up with some BS reason to wait until the following week.  Then the following week comes, and I tell her that I've got this family trip planned, so let's start when we get back.  Well, yesterday I officially ran out of excuses.  I am now on day 2, and am trying to figure out what on earth I got myself into.

Do you want to know what kind of monster this program has forced me to become?!  In only 2 days?!  Here's an example:  This afternoon, one of my employees' wife and daughter came into the office.  She knew we were all going to be working late, so she graciously stopped by Paradise Bakery and picked up a bunch of cookies (only the best cookies in the world).  Well, this little 3 year old girl comes in, cute as can be, pigtails bouncing from side to side, smiling from ear to ear, carrying a little box of cookies.  She holds it up to me, and in the sweetest voice possible, asks me if I would like a cookie (something like the scene below, only the little girl was even more cute)....

It was as if two worlds were colliding - right in front of me.  I was so confused!  I wanted to be loyal to the program, and not let my wife down...but AT WHAT COST?!  Is it worth CRUSHING this little girl's heart?

I tell myself, "Jason, you have to be strong...it's only day 2 of 84 for crying out loud!"  So in the nicest way possible, I say to this little angel, "Thank you so much, but I'm OK for now. I'll bet the other guys would love one."


I might as well have stabbed her in the heart with a dagger.


Her big blue eyes dropped...her little lip began to quiver...it was all she could do to hold back tears.  She ran to her mom, and buried her head in mom's legs.  Yep...that's the kind of man I've become.

On my drive home tonight, I found myself deep in thought, reflecting on my actions during the course of the day.  I take solace in the fact that even though I'm a total jerk...at least I'll have an 8-pack like Taylor Lautner in 82 more days.  :-)

If you are the kind of person who is comfortable rejecting a cute little girl's cookie offer, you can learn more about the Live the Life program (which is not a multi-level marketing racket) at:

https://kristiapproved.infusionsoft.com/go/7DC/batesfam/

URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT: The Bates family makes it's triumphant return to blogging!

OK, so it's not urgent, or even that important...but at least I got your attention. :-)

So I'll be the first to admit I have been a little "lax" on keeping the blog up to date (and by "a little", I mean I have sucked royally at doing any blogging in almost 1 year).

I feel especially bad, since with everything going on, we didn't even get around to sending out a Holiday Card this year. So, it is with a renewed passion, that I am setting a goal to get caught up to date by the end of August! (I've changed this date like 3 times....but this time I'm serious).

So if you've got nothing better to do with your lives, we'd love for you to check back regularly over the next month for an update on the comings and goings over the past 12 months of our boring family.

The posts will be listed below this one.

Jason

Guts...

After taking the plunge on Splash Mountain, Carter exclaims, "Wow Dad...I was really holding onto my GUTS on that one....that made my guts feel WEIRD!"  I couldn't help but laugh.

"Mom, guess what.....I can see heaven!"

Carter's comment on a drive home today. We do have some pretty sunsets down here in AZ.

T-R-O-U-B-L-E

This picture makes me laugh and cry. In case you can't tell, it's Courtney, my 7-yr old daughter (who thinks she's going on 16). What 7-yr old poses like this?! This one's going to give me a run for my money. She is going to be a heart-breaker...and I'm already preparing to be "cleaning my guns" when the boys come calling.

Jason in DC

I had a work conference in Washington DC this week, and it was the first time I have ever visited our nation's capital.  I don't profess to be the most patriotic guy in the world, or very interested in politics at all, but it was an amazing place.

Capitol building

What would a blog post about DC be without a picture of the White House.  If you look closely, you can see Obama inside...running our country into the ground.  (That was for you Kendall).  :-)

Random building...with artwork reminiscent of what you would come across in everyday life.  Don't you always run into naked ladies riding horses backwards, with miniature dolphins jumping around them?  Happens to me ALL THE TIME.

I think there was a famous picture like this...maybe a historic speech, or something like that from this point.
Oh yea, that's right, Forrest Gump spoke from here, and then ran out majestically into the water to meet "Jen-nae" (c'mon, go ahead and use your Forrest Gump voice to say it..."Jen-nae").

Now onto the more serious portion of this post...

Just outside Vietnam Memorial

A section of the Vietnam Memorial

A photo from the WWII Memorial

Arlington National Cemetery

Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.
If you haven't seen this, you are missing out!  AMAZINGLY POWERFUL!

I was humbled, amazed, and overcome with a sense of gratitude to all the men and women (and their families) who give their time, energy, even their lives to defend this amazing country we live in...giving each of us the ability to enjoy the freedom's that we too often take for granted.  Thank you all!

Courtney turns 7!

My little princess is growing up.  Here are a few snapshots from her special day(s)...you can't only have 1 b-day party around here.

B-Day party with Grandpa, Grandma, Aunts, Uncles & Cousins...that cake looks really freakin' good right now.

"Yo, Yo, Whatz Up Boyz?"  Courtney and a bunch of friends at some over-priced pizza joint.

I am posting this picture for posterity.  This is the boy Courtney has a HUGE crush on (Joseph) - although she won't admit to it.  Look at how he makes her smile.  You better watch it Joseph...I've got my eyes on you.

Just a cute pic of Courtney opening presents.  Also, a classic pic of the two girls in the back.  One enjoying every moment of her cupcake...the other, puking all over the ground.  :-)