Monroe's first birthday

Here I am on the eve of Monroe's first birthday and am a mix of emotions. I am way sadder than I thought I would be. With Violet, I wasn't sad really. Maybe I was .. But I think mostly I was relieved that I had survived the first year. Becoming a mom was a huge adjustment for me. It was the hugest thing I had ever done and was so unprepared for what was to come. But with Monroe, I have been able to really enjoy every minute of her first year. I was completely prepared for another tough year, especially with also having a toddler. But surprisingly it wasn't as hard as I thought it would be.

The first year of my baby's lives I become a slave to their eating needs. I feel like in the beginning there isn't a lot you do for your baby besides feed them, love them, change them, and cuddle them. So I guess I take them very seriously! With violet, she went to the nicu and was bottle fed without my knowledge which led to a very hard feeding/eating life. I pumped for eleven months and it was incredibly hard being a slave to pumping as often as I could to keep my milk supply up so that I could give her breastmilk for as long as possible. It took so much time and energy, but I wanted to feed her my milk if I could. So when that time was over, I was relieved! I didn't have to feel guilt for not pumping when i physically was able and "should". So it was such a huge weight off of my shoulders when I didn't "have to" anymore. But with Monroe she didn't latch initially, so when we got home from the hospital, I was pumping again and finger feeding her through a tube. I WAS DEVISTATED. I knew how hard it was with Violet and didn't want to go through that again. But also didn't want to pay for formula! It's so expensive. So about four days after Monroe was born I had a lactation consultant come to my house. She was heaven sent. I won't say it was easy, it took time and a lot of dedication to get her to latch, but she finally did and I have loved nursing her ever since. It has been very very time consuming! In the beginning Monroe would nurse for 45-60 minutes every hour. And because she was so small, the lactation consultant advised me to nurse her as long and as often as I could. So I did, I nursed her ALL. DAY. LONG. I didn't take her off after a certain amount of time and when she would fall asleep eating I would wake her and make her keep eating. That was great for my supply,  great for our bonding and best for her little growing body and brain development. I am so proud of myself that I have nursed Rosie for the first year of her life. It was difficult not really going anywhere and being a human milk machine for the first two months, but I bonded with her more than I ever could've imagined and she is so healthy because of it.

I am in love with that baby girl. I'm so happy that she is apart of our family. I am a little bit sad that she is getting bigger, I think because I feel like she is our last baby and I'm sad to not have a little baby around anymore. And because she was such a joy as a baby, literally textbook perfect baby (which was not the case with Violet). But I'm so thankful that I really did enjoy this year with her. I have proved myself wrong in every way. I love being a mom and I love being a mom to my two girls. 

Monrosie is so different than her sister. I could tell from the pregnancy she was different. She is SO Jesse's daughter. She is sweet, go with the flow, loving, happy, chill, and so low maintenance. But she's got so much light around her and smiles at everyone and has some spunk to her too 😉. She naps so well and sleeps through the night. She loves sleeping in the same room as Violet and they talk and laugh each night before bed. She has the prettiest smile I think I've ever seen. She loves bath time and being outside. This girl is generally such a good eater and is pretty cont ent most of the day. She is very physically coordinated, she climbs and loves the park and walking everywhere. She is the best girl and I love that I have a spicy daughter and a sweet daughter. I have the best of both worlds. Because they both have the sweet and spice in them and it's fun to see how they are with each other.

Violet has taken on the big sister roll like a champ. She loves her baby sister and teaches her so much. She always is looking out for her and is getting her her paci or a toy or a diaper. And I am so impressed with how she has so beautifully transitioned into a big sister. 

I love you Rosie baby. You have made me the happiest mama! 

Monroe Marra Moberly

Welcome baby girl! Monroe was born on September 17, 2015 at 5:09pm. She weighed 6lb 11oz and was 19 3/4". She was born with lots of dark hair and is the sweetest newborn ever. I wanted to document her birth story, but now with two kids I feel like I have had no time to sit down and write it all down. So now that I have a second, here we go.

I had been wanting to go into labor early for weeks. I don't like being pregnant and especially at the end when you are big and hot, no one likes to be pregnant! But I kept having the restless leg syndrome and was so tired and just wanted to get things rolling! So I kept telling myself I needed to go into labor! On Monday the 14th I had an apt and when I was walking in to the apt, I fell off the curb and sprained my ankle! Poor Monroe! I asked to be induced and since I would be 39 weeks on Saturday the 19th, we scheduled it. I wasn't progressed as far as being dilated, but I was thinning out. So that was a good sign. I didn't want to go into labor on the 15th because a few Moberly's were already born on that day. So I was hoping to go into labor on the 16! Well I woke up at 3am on the 16th to my contractions getting MUCH stronger. I had been having contractions for weeks and weeks but not like those. I was breathing through them but they started getting stronger and closer together. I didn't want to get my hopes up and tell Jesse to stay home. But I was pretty sure I was in early labor! So Jesse went into work to do a few things before coming home and he called his mom to see if she could come get Violet. Well he got home at 11 am and my contractions started slowing. They started getting more inconsistent and less often. So we went on a walk to try to get things going. Jesse and Violet played at the park while I walked around the park. I was breathing through a few contractions. But I was really disappointed because I could tell labor was stopping. Well fast forward to afternoon and Jesse's mom came and got Violet around 4pm. I started crying because I knew that was the last time I would see her before she became a big sister! After she left I just started cleaning and getting last minute things done. I gave Jesse a haircut and was breathing through contractions during his haircut. I went to lay down because I was so tired from all day having contractions and not sleeping the night before. But the contractions were too strong that I couldn't rest. I was rolling to the floor right when I would feel one coming on. And have a contraction on all fours. At midnight, I couldn't take it anymore. I was so tired from not sleeping, but didn't think my contractions were strong enough to be in active labor. But I told Jesse I wanted to go to labor and delivery anyway. 

The car ride sucked, having contractions the whole way. But they were about 5-10 minutes apart. So it wasn't very often. We got there and had to wait for the midwife to come and check me. I was having contractions the whole time we waited. And they were getting stronger. I was having back labor this time around. It was in my stomach, low back and thighs! When she came in, around 3am on the 17th I was only at a 3 1/2 and about 80% efaced. She said I could walk around a bit and come back or they could give me some pain medication and I could try and get some sleep. Jesse thought I should try to rest. So we took that option. Well after she checked me, the contractions got MUCH stronger and I was in a lot of pain! But once they gave me the pain meds i got pretty nauseated and my contractions essentially stopped. I tried to sleep but really couldn't. Who can sleep in the hospital anyway?! I rested until about 9:30am when the midwife came in to check me. She said I probably hasn't progressed since I hadn't had anymore contractions. Well when she checked me, I was at a 5. I thought I had progressed a little bit because after the first midwife checked me, I had a bunch of contractions that were much more intense! After she checked, she said lets have a baby today! I was so happy! So we got admitted and I was hesitant to have the epidural because with Violet, the epidural slowed my labor A LOT! But I wanted it anyway. So I got the epidural at about 11am and she said we would have the baby by dinner. The epidural was completely numbing one side on my body and not the other. It was driving me crazy! I asked the anesthesioligist to fix it and they just numbed my other side way too much! So annoying! My contractions were still pretty inconsistent. So they started me on pitocin. The midwife said since it was my second baby, once my water broke, that things would go really quick. But I didn't believe her. Lol. I continued on pitocin for a few hours. At 3pm I was only at a 6 1/2. So they raised the pitocin levels up. And my water broke at 4:45pm. I felt it pop so I called the nurse in and she had the other nurse come in and set up the birthing tray and table. I was like seriously?? Already? No way it can go that fast! Boy was I wrong. She checked me and I was still at a 6 1/2. Then she checked me during my next contraction and said I was at a 9 1/2!! What?????? I started feeling a lot of pressure and like I need to poop. Before 5 I already was asking to push and they told me to wait. At 5 I started pushing. I pushed a total of 3 times for 9 minutes and she was born. They could see her head after the first push! It was so much easier this time around! The nurse counted for me and held one of my legs while Jesse held the other. It was SUCH a better experience!

Monroe was so beautiful! She immediately laid on me and stopped crying. She was so alert just like Violet. They let me do skin to skin with her for over two hours and she latched on as well. It was a little painful but she did and I was in heaven! Such a better experience than with Violet! 

Violet got there with Maga at about 7:30 and met her sister. We hadn't even left the birthing room yet. She was a little sad and missed Jesse and I. And also didn't like me being in the hospital. She loved holding her sister though and it totally melted my heart! When Violet left, I cried again. I've never been away from her that long. And I know Violet much better than I knew Monroe! I missed my other baby! But once she left I just soaked up Monroe. She was so tiny and so perfect. She had a hard time latching and did not want to eat. She just wanted to sleep. I was so worried about her but the lactation consultants were busy and not very helpful. So when we were about to leave and getting discharged about 24hours later. A lactation consultant came in and basically asked us to stay to make sure things were going well. I was disappointed and that night was not fun for me at all. I had some very aggressive people coming in and out trying to force Monroe to wake up and eat and I was so mad! I wanted to go home at 2 am. But we waited until the next evening and came home with expressed breast milk and we're feeling her with the tube and syringe with our finger. She latched on a week later. And a great lactation consultant found that she was lip and tongue tied. So she got the procedure at 18 days old. She was just over two weeks. It's been a bit of a process. But she is now exclusively breastfed and I coundnt be happier about that. I am so thankful for her breastfeeding! It is so much easier than pumping. I love her so much! I will post about her and our breastfeeding journey later!

Sleep

Monroe did her first 5hour stretch last night! From 8pm to 1am! She nursed until 2 am and then was up every hour and a half to two hours after that! The night before last she did two 4 hour stretches in a row 8pm to 12am and then 12:45am to 4:45am! Hallelujah for sleep!!

Anticipation

Leading up to a baby's arrival is a very exciting but anxious time. I've been feeling a lot of emotions and they all have been kind of throwing me through a loop. I am feeling excitement and happiness but also nervousness and anxiety. I am so nervous about how the adjustment will go and what life will be like with two baby's. It took me a while to really step into the role of a full time mom because I've always been interested in a career and working outside the home. So it was a big adjustment and I think some days I am still adjusting to life at home. But I've also been pretty anxious and ready for her to just come so that I can get the show on the road. All the anticipation kind of makes you crazy. There are so many feelings when you are anticipating something this big. I feel like once she does get here, things will be a lot easier because there is no more wondering, thinking, insomnia and worrying. It's just time to do, rather than think and "prepare" if that makes sense. I'm not sure if it is always the case though, because once the new baby does come, a whole new set of challenges arise. And what your life and schedule used to be, are no longer there and you have a whole new whirlwind of emotions. I am hoping though that it's an exciting time and an adventurous time rather than a difficult time. I'm hoping it is more of a positive experience for me this time around. I really struggled when Violet was born, in the sense that I had never done any of it before and I had never really been around babies before period. I really didn't know what being a mother entailed and it was a huge wake up call for me trying to cope with no sleep, recovery from birth and all kinds of emotions that I wasn't expecting. I'm hopeful that this time since I have already made the adjustment into mom mode, it won't be such a huge change from what life is already kind of like. I mean I haven't woken up in the middle of the night, multiple times with a newborn in a while. But I already have the mind set of this what my life is. I stay home and I take care of my kiddos and I love it. 

Here is to hoping that life really will be better once she is here. Most of the time I think maybe it is better to keep her in longer, so that we have more time to prepare and more time where we don't have to have a newborn crying a lot and all the no sleep that comes along with it. But honestly, I'm hardly sleeping now and being so big and so limited is pretty dang hard. Constantly worrying or trying to prepare for something that is coming messes with your mind, which in turn, messes with your body because it's exhausting worrying and preparing so much. I hope that things will be easier when she comes. Maybe not for a few weeks, but I think I am just ready at this point and once the baby is here you HAVE to adjust and you HAVE to make things work. So there is no more planning, it's just doing. 

My appt is in two hours with an ob so I'm really hopeful she will strip my membranes and possibly schedule me an induction date so that I can start to feel human again. The rls and insomnia is making me go a bit crazy and feeling a bit depressed. I'm ready to not drag it on any longer than I need to, if baby is healthy. I already won't sleep when she comes, so not sleeping for a few more weeks and then when she comes not sleep for another few months?? Why not start the process a little sooner, I think I'm ready to get this thing going!

38 weeks

How far along? 38 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 160lbs 35+lbs I have an appt on Monday so I should find out then what I'm weighing now. 
Maternity clothes: yep and a lot of Jesse's clothes. I am big and hot lately! 
Stretch marks: yep, I'm curious to see how many. I know there is one small one for sure. But my ab muscles and skin hurt so bad lately so im guessing there are more! 

Sleep: SO tired. And I have slept terribly this week. I am so lethargic everyday. It's a combo of being so big and at the end of pregnancy, my body is gearing up for birth and not sleeping at all. The rls was back all week. I think I figured out that I need to eat a banana a day to help with it. I think that's what made the difference last week to this week. I am exhausted!

Best moment this week: this week has honestly been pretty tough with the not sleeping again but I had a few great moments. Spending a lot of fun time with Violet and going to the pool with her. Labor Day was really fun, all three of us went to the pool and just had a really fun day together! It's probably one of the last times we will go to the pool together as a family during the day. It was fun to play with Jesse and Violet in the pool. Also getting some last minute things done was gratifying! I did a lot of little things this week to prepare for our girl coming. I also packed our bags for the hospital. So that makes it more real! 
Have you told family and friends: yes
Miss anything: not being pregnant and having so much pelvic and ab and back pain. I miss being my normal size and being able to do things normally! Cleaning and daily activities just get so hard when you have a big baby in your belly! 
Movement: she moves a lot at night which also contributes to the not sleeping. She is constantly moving and getting into a weird position. And on top of that I'm having a lot of Braxton hicks and she looks so big in there when my belly hardens up!  
Food cravings: smoothies!!! And milk shakes. 

Anything making you queasy or sick: no not really. I was pretty nauseas last week and it's continued a bit this past week too. 
Symptoms: Braxton hicks/contractions, cramping, tired, nauseas, big, stretching stomach, a little nesting yesterday especially, congested or can't breathe through my nose, headaches, a little swelling but not much, impatient with Violet all day! 
Have you started to show yet: yes. I am a big girl! 
Gender: girl! 
Labor Signs: Braxton hicks and contractions! And a bit of cramping. Yesterday I woke up all crampy and I've had an upturn in contractions. They are happening all the time! I had my "nesting" day yesterday where I cleaned a ton and packed bags and went through the fridge, laundry, etc. so I'm really hoping for something to start in the next week!
Belly Button in or out? Out, so far out! It's stretched out a lot!
Wedding rings on or off? Back on I decided it was time lol
Happy or Moody most of the time: both! We have so much going on right now. It's Jesse's last semester at school and is still working crazy hours. So physically he is gone all the time. He has worked the past 4 Saturday's in a row. But also mentally he is so wiped that it's been tough on me. We are trying to make up financially from last year, so that is so stressful. Being so pregnant and having no help is hard work. Violet has been such a trooper and I'm thankful for her patience with me. I'm so excited to meet our little munchkin and get a routine down and for the end of the year to be over finally. I cannot wait. Than we can just focus on Jesse working and making up financially everything we've been trying to and have our little family together again. 

Looking forward to: getting my hair done today! I am finally getting my hair colored after not having it done since May. I've been trying to hold out until we got close to the due date so I didn't have to go back in immediately after having the baby. Also my doc appt on Monday! I'm really hoping for some labor progress and I'm gonna ask her to sweep my membranes. I don't want to go into labor on the 15th though because that is Jesse's sisters bday. And also a big day at work for Jesse. So hopefully, she comes the 16th or the 17th! Ideally I would love to go in on Monday for my appt, get my membranes swept and deliver that day, but I see no signs of that happening. I don't feel like she is coming any time soon :(. I'm guessing she will come the 28th hahaha ughhhhhh come now baby girl! I'm ready to meet you and get you out of me!

Violet

I want to write down a few things that Violet is doing/saying right now before baby sister comes! 

She has really become such a big girl lately. 

-She goes potty completely on her own. She needs me to help her wipe after she goes poop but she will take off her pants and underwear and go completely on her own. 

-She mostly doesn't pee during her nap. I try to be really good about taking her right before she goes down and she is holding it now! 

-She LOVES her Disney princess nightgown from Costco and wants to wear it just about every night to bed! 

-She's loving movies! Her favorites are little mermaid, beauty and the beast, big hero 6, Anastasia, and Hercules! She also loves shrek and the emperors new groove.

-She is saying prayers now and absolutely loves saying them. She prays for her cousins no matter what every single night!

-She is OBSESSED with her dad. I mean seriously lately, he is the light of her existence! I think I'm really no fun lately and she gets her fun, exciting fix from him these days. 

-She loves to snuggle with us in bed in the mornings. Not for very long but she brings a pillow in and lays right between us. It's so cute!

-She calls movies "woovies"

-She LOVES smoothies. She helps mommy make one just about every morning and loves them. Which is a nice change up because she doesn't really want to eat anything in the morning!

-Her favorite things to eat are probably cheese and meat. 

-She loves babies! And she carries her baby that grandma got her everywhere!!

-She wants to be swaddled like baby too

-She loves nursery and although we sing a lot of songs every night, she has learned so many more words to the songs than she used to know. I love it!! 

-She knows all the words to twinkle, twinkle little star, and her abc's. She loves popcorn popping, once there was a snowman, do as I'm doing, clean up song, itsy bitsy spider, the wheels on the bus, I am a child of God and I love to see the temple. 

-She LOVES the temple and loves to walk around the temple grounds. She also waves hi and says bye every time we pass the temple when driving!

-She loves Cheetos! And asks for them every time we go to the grocery store. It's our tradition. It keeps her still for a little while!

-She LOVES donuts. Especially the ones with sprinkles or frosting and licks it off of the top. She gets donuts usually Saturday morning with daddy. They walk to vons and come home and we eat donuts together. 

-She loves to dance. She always wants to have dance partys!

-She pretends to be asleep A LOT! Closes her eyes and smiles and waits for someone to say, "Violet's sleeping!" 

-I asked her what her name was and she said Violet and then I asked her what my name was and she said mommy and then I asked what "his" name was, pointing at daddy and she said "daddy!!"

-She loves her cousins and aunts and uncles and grandparents! She knows everyone's names and asks to see them every morning, night and day!

-She is such a good swimmer. I feel pretty comfortable with her swimming in the pool or hot tub by herself. When her older cousins are around I'm a little more hesitant because she wants to be brave like them. And she follows what they are doing! But she swims with her little floaties so well. She kicks and swims great! She loves the hot tub and turns on the bubbles every time she's in it!

-When mommy takes a shower, Violet has to take a shower too. And then after I get out she gets to take a bath with bubbles until she's ready to get out and I've gotten dressed!

-She sleeps from about 7:30pm-7:30am. 

-She naps from about 12:30-2:30 usually a little less than that but mommy needs a break! 

-She loves to brush her teeth and wants to brush them all by herself. Of course i do the main brushing first and then she usually finishes off on her own. 

-She loves washing her hands.

-She absolutely loves bath time and swimming! She loves the water.  

-She made her first best friend and her name is Felicity! They ask about each other a lot and love each other so much! 

-She loves "dippy dip" and loves to eat carrots or bell peppers with her dip. 

-She drinks and pees a ton!

-When she's mad she says, "stop whining!" And "I need you to sit down!" I guess I say those phrases too much! Haha

-She is a tip toe walker and has recently started walking over the tops of her toes now. I need to get her to a PT soon! 

- She loves all the Disney princesses and knows them by name!

She is starting to ask me to write names down like mommy, daddy, Tiana, Ariel, Snow White, etc. 

-She loves Minnie Mouse too!

-She loves books and always wants a new book!

-She's a size 2t and size 8 shoes. Her fav shoes are her Disney princess flip flops that her two cousins have and got them at Disneyland. 

-She loves to help mommy do things, whether it's cleaning, cooking, laundry, whatever. She always wants to help. She is going to be a great big sister and I know she's so excited to have a little sister! 

-She doesn't completely get the concept that a baby is coming but she points to her ultrasound pics and says baby sister and to my belly and says baby sister too. When I ask what baby sisters name is, she says "biyet" that's how she says Violet! 

-She is going to be a little performer! She is such a silly girl!

-She is great at throwing the ball and loves to catch! 

-She is going to be a gymnast! She has such crazy upper body strength! She can hold herself up doing pull ups and also like gymnasts do the horse thing. I don't know how to explain it. 

-When she doesn't like something, she says "no, I don't yike it! It's for you." Haha

-She says "geego" but means again!

-See you wawa for see you later

-Yuv you for love you

-She loves jumping in the pool. 

-She does fishy eyes, checking to see if you're watching her be cute!

-Spent her 2nd bday at Disneyland with mommy. 

-When we pull up to church she says"I found church!" She recognizes buildings! So funny. 

-She recognizes people by their hair! Just like mommy! 

-She bites her nails

-Climbed out of her crib twice in one day but when I told her not to do it again and she would get a spank if she did, she has not done it once since!

-She is very obedient! As obedient as a two year old can be. She is beginning the temper tantrum stage though. She doesn't throw them at home. Only when we are out with her cousins or friends!

-Her hair is a gorgeous blonde color and is straighter than mine was. It makes ringlets at the ends! So beautiful. I love it after bath time or pool time. It's just hitting her back in the back! It's growing faster now that it's a bit longer. 

-She loves wearing her backpack everywhere. 

-She loves her "goggy"---blanket!

-She says just about anything and is putting together phrases and sentences. 

-Most people think she is older than she is because she is so tall, potty trained, smart, speaks really well, or plays together great with others!

-At her two year check up she was in the 97% for height and 76% for weight. 

-Got her blood drawn and shots for her two year check up and cried for a minute and then was fine. She was such a big, strong girl! And after she went around showing everyone her owies everywhere we went!

-Loves to talk on the phone. She answers my phone all the time when it rings! 

-Everytime we go to Costco she says "hot dog!" She loves Costco hot dogs and can eat a whole one by herself!

-She says hi to almost everyone in the store!

-She loves to wear daddy's shoes!

-She loves to be outside and play! She loves the park, the pool anything outside. -She loves playing in the sand with her toys and also loves swinging!

-Whenever she asks where something is or went, she immediately follows it up with a "he go home!"

-Everyone is a "he" or a "boy" 

37 weeks

How far along? 37 weeks
Total weight gain/loss: 160lbs 35+lbs 
Maternity clothes: just wearing whatever is most comfortable at the moment. Not trying to be cute lately. 
Stretch marks: yes, I have one for sure and my skin is really stretching and hurting lately so I'm guessing I will have more! 

Sleep: so much more tired this week! I feel like a slug! I am just absolutely wiped and taking naps again when Violet goes down, I go down. And even though my sleep isn't great, it's better than it has been. The last few nights I haven't had rls and it has really made a difference! Thank goodness. 

Best moment this week: Maybe deciding baby girls name?! Jesse and I talked about it last Saturday night and I think we have made the decision. We aren't telling anyone though, in hopes that it won't make me change my mind again haha. Whether people like the name or not it affects me. So I'd just rather not tell anyone! Lol. Spending qt with Violet, and my appt on Tuesday was pretty good. I'm dilated a little and hopefully that means I won't have to wait until 40 weeks! 
Have you told family and friends: yes
Miss anything: not really. I think I'm just ready to not be pregnant anymore. I'm ready to bring all the new symptoms of being a new mom again. No sleep, hormonal, love, engorgement, worry, anxiety, and recovery! 
Movement: in so much busier than with Violet so a lot of the time I don't even notice the movement unless it's really big or uncomfortable. So I'm trying to be more conscientious lately of her movement so I can be sure she is safe and sound! But she is getting big! I swear she is already 7lbs! And so her movements are very strong and specific! 
Food cravings: thirst, otter pops, cereal

Anything making you queasy or sick: yes. This week I have been much more nauseas. Almost all day I just feel sick. Not specific foods or anything. Just nauseated in general! 
Symptoms: weight gain! I feel so fat! Tired, heavy and big, nausea, hormonal, cranky, really tired, hair is really dry and just feels gross! Even after a haircut, skin and ab muscles stretching and feeling like they are ripping, pubic bone pain and some groin pain, peeing a lot! 
Have you started to show yet: yep I'm really big this time around. 
Gender: girl 
Labor Signs: Braxton hicks and some cramping. I lost my mucus plug on Wednesday and was dilated to a 1 1/2cm on Tuesday. But my cervix isn't thinning or anything yet. Other than that no. I still haven't had that "nesting" feeling yet either. I wonder if I will. 
Belly Button in or out? Out, it is messed up forever! Haha
Wedding rings on or off? Off. Not because it's too small. Just because I don't really feel like wearing it and it's so hot, I want the least amount on me as possible! 
Happy or Moody most of the time: both. This week has been a roller coaster! I am happy and excited one day and then the next I am a mess! Not because of the baby but for other reasons. So it's been a lot of ups and downs. 

Looking forward to: hopefully seeing family this weekend and my appt on Friday. I'm so looking forward to meeting our little girl of course too. I cannot wait to see her and name her and be a mommy to her! So exciting.