Well it's been a long time apparently since we posted anything. We had a couple good kid stories in the last week and were thinking of how we might preserve them for posterity. Then we thought: "Hey, don't we have a blog?"
Humiliation from two 6 year olds:
I ran a 5k obstacle course the other week (RNGracing.com). This one was called a "Run and Gun". We got to carry some pellet-firing guns that look just like an M-4. What a great idea. Running, obstacle-ing, and shooting. After the race, we all received t-shirts and a set of commemorative dog-tags. I was completely unprepared for the conversation when I arrived home. Begin transcript:
Twins: Daddy! We missed you. Where were you all day?
Me: I was out doing very manly things, running, jumping, climbing, shooting with my friends. It was all very manly to be sure.
Twins: Oh, so they gave you a necklace? (pointing at dog tags)
Me: Uh, well. Yes, but they're very maaanly. Yes, a manly necklace made from the highest grade, strongest steel.
Twins: Oh, so they gave you the necklace because you won?
Me: Well, no, uh, we didn't win the race. It was more of a [clear throat] participation prize.
Twins: Oh, so who won, Daddy?
Me: I, uh, don't know.
Twins: Why don't you know?
Me: Because we finished too far back to see who actually won - NOW GO TO YOUR ROOM, I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!!
You will never see a takedown as brutal as that.
---------- Story 2: Joss and the Beautiful Game ----------
For the uninitiated, the Beautiful Game is soccer. And all three kids are playing soccer for the first time this season. I'm coaching Joss and his team of 3-4 year olds. Laurie is coaching Bethany and Melody and their team. Last Tuesday was Joss' third practice ever. I've spent time (not much) teaching the kids to kick, dribble and pass in the back yard, but I was unprepared for Tuesday.
At the end of practice I divided the team in two for a scrimmage, 4 vs 4. One of Joss' teammates immediately decided practice was over and left. Another one is only three and she enjoys admiring how pink her socks are most of the time. The final member is older, but still new to the game and wasn't ready to run after the ball. That left Joss pretty much alone against a team of 4.
The assistant coach, seeing Joss' predicament, started the match rolling the ball towards Joss to give him an advantage. Joss ignored it, looking instead at the sky while the thundering herd of 4 players took it around him and headed for the goal. I yelled at Joss and told him to go take it away (luckily, one of the few exercises we've successfully practiced with such a young group). Joss looked at me, then the ball, and put on a resolute face I don't know I've ever seen in him. He charged. He caught the crowd at the goal line, took the ball and turned up field. He sprinted, dribbling the ball with him and Ronaldo'd his way to the goal. Scoring with at least 5 yards of empty field behind him. My jaw hit the grass. I wanted to jump and cheer, but I'm the head coach - need to not play favorites.
The teams reset. The ball was rolled in a neutral fashion and the other team grabbed it first. Joss quickly took it away and repeated his previous trick. He trotted back, panting, and said "Daddy, I ran fast and I scored TWO GOALS. The other team has NO GOALS. I'm tired and it's time for them to score." He made good on his promise and let them score three goals while he happily trotted beside them.
That's endearing and all for a 4 year-old.
But when he's 10 or so he's gonna learn why communism is bad.
It's the second Ronaldinho dummy
11 months ago
