Throughout the beginning of Baylee's diagnosis and then treatment there were so many things to fight for such as how she should be treated, insurance companies refusing to pay for those treatments, doctors wanting to use treatments that weren't effective, etc. At this point Baylee is doing amazingly well. I was so worried in the beginning that it would be years before she could function properly if at all because doctors know so little about OMS and every child is different. I was preparing for the worst. Now she is right back where she should be and even advanced in some areas developmentally. It is simply a miracle. I have no doubt in my mind of the Lords hand in her speedy recovery. I've heard so many stories from other families battling OMS where they were unable to get a diagnosis let alone treatment for several months, and their children are still on the path of recovery and probably will be for a long time. I even spoke with one lady who was unable to get a diagnosis for her son, and now because of Baylee's news article they finally know what's wrong, 12 years later. Baylee had a diagnosis in a matter of days and then the treatments began within the week. There was just miracle after miracle and I am certain that it was a direct result of inspired men and women who heeded the spirits prompting and inspiration. Baylee now has a shot at leading a normal and fulfilling life for the most part. Something she might not have had, had things gone differently.
It's hard to explain the emotional roller coaster that our family has experienced throughout this process. It was easy to go from being horribly discouraged and depressed to completely grateful and in awe of the miracles unfolding around us in a very short time. To be so frustruated with the situation, but at the same time learning so much about personal strength, the strength of prayer and faith, the blessing of a wonerful family, and the complete comfort in knowing that your family is in the Lord's hands and that this trial is going to turn you into whoever He needs you to become.
Now that things are slowing down, and Baylee's treatmets are pretty much routine, it's hard to know what to do with myself. I still feel like I need to be fighting for something with the same perserverance and verocity as before. Baylee's road to full recovery is far from over, but the majority of our worst fears are now gone. I've been thinking a lot about this feeling of uneasiness as things have been becoming less emotionally trying, and wondering what it is that I should be doing now. I've come to the realization that this feeling I've been having is an opportunity to harness this new found strength and use it to do the Lord's will. To put myself to whatever task He has for me and to do the best that I can to serve. That is why we have trials. It's to make us stronger so that we can be more steadfast in our testimonies and more productive and perserverant as individuals. So that we can more effectively bring to pass the Lord's work as a church. By this I don't mean that I need to be striving for something monumentous, just that I now have a different perspective and understanding of life and my role in it. I can now be a better mother, wife and friend. I can strive harder to teach my children to gain testimonies of thier own, and to have their own personal strengh. I can think less about myself and more about the people around me who might need my help, even if that's something as simple as a visit from a friend. I have the blessing now of being able to empathise with people who are going through tough times, and to have a better understanding of how I can help them through those trials. And most importantly, I have a stronger testimony of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, and the everlasting power of the Atonement, and I can use that to help others to come to that same knowledge through my example. As of now I am far from accomplishing these things, but I think that I am closer now than I was before, and for that I am so grateful.
