ECLIPSEBABY

Yesterday was fuuuun fun fun ! went to my cousin’s house to get pampered (traditional body scrub+massage)… it felt soooo good.. *stare into space*… hmmm then I went to Krish’s, and later on that night, along with Wi2t, we went to Blenger Burger @Senopati (again!)… hmmm nyam nyam nyam

Yayah (my housemaid) went home this morning, her sister is ill; gosh I hope it’s nothing serious. Wishing her a speedy recovery and hoping that Yayah would come home a.s.a.p! *crossing my fingers*

hmph gotta organize this week's gathering (M.inc)... disuruh Nippown.. katanya kalo aku ndak mau, aku ndak dikasi oleh2 dari bali.. AAAND this package from Rifi. Daym.. huhuhu pake diancem,,,, hihihi... yaudahlah ndak papa.. heheh kangen ma my girlfriends \(^o^)/

Arief Yanindra Pohan, you are, by far, one of the BEST things in my life. I love you (AND your family!!!) so much, always been and always will. Thankyou, for being a huge part of my life. You'll always have your very own special place in my heart.

"I Love You, Goodbye"

Wish I could be the one
The one who could give you love
The kind of love you really need
Wish I could say to you
That I'll always stay with you
But baby that's not me
You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a lie
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

I hope someday you can
Find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you
I don't really wanna go
But deep in my heart I know this is the kindest thing to do
You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be
Who'll give you something better
Than the love you'll find with me
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need
But that would be a crime
I know I'd only hurt you
I know I'd only make you cry
I'm not the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Leaving someone when you love someone
Is the hardest thing to do
When you love someone as much as I love you

Oh I don't wanna leave you
Baby it tears me up inside
But I'll never be the one you're needing
I love you, goodbye

Baby, its never gonna work out
I love you, goodbye

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had this long conversation... and the song seems to describe it well (80%-ish), so there u go. (its almost 3 in d morning n i'm unable 2 write my own words, i'm too busy crying and smiling at d same time, so give this lady a break)

it was the best closing ever. gak salah gue milih orang. Love u, furball.

i used to thought i can do this :

Waiting Forever
by Vacie, NSW

The sky was grey, the waves were green,
I was alone, where have you been?
The rocks were black, the sea gulls white,
I was alone, alone all night.
Why did you leave? Will you ever return?
The sky will turn black, the fire will not burn...
But forever I will wait, forever here I'll stay,
Wait for you to come back, all night and all day.
You will never come back, but nor will I leave.
I'll faithfully wait, always hope and believe.

-----------------------------------------------------

guess forever means 1-and-a-half year.

hey i probably could've stay longer if d relationship was maintained properly! and God knows it takes two to make things work. i cant do it alone. not anymore..

so make way for d new one :

If
by Sam, WA

If you are going to love me,
love me deeply.
If your going to break my heart, then break it all.
If you're going to care,
Care for me completely.
If you decide not to hold me,
Then just let me fall.
If you are going to stay,
Then stay forever.
And if you want to leave,
Then do it today.
If you are going to change,
Then change for the better.
And if you are going to talk,
Then please mean what you say.

--------------------------------------------------------

Honey, we seriously gotta talk.

welkom bek , SENAZ !! *huuuggg* and makasih yaa oleh2nyaa... get well soon, we got a lotta catching up 2 do this weekend !!!

uhhh THANK GOD d midterm is OVER !!! now i have 2 whole weeks to do absolutely nothing. being my old sluggish self. sounds perfect to me! heheheh..

ok, me, listen up!! u do ur paperworks starting next monday n finish it by d end of next week, THEN u can buy that big pint of Baskin&Robbins n go to a day spa n spoil yourself. Deal?? deal.

mmmmmm...... ice cream.....

W E A R Y

Don't you think it's past your bedtime
Though sleep may be hard to find
Just come and tuck yourself in
Under the sheets of my mind

I'm the dreamer for tonight
I'm the pillow by your side
I'm the moonlight peeking in
And I'm the weary wearing thin

Though nightmares may appear
In the middle of your dreams
Among the noise listen, hear
Those monsters aren't what they seem

I'm the dreamer for tonight
I'm the pillow by your side
I'm the moonlight peeking in
And I'm the weary wearing thin

Can I dream what you dream?
Can I see what you see?
In a mind so deep
Is there no one but me?
Wake up from this sleep
Before it gets too real
And you promise me
Something you can't keep

!!! SHOP ‘TIL YOU DROP !!!

Gilaaaaa.. gue ke PIM 2x.. tadi sore nemenin mama beli kebaya buat kawinan, trus tau2 gue nyangkut di Chic Simple , Icons and 1 brand yg mirip2 Icons itu deyh.. and gue beli gak cuma 1, gak cuma 2, tapi EMPAT, sodara2!! two night gowns: 1 lil black dress n d other 1 is in burgundy. And 2 tops: One with bright colors, n d other one is a black babydoll with laces like lingerie *love at first sight* ! Worth every penny ! I am soooo happy !!! heheheh its been awhile since I last shop for clothes.

Went home, tried on those clothes, trus frea dateng n nyobain baju dia (dibeliin a cute purple top) trus kepengen night gowns like mine, so dad gave her money n dia minta ditemenin ke PIM.. AGAIN!!!?? Shite.. akhirnya gue ma Nala nemenin dia bli baju. 3jam dapet 1baju doang! Nyet! Tapi gapapa lah. Worth it kok. She ended up buying 1 lil black dress yg ada manik2nya. Classic n classy ! saya yg milih.. heheheh… trus kasian si Nala, nemenin cw2 blanja.. mana sempet blanja underwear pula, jadilah Nala ditanya2in pendapat ttg which bra is nicer than d other.. hahahahah ! kacian ! eh tapi dia mah kayanya seneng2 aja tuh ! huuuh ! *poking nala*

I took those kids to dinner at Soto Betawi @PIM. Yumm… I am so starving. Lately pola makan gue ngaco bener2 ngaco… gotta get my eating habit back on track nih.

Hadoooooh programming gimana iniiiiii ????!!!!! *mulai menggila*

Tired of doing nothing all day, I went to Krishna’s. Dimpol n Tusil ware already there. We ordered McD. I ate a LOT ! man I’m stuffed. Then came Iyus Khiya n Yara. Packed ! hehe .. then we went to lapten, n off again ! to PS. By foot. *yeeesh !* Aaand I ate again. What a pig. This time its sushi ! mmm yummm.. *duh jadi kangen SUSHI NOBU*

Back to lapten, d place were more crowded than when we left it. Had a great nite. Could’ve been better though, if it weren’t for a slight annoyance that’s not even worth mentioned here.

And today I woke up with a headache, n my student were already waiting for me downstairs. With a couple of yellow flowers she picked out of her neighbor’s yard. Hehehehe … she stole it for me… heheheheh … how thoughtful… hehehheheh

Hey Frea brought the Health Spaces book ! she borrowed it from dad’s friend. Great ! hope that would pump my spirit of doing programming today ! *crossing my fingers*

we-with ,andre, tusil, /me, aryo, alwin *thx 4 d cd man!*, krishna, yanu, dimpol, kya (^o^)v 

dammit i need some sleep ...

Spent d afternoon ‘til late after midnight with Dimas, catching up what we left off since couple of months ago. He’s still seeing Yoshi *or may I say, BACK to seeing her! hehehe*. I hope both of u will soon find what you’ve been looking for in each other. Best wishes for you both!

I talked to Dewi the other night. She noticed my grammar is getting worse *blush*. She recently broke up with Simon. They went out for 7 months, n she actually thought he’s d one she’d spend d rest of her life with. I used to thought about d same thing with Rifi, but I realized, the higher d expectations, d more it will hurt when u fall. So I decided to stop taking things for granted. From now on I should just try n hope for the best, n prepare for the worst.

Talking is easy. Dewi told me several times to stop doing this. This isn’t a healthy relationship. Richie said d same thing in meaner version. Everybody said d same thing. It’s easy to talk like that coz they’re not in my position *n living OUR history* where it’s so friggin hard to let go a very big part of your life. I already lose half my life (YPM) n I’m not ready to lose d other half. Although I’m not sure whether or not I still have it right now..

~and after all that’s been said n done, you’re just a part of me I can’t let go~
… well at least not yet.

IT'S OFFICIALLY OVER.

funny, i thought i'd be able to exhale n move on, but a line from the letter addressed to me felt like a stab thru your chest, n i almost cried if it wasnt for Mario. *thanks man*

imma start with making babysteps now. it would take quite some time, but i'm willing to try. Who knows, maybe God has bigger plans for me.

Everything happens for a reason.

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"Pick Yourself Up"

Nothings impossible I have found
For when my chin is on the ground
I pick myself up, dust myself off, start all over again

Don't lose your confidence if you slip
Be grateful for a pleasant trip
And pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again

Work like a soul inspired till the battle of the day is won
You may be sick and tired but you'll be a man my son
Don't you remember the famous man who had to fall to rise again?
They picked themselves up, dust themselves off and started all over again

-----------------------------------------------------------

HOLD ON, BE STRONG, MOVE ON, GOODBYE.

Bonny drove me home from campus, and stayed ‘til 0630pm (he had a meeting at Bugs Café). I taught him to play the first few bars of Alicia Keys’ “If I ain’t got you”. It took him a good one hour to finally get d hang of it. See, don’t underestimate us piano players! It’s not as easy as it seems, now, huh?

Watched American Idol after Sex n the city *which I watched with my DAD. Felt weird watching people doing it in front of your parent. Sure he’s cool n all, but still!* Ooh back to AI: I’m rooting for Constantine & Anwar! They’re *as Simon puts it* astonishing! As for the girls, I love Vonzell. I used to love Nadya, but lately she’s rather disappointing. And she’s really, really too gorgeous, people just stop taking her (n her real talent) seriously. Or was it just me?

i miz this baby!!! see there's me *couldn't keep my hands off him*.. and baby Raja.. and d one in yellow shirt is his mom -mbak Santi- (a year older than me!).. and of course, my mom *top right* 

monday bloody monday.. 2 lazy kids in matching shirts, watching Friends all day.. 

Woke up on time, just to shut the alarm n went back to sleep. *I’m SO not a morning person*. Dad called n woke me up for d 2nd time. Went downstairs for breakfast, got no desire to come to school, so I went to Krishna’s instead. Ordered McD’s Choco Sundae n watched 6 old episodes of Friends in a row. My neck cramped successfully. Copy couple of music videos: Kings of Convenience, Do As Infinity, KISS –the OTHER Kiss, this one’s from Japan(?)* , Jamiroquai, Tahiti 80 aaaaand last but not least, P-Squad, d one where there were couple of Laptenerdz (Luigi Krishna Andre Chino Indra..) !! and bukan sekedar penampakan sekilas lho sodara2!! Mwauehauehauehauehuaeauehaueh.. our rollerblading buddies CAN do some major bboyin shit! Hauehauheau *peace*

Ngomong2 maap2 nih buat Yanu n d rest of d gank, .. yayangnya *aka Krishna* ujung2nya stuck dirumah gue, ga jadi ke rumah Aryo.. bwahahahahah don’t blame me! Dia yg keenakan gak mau pulang! ahUehuahuaeuahe

Oooh and welcome back mommy! I c u bought my sister another converse shoes. Pink! Cute one. What didja get fer me??? I didn’t see another *new* shoebox laying around in this house. U better come up with sumtin good, mom.

I finally wrote my resignation letter and handed it to the school’s administration on 6am yesterday, accompanied by Krishna, n after that we went to dinner at Dharmawangsa Square’s Sushi Nobu. I ate too much, my head got dizzy n heavy n I almost slept during the movie (we watched The Ring 2 @Wijaya). Went back to my house, watch tv n stuff, and all of a sudden its 3.30am. Time flies when you’re having fun *wink wink*

Now I really have to go work on my programming. Target for today is to finish 1st, 2nd and start workin on the 3rd chapter. Lost of work to do, I know, not to mention dad needs help on his 3 pages of Executive Summary. I’ll c what I can do. It’s kinda hard to concentrate with these huge red n painful zits on my right cheek n chin that keeps throbbing like crazy.

My auntie who works as a teacher for Theory in the same school just called, she wanted to make sure I’m doing ok. She went through the same thing many years ago, and she also told me some inside-stuff of what really happened to some people who went through the same problem as me. I was a bit shocked to hear her story. That place is a disaster waiting to happen. That is NOT the same place I used to love n cared about. The place has lost its real meaning. It’s just plain sad.

I was eating my lunch in front of the telly when Atinna n her mom came. I wasn’t expecting them at all *thank God I wore something decent* ! Atinna gave me a jar of cookies, then sat quietly n let her mom do the talking. Tante Reita told me that when she gave my sms to Atinna last night, she started crying, and decided to resign from the school too, which is a pity, cause she passed the exam for 3rd grade. She said Atinna refuse to study without me, and chose to study someplace else, probably a school for pop music, where they won’t force you to study techniques like crazy. Me? I am so touched I almost cried when I listened to her mom *sniffles* I hugged her precious daughter while tried to convince her that everything’s gonna be just fine n I’ll always gonna be here for her whenever she needs me. I even offered her to come each Saturday, n study her choice of music together. She finally able to smile *which she hasn’t done since yesterday, says her mom* n even chatted with me, laughing. God I love that kid n her family. I really hope she won’t lose her passion for music just because of this. I’ll try my best not to let it happen.

She’s SO cute, she wave at me ‘til d car drove out of sight.

Then Clarisa called, asking me how long I’m gonna be away, and asked me to come back to school a.s.a.p n promised her to be her teacher again. Gosh all the attention is killing me even more.. They made it harder for me to let go *in a good way!* ..Well at least they made me realize how much I love my job, and how much my cute lil students meant for me.

It’s overwhelming. I am so blessed. Thank You God.

yesterday was fun, although we ended up sitting at the bar @Planet Hollywood. d place was packed n d smoke made my eyes sore, but all in all, i had a great nite. nice lasagna, superb snowball *still one of d best one i ever tasted*, great music *80s n early 90s, almost every song in Eclipse's playlist back then..* and d friendliest bartenders in town *besides Jamz's*. Dad really wanna go inside n see the event, and because he's paying for d bills, i gave up my seat at the bar *sigh* and followed him inside. we had to stand on our toes to see the show. Magenta played well, i saw Cherry, d female vocalist, still as good as she used to be *she used to help Eclipse perform too*. Pungky wasnt there to sing with Magenta. He said cause he made it to d big 20, the Indo Idol people forbid the contestant to sing anywhere this month. Good luck PQ! we're rooting fer you!

on my way to the car, i saw Manda *Wer's ex girlf* with her boyf. We chit-chatted for awhile. She looked more petite than before, but still pretty.

I just finished teaching Nia. She achieved a Prize for Good Interpretation in Character Pieces for her play in Alfred d'Auberge : Swiss Song. *real proud*.. now we;ll just have to work on her piece cause she'll be performing in the school's concert. My other student, Aileen, also get d same prize for different song. I am so happy, most of our hard work finally paid.

Next thing to do : Write a resignation letter, fill out forms to transfer my students, and voila! off to a new chapter of my life. Wish me luck, guys.

You scored as Carrot Orange. You are carrot orange. You are different and a little bit strange. Your style is your own and you don\'t like to follow the mainstream.

Which Crayon Color Are Youu??
created with QuizFarm.com

first of all, congratulation to Senaz, she finally get her MVV (The Netherlands' residence permit).. And she now is a proud owner of her own website , www.senaz.com (her hubby got it for her). A quite interesting website, consist of her daily routine called Blabberbox, her Architectural-related journal *mostly reviews n news*, and linked straight to her hubby's blog *mostly bout legal issues, law: behind the scene* ^_^'' ..

I'm so happy for her, but also gonna miss her a lot cause with that 4-year residence permit, she wont be coming home as often as before. Btw she's coming home this April 14th.. YAY! oh i can't wait to see her!

ok. this morning i came down d stairs n found a package wrapped nicely, with a lil card signed by
Atinna, one of my lovely student. its a thank-you gift from her. i am so touched by her cute scribblings.. n i realize how much i'm gonna miss her.. *sniff* she's already like a lil sister to me.. both her and Alissa, her sister, who's also my former student. Clarisa also gave me a gift yesterday, a cute shirt with flowers printed across the chest. I MISS MY STUDENTS *sob*

i also received couple of phonecalls n sms' from my students *and their parents* who thanked me for teaching them these past few years. i cant help feeling so happy n touched by their attentions.. i really hope i'm doing the right thing.

Sandy told me that tomorrow the former students of RL class are having a gathering @Pizza Hut Thamrin *near Sarinah*.. nothing serious, just hangin out n have some fun. Sounds interesting. Too bad my sister wont be home til sunday, and i'm not feelin like going there alone.

Mom went to Singapore this morning for a seminar at Ritz-Carlton, then off to Malaysia for another seminar, and will be home this next monday. Have fun mom!! i missed u already..

i've been listening to The Killers' "Mr.Brightside".. and i found myself strangely related to the song. literally. kinda. shit i dunno.. i dunno.. *be still my beating heart.. huhuhuh*

what else what else.. hmm.. Oh yeah, Rifi told me that he'll go to a 1-year study program *i forgot what it called or what its all about but i'm pretty sure it has sumtin to do with graphic designing*.. Wishing him d best of success!

its been a while since i go out with my family. i wanted to take them out dinner this weekend but frea n mom's outta town so d dine-out 'll have to wait til next week. Dad asked me to go to this Classic Disco Fever -Party at Planet Hollywood. Sounds fun, lookin fwd to it. *i've no other plans fer tonite, and freebies always worth a shot*

have a great weekend everybody! peace outtt!

..lookin back over my shoulder..


Dulu, jaman gue baru mulai ngajar, gaji 300-400rb rasanya udah WAH bgt.. gue langsung traktir my family out to dinner.. kasi pocket money ke my siblings.. pokonya I felt so rich, inside out.
Then comes d time when gaji gue sebulan bisa sampe 3jt-an (ngajar, ngeband..) yet itu hampir selalu abis untuk hal2 gak penting dan gue masih ngerasa uang segitu tuh entah knapa bisa kurang mulu. Untung my mom always nagih tiap awal bulan, suru nyetor buat ditabung, jadi rite now ada tabungan yg hopefully bisa mbantu gue survive setelah resign next week.

Tadi gue dah bagiin rapor. Seenggaknya kewajiban gue satu lagi dah selesai. Ambil salary, -yes my last salary- *wince*… dan.. uang yg selama ini suka gue pandang sebelah mata, hari ini berasa banyaaak bgt, cukup buat bikin gue bersyukur. Balik ke rasa yg kaya dulu. Gue langsung pisahin buat ditabung, n sisanya buat kasih ade2 gue, yayah *lovely housemaid*, n rencananya sih mau buat ngajak family dine-out.

Sedih bgt.. apalagi tadi beberapa orangtua murid keberatan dengan keputusan gue buat resign, dengan berbagai alesan yg bikin gue rada terharu.. *hiks* tapi it’s a decision I must take, demi kebaikan gue juga. Well gue tetep bikin open-house every Saturday buat murid2 yg masih butuh gue. Nia bahkan udah fix minta privat starting this Saturday. Yah ini pengalaman lah, jalanin aja, krn gue masih percaya bahwa everything happens for a reason. God probably have bigger –n hopefully better- plans fer me. *optimistic mode: ON*

Secretly – skunk anansie

I've been biding my time
been so subtly kind,
I've got to think so selfishly, 'cos you're the face inside of me..

I've been biding my days,
you see.. evidently it pays,
I've been a friend, with unbiased views, then secretly lust after you

So now you feel rusty You're bored & bemused
You wanna do someone else, so you should be by yourself,
instead of here with me
secretly..

Trying hard to think pure,
bloody hard when I'm raw,
you're talking out so sexually, 'bout boys & girls & your friggin' dreams.

So now you feel lusty, you're hot & confused..

You wanna do someone else, so you should be by yourself,
instead of here with me,
secretly..

So now you've been busted, you're caught feeling used..

You had to do someone else,
you should've been by yourself,
instead of here with me,
secretly..

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i was gonna put D'sound lyrics: Tattoed on my mind, but i decided to put this up instead, for this one've been tattoed on MY mind fer quite some time now...

Matsuri Festival @Senayan, 3yrs ago 

God bless you.. you make me feel brand new..

duuh mati gayaaaa seharian dirumah gak ngapa2in... akhirnya maenan PICASA 2.. trus.. suddenly dad wanted to go c an RnB band.. my friend's band, called After Nine. Usually plays at News Cafe, Kemang.. but we found out that Ade (one of dad 's fave lead vocalist) has resigned n now plays at NYC-senayan, with his new band. so we went there, d 2 of us. nyampe sana,,, ya oloooo isinya brondong semuaaa.. anak2 smp sma... goodness gracious,,, kita berdua jadi yg paling tua disana... mana pada petakilan semua.. ngliatnya sampe pusing,...

anyway, masih lebih bagus pas Ade masih sama anak2 After9.

tadi ,, kaya dulu lagi,,, yg he gave a shoutout to us. mereka bawain lagu2 RnB upbeat2 n banyak hiphop juga, but khusus buat gue,, tadi mereka nyanyi BoyzIImen yg MAMA.. "to all d ladies in d house who someday'll become 1.. to Fenina especially." n gue cengar cengir aja.. duh mana diliatin pula ama brondong2.. dikira gue dateng ama om2 kali yey..

trus.. dad dulu kan seneng request Sisqo:Thong Song *ohh my dad..* and mereka tadi gave their best effort buat mainin lagi, after all this time tu lagu dah ga pernah dimaenin.. this one's special fer dad. tsk tsk.. heheheh

he's nice..

here's another one. hey whaddaya expect? there's not much to do around here.. 

Finally watched Lemony Snicket’s : The Series of Unfortunate Events. *thanks krish* Pretty good. Love Sunny d widdle kiddo. While at PIM i forgot to stop by at d bookstore to checkout new comics err i mean architecture-related books.

Tante Roosie dropped us bags of chocolates.. she always does that everytime she came home from a long trip abroad. so nice of her... considering she’s married to my mom’s ex-boyf. I hope everyone’s cool with it. i’m cool with her daughter, n we enjoy our parent’s weird history, so we’re doing ok, i guess.

Rifi had some issues with his band. Hope they can work things out.

I’m running out of moccha ice cream bars *weep*

i missed my bestfriends... *cengeng mode: ON* 

my bestest friend and my worst enemy.. hehehhehehe love u beelzebub *smooches* 

make up artist : Adrian +62 855 102 8009 

me and ara.. hope her dad rest in peace..  

this new PICASA2 is pretty cool.. heheheh