My Wish List

Okay, so this is really my "Wish in one hand, pee in the other, see which fills up the fastest" list.

But gee, Virginia, if there really IS a Santa Claus, I so want this (and I'm only putting this ONE thing on my wish list to prove I'm not greedy):

That's right--the dream of every boy and girl: one's very own taxidermied bat! With jeweled eyes even and perched inside a faux Victorian bird cage made from salvaged vintage metal!

How cool is this? THIS would be perfect for my house--I love this kind of creepy handicraft.

It's offered by "ravenofskys" on this Etsy page, the source of the photos above. (I did tweak the pics just a bit for better clarity.) It's had 1602 viewings so far, but at $450, no takers since its initial posting. (Not sure when that was, but I found it on Nov. 13; it now shows a listing date of Nov. 17.) Ravenskys is the Etsy moniker of one Raven Young, a gothic artist who describes herself as a "female outsider artist from Berks County Pennsylvania."

If she showed up outside on my doorstep with this, she'd be an "insider" real quick.

And if you came to my place, saw this, and said you liked it, you would probably be my friend for life.

_______________________

"HOLLYWOOD KARMA" Sorta-related Link: Plague of rabid bats hits L.A.!

Beer limits lead to a strike

According to recent news reports, limitations on worker's access to free beer while at work has led to a strike at a Danish brewery. Scores of warehouse workers, production employees, and truck drivers are participating in the work stoppage. Read more here.

At last, a revolt everyone can understand! (A certain old Beastie Boys frat-boy anthem is playing in my brain right now.)

What's this post at a blog like this without some monsters and beer illustrations? Here:

Image source here.

Clip art by "Mister Elements." Image source here.

I saved the best for last. Here's an impressive lagersaur by UK artist Andy Council:

Image source here.

Neptune's bedbug

Here's a recently found specimen of one VERY strange creature, the Bathynomus giganteus. They normally live deep in ocean waters. This thing, which looks like a tick designed by H.R. Giger, is creepy-looking enough to give one nightmares! Just imagine finding one in bed with you...

Giant Isopod (Bathynomus giganteus) Ventrum

Originally uploaded to Flickr by Littoraria

Strange But Lovely Creatures: Big Moths

This blog is about my taste in the unusual, in things horrible, strange, or tacky, and about my attraction to low humor. Well, I've got no cheap jokes for this post, but I do have a coupla nice pics of two weird beasties that could bump into you in the night.

I love looking at bugs, and the odder the better. On our trip last month to Kentucky and Arkansas, the Voodoo Queen and I saw some large and lovely moths. Not Mothra size, dammit, but jumbo-sized compared to most we see:



I know the bottom one is a Luna Moth, but not the name of the one shown in the top picture. I have never seen one of its kind before, and have seen a Luna Moth only once before in my life.

I was tempted to capture and keep both as specimens, but was persuaded not to by my better half. In fact we helped the top moth get up off the ground and fly back to patch of eggs it had laid high on the wall of the building we found it at.

Wouldn't want dreams of Mothra hunting me down to make a specimen outta me!

Okay, I lied when I said I had no cheap joke for this post. I remember this old chestnut--

Question: What's a specimen?
Answer: An Italian astronaut!

My Stuff Saturday: Spending time with Linda

Above is a clock that is on the wall next to my computer. I cherish it, because it was painted by my late friend Linda Miller. She did a magnificent, detailed job.

Every character on the face was someone Linda and I (two classic horror film fans) mutually considered a "friend" if entertaining folk from the fictional film universe can be considered "friends." Do you recognize all the characters, and can you name all the actors behind the roles?

My stuff Saturday

This bloggin' habit is a bit tricky. It doesn't pay anything, so you don't want it to become too much of a chore. On the other hand, if you only post when the spirit moves, you sometimes don't post often enough to get people to visit regularly, and your audience dwindles. (And God knows I need an audience.) Well, ya can always post movie reviews, but, hell, everyone does that. SO, I'm gonna share fantastic factoids on Thursdays, and posts about about weird stuff I own on Saturdays. And post on everything else at other, unscheduled, times. (Like the recent, first-time Dracula Con in Winber, PA, more on Wonderfest in Kentucky, and a trip to a costume shop.)

One thing in all "my stuff" is a full set of 1979 Alien bubblegum cards. I love having them. I was very young in 1979, and Alien scared the crap outta me. It's still one of the most atmospheric, claustrophobic, and suspenseful films I've ever seen. I rushed to buy the cards when they came out. I wanted to preserve those amazing images, in those days before most people had access to a vcr, to remind me how I felt watching the movie.


The photos above are ones I borrowed from someplace on the web years ago. My cards are all now in an album, although the stickers, gum, and wrappers are long gone. (Wish I still had the stickers and one wrapper.)

You can imagine how excited I was to meet the movie's title monster at the recent Wonderfest con! He was shopping in the dealer's room, but when he realized I'd recognized him (his sunglasses didn't fool me!), he left. I caught up with him in the display room and asked for his autograph, and THIS is how he responded:


In case you can't tell what he's doing, he's flipping me the bird:

Guess some celebrities still cop an attitude, even when they aren't a box-office draw anymore. Jerk. I bet none of the other stars from that film act like that toward fans, even though none of THEM have worked much in recent years EITHER!

I hear the alien from Mac and Me gladly signs autographs.

Creepy crawlies in the news

(Or, "How I tied several unrelated news items together." But I digress. Ahem.)

So many new items have come out recently that have something to do with creepy crawly beasties, or remind me of them, that I'm weirded out by it all!

Speaking of being reminded of "them", actor James Whitmore passed away; he starred in the sci-fi movie classic Them, about gi-normous ants (gi-ants?). One of the most versatile of American character players, he is probably known by those under 40 for his part in the film The Shawshank Redemption, and for Them by older folks. (Whitmore was once asked by a young actor just what he had done, and he replied, "Well, I saved the world from giant ants once.")

And Lux Interior, lead singer of the band The Cramps, died. His most famous song was likely Human Fly, with clever lyrics like "I've got 96 tears and 96 eyes."

Then Bill Gates made the news recently for bugging people--literally. He was speaking at a conference on the need to stop the scourge of malaria, and released a swarm of mosquitoes into the room.

"Malaria is spread by mosquitoes. I brought some. Here, I'll let them roam around. There is no reason only poor people should be infected."

Gates waited a while before telling the audience that the mosquitoes were free of malaria. Even as a philanthropist now doing good work with his money, he's still an arrogant nerd (and still releasing bugs, only not ones of the virtual kind.)

And finally, the fossilized bones of a long-extinct gigantic snake (bigger than the one seen in the movie Anaconda), was discovered. This species was so gargantuan it could have eaten people--if any had been around then. Almost too bad Gates wasn't.

And if all the above wasn't enough to weird me out, creepy, crawling Rod Blagojevich called me, wanting to be interviewed! Boy, he is desperate! ' Course, I turned him down. I won't talk to man who has ten time more hair on his head than I do.

Related old weird animal news: A RODENT AS BIG AS A BULL

GLOWING GREEN PIGS

At this recent post, I shared a picture of an albino alligator. (Or perhaps it was a colorless crocodile-- I can't keep them straight.) Anyway, I just found a photo of what might be its natural prey:

Cute and creepy at the same time, hunh? (Coincidentally, that's how my wife describes me.)

I sort of like how the reflected light in its left gives a zombie look. Bambi, by way of George Romero!

One more thing...

...the "thing" being another cool (and ghostly-looking) reptile!

I forgot that I had in my files a picture of an albino alligator. I had found it somewhere on the 'net; I forget where. But there it is.

I hope that the thing winds up taxidermied when it passes away (if it's still alive). I have fond memories of seeing "Big Arkie," a 13 foot, 500 pound alligator that was big attraction at the Little Rock Zoo when I was a child; I remember seeing him both alive and when he was dead, because when Big Arkie died in 1970 he was stuffed and put back on display at the zoo for another few years.

At the time of his death, he was thought to be the largest alligator in captivity in the western hemisphere. He'd been caught in 1952 in a flooded pasture near Hope, Arkansas.

His body, seen below, is now in a university reference collection in Arkansas and is no longer on display to the public. But a lot of Arkansans, and former Arkansans like me, sure have vivid memories of the big hulk.

Photo by Dr. Stanley E. Trauth

Now THIS would make a great pet!

This very large cane toad was found a few years ago in Australia, one of the biggest ever seen. About as big as a small chihuahua, it was dubbed "Toadzilla". I think it would make a great pet!

I've always been fascinated with weird beasties. The denizens of the amphibian, reptile, and insect worlds, being cold-blooded and hairless, are so fundamentally alien. I kept pet turtles as a kid, my older brother had snakes.

As a horror movie-loving kid, I was fascinated by the poster below when it was put in the COMING SOON window of the local theater:

When I was a small child, my grandparent's house had some concrete steps in back, and the bottom step had a hole in it. A toad lived in that hole for some time and as a kid I wondered if that toad would ever lunge out at me if I got too close to the hole.

The little guy seen in the photo below looks like he would. This toad was seen at the American Dime Museum in Baltimore. When the ADM closed last year, it sold off most of its collection of oddities. I could not afford to buy anything in their online auction, but I sure found a wealth of images. Alas, my computer crashed later and all my ADM images but one-- this one below-- were lost.


The stuffed-and-embellished toad above would truly be a cherished pet in my home. It's perfect: nice to look at, easy to care for, and makes no noise. No muss, no fuss!

An account of visiting the American Dime Museum, complete with another picture of the terrible-toothed horny toad, can be found here.

And a recent news about the discovery of the fossilized remains of a giant "devil toad" (complete with artist's rendering) can be found by clicking here.









While you're wearing out your finger checking out links , go here and here to see some photos of some dazzlingly odd, cannibalistic, real horned frogs!

Odd science and technology news

Microsoft IS Big Brother

Sex robots will appear in the near future

Flying robot used to track whales

Robot baby dinosaur: fancy toy or "artificial life form" pet?



Newly discovered species of giant rat found! (Would make a great pet!)


(Photo above from the Flickr account of James Calder. Bill Gates photo from the Flickr account of niallkennedy.)

Maine invaded by a giant blob!

As reported at the ABC News WMTW tv website:

"LEWISTON, Maine -- A large, mysterious blob has taken over a major sewer line in the city of Lewiston, leaving public works crews stumped as to how to budge it."

More here.

Ho ho oy!

A reader of TDSH sent this photo of Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer's cousin on his mother's side:

Hallowe'en gag

What do sea monsters eat for dinner?

Fish and ships!


When they aren't dancing with each other, that is.

(Hallowe'en Fun) Spots before your eyes!

Been meaning to get this posted sooner, but am being pulled several different ways right now. (You should see how long my earlobes are now! And the stretch marks on my nose-- hoo boy!). But I want to direct you to several blogs and sites that are making Hallowe'en more fun than previously thought humanly possible. In no particularly order, this de-capitated D-size cranium emPHATically endorses

Monster Rally

The Horror Blog

The Retropolitan Presents: Tales To Astonish

The Horrors Of It All

X-Entertainment

Classic Horror Lives

Horror Movie-A-Day

The Headless Hearseman

Dinosaur Casserole

(That last one is not a site of horror or the macabre, but an eccentric and funny blog. Go HERE for a very funny DC post that mixes Rhode Islanders, monsters, Charles Bronson, and dumplings.)

You'll have good time at any of the above-- so go already!

The Frozen Hallowe'en Robot

Hallowe'en is all about trick-or-treating and the friends you share the holiday with.

This is my friend Jim Bertges:

Jim loves monsters. He brings 'em to life. A top-notch model builder, he specializes in creating creatures of the fantastic. See his handiwork here.

Jim's written articles and built models for Modeler's Resource Magazine for 10 years. If you pick up any issue of MR after #7 or so, it's most likely that he's got something in there.

He's also written for Kitbuilders in the past and starting with the next issue, due out sometime in October, he'll be back building, gluing and painting in their pages.

Jim's also been in the "movie business" for more than 30 years and if you visit this site , you'll learn about the schlock film Demonwarp, a film he co-wrote. You can read about some of his exploits as a self-described "very low level, un-glamorous minion in show biz" at the site. As Jim says about this silly chilly-dilly, "We set out to make a crappy movie, and we did!" Demonwarp is good, goofy fun.

Jim, like yours grue-ly, keeps Hallowe'en is his little black heart all year 'round. So when chatting with him on the phone the other day, he could easily recall his childhood experiences on Hallowe'ens of long ago. He shared this "robot reminiscence" with me.

"A long time ago in a very cold and dark place (1958, Fairbanks, Alaska to be precise), it was getting toward Halloween time and my father, who was pretty creative, and good at building things, decided that I should be a robot for Halloween that year. He proceeded to collect an array of cardboard boxes and began cutting them and shaping them into the shape of a blocky 1950s style robot, albeit a junior sized one since I was all of 7 years old. The boxes were fitted to my legs and arms and the largest piece, the torso and head assembly fit over my head so no part of me could be seen. And to be honest, I couldn’t see much of anything out of the two eye ports either. With everything shaped and fitted, the finishing touch was to cover the entire outer surface of the robot body with foil. Back then we called it 'tin' foil and it may well have been made from tin, who knows. The final result was a gleaming silver, blocky, short robot, ready for Trick or Treat.

"At school, we were encouraged to wear our costumes on Halloween. This particular year the school decided not to organize the school wide costume parade they’d staged in past years and all costumed students were confined to their own classrooms. All except one. My teacher and several other teachers were so taken with my robot outfit that one of the teachers led me around the school, from room to room to display my Dad’s handiwork. It made me feel pretty special.

"That evening I was eager to get out and start collecting my candy. In Alaska at that time of year it gets dark pretty early, like around noon, so we had lots of dark time to go door to door. My father was out that evening so my mom helped me get ready and once I was covered head to toe in cardboard and foil, I grabbed my pillow case (standard trick or treat equipment in my family) and headed out. One thing you need to know about Fairbanks in 1958 in the area where I lived, the streets weren’t paved and we didn’t have sidewalks. Come October the dirt streets were frozen solid and the frozen yards just sloped down to the street’s edge and that was it. Well, I set out alone in my robotic finery and when I came to the first street I had to cross, my foil-covered feet slid out from under me and I landed hard on my can. I got up as best I could (it must have taken at least five minutes to get to my feet) and I waddled home crying, thinking I ruined the robot suit and my father would be mad. When I got back home, my mom helped me out of the robot legs got my boots on me and sent me back out into the frozen Halloween night as half a robot. At least I was the top half, that’s the best part to be.

"I wish I had some photographic record of that long ago Halloween, but unfortunately no pictures were taken. I have my memories, though and I’m glad to be able to share them."

Since Jim had no photo to share, you can look at homemade robot costumes here, here, here, and here.

Halloween masks of long ago

Here are some masks from the first seven decades of the twentieth century. Most are commercial items; three are promotional items. All were put out in late September/early October of their respective year of release.

The first DRIVE-IN SUPER MONSTERMANIA!

The Voodoo Queen and I recently attended the above event, and we both had a stupendously fun, retro-ridiculous good time!

Hell, any event where I can watch HORROR EXPRESS (for the half-dozenth time) and still get a big kick out of it is a terrific (terror-ific?) event! Nothing like a huge screen to make a movie a marvel. The Bert Gordon movies FOOD OF THE GODS and EMPIRE OF THE ANTS were a bigger thrill than I thought they'd be. I'd expected the tedium of something like FROGS, or TROG, movie dross from the '70s. But noooooo, they were very entertaining. And all in gorgeous color.

The event was at a theater where we had seen the original "The Blob" last summer, the Riverside Drive-In, about 45 minutes away. The ride itself was nice, taking us through some scenic parts of rural Pennsylvania. We got there early enough to meet people, and got to talk to several interesting fans of classic cheeseball horror/exploitation flicks. Friendly people like Art Ettinger and Jamie Summers, editors of Ultra Violent magazine. (They gave me issue 8, which has just come out, and I enjoyed quite a bit.) I also met Derek Anderson of the horror surf-rock band Forbidden 5. (The band will be playing locally in October with one of my favorite players of graveyard surf-rock, The Ghastly Ones.)

Over 150 people were there, which, for an event without any history or sizeable ad campaign, was pretty good. At least I thought so. George Reis, the man who dreamed up and organized the event, had hoped for more, and I can sympathize. But people came from Delaware, Illinois, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Pennsylvania and West Virginia, so the event seems to have begun with a solid start.

I was very happy to meet George; he was a friendly guy and enthusiastic about 1970s drive-in horror fare. (Even so, he seemed a little bit anxious at the start about the success of the event, understandably.) His selections were all very good. The audience both nights seemed to have a blast. (Jane and I certainly did!) No one stayed in the snack bar. People hooted after each film, and nearly all stayed through the program of four films (plus trailers) each night. (Perhaps the most defections came when Grave Of The Vampire began and during its screening, as it was somewhat slow, and a fairly faded print. And Grave was also the seventh of eight features screened.)

But Grave Of The Vampire was fun, having plenty of lurid elements (like a rape by the vampire in an open grave!) and a good performance by Michael Pataki (The Onion Field, Dracula's Dog) as the evil bloodsucker. And seeing it on the theater's large 35 by 50 foot screen made it a sight.

The faded quality of the print was unavoidable, as I doubt the original camera negative or even a fine-grain master still exists for this low-budget indie vampire film. We were lucky to see any print of it! The studios that made and/or own the rights to exploitation and schlock films aren't keen to strike rental prints when they do have elements to work with, since theater demand is practically non-existent. Often, they have to rent prints from other sources to supply the occasional revival screening.

The prints for DRIVE-IN SUPER MONSTERMANIA were from the collection of Harry Guerro , one of the partners of New Jersey company Exhumed Films. Harry, a guy young enough to have grown up with small-screen multiplexes, cable TV and video stores, surprisingly loves old-fashioned 35mm FILM, projected on a really big screen with some showmanship, bless him. As the website for Exhumed Films says, "Sadly, in a time of video/DVD, cable television and satellite dishes, the theatrical experience of watching horror movies has all but disappeared. The only fright flicks a film buff has any chance of seeing in the theaters are the slick, homogenized “teen” movies released by the major studios....Exhumed Films has worked diligently to re-capture the aura and atmosphere of the bygone horror double-feature."

If this event was any indication, they have thoroughly succeeded.

Another key person to the success of this event was Riverside Drive-In Theatre owner and projectionist Todd Ament. A cheerful, gracious guy to talk to, he was the first theater owner to say "yes" to George Reis's idea for the festival. Sadly, the drive-in isn't going to make Todd rich anytime soon, and the during most the autumn and winter he works elsewhere. If I had my way, he and every other drive-in operator would make a boatload o' money! (And he'd get even richer just for hosting DRIVE-IN SUPER MONSTERMANIA!)

Of course, none of these guys had the nicknames I put on their photos, but somehow it just seemed the schlockily-right thing to do. (Beats nicknaming someone "Pooty Put" or "Turd Blossom" as our Chief Executive has done.) I'm truly grateful to these three men for staging an event that made me feel sixteen and at the drive-in again. Except this time I actually watched the movies!

Looking forward to SON OF DRIVE-IN SUPER MONSTERMANIA in 2008!

Here are some more photos I took at this super cinematic celebration: