Ok, this one is pretty heavy, and personal.
On the last couple of days at Oak Cove I had left my phone in the car and didn't check it or charge it. I figured I was on vacation, and really, who ever calls me about anything important?
We returned home on July 5th, which was a Sunday. Sometime in the late afternoon Dave got a phone call from my mom, asking to speak to me. She had been calling my phone for the last day, but it was still dead. I immediately knew this call wouldn't be good news. She told me that Ezra, my nephew, had drowned in a pool on the 4th of July, and most likely wouldn't be able to revived. She went on to explain the details and that there was still the chance that he could live, but it would take a miracle. At that moment I knew he wasn't coming back to us--that he was gone. Even as I write about it a year later, I still feel shocked. It's hard to express the feelings that accompany an unexpected death, and I am definitely not able to do so adequately. The only thing I can say is that my heart broke for my sister and her husband, and their two daughters.
I also felt grateful for the memories I have of Ezra. We lived in California for all of his life, so we didn't see him often. But we saw him when we visited Utah, which was at least once a year. So I have impressions of him, that came with family get-togethers that included, but were not focused on him. But I do have one very distinct memory for which I am very grateful. A few months before Oak Cove we went to Utah for the wedding of my sister-in-law and her husband, Rachel and Lucas. We stayed at Dave's parents house, like we always do, but this time I did something I don't normally do. I took an afternoon by myself to go visit my family in Utah county. It was time when I could give undivided attention to my family, without being distracted by my family (i.e. my kids). I'm grateful to Dave for helping me take this chance. Anyway, I remember Christy was out running errands, so I met her at Target. She had her kids with her, and they were boisterous and excited to see me. I was delighted and a little surprised because I figured they didn't really know me too well, so why would they be excited to see me? But they are kids, and they were excited. I remember Ava had lots to say to me. Ezra didn't have quite as much to say, but he still was eager to tell me what was on his mind. It was fun to just pay attention to them. And they rode back to their house with me in my car. It's a simple, uneventful memory, but it's special to me because it was just me and them.
I also remember when their family got a kitten...I think it was for Christmas the year before? I think I remember Ezra just carrying that kitten around like it was a sack of potatoes, without any degree of gentleness at all. As I recall, the kitten was tolerant, but not too eager to be picked up or even noticed by Ezra, in particular.
I also felt touched by the out-poring of kind thoughts and words and monetary donations from so many friends and acquaintances. I was especially touched by friends of mine who reached out to my sister's family, whether financially or through a few words of sympathy, even though they don't know them personally. I felt in awe of the goodness of people.
I am grateful that Dave, the kids, and I could all go to Utah for Ezra's funeral. My faith was strengthened as Christy and Ryan bore powerful witness of their faith and assurance that God was with them and that Ezra is in good hands--His hands. I don't know how to express my feelings, except that it was powerful, and I came away comforted. It's not that the sadness was removed or replaced, but it was joined by feelings of faith and comfort in the promises of God. I saw with my own eyes both the strength and humility of relying on God's grace. It's my testimony that no matter what life brings, it's going to be ok because of His grace.
Ava and Ezra
