Loser

Season can't talk yet, but she's pretty good at sign language. I'm not positive who taught her this "loser" hand signal, but I'm pretty sure it a response to the Santa hat I forced onto her head.

Fans

Twilight totally ROCKED!

One Step Closer

Before I share an email with you that I received this evening, first let me reiterate my love for Dr. Pepper. I also want to express my shock (and slight amusement) that there are actually avid "soda pop collectors and enthusiasts" who are excited about all things soda related.

To be honest, I'm actually thinking about joining:


Hey there Cameron - was just reading your blog post about winning your Dr
Pepper Indiana Jones hat and thought I'd drop you a line. I'm the editor of
a newsletter called the Soda Spectrum Series (http://www.sodaspectrum.com).
Our publication is dedicated to soda pop collectors and enthusiasts.

For the upcoming edition I'm doing a brief blurb about the Indiana Jones
movies... How The Last Crusade was sponsored by Pepsi in 1989 (along with
some pics of the promotion they did) and about how Dr Pepper sponsored the
newest movie this past summer.

I was wondering if you would permit me to reprint your blog post about how
you won your Dr Pepper Indiana Jones hat - I think it's a fun little story
that our readers would find funny. Let me know if this would be ok and we'll
go from there.

Thanks so much for your time Cameron, and I hope to hear from you soon.

Regards,
Blair Matthews
Editor, Soda Spectrum Series
http://www.sodaspectrum.com


My reply:

Blair,

I have no problems with that, whatsoever. Would you mind sending me a copy of
the issue in which my tale appears? I'd greatly appreciate it.

And you don't have to mention how bad I thought IJ4 sucked.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvsMUjfHDAw

Cameron Daley

Fame and Fortune

So I've had this blog since last January and I haven't done this yet so I hope you'll forgive me. I promise this blog will not turn into a "Cameron is so cool and amazing" type of blog dedicated to all things cool about me (even though it kind of already is).

If you've known me for any length of time, you know that I've always "joked" about how I want to be famous. In fact, the line I'd use was "In seven years you're going to need a VIP pass just to see me." I started using that line about 10 years ago and if you've seen me lately, you know that you did not, in fact, need any sort of special permission and/or paperwork to see me.

I met my friend John Maxim (previously Henderson... you should ask him about THAT story if you haven't yet) while serving in England on a mission for my church. Our meeting is a funny story in and of itself, but I won't go into that here. John and I learned quickly that we both had a mutual love and respect for all things cinematic. This friendship blossomed into a passionate love triangle between me, John, and the movie theatre.

John and I both knew that we wanted to be famous and we felt the best way to achieve our goal was to be extremely entertaining. So we started out by paying $4000 to Century 16 movie theatre in Salt Lake so we could put up an advertisement on the big screen as part of their commercialized slide show playing before each movie. We got quite a bit of feedback from this attempt. We both started getting phone calls from people we hadn't heard from in years. They just wanted to tell us that they'd seen us on the screen before their movie. It was this taste of fame that made us want it even more.

We decided to make a movie titled Out of the Blue: Based on Actual Events. When Universal didn't call us and offer us a $5 billion dollar budget within two weeks of finishing our movie, we decided to try something else. We moved on to drawing a comic strip called "Out of the Blue". This comic ran in dozens of college newspapers all across the country for free. We didn't want money. We wanted people to know us and laugh at us and be entertained by us. This comic strip was the closest we'd come to accomplishing our goal. We started hearing people talking about our comic on campus. We received emails about our comic and we even had a few people write letters to campus newspapers trashing on our comics. It was awesome.


When we didn't get offered millions of dollars to continue our comic in thousands of newspapers around the globe, we moved on. A new radio station had just kicked off and John told me about how they didn't have a morning show... it was just a regular DJ. So one day (and I still don't know how John talked me into this) we went to the station, uninvited, and told the receptionist that we were their new DJ's for a morning show and that we were starting on Monday. I'm pretty sure we thought it would show some initiative and confidence if we introduced ourselves like that. The receptionist called the owner of the station down, because I guess we were pretty convincing and she didn't realize we being presumptuous. When the owner arrived, we knew we couldn't stutter through our introductions so we said the same thing we'd said to the receptionist... except this guy knew better. Needless to say, we were kindly asked to leave the premises.

We decided to try TV. I stumbled across a lame as hell movie review show on the government owned channel 17 in Weber County. It was pitiful. I forced John to watch a few episodes with me and we shook our heads in frustration as we watched these two imbeciles crash and burn over and over and over again as they talked movies. We knew we could do better.

We called the owner of the station. We told him we wanted our own show. He wouldn't let us do a movie review show since he already had one (that totally blew) so we pitched him a show called Odd Jobs, starring us. He was hesitant, but told us to film a few episodes and give them to him... so we did. He loved it. He loved it a lot. We couldn't get episodes to him fast enough. Literally. He wanted a new episode every week, but it took us at least a month to film and edit each episode. For that reason, Odd Jobs eventually died.

Now on to the point of this post. Recently John and I discovered that the movie review show that we coveted is no longer on the air. We immediately called Channel 17 and secured our spot as the new movie reviewers. One of the conditions of doing our movie review show was... get this... the owner wants us to film at least 4 episodes of Odd Jobs a year. That's how much he loves that show.

So John and I are in the process of getting our movie review show, The Cinematic Experience, on TV. The process is tedious, but in the meantime, I was hoping that YOU, my blog readers would do me a solid*. The Cinematic Experience is currently on You Tube and we're uploading new reviews every week. Would you be so kind as to log on and watch some of them. We try to keep them each under 5 minutes so it shouldn't suck up too much of your day.

We are also extremely interested in any type of feedback you may have. We've received some good and some bad and I can assure you that ALL OF IT is extremely helpful. We've already started incorporating some suggestions we've received into the show.

If you have a Facebook account, we've started a group called The Cinematic Experience. You're welcome and encouraged to join the group so you can receive future updates about our show as well as how our goal of fame and fortune is coming along.

Once the show is On Demand, I'll send out an announcement via Facebook telling everyone how to access it. The more "hits" we get through Comcast On Demand, the more likely we'll be able to buy each and every one of you a house in a decent neighborhood or at least a condo with covered parking.

Sorry if this post was too long and boring, but I've included several links that will help you access and peruse our previous accomplishments.

I hate it when people tell me to "spread the word" so I won't do that... ahem. I won't do that.

The link to our show will always be on the top left of my blog main page. Have a great weekend.

*solid = Pop Culture lingo meaning "big favor".

Lessons Learned

1. Don't assume that a 6 year old will be the least bit careful when playing with a large toy sword.

2. Even though people say "in the blink of an eye" to mean "really really fast"... sometimes it's not fast enough.

3. Tyton can say "I'm sorry" more than 5 times per second if he fears his head might be pulled off his shoulders otherwise.

4. Pharmacists know just as much (if not more) than doctors.

5. Neosporin can be placed directly onto your eyeball.

6. Don't tell your best friend the real reason your eye hurts unless it's something cool like "I got punched" or "It's syphilis".

7. If you do tell your friend the truth and you happen to be on the phone with him so he can't see the swollen eye lids and bloodshot whites, be prepared to hear insult after insult about being a "girl" and concealing "girl parts" from all other male acquaintances.

8. It's fun to make your 6 year old feel guilty as often as possible by saying things like, "I can't believe my eye, that you stabbed, still hurts so bad" or "Man, I promise I'll NEVER hurt you as badly as you've hurt me" then laugh and say "Just kidding. It's really ok. I still love you." Then pause and say, "Or DO I?"

C.Y.A.

I have some cousins that don't go to the doctor. I haven't really had in depth conversations with them to figure out their reasons, but I've always been fascinated with their lifestyle. This post isn't about the stupidity of being anti-doctor. This post is going to be about why I kind of agree with them.

I'm in a unique position. We've all visited doctors at one time or another, but not very many people can say the following words, "If it weren't for medical intervention, I'd be dead." Well, my wife can say that... and I was with her when she almost died so you won't catch me trashing on doctors too badly. But let me just tell you how stupid most doctors are. In my 31 years of life, I've observed what seems to be doctors getting paid to guess. Apparently, that's what they teach you in medical school. Just guess. "If you're wrong, you'll find out soon enough and then you can change your mind. If you're wrong too many times, though, someone could die... so try to minimize your bad guesses the best you can."

Monday: Tyton has swollen tonsils with white patches all over them. Tyton goes to doctor. Strep Test culture is taken and comes back negative. He is given an antibiotic and told to return on Wednesday.

Wednesday: Tyton returns to doctor, but his primary doctor doesn't work Wednesdays. Doctor says, "Hmmm. That antibiotic isn't working. Let's give him a really painful shot in the leg. That should do it. Come back tomorrow morning so we can see if the nasty antibiotic combined with the painful shot did the trick."

Thursday Morning: Doctor says, "I'm not seeing any decrease in that swelling. I'm going to refer Tyton to an Ear, Nose, Throat specialist guy where your co-pay should double. How does that sound?"

Thursday Afternoon: Nurse comes in and says, "Whoa. That tonsil will probably need to be drained. That's a very painful procedure. He'll need to be put to sleep unless you plan on holding him down." Tytons eyes are the size of large dinner plates and it's obvious he's too shocked to speak. Enter Specialist. He spends less than 5 minutes with Tyton and says, "We don't need to drain that tonsil. Instead, head over to the hospital and have a large needle shoved into his tiny arm. We can test for mono. I definitely think it's mono." I say, "But he has tons of energy. Isn't fatigue the primary symptom of mono?" Specialist says, "Good point... hmmm. Well we can test for other things, too. I'm also going to switch his antibiotic to one that might work better, but it tastes an awful lot like feces." Tyton then asks what feces is.

Later Thursday Afternoon: Blood drawn and tested.

Friday Morning: I call the Specialist to find out what the problem is. Specialist assistant says, "Well, the mono test was negative. All of his blood cell counts were normal so that means it isn't blah, blah, blah or blah blah blah." I say, "So we really don't know anything, right?" Assistant sighs and says, "Right. But it could be Strep." I tell him that the strep test was negative at our regular doctor. Assistant says, "Those throat cultures are wrong 50% of the time." Surprisingly, assistant doesn't ask us to come in for a different, more accurate strep test.

Monday: Tyton has a rash from head to toe that itches like crazy. We call the specialist and he says it's probably an allergic reaction to the antibiotic so he switches it again so something that tastes like strawberry citrus bile.

Wednesday: The rash is worse and so we take him back to his regular doctor. I spend about 30 minutes filling her in on everything we don't know so that way we all don't know the same stuff. She says she thinks it might be mono. I say, "Huh?" She then says that the specialist did the wrong mono test that usually doesn't work on six year old kids. She then says that it's unlikely he's allergic to two separate antibiotics from two different families and to continue with the doses from the newest one. I ask if she can re-test his blood sample for the correct mono test. She say, "Oh no. That blood is gone. But mono is a virus anyway so redrawing and retesting blood doesn't really matter anyway." Then the doctor says, "One thing we know for sure is that he had a severe case of tonsillitis." Really? Did you come to that conclusion based on the softball sized tonsil? I bring up the whole "fatigue" thing again and she says, "Kids are able to retain energy through a lot of illnesses that are supposed to make them tired."

Now it's Friday and his rash is gone. His antibiotic dosage is completed. His tonsil isn't swollen anymore and he has the exact same amount of energy as he's had for the last two weeks. And we still have no idea what was wrong with him.