Most Anticipated Books of 2011

It's kinda odd for me to do a list.  I've never done one and I admit the lameness ahead of time.  Yeah, you guessed it... this is something else that was originally meant for examiner.

It goes without saying there will be more awesome books published this year than I'll read and unfortunately I'll probably never even hear of a large percentage of them.  So I should steal an idea from Joe Sherry and leave a place open for all the stuff that is unknown to me, but instead I'll just list what I know exist and gets me excited.

I've felt for awhile now that Michael Swanwick is a master of the short story and none are better than those involving his brilliant and lovable con-men Darger and Surplus.  (If you haven't read his fabulous collection, The Dog says Bow-Wow, which contains three Darger and Surplus stories, shame on you.)  So an entire novel dedicated to the two (They've FINALLY gotten to Moscow!) has to be awesome!  I read two of his previous novels and they were both meaty, behemoths that were as rewarding as wagyu beef; I expect nothing less from one as Swanwick.  He is manifest awesome.  

Sorry.  I'll calm down now...

Dancing with Bears comes out in May and is easily this years publication I'm most looking forward to.

Number two on this short list has to go to Lev Grossman.  I had so much fun reading The Magicians that I'll probably read it again leading into the fall release of The Magician Kings.  I will say that I have no idea where this book will go; it kinda makes me apprehensive like the second Matrix movie (which is a horrible feeling), but I'm hoping for the best.

KJ Parker's Purple and Black was an out-of-nowhere publishing piece of awesome for me last year.  By reading more of the author's work in 2011 I can satisfy two of my reading resolutions.  I've already ordered Blue and Gold,  and as I always prefer reading stand-alones to series The Hammer seems another good book to pick up.   
 
And what are you dear reader (sorry I've been reading the Bronte sisters lately...) looking forward to in 2011?

A Lament for the Oft Maligned Ignoble Art of Profanity

Strange as it may sound, I'm certain that I'm not the first to express the title sentiment. What happened? How did swearing in the English language fall to it's current state and how can it ever be made to recover? In today's English we have a fist full of 'swear' words with hundreds of variants; and that's it. Not only does this overuse of so precious few words limit us in our variety of speech, but the fact that no one digs down for that eternally creative human spirit that can achieve anything when it comes to swearing is really very sad.

Ever read Shōgun? Now there's some profanity; it gives new meaning to the phrase, 'swearing like a drunken sailor,' cause damn, those sailors can swear. (I just proved my point; 'damn' doesn't even register as a swear word to anyone.) I've been plowing through Aurturo Pérez-Reverte's Captain Alatriste series and he's so good at period cussing I had to pause the first few times I came across certain phrases. (e.g. 'S Blood! Short for Christ Blood!) Pérez-Reverte is hardly afraid of an f-bomb and when it's dropped, it hits hard. The effect is strengthened as no one word or phrase is overused as to become common place: less is more, by cutting back we can make our currently 'casual' swearing have the impact it should. It's a matter of how we swear in between f-bombs.

I'm just now getting around to the second season of The Boondocks, and there is some truly inspired material there, but it makes me sad to think this material is only used for comedic effect and will more than likely never find it's way into the argot of the equivalent of today's foul mouth sailors.

I'm taking a vow; a pledge for the rest of the year. I will wash my mouth out with soap should I allow myself fall back on the crutches of modern profanity in lieu of taking a second to think of something mildly original. I expect I'll over shoot my aims in the beginning as it will be new to me. The learning curve is steep, but the gains are greater still. I'm on a mission to expand the modern vernacular. Why would I burden myself with such an undertaking? Because if there is ever a time when words should mean something to speaker and all parties listening surely such a time is at it's peak when people feel the need for profanity.

Anyone else up to the challenge?

Eponymous Libations

I read once that there were three names known all across the “civilized world,” (whatever that means): Hitler, Beethoven and Jesus.  Of those three I’d always decided Jesus was the greatest simply because he was is a member of a supremely rare cadre that long after death are still remembered solely by their first name.  There were, and are, many Buonarroti’s, and even more Sanzio’s, but there is only one, Michelangelo; only one Raphael.  If you leave it at, “Christ” most people think you’re swearing; which is an accomplishment in and of it self if you think about it.  When your name is synonymous with swearing, you can truly say you’ve left a mark on the world in one way or another. 

I had never aspired to have my name added to the above short list; rather I wanted my face on the US one dollar bill—smiling, teeth blinging a pearly white that could be seen from outer space, both middle fingers raised with a picture of the globe wreathed in flames behind me.  While I’m not giving up on my dream of brandishing my mug in the memory of every American from now until eternity as a decent person suffocating in this new age of insanity, I have recently turned my mind to something that is more substantial than paper money and perhaps as old as swearing.

Tom Collins, Papa Dobles, the dubious Matt Dillon; I want to leave this world with a drink named after me as a constant reminder to people of my legacy.  Not a bottle of wine I could craft nor a spirit I could distill, but a mixed beverage of universal acclaim that would linger on the tasted buds, and consciousness of people everywhere long after I turn to dust.  Anyone from Jay-Z or Jerry Garcia can put their name put on a bottle, but what did Hemingway do that made his nick name synonymous with “Daiquiri?”

I feel this is the loftiest of aspirations I can can set for myself at the present.  There are a few things made by men that can truly endure, no matter how substantial.  There will come a time when War and Peace is forgotten and become even less than the memory of The Kebra Nagast or Outlaws of the Marsh; when 7 Samurai and Casablanca fade, what will people be drinking as they watch the new film classics?  

The Martini, The Manhattan, A Cosmopolitan.  These are the cockroaches of the bar; their strength and longevity have endured and will continue to flourish for generations to come.  Taking a tangent back to Jesus, the Holy Eucharist isn’t too far off the mark from what recognition I’m aiming for.  

The Eponymous Libation.  What more can man aspire to achieve ?