Specialists

At the suggestion of his pediatrician we took Luke to see a pediatric dermatologist and allergist last week. 

He says the dermatologist was the easy part. All smiles. She said we were doing everything right and just changed his topical prescriptions a little bit. 

Now to the allergist ...

He didn't every flinch for the pokes! Now we wait 20 minutes for possible reactions. 

He fell asleep on daddy during the wait and his breathing changed. He started wheezing and they woke him up for a nebulizer treatment. THAT did not make him happy. No pictures because it took both of us to hold him and the mask in place. 

This was the end result. No eggs, dairy or fish for this little man. We meet again in 3 months for another evaluation. 

The crib

Our sleep progression in pictures

  

With colic we thought he would never graduate from the swing!  And then one day he didn't need the motion anymore and began sleeping in his rock and play!

The rock and play literally lasted until he could sit up and it was no longer safe.

And then the child who threw a tantrum every time we put him in his car seat chose that to be the only place he would sleep.

Notice a pattern here?  He has to be on an incline with his knees bent and legs up.

Until yesterday.

I put him down for his nap in the car seat (we don't strap him in) and closed his bedroom door. 

I took advantage of nap time and hopped in the shower. 

When I turned off the water I could hear him crying so I dried off quickly.

I left the bathroom to hear him banging on his bedroom door to let him out.

Kinda funny but not.

SO now that he can get out of his car seat we have no choice but to force the crib.  

He loses his mind when he is put on his back without his knees bent and legs supported.

Night one:  Daddy is not a fan of crying it out so he patiently sat with you while you finally fell asleep.  You have the best daddy ever.

And you only woke up 7 times throughout the night ;)

Day one: Naptime brought less fussing and you finally gave in.

Don't worry his head is to the side and he can breathe.  Mommy is however thinking our chiropractor adjustment this morning was poorly timed.

Gratitude

 I'm a huge believer that everything happens for a reason and I've often learned the hard way that the "reason" could take years to reveal itself.  And that's okay because no matter how hard you try to make sense of things everything happens in God's timing and he is in control.
What have I learned from this experience?
Our son is an absolute complete miracle. 

 I've always known this but I think I might have lost sight of exactly how miraculous him entering into our family really was.  His birth mother is the most amazing person I have ever met in my life, hands down.  It has never been more clear to me that not just anyone can make an adoption plan and have the courage and strength to follow through with it.  I love her more than I can find words to describe. 

He is the light of our lives. Every day he does something new and amazing and we get to be a part of it. 

We take the promises we made to her very seriously and work hard every day to make sure Luke knows he is loved and cared for. 

We include him in everything we do in an effort to make sure he has the most and the greatest experiences in life. 

We go out to eat as a family. 

We go shopping as a family. 

We take vacations and road trip as a family. 

Every single second we have together as a family is precious and part of our adoption promise is to never take that for granted. 

It means the world to us that all of you have followed and continue to follow our journey. I can tell you with complete confidence that we are going to be just fine. 

Our hearts are strong and our faith is solid. God has great things planned for our family and we hope you will be here to share in them. 

Love Don Amanda and Lucas. 

Adoption is Beautiful

As you can imagine there are a lot of things weighing heavily on my heart lately and I've found it difficult to process my thoughts and feelings.  As I was taking a much needed long and hot shower late this evening it occurred to me that this blog was started as my way of sharing my adoption experience with the world.  I have blogged about my most personal struggles, feelings and opinions whether they were right or wrong, they were mine.  They are mine.  So I am about to unapologetically tell you to place the following in your pipe and smoke it ...
Adoption is beautiful always and no matter what.
Why is adoption ALWAYS beautiful?  Because with adoption the child ALWAYS comes first. Period.
If you find yourself responding to an adoption situation by saying "I could never give up a child and be able to live with myself" you are probably right, you couldn't.  You don't have the ability to do this because birth mothers are super heroes.  And if everyone on Earth was a super hero there wouldn't be much "super" about them would there? 
A birth mother has the ability to love their child so completely that they choose to put the child's needs above their own selfish desires.  A birth mother does not abandon their child.  When people tell me they cannot believe Luke's birth mom could just give him up I often find myself retorting with "well she could have aborted him" and leaving it at that.
The phrase "give him up" makes me cringe.  No ... it makes my blood boil.  She did not in any way shape or form give him up.  She carries him with her everywhere she goes.  She thinks about him, worries about him and loves him every day.  She made the conscious and courageous decision to make a better life for him.  To allow for him to have all the opportunities she would not be able to currently provide him.  She did what others could not.  Adoption is not the easy way out ... parenting is.
I'm not sure if everyone knows this but adoptive parents are not Susie and Joe Schmoe off the street.  They have been counseled and their lives have been picked through like a parent checking their child for head lice.  Seriously not a shred of privacy.  We are background checked, finger printed, financially qualified, our homes are inspected ... you name it. 
With adoption the child wins every time.  EVERY TIME!  And open adoption is like winning life's jackpot.  You have multiple people, multiple families even, who love and want the world for you. 
Why is it so hard for people to see the beauty here?? 
I just cannot wrap my mind around it. 
So the next time you have the privilege of encountering a birth mother or an expectant mother considering an adoption plan perhaps you will take a moment and choose your words wisely, deciding to thank her for being a super hero amongst a world or mortals.
And while I have subjected you to this video numerous times before it seems perfectly poignant to my rant this evening so you get to appreciate it once more.

Smoke is over ... I encourage you to extinguish your pipes responsibly.

How do kids know?

While at the hospital we asked to have Libby swaddled in a blanket we had bought her so we could bring her smell home to the dogs before bringing her home. The night before she was set to be released to us we brought this blanket home and let the dogs smell it before draping it over the swing to spread the smell. 

After we received the message that Libby wouldn't be coming home with us it kind of just stayed there until Luke crawled over and pulled it down burying his face in it. My heart skipped a beat. 

I immediately thought he can't possibly know can he? I mean he has only been around her once in the hospital. 

But somehow he knew. He has had to sleep with that pink striped blanket every day since. For naps ... for bedtime ... for every sleep. 

I'm not sure it's possible that he could know she was going to be his little sister so maybe this is his way of saying we've still got him and everything will be okay?

Either way he somehow just knows. 

Sometimes you get burned

The most difficult part of adoption is the uncertainty.  You really have to put yourself out there and sometimes you get burned.

It is with very heavy hearts that we inform you Libby's birth mother has decided not to follow through with her adoption plan.  We are crushed.

 For the past five months we attended every doctor appointment and sonogram. 

We prepared our house and our hearts to welcome another little angel.  We spent a great deal of time finding her a perfect and meaningful name.

We made promised to take care of her and provide her with all the things her birth mother wanted but was not able to give her at this time in her life. 
We spoke at length with our birth mother on how to best use this adoption opportunity to accomplish all her goals for the future and offered our assistance anywhere we could be of help.

 Despite doing everything right things have the potential to not work out as you had planned and your heart gets broken into a million pieces. 
If it's not too much to ask we would love if you could all keep our birth mother and beautiful little Libby in your prayers.  They have a lot of challenges ahead and I pray that she gets all the support she needs to succeed.  I also pray that should all the reasons she originally considered adoption find their way back into her heart she knows that she can call us and our open adoption agreement still stands.

Elizabeth (Libby) Kay

Born 3/13/14 at 6:10pm 7lbs 2oz. 

We are so in love 

Anti-Cow in America's Dairyland?

Experimenting with new foods can be super fun until food allergies decide to join the party :(

His poor red cheeks are the result of Mac and Cheese :(

He'd had noodles before but they were always gluten free.  So we figured it could be gluten or dairy.
To test the theory mommy decided to share her frozen yogurt one night.  Three minutes later ...

Baby is not a fan of dairy it appears :(  Aside from cheese this isn't too big a bummer since we have been an almond/coconut milk family for quite some time now. 
The puzzling part is that all his milk mommies consume dairy and he does not react this way to his breast milk.  Maybe it's the direct dairy exposure?
Either way this guy is dairy free moving forward.  And considering the speed with which his reaction appears we will likely be getting a referral to an allergist at his 9 month appointment. 

"Normal"

Normal is a word that I'm not a huge fan of for many reasons.  It's hard to classify anything as normal since virtually no two things are the same, yet normal is what we all strive for right?
Normal is not a word that we have heard as used to describe Lucas since birth.  He has had many physical challenges resulting from his torticollis and while his therapist has helped him make huge strides we still let his shortcomings overwhelm us from time to time.
Recently I expressed concern to his physical therapist that he pulls his hair when he gets frustrated, upset or overtired.  She said she would run it by the occupational therapist and get back to me.
In the meantime we decided that cutting his hair super short would be the best way to discourage this behavior.  So we did.  Isn't it cute??

Then the call came.  "Hi this is Megan calling from Curative.  I'm your family services coordinator and I'd like to schedule an evaluation for Lucas with the OT as we believe there could be some sensory issues going on with his hair pulling."  Big sigh :(
My heart almost instantly broke for our little man.  He doesn't need any more obstacles. 

 Needless to say it was a very long two weeks until his eval.  And did I mention they rescheduled it twice??  The first OT fell on the ice and the second got the flu. 
Tonight was his evaluation and after what seemed like hours of playing with the OT I am happy to report he ROCKED IT!!

He did everything she asked him to and even showed some skills that are advanced for his age.  I have never been more proud of this little guy!!

And while I never expected it ... as I was thanking her for doing what she does she used the "N" word in reference to OUR son.  She said she sees a lot of children that have many challenges ahead and it was a pleasure to play with a little guy who is completely "normal" in the world of occupational therapy.   Turns out he just has some obscure coping mechanisms and will likely be sporting super short hair for quite some time ;)
When she left I thanked God, wished I could call his beautiful birth mother, hugged my blessing and ugly cried happy mommy tears. 
This mighty little man has completely changed my heart and filled my world.  I look at him in awe every single day.  I have no idea how we got so lucky.

Epic Parent Fail ... Whoops

Our little fish started swim lessons and I was SO excited for his first class.
He was blessed with all these hand-me-downs and I could hardly decide which one to put him in :)

With a little help from Dad we chose the red top with pirate trunks.  He got kinesio taped that morning on his back so we needed a top to try and keep it stuck to his skin.  With that I quickly tossed both in his diaper bag with a swim diaper and we left.

He's pretty excited to get in the water here.  We kept telling him just a minute buddy and anxiously waited to see what he would think once he was actually in the pool.

 That's his sassy little stinker smile

 "Dad ... I need to be IN the water not next to it!"

 Cruisin' in a circle with his classmates

 Get that toy buddy

He splashed his way through the entire lesson that little stinker.

I think it's safe to say he LOVES to swim!  We are pretty thankful for this.  Without swimming he would have a hard time completing an iron man race with dad one day ;)
Now I suppose you are waiting for me to get to the epic fail part right?  Here it comes ...
Lessons are over and we are headed back to the family locker room to shower and go home.  We worked pretty well as a team getting him in the shower with dad and out of that tight and wet swim top.  It's important to wash him right away with his eczema and the chlorinated water.  Dad passed him off to me and I put his hooded bath robe on while I got his clothes out.
And that's when it happened. 
Impossible ... it has to be impossible that there are NO diapers in the diaper bag right?!?!!!

 "I'm sorry Mom but you don't have WHAT?!"

We had used the bag the day before as well as that morning and I guess neither of us checked the diaper count.
Now mind you its not like we have the option of just keeping the dirty one on because he was in a swim diaper which was soaked and already rolled up in the trash. 
So ... we dressed him with no diaper and wrapped him in the driest part of the towel and had no choice but to take our chances. 
Despite all the crazy thoughts of pee all over his car seat and our car seats I am happy to report he made it home bone dry!  That's my little rockstar!!
Lesson to be learned?  Always ... ALWAYS check the diaper stock before leaving home ;)