Stumbling on Happiness

While searching on Internet for writings relating to happiness, i stumble on this book titled Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert.

i havent read the book yet, but from some reviews it seemed like a good read.. will try to read it one day.

Some websites with the writeup/review:

http://www.chronon.org/reviews/Stumbling_on_happiness.html

http://enjoyyourmoney.blogspot.com/2008/08/stumbling-on-happiness-summary-and.html

Peaks and Valleys by Dr Spencer Johnson

Another great book by Dr Spencer John, the guy who wrote 'Who moved my cheese'.

This time, he tells a story about life's ups and downs using the peaks and valleys analogy.

I especially like his way of teaching someone life's skill without telling someone.. instead thru storytelling craft.. ;-)

In a nutshell, it (my own interpretation) teaches us that during life's peaks, (i) Be Humble, (ii) Save resources for rainy days, (iii) Help others, (iv) Be nice.

And during valley days, (i) Stay vigilant, (ii) Reflect more, (iii) Prepare for upturn, (iv) Still Help Others, (v) still Be Nice! ;-)

Andrew Matthews life philosophies - join facebook group!

If u are a fan of Andrew Matthews life philosophies, do join this facebook group!

Happiness is a by-product of life

"Happiness is a by-product of life,

not necessarily something to look for.

It's about being honest with yourself

and knowing what feels right inside.

I know people who find joy in seeing

their children grow up or

in engaging hobby such as hiking.

And they're happy with a regular job

because it helps to feed their

source of joy & passion.

Not everyone is going to start a company,

and that's perfectly okay.

It's people with no passion at all

that become the walking dead."

- Ms O'Shaughnessy.

Absolute and relative happiness

Everyone has a unique mission that only he/she can to fulfill. Everytime I feel down or lost in my work, thinking of finding a new job, I would remind myself sensei's guidance:

"For those of you who have not yet decided your future course, please concentrate your energies on the things you need to accomplish right now. You will discover your path as you keep searching, chanting earnestly to find your direction, and seeking advice and guidance from those around you."

Also, there's a difference between relative happiness and absolute happiness. Relative happiness is the kind of joy we felt when we achieve something, like our goals, or when our desires are satisfied. For example, when I got a pay raise, bought a new dress, strike lottery, etc. These are relative happiness because they are short-term and we can easily fall into unhappiness the next moment.

As for absolute happines, it is the life state that is not affected by our environment or changing circumstances. It is about establishing a life state from within that has to confidence to overcome any problem or sufferings, having faith that by chanting, we will be able to manifest the wisdom and life force of our buddhahood to overcome them. Which means absolute happines = life state of buddhahood.

President Ikeda said:
"A strong person is happy. At the same time, strength is relative; it depends on the relationship between one's life force and the environment. If your life force is weak and frail, then even minor problems will cause you to fret and become overwhelmed, ending you in deadlock. This will only make you miserable…"

So we should always work towards achieving absolute happiness.

above, emailed to me by a good friend, SP.

Listening to yourself

Andrew Matthews wrote " If you dont know what you like doing, maybe you stopped listening to yourself years ago".

He was so right! Perhaps i have stopped listening to myself...  ;-(

Time to make the right choice! Nothing is more important than happiness, health and family.  ;-)

Money is essential for survival. But it's not everything.

Happiness in a nutshell

"The principles of happiness can be
learned in a nutshell.
But not the journey of happiness.
It has to be experienced."
- Kenneth Woo

about happiness

Today i read that happiness is 50% in born.. it's in your gene that you are more optimistic or pessimistic.. thus, the way you see life.

Studies then show that 10% is circumstances in nature. And you have no or not much control over that. So, you're left with remaining 40%.

Fortunately, the last 40% is within your control - it's what you do that determine your 40% of happiness. It's the things you do and things you can do!

It shows that if you do three good things each day and write it down on paper, it has a profound effect on your happiness level. Further, if you make an effort to thank someone whom you felt you didnt have the opportunity to properly thank him or her, it works wonder for your happiness level. In short, learn to practise gratitude.

Finally, contrary to conventional thinking, research has shown that it has nothing or little to your wealth, health and job. Even if you suddenly earn more today, after a few weeks you will get used to the amount and started to wish for more.. It's human nature to want to improve and earn more..

Life is so fragile..

Lately i was so busy that i hardly had time to reflect.. i believe it's important to reflect upon life and the things i've done & learned.

somehow,.. this morning i remembered a childhood friend. It was my primary school days.. he's my classmate. I clearly recall that whenever i was so called bullied, he will come to help me out.. sometimes even fight with those boys just to protect me.. u see, i was a small skinny boy then..

as we grew up, we went to different schools.. somehow we lost contact.. but on and off, over the many years into our 20's i still met him near the bridge near our homes.. It also feels good seeing him again.

then, somehow i never see him again. and i thought maybe he has moved. One day, i met an old classmate in the mrt. She told me that he had met a car accident in JB and died instantly. i was sad.. even till now. It becomes a constant reminder that life is fragile.

It balanced my thoughts not to be so materialistic and overly ambitious in career. Life is more than just work and career. It's about love and compassion. It's about living a happy life with friends and fun!

I certainly dont wish to look back when i'm old and regret. Let this memory of a good old friend be a constant reminder for me to live well. As painful as it can be to remember my dear friend, i shall not live in vain! ;-)

the science of happiness

the New York Times has a good but long article titled Happiness 101.. it's about positive psychologists work on positive psychology.

Check out the website.. click here Happiness 101

There're supporters, critics and skepticism on the usefulness and effectiveness of positive psychology.. as it still lacks sufficient evidence in the world of science.

Some extracts:
Positive psychology is popular with educators because if happiness is something that can be learned, it can be taught.

The mindfulness exercises — excercises in heightened awareness and openness to experience — are central to positive psychology and made a big impression, according to Kashdan: “Some said they just noticed for the first time how many types of trees there are on the way to campus.”

lost..

recently i managed to catch up with a no of my friends.. we chat about anything e.g. work, family, hobbies, love, life in general,.. the sad part is that most of them seemed lost. there is this lifelessness in them. u can easily feel it. they seem to loose interest in almost everything except eat, sleep & watch TV. they said they are bored but dont know what else to do or would interest them. they seem to be carrying that question "what's the meaning of life?" or otherwise they already know the answer "life is meaningless" basically.

that's a sad note. and i feel a little being pulled down likewise. i began to look back at my life experiences and Buddhism for answers. My findings in a nutshell, life is indeed meaningless. it's us who give meaning to life. it's not others who give meaning to our life. the goal of our life is to be happy. that's why we do all sort of things to make ourselves happy. it takes effort to be happy. even more effort to attain eternal true happiness. but it will be worth it. and it's a long journey. and will be a fruitful one. so the meaning of life is the process we undertake to attain eternal true happiness.