Showing posts with label holiday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label holiday. Show all posts

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Zob's Thoughts on Robot Heroes Fortress Maximus vs. Scorponok

After all is said and done, I think the Robot Heroes figures are my all-time favorite Transformers merchandise to collect. They're small (so they don't take up much shelf room), they're cheap (these days you can get four characters for the price of a single Deluxe toy), and they're baby-safe (my 16-month old plays with my extras on a regular basis). A lot of people seem to have trouble getting past the fact that they don't transform—which might be a problem for me if the only thing I liked about Transformers was the gimmick of robots folding up into vehicles. I'm a huge fan of the characters and the mythos they inhabit, though, so whether or not every single piece of Transformers merchandise I own can rearrange itself into a car or a plane is, ultimately, immaterial. I think the people who criticize Robot Heroes for this fact are missing what the toy line is really about.

Probably the biggest Robot Heroes figures we're ever likely to get (unless they do mega-sized figures that Hasbro seemed to be hinting at in one of their recent online Q&A sessions), Fortress Maximus and Scorponok each measure over three inches tall—larger, even, than a lot of the regular Heroes of Cybertron figures, and significantly taller than the comparative behemoths like Darth Vader and Chewbacca from this toy line's cousin, the Star Wars Galactic Heroes. (It's quite possible that the reason the Robot Heroes appear to have been scaled down lately was to make Fort Max and Scorponok look bigger by comparison.) Unlike a lot of pairings that simply don't withstand scrutiny, pairing these two characters together makes perfect sense, given that they were arch foes in both the cartoon universe and the Marvel comic book. (We'll quietly ignore the fact that the original 1987 toys could never have been a match for one another, since Fort Max was easily twice the height of Scorponok.) They come packaged on a standard-sized blister but they're both held down with about eight rubber bands apiece, clearly a preventative effort to keep the sheer weight of the figures from dislodging the bubble from the card. (One oddity of the artwork is that Scorponok appears to have stubby little super-deformed hands, embedded inside his claws. Thankfully, the toy isn't designed this way.) The cross sell on the back of the package includes the G1-themed Wheeljack vs. Decepticon Reflector set, the Beast Machines Optimus Primal vs. Jetstorm set, and the Beast Wars Tigatron vs. Inferno set. This set ships with all of these plus repacks of Snarl vs. Sharkticon and Perceptor vs. Hardshell.

Robot Heroes are supposed to be cute, first and foremost, and Fortress Maximus does not disappoint. There's just something ridiculously fun about robots with huge heads, giant fists and feet, and tiny little bodies that I can't quite put into words. Some obvious concessions had to be made with his design (his head is normally nestled in between the components on his shoulders, so their size had to be reduced to accommodate his huge head), but all in all he made the translation to chibification quite gracefully. As with a lot of Robot Heroes toys, he seems to be based primarily on his original animation model (complete with torso guns that appear to telescope into his body instead of swinging out from either side, since this was the way the toy was designed in the prototype stage) but with a handful of elements taken from the G1 toy. There are lots of little sculpt details that make it clear that somebody was really doing their homework—the folded-up legs and arms of Cerebros are visible on the back of Fort Max's head, and the flip-open panels on his wrists and forearms that originally revealed hidden weapons are in evidence here. He's got articulation at the head and shoulders, though you can't completely rotate his arms around without the ramps mounted on his upper arms scraping against his body. He's got a gigantic Autobot symbol on his pelvis, probably the only spot on the toy that would accommodate such a large tampograph.

It's worth mentioning that the Fortress Maximus figure that was part of the Heroes of Cybertron figure series was originally from Takara's Super Collection Figure series, and as such was designed to resemble the Japanese version of the character, who had an alternate cartoon design and was equipped with a sword that the domestic version of the 1987 toy didn't come with. By contrast, the Robot Heroes version of Fortress Maximus seems to be modeled after the American version of the character—specifically, the Marvel Comics incarnation. While the cartoon version of Fort Max was colored pretty much like the toy, the animators made sure to give him blue optic sensors, as was the tradition for the animated series. In the comics, Fortress Maximus had red eyes, the same color as the consumer-applied eye stickers on the toy. The dead giveaway here, though, is the color of his helmet—only the Marvel Comics version of the character had a purple head (I'm thinking this was meant to represent a shade of grey, or at least the four-color printing process equivalent). It's difficult to say for sure whether this was a deliberate homage or somebody was just using a page from the comic book for reference (it's happened at least once before, when Starscream appeared in Beast Wars sporting his comic book colors), but given that the Transformers Universe version of Ratchet is also firmly grounded in comic book lore, I'd say this was done on purpose. After all, the cartoon incarnation of Fort Max was a lifeless construct—an old, abandoned Nebulon city that was rebuilt by Spike Witwicky—hardly a true Transformer. The Marvel Comics version of the character was far more compelling—to me, he ranks right up there with Blaster and Ratchet as one of the most significant Autobots in the comic book.

Leaving the Japanese PVC figure out of the equation, this is the first new toy sold in America designed to represent the original Scorponok (no, I don't count the Transformers: Energon toy or the 2007 movie toy as representing the same character). The reason for Fortress Maximus's comic book colors now becomes clear—Scorponok, too, is intended to represent the Marvel Comics incarnation of the character. I couldn't be happier with this choice. The cartoon version of Scorponok was just an ancient city on Nebulos that had been rebuilt by the Hive into a battle station—like Fortress Maximus, it wasn't even alive, and could barely be considered a Decepticon in its own right. The comic book character, by contrast, was a compelling, tortured soul, the result of a psychological fusion between the Decepticon tyrant named Scorponok and the comparatively benevolent Lord Zarak. Driven by his desire for power and victory, but tempered by a sincere fondness for peace, Scorponok forged a true friendship with Optimus Prime before meeting his heroic end at the hands of Unicron in what can only be described as one of the most tragic, poetic death scenes in Transformers lore.

Forget those cute and cuddly Robot Heroes Decepticons who want to give you a great big hug—Scorponok just wants to shake your hand! No matter how you pose him, his claws completely dominate the sculpt (I actually struggled with finding a good angle to photograph him from because his claws were blocking the view of everything else). Like Fortress Maximus, the figure has three points of articulation, though due to the sheer weight of his arms, it's difficult to get him to achieve certain poses (they will not, for example, stay pointed forwards for more than a few seconds at a time). I was a little concerned about the arm pegs breaking off because of the strain, and was fully prepared to disassemble him and reinforce them as a preventative measure—until I dipped the figure in hot water and discovered that the pegs are significantly thicker and stronger than those of your average Robot Heroes toy. Longtime readers of my reviews may recall that the original batch of Robot Heroes toys had thick arm pegs with easily-removed arms, which were later changed to thin arm pegs with limbs that were much more difficult to remove (probably so kids didn't lose integral parts of the toys). Scorponok's arm pegs are shaped more like the original thick versions, with gigantic mushroom-shaped knobs on the ends to ensure that the arms remain secured. (Ever after soaking the toy in hot water, though, I had a great deal of difficulty popping the shoulders back in place. I don't advise this type of disassembly.)

Obviously, the sculpt for Scorponok is based heavily on his animation design, but one interesting addition was the clear plastic visor for his face. The original 1987 toy was equipped with such a visor, whose presence helped to mask the fact that Scorponok's helmet was empty when the toy was in scorpion mode and the Lord Zarak figure was inside the toy's chest cockpit. While the alternate animation model used for the Headmasters episodes in Japan played up this feature of the toy quite prominently, it was completely ignored in animation for episodes aired in America. This is an interesting way of striking a balance between the two designs. All the other important design elements are present here—his arm-mounted guns, his back-mounted tail (which was omitted from the character's design by some of the Marvel Comics artists), and a tiny little version of his arm-shield.

Oddly enough, the color scheme for Scorponok doesn't seem to correspond to any existing version of the character. He's predominantly purple and green, but his helmet antennae are red (they should be orange) and his helmet and feet are black (they should be grey, like his chest plate). He's also got numerous paint applications that seem to be based on the consumer-applied decals on the original toy, like the dark blue panels on his pelvis and the blue rectangles on his upper legs, but it makes him look unauthentic. While other Robot Heroes toys are missing vital paint applications that would have gone a long way to help the appearance of the toy, Scorponok has the opposite problem—he's got too many different colors going on. A good color scheme can make or break a toy (and by "good" I mean "accurate"), and it bothers me that they took so many liberties with his paint applications (and by "took liberties" I mean "made mistakes"). Also, his Decepticon symbol obviously wouldn't fit on his chest plate (why they don't just start using smaller tampographs is beyond me), so they did the next best thing and stick it on his back.

Looking at the Robot Heroes toy line as a whole (I've been rather compulsive about collecting the entire series), this is definitely one of the coolest sets to date, despite the color scheme oddities—and considering the size of the toys, you're definitely getting your money's worth. I know that the Transformers Universe series is winding down to a close, and that the Robot Heroes series will be dominated by Revenge of the Fallen characters for the forseeable future, so it's particularly nice that they managed to squeeze in this set at the tail-end of the assortment. In my opinion, you'd be a complete fool not to buy this set.

Zob

Wednesday, December 24, 2008

How the Decepticons Stole Christmas

How the Decepticons Stole Christmas
(With Apologies to Dr. Seuss)

Millions of humans liked Christmas a lot...
But Megatron, Decepticon leader, did NOT.
It was quite revolting, the whole Christmas cheer.
Don't ask why it bothered him so much this year.
It could have been Autobots wrecking his plannin',
Or maybe the weight of his arm-mounted cannon.
But the main reason for it, more likely than not,
Was that Christmas lights wasted the power he sought.
In any event, he hated humanity,
Who, on Christmas Eve, demonstrated insanity.
He watched them remotely from his secret base,
A sour Decepticon frown on his face.
For he knew that the humans, all over the globe,
Had billions of lights strung. Some that could strobe,
Some that could twinkle, and some that could flash.
(To power these lights, they paid check or cash.)
They covered their houses, wrapped 'round them like vines.
Why, they even put lights on half-dead, chopped-down pines!
"Tomorrow is Christmas," he mused to himself,"
Soon, all of those lights will go back on a shelf."
Then he realized he needed a new plan, and fast.
"I must find a way to get Christmas to last!"
For tomorrow the humans, he knew, would make haste
To plug in their displays. (They had hideous taste.)
And then! Oh, the waste! Oh, such waste!
Waste! Waste! Waste!
That's one thing he hated! The WASTE!
WASTE! WASTE! WASTE!
Alas, if Decepticons dared interfere,
The Autobots, the "heroes," they soon would be here.
And they'd fight! And they'd fight! And they'd FIGHT!
FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!
They would fight for the humans, protecting their rights.
They would defend the flesh creatures with all of their might.
And THEN they'd do something that just made no sense.
They'd join in the fun and they'd celebrate hence:
They'd jump and they'd frolic, and they'd trounce through the snow.
Wasting energon wherever they'd go.
They'd make snow angels that were suspiciously square.
They'd play with the humans like they hadn't a care.
They'd play. And they'd play. And they'd PLAY!
PLAY! PLAY! PLAY!
"Why, ever since '84 I've watched them waste fuel!"
"There MUST be a path to Decepticon rule!"
Then a thought dawned on him, a devious plan.
Too cunning for you to try to understand.
The lights needed power to light up, he mused.
Electrical power that HE could have used.
And the more Megatron thought of this friv'lous display,
The more he thought, "Yes, I must make Christmas STAY!"
After all, he'd heard, Christmas was a special season
Full of love and good will, for some bizarre reason.
Therefore, if Christmas was this powerful force
Then it was something he could harness, of course!
"This is my best plan yet!" Megatron said with a grin.
All the power the Christmas lights waste was a sin.
But if inside energon cubes it was saved,
The 'Cons could all use it on a rainy day.
To avoid being spotted while he siphoned away
All that power, he figured he'd show up by sleigh.
"All I need is a vehicle that can travel by snow."
Megatron looked 'round, but did he see one? Nope.
But that didn't stop him. Yes, there was still hope.
"If I can't find a sleigh, I'll just make MYSELF one!"
So he summoned the tapes, both Frenzy and Rumble.
"Transform to cassette mode!" he said as they grumbled.
Then he magnetized them, and as sure as you please,
Attached them to his boots, like big makeshift skis.
"To the Autobot base!" Meggy gave the command,
And sped through the night across the snow-covered land.
All the 'Bots were recharging, temporar'ly off-line
Which would give bad old Megatron plenty of time.
"This is the place," he declared at long last.
And he climbed up the side of the mountain quite fast.
Then he flew down the summit of the great volcano.
(Not entirely unlike a chimney, you know.)
He cut through the hull of the Autobot ship,
Then he flew right inside, so the alarm would not trip.
Into the Ark the Decepticons came.
Megatron saw the stockings with Autobot names.
Windcharger! Brawn! Sideswipe! Ironhide!
Inferno! Hoist! Cosmos! Powerglide!
He secured them all down, with permanent glue
And just for good measure, put a forcefield up, too.
Then he spotted some gifts wrapped in paper and bows
Using his x-ray vision to peer inside of those.
He saw mudflaps for Gears, and snow tires for Bluestreak,
Speakers for Jazz, and chrome polish for Sunstreaker.
If the lights had to stay, then the gifts would stay, too.
And Megatron already knew what to do.
He'd once made a copy of Wheeljack's immobilizer
When no one was looking, and were none the wiser.
He used this machine to freeze those gifts in their tracks!
Now they could never be moved, and never unwrapped!
Then he aimed a device, Vector Sigma's own key,
which emitted a glow that enveloped the tree.
The tree was now metal, and would last for millions
and millions of years. Perhaps even billions.
He had just done the same to the halls, decked with holly.
When he heard a small sound, like a whimpering collie.
He turned 'round and noticed a flesh creature just then.
He called himself Daniel, and he was about ten.
Danny was quite unafraid of the 'Con, and kept walking.
(He'd awakened to get a last peek at the stockings.)
He looked up at Megatron and said, "You're a bad guy!"
"Why are you in Autobot Headquarters? WHY?"
Now, Megatron already knew how to spin
A tall tale or two, so he put on a big grin.
"Why, you ridiculous flesh creature," Megatron sneered,
"It's just been announced Christmas should last all year!"
"So I'm spreading the word to make sure everyone knows."
"And as for your Christmas lights? No, don't take down those!"
The boy seemed confused, but without further prattle,
Megatron sent him to bed with a bottle and rattle.
And once the obnoxious young man-child was gone,
Megatron made his way to Teletraan One.
He programmed the computer, and fixed its hard drive
To a permanent date: December twenty-five.
"I don't get it," said Frenzy. "I mean, what's the point?"
"Yeah," chimed in Rumble, "Why'd we sneak into this joint?"
They just weren't the brightest troops who'd joined the team,
So Megatron patiently explained the scheme.
The Autobots had a world energy chip
That provided them power--a slow, steady drip.
And since there was no greater fuel source around,
This was the best place to turn things upside-down.
It was now Christmas day, thanks to the sunrise.
A day of regret for those 'Bots in disguise.
Off to their gifts they no doubt would scamper,
Unaware it was these with which Megatron tampered.
He'd altered their presents! The ribbons! The gifts!
Now it was time for them to hitch a lift.
Three thousand feet up the side of Mount St. Helens
They made their escape, the robotic felons.
"Just you wait, Autobots!" he said. "Yes, I'm so clever!"
"You'll quickly find out this day will last forever!"
"Your Christmas will never be over, you see."
"I'll harness the power and use it for me!"
"It will be eternal, like the glow of the moon."
"How ironic!" laughed Megs, "It will lead to your doom!"
So he waited for hours. But the very next day,
The Autobots put all of their décor away.
The radios stopped playing holiday tunes,
And stores replaced wreaths with big clearance balloons.
Wrapping and boxes filled up garbage cans.
He stared at the humans. Wait, this wasn't the plan!
In preparation for another cold winter's night,
Every flesh creature dutifully packed up their lights.
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from leaving! IT WENT!
Despite his best efforts, it had come to an end!
And Megatron stood there, his boots deep in snow.
He wondered how he had let Christmastime go.
"But there are still stockings! But there are still wreaths!"
"But there are still cut-down and half dried up trees!"
He crumpled his eyebrows and balled up his fists.
There must have been something that Megatron missed.
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "isn't a calendar date?"
"There's some other reason that they celebrate."
And what happened then? Well, needless to say,
Megatron's rage grew three sizes that day!
And the minute he gave up his brilliant scam,
He called the retreat, but came up with new plans.
As he flew off into the night and disappeared,
He, HE HIMSELF, set his sights on New Year's!

Zob