While at a play land with my boys there were some other children making fun of Brock's arm in a way I have never experienced before. I am used to people starring and kids asking what happened to his arm and I am fine with that. However I am not fine with what these little boys were doing. They were pretending to throw up and kept saying "It is so gross it is so gross." This was not even the best part. My table was right next to the mom of these little boys and she would not even look at me. She knew he was mine and instead of talking to me she chose to ignore me. I understand that kids will be kids, I get that. What I don't get is a mother who when here children ask why someone is different tells her kids to stop talking and be quiet. her exact words "Maybe something happened to him stop starring and ignore him." So if I understand right the best thing to do when someone is different is ignore them. Perfect. That will really teach your kids tolerance and acceptance. How could she sit there and say these things when I am literally sitting about five feet away. I am not invisible and I can definitely hear you. Finally I tell the little boys " He was born that way, like you were born with blond hair." While there is still no response from him mother he just says " It is weird." I can tell the mom is about ready to jump out of her skin so I finally say " Oh don't worry it is OK." Her quick response, " Oh Good."
Really!!!!! I wanted to punch her or throw something either one would have made me feel better. Here I am consoling her because she is so embarrassed about what her son did. How do I always end up being the one telling others it is OK. I am not your therapist. Any inadequacies you might feel by being around my son is not my problem. I know this sounds rude but I can tell almost instantly who feels uncomfortable around Brock. I know it can be a little uncomfortable at first but if you really got to know him you would not dismiss him so easily. I felt like she had no regard for my feelings and that I should just be used to random children calling my son gross. I could feel my heart pounding in my throat and I was knew I had to get out of there.
(OK this is kind of the funny part.) Brock had ran away from me and climbed to the top of the play land and now was stuck at the top yelling my name. I had the wonderful opportunity of crawling into the play land and retrieving my son with about 15 people watching while I am about to loose what little composure I had left. I could feel my face on fire and I left as soon as I pulled Brock out.
The good part about this was that BJ was there but at the other side of the restaurant. He did not see what happened but could tell something was wrong as soon as I walked out. All I can really remember is sitting in the driver's seat sobbing and trying to tell BJ what happened while my mascara ran down my face. People were walking by but I did not care. My adorable husband just hugged me and said " I know this is not easy, I promise you it is OK to feel this way."
I know to some this may not sound like a big deal but to me it was for three reasons. First, I am his mommy and I am supposed to protect him and I felt like I had failed that day. Second I not oblivious to the reality of how harsh children can be. And I am brutally aware of what comments and issues may and will occur in the future. Brock did not understand what those boys were saying but the day will come when he will. I hope I can prepare him for such a day. Third, there are people out there who do not know how to react around those who may be handicapped or just a little bit different. I have been in a bubble of wonderful family and friends where Brock is one of the gang, but I think this is about to change now that he is getting older and is a lot more mobile. ( and if anyone has ever met Brock knows he is kind of a maniac.) I do not blame the kids who made fun of Brock that day I know how kids are. I only wished that their mom could have used the situation for good instead of an awkward embarrassment.
I also learned from this experience how important it is to help Brock develop the tools to help others understand his physical difference. The more people know the less likely they are to make snap judgements. My son has an amazing sense of determination and strength that will carry him through this life, and I am so grateful for these gifts that he has been given. I am also thankful for those around him who do not judge or dismiss. You know who you are.
I do not want anyone to feel sorry for Brock because of his arm. Our Heavenly Father sent him this way for a reason. I am grateful for the opportunity to be his mommy. I know these experiences are required to test our faith and build character no matter how painful they might be.
Thanks for letting me rant, sorry this longer than expected.
