I loved my time with Brenda. I know it was hard for her to accept
help at first and she felt that she was imposing on us… but I always told her
that I was the one that felt blessed… blessed to be with her and get to know
her better. Blessed to help her. Blessed that being with her always put life
back into perspective. Blessed to be part of the many women that love Brenda
and Tom and their family… While I don’t always understand God’s plan, I hold
tight in my faith that there is one and that it will make sense one day. I do
know I have learned more about love and will miss most watching Tom and Brenda
on their walks through the neighborhood. I believe this is God’s gift for all of us around them to learn from and pattern our lives after.
When I first started to come to Brenda’s, I cried a lot. It felt awkward and unfair to talk about anything light hearted. But that was not what she wanted, she was happiest
when we just visited as friends and wanted to hear about life outside of her
world. When her son, Matt spoke about the secrets that Brenda knew at her funeral, I smiled. She knew
so many of mine, I could tell her anything and she would just smile. Yes. I did
most of the talking and I know she liked to hear the details of my life, no
matter how seemingly unimportant they were. We could only be sad for so long
and then we talked and laughed and Brenda would smile. She remembered
everything and would ask me the following week how things were… always keeping me in her prayers.
I loved pampering her and getting out a very warm, wet washcloth to
lay on her face. The warmth felt good to her and then I would scrub her face a
bit here and there as needed and put lotion on her. It was her day spa moment
and she loved it. She looked radiant and I always told her that Tuesdays must
be Tom’s favorite day of the week because he got to come home to a radiantly
beautiful Brenda. She loved having her hands and arms lifted in the air and
rubbed with lotion. I liked how she would roll her eyeballs once in a while and
I knew what she was thinking and we would smile together.
Brenda loved treats. I would sneak her treats even after we were told
to limit her food. I would ask if she wanted a chocolate covered nut or raisin
and her eyes would light up with excitement. What is life without a treat from
time to time? I don’t think I was the only one that did this though.
She liked to surprise her
family with meaningful gifts at Christmas. One year we did Christmas ornaments,
another time, pillows with Tom and Brenda’s handprints. I loved shopping for
Tom when Brenda wanted to surprise him with a gift. We framed pictures of their
family through the years and it was lovely to see them on the walls… to me it
felt like they were surrounded by love. They still are and will always be
surrounded by the memories, spirit and love of Brenda. We all will be and that
brings me joy.
-Brenda
