paralyzed, in constant pain, severely crippled, or dead.Due to the unusual nature of the procedure, you remain conscious but immobilized and mute throughout the surgery.
All the shaving and daubing and anesthetizing has been done, and you are wheeled into the theater. A team awaits. There is the surgeon.
"You're in excellent hands," a nurse says. All the other attending professionals agree.
The surgeon leans over you. "Nothing to worry about, nothing at all," he says, and begins.
All is virtually silent, apart from occasional beeps and clicks. Then:
"Oops," the surgeon says.
Then, "Oh well."
Oh well?
A few minutes later, you hear, "Nurse, hand me that... that thingie. That whatsis. You know, the bogotron. I think that's what I'm looking for."
Bogotron? You're pretty sure that's a made-up word. You hear some unsettling slicing and sloshing... then a sudden splip!
"Hunh," the surgeon says in a bemused tone. "Ah... I don't think we needed that anyway."
After which you hear a swoosh and a splop!, as something moist lands in a can off to your right.
"Okay, I think this is what I'm looking for," the surgeon murmurs.
"Or... wasn't it supposed to be smaller? This looks big. Janitor, does this look big to you?" Someone mutters incomprehensibly. You think English probably wasn't his native language. There's some rough laughter. The surgeon joins in. When he leans back into your field of vision, he's wiping mirthful tears from his eyes."Ah me, I've never had so much fun!" he exclaims, then hunches back over your abdominal area. "Let's see... where was I? Oh crud, that thingie's sunk back in there. Crud crud crud, I'll never find it now. Well, this one probably is just as good. I don't like its color, anyway. Nurse, hand me that... that... that shiny sharp dealie. No, not that - well, never mind, that'll do, I'm pretty sure. I've wanted to use that anyway, see what it does. Now's as good a time as ever."
How do you feel about your surgery now?
(This parable tags on to this.)
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