Hottie McHotterson

Several years ago my friends and I each picked our Top Three Most Attractive famous people. I'm sorry to report that in my opinion these girls had really bad taste in men. But we were young, we all make mistakes.

Our friend Libby, for example, picked Alan Rickman. You might remember him in all of his pasty glory as Severus Snape. I think Alan Rickman is a fine actor, and I really enjoy watching his films, but if I were picking my TOP THREE hottest men ... no, definitely not. But, then again Libby also had a "poo rag" which she used for quite some time, and so perhaps her judgment shouldn't be anyone's guiding light.

My brain has turned to a pile of mush and I can't remember who made my original top three, and so instead of trying to remember I decided that I should just pick again. You must tell me your three too! Most of the fun of this game is to laugh at who other people think are hot. (Camie, if Adam Sandler is still on your list I really might vomit.)

And so, without futher ado ....

Third Place goes to:

Hugh Jackman

He sings, he dances, he's Australian! One thing we're going to be seeing over and over again is a man with an accent. I loves me an accent. I think Hugh might have been on the original list ... I'm not sure, but I was looking for pictures of my previous Third Place choice, when I ran across a picture of the dashing Mr. Jackman. I immediately ousted #3 and put Hugh in his place. I do really, really love him.

Consequently, serving as an Alternate to Mr. Hugh Jackman's Third Place position is ...

Daniel Craig

I had to give Daniel Craig some props because I can't really remember a time when I've been so bowled over by the unbridled hottness of an actor as I was when I saw Casino Royale. If you haven't seen it, you must. Just know that when you leave the theater all other men will be a little less manly in your eyes.

If Daniel Craig fails in his alternate duties, there is a second alternate ....

Mr. Clive Owen

He's a saucy one, that Clive. Plus I really like his name. Clive. When this old man played knick-knack-patty-whack on five, he came up with one babe of an actor. I also really like that Clive is married to a normal looking lady. That's another common thing with most of the men on my list, they're all happily married. I find the fact that these men are happily married incredibly attractive. I'm weird.

Ok, so enough with the alternates.

In Second Place:

James McAvoy

You might say, "WHO?" Let me school you. This newcomer is rocketing up my list. I first loved him in Becoming Jane, but every time I see him in something new it justifies his presence on this list again. He's completely adorable. And his blue eyes are sinful. Plus, he also shares a quality with my #1 man. He can look really, really bad. Like "This is your #2? Explain yourself" bad. For some reason, when he looks bad, it just makes him even more attractive when he looks good. He's like a foil for himself. It's awesome. I mean, David Beckham looks good all of the time, but where's the fun in that? Every time you looked at him you'd be like, "yep. still hot. this is so boring." Hanging around him would just be depressing. Hanging with James, on the other hand would be exciting and completely wunderbar.

And now, for my #1 Most Attractive Famous Person

Ewan McGregor

I have loved him for a long, long time. He may have been my #1 in my previous list, but I won't swear to that. He's got it ALL going for him: accent, happily married, can look really bad (hello Obi Wan? What happened there?), but can also look SO, SO, SO G-O-O-D! My sister thinks that he's contractually obligated to either sing or take his pants off in every film he makes. I say, Mores the Better! He's free to do whichever he wishes, it won't dethrone him from being my #1 man. I Heart you, Ewan!

Who are your three? (PS. Please don't say Brad Pitt, I don't want to have to divorce you as my internet friend.)

Resetting the bar

Radio DJ: That was a concerto by Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart. He wrote this particular piece when he was just 18.

Me: Nicely done, Herr Mozart.

Radio DJ: He'd written two concerti before that. Isn't that surprising?

Me: What, that Mozart was an overachiever? Yeah, shocker.

Radio DJ: You would have thought that he'd have written a lot more by then. But no, only two.

Me: You make a good point. What a slackass!

Please Let This Be True

Fox news is reporting that Michael Jackson is looking at real estate in Maryland. (On St. Michaels, if you're curious). Please please let this happen! We need more resident crazies to elevate Maryland from its non-memorable-state status. And is there anyone better or crazier than Wacko Jacko? Of course not! I hope he brings Prince Michael, Prince Michael The Second, and Blanket. Plus if he were a resident we could also adopt Billie Jean as our new state song. I love that song.

In a fitting twist to this story, he's reportedly looking at a house built by Mario Boyardee, son of Chef Boyardee. Could it get more perfect than that? Nasty canned pasta and The Gloved One together? It's like 6th grade is being recreated in its entirety for me, right here in Maryland.

One good thing

By all rights, I should be completely disgusted by the media coverage of Paris Hilton's release from jail. And I am. Of course I am. ..... But then I found out that Michael Moore got bumped from Larry King Live to make way for Paris.

And that made me smile.

I don't like muckrakers (which is the category I firmly place Michael Moore into). I work very hard to make sure that I don't get riled up about things that I neither know anything about or can do anything about. So to have him cheated out of some portion of his LKL slot by such a patently ridiculous interviewee makes up, in a very pleasing way, for the minutes of my life he stole while ranting during his Academy Award acceptance speech in 2003. You take some of my minutes, my man Larry will take some of yours. HA! Maybe karma works after all.

57 Channels and Nothing On

Last summer I started an experiment in which I would not watch television on weeknights. In an effort to be more productive in the evening I set my VCR and wouldn't even turn the TV on when I came home from work. Then I'd watch my shows en masse on Sunday afternoon. After the initial withdrawal wore off, I found I quite liked this plan! I had more productive evenings, I got to watch my shows without commercials (saving scads of time), and I had something to look forward to doing during the TV wasteland known as Sunday afternoon. So, I've kept the habit up (for the most part).

One side effect of this practice is that I haven't seen many, if any, of the shows that are not on my regular recording schedule. Which is why I find it remarkable that tonight as I was flipping channels until the Dateline interview with William and Harry started, I stopped to watch a few minutes of "How I Met Your Mother" -- a show that I watch, um, never -- only to find that it's an episode I've somehow seen before! I have no idea how this happens. First, I have no idea when I could have possibly seen this the first time around. Second, what are the odds of seeing the only episode I've ever seen of this show twice? If I'm that lucky perhaps I should be spending more time in Atlantic City. I do love a little Keno in the afternoon.

Despite being contrary to all logic and reason - this phenom seems to happen ALL. THE. TIME. With 15 or so episodes to choose reruns from, I invariably end up seeing the same one multiple times. It's incredibly annoying. All I want is some fresh re-runs, people! Is that too much to ask?

(On a side note, I just finished watching the Dateline interview with Princes William and Harry and can I just take a minute to say "Goodbye Wills ... HELLOOO HARRY!" When did Young Harry become WAY (and I mean WA-AY) finer than his brother? We always knew he was "the fun one" but holy crumpets! I'm agog!)

Siskel & Gretchen Present

When heading out to the theater this summer you'll be tempted to make time for the bawdy comedies, and the epic blockbusters, and even the animated ogres, but if you really want to make your $9.50 go the distance then there's really only one reasonable choice: Once a musical unlike any musical you've ever seen before. Truly, one of the most remarkable pieces of film-making I think I've ever seen. If you don't see it, well, you're really doing yourself a disservice. That's all I can say.



Go. See. It.
(you can thank me later)

As a side note, let's all hope that this little baby gets picked up by a distributor, so we don't have to waste 3 hours watching Pirates of the Caribbean.

I love George Michael

I love George Michael, and I don't care who knows it.

Is there, I ask you, a better pop Christmas song than Last Christmas? I proudly sing (and dance) along to Freedom -- just try doing a "breast stroke" style move during the chorus of Freedom. I think you'll like it.

Doing Karaoke? Nothin' like a little Wake Me Up Before You Go Go! to get the crowd on your side.

Even though I Want Your Sex is a little risque for my pent-up taste, I have to admire his homage to Faith. Who cares if he ends up slumped over his steering wheel one too many times? I will always love George Michael.

However, I will not always love Michael George.

Michael George is a fellow in my ward who has recently taken a shine to me. Now every girl likes to be liked, however, they like to be liked by someone there is a remote chance for romance with. Sadly, romance is definitely not in cards with Michael George.

There are so many obstacles to the match, I'm not even sure where to start:

• Age (let's just say he prefers his corn creamed),
• Interests (not sure what they are other than spending time at the library and leaving 4 minute messages on my phone),
• Temperament (uh - nerdy, and not in a good way),
• Height and Weight (I'm bigger on both counts) and finally....
• He's a close talker. Give me my space, little dude. That's all I can say.

Unfortunately, in addition to wanting to "see where our paths have crossed before" he is my Home Teacher. Which means I have two options.

1. Endure him for one 30 minute meeting once a month (I can't even imagine the torture!!)
   
2. Find out if he's a strong member of the Church. If he is, I'll feel good about ditching Home Teaching. If he isn't I'll have to resort to #1.
   

I sincerely hope he's a strong member of the Church so I can force him to fail in his calling. I hate to make anyone slack unnecessarily, but desperate times call for desperate measures.

I mean, come on, my heart belongs to George Michael. I have to be true to my heart.