Reunited...and it feels so good.

If you are one of the 9,000 people who reads Shawni's blog everyday, this will be old news to you.  But, for the sake of my own memories, I am going to write about it anyway.

During the first weekend in March, I flew to Arizona and met up with six of my dearest high school friends as we collectively celebrated our 40th birthdays.

As I look back on my life, I count my friendship with these girls among my greatest blessings.  As anyone who has survived high school knows, there is a lot of figuring-out that goes on in those years and I am so grateful I had these girls by my side to help me figure it all out back then.

And as anyone who has ever been an adult or been married or has been a mother knows, there is still a lot of figuring-out going on.  It was so good to chat with these wise women and learn all the things that they have figured out in their lives and commiserate about the stuff we are all still trying to learn.

Over the course of countless conversations that weekend, we tried to remember and dissect exactly how we all became friends.  A few of us had been friends in junior high.  A few had dance together their freshman year.  Some had splintered off from other groups.  We remembered bits and pieces of what brought us together, but no matter how hard we tried to figure out the history of our friendship, we were never able to fully re-create it.

What I do know is this: for the past 25 years (ouch!) I have loved these dear friends.  We have all had struggles and joys.  We've all experienced heartache and happiness, but through it all we have remained friends.  And not just friends, but the best kind of friends -  ones who even if we haven't seen each other in ages, when we get together we pick up right where we left off, and talk and laugh like 16-year-olds all over again. We have a common understanding of where we came from and what made each of us who we are.  It is good to be in the company of old friends.

Yes, we all ordered the same thing; the Thai Steak and Noodle Salad at Hillstone.  Delish!

As I flew home from this amazing weekend, I thought of a quote by C.S. Lewis I have always loved:

"In Friendship...we think we have chosen our peers.  In reality a few years' difference in the dates of our births, a few more miles between certain houses, the choice of one university instead of another... the accident of a topic being raised or not raised at a first meeting - any of these chances might have kept us apart.  But, for a Christian, there are, strictly speaking, no chances. 


A secret Master of Ceremonies has been at work.  Christ, who said to the disciples, "Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you," can truly say to every group of Christian friends, "You have not chosen one another, but I have chosen you for one another." The Friendship is not a reward for our discrimination and good taste in finding one another out.  It is the instrument by which God reveals to each the beauties of others."

In the end, it doesn't matter how we all came together.  What matters is that we were brought together and we have stayed together.  These girls continue to be a blessing in my life and when I say my prayers at night, I thank my Heavenly Father for their friendship (and for the three who couldn't make it.) I also pray that when my kids reach high school, that they will end up with friends as good as the ones I had when I was their age.  It will be a blessing to them for the rest of their lives.

It was a great trip - so fun, so hilarious, and so rejuvenating!  I can't wait to do it again next year!

The Campaign Trail

The Republican primary wasn't the only campaign we followed closely this winter.

In fact, we were much more interested and involved in a campaign that hit close to home.

Starting in February, Abby ran for 5th grade president and it was a heated battle.  Early on, there were quite a few kids who were interested in running for president, but after the primary election, there were only seven candidates left - Abby and six boys.

Abby chose an accomplished running mate.  They worked hard to come up with a strong campaign slogan and then made posters to hang in the halls of school.   They made mustache badges to pass out at recess, asking kids to vote for them.  Abby had to prepare a speech outlining her plan if she were to be elected president and took part in a debate with the other candidates, addressing the tough issues facing 5th graders today.

It was well-run campaign and a great experience for Abby, but in the end, it was one of the boys who was elected 5th grade president.  I was worried that Abby would be upset, but as always, she took it all in stride.

"If I hadn't been running, " she said, "that's who I would have voted for too.  He'll make a great president."

Oh well.  She'll get it next time.  (Or, if she takes after her mom, she probably won't.  And yet, she'll still be just fine.)  Either way, I sure love that girl!

Nine Months Later

Shortly after Lucy was born, I remember having the feeling that our family was complete.  I had Abby, my three boys in the middle, and as a bonus, I finally got another girl. It was a good feeling knowing that we were done - and it was the feeling I had been waiting for ever since Andrew and I started having kids.

So, imagine my surprise last July, when I found out I was pregnant again.

I was shocked and Andrew was totally overwhelmed, but suddenly our family of seven didn't feel complete.  As anyone who has ever been pregnant knows, once you see the lines on that pregnancy test, your life just isn't the same.  Within a matter of minutes, I went from complete shock to envisioning our life with six kids.  I pictured myself giving birth and bringing home another tiny bundle of perfection.  I knew the kids would be so excited and my heart was full of joy with the idea that one more spirit was intended for our family.

Only this isn't a birth announcement, so obviously it didn't happen that way.

Over the next few weeks, I was having symptoms of pregnancy but they were much too mild.  I was tired - but not tired enough.  I was a nauseated - but not nauseated enough.  I kept telling Andrew, "I don't think things are right with this pregnancy."

After a few weeks of wondering, I went into the hospital for an ultrasound.  Instead of seeing a little peanut with a racing heartbeat, they found an empty sack with nothing in it.  "Blighted ovum," was the phrase they used.

I was sad to be sure - but not totally surprised - I'd had my suspicions all along.  Even still, in an instant, the future I had imagined evaporated and I was back to being the mother of five kids.  I went home and that night I cried and cried.  Then I went and got my "baby" out of her bed and made her sleep with me so I could nuzzle her neck and feel her warmth and be reminded of how blessed I am.

So here I am nine months later - in the week I would have been due with baby #6.  I'm not pregnant.  I'm not anxiously anticipating labor.  I'm not eating Tums like candy and wishing away my heartburn .  I'm not waddling around my house wondering how much longer I have to feel so uncomfortable and complaining that I am too old for this.

There is a part of me that is grateful that I'm not going through all that this week, but truthfully, even more than my gratitude for what I'm NOT experiencing, is the realization that my arms and heart are feeling a little empty today as I imagine what could have been.

"Moochie"

On a day like today, when we wake up to a fresh dusting of snow on the ground, I love looking at the pictures from our trip to Florida, and remember what the sun and sand felt like.

One of the highlights of our trip was the day we met up with Andrew's aunt Allyson and her husband Jeff.  When we scheduled our trip to Siesta Key, we didn't realize that Ally and Jeff lived just twenty minutes away from where we were staying.  We were so excited to discover they were so close and even more excited when they invited us to spend the day boating with them.

Abby, Ally, Andrew, and Henry

Jeff and Allyson took us on a tour of the Inter-coastal Waterways between Venice and Sarasota, Florida and out into the open waters of the Gulf.   We had such a fabulous day.  The sun was shining and warm, the water was an incredible greenish-blue color, the houses lining the water were delightfully ostentatious - perfect for gawking, and the company was the best.

Ready for adventure.

As we drove around, Jeff and Allyson told us about the area and about the waterways, but the thing that intrigued us the most, was when they mentioned that in one section of the water, there is a dolphin who is known for following boats and begging for food.  As soon as my kids heard that, they were on a mission to find this legendary dolphin.  Like a group of explorers intent on finding the Loch Ness Monster or Big Foot, we were determined to see this dolphin firsthand.  

After a morning spent soaking up the sun and goofing around on the boat, we stopped for lunch at Robert's Bay.  We feasted on yummy sandwiches made by Allyson (why does a sandwich eaten outdoors always taste so amazing?) The water was really shallow and the kids had a great time jumping off the boat into the water and swimming around.

Abby was photographer extraordinaire on this trip... 

Before we knew it, it was late afternoon, and despite several attempts at locating the elusive dolphin, we still hadn't found him.  As we made one last pass through the section where he was rumored to be, our eyes scanned every inch of the horizon as we hoped to catch a glance of the dolphin.  

Finally, we spotted a flash of gray, jumping through the wake of another boat.  We went crazy - so excited that we had finally seen the dolphin.  But of course, the euphoria of that moment quickly wore off and we knew we wouldn't be satisfied until the dolphin swam up next to our boat. 

We circled the area several times as the kids called the dolphin, begging him to swim over to our boat so we could get a better view.  One of the passers-by saw our desperate attempts and told us that the dolphin's name is Moochie - because he loves mooching off of boats.  

"Moochie," the kids called.  "C'mere Moochie.  Here Moochie."  Surprisingly, the dolphin wasn't too quick to respond.  

Just when we were getting ready to give up and head for home, we looked behind the boat and saw what we'd been waiting for all day.

All dolphin pics courtesy of Abby.

The dolphin came up right next to the boat, and flashed his best smile.  The kids (and Andrew) were going crazy.  I kept reminding them that this isn't Sea World and not to get their hands too close - I was seriously a little nervous!  For the next fifteen minutes, "Moochie" swam around and under our boat, popping up every few minutes to smile.  It was incredible. 

Finally, Moochie got bored with us and swam off to find another boat.  It didn't matter though - we were satisfied.  It was the perfect way for us to end an amazing day and it was time to go home.  It was such a highlight of our trip.  We felt so spoiled by Jeff and Allyson and we were so grateful for their hospitality.  

I think my kids my summed it up best in the thank-you cards they wrote to Allyson and Jeff.

I love the line, "I loved doing that with you because I had never experienced the mist in my face and the wind in my hair."

I love the line, "I never tried tuna fish and lettuce but it is nice to try new things."

We'll never forget riding on the boat or finding "Moochie."  It was such an unexpected bonus of going to Florida and a highlight to a fantastic trip.  Thanks Allyson and Jeff for an absolutely unforgettable day.