Poet Laureate of the Hugh Hewitt Show
The week’s events, told in rhyme.
Tarzana Joe turns the headlines — and your biggest occasions — into verse worth reading aloud. Heard nationwide. Written, sometimes, just for you.
As heard on
The Hugh Hewitt Show
A weekly feature on the nationally syndicated program — “our Poet Laureate.”
Fresh off the pen
The latest verse
Nine new poems on the week that was — politics, faith, and the occasional set of overpriced golf clubs.
What A Week
Some weeks are like my beat-up car With topics by the dent-full But seldom have I seen a week That’s been so uneventful A diary displayed the risks Of document retention But in the mainstream media It barely got a mention We tuned into the Senate For the insight it…
Politics Means Never Having to Say You’re Sorry
He used to be a NAZI
But now that problem’s solved
He’s standing here to tell you
His positions have evolved
Exeunt Omnes
I’ve lived through 8 pontificates
7 are now dead
This is the first encyclical
That I have ever read
Wrong
There was a UN document
Called RCP eight-five
That said the changing climate
Would roast everything alive
Memorial Day
In a week when it’s apparent
That there’s so much light at stake
In your liberties and lives
And in decisions you can make
No, Virginia…
A little girl asked sweetly
So many years ago
“If I read it in the paper, dad
Is it really so?”
Boomers, Ho!
I went to buy some golf clubs
But found it so bizarre
The price to buy a driver
Was the same as my first car
We Do This Every Sunday (with thanks to Bishop Barron)
We do this every Sunday
We gather and we pray
And though this may surprise you
Some do it every day
Happy Holidays?
My favorite month was February
When I was a kid
We had two separate holidays for Presidents
We did.
Not Just Politics
A poem for every occasion
The same wit and craft you hear on the radio — made personal for the moments that matter most.
Commission a poem
I want a poem
Tell Joe about the subject or the event. The more detail you share — the age, the story, the inside jokes — the more personal the poem.
Joe will reach out to confirm pricing and walk you through the rest.
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About the length you hear him read on the radio. Limericks and epics are negotiable.
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Between two covers
Buy my book — It Only Hurts When I Rhyme
A collection of the best poems by talk-radio poet Tarzana Joe. Joe takes on politics and politicians with rhyme and humor on topics that range from electric cars to tooth decay. Delight your conservative friends — or annoy your liberal ones. A book they won’t be able to put down, except to toss it across the room.
And the new one is here too: The 2nd Best of Tarzana Joe. Find it at the same sellers — just search “Tarzana Joe.”