Client: Is it North or South of Route 24?
Manager: Well, that depends on where you’re coming from.
Client: Oh, really? How does that work?

Huntington, New York

Assistant checking weather online: Ohhh! Derek* got 12 inches yesterday!
Cube rat: I’m sorry, what did you say?
Assistant: He got 12 inches!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Coworker: Don’t close my door. Jack* and I like to communicate.
Jack: What’d you say?

Williamsburg, Virginia

Social worker: Honestly, what parent in their right mind hands a toddler who is just learning to walk a wire hanger as a chew toy in goodwill and thinks it’s a good idea?

Medical Center
Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: makin a difference

Lieutenant: You work for a law enforcement agency, not a pirate ship!
Employee with sideburns: Sir?

Columbus Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts

Painting professor: I paint for people who look at art. Like, my mom will look at this and go, ‘Oh, I like the blue.’ And I don’t have to explain to my mother that this is actually about some weird sex thing I did.

Providence, Rhode Island

HR clerk: Excuse me, ma’am, but it appears that you have something stuck in your pantyhose on your left leg.
Visiting manager’s wife: I’m not wearing pantyhose!

5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Scientist at desk to tech in lab: Just because you want to see hot firemen doesn’t mean you have to set off the alarm!

20925 Crossroads Circle
Waukesha, Wisconsin

Cute intern reading UPS package label: Hey, Gerald*, you got a big package!

Hollywood, California

Overheard by: fatty

Phone rep: Yes, Jerry* is here. Would you like me to punch him?

915 Broadway
New York, New York

Overheard by: Sarah R