John's Adventures

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Returning To Mountain Biking After 20 Years

April 20, 2026

Long time readers of this blog may recall I spent a lot of my 20s mountain biking. Pretty much all my spare time was spent riding up hills, then riding down them again all around Yorkshire and the Lake District. Good times!

But you know how it goes, people start settling down, getting married, having kids, moving away (or all of the above) and before you know it you’re the only one left and in the pre-social media days meeting up with other like minded individuals was difficult. So I ended up biking on my own. Around that time I started playing more and more amateur football and in time my bike sat in my garage unused. And there it stayed for around 15 years, slowly gathering dust.

Which is a shame as before I mothballed it I’d actually bought a rather good full suspension bike, a 2004 Marin Wolf Ridge. With a Whyte designed frame and 6 inches of rear travel, in its day it was a beast and a revelation for me allowing me to blast over rough terrain with ease. Every time I went into my garage I’d look and promise myself I’d get it serviced and start biking again. Then I got divorced (amicably), she got the house and I left the bike. On the plus side, at least I didn’t have to keep looking at it feeling guilty it was unused. Every cloud.

Now remember I started jiu jitsu a couple of years back hoping it would improve my hip flexibility? Well it didn’t quite work out that way and I started to get persistent hip pain. Many physio trips later and eventually, on my 51st birthday no less, I had a scan that confirmed what I long suspected – arthritis. I believe a football injury many years earlier had triggered bone growths around my hip joint that was both limiting its movement and causing me no end of pain. Which was not exactly ideal. The standard approach was strength work – make all the muscles around my hip so strong that they’d take the load off it and hopefully reduce the pain. No jiu jitsu during the period and a lot of tedious gym work, pain, frustration and so many false horizons it made my head spin.

And then I took a long weekend trip to France to visit my friend Stuart, one of the guys I used to mountain bike with before he moved. He’d recently acquired a couple of e-bikes and suggested we give them a go. I was finding walking painful at the time so thought what the hell and got on a bike for the first time in well over a decade. It’s true what they say, you never forget how to ride a bike, but my left hip did. The cycling movement just felt wrong, like my hip didn’t want to move in that direction. I now know that the muscles weakened by arthritis were firing in a bad pattern that restricted what I was doing. We only went a few miles and two things became apparent. One is that turbo mode on an e-bike is amazing! It was like being an Olympic cyclist with so much effortless power, it was addictive! And the other one, once I got off, my hip felt amazing.

We went out the next day and this time the hip movement felt a little less weird, but again afterwards the same fantastic feeling. It was pretty clear I needed to get my old bike from my ex, get it serviced and get out on it. Once I returned home that’s exactly what I did. My local bike shop took it in and I basically said “do whatever you need to do to bring it up to spec”. Subsequent research showed mountain biking had moved a long way in 15 years. No more front gear shifter, much bigger wheels, completely changed frame geometry, dropper posts and plenty more besides.

In the end they replaced the drive train – so now I had only a rear shifter, they left the suspension (with instructions to keep an eye on them and sure enough after a while the rear collapsed so they sourced me a modern replacement that was super plush) and brakes which they freed off, new tyres, lots of greasing of things up and finally fitted the best new invention ever – a dropper post. With the flick of a thumb you can make the seat drop down to the frame – great when going down steep hills or trying to throw your leg over to get on the bike when you have arthritis in your hip – then flick and it goes back up again. Such a brilliant invention! Anyway, I got my bike back and had to buy everything else – a helmet, biking clothes, even biking shoes (I used to use clipless pedals but modern flat pedals are a lot better than 20 years ago, plus with my hip I had no idea what sort of foot placement I’d be using on my pedals). And then I started riding along my local canals.

It didn’t take me long to ask myself – why did I ever stop? I used to love biking along trails and I still do – it’s not so much recapturing my youth as just doing something again I used to love and re-finding myself in the process. I don’t mind biking on my own either – we live in the future so I have smart glasses and AirPods and can listen wirelessly to music, podcasts or audiobooks as I ride. After many months of riding (combined with my other physio and strength training) I spend most days entirely pain free, I’m back being terrible at jiu jitsu and I feel great. But there’s a problem. And that problem is e-mountain bikes or eMTBs.

The problem is they’re awesome. The problem is they have all the modern touches of mountain bikes. And the ability to give assistance to the early 50s rider to the point where they can do the sort of mountain tracks they did in their 20s without having to take performance enhancing drugs to do so. The fact of ageing is you can train hard, but you need a lot more recovery than you used to and there’s no way round that. But the thought of an eMTB has set my imagination running. You still have to pedal so it’s great fitness training, it just increases your capabilities and distance. And with a new generation being released this year and a drop in prices, the timing seems perfect. The major downside is of course the price. You can easily spend £10k on one which I really couldn’t justify. But as I mentioned, this year some very good and somewhat cheaper (but still reassuringly expensive) options are coming out that have me very tempted. And my friend Stuart says he has no regrets.

I suspect one will be on my horizon, but in the meantime I’m going to keep riding my trusty steed and enjoying myself. Next up, a trip to the Lake District I think, just like old times! What’s old is new again. It’s great to be back!

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John Does Jiu Jitsu

November 17, 2024

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I spent the past 25 years or so playing amateur football, winning the odd tournament and even managed to play some league matches with my girlfriend’s son and his mates who are 30 years my junior (which I wrote about here). But as is always the case with age, it became increasingly apparent that while I still loved the game, my body just couldn’t do it any more. A lower back injury snowboarding made me re-evaluate what I was going to do going forwards as an hour of football a week meant I’d spend the rest of the week hobbling around, stretching, training and recovering just to play. And I was only getting slower and worse.

Gym work which I talked about in Staying Fit in Your 40s (I’m 50 now) will always be a part of my life but I needed something more. Something to train for. Something a bit competitive and ideally with other people. And it turned out the answer came courtesy of my girlfriend’s son again. He started training Brazilian jiu jitsu and was loving it. I’d followed the UFC since the start and was well aware of jiu jitsu but thanks to my total lack of hip mobility I always figured it was something I couldn’t do. I was discussing this with my physio while he was sticking his elbow into my lower back (while recovering from that back injury) and it turned out he was a blue belt (now purple belt) and said I’d be fine so should definitely give it a try. No more excuses!

Once my back injury was rehabbed and I had returned to a decent fitness level I contacted my local jiu jitsu gym and turned up for a trial class. I’d done plenty of research online so knew what to expect and that I was going to have to leave any ego I still had at the door. I wasn’t nervous, just curious to see if it was something I’d be able to do and replace what I lost quitting football. The answer a year later was yes and yes! But it’s tough, really really tough.

If you’re interested in Brazilian jiu jitsu yourself there are far better resources online to talk about it than me, but what I can do is give a good perspective on a 50 year old with no martial arts experience giving it a go.

Here I am with my physio Craig whose fault it is that I started jiu jitsu!

Jiu jitsu is a grappling based martial art where the goal is to score points (which you can do from take downs and gaining various pinning positions) to win or submit the person where you put them in a position to hyper-extend a joint, strangle or smother them. Which sounds terrible, but you tap the person when you’ve had enough, they release and you can reset (unless you’re in a competition whereby you’ve just lost). Sounds simple enough but there is almost endless variability to the techniques people apply and for every offensive move there is a counter which can also be countered and so on. People compare it to chess and personally I suck at chess which indeed makes it a very good comparison it turns out!

Any illusions I had that I’d pick it up quickly were very much dispelled. I was used to trying a sport, immediately getting the hang of it and then being pretty good at it. With jiu jitsu I was definitely not a natural, it felt like my brain was thinking in slow motion to understand what was happening and what I was supposed to be doing and month after month after month I continued to find it ridiculously hard to learn. And a year later? While I’ve definitely improved, the more I’ve learned the more I realise there still is to learn. It’s a common line that people say how much they suck at jiu jitsu and that’s certainly true. But honestly, I really suck at it!

Some days you’re the hammer and some you’re the nail. But for the past year I’ve been 99% the nail and that’s ok with me!

The class structures tend to start with a self defence move or a take down which you drill, then work on some specific moves that you practise with your partner, then there’s positional sparring where you try to apply what you’ve just learned while your partner resists within a specific set of conditions, then you switch around. It’s an excellent workout both physically and mentally. Not helped by the fact that most other people are half my age or less. But you learn that your body can do all sorts of interesting things when you’re shown how and that tiny details make huge differences. However progress is slow and much more experienced people make it look easy, but do reassure you that they found it difficult too and while they’re clearly way beyond me, they still feel like they suck too. There are levels to this game.

I wondered initially how I’d feel with such close contact to other people, wrapping my legs around them, them around mine, being crushed and squashed, strangled, etc. But I found it didn’t bother me at all. I’m totally focussed on learning and I never get claustrophobic so almost immediately holding a conversation with someone while they mount you and try to strangle you seemed perfectly normal. Plus there’s a core understanding that if you want anything to stop that you’re not happy with you tap and it’s all over. Nobody wants to actually hurt you, they all just want to learn and improve too. I’ve found it to be a very positive and supportive environment and actually not violent at all. A more chilled group of people you’re unlikely to meet! Although they could kill you if they wanted to – which is probably why – nobody is trying to prove how tough they are.

A few months in and I was deemed experienced enough to start sparring. And this is where things really got interesting.

Sparring involves 6 minute rounds (I think? I never look at the clock) of one on one jiu jitsu where you can choose to start standing or sitting. And then, if your name is John Conners, you proceed to be absolutely destroyed. I’ve been thrown around like a rag doll by women half my size, kids a third of my age, athletes at their peak and reassuringly by people over a decade older than me. And I’ve loved every minute of it! The first time I sparred with a woman (who absolutely destroyed me by the way) I was so impressed as it gave me a glimpse of the potential of jiu jitsu when you actually have skill (which, to be clear, I do not). My size and strength advantage was irrelevant as I continually found myself being throttled by my own gi. I’ve been arm barred, strangled, triangled and generally beaten up more times than I can count and it was a very very long time before I actually managed to get a legitimate tap myself (meaning I submitted someone else). But I really didn’t care at all because I’m not interested in winning or losing, I’m interested in learning something that people who’ve spent 20 years doing still feel like they have a huge amount to learn. That’s the fun of it.

The other cool thing is if someone submits me in a roll (which is what sparring is known by) I can just ask “what did you do there?” if I don’t understand and they’re happy to show me and walk through it. They’ll tend to tell me what mistake I made that led to them seeing an opening and taking it. The idea being if I can learn to defend it then they have to try something else and it makes them better too. I’d initially worried that being so useless I was wasting the time of higher belts but in fact they’re able to practise things on me that someone of similar or above skill level won’t let them get away with so again they improve. And I learn how to defend and slow them down (or at least that’s the idea). Everyone learns and everyone improves.

I was looking for something to keep me fit and active as I get older. But something that I can learn and would challenge me mentally too was what I needed. With Brazilian jiu jitsu I’ve found both.

I’m not in competition with anyone else just myself. I don’t have to keep up with the kids, I just go at my own pace and do my best. While a lot of days I’m getting crushed and feel like I’m getting worse, I’m usually able to take something positive with me, like making it harder to submit me than usual. Or maybe I’m finally able to sweep someone and get into an offensive position. Small, incremental gains. It’s such a great leveller that I can learn from a teenager who might in the outside world look to me as someone who knows what they’re doing (hah, little do they know!). The great thing about sport is it’s your ability that counts, not who you are, what you do outside for work or anything else. I feel at home in an environment like that surrounded by fit, motivated, active people where I’m just another guy who sucks and is trying to get better.

Much like football I’ve had to contend with injuries along the way. Rib and muscle pulls are common as having people crushing you is something that takes time to get used to. I’ve sprained an ankle (been there before). And those inflexible hips I mentioned do take a hammering. While they’re improved a bit, I have a couple of old football injuries that can flare up and cause me to take a bit of time to recover and rehab (I know, I know, I need to do more yoga!). Plus until I got the hang of break falls I’d dread getting thrown on the ground as I’d often land flat on my back which would hurt for days. I won’t be trying judo any time soon. Recovery takes a lot longer now I’m 50 but I listen to my body when it needs a rest and it’s all good fun – if it was easy it wouldn’t be worth it!

So here I am a year in, a four stripe white belt – the belts go white > blue > purple > brown > black and generally you get up to 4 stripes along the way on each belt – and I’m definitely far better than I was a year ago. When I’ve been paired with people doing a trial class it’s apparent how much that progression has been. While it’s been obvious that people wearing a coloured belt are way better than me from my first days, I’m now starting to understand just how big the skill gaps are and what a huge mountain it is to climb. And that there actually is no summit. And that I use mountain climbing analogies way too much for my own good.

The old proverb “the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is now” definitely applies to Brazilian jiu jitsu for me. I wish I’d quit football and started a decade ago. But I’m glad I found it now and I’ll keep at it as long as I can. I’m always going to suck at it, but I’ve never been afraid to embrace the suck!

If you yourself have ever considered giving it a go. Maybe you have a competitive spirit and want to compete. Or you want to learn self defence. Or are just looking for something new to try. Then I’d highly recommend finding a gym and giving it a try. It’s such an adaptable sport that no matter your fitness level or whether you have disabilities, you can learn and become proficient. And no matter how old you are as I’ve discovered it’s totally accessible. But as with most things in life you have to remember you’re only in competition with yourself. And that nothing worth doing is easy. Keep that in mind and you’ll love it. Give it a shot, you won’t be any worse than me!

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The Northern Lights

October 11, 2024

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I’m surprised I didn’t write about it at the time, but way back in 2003 I was massively into mountain biking. So a friend and I resorted to night mountain biking during the Winter to get our off season fix. One night we were biking in the cold and dark near a place called Appletreewick in the Yorkshire Dales. Mid-way up a steep climb we decided to stop and take a breather for a few minutes and switched off the lights on our bikes. And then both at once we looked up. It seemed like there were a lot of lights shining around, I assumed from a nightclub or something but then I remembered I was in the middle of nowhere, hence why I looked up. And what I saw utterly blew my mind.

We stood in stunned silence for a very long time watching the dancing lights of what happened to be a once in a decade strong aurora and it was both incredible and also emotional. If you’ve ever seen a video of an aurora you’ve likely seen a time lapse video taken from stitching a bunch of long exposure photos together. And that looks cool, but is nothing like how it really looks. The way it seems to move feels like it’s alive, and your brain tells you it’s alive and it touches your heart and soul in a way that you can’t really describe, you have to experience.

The first time I found a video of what I saw actually looked like (although there were also red tinges when I saw it) it took me right back to how I felt at the time. It’s shot in Canada and you can watch below:

Back in 2003 you just had to be lucky to see it. However nowadays there are apps and websites that can tell you when there’s likely to be aurora activity and how far south you might be able to see it. Of course you also need clear skies which living in Yorkshire as I do means most of the time I’ve got no chance of seeing it again. Plus most photos you see are long exposures and pick up lights you can’t actually see with your own eye. The reality is usually a disappointment compared to what you see online.

Except the other night I just happened to be out bringing my recycle bin around the back of my house and when I do that I always look at the sky to see the stars if it’s clear. It was, but it also had an unmistakable red tinge to it – to which I said out loud to nobody: “I need to get somewhere dark!”. I jumped in my car and drove near to where I originally saw the aurora with my friend Jon 21 years ago. And this time I had my iPhone with me (I had no such technology with me in 2003) so while being treated to an incredible visual spectacle I could clearly see with my own eyes, but I could capture some photos to look back on. None of which required any editing and are pretty accurate to what I could see with my own eyes.

I lost touch with Jon over the years. Which happens as people’s lives go in different directions. But I often think about that magical night staring at spirits dancing around the sky. Something I now realise is an incredibly rare experience and we were very lucky to have.

Jon took his own life in 2020 aged 50 which I was terribly sad to hear. He was a really nice and super smart guy with a dry wit, not to mention being a talented climber. And I won’t lie, driving back to where we saw the aurora all those years ago to see it again was emotional. Leaning against my car watching the dancing lights in the freezing cold entirely alone was just as magical as before. And at least this time I could drive home rather than carry on slogging up a steep hill on my bike with Jon making it look easy. But if I could go back…

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My Recurring Tornado Dreams Finally End! With a Tornado!

August 29, 2023

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I wrote way way back in 2005 that I had this recurring dream where in the dream I see a tornado (or sometimes multiple tornadoes) and then say or think “wow, after all these years of recurring tornado dreams I finally see a real one!” before I wake up and realise it was yet another dream. Or sometimes in the dream I’ll realise it’s a dream and that it’s all fake and once again I’ll wake up and it’s gone. This recurring dream has continued over the past 18 years.

The dream is never in the same place or same situation. I’ve had one where it’s like the world is about to end and there are fires in addition to multiple tornadoes and I’m running for my life. I’ve had others where I’m walking along a beach and see a water spout or in the hills and spy one in the distance. But one thing I never dreamed about was driving from Skipton to Harrogate in North Yorkshire and spotting a tornado as I come up to a roundabout on a regular, not particularly hot, not particularly cold day in August.

So imagine my surprise when I’m driving from Skipton to Harrogate and see a dark cloud in the distance. As I always do, I look to see if either the entire cloud is rotating (it wasn’t) or there’s a jet streaking down that looks like a funnel (which there was). Wait. What?! Despite driving alone I said out loud: “that’s a tornado!” before some trees got in the way. As I managed to get clear I took the following photos where you can see that yes, indeed that is a tornado!

A typical Yorkshire view with fields and trees in the foreground and dark clouds in the background. Only there's also a tornado spout in the middle.

A tornado above some trees in the distance

It hadn’t quite touched the ground and researching on social media for other people who saw it, it indeed didn’t hit land. But it was nevertheless quite unusual to see one where I did. As I continued driving I started to question myself. Was I dreaming and about to wake up? Everything felt real. It didn’t feel like one of those bizarre recurring dreams. And a couple of weeks later I’m starting to think it really did happen and my recurring dreams will finally end. Or if I have another one at least I’ll be able to say “oh yeah, seen one of those already, no big deal”!

If I never see another one I’ll be fine with that – they can be incredibly destructive. But just seeing one with my own eyes was something I’ve literally dreamed about for years and sometimes dreams come true!

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Hiking To An Active Volcano in Iceland

August 8, 2023

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My girlfriend and I just returned from a trip around Iceland and to say that it over-delivered would be a massive understatement. On researching the trip (which started with a couple of days road tripping around Reykjavik) I was expecting us to see a lot of waterfalls and hike up a few mountains. What I didn’t realise was that we were going to end up doing something I never thought I would by hiking to an active volcano and watching lava spilling out of it.

Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t go near a volcano without an expert guide – those things are unpredictable and incredibly dangerous. Sure the lava will liquify you in seconds, but the gasses a volcano emits are arguably more dangerous as a change of wind direction can have catastrophic results. When my girlfriend mentioned visiting the volcano once she saw it on the news I was at first not keen (to say the least). We were staying at an AirBnB and the host (who was Icelandic) described it as a “tourist volcano”, meaning you can just walk to it safely as a tourist. He said the volcanoes that erupt in the glacier regions are the dangerous ones but this one would be no problem. So the next morning off we went in our hire car to do the 10km walk in.

The walk in started along an easy angled gravel track used by the rescue vehicles going back and forth, mostly carrying water as the volcano had ignited half the hillside in the previous days. What’s interesting is the entire landscape was clearly created by previous volcanic eruptions and all the surroundings were solidified lava covered in moss. You could see the evidence of volcanic activity everywhere you looked. This was clearly a land formed by fire and it was no surprise our host was unfazed by an eruption – it’s been a fact of life in this part of Iceland for millenia.

Eventually we rounded a corner and caught our first glimpse of the actual volcano.

We kept a respectful distance from the solidified lava but to see miles of it covering the landscape having only started erupting a couple of weeks before gave us an idea of how powerful they. Particularly given this one is called “Litli-Hrútur” or “little Ram” so is only small in the volcano world. I started getting excited as I knew we had a long way more to walk and that would take us very close to the actual crater and as you can just see in the photo above, the lava was bubbling away.

Another hour or so of walking the crater finally came into view in all its glory. Everything smelled of a barbecue due to the entire area being on fire a couple of days before. There were helicopters circling overhead, giving lazy tourists a view of the crater from above. But seeing the lava bubbling just a few hundred metres in front of my eyes – having seen countless documentaries over the years showing the same – was just magical. As you can see in the video below:

We took the obligatory selfies, photos and videos, then just sat down to stare at it just off the solidified lava field. When I was a child I remember reading about volcanoes, what caused them, how dangerous they were and I always imagined what it would be like to actually see one, but never really thought I would. As I sat there watching I knew my 5 year old self would have been so jealous of me!

Of course this was the one trip I didn’t bring my drone along to (since I’d often carry it and just leave it in my bag). Fortunately there were plenty of other people flying them capturing even more incredible footage, like this over on Instagram.

Truly a once in a lifetime experience and I still can’t quite believe we saw it! In spite of the long hike in there was a steady stream of people all day and every one of them will have left with an astonishing memory to last a lifetime. As for the rest of my time on Iceland, it’s a beautiful country I’ll definitely return to for some more in depth exploring.

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A Week On Madeira, Followed By Another

May 12, 2023

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Back in the days of lockdown foreign travel was not an option. Walking around the local park was about as much travel as you could do in the UK. However between two periods of lockdown – October 2020 – one of the few countries I could travel to was Madeira, a Portuguese island located off the coast of Africa. Truth be told I was familiar with Madeira cake, but wasn’t even aware it was an island at all. However the chance to escape the UK was too tempting so we got our covid tests and off we went for a week.

It didn’t start smoothly as the plane took off, turned back and landed back in Heathrow due to a technical glitch on the plane. A night in a hotel and we were off the next day. However it turns out Madeira is paradise for an outdoorsy guy like myself. There are white sandy beaches, black volcanic sandy beaches, beautiful mountains, hiking trails for all levels, great food, incredibly friendly people and perfect weather for a Scotsman (i.e. not too hot, not too cold). Plus since everyone was tested on entry, it felt like a safe haven away from coronavirus and back to the world before. It was delightful.

A selfie of my girlfriend and I looking over to Funchal in the distance

A photo looking out to sea with a pool in the foreground and my girlfriend looking into the distance

A photo of me with arms out on the north eastern most tip of Madeira with the land narrowing to the sea

My girlfriend standing on the top of a cliff with the sea in the background

My girlfriend and her niece smiling to the camera with some coastal cliffs in the background

A picture of some freshly cooked fish on a table with a spectacular view of the sea and mountain in the distance

A black and white photo of a gnarly looking tree, straight out of a horror film

A selfie with myself, my girlfriend and her niece with hills and a rainbow in the background

My sat at a table looking at a hanging selection of food

My surfing, although not exactly looking like a professional

Myself, my girlfriend and her niece standing on a beach in wetsuits with massive surfboards next to us trying to look natural

A photo of me surfing with a girl in the background looking unimpressed

My girlfriend with hands aloft standing between two palm trees and the coastal view in the background

My girlfriend and her niece standing by a sign on a trail in the hills

My girlfriend's son, my girlfriend, her niece and myself with a coastal view in the background

A selfie with some cloud covered hills in the background

My girlfriend, her niece and her husband stood by a fence overlooking some mighty mountains in the cloud, trying not to look cold

My girlfriend and I with some cloud topped hills in the background

A well marked path disappearing into the clouds in the distance

A photo of the bird of paradise plant, which looks like a colourful bird, hence the name

We had such a great time that in September 2022 we went back for another week and loved it just as much as before, if not more so!

One of the great things for hikers is a large set of marked hiking trails that range from nice, easy walks through forests to full days of hard grind through the mountains on the side of cliffs, through tunnels and over knife edge ridges. You gain access to areas that would normally be accessible only to hardy mountaineers. And all without destroying the beauty of the area – this is clearly an island loved by the people who live on it.

My looking over the balcony to a view of Funchal in the distance

Myself, my girlfriend and her son smiling for the camera in a cable car

A photo of a coffee with floral latte artwork

A photo of the sea with calm blue water below the horizon and blue sky and clouds above

My girlfriend kneeling down on a black volcanic sandy beach with the surf and sea in the background

My girlfriend walking alongside a levada, a manmade water aqueduct about a metre wide

My girlfriend leaning over a fence to see the view through the trees with mountains and clouds in the background

A selfie of myself and girlfriend in the forest with water and rocks behind us

My girlfried leaning on a fence looking out to sea with the coast running into the background

My girlfriend outside a traditional hut with thatched roof in an inverted v shape, the roof almost touches the ground

My girlfriend walking towards the camera with a spectacular coastal road and view in the background

A selfie on top of the mountains, blue skies in the background

My girlfriend leaning on a fence with mountains in the background

A selfie of a hot looking Scotsman (me) and my girlfriend in the background, it's a sunny and it is definitely a hot one

My girlfriend and I looking a bit tired, almost at the half way point of our walk with a sign post in the background

My girlfriend standing on the edge of the path and more mountains in the backgroudn

My girlfriend walking over what would be a knife edge ridge in the clouds were there not subtle fences at either side

A photo showing how Maderia hiking paths can be literally half way up a cliff, it's quite a view

Walking out of a tunnel carved into the side of a mountain

When I visited New Zealand many years ago I always thought that if you got to design a place from scratch and right all the wrongs of every other country, New Zealand was it. I feel the same way about Madeira, it’s just a wonderful place and there’s nothing I’d change about it.

Interestingly Madeira’s most famous son is Cristiano Ronaldo. Whether you’re a football fan or not I’d highly recommend visiting his museum in Funchal. There you can see just what an incredible set of achievements he’s had. The trophies, the Ballon d’Ors, the hat trick balls, the photos, memorabilia and letters from fans. It’s very tastefully done and rightly shows off he’s one of the most talented footballers ever to lace up a pair of boots and is a legend. My girlfriend is not remotely interested in football but was left highly impressed by what one man managed to achieve in his career.

A selfie with me smiling in front of the entrance to the Cristiano Ronaldo museum

A photo of my girlfriend's son next to a status of Cristiano Ronaldo in his famous siuuu pose

A life size model of Cristiano Ronaldo with me standing next to it

My girlfriend's son standing toe to to with a model of Cristiano Ronaldo

A model of Cristiano Ronaldo stood next to my girlfriend who is significantly shorter

Some Barclays premier league awards in a presentation case

Some of the many signed hat trick balls in a large cabinet belonging to Cristiano Ronaldo

The 2013 Ballon d'Or belonging to Cristiano Ronaldo, all 5 are on display

The premier league trophy won in the 2008-2009 season

Anyway, that’s just a taste of what a wonderful place Madeira is. We’ll definitely be back! There are still plenty of hiking routes to do, food to sample and beaches to walk on. Although while I enjoyed surfing, I think I’ll stick to land based activities.

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A Hike Up Bidean nam Bian, Glencoe

September 22, 2022

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I spent a lot of my late teens and early 20s hiking up the mountains of Scotland with friends and it’s something that’s stayed with me all these years since. I don’t get to go as often as I used to – I live in Yorkshire and the hills here don’t really compare, although the Lake District does have some proper mountains a couple of hours drive away – but I get out in the mountains when I can.

A couple of friends (including Scott, someone I’ve known all my life and is one of my original hiking companions) and I decided to camp in Glencoe (arguably one of the most scenic parts of Scotland) and tackle one of the mountains. I’ve been up all of the mountains around Glencoe (and in the case of the notorious Aonach Eagach ridge, I’ve climbed and traversed it many times) with the exception of Bidean nam Bian. So that was the plan. The guide book (I still have the same Munroes guide book from my youth) suggested a few routes and we chose one that should take just under 3 hours to get to the summit, then a little longer on the way back to make a circular route.

In my early 20s the time the guide book suggested was a target to beat. Turns out in my late 40s, in spite of staying in great shape, I was never getting anywhere near that time! My friend Scott has managed to stay about as fit as he was in his 20s so could have made the book’s time, although by his admission he’d have had to push it, but I wouldn’t have without requiring medical intervention at the top. So it was a case of going at our own paces and enjoying the scenery, which was no hardship!

We started out in unusually great weather conditions (I’ve not been climbing or hiking in Glencoe on many clear days over the years) and were treated to pretty much the perfect day in the mountains.

The walk up from the valley into the mountains is always a delight – you start off with flat ground and a loch before things get steeper and rockier. Our route took us up the side of a river with a path in some sections but others on some surprisingly steep rocky traverses (I’m assuming it’s not a popular route as we didn’t see a single person until we reached the summit).

But a real treat waited for us once we hit the ridge – a spectacular 360 degree view from the coast to Schiehallion (which as a really interesting history) far in the east to Ben Nevis and beyond north. Without a doubt the clearest view I’ve had on Glencoe having been many times over nearly 30 years.

Then it was more up as we followed the ridge with amazing views in every direction (except for the Scotsman in the foreground).

And onto the summit of Bidean with an obligatory team selfie (with Cappuccino for all, I’d brought a Jetboil with me – not pictured).

The way back down was via another top and down the far side. Again not a popular route as there was no path for the upper third and some careful route finding was required – not that uncommon in the mountains of Scotland – you don’t often get signs and well marked paths which adds to the charm for me.

A long grind later (fortunately Scott being super fit had decided to run ahead and go collect the car to save a walk along the road at the end – he’s a top lad) and we were back down looking up at where we’d been. The summit is between the two tops you can see and behind what looks like a summit in the middle.

A real highlight of the day was when Scott and I went back to meet my other friend who was a bit behind so we’d finish together. We heard the familiar sound of a helicopter in the distance, but as it got closer it turned out to be a military chinook only a few hundred feet off the ground (you often see fighter jets flying low in the valleys, frequently below you when you’re up a mountain, but I’d never seen one of these out and about before). As it flew past us I could see a couple of soldiers hanging out the back, one of whom waved back as I waved to them – they must have had quite a view! There but for a bit of bad luck go I! 🙂

I’d done a few preparation hikes before to get my legs ready for it so felt pretty good the next day, but it’s certainly hard work at any age yet incredibly rewarding. And I think it’s about time I replaced my old guide book after 30 years – the directions are far too vague and the estimates completely unrealistic. At least that’s my excuse! 😀

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Staying Fit In Your 40s

July 18, 2022

12 Nights on a Virgin Voyages Cruise

June 18, 2022

4 comments

Like many in the UK my impression of the demographic who “go on a cruise” is of people in their 70s or 80s who’re too old to travel themselves and instead go on what is basically a floating hotel to different places, then do organised excursions on land. When my girlfriend suggested we go on a Virgin Voyages cruise my initial thought was “but I’m way too young for a cruise, I know I’m getting older but I’m not that much older”. It turns out I was completely wrong and instead I had the best holiday ever! Some review style writing and a shed load of photos to follow.

What is Virgin Voyages?

Virgin Voyages are an adults only cruise company (part of Richard Branson’s Virgin Group) which (as of the time of writing) has two brand new, state of the art cruise ships that can house around 2700 passengers. They sail around the Caribbean and Mediterranean and we travelled on the latter. What sets it apart from the stereotypical “oldies” cruise ships my imagination made me think of is that their offering seems aimed at a much younger audience.

On board you can find several gyms (and I don’t mean just a few running machines, there is everything you’d need to stay in shape if you’re an elite level athlete, want to do yoga with an amazing view, hit a heavy punch bag or if you just want to do arm curls in front of a mirror). There’s even a running track! With countless classes from early morning yoga to HIIT sessions to one on one personal trainers to massages (all booked via the app on your phone while on board) there’s plenty to stay active. Plus you can get your haircut or even have a tattoo if you so desire (I skipped this one).

With over 20 restaurants (more about them later – spoiler: the food was amazing) you’re never stuck for something to eat and they have a full blown theatre where we saw various acts from acrobats to stand up comedy to a man who could solve the rubik’s cube blindfolded in seconds (I can solve the rubik’s cube in a few minutes so to see someone with such mastery was something to behold – very impressive).

There were pools and jacuzzis as you’d expect along with a large selection of bars. But the most striking thing to me was the staff who were absolutely delightful. They told us they were encouraged by Virgin to be themselves and it was nice to see so many of the crew being just that – there were countless nationalities, many people with tattoos, awesome haircuts and they made the trip even more fun as we got to know a lot of them.

And the demographic of the people on the cruise? I’d say they were mostly 20s-30s, fit, active and I definitely felt more towards the upper limit in terms of age (although there were people older than me). However age didn’t matter, everyone was treated the same and there was something for everyone to do.

The Cabin

Prior to departure Virgin Voyages offers a bidding process where you can bid for room upgrades to some of their “Rock Star” suites. Think business class vs economy class. I figured “what the hell”, bid on a few and ended up getting what’s called a “Brilliant Suite”. It was appropriately named.

The room was massive. It had a walk in wet room, the sort of bathroom I’d expect in a luxury hotel, a super king sized bed, balcony (all balconies have a hammock – where I spent plenty of time swinging watching the sea go by), L-shaped sofa to relax on, a record player (oh yes), a large drinks cabinet with free alcohol (almost none of it we drank but I can say the tequila was lovely) and a really handy vanity area for looking even more gorgeous (which I left to my girlfriend because it was never going to work on me).

One of the coolest features was the rooms lights and curtains were controlled from a tablet. It contained “moods” that once clicked would set the mood. One was “get it on” which closed the curtains, turned the lights to a nice shade of pink and played exactly the sort of tune you’d expect to hear if you were going to “get it on”! First time that button was pressed it was hilarious! 😀 I love the attention to detail.

Having such a luxurious and relaxing cabin meant we were more than happy to spend time chilling there. It was great after a day hiking up a hill on shore to come back and unwind, watching dolphins from the hammock. 12 nights there didn’t feel like long enough, it very quickly felt like home, something I never find even in top class hotels.

Now that said, having had a look at the standard rooms while on the ship I would also have been quite happy to spend time there too. With clever design features to maximise the space and the option of having “day mode” where the bed converts into sofas it wouldn’t have been much of a hardship. Although for me having a balcony would be essential, I loved relaxing watching the world go by from it.

The Valiant Lady (The Ship)

A cruise ship that can house 2700 guests comfortably is pretty big. Fortunately there were just under 1000 people on board when we travelled which meant we had free rein and never felt overcrowded anywhere we went. There were plenty of places to chill out and relax in the sun, or in the shade, or in the quiet, or where there were other people, in fact you could pretty much imagine any setting you wanted and go and find it on board. It was clear that a lot of thought had gone into the design of the ships various areas to provide different moods or atmospheres with a common design language throughout.

Staying in a rock star suite meant we had access to Richard’s Terrace, a section at the front of the ship where there was free champagne on offer in the late afternoon. It was cool, but we found our favourite spot was towards the back of the ship so didn’t spend a great amount of time there. Interestingly the average age of people on Richard’s Terrace was probably mid-60s! No conclusions drawn.

Having never been on a cruise ship before I had to keep reminding myself I was actually on a cruise ship. My brain thought I was in some luxury hotel / village and there was nothing to give away that I was floating on water. Well except when walking out on deck, obviously.

The staff were always on hand so were happy to go and get you food and drink lest you get off your lazy arse and get it yourself. Which brings me onto the next point…

The Food

Oh my. Where to begin. You know when you do your web based research about an eatery and of course all the photos of the food look amazing? Usually it’s because the photographer has used all kinds of tricks and things like hair spray to make the food look delicious and better than the reality. In this case, if anything the food was better than I expected, and I was expecting very very good food.

With over 20 restaurants to choose from, we were wondering if we’d be able to try everything in the 12 days of time on ship. Half a dozen of the restaurants need to be booked in advance – which you do on the app on your phone – but the rest are drop in. We started with “The Test Kitchen” as that looked the most interesting on paper with a selection of experimental style dishes and it did not disappoint. I’ve had tasting menus in Michelin star restaurants and while it wasn’t quite to that standard, it was pretty close. Thinking we’d already been to the best restaurant we went to “Extra Virgin” a couple of nights later (an Italian) and that was even better! Incredibly fresh seafood, delicious sauces and cooked to perfection. That high standard of cuisine was the common thread throughout our stay.

There was literally everything you could want whether you wanted to eat healthy salads, cakes, fried food, tasting menus, drink fancy coffees, etc. I can see why people put weight on when going on cruises if this is what it’s like – and the fact that all the food was included in the price made it even more of a bargain. I’ve been to a lot of restaurants over the years but few have rivalled the food I had on the ship. Here’s a selection of photos that show how it looked, but trust me, it tasted even better! (And no hairspray was used).

The Land Based Activities

Ok so a cruise is on water but eventually it docks and you can either stay on the boat or get off and go do something. While Virgin Voyages offered excursions you could book via the app, we prefer just wandering and hiking around so Google Maps combined with general web-based research gave us some great ideas for where we landed. Normally their mediterranean cruises start and end at Barcelona but we were on a one-off run from Portsmouth to Barcelona via La Coruña, Lisbon, Cádiz, Gibraltar, Málaga and Palma de Mallorca. In each place we found plenty to do and it was great spending a day wandering around, getting in the sights and then going back to the ship and relaxing. It was literally like staying in a luxury hotel that moved you from place to place while you slept. A lot easier than driving around and living out of a suitcase.

Can you tell I was coming around to liking cruises?

Anyway, as wonderful as the cruise ship was, it was nice to hit land and explore. And explore we did!

Overall Thoughts and Summary

Having previously never been the sort of person remotely interested in a cruise, I’ve 100% changed my mind. It’s a great way to see a bunch of different places without the stress of driving around, making connections, changing hotels and locations and things inevitably going wrong. When I drove around New Zealand that road trip was part of the fun, but if you want to both explore and unwind then a cruise like Virgin Voyages is an excellent way to go.

It’s basically two holidays in one. One is staying in a luxury all inclusive resort with amazing food and entertainment. The other is touring different cities on the coast. With none of the drawbacks! I’ll certainly cruise with them again, and it’s also made me want to check some of the other companies out to see what they’re like.

And when I am in my 70s to 80s, then I’ll know which ones cater to my age group. But for now, Virgin Voyages very much gets the John Conners Seal of Approval! Except the wifi, that was glacially slow. But I was on holiday so I didn’t care! 🙂

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20 Years Ago Today

June 3, 2022