After 45 minutes of struggling to open a Lalaloopsy Silly Hair Prairie Doll, I've determined it would be easier to get out of a strait jacket (or into one) than trying to get the doll out of the super engineered packaging.
It's not enough that the box is cleverly folded using a multitude of tab inserts to hold it in place, but why not put a fat piece of clear tape over each one as well? (Box cutter sold separately) The plastic cover over the front was indeed brilliantly secured to the cardboard box backing by inserting it through the cardboard using curved plastic tabs, like a fish hook, so pulling the secured plastic display back out the front would be impossible.
I then noticed the perforation in the back of the display box backing. I thought, ahh, someone is thinking over there in the packaging department. They've finally had enough complaints that they've decided to add some simple intuitiveness to the frustrating, painful process that opening kid’s toys have been in the past. They've given us any easy way to access all the knotted twisty tie's in the back that is securing the doll in place. Once I get those untied I'll still have to somehow cut the plastic cover off, I'll just have to use scissors there.
Unfortunately, simple intuitiveness was not to be. They were just teasing. After pealing back the perforated cardboard flap (thus ruining the nice picture on the back of the box) only a handful of the ties were actually accessible. The majority of the others were still out of reach, tucked underneath the outer edges of the box. Ok seriously, what was the designed toy detachment plan here? I'm gathering there never was one.
Is it really necessary to use 5 pounds of twisty ties to secure this doll to the cardboard packaging box? Apparently it is, along with a plethora of clear rubber bands. I am especially dumbfounded by the use of excessive, compartmentalized, unrecyclable plastic sealed so tight that I'm confident it could hold oxygen in outer space.
They even sewed the dolls skirt to the cardboard box backing, using the same orange thread from the skirt! Anyone not paying attention to this detail would most certainly tear the skirt of the doll as they tried to pull it free. And of course they added a nice piece of fat clear tape over that knot too, just to secure the secured knot I'm sure.
They used clear rubber bands to secure the dolls legs to the cardboard by wrapping the bands around the dolls feet, inside her boots. The boots are slitted in the back to look like they come off except that they don't come off. So the plastic bands are nearly impossible to remove from the doll even after cutting them and trying to excise them using clippers and tweezers (each sold separately). I was preparing my arguments to my 4 year old that those bands hanging out of her shoes were really just boot accessories, when amazingly, they pulled free. I only left a permanent scratch on the back of one leg.
Because the plastic display used irreversible tabbed inserts and can withstand all but industrial-strength scissors, at this point I had to depend on the inner, untamed beast inside me to savagely just rip the cover off (patience waning).
But the more I tried to separate this stupid toy from the packaging the more I was sure that it was never meant to be opened in the first place, only looked at from a distant shelf someplace.
The last time I almost swore in front of my kids was when I reached for a hand towel in our kitchen drawer but found one of these instead (baby-back riders included):
These packaging engineers should be working for the pharmaceutical packaging department. If my two year old can open a "child proof" Tylenol container using his teeth in about 60 seconds, then you know they really need some help over there.
These toy packaging engineers have to be worth every penny of their toy packaging engineering degrees. I mean, it takes me more than 45 minutes using various tools and techniques to get a toy doll out of the packaging - that kind of engineering prowess should definitely be utilized somewhere else. Ok 45 minutes might be a slight exaggeration. I meant 45 times longer than it should have.
Can I return this 93% opened toy doll with assorted torn packaging and pieces and genuine heartfelt frustration? I think my 4 year old daughter would understand if I had to explain to her that obviously Santa didn't really mean for her to have this. Instead, here's a preassembled pink princess bike.
There you have it. Another consumer foiled by marketing package ploys. :(
