Gamebook Geek

Fighting Fantasy #15 - The Rings of Kether

2020-08-26T14:33:00.001+01:00

Title: The Rings of Kether

Author: Andrew Chapman

Illustrators: Terry Oakes (cover), Nik Spender (interior)

Published: 1985

Level of previous knowledge: Something about being an undercover investigator and a narcotics ring. In space. Yeah, nothing that isn’t on the back cover.

Plot summary: All is not well in the Galactic Federation. Nasty drugs are being exported from one particular system and the local authorities don’t seem to be doing anything about it, so they’ve called on me, a humble interstellar fruit salesman, to investigate and bring down the entire operation from within. No problem.

Rules: A hybrid of Space Assassin and Freeway Fighter – blaster combat and ship-to-ship combat are used in this book, the latter using the ship’s WEAPONS STRENGTH and SHIELDS. Smart missiles are this book’s equivalent of rockets, winning ship combat instantly. Four energy tablets replace provisions, restoring 6 STAMINA each. LUCK isn’t used in combat.

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 20, LUCK 8, WEAPONS STRENGTH 8, SHIELDS 5

Approaching the planet of Kether in my ship, I decided to begin my mission by wasting time and shields investigating the asteroid belt nearby, where I found nothing but two hostile, unidentified vessels which were much better shots than their stats suggested. Upon landing on Kether my ship was searched for illegal technology, but fortunately my smart missiles of utter destruction were perfectly legal.

Grumbling, I headed to the canteen for a drink and a mingle with the locals. Deciding that a coarse, burping woman was clearly of interest, I followed her home, where thanks to a handy sign I discovered her name was Zera Gross, and she was in the interplanetary import/export business. Congratulating myself on my amazing detective skills but not quite understanding why this was important at all, I settled down to watch her apartment for a while. Soon a visitor named Arthur showed up to see her, so when he left I tailed him carefully. Or not carefully at all – he spotted me following and ducked into the shadows, from whence he grabbed me as I passed. He scrawled a note telling me to be quiet because of a ‘spy beam’, and then another telling me to meet him at a nearby hotel.

Arriving at the run-down hotel, I climbed the stairs to the 12^th floor because the lift wasn’t working. Approaching the door to the room, I met an extremely shady-looking individual heading the other way. Choosing to investigate the room rather than follow him, my suspicions were quickly aroused when I knocked on the door and heard nothing but a groan from within. Smashing the door down, I discovered Arthur lying in a pool of his own blood. With his conveniently-timed dying breath he told me to beware Zera Gross and someone called ‘Blaster B…’. Chuckling slightly at the silly name, I reminded myself of the gravity of the situation, and looted the corpse hurriedly. The man’s wallet identified him as Arthur Flange (chortle) and a letter from someone named Clive (hilarious) told me that he had a meeting arranged for the next morning, adding that ‘Z’ doesn’t suspect their plans yet.

I decided to go to the meeting in Arthur’s place, so showed up at the Café Heroes of the Federation (yes, really) at 9am. The man, perhaps sensibly, didn’t show up, so I did some searching about and came up with his likely address. At the door I was greeted by Clive’s rather upset wife, who told me that Clive’s colleagues had murdered him after he told them he didn’t want to work with them any more (that’s a hell of an exit interview). Here I discovered that Clive was Zera’s accountant, and that a customs boss called Kalensus was in on the whole thing.

I headed straight for the Customs Office and caught Zac Kalensus, standing by a window. Suspicious. Then an 80s television cop took control of my voice and uttered one of the cheesiest lines I’d ever heard in an attempt to get the man talking. Somehow this had the desired effect, and he mumbled something about a satellite in orbit, that relayed information about shipments. I roughed him up a bit and he revealed the location of the dealers’ HQ, at the top of a tower in the city. I tied the man up with a telephone cord (that’d keep him quiet for ages, right?) and headed straight there.

On the 50th floor of the Isosceles Tower, I found the office of Zera Gross. Reflecting that I could have saved time by simply following her to work a day earlier, I sneaked down a corridor and entered a room where I caught two thugs in the act of shredding documents and incinerating memory chips. A hail of bullets ensued, and I was the last man standing. Helping myself to an automatic blaster which I was told would do extra damage in combat (even though it didn’t when I was the target), I turned to find myself ambushed by a bureaucrat wielding a paperweight. Dodging his attack, I wrestled him into submission and investigated a vidilink which provided the most useful information yet. The message I found informed all staff to destroy all files and rendezvous on an island thousands of kilometres away, and was signed by Zera Gross and Blaster Babbet (snigger).

Making my way to the remote island by helijet, I parked at the handy landing bay. Checking out a nearby anti-grav dray (not being Australian I had to Google this one – it’s a truck without sides) I considered the possibility of ramming the freight doors with it, but decided not to announce my arrival so loudly just yet, and made for another tunnel entrance. Inside I was met by some kind of giant cybernetic dog, which leapt at me and engaged in paw-to-hand combat. Its growl was worse than its bite, however, and it was dispatched easily.

Taking a turning, I entered a room containing a friendly robot who I called Johnny Five. Johnny Five rolled over to me and offered to clean my gun. I shoved Johnny Five out of the way and helped myself to the only useful thing in the room, a hand grenade, before going back to the corridor. The next room I entered contained four thuggish-looking guards who opened fire without asking questions, but luckily they’d not done the appropriate training yet and were terrible shots. The room was full of crates containing narcotics, but nothing of particular interest except a corpse in the corner, which looked like it had been through a rough time. I found some energy tablets clutched in its hand, which presumably would have fixed the man up nicely if he’d managed to get them into his mouth in time. Oh well.

After a brief encounter with a riddling robot where I managed to guess correctly without understanding my own answer, I wandered straight into the office of none other than Zera Gross herself, dictating to her robot sentry. Opening fire immediately I was able to put her down without injury to myself, in a brief, anticlimactic kind of way. The room adjacent to her office was the command centre of the operation, where I learned that the drugs were being manufactured on an asteroid, and noted its location before making my way back to my ship.

Blasting off into space once more, I headed for the asteroid belt, to find the asteroid in question well defended. I took out the surrounding mines with my phasers, taking some damage to the ship in the process, and was then confronted by batteries of phasers. Firing both my smart missiles (I figured this might be the last time my ship was involved in combat, and certainly would be if I didn’t) I barely managed a victory, with no SHIELDS left whatsoever. Parking veeeery carefully at a dock, I left the ship and entered a zero-gravity tunnel heading into the asteroid.

Coming to a large chamber I was met by a bizarre device consisting of metal cubes with bolts of electricity flying between them. It looked very interesting but was disappointingly inefficient at impeding my progress, my automatic blaster making short work of it. The next room was a large cavern where I was presented with the odd choice of leaping across some floating metal spheres to the other side, or walking amongst some tentacled creatures below. Wondering how the regular employees here would get around these obstacles, I leapt from sphere to sphere until I arrived at the exit, my SKILL making the task a trivial one.

The exit led to the main drug factory, where I amused myself for a while by sabotaging some of the equipment. Opening a door, I was confronted by a big-mouthed, three-legged alien which commanded me to halt so it could shoot me. Climbing over its corpse, I continued to the next room, which was a cube, each wall of which contained a door with a button. Pressing them at random, my very last choice was successful, opening into an identical room. This time I was successful on the second attempt, and I exited at the cost of 5 STAMINA and 1 SKILL point. Slightly sore, I was surprised to find myself facing two identical figures, both of which were apparently Blaster Babbet (heh) himself. Instead of shooting either of them I decided to dive through a folding screen, only to discover the real villain hiding behind it – both of the figures were some kind of reflections. The ensuing punch up did not go well for him, and I soon had him trussed up like a goose, my mission a success.

Conclusion: Success!

Number of combats: 9

Review

Writing: Another new setting for FF, this one a planet in a Galactic Federation that isn’t described as ‘alien’ as such, but is certainly weird and wonderful in different ways. Little touches like ‘crypto-fluorescent signs’ and ‘helicabs’ conjure visions of a futuristic Blade Runner style environment. The investigation element of the book is actually quite interesting, the numerous ways in which you obtain information keeping you moving from one location to another, piecing together the story. The main problem is the characterisations, both of the villains and the main character, which are lacking or poor. I’ve never enjoyed it when a gamebook puts words in my mouth, and to hear myself speaking such awfully cheesy and stupid lines dropped my immersion quite a bit. The two major villains had potential but were never fleshed out very much, particularly Blaster Babbet who I knew absolutely nothing about all the way to the end, except that he was the boss of the narcotics ring. Overall however it’s a much more cohesive story than Andrew Chapman’s last effort, Space Assassin.

Writing: 3/5

Artwork: Usually I don’t care too much for the sci-fi type drawings of robots and the interiors of spaceships, and while they’re not great here either, they’re certainly better than earlier books. Some of the illustrations of other environments and especially of people however are excellent. I’m not sure who is depicted on the front cover (it might be Zera Gross but doesn’t look like the internal illustration) but it’s not bad either.

Artwork: 3/5

Design: This is probably the least linear FF so far in that there seem to be many ways to progress through each stage of the story. This results in the overall adventure (at least the path I took) being significantly shorter than most earlier books, but this could be considered a good thing and certainly makes replaying the book more attractive, especially as there are actually two different ways to win. There is no ‘shopping list’ of items and a lot of freedom with decision making, as the book finds a way to get you back on the right track without it feeling forced. The disadvantage of this approach is that it does make the book a little easy, as demonstrated by my completing it on my first attempt without remembering anything about it. The lack of interesting items (all I picked up were combat upgrades) takes something away from the experience.

There aren’t many substantial combats in the book which feels like a shame, especially the lack of ship-to-ship combats (only three in the entire book), but it does kind of fit with the story that a detective would avoid combat as much as possible (but perhaps shouldn’t be as skilled as my character when forced into one).

Finally, although you play a detective in this book, at no point did I feel like I had to use the information I had learned to make an important decision – structurally it felt a bit like a tick-box exercise than an investigation as all conclusions were fed to me rather than hinted at and referred to later on. Even the riddle I was asked by a robot at one point was too easy because I just had to choose the first letter of the answer out of three options – I got this correct even though I had no idea what the answer was, and don’t understand it even in retrospect.

Design: 3/5

Fairness: From my somewhat limited playthrough (I only saw one possible path through the book) I had little trouble navigating the hazards in the book. There don’t seem to be many ways to find yourself at an instant death paragraph, and those that do exist appear to be the result of bad decision making rather than random chance. None of the combats were overly difficult although one unavoidable (I think) ship combat would have been almost impossible with a low SHIELDS statistic. I also didn't come across any clues that would have helped with the final confrontation - just a slight hint at Blaster Babbet's personality (turns out he doesn't have one) somewhere along the way could have been useful.

Fairness: 3/5

Cheating index: 0 Razaaks

Average enemy stats

Successful path:

11 enemies, SKILL 7.3, STAMINA 7.2

3 enemy ships, WEAPONS STRENGTH 6.3, SHIELDS 3.7

Entire book:

24 enemies, SKILL 7.4, STAMINA 6.9

5 enemy ships, WEAPONS STRENGTH 6.6, SHIELDS 2.6

Instant death paragraphs: 19

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: The book doesn’t make this claim, but with some lucky rolls this could just about be TRUE.

Final thoughts: A nice change of pace from other books in the series, this book presents an intriguing story and an alien setting which is more fleshed out than previous sci-fi efforts. It may be a little easy to complete because the decision tree is so forgiving but this makes for a short, fun, replayable adventure which although is slightly ridiculous in places, doesn’t outstay its welcome and is definitely worth playing.

Final score: 6/10

Fighting Fantasy #14 - Temple of Terror

2020-08-12T14:19:00.000+01:00

Title: Temple of Terror

Author: Ian Livingstone

Illustrators: Christos Achilleos (cover), Bill Houston (interior)

Published: 1985

Level of previous knowledge: I remember having to collect little dragon miniatures along the way or fail the quest (well, it’s Ian Livingstone after all). Also that there are a couple of different ways to get to the dungeon in the first place. Oh and who could forget the happy little fellow, the Messenger of Death…

Plot summary: A rather nasty chap called Malbordus was brought up by dark elves in Darkwood Forest, so of course has grown up to be a complete sociopath. For his eighteenth birthday he wanted five dragons, and found out that if he could retrieve the dragon artefacts from the lost city of Vatos, his wish would come true. The wizard Yaztromo says it’s unlikely that Malbordus would use such pets for anything other than evil, so it’s down to the brave warriors of Stonebridge to step up and explore Vatos en masse in order to find the artefacts before Malbordus does. No? OK, I’ll go by myself then.

Rules: Standard rules with no potion, but a box for Spells on the adventure sheet.

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 18, LUCK 7

Following Yaztromo directly through the Forest of Doom, I questioned how he could pass through with so little difficulty, given the fate that so many adventurers met here in the past. Yaztromo remarked that the creatures of the forest don’t dare mess with him, and it was actually more dangerous going around the perimeter of the forest as the wild hill men out there didn’t have any respect whatsoever. Wondering why Yaztromo didn’t just find the darn hammer parts himself instead of sending adventurers to die in the Forest of Doom, I eventually arrived at his tower, where Yaztromo offered to teach me a few spells before I embarked on my journey. Picking spells that seemed like they would be useful in a deserty ancient city kind of environment (Create Water, Fire, Read Symbols and Open Door) I was soon on my way, led for the first stage of my trip by the wizard’s pet crow, which I named Vel.

I was led to a bridge where some unsavoury types were loading a barge which looked far too small to accommodate me, so I decided on the other option, crossing the bridge and heading for the desert overland. Vel the crow didn’t stick around and callously abandoned me at this point, so I headed vaguely south and hoped for the best. Heading towards some smoke rising a short distance away, I arrived just in time to witness a couple of dark elves setting fire to a hut with flaming arrows, flushing out their quarry and filling him with more arrows. I had no idea who their victim was but this seemed a bit mean so I taught them a lesson they forgot instantly, because they were dead. A quick rummage earned me two gold pieces and a bow, which I thought might be useful if that damn crow ever showed up again.

Heading onward through the scrubland I came to an odd black patch of ground that smelled of decay, in the middle of which sat a medallion with ‘M’ inscribed on it. Retrieving the item was not an appealing prospect and it all seemed like a trap laid for the stupid, so I ignored it and continued on. After an uneventful night I was attacked by a harpy, which failed in its attempt to mesmerise me with its piercing cry and met a swift end at the edge of my sword. Later in the morning a giant eagle arrived to give me a lift to my destination. Fully expecting the ride to be a brief one, because help from an eagle is always either too late or short-lived, I hopped on and took off. Sure enough, a pterodactyl appeared from nowhere and attacked the eagle. My attempt at shooting it with an arrow failed, and I was not given a second chance despite specifically having found two arrows. The pterodactyl and eagle engaged in combat with me still hanging on to the eagle’s back, presumably too terrified to interfere. Unfortunately the pterodactyl turned out to be the superior combatant and my eagle plummeted to the ground and crashed, with no survivors.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #2

Stats rolled: SKILL 7, STAMINA 20, LUCK 7

Surprisingly this adventure ended not as a result of my pitiful stats, but because once again the giant eagle failed to fend off the pterodactyl’s attack. This was despite my Magic Arrow spell which sunk into the pterodactyl’s belly, for some reason only reducing its SKILL by 1 point and not affecting its STAMINA at all.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 0

Attempt #3

Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 19, LUCK 11

The pterodactyl wins again.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 0

Attempt #4

Stats rolled: SKILL 11, STAMINA 19, LUCK 8

The eagle wins! Flapping valiantly onwards, it soon landed to allow me to find shelter for the night. By the morning it had flown off again, thereby fulfilling its destiny as a giant eagle, by disappointingly being not as useful as it could have been.

Entering the desert proper, I soon found the Create Water spell to be useful, and wondered if Yaztromo was also a master of the Create Sun Lotion spell. Eventually arriving at a worryingly large skeleton of an unknown creature, I spotted a box among the remains, which I dug up to find a mirror and a clay pot. The mirror seemed useful, and being an experienced adventurer I assumed the clay pot was not, and left it alone.

Spending a night out in the open desert (Create Tent, anyone?) I awoke thirsty, and rather than simply cast Create Water again I decided to hunt around until I found a dangerous-looking spiky plant, which I was offered the opportunity to cut open. Declining, I was then offered the chance to cast the spell, and moved on. As I progressed I was grabbed by a pair of tentacles which emerged from the sand, intent of dragging me into a nearby gaping toothy maw. Despite prevailing easily over the tentacles I lost a SKILL point as a result of the unprovoked mauling my leg received.

Further on I encountered a legendary basilisk, who suffered from the typical villain trope of stashing the weapon that is their greatest weakness, somewhere nearby. In this case I whipped out the mirror I found earlier and the basilisk turned to stone. I then came across the corpse of a man who had a terrified, agonised expression on his face, and stole his water bottle. Good times.

Later on I came to the camp of a nomad, who invited me in and gave me food and water. I would have felt bad if I left without buying any of his goods, so I simply bought one of everything, except a mirror because I already had one, and vanity wasn’t my thing. With a pack full of potentially useful items, I was feeling good about life until a giant sandworm emerged from the sand in front of me, and despite my protests that I knew nothing about any spice, attacked without mercy. It was a close fight but the creature’s sheer perseverance overcame the power of my annoyance, and I succumbed to its onslaught.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #5

Stats rolled: SKILL 8, STAMINA 21, LUCK 11

Knowing I stood little chance of making it through the desert this time, I decided to explore the other route to Vatos, buying passage on the barge to Port Blacksand after some minor haggling. Arriving at the city, I sensibly decided to wander the streets of the City of Thieves as dusk set in. Ignoring a highly dodgy-seeming offer from an old man who claimed to have a spare bed for the night, I pushed on and soon found myself at the infamous Black Lobster where I paid for a room and some information about a ship setting sail in the morning. I was directed to the captain who took the princely sum of 10 gold pieces for passage on the Belladonna, first thing in the morning. On the way to my room, I crashed into a rather grumpy fellow and spilled his pints. I thought it best to avoid confrontation and paid yet more money for new drinks.

In the morning I made my way to the ship and was quickly informed that I was to take the place of one of the ship’s gunners, who hadn’t survived the night in Port Blacksand. Knowing what this would lead to, I waited until the inevitable man-of-war appeared on the horizon and hunted us down, firing cannonballs mercilessly until our ship sank. Swimming towards the attacking ship, I was relieved to find it crewed by dwarves who believed my story when I told them I was working for King Gillibran of Stonebridge, and offered to take me the rest of the way to the desert. Two days later I was deposited on a sandy shore somewhere near the desert with no idea which direction I should take.

Heading inland, I came across a corpse with a leather pouch clutched in its hand, which I searched to find a golden key, which looked useful, although why the previous owner was carrying it around the desert in his hands was a mystery. Further on, I came to a familiar tent where a nomad guilt-tripped me into buying his goods again. At this point I knew my purchases would not matter, as the unavoidable fight with the sandworm was next, and the outcome was utterly predictable.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 1

Attempt #6

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 20, LUCK 12

Pterodactyl.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 1

Attempt #7

Stats rolled: SKILL 8, STAMINA 21, LUCK 9

Pterodactyl.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 1

Attempt #8

Stats rolled: SKILL 7, STAMINA 20, LUCK 12

Eaten by the sandworm.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 1

Attempt #9

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 22, LUCK 12

Pterodactyl.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 3

Attempt #10

Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 19, LUCK 10

Pterodactyl. Seriously, this is daft.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #11

Stats rolled: SKILL 7, STAMINA 21, LUCK 12

Pterodactyl. Not that it matters.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 0

As I’ve had 10 attempts and it’s obvious that the giant sandworm will eat at least 50% of characters, not the mention the pterodactyl fight (anyone worked out the odds on that?), and I haven’t even reached Vatos yet, this could easily go over 100 attempts. From now on I’m rolling four dice and allocating them as I like for stats.

Attempt #12

Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 15, LUCK 8

Oh, FFS.

Choosing the sea route, I pulled off a miraculous win against the sandworm this time. Stumbling onward through the desert, I ignored an oasis on the basis that I could conjure water from thin air instead and not take any risks. Investigating a pile of rocks I was predictably stung by a scorpion but rewarded for my efforts when I found a sack, in which was glass ball containing some kind of sprite. After he was released he sprinkled some lucky dust on my head and told me to make a headscarf out of the sack. Because I was the least well-equipped person to ever attempt a desert crossing.

Later on I finally arrived at my destination – the lost city of Vatos! Opening the gates with a simple spell I walked until I found myself in an empty square and looked around. A dark stone archway looked promising, so in I went, heading down the stairs into the darkness. At the bottom of the stairs was an icon casket, so fully expecting a trap of some kind, I was bemused when it contained a well-made iron helmet, and more bemused when wearing it didn’t cause my brain to melt or anything.

As I wandered down the corridor, I was tapped on the shoulder and turned to meet an extremely attractive fellow who whispered the word ‘Death’ into my ear before disappearing into the darkness. Instinctively I knew that if I came across all the letters of the aforementioned word during my quest my life would be drained away. Groovy.

Undaunted, I indulged my exploratory tendencies by pulling open a pair of drapes and was almost disappointed to find nothing but a door, which I opened to find an odd room containing nothing but an ice bucket hanging from the ceiling. Oh, and a massive centipede that attempted to eat my legs. Oh wait, it succeeded.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #13

Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 18, LUCK 11

A high SKILL score gets me past the giant sandworm (although still not without serious injury) and I made it to Vatos without much trouble. Heading into the tunnels, I made straight for the giant centipede’s room and exacted revenge before pulling the bucket down from the ceiling, which contained a bone dragon artefact. Woohoo!

In the next corridor I found my path blocked by some kind of spiky floating eye, which floated menacingly in my direction. Fumbling in my backpack for something useful, I pulled out an onyx egg at random, which was apparently too dark for the eye to handle, so it went to sleep and allowed me to pass. Clearly I wasn’t thinking about my return journey, or I would have chopped it to bits right then. Further along I came to an iron grille which I decided not to investigate too thoroughly as distant alarm bells rang in my memory.

Arriving at a T-junction (how many times does that happen in Ian Livingstone books?) I chose a direction at random, following the tunnel until I noticed the floor was covered in broken glass. A shadowy figure appeared, giggled madly and threw a bottle at me which fell to the ground and shattered. The bottle had contained a parchment which I declined to read because you know, possible death and all that. Judging from all the broken glass everywhere, I wasn’t the first to receive this message.

Chasing after my assailant, I soon realised the effort was futile and eventually arrived at another T-junction. I was rewarded for my shrewd choice by an encounter with two skeleton warriors, easily reduced to a pile of bones. At the end of the corridor was a door, behind this door was a room, in this room was a clay goblet, and in my backpack the clay goblet went. Heading back to the junction I took the other tunnel and opened a door to a smelly room which happened to be the lair of someone’s ill-trained (or possibly well-trained) pet dog, which attacked me after bounding in after some meat that ‘someone’ threw in as I arrived. Putting the hound down, I peered into the small dark tunnel that led off the room. Shrugging, I got on to my hands and knees and crawled into the blackness. Sensing danger (thanks, sixth sense) I cast a Detect Traps spell to find myself staring right at a crossbow trap, which I managed to avoid triggering and stepped into another room.

As I made my way across the dusty room my mind was suddenly filled with horrific images of the room in flames, my body burning endlessly. Eventually coming to, I realised it was all an illusion, but that did not prevent the loss of 3 SKILL points. Flipping ‘eck. I then encountered some giant fireflies which I was still too skilled to be bothered by, but then walked in front of a stone golem which took exception to my presence and literally took a bit of a hammering. The next room was flooded, and I waded in fully cognizant of the likely outcome, which arrived in the form of giant tentacles. Luckily they were repelled by the crappy bracelet I guilt-purchased from the nomad in the desert, and I was able to escape unstrangled.

Ignoring a side tunnel, I arrived at a dead end with an alcove in which burned a solitary candle. Behind it I found a box with a dragon motif on the lid. Bracing myself for an unwanted sight I opened the box and was delighted to find a silver dragon artefact. Woohoo! Back at the junction, I headed down the side tunnel until I came face to horrifying face with a lantern-carrying phantom. It glared at me a bit, and I became a terrified, snivelling coward, paralysed with fear while the thing made its escape. Luckily it had no interest in eating my flesh or anything.

At the next junction I headed towards some tapestries, admiring one in particular, that of a phoenix rising from the ashes. I tore it from the wall and shoved it into my backpack, which seemed like an oddly disrespectful way to treat such a work of art, but it might have been worth something to a certain desert nomad. Further down the tunnel I came to a chair shaped like a sphinx. Grimacing uncertainly, I took a seat, half expecting spikes to emerge from the wall, but was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be one of those vibrating massage chairs, and I stood refreshed and energised. Further down the corridor I came to a room containing some herbal liquid with which I bathed my remaining wounds, healing me back to maximum health and spurring me on.

With no way to continue in this direction I headed back to the junction. Admiring the murals on the tunnel walls, I nearly jumped out of my skin when a voice behind me asked if I enjoyed his work. Responding that his horrifying work was indeed suitably horrific, I had a conversation for the first time since arriving at Vatos (‘Here doggie doggie argh’ is not a conversation). The artist told me he’d never heard of Malbordus, but perhaps Leesha, the High Priestess, would be entertaining him. Her sanctum could be found behind a golden sho—err, curtain of golden rain. Leaving him behind, I continued until I heard the obvious sounds of torture happening behind a door. Still feeling heroic, I charged in and made short work of the perpetrator, rescuing the victim who was fortunately still in a reasonable condition. He advised me that he’d seen someone matching my description of the Messenger of Death, putting something in a golden casket. I thanked him for the top tip and we parted ways.

Coming to another door which I opened with the golden key I found in the desert, I entered an empty room except for the talking head of a woman mounted on the wall. She asked me a riddle about the prize for the art competition being held by the High Priestess, which I fortunately knew the answer to, courtesy of the talkative muralist I met earlier. Red smoke poured from the head’s mouth, which I didn’t worry about at all and breathed in. Luckily the head was true to its word and the smoke made me feel better, healing 2 of my lost SKILL points.

With a pep in my step I continued down the tunnel to be presented with a choice of two doors. Opening one, I found myself in a storeroom where I was set upon by a horned, red skinned, fire-breathing beast which was not a dragon but some kind of disappointing demon. Dispatching it easily, I searched around, finding only a dodgy-looking necklace which I declined to wear, leaving the room and opening the door opposite. The room within contained another door with some kind of donation box attached to it. Wondering if they were trying to raise funds for a new pet centipede, I rummaged in my pockets for a coin – but alas, I was penniless. Shrugging, I moved on into pitch blackness, wondering if the box was actually some kind of primitive electricity meter. Unable to see, I was injured by some kind of blade trap before panicking and running heedlessly for the exit.

I emerged in a candlelit chamber, occupied by a grotesque one-eyed mutant armed with a silver rod capable of emitting blasts of presumably dangerous white light. Rummaging in my backpack for something more useful than my sword, I was hit painfully by a blast, which proved my presumption correct. Unimpressed by the options in my backpack I pulled out the brass handbell and started ringing it, perhaps hoping to distract the creature with how utterly bonkers I was. Imagine my surprise when the mutant screamed and collapsed on the floor. Imagine my further surprise when the ceiling then began to descend, threatening to crush me along with the contents of the room. Briefly wondering if this was just a trick as it seemed odd to crush the contents of the room, the mutant, candles and all (also, what triggered the ceiling’s descent? – OK, my wondering wasn’t so brief after all), I grabbed the mutant’s silver rod, which equally oddly caused the ceiling to stop moving. Unlocking the door with my handy crystal key, I got out while the getting was good.

The next room contained little but a wooden carving of some giant sandworms attacking a city. Examining it more closely, I found an ebony dragon artefact hidden in one of the cracks. Weird, but woohoo! Opening another door I found myself in a large hallway occupied by three fanatical men in robes who moved to attack. I convinced them that I came bearing gifts for the Great and Ever Wonderful High Priestess Leesha. Handing over the gift (I could choose anything, so I gave them the key to the previous room!) I entered an archway at the other end of the room, into a narrow corridor, protruding from the walls of which were stone arms wielding swords. I wasn’t sure if sword arms were any weirder than sword trees, but they were certainly less dangerous and I swashbuckled my way through without a scratch. At the far end I stepped through the golden curtain of rain as advised by the mural artist earlier.

Beyond was an opulent room adorned with paintings, but I had no time to enjoy them as I was attacked by a bare-chested balding guard with unfeasibly large feet. After defeating them I suddenly felt a bit thirsty and fatigued, bizarrely deciding to drink from a bowl in the room when I could have easily cast Create Water any time I liked, and then settling down for a nice lay down on the cushions. Thankfully given the option to stay awake, I was interrupted by the sound of someone approaching the room, so I hid behind some drapes, which I was then informed were semi-transparent. Luckily the man who entered the room had very poor eyesight, and after checking on the guard’s corpse he simply ran off again.

Approaching the door on the other side of the room, I cast an Open Door spell and was disgruntled when it failed to work – apparently my magic had been drained by the golden rain but that didn’t stop the attempt from draining my STAMINA as usual. I hacked the lock off the door and wrenched it open in annoyance, finding another two doors before me, one engraved with a sun sigil and the other with a moon, both with unreadable runes scrawled underneath. Picking the moon door at random, I entered another room containing three pots. Opening one, I found a monkey’s paw which I left well alone as I assumed some kind of curse. Another pot contained a copper ring which I tentatively slipped on to my finger, expecting something terrible to happen – but nothing did. I left the third pot alone as I felt like I was being a bit too curious for someone trying to avoid seeing any ‘messages’.

Another tunnel, another door, and I found myself entering a treasure chamber. Forewarned about the golden casket, I avoided it and helped myself to a golden statuette instead, which would either make me a rich man or a looter’s dream. Further along I took a turning and came across some grapes on a marble column. Assuming they were intended for someone important not therefore not likely to be dangerous, I scoffed the grapes to discover they had healing properties. This was fortunate, because immediately afterwards I came into contact with two talking skeletons who insisted on poking me full of holes with their spears. I prevailed over them however, and entered the large chamber beyond, which happened to be the inner temple of the High Priestess Leesha.

Leesha was being fanned by yet another bare-chested muscular type, this time with milky white eyes that suggested blindness. He was therefore useless in a fight and dispatched with ease. Leesha grabbed a shiny black object which I assumed would be bad news, so in a flash of completely random inspiration I pulled out a giant sandworm’s tooth from my backpack and waved it at her menacingly. Conveniently this item happened to be her only weakness, so she ran for it. Charging after her, I stopped to investigate an idol of a nice doggie, which contained a golden dragon artefact. Woohoo! I was then further interrupted in my pursuit by a random sunburned dwarf who handed me a war hammer and told me to destroy the dragon artefacts with it in the order I obtained them. Turns out the hammer was the famous weapon put back together by the hero of Forest of Doom and the dwarf was sent by Yaztromo. Wondering why Yaztromo didn’t arrange for me to be armed with the weapon before I started this flipping quest, instead sending a random dwarf on a suicide mission to get it to me (how did he get past all the guards? were they all new employees? So many questions), I chased Leesha into a room with a circular pit in the middle.

Seeing no sign of the High Priestess I decided to empty out my backpack to count my dragon figurines. 1…2…3…4! Gleefully eyeing my collection I was distracted when a clap of thunder sounded, and through the window I saw none other than Malbordus himself departing in true villain fashion, on the back of a dragon’s back. Apparently he had found the fifth dragon and I had failed in my mission. Gah.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 14

Attempt #14

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 15, LUCK 10

Eaten by the giant sandworm.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 3

Attempt #15

Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 19, LUCK 11

This time taking a slightly different route through the tunnels of Vatos, I encountered a gnomish scavenger who had a fetish for brass. He offered to take a brass telescope off my hands in exchange for something from his hoard of goodies. Handing it over, I was delighted to find a crystal dragon artefact amongst his belongings, and grabbed it gleefully. After a brief encounter with a pair of rat men I was back in familiar territory, and knowing that the same path as last time would result in obtaining the rest of the dragons, I stuck to it carefully, with the exception of the room of terrifyingness that cost me several SKILL points last time.

Therefore I was like unto a god when I arrived at the point where my adventure ended last time. Heeding the dwarf’s words and smashing the bone dragon first, I was interrupted in my endeavours when a dishevelled-looking man arose theatrically from the depths of the pit, which looked suspiciously like a latrine. It turned out this was Malbordus himself (Was he waiting in a pit for me to arrive? I thought he was you know, looking for dragon artefacts). He clapped his hands once, causing a deafening thunderbolt to not deafen me because the copper ring I found earlier protected me from it somehow. He then drew his ‘cursed sword’, which was apparently no better than anyone else’s sword, and did not help him in the slightest as I cut him to ribbons. Smashing the rest of the dragon artefacts to pieces, I wondered where that Leesha woman had gotten to. I peered into the pit…

Conclusion: Success!

Number of combats: 15

Review

Writing: Ian Livingstone is back in his element with this one, a large part of the book being set in a comforting, familiar, deadly dungeon-type environment where he can use his imagination to its best effect. The Messenger of Death in particular is a great story device, leaving you in fear of investigating anything too closely throughout the dungeon.

The setting is interesting, a return to fantasy after the departure in Freeway Fighter, but with the desert-themed twist. The story is set up pretty well, with Malbordus built up to seem like a genuinely dangerous magic user who is a real threat to Allansia, and you as the hero in a race against time to find the dragon artefacts before he does. Sadly this never really pays off – at no point does it really feel like Malbordus is nearby trying to find the artefacts and the only sign of his existence before the very end of the book is a ‘trap’ medallion supposedly left by him out in the desert (on the ‘wrong’ path). The final confrontation is a big let down – Malbordus is supposedly a powerful wizard but after one easily-defeated trick the conclusion is a simple sword fight. No spells, no cataclysmic dragon-riding duel in a magical thunderstorm, just a fight in a room that looks like a toilet.

As is often the case with FF, there are many things that don’t make much sense. Why send a single adventurer when the fate of the world is at stake? Why not provide the eagle ride from the beginning? Where did Leesha go and what was the purpose of the character in the first place? Why wasn’t Malbordus hounding me at every step, or making more effort to find the dragon artefacts, most of which I found just lying around? Why was he waiting in a pit for my arrival? Why did I suddenly decide to destroy the dragons when I arrived in the unremarkable room at the end?

Also – stop telling us things we don’t know! “Unknown to you, the golden rain has drained your magic powers” is up there with “Unknown to you, you just drove through a minefield without exploding”…

Writing: 3/5

Artwork: There are some decent illustrations in this one but I found them mostly unmemorable, except the drawing of Malbordus, for all the wrong reasons. Instead of setting up a final confrontation with a depiction of an all-powerful evil wizard on the verge of greatness, we get a skinny unwashed guy emerging from a toilet (no, I can’t let it go!). The cover is very nice, and I have nothing bad to say about it because Christos Achilleos signed my copy of the book!

Artwork: 3/5

Design: This is a pretty tough book to complete because it has a classic shopping list of dragon artefacts, but this is hard to criticise too much because it’s the main premise of the book. The one thing that bugged me slightly was the crystal dragon, which is not only extremely missable (see attempt #13) but can only be obtained if you trade a copper telescope for it, which in turn can only be obtained if a) you pick the correct route to Vatos, thus rendering the other one and all its content pointless) and b) you make a stupid decision which gets you robbed, and then find the telescope on the robbers’ corpses. It’s a shame the desert route is a ‘wrong’ path for this reason, because otherwise it would have been a perfectly viable way to get to Vatos, albeit significantly tougher.

Otherwise this is a pretty well-designed adventure, often with multiple ways to succeed in different situations (the large array of spells and obtainable items helps with this) and a dungeon which feels dangerous at every corner. However it’s a bit linear in places and there are a lot of unavoidable combats which will wear down all but the most skilled adventurers. The final encounter is also disappointing mechanically as well as storywise.

Design: 3/5

Fairness: This book isn’t quite as tough as many later ones in the series, but I’d say a minimum SKILL of 10 is required to stand any real chance here, and probably 11. The giant sandworm is a big ability check, denying you entry to the second half of the book if you’re not up to scratch. The Messenger of Death mechanic, while fun, does make it entirely random when you search anything, whether you find a useful item or one of the deadly letters. This unfairness is justified by the story, however. My biggest annoyance in my early attempts was the fight between the giant eagle I was riding and the pterodactyl attacker. The fight is rigged heavily towards the pterodactyl even if you successfully shoot it with an arrow, and you have no influence whatsoever over the fight itself, which more often than not results in your untimely doom. I was glad when I realised that the desert wasn’t necessarily the correct route (especially considering another couple of nasty encounters there) but this fight seemed unnecessarily harsh. Overall the book is learnable within a few attempts if your stats are up to scratch.

Fairness: 3/5

Cheating index: 1 Razaak (stat dice allocation)

Average enemy stats

Successful path: 26 enemies, SKILL 7.0, STAMINA 7.0

Entire book: 46 enemies, SKILL 7.5, STAMINA 7.5

Instant death paragraphs: 23

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: Yeah, that’s a LIE.

Final thoughts: An enjoyable adventure that doesn’t quite live up to its own story, it’s nevertheless good fun to explore a new kind of setting in Fighting Fantasy. If you’re in a rush, roll D3+9 for your SKILL…

Final score: 6/10

Fighting Fantasy #13 - Freeway Fighter

2020-07-27T18:52:00.000+01:00

Title: Freeway Fighter

Author: Ian Livingstone

Illustrators: Jim Burns (cover), Kevin Bulmer (interior)

Published: 1985

Level of previous knowledge: I remember bits and pieces, particularly the fact that you have to choose the right route at each turn because you need to find every fuel canister along the way. Sadly I don’t remember any of the actual route at all.

Plot summary: A killer virus has wiped out most of mankind, which is divided into peaceful fortified towns and roaming gangs of barbaric savages. A resident in a town called New Hope, I have been called upon to transport food supplies to another settlement in exchange for a tanker of fuel. My journey will be long and perilous, so luckily I have a car with all the optional extras I could ask for, including armour plating and rockets.

Rules: The most notable change is the addition of the car, the Interceptor, which has FIREPOWER and ARMOUR stats. The car is also equipped with a certain amount of weaponry – rockets, iron spikes and oil spray. STAMINA is higher than usual, with 24 points added to the roll rather than the usual 12. Med-Kits replace Provisions but perform the same function. Combat is divided into unarmed, shooting and vehicle combat. For the second book in a row there are no rules for using LUCK in combat.

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 27, LUCK 12, FIREPOWER 7, ARMOUR 30

Driving through the gates of New Hope, I entered a wasteland of ruined buildings, abandoned vehicles and wild animals. I soon arrived at a small town which appeared deserted, and hearing a gunshot in the distance, I decided to get out and explore, because heading towards the sound of a gunshot is definitely the correct course of action. Fortunately the shooter was friendly, and when I told him the truth about where I was from he gave me some useful advice – not to stop at Joe’s garage down the road because they’d rob me. Continuing my drive, my memory was sorely tested when the very next paragraph saw me arrive at Joe’s garage, which I duly ignored and drove on despite the attractive car/girl outside.

Continuing my drive, I was soon confronted by the car on the front cover of the book, complete with turret and unexplained machine gunner. Prevailing at the cost of half my car’s ARMOUR, I left the smoking wreckage of the Chevvy behind. I soon received a call from home, telling me that Sinclair, our council leader, had been kidnapped by a biker gang, and I should look out for them. Shortly after this, my petrol tank had nearly emptied and I was forced to use all my spare fuel to refill. Wondering why a) I had been provided with the most petrol-hungry car in existence and b) I hadn’t been provided with fuel for more than a fraction of my crucial journey to fetch more fuel, I drove on until I was forced off the highway by a tailback of abandoned traffic.

Turning eastwards (and hoping I hadn’t already failed my mission by doing so) I came across an ambulance parked at the roadside. Unable to resist the idea that I might find some medical supplies, I pulled the doors open and caused a blinding explosion which sent me reeling. Realising that the person who set this trap would now be approaching, I hid under the ambulance, a trick which the highwayman saw through immediately due to the gallons of blood I was leaking everywhere. Taking my chances, I came out shooting, putting him down despite my injury. The ambulance was empty (after fixing myself up I had actually found a negative number of Med-Kits) but the highwayman had some money and some knuckledusters which I hoped would be useful.

Turning south once again, I eventually arrived at a wooden bridge, which a sign saying ‘PRIVATE PROPERTY – KEEP OUT!’. Scoffing at the pathetic attempt to intimidate me, I drove my car carefully on to the bridge, and made my way successfully to the bottom of the river after the bridge collapsed in a thunderous explosion. At least I wasn’t intimidated.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #2

Stats rolled: SKILL 7, STAMINA 30, LUCK 11, FIREPOWER 7, ARMOUR 33

Taking the same route (and again losing half my ARMOUR to the Chevvy), I wanted to avoid as much confrontation as possible on account of my low SKILL score so ignored the parked ambulance and continued eastwards. Eventually I came to a roadblock built from upturned vehicles, which I destroyed with one of my rockets (rather than driving around it, which might have required some kind of ability on my part). This spooked the bikers waiting in ambush, and they sped away, firing a warning shot. Letting them go (my FIREPOWER score isn’t too hot either) I drove onwards, taking the next turning towards a place called Rockville.

Before my arrival a stray shot from a bazooka exploded rather close to my car. Going after the hooligans with the intention of giving them a piece of my mind – they’d blow someone up if they weren’t careful – I found myself entering the small settlement, welcomed by withering gunfire from a nearby farmhouse. Taking out the farmhouse with a rocket (I wondered if this option could be applied to every situation?) I heard cries for help, which I discovered belonged to our missing council leader, Sinclair, who was happily located in the general store and not the farmhouse I had just obliterated. Searching the buildings that were still standing gained me some fuel, a pair of wire cutters, a can of meat which I wolfed down (hope it wasn’t dog food) and a crossbow bolt in the shoulder, courtesy of a booby trap.

Moving on, I took a couple of turnings and ran out of fuel, so filled up with the canister I had recently found. Spending the night sleeping in my car off the road (leaving the car unattended seemed unwise), I drove south once more, miraculously passing unaware and without incident through a literal minefield laid by outlaws. I soon came to a dirt road which looked like it had been used recently, so I took the detour and arrived at some kind of gentlemen’s racing club. Accepting the offer to partake in a spiffing contest of driving skill (uh oh) for the grand prize of a canister of fuel, I was quick off the line, holding my advantage until my rather unsporting opponent fired a grenade under my car, which exploded and caused quite a lot of damage. I survived this setback though, and was able to overtake the chap after a bit of ramming removed more of my ARMOUR. The iron spikes I deployed to hinder his progress did not work properly, unfortunately, but the second grenade that came my way did, and sadly finished off my poor battered car, and me with it.

Conclusion: Failure. I seem to be on the right ‘track’ though. Heh heh.

Number of combats: 1

Attempt #3

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 29, LUCK 12, FIREPOWER 9, ARMOUR 31

Same route as last time, however this time I was more willing to engage in confrontation and therefore indulged in combat with both the highwayman and bikers, where some awful dice rolls ended up with me losing nearly all my STAMINA and a SKILL point as well as a good chunk of ARMOUR. Oddly I was told that I installed my spare wheel even though I wasn’t aware anything had happened to it. Rescuing Sinclair from Rockville was straightforward, and I continued along familiar roads until I arrived once again at the race track.

The race began well this time, my opponent’s first grenade failing to detonate and leaving me with a substantial lead. Unfortunately my iron spikes failed me again and my car took the brunt of the second grenade, surviving the impact but just barely. As we approached the finish line we approached a small bridge wide enough for only one car. My nerve held while my opponent’s deserted him, and I was in the lead on the final stretch. He closed on me quickly however, and I was forced to decide whether to block him to the left or the right. Picking the option to move right, I was told that my opponent had decided to try overtaking on the right (rejoice!) but that I had incorrectly gone to the left (huh?) and was overtaken, losing the race at the finish line thanks to a mistake in the book. Great.

Knowing failure was now just around the corner, I stopped at a garage where I paid a man named Pete to supercharge my engine. If I was going lose the car soon, I may as well do it quickly. Not thinking to ask him if he had any spare fuel laying around (it was a flipping garage after all) I sped off down the road, where I promptly ran out of fuel and ended my mission.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 4

Attempt #4

Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 32, LUCK 9, FIREPOWER 10, ARMOUR 33

Basically a repeat of the last attempt, instead losing the race thanks to a failure of nerve at the bridge.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 4

Attempt #5

Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 33, LUCK 12, FIREPOWER 11, ARMOUR 32

This time I tried to get smart with the paramedic highwayman, going along with his orders to come out from under the ambulance with my hands up, then attempting to throw a knife at him. He saw it coming a mile off though, and gunned me down at the roadside. At least there was an ambulance nearby.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 1

Attempt #6

Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 33, LUCK 12, FIREPOWER 11, ARMOUR 32

This time the highwayman was unable to dodge my knife throw and I congratulated myself on an easy win only to discover that I would be bizarrely denied the opportunity to loot his corpse and instead jumped straight back in my car and drove off. Grrrr. After that things progressed as normal until I reached the race track, where I was finally able to win the ultimate prize – a canister of fuel. Getting out of there before things turned ugly I moved on to Pete’s garage where I had him install the supercharger, hoping it would come in more useful this time.

Later on I came across my own car from a previous attempt, overturned by the roadside. Harvesting one of the wheels, I casually reached into the glove compartment and was bitten by an unfriendly rattlesnake, which apparently had fallen in love with a length of plastic tubing. Its romantic efforts were ruined when I shot the dastardly thing in retribution, and took the subject of its affection with me.

After a brief altercation with a pair of astronauts on a motorbike and sidecar which an oil slick dealt with quite effectively, I refilled my fuel tank again, knowing I still had to find more in order to reach my destination. With that in mind I searched an abandoned police car by the roadside, but found the tank empty and a locked trunk which I was unable to budge. Further down the road I was confronted by a couple of members of the local Roman re-enactment society, driving a pickup truck that had been converted into something resembling a chariot. Before I had the chance to point out that double-barrelled machine guns were somewhat rare in ancient Rome they engaged me in combat, where I was sadly forced to destroy their impressive (and hilarious) creation.

Further south I came across a sign pointing east, advertising car engine and body repairs. Shrugging, I headed in that direction and arrived at the garage, where a man tried to extort the princely sum of 200 credits for his services. Unable to afford the price, I continued driving until I arrived at a tunnel entrance blocked by a bus. For some reason not suspecting any kind of trap at all, I wandered casually up to the bus, wondering if it could be moved out of the way. To my surprise (or not) a man leapt out of the bus and tried to extort money from me for the privilege of entering the tunnel – failing that, a duel with pistols would do. Reflecting that I had now at least entered the 19^th century, I reluctantly agreed to the duel, which I won. The man thanked me for shooting him in such an honourable fashion, and warned me about potential landslides up ahead before reversing his bus out of the way and allowing me to continue.

After successfully avoiding the landslides, I came to another roadblock where some men informed me that I would be forced to turn back the way I came unless I could beat a chap called Leonardi in a race. Wondering why everyone was so determined to prevent me travelling along a public road, I reluctantly agreed to the race, winning by a hair thanks to the supercharger I had fitted. Further down the road, half expecting to find a pot of gold in the middle of it, possibly guarded by kimono-wearing, assault-rifle wielding Japanese women on motorised rickshaws, I came across an abandoned truck, from which I was able to siphon some much-needed fuel.

Stopping for a refill and some minor repairs, I headed south through the increasingly unpleasant desert landscape. Eventually I came across a flaming Corvette, and its ex-driver, a woman named Amber who had been attacked by a gang of road warriors, who for unexplained reasons had destroyed her car but left her alone. Apparently she was from San Anglo, my destination, and explained that the town was under constant attack by the gang, called the Doom Dogs, who were determined to massacre everyone living there (except her, obviously). I gave her a lift, and we came up with a plan to break into the gang’s camp and sabotage their vehicles.

Sneaking into the camp with the help of my wire cutters, we attached mines to the Doom Dogs’ cars and ran for it. The explosions started much sooner than expected and we were chased back to the car, barely making it in time before a huge armoured car came into view. Engaging in vehicle combat with the intimidating station wagon, it soon rammed a spike into the side of my car, pinning us in place. Then a voice demanded that we either have a shoot-out or I fight ‘The Animal’ in hand-to-hand combat. Opting for the former, we were remarkably successful and won without more than a slight graze – however the bare-chested Animal then emerged from the car and went into full berserk mode, charging at me and locking me into a bear hug before I could react. How he thought this was a sustainable form of attack I wasn’t certain, but Amber soon knocked him out with a spanner and we tied him up, leaving him for the rest of his gang to find.

Feeling optimistic about the mission, we entered San Anglo and were greeted enthusiastically, given a hero’s welcome and a comfortable bed to spend the night. The next morning I awoke to the sounds of the Doom Dogs attacking the refinery. They managed to blow the doors open with an exploding truck, and then swarmed through the gap, terrorising the citizens. Attempting to rally them to action, I failed to shout loudly enough at them and they surrendered to the Doom Dogs without resistance, putting an end to my hopes of completing my mission.

Conclusion: Failure. I came this far to fail a SKILL check where anything other than a double 6 would have been fine…

Number of combats: 7

Attempt #7

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 30, LUCK 7, FIREPOWER 8, ARMOUR 31

This attempt ended during the Blitz race, after my car, already battered by the encounter with the Red Chevvy early on, failed to survive being rammed repeatedly by the yellow Ford.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 3

Attempt #8

Stats rolled: SKILL 8, STAMINA 30, LUCK 11, FIREPOWER 7, ARMOUR 29

Lost the Blitz race again after chickening out at the bridge.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 4

Attempt #9

Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 29, LUCK 7, FIREPOWER 8, ARMOUR 33

A poor LUCK score led to a couple of new experiences this time – one was being shot with a bazooka outside Rockville and the other was meeting an outlaw straight out of a spaghetti western and stealing his Magnum. However, the mission ended much as usual, in another fiery Blitz race explosion.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 4

Attempt #10

Stats rolled: SKILL 11, STAMINA 28, LUCK 7, FIREPOWER 12, ARMOUR 33

A combination of poor LUCK and terrible dice rolling meant my car failed to survive the Blitz race yet again.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 5

Attempt #11

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 34, LUCK 10, FIREPOWER 11, ARMOUR 34

My decent stats weren’t enough to get me through as the Animal’s station wagon out-manoeuvred me and its pointed ram bar penetrated my car door, killing me instantly.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 7

Attempt #12

Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 27, LUCK 10, FIREPOWER 11, ARMOUR 31

This time my stats were rolled by allocating 7 dice however I liked.

Managing to reach San Anglo once more, I was this time able to rally the defenders and avoided the defeat by meek surrender which occurred on a previous attempt. Capturing one of the Doom Dogs I held him at gunpoint and was able to persuade them all to leave nicely. Hurrah!

After repairs to the gates were carried out I jumped into the fuel tanker and began the long journey home. Given the choice of spending the night in the fuel tanker or a dodgy-looking motel, I opted for the vehicle again as leaving such a large amount of a precious resource unguarded in a car park seemed like a poor idea. The next day saw me attacked by a pair of would-be hijackers on motorbikes. One of them soon paid dearly for the attempt when, in a masterclass of multitasking, I used the roof-mounted machine gun to destroy his bike while continuing to drive the fuel tanker in a straight line. He did, however succeed at bursting one of my tyres, causing the tanker to veer wildly and come to a stop with me stuck in the cabin. The other biker called me out for a duel, which seemed like the best option at that point. Fortunately I was still quick off the mark and successfully dropped my opponent.

Continuing the journey, I encountered very little resistance on the way back to New Hope, where I soon arrived with the fuel tanker intact. I was hailed as a hero and offered the hand of Sinclair’s daughter in marriage. Or I just imagined the last bit.

Conclusion: Success!

Number of combats: 8

Review

Writing: A post-apocalyptic setting is new to the Fighting Fantasy series and while there’s nothing particularly deep here, it sets the scene quite well, with a specific mission that makes sense given the times being lived in. Pretty much everyone you encounter during the book is motivated by greed – in a society where resources are scarce it makes sense for people to be out to get whatever they can, whatever the cost. The characterisations don’t go much further than that and are pretty thin, even when you meet the brief sidekick Amber and the barbaric Doom Dog leader, The Animal, which are quite one-dimensional characters, but then we shouldn’t expect too much from a Fighting Fantasy gamebook. Overall it’s pretty fun and engaging in parts – the Blitz race for instance – while a bit dull in others (oh look another abandoned car to investigate). A shameless Mad Max rip-off that doesn’t pretend to be anything else.

Writing: 3/5

Artwork: Some of the art is extremely simplistic in places and while not terrible, doesn’t really depict the post-apocalyptic world in any kind of memorable way. The cover isn’t bad but has a slightly odd flat quality to it which doesn’t quite hit the mark for me.

Artwork: 2/5

Design: In true Ian Livingstone style, we have a mappable multi-route layout, throughout which are scattered the items necessary to succeed in the mission. The main problem is finding three canisters of fuel during the book. The first requires the correct choice of road heading south after coming off the highway near the beginning of the book – there are about six options here and only two of them can result in finding it (and then not necessarily). The second requires you to win the Blitz race, which is fairly hard unless you have extremely good car stats and haven’t already suffered too much in previous combats. The third, annoyingly, requires not only that you take the correct road (out of two options), but that you also make a choice that loses you a SKILL point, in order to find an item which will help you obtain fuel later on.

I’m not sure how I feel about the fuel mechanic, notwithstanding the fact that it makes little sense to even start driving without nearly enough fuel to reach the destination. On the one hand we wouldn’t want the book to be too easy, but on the other, considering that the first fuel canister can only be found by taking one of two of the six available routes, it seems a shame to restrict the content of the book in such a way that some of the encounters are only found along ‘wrong’ paths which result in defeat shortly after. This isn’t uncommon in Fighting Fantasy however, and doesn’t seem as severe as it is in some other books. It doesn’t quite suffer from ‘one true path’ syndrome, but it’s pretty close.

Apart from the fuel situation the book is quite easy to complete if you have decent stats – but you do need to have good SKILL, LUCK and FIREPOWER to have a good chance of getting through, and perhaps ARMOUR too. There are quite a lot of SKILL and LUCK tests, the latter being a bit problematic especially when you’d rather not waste LUCK testing to see if you lose 2 ARMOUR or gain 4 STAMINA and would rather save it for life-or-death situations, however there are ways to regain LUCK as well which are welcome.

I would have liked to see a bit more excitement on the journey back home – the single encounter wasn’t bad but the rest of the journey is waved off as a series of incompetent ambushes and blockades which the reader doesn’t need to know about. It seems like a missed opportunity to not have a desperate race for New Hope with enemies all around, especially when the book was 20 sections short of the usual length.

Design: 3/5

Fairness: Other than turning down the wrong road and missing out on fuel there are very few situations where random choice leads directly to defeat and instant death paragraphs are usually the result of failing a test of some sort, or making poor choices. The difficulty depends mostly on your stats, and finding the fuel canisters. The fact that one of them requires you to unavoidably lose a SKILL point to find an item which helps you get it later is a bit unfair and might cause you to ignore the item on a future playthrough until you discover what it’s for.

Fairness: 3/5

Cheating index: 1 Razaak

Average enemy stats

Successful path: 9 enemies, SKILL/FIREPOWER 8.1, STAMINA/ARMOUR 13.6

Entire book: 39 enemies, SKILL/FIREPOWER 7.9, STAMINA/ARMOUR 12.6

Instant death paragraphs: 24

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: Although there are no unavoidable combats against exceptionally difficult opponents I doubt anyone would survive this adventure with minimum stats simply because there are so many tests which can result in failure or crippling loss of the car’s ARMOUR. Therefore if the book had made this claim (it didn’t) then it would be a LIE.

Final thoughts: Freeway Fighter is a fairly enjoyable post-apocalyptic romp, and if you persevere with it, just about engaging enough to get you through to the end.

Final score: 6/10

Fighting Fantasy #12 - Space Assassin

2020-07-11T17:42:00.000+01:00

Title: Space Assassin

Author: Andrew Chapman

Illustrators: Christos Achilleos (cover), Geoffrey Senior (interior)

Published: 1985

Level of previous knowledge: Ummm. Errr. Hmmm. I have to assassinate some space? Yeah, very little. For some reason I remember this book has possibly the shortest ever ending paragraph in a gamebook, not that I know if I got there honestly or not.

Plot summary: A mad scientist named Cyrus is plotting to use our planet as a giant petri dish, threatening to spawn hideous mutants and rain viruses down upon us all. I have been contracted to seek out this lunatic on his spaceship and dispose of him by whatever means possible. Armed to the teeth and protected by cutting edge armour, I smuggle myself aboard the Vandervecken and begin my mission…

Rules: This book introduces the ARMOUR statistic which helps determine whether an opponent’s shot penetrates your armour and does damage in gunfire combat, which is a new combat type also described. There are no rules for using LUCK in combat. Weapons are bought with a D6 roll of currency at the beginning of the book and can do various amounts of damage, as well as thrown weapons such as grenades. Spare currency (ha!) could be spent on extra ARMOUR points. Provisions are replaced by Pep Pills which are sadly quite limited in number (apparently they blew the budget on the armour).

Oddly the rules mention nothing about SKILL, LUCK or ARMOUR exceeding the Initial score, but I’m going to play as if the usual rules are in place. Rather than just popping all my pep pills at the start...

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 20, LUCK 12, ARMOUR 8

Equipment: D6 roll: 6 – Assault Blaster, Electric Lash, +4 ARMOUR (now 12)

Entering the ship via an airlock I found myself in a small corridor with the body of some kind of alien critter. Poking it carefully, I discovered it was in possession of a weird, incomplete device attached to its body, with a button under its finger. Disconnecting it from the deceased creature, I stowed it in my pack in the hope that I might find the other parts later on (in the absence of any idea of what it could be, I scribbled ‘weird device’ on my Adventure Sheet).

Picking a maintenance hatch, I headed down a cramped tunnel, soon arriving at a door behind which I could hear a gurgling sound. Intrigued, I entered the room to find a robot guarding two cells, one of which was the source of the sound. Rather than mess about I took out the robot with my assault blaster, and was offered the robot’s identical weapon for free at the end of the brief combat. I could have spent those three points on something more fun, like a gravity bomb – damn it! Giving up my attempts to graft a second assault blaster to my suit I turned my attention to the cells. One of them contained nothing, but while I was looking a ‘screaming little ball of fur and legs’ leapt on to me from above, taking a hefty bite out of my armour before running off and glaring at me from a distance. Muttering, I checked the other cell to find an old man, battered and covered in bandages and scars. No explanation for these was forthcoming, but he did give me some rather random advice that if I should ever meet the pilot of the ship, I should pretend not to know anything about thinking or feeling. Hmmm.

The next hatch along the corridor took me into a laboratory of some sort, occupied by a pair of rodent-like creatures who, despite their alien appearance (I assumed I didn’t look like one of them, at least) spoke my language perfectly. Maybe this was because they were extremely intelligent scientists, as evidenced by the white lab coats. I threatened them into submission, and made them strip before tying them up (the imagery here is fascinating and quite honestly disturbing). Taking their key-like devices, I continued through a security door into another corridor, where I soon came to a lavish but oddly-furnished kitchen-diner, discovering a couple of energy bars which I took with me, ignoring the undescribed unpalatable food options.

The next room I entered contained another security robot, which again I chose to blast into smithereens rather than hang around and chat. Investigating the room I discovered a safe embedded in the floor with three coloured buttons. Pressing one at random, I caused a soundless explosion which blew me and the smithereens next to me, to smithereens. Huh.

Conclusion: Failure. So it’s that kind of book.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #2

Stats rolled: SKILL 8, STAMINA 21, LUCK 9, ARMOUR 9

Equipment: D6 roll: 5 – Electric Lash, Gravity Bomb, +2 ARMOUR (now 11)

Taking the same route as last time, I took out the guard robot guarding the cells with my basic starting weapon and helped myself to the free upgrade. Continuing along the familiar path and destroying the second robot, I was again faced with the decision as to which coloured button to press. The first button caused the dial to light up, which I took as a good sign. The second button caused a huge explosion, which I didn’t.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #3

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 24, LUCK 7, ARMOUR 12

Equipment: D6 roll: 5 - Electric Lash, Gravity Bomb, +2 ARMOUR (now 14)

Retracing my steps again, I pressed the correct sequence of buttons to find something extremely important to my quest… another gravity bomb. I should have expected that, given the fate of the previous two assassins. Stepping through a door, I found myself in a laboratory of some sort, where I was attacked by a small laser-firing globe. Dispatching it with a single, unnecessarily devastating shot, I searched the room to find a dead crab, some tablets and a can of nerve gas. I was sure there must have been a funny story behind this collection of items, but I was damned if I could come up with it. Junkie that I was, I took one of the tablets (don’t try this at home, kids) and was pleased that it was a health restoring pill. Grabbing another two, I went back to the previous room and moved on.

The next room was a library of some sort, where, given a choice of interesting reads, I opted for the one most unlikely to be of any use, because it was probably the one most likely to be of use. Soon an expert in the nervous systems of molluscs, I continued on to a room containing a glass cage of insane squirrels. Offered a closer look, I didn’t realise that meant opening the cage and reaching inside, resulting in a mass escape effort, at which all but one of them were successful. Grabbing the creature, I fed it some fruit from a nearby crate, and it decided that I wasn’t so bad after all and sat happily on my shoulder. Wondering about the pros and cons of a purring squirrel on the shoulder of an intergalactic space assassin, I pocketed some more fruit and headed back to the corridor.

At the end of the passage, two nondescript buttons were positioned on the wall. Pressing both at once, I was alarmed when the floor gave way beneath me and I slid for several minutes down a chute of some kind, before being ejected above a doughnut-shaped planet. Absorbing the breathtaking views and apparently not concerned at all about my imminent death from plummeting to the surface, I suddenly came to a gentle stop just above the ground and landed gracefully in the middle of a grassy plain. Utterly baffled at this point, I wandered wonderingly in a random direction, unsure as to how I was supposed to get back to the ship. Soon finding myself in a forest, I was greeted by a large unfriendly shrub which grabbed me with its vines and ate me alive. Hmmm.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 4

Attempt #4

Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 19, LUCK 10, ARMOUR 9

Equipment: D6 roll: 2 – Electric Lash, +2 ARMOUR (now 11)

After getting my free assault blaster, I took a slightly different route and ignored the hatch leading into the room with the furry scientists. Instead I entered a much more fun-looking room, the door to which was adorned with a sign. I didn’t read it properly but it said something about danger and authority, nothing to worry about. Inside was a long narrow room and along its walls were long, red fluorescent tubes. Walking to the other end, I opened a box containing two levers, which I couldn’t resist pulling. The first caused the lights to pulse unnervingly and a menacing hum filled the air. Undeterred, I pulled the other one and… oops! I started a countdown to the destruction of the entire ship. Silly me!

Running for my life, I hurtled down the corridors until I was lucky enough to come across an escape pod. Strapping myself in, I launched clear of the ship just in time. I was congratulating myself on an easy victory when I realised that the exploding ship would deposit its deadly viruses all over the planet, and I had only hastened the fate of my people. Doh.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 1

Attempt #5

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 16, LUCK 9, ARMOUR 7

Equipment: D6 roll: 4 – Electric Lash, +6 ARMOUR (now 13)

Electing not to blow up the ship this time, I wandered down a wider tunnel and entered a hatch at the end, to find a man in white overalls laying in his bunk and looking rather upset. Deciding to befriend him, I learned that the man was a technician who hated Cyrus because he was demanding that he shut down the command robot, which had developed a personality of its own and a belief that Cyrus was dangerously insane. The technician refused to do this because it would be tantamount to murder. Not wanting to get into an ethical debate I eventually managed to extract myself from the conversation with a security key that would help me open some of the doors on the ship.

In the next room I attempted to strike up conversation with some repair robots, but as it turned out they were in need of repair themselves and unable to respond. Feeling a bit silly, I rooted around and found a talking robot head, which at least talked (although didn’t appear to listen at all), so I added it to my inventory. Moving on, I opened another hatch and ducked as a nasty-looking disk flew directly at my head, then turned around and came at me again. Shooting it out of the air I had a look around and found some armour that looked particularly effective, however as my own ARMOUR score was so high at this point I decided against taking it.

Entering the next room I was confronted by eight pillboxes which all opened fire on me. Assuming I had to fight them all at once, and really wishing I’d brought a grenade with me, I managed to defeat them all, but at the expense of the vast majority of my armour. Dearly wishing I could go back to the previous room for the super armour now that my own was in tatters, I was railroaded reluctantly onwards.

There were two doors in front of me, and one of them had levers, and levers are fun, so I pulled at them randomly to see what would happen. I should have guessed really, I mused as the floor slid away and I found myself plummeting towards a gentle landing on a familiar yet alien planet.

Heading relentlessly in the opposite direction to the hungry plants that ate one of my previous selves, I eventually found myself at a chasm, into which I descended via the extremely perilous stairs cut out of the rock. Then I wandered along the base of the chasm until I came to a lake and, left with no alternative (except you know, doing something sensible), I swam out into it. Unsurprised when something grabbed my leg, I ended up in hand-to-hand combat with a gigantic octopoid, wishing that I was as well-read as the afore-mentioned previous self. Barely surviving the encounter I swam down to find a submarine, which I popped into for a look around. Luckily the submarine required a very basic level of seamanship to master – that of pressing a single button to set it going. Destination unclear, I settled down for a quick nap.

Eventually, and bafflingly, the submarine emerged into a room which appeared to be inside the Vandervecken. Opening the only door, I found myself on a path floating above distant countryside below, which I was informed was also inside the Vandervecken. Starting to giggle hysterically I edged carefully along a path for quite some distance, taking a turning and eventually arriving at a floating aluminium cube with a door in its side. Entering, I found myself in some kind of cryogenic stasis centre containing two sleeping occupants. Reviving one of them, I was first subjected to small talk and then physical violence when the apparent human turned into some kind of bat mutant and attacked me. The other occupant was a horrific spider-like creature but, having just learned not to judge on appearances, I attempted to communicate it by waving my arms around and making clicking noises. Happily it wasn’t as offended by this as it should have been and we ended up having a nice conversation. It gave me a sachet of ‘Anti-mollusc formula four’ which I assumed would be highly useful for some reason, and I left him to it.

Back on the weird path I took another turning and arrived at a gigantic wall which appeared to extend for miles below. Opening the handy door I stepped into some kind of security check point where I was confronted by two guards. Finding nothing of use in my pack I did the most reasonable thing and opened fire on them, fortunately discovering that they were awful shots. As an alarm went off I nipped through a security door and found myself in a room containing nothing but a pool of water, with a bridge across and a path around it. Opting for the path, I made it halfway around before a pair of disgusting tentacled mutants emerged from the pool and oozed threateningly at me. Armed for the situation, I pulled out the sachet of anti-mollusc formula four and sprinkled it on them, causing a catastrophic reaction (for them) and no small amount of squealing. As they retreated into the water I ran for the exit.

The next room contained a rather intimidating alien clad in thick metal armour, who was mostly intimidating due to the fact that it was pointing a disintegrator at me. Luckily he was a puzzly guard instead of a fighty one, and his question was easy enough to answer. Choosing a door, I entered a room containing a host of floating black spheres. That looked a bit scary, so I backed away and chose a different door, which led to a choice of passageways, one of which had a clear WARNING sign next to it. Never one to ignore a warning (ha!) I took the other path, I ignored a dodgy-looking lever and climbed up into a small room with two maintenance hatches, labelled ‘Accelerator 4B’ and ‘Transtube 113-24’. Not liking the sound of either of them much, I picked the latter, and wandered down a tunnel before suddenly being run over by whatever a high speed intra-vessel transit shuttle is.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 6

Attempt #6

Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 19, LUCK 7, ARMOUR 18

Equipment: D6 roll: 5 – Electric Lash, Grenade, +6 ARMOUR (now 18)

Going back to a previous strategy, I followed the route which took me through the laboratory and o

btained a gravity bomb and a free squirrel. Arriving at the dead end with the buttons, I mashed them in a different order this time and a corridor opened up in front of me, revealing the strangest bunch of cleaners I had ever seen – two fat bipedal cat-midgets and a man whose facial features seemed to consist entirely of vegetables. They were also the least friendly cleaners I had ever met, and I was forced to batter them into submission (to be fair they did their share of battering) before moving on.

Opening a hatch, I scrambled through a dark and cramped maintenance tunnel until I emerged into a room containing a small hurt alien who whimpered something about nasty black blobs causing his injury but refused to elaborate. Shrugging, I continued down through another hatch and found myself on a familiar nonsensical mid-air path, which I followed, much as I did before. A different turn took me to a laboratory where a tentacle-armed man was strapped down, having apparently been the victim of grisly experiments. I told him I was here to kill Cyrus, and he whispered something about ‘always the middle’ before passing out.

Back in familiar territory I reached the security checkpoint where my can of nerve gas worked wonders on the guards, and carried on until I met the riddling alien with the disintegrator. Answering his question again, I opened the middle door, and was met once again with a room full of floating black spheres. At this point I was conflicted – I had been told ‘always the middle’ but also warned that the black ‘blobs’ were extremely dangerous. Then I noticed that one of the options was to walk down the ‘middle’ of the room, and went for it. The spheres floated out of my way and I made it through the door at the other end, relieved to have all my appendages intact.

The door opened into a large hallway, flanked by strange metal representations of bizarre creatures on pedestals. As I drew level with the first, they posed another riddle. Duly getting it entirely wrong, I was forced to fight six of the creatures, who were apparently offended at my level of stupidity. Surviving the combat by virtue of a high ARMOUR score (a thing of the past by the end, however), I approached the final two creatures, next to two doors. A poor variant of the ‘two guards’ puzzle followed, to which either door could have been the correct answer, but luckily I chose correctly, or at least I think I did. A pair of robotic sentinels awaited me in the next room, armed with laser blasters. Spurning the opportunity to do something stupid like vaulting on to the ceiling girders, I simply blasted them to pieces, taking quite a bit of damage in the process.

I soon found myself on the ship’s bridge, where a human-like robot pilot stood, linked to the computer by some kind of umbilical cord. The robot asked me some deep philosophical questions, but forearmed with the advice that I should not engage in such a debate with the pilot, I bored it into letting me pass. A shame, because I was curious about where the conversation might end up.

Again taking the middle door, I was surprised to find an equally surprised Cyrus relaxing in an armchair. Ignoring his offer of a drink, and scoffing when he pointed a clockwork device at me and claimed it fired armour-piercing bullets, I lunged straight for him. He scurried away, opening a suitably-villainous secret passage and diving through. Following close behind, I was shocked to find that in a few seconds he had managed to climb into a giant suit of robotic armour, with which I was forced to engage in combat. Prevailing only due to the fact that there is nothing in the rules to prevent the use of Pep pills in combat, I dragged the unconscious scientist out of the machine and tied him up.

Conclusion: Success! That last sentence contained more words than paragraph 400…

Number of combats: 7

Review

Writing: I found the writing in this book extremely variable. In places there are some amusing descriptions, for instance ‘extremely fat bipedal felines with backpacks’, but others, such as ‘fierce little easter eggs with bushes of hair’ and ‘screaming little ball of fur and legs’ don’t really help much (luckily they are accompanied by drawings – I wonder what the artist had to go on?). The story is decent and set up reasonably well, but does not develop at all as the book goes on. The book involves a series of bizarre encounters and situations with no sense of progress until you stumble across the villain. The final encounter seems like a missed opportunity (Cyrus is a potentially interesting villain, based on the strange encounters on the ship) and felt really anti-climactic, especially the final paragraph.

Writing: 2/5

Artwork: Alternately excellent and plain boring. The sterile nature of some of the drawings does suit the book better than a fantasy-based one, but that doesn’t make them particularly appealing. Others are very detailed and do a good job of giving life to some of the bizarrely-described creatures on the Vandervecken. The front cover is also very good.

Artwork: 3/5

Design: The book plays like a series of isolated encounters with very little to tie them together. There are a lot of random decisions (which button to press, which door to open) and in the vast majority of cases zero clues as to which would allow you to progress and which would lead to instant death. The book suffers even more from the affliction that affected House of Hell in that you stand a much better chance of success if you avoid all the interesting stuff. After 6 attempts I realised I still hadn’t actually turned to the paragraph containing a complex-looking puzzle, nor had I found my way to what appeared to be some kind of tank battle simulation. Presumably these encounters just provided more ways to die, rather than being important to the plot or helping the player to win, because I was successful regardless. The route to victory did not require any items or clever decision making – you just need to be lucky enough to have decent stats and make the right uninformed choices.

There is also some vagueness with the rules. It appears that LUCK is not usable in combat in this book as may have been expected (at least in hand-to-hand combat). In fact LUCK is hardly used in the book at all. The worst thing was that the text was rarely explicit as to whether a combat was hand-to-hand or ranged and left you looking for words such as ‘firing’ or ‘blaster’ to work it out – and in a couple of cases you don’t even get that.

The ranged combat system is at least a bit different but as there are virtually no ways to repair your ARMOUR, it quickly becomes useless, especially after a fight with 8 Portabots, for instance.

Design: 1/5

Fairness: The book is riddled with instant death paragraphs, most of which, although entertaining, seem to occur through no real fault of the player. Other than that, the book is rather easy once you know the correct path.

Fairness: 2/5

Cheating index: 0 Razaaks

Average enemy stats

Successful path: 15 enemies, SKILL 7.5, STAMINA 4.8

Entire book: 45 enemies, SKILL 6.7, STAMINA 5.2

Instant death paragraphs: 24

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: This book doesn’t actually make this claim, but if it did, it would be a close thing. With a SKILL of 7 you might just be able to do it with a decent ARMOUR score and if you find some STAMINA-restoring items (and use them in combat, which the rules do not forbid). With minimum rolls for everything it seems unlikely, but you never know – this might be TRUE. Anyone fancy a minimum stats challenge?

Final thoughts: Some good ideas are in this book, but the execution is so poor that it ruins the experience. The writing is all over the place and there’s no excuse for the brief paragraph 400. There are some entertaining moments, however, so it’s not completely terrible. Just mostly.

Final score: 3/10

Fighting Fantasy #11 - Talisman of Death

2020-07-03T19:25:00.000+01:00

Title: Talisman of Death

Author: Mark Smith and Jamie Thomson

Illustrators: Peter Andrew Jones (cover), Bob Harvey (interior)

Published: 1984

Level of previous knowledge: I remember almost nothing about this adventure, which is quite exciting. I distinctly remember the names Tyutchev and Cassandra for some reason, and that I probably shouldn’t mess with them. Otherwise I’m pretty blind going into this one, although I’m sure things will come back to me along the way.

Plot summary: Having awoken from sleep to find myself in some kind of elaborate hallucination, I learn from a talking bird that I have been chosen as the Champion of Fate. Apparently someone needs to do the thing and save the world, but it’s not entirely clear what the thing is. As they send me to the surface of this alien world with no information whatsoever to help me survive, they helpfully advise me not to die. Yay?

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 11, STAMINA 20, LUCK 9

Potion: LUCK

My adventure began in a huge vaulted chamber, with some roaring in the distance and footsteps rapidly approaching. I drew my sword and waited until the most obviously goodly-aligned party of adventurers I’d ever seen burst in, and demanded to know my story. Believing that my story was too ridiculous to tell (and still wondering what I’d taken for hallucination to go on so long) I told them I was on a quest against evil, figuring I probably was, even if I didn’t know it yet, and it seemed like the sort of thing that would appeal to them. The wizard of the party cast a spell which revealed that I was lying, and I was forced to admit that I was a drug-addled idiot from Earth who didn’t have a clue what he was doing here. The wizard’s spell confirmed my story (including the idiot bit, apparently) and they immediately let their guard down. Unsure why they suddenly trusted me, I listened to the shieldmaiden as she told me a long-winded story while the roaring noise came over so slowly closer (I was unsure how they had the time for this given the speed at which they entered), the upshot of which was that I was to take this talisman thing and return to my world with it, which would save this one. Pleased that my quest was pretty much over already – I could only assume that those who brought me to this world in the first place were watching closely and could now just send me back… no? – I was about to ask a load of questions when some generic D&D monsters charged in and killed the whole party, but not before the wizard’s teleport spell transported me to the surface. A Dimension Door would have been nice, but I guess he was too low level.

Heading into a nearby forest rather than heading across open ground where I would be highly visible, I soon stumbled into a clearing where a large she-wolf was looking after her cubs. Offering her some alien meat (alien to her, anyway) I convinced her I was friendly, and an old druid emerged nearby to reward me by replacing the food with a golden apple. Being more of a meat kind of guy I wasn’t too impressed, but I didn’t want to offend and I had the feeling he was probably a vegetarian (if he was a vegan, he would have told me so). Rather than ask any questions, directions, or anything else that would be useful, I simply left him to it.

Slipping past a sleeping basilisk (I wasn’t actually aware it was a basilisk until after I’d risked my life trying to creep past it) I approached a serene-looking pond. There was something about it which I couldn’t quite put my finger on, until I heard a cry and realised that what I believed was a perfectly ordinary severed head floating on the surface in fact belonged to an old woman, who begged for help to escape the weeds. How on earth she ended up in such a comical situation was unclear and slightly suspicious, but confident in my abilities to deal with the situation I waded in to help, and was rewarded when she transformed into a beaked/tentacled monster and tried to eat me, before I dealt with the situation.

Continuing my journey, I was soon surrounded by a group of mounted horsewomen, who demanded to know my story. Inwardly grumbling that everyone in this world seemed to be a nosy parker, I told them the truth just in case one of them had access to the same spell as the wizard earlier. They told me to give up my sword and go with them, and doubting my ability to take on all twenty of them, I agreed heartily. They escorted me to the city I was looking for, but insisted on taking me to see their boss, Hawkana, who proved to be a rather unpleasant High Priestess. She had me stripped of the Talisman and kicked out on to the street. I’d lost the most important item in the world and my weapon – not the most auspicious start to my quest.

Given no option to go back inside and give her a darn good talking to, or follow her as she departed for the temple she said she was heading for, or knocking politely and asking if they wouldn’t mind awfully returning my weapon so I could lay waste to the whole lot of them, I chose a street to walk down disconsolately. As hoped I soon came to a blacksmith who sold me a sword for the princely sum of seven gold pieces (actually I had no idea if this was a bargain or not, this being the first purchase I’d ever made in this world). Further down the street I came face to face with a local hoodie, who had distinct characteristics such as no physical body and a pair of glowing coals where his eyes should have been. Demanding the Talisman, he refused to believe my protests that another thief had already gotten to it first, and attacked me, draining a SKILL point. Rather irritated by this point, I hacked the thing to bits of nothingness and moved on.

Further down the street I overheard some thugs plotting to rob the jewellery store. Reflecting that this city contained more thieves than Port Blacksand, I decided to do my bit and went to the jeweller’s to await them, and if possible, see them off in front of the rich owner with access to all the jewels. This actually worked out rather well, and I left with a bulging purse once more along with a shiny ruby. Expecting to be re-robbed at any moment, I headed for the safety of the public library, where I perused a book telling me about the recent history of the city, most helpfully informing me that the goddess that Hawkana and the warrior women worship was of the evil variety. Great.

Looking for an inn to stay the night, I wandered straight into a man-trap which snapped shut around my leg. Shadowy figures emerged from the, er, shadows and informed me that they were the priesthood of Death, before attempting to rob me of the Talisman which I still didn’t have. Stifling my annoyance that this city was determined to deprive me of my belongings, even the ones I didn’t have, I was roughed up a bit before the city watch arrived on horseback and saw them off. Sniggering at my predicament, they left me to rot. Swearing revenge on everyone in this foul city (except maybe the jeweller) I was unable to free myself until a descriptionless man approached and released me, before offering me a room for the night. Despite my lack of trust in anyone in the city at this point I was exhausted and accepted the offer, sleeping deeply before waking to find the man watching me closely. Being half awake I babbled my entire story to him, and was relieved when he actually turned out to be helpful, giving me a ring to increase my weapon skill, some gold and a jade rose with which I should prove that I was ‘not a shapechanger’ when I returned. While I considered that any potential shapechangers would probably rob me for the rose anyway, he also advised me to visit the Thieves’ Guild and raze it to the ground, er, look for help with regaining the Talisman of Death there.

On my way to the Red Dragon Inn where I hoped to find members of the Thieves’ Guild, I was nearly bowled over by a pair of fighting students. A brass tiger charm dropped to the ground, and enjoying the chance at some revenge on this thieving city, I grabbed it and wore it around my neck with pride. Arriving at the inn, I cut the barman down to size with a scathing insult before realising that the tiger charm was cursed and had caused me to take leave of my senses. The ensuing fight fortunately didn’t last long, and the suddenly-respectful barman told me a story about a scary bloke named Tyutchev and how I might be a match for him, before giving me directions to the hidden entrance to the Thieves’ Guild. Then, who should enter but Tyutchev himself, accompanied by Cassandra, who plonked herself down on the seat across the table from me before Tyutchev joined her. Standing to leave, I was curtly instructed to stay put by the man, who asked what I was doing at the Red Dragon. Mumbling something vague about looking for thieves, he quickly lost interest in me and I made my way outside before anything kicked off.

On my way back to the sage’s house I was approached by a small boy who offered me the chance to help out a ‘very clever scholar’ and make some money. Following him, I arrived at a greenhouse where I met two scholars. Wondering which was the clever one, I accepted their offer to fight their weird monster creation in exchange for twenty gold pieces. I defeated it handily, much to the disappointment of the men, who clearly expected it to put up more of a fight, and claimed that they attempted to stop the fight but their ‘spell’ didn’t work. Shrugging, I asked for my twenty gold pieces, and wasn’t surprised when they turned out empty pockets. They did offer me a ‘Scroll of Agonizing Doom’ though, which sounded entertaining if not necessarily valuable.

Arriving at the sage’s house I spent the evening chatting with him and his friend who was apparently some kind of interplanar travel agent. He gave me directions to where I could find a portal back to Earth, typically on top of a mountain a long distance away – I suppose it was too much to hope that it would be in his spare room. Then they taught me a chant which would entreat the All-Mother’s aid should I ever find myself in dire straits.

On my way the Thieves’ Guild I stopped to watch a terrible magician in the street, during which I was randomly handed a card inviting me to take sherry with a man named Mortphillio. Not suspicious at all! Going along with it for now, I was guided into an odd house where a predictably decrepit-looking old man had me attacked first by a talking winged skull and then a horde of skeletons. Escaping the latter, I ran straight into a congregation in the Temple of Death. Oopsy. Grabbing a black robe (why don’t death cults ever wear bright colours?) I melted into the congregation, and was soon handed a chalice of human blood by the vampire next to me, and expected to drink. Unable to think of a reasonable excuse, I did so and suffered greatly for it as my stomach twisted in agony. Eventually the ceremony ended and I left hurriedly to find a bathroom somewhere.

Eventually finding my way to the coal-hole I believed to be the entrance to the Thieves’ Guild, I crawled through a filthy passageway before emerging in a lavishly-furnished room where some men awaited me. Waiting for them to speak first in case I’d unwittingly entered the hideout of another twisted cult, I was soon introduced to Vagrant, the guild leader. Intimidated by the man’s moustache, I blurted out my mission to him, and he suspiciously agreed to help out with no discussion about price whatsoever. This was not going to end well…

Taking a rooftop route to the temple of Fell-Kyrinla, one of the thieves open a window and disarmed a trap, allowing us to get inside unnoticed. I silenced a serving man with the pommel of my sword and interrupted one of the thieves’ attempt to finish him off with his knife, an action which unfortunately involved knocking said weapon down a flight of steps where it made enough noise to wake the dead. You’d think thieves would put some padding on their knives, just in case. The alarm soon sounded, and the thieves disappeared into the shadows, leaving me wishing I hadn’t taken so many fighter class levels. Running headlong down some steps, I dived behind an arras as a gang of guards ran past. Not knowing what an arras was, I had no idea if it could hide me or not, so I was relieved when no-one spotted me. Opening the next set of doors, I found myself in the holy sanctum of the temple, where a slightly annoyed-looking Hawkana awaited, dressed for battle. She began by setting me on fire, which I felt was most unsporting, so I whipped out the Scroll of Agonizing Doom, and was delighted when it almost lived up to its name and weakened her considerably. Finishing her off was no easy task, but finally she fell and I grabbed the nearby Talisman of Death. Frantically looking for an exit before more guards arrived, I found the doors jammed shut, and turned back to find Hawkana’s wounds healing and her getting to her feet. Defeating her once again was easier, and I removed the magical ring she was wearing and in a fit of madness put it on my own finger. Luckily it turned out that no gods were offended by this, and some of my wounds were healed. Trying the doors again, they opened and I found the thieves waiting for me on the other side. As we made our escape, the predictable betrayal arrived in the form of a clumsy knife thrust from the thief named Bloodheart. I used him as a human shield as crossbow bolts peppered the air around us, then shook my fist at the other thieves until they turned tail and ran for it. All in all, a successful night’s work.

Unfortunately for me, the thieves had already gone crying to their friend Tyutchev, who appeared in the street ahead of me with his companion Cassandra and the weird magician chap from earlier. Demanding the Talisman, they summoned a troll-like creature with a huge hammer, which lumbered towards me intimidatingly. However as I knew the magician to be an illusionist, I ignored the creature as it struck me and it faded into nothing. Then a ball of fire was heading my way, and literally scarred by my recent experiences with fire I dodged it by running directly at Tyutchev, catching him off guard and managing to wound him. He then turned invisible and Cassandra decided to join in, which made things rather unfair. Desperate, I called on the All-Mother as explained to me earlier, and a giant eagle swooped in and carried me away in its claws. A voice in my head told me that the mountain I sought was over there in the distance, then the eagle got tired and put me down in another part of town. A shame the eagle was so unfit – it could have carried the One Ring, er, Talisman to the portal by itself. But that would be too easy.

Looking for a way out of the city, I soon found my path blocked by a monk with a praying mantis tattooed on his head. Thinking that this was way cooler than, say, a unicorn tattoo, I asked him to move out of my way politely, then less politely when he failed to respond. Things got ugly, but not for long, as a well-placed foot to my jaw knocked me unconscious. I awakened to find the monk had robbed me of the now-useless ring I found on Hawkana’s finger, but my gold, provisions, ruby and ring of hit-things-better were still on my person. Weird.

Finding my way to the graveyard I had a brief altercation with one of the restless denizens, before finding the gate leading out of the city. Heading towards the hills I was soon attacked by a large griffin which knocked me to the ground and took advantage of my predicament by impaling itself on my sword repeatedly. Eventually it gave up the fight and we had a nice chat. It offered to carry me wherever I liked, so I hopped on its back and we headed towards the mountain. Musing on how this was far too good to be true, I was unsurprised when a Pteranodon slammed into us and knocked me off my mount (OK, I was slightly surprised it was a pterosaur and not, say, an electrical storm or a flock of angry pigeons). Luckily I landed on a giant fern and was able to handily defeat the creature as it swooped down in an attempt to finish me off. Wondering where the griffin had got to, I struggled through the oversized undergrowth and was soon accosted by a flipping triceratops. After a few rounds of combat, things escalated even further when none other than a Tyrannosaurus lumbered out of the undergrowth. Realising that I had gotten myself into the path of a fleeing Triceratops, I slipped away while a titanic battle ensued between the dinosaurs, a loud crash indicating the Tyrannosaurus’s defeat.

Arriving at the side of Mount Star-reach I began the arduous climb towards my goal. After a while I came to a tunnel in the mountainside, which for some reason I decided to investigate, because messing about in tunnels is a great idea when half the world is trying to prevent you from fulfilling your quest. Inside I eventually came face to sleeping face with a dragon, slumbering on a huge pile of treasure. Given the option to back away and continue my quest rather than the incredibly foolish-sounding options of attacking the dragon, creeping towards the dragon or stealing his prized treasure, I made my outside and continued my climb. Eventually I arrived at the peak and saw the portal back to Earth hanging in the air. Delighted that my quest was over, I ran towards it, only to be confronted by the dragon I ignored earlier. Almost reluctantly, he announced that he was unable to allow me to pass through the portal for some reason, and burned me to a cinder. Oh.

Luckily, this was a world of second chances, and as my spirit floated through the Valley of Death, it met the people who originally summoned me here in the first place. They offered to send me back, which I thought sounded like a great offer, until I materialised back outside the city of Greyguilds. Gah.

Taking a more direct route towards the mountain this time, I passed the rest of the day without incident. After the sun set, however, I was met by some kind of horse-riding ghost (well, a ghost-horse-riding ghost) who was really quite insistent that Death would come for what was his. I soon saw him off by waving my torch frantically at him, and the rest of the night passed with no further interruptions. The following night, however, saw him return with five of his ghostly friends. This time brandishing the Talisman and yelling at them seemed to do the trick. Worries that they might return with a whole army of Death-botherers didn’t last and I settled down to a restful sleep.

Arriving at a different side of the mountainside, I climbed up the giant steps carved into the rock, until, exhausted, I stopped for a rest by a waterfall. Checking behind it as any seasoned adventurer would do, I noticed a cave entrance, which I entered to find a door bearing the symbol of a dragon and a spear. Opening it and continuing onward, I found myself in a room with a circular pillar. Reading an inscription on its surface gave me a cryptic clue about a ‘first door’ and risking my life, which I didn’t have time to dwell on as the ceiling collapsed. Diving for safety I managed to avoid being crushed to death and continued down the passage, soon finding myself in another room with pillars, and some writing telling me that ‘only one can be read’. Foolishly reading the circular pillar, I shouldn’t have been surprised to find exactly the same clue I had read earlier, before the other pillars disappeared into nothingness. Curses. The next room contained a bizarre statue of some kind of serpent-wolf god named Damolh, and four doors, each displaying a different symbol: a serpent, a monkey, a beetle and a dragon. Reasoning that the door I entered these caves through had shown a dragon and a spear, I entered the dragon room and found myself trapped as a portcullis dropped behind me. Having flashbacks to previous adventures and with little else to do, I opened a nearby sarcophagus which contained some mummified remains. Grabbing the spear from its dead hands, I discovered that they weren’t entirely dead, and was forced to fight the mummy with my newfound weapon, which proved most helpful. Then I found a secret tunnel under the sarcophagus which led me back outside, further up the mountain. Result!

Dodging some falling rocks, I eventually arrived at a plateau and sat down for a rest. Then a group of ‘Hogmen’ burst out of the undergrowth before me and grunted at me a bit. Barely able to stand, I offered them a shiny ruby to leave me alone, and they were so pleased that they invited me to their village. Wary of offending them, I agreed and went along with them to their village where I met their chief, who gave me some very useful advice about defeating the red dragon which guards the portal – that being to fashion a shield from the dragon’s very own scales. Easy then.

Soon I arrived at the dragon’s cave once again, and headed inside, this time taking the a side passage out of curiosity. Imagine my delight when the passage led directly behind the dragon, within reach of several of its scales! Grabbing three of them I crept back outside again, before fashioning a shield out of the scales using the gum the hog-chief had provided me with. Clambering once more to the very top of the mountain, I was greeted again by the red dragon, and attempted to strike up a conversation. The dragon tried to con me into leaving my weapons behind and walking through the portal, a ruse which was embarrassingly easy to see through. Combat was joined, and an epic confrontation it surely was, until suddenly the dragon turned into a wimpy old man and begged for his life, telling me that I had lifted his curse and he could now accompany me through the portal to Earth. Not a chance. As he was run through with my spear, he transformed back into the sneaky red dragon as he died. With that, the last obstacle to my quest was removed, and I walked through the portal, finding myself on Earth once again. Voices spoke to me, thanking me for my service, and suggesting that they might call on me again one day. Pick someone else next time, you lazy sods.

Conclusion: Success!

Number of combats: 18

Review

Writing: The plot here is somewhat interesting, with the hero being plucked from Earth and deposited in the strange world of Orb, having no idea what awaits. The reasoning for your summoning may be a bit thin but once you get going it’s a very enjoyable adventure. The section of the story that takes place in the city of Greyguilds is by far the most interesting, especially the interactions with the Thieves’ Guild and breaking into Hawkana’s temple. The tiger charm was a nice touch which hilariously causes a fight in the pub, as you’d expect, but doesn’t derail the story. I found the environments in the second half of the book a bit less interesting although the prehistoric-style jungle was fun to imagine. The trip to the mountain didn’t hold my interest as much as the first half of the book, however, and I think keeping the whole story in and around the city would have been more fun and allowed the authors to flesh out the city a bit more.

Writing: 3/5

Artwork: Pretty good, with some illustrations much better than others. The cover is dramatic if slightly unclear what is happening, while the interior drawings give a good impression of the weirdness of the world of Orb. I particularly like Bob Harvey’s representation of undead creatures, the envoy of death being a nice example.

Artwork: 4/5

Design: The journey around the city of Greyguilds in particular felt like a good example of a non-linear adventure where several paths can lead to success while others are doomed to failure. The way the city almost bullies the adventurer is fun (and reminiscent of City of Thieves) and for the most part common sense and caution are rewarded while poor decisions are punished. After the city you are presented with three routes to the final destination - as I completed the book in one attempt I wasn’t able to explore all of them but it’s good to enhance replayability, presuming that victory is possible regardless of route.

The fact that you can die in many ways and be given a second chance (or third, or fourth…) is quite forgiving and lets you try again without making you start all over again, increasing the likelihood that a player will stick it out and finish the book. It’s odd that this only applies to deaths outside combat, which is still mostly as deadly as ever.

Design: 4/5

Fairness: The level of difficulty in this book is reasonably high but rather than this being due to a shopping list of items or 50/50 instant death decisions, it’s mostly down to the number of combats in the book, in particular a couple of SKILL 12 encounters – however both of these encounters can be made easier if you make the right decisions (although their SKILL stays the same). Many deaths are the result or a lack of common sense (trusting the wrong people for instance) and even when you get it wrong you are usually presented with another chance.

Fairness: 3/5

Cheating index: 0 Razaaks

Average enemy stats

Successful path: 19 enemies, SKILL 8.1, STAMINA 10.6

Entire book: 63 enemies, SKILL 8.2, STAMINA 10.0

Instant death paragraphs: 11

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: A low skill will probably see you worn down throughout the book such that you’d be unlikely to survive the big combats, even if you rule that SKILL bonuses from weapons and armour add to your attack strength. Therefore I’d say this is a LIE.

Final thoughts: An enjoyable story which gives you a fair chance at succeeding without multiple playthroughs as long as you have half decent stats. The world of Orb seems both interesting in places and bland in others, and something about the experience is lacking in that even though it’s better than many previous books in many ways, this one doesn’t seem as memorable for some reason. Nevertheless this is a very well written and strong entry in the series.

Final score: 7/10

Fighting Fantasy #10 - House of Hell

2020-06-26T18:22:00.001+01:00

Title: House of Hell

Author: Steve Jackson

Illustrators: Ian Miller (cover), Tim Sell (interior)

Published: 1984

Level of previous knowledge: Extremely creepy, virtually no chance of survival, don’t go near the kitchen, demon thing. That’s about it. It’s going to be a rough ride.

Plot summary: A hapless wanderer, I’ve wandered haplessly out of the storm into a house that is not all it seems. Will I survive the night or perish at the hands/claws/hurtful insults of the horrors within?

Rules: This book introduces the FEAR score, an indicator of how close one is to being literally frightened to death. There is no mention of provisions or potions with which to restore stats, and you start this book with a -3 penalty of SKILL on account of being unarmed. Nothing to worry about then.

Adventure Log

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 7 (4), STAMINA 16, LUCK 8, FEAR 8

Nothing to worry about at all.

Having driven my car into a ditch on a stormy night, I found myself dripping all over the porch of someone’s rather run-down detached property (by detached I mean, by several miles), wondering if they would be kind enough to let me use their phone. Which the introduction told me they don’t have. Hmmm. Deciding that creeping around outside the house at midnight wasn’t the best way to get on the owner’s good side, I rapped the knocker politely. The door was opened by a grumpy butler who invited me in and informed me that the Master was expecting my arrival. All perfectly normal.

Told to wait in a finely decorated reception hall, I soon got bored and decided to wander about looking at the paintings, disrespectfully walking mud all over the floors. Oops. My eye was drawn to the portrait of a young lady, which then whispered to me that the house was cursed, not to drink the white wine, and I should probably run for it before my inevitable death. Nothing unusual here. Still mostly unconcerned, I thought I’d just check outside to see what the weather was doing. I wasn’t trying to escape or anything, but the door security system had kicked in and I got myself slightly electrocuted when trying to open it. Silly me.

Immediately afterwards, the Master himself arrived, and put me at ease, apparently not noticing my frazzled state. The butler returned with brandy which I drank on the basis that it couldn’t be as bad as the white wine. Finding this all rather relaxing, I kicked back and warmed my feet by the fire while the Earl of Drumer prattled on about the storm and how I could stay over and watch Netflix all night. Then it was dinner time, for which I selected a main course of lamb with a glass of red wine (seriously, what kind of monster would pair white wine with lamb anyway? Oh, and something about possible death). Not wondering in the slightest about why the Earl had waited until midnight to eat his own dinner, we had a nice chat about his family and how everyone thought they were a bunch of evil freaks but they were perfectly nice really, before it was time for the next course. Unable to avoid a choice including coffee (I guessed it would keep me awake for the Netflix binge-athon I had planned), I opted to have some fruit and more brandy, before being shown upstairs to my room, impressed with the level of service I’d received thus far.

Climbing into bed, I drifted off into a disturbed sleep, eventually waking in a cold sweat to find that someone had kindly left me a nightcap (a drink, not headwear). It didn’t smell like Chardonnay, so I downed it in one and settled back down to sleep. Just before unconsciousness took me I realised that the room was spinning more than usual and my drink had been spiked. Grrrr, that’s a star off their Trip Advisor review!

Awaking once more, I found my hands and feet were tied together. Reflecting that there must have been a grave miscommunication with the housekeeping staff as to the manner of my stay, I hopped over to the window, smashed it, and severed my bonds on the jagged glass, as well as a few of my veins. Emerging from the room, I found myself on a first floor landing, and wandered along to the corner where two doors awaited. Choosing the Balthus room, I entered to find the décor was extremely dire (heh, heh). The sight of bulging curtains was extremely tempting but given the nature of the book I assumed that looking behind anything was a good way to accumulate FEAR points, and therefore opted to investigate the wooden box on the mantelpiece. As I approached it, however, the curtains rustled alarmingly. For some reason I chose to walk right over to them rather than doing something sensible (running for my life came to mind), and was rewarded for my curiosity with a powerful blow to the chest and a meeting with the rustler, a rather unfriendly fellow guest who appeared to be a zombie. Oh, and 2 FEAR points. Barely surviving the ensuing combat (presumably my first ever combat) I bled all over the wooden box while opening it to find a key. Wondering what it was for, I tried it in the door I’d just arrived through and it unlocked – which was somewhat of a surprise because I wasn’t aware it had locked itself.

In a rather grumpy mood, I opened the unmarked door nearby to enter another passage, I encountered a door to the Diabolus room. Thinking that it sounded rather lovely, I entered and closed the door behind me, clearly not learning anything from the previous room. Taking a quick rest, I was soon greeted by another of the house’s other guests, a bloody headless ghost who gave me 4 FEAR points by proclaiming my inevitable doom and generally being terrifying and making an awful mess.

Slightly overwrought by this point, I decided that investigating curtains was now an entirely logical thing to do and drew back the pair covering a window in the hallway. My anticipated doom was postponed when nothing relatively terrifying happened, and all I saw was a strange message written in condensation on the window – “Mordana in Abaddon”. Making a note to myself that this might be useful if I lived longer than a further five minutes, I headed back to the landing and moved onwards.

Unsure if I’d get another chance to explore up here, I ignored the main stairs down and entered another unmarked door. Behind was a store room, where I found a knife I could use in combat, and some garlic which I shoved into my pocket in case I was asked to help out in the kitchen later (maybe while still alive). Ignoring the opportunity to drink a ‘white liquid’ (not appetizing at all) I went through another door into another passage containing another door and another door. Entering the Shaitan room, I found myself in an elegant bedroom. Closing the door behind me again (duh) I heard a soft click which no doubt indicated I was once again locked in. Then an amused, disembodied voice taunted me, which was a bit scary, but luckily it wasn’t disembodied at all and turned out to be the voice of a vampire, who hypnotized me with his gaze and sank his fangs into my neck.

Conclusion: Failure. But at least I wasn’t scared to death…

Number of combats: 1

Attempt #2

Stats rolled: SKILL 10 (7), STAMINA 17, LUCK 10, FEAR 11

Waiting for my host to arrive in the reception hall again, I decided this time to peruse a painting of a posh-looking fellow in glasses. His eyes started moving, but I wasn’t scared because I totally expected it. He seemed to be trying to draw my attention to one of the doors down the hall, so I wandered over and tried the handle. Bzzzzt! Either the door was the front door again (a bit misleading, old chap!) or the security system applied to every door in the building, in which case I had better head to the kitchen and find some rubber gloves.

Sticking to the menu options which allowed me to survive dinner last time, I was shown to my room once more. Opting for a short nap, when I awoke I ignored the drugged nightcap and took the only other option, which for some reason was to batter down the door to the room. This didn’t work out very well, and while I rubbed my shoulder in consternation I heard footsteps approaching. Unsurprised that my host should investigate guest violence, I sprang back in bed and pretended to be asleep. A fellow with a distinct hunch in his back entered (there must be a word to describe him…) and left me another drink (apparently in case the first didn’t do the job) and turned to leave. Then I made my move, leaping out of the bed to attack him, before remembering I was unarmed and this wasn’t necessarily the best idea I’d ever had. Overpowering and interrogating him, I demanded he tell me how to escape the house, and he told me to use the front door. Duh. I then proceeded to wander across to the stairs in some kind of idiotic daze while the hunch-backed fellow disappeared somewhere before I realised how foolish that was. Hmmm.

Deciding to avoid going in the direction my devious hosts would want me to go, I entered an unmarked door to find myself in a familiar store room. Grabbing the knife and some garlic, I continued into another passage where I found the door to the vampire’s room, and another one called ‘Mammon’. Deciding to try the latter, I entered an unremarkable room and had a bit of a root about. Unfortunately the poltergeist within made it clear that my intrusion was unwelcome, and rewarded me by dropping a vase on my head, and then pulling the old ‘moving the bed out of the way’ trick. The chair careering across the room at me was the last straw, so I ran for it, 3 FEAR points worse off than before.

Deciding that a vampire was at least visible and less likely to throw furniture at me, I entered his room once more, fancying a bit of revenge. Attacking him with a fearsome clove of garlic, I was able to escape into a secret passage in the back of his cupboard, which didn’t seem like a particularly good idea, but panic makes for poor decisions. A narrow passageway headed to some stairs which I descended cautiously, wondering if the vampire was aware of the secret passage at all, and somehow missed me diving into it. Coming to a landing, I opened another door into a room with an odd curtain of hazy sparkliness, which I naturally poked at with my finger. Meeting no resistance, I decided to poke my entire head through, because nothing could possibly go wrong there, to find my head emerging through a mirror into another room. Initially thinking better of it, I tried the door to one side but was unable to unlock it, so shrugged and wandered heedlessly through the curtain.

Opening a door to leave the room, I entered a passageway and went around a corner, having absolutely no idea where I was by this point. Opening another door, I found myself in an immaculate kitchen. Ignoring the alarm bells in my mind, I had a quick look around for rubber gloves but was unable to find any. Opening the pantry door, I was greeted by an unpleasant rotting fellow who could only communicate by hissing and clawing at my eyes. Managing to dispatch him without taking more than a single wound, my self-congratulation was interrupted somewhat by the clattering of pots and pans as the creature collapsed them. Grimacing, I didn’t have to wait long for the Master’s friends to show up, an odd bunch with some kind of goat fetish. Apparently resistance would be foolish, so I sensibly allowed myself to be put into a prison cell with no hope of ever escaping. Boo.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #3

Stats rolled: SKILL 9 (6), STAMINA 16, LUCK 7, FEAR 7

Taking the same actions as my previous self, except for this time having a chat with a painting of an old woman who informed me that I should look for a potential ally in a grey robe, I found myself once again attacking the hunchback, who after giving me the battering of a lifetime, told me that there was some kind of special occasion tonight and a man in grey was going to be punished, and he could be found in the Asmodeus room. Noting this potentially useful information, I locked the giggling wretch in the room and stepped out on to the landing.

Turning in the opposite direction to last time, I was accosted by a young woman in a bridal dress who was a bit more transparent than the average person. We had a nice chat where she told me that all sorts of horrible things were going to happen tonight, and I was likely to be a demonic sacrifice, so I should find something called the Kris knife. She was just about to tell me where to find it when she was attacked and vanquished by some ghostly dogs, and I was alone once more, to consider my options.

Heading back down the corridor I entered some kind of laboratory where I proceeded to root around for anything useful, finding a letter opener I could use as a weapon in combat. Given my pitiful remaining health I wanted to continue my search (hopefully finding some kind of potion of healing-not-poison-for-a-change) but was interrupted by voices outside. Waiting for the noise to subside, I crept from the room and moved on into familiar territory. Checking the window to read about Mordana again, I ignored an array of other rooms which I knew contained nothing of use and headed for the storeroom to find another weapon and some garlic.

This time deciding to avoid the vampire’s room altogether, I headed back out on to the landing. Trying the next door, I met an old man who immediately lurched towards me for a hug, and I obliged him. The realisation that he wasn’t breathing eventually sunk in, however, so I panicked and ran off down the landing like a lunatic, leaving the body in the middle of the floor. Subtle. Turning left down a side passage, I found a door to the Asmodeus room. Excited that my potential ally could be inside, I entered, only to find myself attacked by the man within. Managing to avoid fatal injury, I managed to persuade him that I meant no harm and asked him how to defeat the Master. He told me about the Kris knife which was the Master’s only weakness, and how it was hidden in a secret room downstairs somewhere, with a password only known to Mordana, who was unfortunately dead, but around here that wasn’t necessarily a barrier to communication. Marvelling at the arrogance of evil villains who insist on keeping the weapons that were their greatest weakness nearby, I waited for the man to leave and then inspected a heavy crate. This contained a tasty-looking goat carcass, which unfortunately was decapitated and therefore quite terrifying. On the edge of losing my sanity, I headed back out to the passage.

The door opposite opened into a simple bedroom, which I inspected thoroughly (and extremely carefully, in case I saw a spider that would tip me over the edge). Finding nothing of interest, I turned to leave but was alarmed to hear footsteps approaching outside, Ready to ambush the visitor (well, I only lost 10 STAMINA points the last time I ambushed someone) I was disappointed when the footsteps receded once more into the distance. Despite being extremely tired (you know,, almost dead) I opted not to sleep in the bed and crept back outside. Moving on to the next bedroom, I again opted to avoid the bed and instead peered out of the barred window. I was greeted by the sight of an old man hanging from a tree by his neck, which I thought was rather decorative in a Halloween kind of way, but was unfortunately scary enough that my heart stopped right there and then. Maybe I should have had a nap after all.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #4

Stats rolled: SKILL 12 (9), STAMINA 17, LUCK 10, FEAR 7

With another low FEAR threshold, I decided that the best approach would be to avoid everything non-essential which gave me FEAR points last time, so I walked around the landing, only popping to the window with the writing on and the store room to grab the knife along the way. I even avoided my ‘ally’ in grey because he was a bit scary and didn’t really give me any vital information. Further around the landing, I was excited to find the Abaddon room, and entered cautiously. Inside I found an old woman sleeping in her bed. Fearful that the bed might decide to eat her or something, I poked her awake, only to find out she was dead, which was a bit of a shock (2 FEAR points’ worth). Then her eyes flicked open, which wasn’t scary at all. After a frankly justified rant about strangers poking around in her bedchamber, she set her dogs on me, which I reluctantly (ish) put down before threatening the herb garden on her windowsill. She agreed to answer a question if I could say her name, which I fortunately knew because someone had randomly graffitied it on a window on the other side of the house. I asked her about the potential secret doors downstairs that the man in grey mentioned in a previous life and I finally received some useful information about how to find the one leading to the Master’s secret sanctum. I left her to moan in peace and went back out on to the landing, where I was denied the opportunity to check the other nearby doors and went straight down the main stairs.

Choosing a direction at random, I entered a cosy room with chairs arranged around a recently-extinguished fireplace. Finding an inferior dagger, I turned my attention to the mantelpiece where a strange clock caught my eye (and my sleeve) and while I faffed about with it I failed to notice the fire sprites forming in the fireplace. Backing away desperately, I conceived a cunning plan which involved tossing the contents of a large plant pot over them, and marvelling at my own strength, I was successful in dousing both of the creatures. Back at the mantelpiece I discovered a suspicious button which I didn’t trust at all, suspecting a one-way trip to the cellar or worse.

Going through another door I found myself in a study, where a piece of paper was writing on itself, which was a bit disconcerting. The words ‘Find Shekou’ appeared, and after a moment’s thought I remembered that my previous self had discovered that this was the hunchback’s name (but only as he guided me unhelpfully past the ‘Mordana’ window and straight to the stairs). Wondering if I should head back to the room I locked him in, I had a look through some of the books on the shelf. Given a choice between black magic and hypnotism, I chose the former in case the other took things a bit too literally. Inside I found a pentacle purported to have powers over some demon worshippers, which I felt might be handy at some point. Rejecting the opportunity to root around further, as this room had already provided useful things and I didn’t want to push my luck, I left the study and tried another door. Hearing voices, I became spooked and ran for the door opposite instead.

Finding myself at a flight of stairs heading down into the cellar, I descended carefully but was soon attacked by a cloud of bats. Hiding under the stairs, I realised I was in the place where the secret door should be, and fumbled about with the wall for a while. Given a choice of passwords (and trying to roleplay slightly by ignoring the option I’d never heard of) I had a guess, and was surprised when the door opened, to reveal a small room containing a promising-looking box. Entering fearfully, I opened the box to discover none other than the Kris knife I needed to defeat the Master! Pleased with my discovery, I again rejected the idea of searching around further and backed out of the room.

Heading back up the stairs to the ground floor, I opened another door into a reception room adorned with murals and a huge floor-to-ceiling mirror. Peering at the mirror, I freaked out when I noticed I had no reflection, and briefly wondered if I was actually a continuation of the previous self who had an intimate encounter with the vampire. Closer inspection revealed that I could pass entirely through the mirror if I wished to. A quick look around drew my attention to a secret compartment in a table, inside which was a leather box. As I grabbed it, I heard voices approaching, and facing a decision between facing crazy people with evidence of theft in my hands and diving through a possibly inter-dimensional mirror, I chose the latter.

Somewhat disappointed to find myself in a tiny, boring room, I tried one of the doors which I successfully unlocked with the contents of the leather box, a shiny golden key. Entering the room beyond, I followed some dusty footprints to discover another key, this one made of iron, hidden carefully in the wall. Thinking that I must be on the right track, I opened the other door to find myself on a landing with stairs coming from above and heading below. Denied the opportunity to search upwards (and having a sneaking suspicion about where it might lead anyway) I headed downwards but clumsily slipped in the darkness and tumbled all the way to the bottom. Ouch.

Wandering down a dark tunnel, I came to a large room where forty or so nutcases wearing goat-head masks were gathered around a fire, preparing for the sacrifice of a young woman. Wondering what they did with the rest of the goats (I didn’t see any on the menu earlier), I considered my options. Direct confrontation seemed foolish (scuse me, I forgot my mask but I heard the sacrifice had been moved to Tuesday, didn’t you get the email?), so I sneaked around the wall in search of an escape route. I was spotted but the power of my pentacle kept the freaks at bay until I exited via the side passage, leaving them to their depravity.

Feeling distinctly unheroic, I entered a small passageway with two doors leading from it. Opening one, I met an odd chap called Rafferty, who was clearly terrified of me. I allowed him to blather before giving anything away and was about to tell him to calm down when he produced a knife and stabbed himself in the stomach. Oh well. Finding nothing else of interest in the room, I opened the door opposite to find myself set upon by several more dogs. Finishing them all off, I drank from their water jug but again found nothing else of interest. Back out in the passageway I could find no way out, so sensibly pressed a button described as a bell push, and was only slightly surprised that this resulted in a bell going off. Soon after I would be captured by the evil servants of the Master and there would be no escape.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 4

Attempt #5

Stats rolled: SKILL 9 (6), STAMINA 16, LUCK 8, FEAR 12

Following the same route as last time up to the room with the mirror, this time I avoided going down the dark stairs to the basement and went back out into the ground floor hallway. Spotting a familiar door leading to the kitchen, I took the door on he opposite side, which I unlocked with the iron key I’d found in the wall and opened, to find myself in the dining room once more. Checking for traps revealed nothing, so I rang for the butler and waited, intending to fool him by asking for a midnight snack or something. Instead I found myself asking him to fetch the Earl, and when he angrily arrived I just blurted out that I knew they were nasty scallywags and I was going to do something about it. I’m not sure what I expected to happen next, but they nodded to each other and came at me, threatening violence - how uncouth! Going for the more fragile-looking butler first, I managed to land a hit before he screamed loudly, literally melted before my eyes and turned into what I could only describe as an oversized demon-goat (or perhaps goat-demon would do it better justice). Restarting my heart, I dashed heroically into combat and despite my years of not training at all, managed to defeat the creature with barely a scratch to show for it. As it crashed to the ground, it knocked a load of candles on to the floor and set fire to the house, which in any good story is a sign of victory. Leaving the sobbing Earl to hug the hopefully dying beast (I’m not sure the fire would finish the job), I ran out of the house back into the creepy woods where I realised I had my mobile phone in my pocket the whole time. Silly me!

Conclusion: Success!

Number of combats: 4

Review

Writing: Steve Jackson does a great job of making this book as creepy as possible with some of the best writing in the FF series so far. Descriptions are for the most part well fleshed out and many situations are genuinely quite scary (especially when I read this as a child!) Although I often dislike the practice of telling the reader what they are thinking, it somehow works in this book to create a sense of paranoia and a feeling that you’re not entirely in control of your emotions throughout, which plays into the FEAR score. The overall plot is fun but does feel like a bit of a missed opportunity – there are lots of isolated encounters in this book with nothing to weave them together, and given that they are all in the same house I feel that more could have been done with this.

Writing: 4/5

Artwork: I really enjoyed the drawings in this one – they complement the creepy nature of the book well and add a lot to the atmosphere. I’m particularly a fan of the depiction of the zombie behind the bulging curtain…

Artwork: 4/5

Design: Describing a journey around a maze-like house full of secret passages designed to ensnare the unprepared is always going to be challenging and there are several occasions where it’s extremely unclear which direction is being referred to, or whether you’re going back the way you came, if you’ve been here before, etc. Often there are occasions where for no apparent reason you are not given the option to open a door which was right there a minute earlier, or explore a passage in one direction because the story is trying to push you onwards. And I don’t mind being moved on by the story, but I’d like it to be done more elegantly than being told that I randomly choose to ignore things, or just have them disappear as if they were never there at all.

The path to success is quite narrow with very little leeway, but I think my biggest problem with it is that the most interesting things happen when you do things that will cause you to lose. For instance most of the doors upstairs can be safely ignored and although you lose out on flavour information there is only one thing you need to do, which is to read the message on the window and then go all the way around to meet Mordana, missing a lot of potentially fun situations on the way. Downstairs is a maze, perhaps not by design but by the way directions are described, making it extremely easy to accidentally end up in an ‘all roads lead to the kitchen’ situation which is most irritating (all choices in the kitchen lead to death). On my successful playthrough I avoided the basement entirely except for getting the Kris knife from under the stairs, but there are a lot of fun encounters down there. Unfortunately all but a couple of them are on a path which ends in death regardless of your choices, which is a bit of a shame.

Finally I love the idea behind the FEAR mechanic but the problem is it actively discourages you from exploring, and once you know a bit more about the correct path you absolutely have to avoid a lot of fun encounters because they give no reward except a potential heart attack.

Design: 2/5

Fairness: I’m a bit torn here – on the one hand this book is pretty unforgiving with lots of ‘gotcha’ moments which can come out of nowhere, but on the other, that’s kind of the point of a horror-themed gamebook and I won’t mark it down too much for that. However the path to success is very narrow and not intuitive at all – there are many ways to end up in the basement but I believe to get the password to the secret room only one of them is ‘correct’ which involves falling through a trapdoor. I didn’t do this but luckily guessed the password correctly anyway, only working out the correct route by leafing through the book after winning. Also I can’t help but feel the player should be rewarded for doing things rather than not doing them!

In terms of numbers, there are very few combats involved on the way to victory but the main issue is the FEAR score – I believe there are 8 mandatory FEAR points on the path and I didn’t come across any ways to reduce it so I believe a FEAR score of 9+ is mandatory.

Fairness: 3/5

Cheating index: I may have cheated a teensy-weensy bit once when I was again redirected to the kitchen while exploring the ground floor. 1 Razaak

Average enemy stats

Successful path: 5 encounters, SKILL 8.4, STAMINA 8.2

Entire book: 31 encounters, SKILL 7.3, STAMINA 6.8

Instant death paragraphs: 20

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: I’m pretty sure this is a LIE based on the FEAR score required to succeed but I’m happy to be proven wrong…

Final thoughts: Despite its design flaws I really enjoyed my terrifying adventure in the House of Hell. This was the first Fighting Fantasy book I ever played and may be subject to some bias but it’s a strong entry in the series and should be praised for doing things a bit differently. With some tweaks to the design it could have been something amazing.

Final score: 7/10

Fighting Fantasy #9 - Caverns of the Snow Witch

2020-06-16T18:42:00.003+01:00

Title: Caverns of the Snow Witch

Author: Ian Livingstone

Illustrators: Les Edwards (cover), Gary Ward and Edward Crosby (internal)

Published: 1984

Level of previous knowledge: I remember the storyline very well – man inherits quest to defeat Snow Witch, man defeats Snow Witch, man spends rest of book trying to survive consequences of defeating Snow Witch. The details of how any of that is achieved escape me at present, although the high difficulty level is less easy to forget.

Plot summary: Oh right, well, see above. At the start of the book, however, I am a mere caravan guard who has just volunteered to hunt down whatever ferocious beast slaughtered everyone at a trading outpost in the mountains. Little do I know how the nature of my quest would soon change…

Rules: Standard rules, ten provisions, choice of potion. The Adventure Sheet has a space for Jewels, which I feel is hopelessly optimistic.

Adventure Log:

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 7, STAMINA 15, LUCK 10

Potion: STAMINA

I suspect my first trip into the frozen wilds of the Icefinger Mountains will be extremely short and violent…

Beginning my hunt, I head back to the outpost where the traders were brutally slaughtered in the hopes of finding tracks to follow. Unfortunately they’d long since been covered by the heavy snow so in absence of a better idea, I decided to wander up into the mountains with the visibility at near zero. My high SKILL score would get me through, right?

Eschewing the tempting opportunity to cross an ice bridge across a crevasse with a SKILL score of 7 (did I mention the visibility?) I chose to walk around instead. Before long I was set upon by a friendly mammoth which, in an attempt to nuzzle me gently, accidentally tore me limb from limb and left my crushed remains to be buried by the snow.

Conclusion: Failure. Obviously.

Number of combats: 1

Attempt #2

Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 15, LUCK 7

Potion: LUCK

My high SKILL score will get me through, right?

Right. Following my own footprints, I headed up into the mountains once more. Feeling better about the ice bridge this time, I stepped gingerly on to the slippery surface and was asked to make a LUCK test. Oh crap. LUCKily I managed to avoid falling to another premature death and made it to the other side. Could I go home now?

Pushing on through the howling wind, I soon encountered two friendly wolves who attempted to eat my face. Unfortunately for them, they had encountered a more skilled incarnation of this caravan guard, and were dispatched quickly. Assuming these were not the creatures I was looking for, I continued my climb. However, the incline increasing and the pleasantness of the weather decreasing, I began to struggle to make progress. Stubbornly pushing on, I was prompted a second time that maybe it would be a good idea to take shelter, so I took the hint and built myself a lovely igloo. Settling in my new home, I ate a luxurious meal and nothing tried to eat me for an hour or so. Good times.

Emerging after the blizzard abated, I continued on until I arrived at a wooden hut. Wondering if our vicious beastie was more civilised than I gave him credit for, I braced myself and entered. Finding little more than the trappings of a trapper, I was briefly disappointed until I spotted a pan of stew. Helping myself (it would be a shame if someone came home to find themselves the victim of a stew theft, but I had a sneaking feeling it wouldn’t be an issue), I had a nice rest before leaving the hut behind, grabbing a couple of weapons on the way out.

Feeling better prepared, I continued on my way, eventually hearing the cry of a stew theft victim being eaten by a yeti (I had a keen ear). Having found the object of my quest, I charged into battle, chucking a spear as I did so (oh yes, spear theft too – well he should have brought it with him, shouldn’t he?). Despatching my opponent with ease, I turned my attention to the injured fur trapper. It was too late to save him, but with his extremely long dying breath he told me a story about the evil Snow Witch, living in a cave up in the mountains, plotting to rule over mankind by bringing on an eternal ice age. Riveting stuff, but he died before telling me about the hero who slew her and saved the world. Anyway, I had to go back to my employer and collect my pay for a job well done. Then I lost control of my body entirely, and went in the opposite direction looking for a fictional witch instead of you know, keeping my job.

A sudden improvement in the weather put a pep in my step as I began my search for the Crystal Caves. I was soon brought to a halt by the rumbling sound of an oncoming avalanche, but I barely made it to a sheltering outcrop just in time as the snow and rocks cascaded around me.

Eventually I discovered the entry to the caves, a massive illusory wall of ice which gave no resistance as I passed through into a long tunnel. Turning at a junction, I arrived in a cavern containing nothing but a bowl of yellow liquid, complete with wooden ladle, resting on an ice plinth. Briefly wondering if this was where yellow snow came from, I decided to sip the liquid, assuming that it was unlikely to be poisonous given that they didn’t really expect any uninvited visitors here. It turned out to be some kind of healing potion, and I strolled back out of the cavern with a warming glow.

Further down the tunnel I came across one of the Snow Witch’s followers, a tall hooded mountain elf. Inwardly panicking, I attempted to nod my way past him, but he noticed that I wasn’t wearing an ‘obedience collar’ (I assumed due to some kind of X-ray vision allowing him to see through multiple layers of clothing and furs) and questioned me about it. Given the option to pretend I was having my collar widened due to weight gain, I decided the safest thing to do was to murder the poor chap in cold blood, so I did. As he died, the collar he was wearing stopped glowing, leaving me to wonder if this incident had not gone unnoticed.

At another junction I prudently turned in the direction away from the sounds of running and I was soon rewarded for this sensible course of action when the floor collapsed beneath me and I fell into a pit trap. Oof. I guess they were prepared for uninvited visitors after all, although how they managed to prevent the more stupid of the Snow Witch’s followers from blundering into this trap time and time again was a mystery. Two goblins then arrived and peered down at me, perhaps wondering if I was one of those stupid followers or an intruder. Deciding on the latter, they demanded that I throw away my sword and climb the rope they provided. Quickly guzzling my LUCK potion then giving the rope a firm tug had the pleasing result of both greenskins falling headlong into the pit, a trip which neither survived (one of them took a little persuasion). I looted what I could from their corpses and clambered out of the pit, continuing down the tunnel to find out what the pit trap was protecting.

Arriving at a circular cave containing a frozen orc and two pools in the ground, from each of which protruded a weapon, I read a carving in the ice which made it obvious which weapon was useful and which was not. Grabbing the weapon I was pleased to discover it added to my combat skill (using my rules this increases my attack strength regardless of initial SKILL, as it doesn’t make much sense otherwise) and rummaged through the orc’s backpack. Disappointed to find some mouldy bread, I declined the fungal snack and moved on.

This event was followed by an odd kind of dream sequence where I met a finely-clothed minstrel who played a song which healed my wounds. Having not eaten the mouldy bread I had no idea why my dreams were so vivid, and didn’t actually remember going to sleep, but when I awoke I was extremely refreshed, if somewhat baffled. Bewildered, I wandered straight into a chamber where some kind of congregation was going on, and straight out the other side before anyone noticed how my un-enslaved state. As I continued onward I heard cries for help and, feeling pretty darn heroic at the moment I headed in that direction to find a dwarf in a pit with onlookers chucking boulders at him. I helped him out by helping him out, and he gave me a sling and some drivel about a White Rat. Noticing the capital letters he used, I made a mental note to look out for it. Or away from it, or whatever.

I eventually emerged in a large cavern with a skull-shaped exit on the opposite side which was extremely foreboding and may as well have been adorned with a sign saying “Evil sorceress this way”. In front of this was some kind of elderly magician clutching a glass prism in his gnarled hands, who told me, in no uncertain terms, to bugger off. Lacking the item which would have provided the only other option, I decided that slaughtering the old man was the only course of action, and although he made this difficult by becoming three of himself, I managed to smash his prism which upset him rather a lot, and he ran off, presumably to ask the Snow Witch to get him another one. Avoiding the skull exit for now, I thought I’d check one of the side exits, assuming that I’d eventually come back here to progress. This proved emphatically to not be the case when an iron grille slammed down behind me as soon as I entered the tunnel. Perturbed, I continued along the tunnel and found my way blocked by another iron grille. More perturbed, I managed to throw a dagger accurately at the switch beyond which lifted the grille and allowed me to progress (the fact that for some reason this was a LUCK test and nothing to do with my SKILL meant that success was against the odds).

After a brief altercation with a crystal warrior which crumbled under the blows of my handy war hammer, I took another turning and arrived in a room with an open sarcophagus. A white rat jumped out of it and ran at me threateningly. Remembering the dwarf’s words I looked for the option to run for my life, but sadly this did not exist, and I was forced into combat with its final form, which was unfortunately that of a gigantic white dragon. In the ensuing melee I gave a good account of myself and had it on the ropes but before I could strike a killing blow its breath attack caught me off guard, and I became an extremely heroic-looking ice statue for the Snow Witch’s collection.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 6

Attempt #3

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 22, LUCK 12

Potion: STAMINA

Hmmm. I might stand a chance with the high STAMINA, but I’d better steer clear of any rats just in case.

Taking the same linear route through the mountains, I fought my way past the wolves and had a rather more fraught encounter with the Yeti this time, but my sheer endurance pulled me through. Entering the Crystal Caves I took the same route until I bumped into the mountain elf once more. Feeling less murderous today, I persuaded him that I was here to join the Snow Witch’s followers and, after attempting to talk me out of it, he gave me directions which avoided the pit trap and allowed me to explore a new tunnel.

I soon came to a kitchen, manned by a gnome chef and his Neanderthal scullion. Quite fancying a bit of the moose that was being skinned within, I entered, only to be meekly waved away with a bit of stale cake for my troubles. The cake wasn’t bad, but that moose looked darn tasty. Not long after I arrived at the room of worship again and attempted to stroll through the service nonchalantly. Unfortunately this offended some of the more devout worshippers and I was forced to run for it, expertly dodging their whips and darts as I did so.

Back on a familiar track, I helped the dwarf out of his pit once more and eventually found myself back in the skull-exited room with the mad magician leering at me again like he didn’t know what was coming. Smashing his little toy, I took the opposite door to last time, lacking the dagger necessary to escape the iron grille trap within. My heart sank as yet another iron grille slammed down behind me, but was momentarily relieved when my passage further was barred not just by an iron grille, but am iron grille with a door in it. A locked door. Oh dear. Lacking any kind of key and no option to pick the lock with, I don’t know, a war hammer, I was forced to wait until someone found me and dragged me off to join the Snow Witch’s minions.

Conclusion: Failure. Maybe I should just get over my skulldooraphobia.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #4

Stats rolled: SKILL 11, STAMINA 19, LUCK 9

Potion: LUCK

Taking the same route as last time, with a couple of exceptions – firstly I admitted to the mountain elf that I was going to kill his boss and he was delighted about that and gave me his cloak (I’m sure a lot of people can empathise), and when I arrived at the skull-framed door I bravely marched straight through, rather than risk getting trapped in the silly side passages again. On the other side, I met a big, friendly giant holding a treasure chest. Before I knew it my adventuring instincts kicked in and I’d fired a ball from my sling into the side of his head, before checking out the contents of the chest. Inside I found three rings. Knowing there was a good chance one of them would mean a painful death or worse, I decided that I would only try one of them on, and went for the least-valuable looking one in the hope it wasn’t a trap. Fortunately the ring told me it had the power to summon a warrior to my side, once and once only. How it relayed this information I can’t quite remember.

Leaving the chamber, I was soon back in a familiar tunnel where I was once again forced to smash a crystal warrior to pieces, this time taking quite a beating in the process. Copper ring, anyone? No? Hmph. Up ahead I turned away from the room where the white ratdragon resided and came to a closed door, behind which I could hear the sounds of shuffling feet. Unable to hear any dance music I assumed someone inside was incredibly shy or embarrassed, and knocked politely. The door was opened by a zombie who was perfectly friendly until he realised I probably had a brain, and became rather bad-mannered at that point. Chopping him into bits, I grabbed some miscellaneous junk from the storeroom and headed the only way I could go, which was unfortunately back the way I came.

Arriving once more at the sarcophagus, I sprinkled some recently-acquired ground minotaur horn on the transforming rat, and it scurried off into the shadows. Examining the sarcophagus I was shocked to discover it to be the resting place of the vampiric Snow Witch, who rose from her slumber and, only slightly perturbed by the garlic I brandished at her, proceeded to enslave me and drink my blood. If only I’d found a stick on my travels…

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 3

Attempt #5

Stats rolled: SKILL 7, STAMINA 17, LUCK 7

Yeah, right. Screw that.

Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 17, LUCK 12

That was the genuine second roll. Starting to earn Razaaks though…

Potion: STAMINA

So – bridge, wolves, yeti, cave, elf. Same as last time… until I arrived at the kitchen where the gnome and his Neanderthal friend were cooking up whatever vampiric sorceresses eat for dinner. On the lookout for any alternatives to my usual path, I refused the offer of cake and launched into an unprovoked attack on the startled pair, slaughtering the dim-witted scullion and sending the chef running for his life. Pleased with my act of violence I searched through the cupboards, finding several items: a stick with runes carved on it (woohoo!), a self-tooting flute, and a rose. Taking the first two items and leaving the rose alone on the basis that one in three items is nearly always a trap, I moved on, feeling more confident about my chances against the Snow Witch.

Eventually finding myself once again in the room with the skull door and the leering idiot, this time I took the new option available to me, that of pretending that I was here to play a little ditty on my flute for the Snow Witch. In turn, he tried to fool me by sending me down a tunnel which I knew full well led to a locked door and likely entrapment. After that, events proceeded much as they did last time. I took an absolute battering from the crystal warrior this time, but hobbled onward, picking up the odd items from the kitchen on the way to the Snow Witch’s chamber.

This time I was in possession of both garlic and an appropriate weapon, and was therefore able to pierce the evil sorceress’s heart with the apparently very sharp stick. And that was that. Heading homeward, I went looking for Big Jim and the caravan in the hope that I hadn’t been fired yet. Oh. What do you mean, there’s more?

Falling for the old ‘golden idol transforms into treasure guardian’ trick, I gleefully looted the Snow Witch’s treasure trunk and found myself in combat once again with a massive armoured warrior. Slightly scathed and more than a little tired, I prevailed and helped myself to a pile of gold, being offered the chance to leave an item behind for every 50 gold I took. Now I wished I’d picked up more crap along the way. (A bit odd that an empty backpack would have enabled me to take zero gold!) Leaving behind what must have been a surprisingly large clove of garlic and the now tainted stick, I shoved 100 gold into my backpack, quickly interrupted by the arrival of a dwarf and an elf, who were delighted that I’d saved them from enslavement and offered to help me escape. Rather than go back through the tunnels which were apparently full of goblins (hello? SKILL 12 here) they took me onward, through more tunnels which they had never explored before. Yay. While Redswift the elf jabbered on about nothing in particular and the dwarf (Stubb) smiled a lot, we came across some kind of glass orb on the floor, containing a swirl of colours. At this point I just wanted to get out of here, so I took the elf’s advice and left it well alone.

Onward, and we soon came to a large casket on one side of the tunnel. Despite grave misgivings and the advice Redswift had given only minutes earlier, we decided it would be jolly good fun to mess around with it, and drew lots to find out who would open it. The elf drew the short straw, and fortunately so as his elven instincts alerted him to a hidden catch which he released, evading a potentially nasty trap and revealing the treasure within – a pair of magical boots. Less fortunately for me, when we drew lots to decide who would get to wear them, Stubb the dwarf won, and gleefully pranced about in his new silent footwear while we grumbled to ourselves.

Making a note to loot the dwarf’s corpse should anything happen to him in the near future (ahem), we soon encountered a cave man who took exception to our presence, so I sent my companions down the next tunnel while I stayed behind to beat him up. Finding an odd star-shaped disc on his person, I pocketed it and caught up with my friends to find they had made the acquaintance of a tentacled monstrosity called a Brain Slayer. Feeling somewhat obliging, I willingly gave up some of my brainpower in order that my friends might live. Or at least, I think I did. Nursing a very sore head (and a permanent -2 to my SKILL) I was unable to prevent the creature’s escape, and found my companions in a similar state to mine. Opening one of the pots in the room in search of paracetamol, I found a parchment which taught me a spell to protect against an air elemental. Useful. Specific, but useful. Another pot contained a square metal disc which I added to my toy collection.

Yet another tunnel ended at a wooden door in which was embedded a dagger. Thinking better of touching the weapon, we opened the door into another tunnel, where we sat down for a rest. Grudgingly giving away the remainder of my provisions, I wondered how much further there was to travel. Further on, another door, this time with a parchment pinned to it. Redswift read the archaic script, and looked a bit terrified. Maybe it said “Any player, no matter how weak on initial dice rolls, should be able to get through fairly easily”. He then tore it to pieces and wouldn’t talk about it. I assumed we’d be fine then. Continuing down the next tunnel, I was unpleasantly surprised to find acid dripping on to me to the stalactites above, causing no little damage to my battered body.

Arriving in a larger cavern, we surprised an orc who had just entered from the other side. There was a glass globe on a plinth, which began to glow and coalesce into an image of the vile Snow Witch. She informed us that she could still defeat us, and proved it by using her spiritual powers to strangle the orc to death via his obedience collar. She then turned her attention to my companions, who were still wearing theirs. I fired a ball from my trusty sling, but this had no effect other than triggering a bolt of lightning that very nearly fried my face. She then began to strangle my companions while I hurled insults at her, eventually tapping into her ‘playful’ nature, which involved bringing in zombified versions of my friends for me to face in combat. Downing my potion of stamina before wading in, I defeated them with surprising ease. She then proposed a game of ‘Discs’ which was similar to Rock, Paper, Scissors and would use the discs I’d found on my travels. Only possessing two discs, I was concerned about my chances of winning, but I chose correctly and victory was mine. Apparently losing the game was more than the spirit of the Snow Witch could bear, and the globe shattered with her cry of defeat. Somehow evading death from the collapsing roof, we clambered out of the cavern and found ourselves outside. We had escaped!

Agreeing to accompany my friends to Stonebridge, we travelled for two days until we came to the river Kok, where we paid an indolent ferryman an exorbitant sum of money to take us across. Hiding from some passing centaurs, we soon came across an old man who charged us more money in exchange for the bad news that hill trolls were gathering near Stonebridge, and the nearby watering hole was poisoned. None of this mattered for long, however, as soon afterwards we were attacked by formidable bird-men who tore us limb from limb. Jeez.

Conclusion: Failure. This is really an epic journey. Even with great starting stats I ran out of juice before the end. All I can do is try again and hope to find something to stop the Brain Slayer slaying my brain, as the loss of 2 SKILL points really cost me.

Number of combats: 10

Attempt #6

Officially in cheat mode now. Rolling 4 dice and allocating as I see fit:

Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 16, LUCK 11

Not quite as good as last time, but if I can avoid losing SKILL I might make it further. I’ll take a potion of SKILL this time just in case.

Imagine the same story as last time, except that I took a sneaky peek at another reference and realised that had I not been carrying the war hammer I could completely avoid the encounter with the crystal warrior. This seemed rather unfair so I threw away the war hammer as the warrior approached and used the genie instead, granting me invisibility and allowing me to sneak past.

Ultimately I defeated the physical version of the Snow Witch again, and continued into the tunnels with my new-found friends. Taking a slightly different route to last time, we came to an odd stretch of tunnel floor which was covered in black and white footprints. Choosing to walk on the white ones we were battered by gigantic hailstones coming from er, upwards. This soon abated and, continuing on, we came across a (now known to be useless) circular disc which I picked up.

Continuing on, we found ourselves in a familiar tunnel, eyeing up a familiar casket and drawing straws to determine who the sucker was. This time it was Stubb, and he got himself bitten by the snake hiding within. Rather than killing it and helping ourselves to the treasure, we apologised profusely and backed away from Mr Snake, continuing down the tunnel.

Once again lacking the necessary item, my brain was, alas, slain once again by the slayer of brains, the Brain Slayer. Downing my SKILL potion and muttering to myself, we continued on. Taking a different turn again, we found a shield which was protected by an air elemental – fortunately I had read the scroll which taught me the spell to shoo it away and took the shield without incident, noting with satisfaction the extra SKILL point it provided. The shield also provided convenient protection from the dripping acid in the next chamber.

Annoyingly the SKILL point gain was counterbalanced by the Snow Witch when my attempt to smash the globe with a slingshot resulted in being struck by lightning. Grrrr. Nevertheless I defeated her zombie minions and then won her game without problems, then escaped the caverns and began the journey towards Stonebridge.

Not feeling like paying the lazy boatman again, we walked down the riverbank until we came across another boat. Waiting for its owner to arrive rather than committing needless theft, we settled down for the night. Before long I was woken by the sound of Redswift summarily gutting a dark elf with his sword. Unsure as to what his victim had done to deserve such a fate, I gleefully looted the corpse and found some kind of green potion. Taking leave of my senses I drank deeply, happily discovering it was a potion of healing. Welcome back, SKILL point! Selfishly I finished the entire thing myself, giving no thought to my companions. Soon we cooked up a delicious stew, restoring yet more health and giving me some hope of surviving the rest of the adventure. Taking the boat (murder and theft is clearly more justifiable than just theft) we made our way to to the other side of the river and continued our journey.

Ignoring an old man offering old advice for gold, we were soon set upon by the bird-men once again. This time I was able to prevail over my freakish opponent, whose friends decided we were best left alone. As we continued on, I suddenly had the realisation that I was quite thirsty and didn’t have a water bottle. Unsure as to how I didn’t notice these crucial details earlier, we soon came to a watering hole, which we ignored based on advice from an earlier life. Luckily we soon came across the corpse of a dwarf from Stonebridge, which still had a full water bottle on it. Stubb was less pleased about this for some odd reason.

Stubb had his vengeance when we spotted some trolls approaching the town of Stonebridge on the following morning. Tempted to leave him to slaughter all six of them in his berserk rage, we decided to help him out nonetheless, and it turned out we were pretty good trollslayers. Still frothing at the mouth, Stubb headed straight for the town with us staggering behind. We met his friends who informed him that their previous hammer had been stolen and it was somewhere in Darkwood Forest. Stubb then told us we were no longer welcome to stay in Stonebridge for some reason, before heading off to the forest with his friend Bigleg who I failed to recognise on account of him missing a big hole in his stomach.

Heading off once again, we managed to avoid bumping into more trolls, but I was becoming quite concerned about my diminishing LUCK supply after all these tests. This was confirmed when Redswift breezily informed me that the scroll he read in the dungeon was actually a Death Spell and we were both doomed unless we could find a person called the Healer in the Moonstone hills. Annoyed that the Death Spell not only targeted the reader of the parchment but anyone unfortunate enough to be standing nearby at the time, I attempted to carry him onward, but he selfishly passed away before we got very far, forcing me to waste more time burying him. Weakening by the moment I decided to spend some more time investigating a tree stump, which happened to be full of flesh grubs. Avoiding any contact with them, I was informed that I wasn’t going to find the Healer in a tree stump. Thanks for the clue!

Arriving at a wooden hut I had my time further wasted by a herbalist who was not the Healer, and apparently didn’t think to ask him if he had any herbs that might be useful in my current condition. Oops. Things took a turn for the better later on when I bumped into an elf named Ash who happened to be the brother of the recently deceased Redswift. Agreeing to help me find the Healer, he led me to a dangerous-looking rope bridge. Unfortunately not given an option to avoid LUCK-based activity, we made our way carefully on to the bridge. Two LUCK tests later we had barely made It across, only to be attacked shortly after by a mercifully incompetent death hawk, which had an intimate meeting with one of Ash’s arrows at the second attempt.

Ash gave me directions to the Healer and left me to continue alone, and when I came to a wooden tree house I couldn’t resist the urge to drag my rapidly weakening self up the rope ladder to investigate. Within I was set upon by a man-orc but despite my condition I dispatched him easily. Stealing his stuff, I clambered back down and continued on my way, soon coming across a sleeping barbarian. Lacking any fancy boots which would help to sneak past him (damn you, Mr Snake!) I was forced yet again into combat, again prevailing without much trouble. Putting on his armband which read “Strength is Power”, I was pleased to discover it increased my combat skill even further. A shame it didn’t say “Luck is Power”, not that it would have made any sense.

Finally coming to the Healer’s cave, I entered to find the disfigured man sitting in front of a wall covered in bizarre masks. He told me that he had only ever cured the Death Spell once and was very unlikely to be able to cure me, then handed me a mask to wear which drained more of my health, thus ensuring that he was correct. He then took me to a wide pit with a log across it, and told me to cross. Rather than provide any light, he informed me that if I brought my own light source, it would be easier. Well, duh. Increasingly unsurprised at the Healer’s track record at curing my particular condition, I lit my handy candle and stepped on to the log with trepidation. Happily the crossing was a test of my ability and not random chance, and I made it across. The next test involved walking past a screaming banshee without succumbing to the urge to shut her up. The banshee told me I was going to die, and she was probably right so it didn’t bother me much.

At last the Healer informed me that I must travel to Firetop Mountain and climb to the top before dawn, where the rising sun would finally cure me of the Death Spell. Fortunately I happened to have a silver arrowhead with which he could summon a Pegasus to transport me directly there (again I was rather unimpressed with the Healer’s preparedness for curing this condition). Riding the beast through the skies, I mentally ticked this experience off my list of “Mythical beasts to ride before you die”, doubting I would ever get to tick off “Kraken” or “Mermaid”.

Arriving at the mountaintop, I settled down for a rest, unaware that Firetop Mountain was named as such for its red grass at the peak, which happened to be sleeping grass. Soon I was in a deep slumber, unable to wake until the image of a Phoenix entered my mind. Recognising it as such, I awoke just in time for the sun to rise and cure me of my ills. Climbing carefully down the mountain (what an anticlimax that could be) I set off for Stonebridge in the hope that Stubb had not only returned from Darkwood forest already, but had for some reason been immune to the Death Spell that afflicted Redswift and I. You never know…

Conclusion: Success! And about time too.

Number of combats: 12

Review

Writing: The story starts off as a fairly standard one – lowly caravan guard sent to hunt down yeti and finds him/herself dragged into a quest to defeat an evil villain and save the world. However it doesn’t end there and if anything the adventure post-mission is longer than the mission itself. This is interesting in a way but also feels a little bit like it’s been dragged out too long into an anticlimax. However the writing itself was good enough to keep me engaged throughout, with some nice descriptive text (despite the somewhat repetitive tunnels) and some relationship building with other characters. The gratuitous references to previous books did start to get a bit grating.

Writing: 3/5

Artwork: A nicely done front cover, although perhaps slightly odd to someone who hadn’t yet read the book. The internal illustrations have a distinctive style which may not be to everyone’s tastes but I quite enjoyed some of them, the image of the Brain Slayer (grrrr!) slaying the brains of Redswift and Stubb being one of my favourites.

Artwork: 4/5

Design: This felt like an extremely long adventure – I haven’t been comparing the number of paragraphs passed through on the way to victory in each book but I suspect this is easily the longest so far. This demonstrates a degree of linearity in the book, which gives the illusion of choice many times but keeps you largely on the same track throughout. This does make the inevitable replays increasingly tiresome.

Mechanically this book is brutal, and even with a SKILL of 12 you need a certain amount of luck to get through the sheer gauntlet of combats and STAMINA loss as a result of the Death Spell. In my final attempt I was worrying about my LUCK situation near the end because despite starting with a score of 11 it had decreased to 5 and I had a vague memory of needing to pass a LUCK test to get to the top of Firetop Mountain. Fortunately I’d forgotten about the Pegasus option which allowed me to skip the dangerous climb. I did enjoy the idea that I was running out of time to get healed towards the end but I felt like I was have preferred it if the majority of STAMINA loss came from the Death Spell and not from the random encounters along the way (a SKILL 12 Bird-Man, really?)

Design: 2/5

Fairness: As mentioned, the number of combats which required god-like stats to survive makes this a book for the extremely skilled adventurer. Also the encounter with the crystal warrior seemed rather unfair, not being given the option to call the genie and skip the encounter entirely if you own a war hammer is very harsh, especially as its far from an easy fight, and never are you offered the chance to use the genie again in the book even when there are several occasions where it would have been highly useful. On another occasion I was a bit miffed when I realised that to obtain a crucial item for killing the Snow Witch I had to violently attack some of her followers without provocation (they offered me cake!), which seems a bit mean-spirited considering their situation. That said, there aren’t too many situations where a 50/50 decision leads directly to failure.

Fairness: 2/5

Cheating index: 2 Razaaks

Some stat fiddling was needed when it became obvious that the average Joe wouldn’t stand a chance. I also peeked at the relevant crystal warrior reference so I could ‘lose’ the war hammer before the encounter.

Average enemy stats

Successful path:

15 encounters, SKILL 8.1, STAMINA 7.9

Entire book:

44 encounters, SKILL 8.4, STAMINA 8.4

Instant death paragraphs: 25

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: Uh-huh. Huuuuge LIE.

Final thoughts

A decent, epic-feeling story marred by the sheer gauntlet of difficult combats and the linearity which reduces the pleasure of replays significantly. If you want to get anywhere in this book without replaying exactly the same events over and over, do yourself a favour and start with a SKILL of at least 11. I started off enjoying this one but eventually couldn’t wait for the end.

Final score: 5/10

Fighting Fantasy #8 - Scorpion Swamp

2014-08-27T14:14:00.000+01:00

Title: Scorpion Swamp

Author: Steve Jackson (USA)

Illustrator: Duncan Smith

Published: 1984

Level of previous knowledge: Ah, Scorpion Swamp. I remember this one quite well. Three wizards, three quests, a bunch of magic spells and an infinite amount of those damned irritating sword trees. If I can't manage this one it's because I did something really, really stupid. Or rolled a SKILL of 7.

Plot summary: A good deed has earned me some kind of magic ring which has an unfailing built-in compass and evil-proximity detection functionality. This is quite powerful, so the obvious thing to do is go off and die in a swamp somewhere so that the ring cannot possibly fall into the wrong hands. Also something about mapping.

Rules: This book has a magic system with three types of spell - good, evil and neutral. The spells you get to choose from depend on which wizard you decide to deal with. Despite the section in the rules called 'Stamina and Provisions' there are no provisions in this book - for some reason being able to cast spells removes the requirement to eat.

Click here to skip the adventure log

Adventure Log

Attempt #1
Stats rolled: SKILL 7, STAMINA 24, LUCK 9
I asked for that didn't I? At least with stamina like this my death will be protracted and painful.

Arriving at the small town of Fenmarge, I did what every good adventurer does and headed for the tavern. There I announced to the local population of slack-jawed yokels that I intended to explore Scorpion Swamp. At this news their jaws became slacker (four generations of inbreeding shows) and they tried to discourage me from this plan. As I turned away an Amish farmer appeared from nowhere and persuaded me that I should have some kind of quest to make entering the swamp worthwhile. I agreed to this, and started glancing around the tavern for floating yellow exclamation marks above the heads of the locals. The farmer explained that there were three wizards nearby - one good, one evil and one er, strange. I opted for the latter, in the hopes that such a wizard might not notice that I have all the combat skill of a ham sandwich.

So I sought out Poomchukker, eventually finding his house in the village market. The door was opened by a goblin serving girl. All my instincts screamed at me to turn and run from this fearsome foe, but I bravely stood my ground and was invited inside. After an attempt ro buy the ring from me which I immediately regretted refusing, the wizard explained that he wanted someone to map the route through the swamp to a town called Willowbend so that he could send caravans through. He then gave me a few spell gems to help me out, none of which looked particularly helpful against deadly sword trees.

I merrily departed the wizard's home and made my way to the swamp, where I committed another huge mistake by striding past the sign which warned me to turn back. Reaching the first clearing, I immediately tripped over a root and hurt my leg - I really wasn't cut out for this swamp stuff. Heading eastwards, I made my way to more solid ground where I was offered the opportunity to rest after my long, arduous journey so far. Tempting as it was, I decided to move on and also ignore the hollow tree in the clearing which looked certain to contain something deadly - a small badger perhaps.

From here I headed northwards, soon finding myself in a clearing covered in spider webs. Lacking any option to immediately turn and run for it, I walked into the clearing and found myself face to face with the Master of Spiders, a nasty-looking fellow with pointy ears and no access to a razor. I decided that the best course of action would be to set him on fire, and did so. He took exception to this, dying angrily before the entire clearing went up in flames while I escaped with singed eyebrows.

Running north, I arrived at a grassy clearing with no sign of spiders or evil-looking roots to cause me harm. As I paused to catch my breath I was assaulted by the grass itself. Hacking my way out with some difficulty and significant stamina loss, I limped eastwards where i encountered three odd-looking creatures which were apparently swamp orcs. "I say--" I began, before a pair of arrows were released, one of which caught my arm on the way past, making me even less skilful than I was previously. At this point I didn't like my chances of surviving any combat, so I ran for it, barging past them and not stopping until I found myself at another junction. I didn't know whether or not to be relieved that they hadn't pursued.

Heading westwards this time (this was going to be a hell of a caravan route) my brass ring started flashing and a calm voice said 'WARNING - EVIL PROXIMATE'. OK it didn't, but that would have been cool. Instead it tingled a bit, and I looked around to see a whole load of scorpions scuttling towards me. Transfixed in horror, I stood there like an idiot while the evil things crawled all over me, stinging all the way. Running off again (I should have adopted the position earlier) I headed north, arriving at a stone bridge crossing a river. Casting a stamina spell in case the bridge decided to attack me, I stepped gingerly on to it and started the crossing. Fortunately there were no nasty surprises.

On the other side of the bridge was a huge tree standing alone in the middle of a clearing. Suspiciously eyeing its branches for any signs of swords, I stopped to look upwards, spying a large nest at the top. Its owner then arrived and glared at me. I had no idea what the eagle was trying to tell me and pondered asking it for directions, but eventually thought better of it and backed westwards out of the clearing.

I stepped around a tree to meet a dwarf. Irritatingly, however, he wouldn't be much use in providing me with directions due to the giant scorpion pincers around his neck. Offered the chance to perform a heroic rescue or a cowardly retreat, I of course chose the latter, only mildly annoyed that I wasn't offered the more despicable option of waiting for the scorpion to lose interest in the dwarf's corpse and then having a good old fashioned loot.

With a cheery wave I continued northwards, turning west at a crossroads. The path turned southward, away from the direction in which I was generally trying to head, but at the junction a ball of dancing light was trying to beckon me westwards, off the main path. As tempting as this was, my innate fear of bumping into an evil television set asserted itself and I decided against entering the murky undergrowth.

Following the path southward, I found myself in a marshy clearing containing a large, fetid pool. Sighing and preparing for the worst, I approached, watching the pool and awaited the inevitable... lump of slime which heaved itself out of the pool and into my intended path. Dismissing the idea of trying to leap over it (such heroics are reserved for those with less ranks in Clumsy Foolishness) I froze it with an Ice spell, which worked remarkably well, and proceeded westwards once more, aiming a smug kick at the frozen remains on the way past.

Distracted by my own sense of not-quite-as-much-inferiority, I almost blundered into the gang of brigands up ahead. Hiding behind a benevolent-looking tree, I considered my options. Informed by the text that 'there is no need to be foolish', I figured that 'Charge out at them, shouting and waving your sword' could result in a sub-optimal outcome. I didn't want to turn back so I was left with a choice between magic or diplomacy. A glance at my character sheet and... diplomacy it is! (This assumes that evoking pity is a form of diplomacy.) Walking out to greet them, I was soon challenged by their leader. My plan had worked and they didn't feel that attacking me five-on-one was very sporting. However they seemed to believe that a fair fight with their leader was sporting - an assertion I disagreed with heartily, but went along with because it was better than the alternative. Fortunately, the fight was only to first blood and if I lost I would have to hand over something of value. Presumably my preferred solution of just handing something over without all the violence wouldn't have been sporting. Duly losing the fight, I handed over one of my spell gems and was allowed to continue on my way, after a nice cup of tea and a sit down. Spiffing chaps, these brigands.

Now heading north once more, I found myself on a progessively wider path which eventually led me to the town of Willowbend! Choosing a tavern at random, I found myself in a bedroom above the Black Bear, which was apparently an extremely popular night spot with the locals. I was offered the chance to go downstairs (presumably in my pyjamas, teddy bear in hand) and threaten an entire barful of drunken louts into jolly well keeping the noise down. Or I could just dream of being that stupid. Eventually I woke up to the sounds of the morning market, arose and left town again without so much as a spot of breakfast. Of course, now that I had the route to Willowbend mapped out I could do the sensible thing and go back around the swamp the long way, to avoid the perils within.

Or I could march straight back through like a sucker.

Fortunately the brigands remembered how pathetic I was and didn't feel like bothering me again and I continued my journey unmolested as far as the eagle's nest. Here I was told that I was really honestly quite curious about the extremely fascinating bundle of twigs in the tree above me and was offered another chance to explore the opportunity to have my eyes pecked out. Somehow resisting the temptation, I headed south until I arrived in a clearing containing hundreds of familiar-looking scorpions. They recognised me too, and swarmed towards me in the hope of seconds. A Fire spell soon taught them a lesson, and rather than hang about to make scorpion kabobs I left the clearing in a hurry.

Remembering that I was forced to run through this area of the swamp in a comical fashion because of all the mild peril, I decided to deviate slightly from the route I took on the way to Willowbend. Turning west, I entered a clearing where a man in a rather fetching hat was sat against a tree, eating cheese. He invited me to join him, but my ring warned me that his alignment did not make this a sensible plan. Choosing to pass him by but not make any attempt whatsoever to keep an eye on him, I shouldn't have been surprised when he sprang to his feet, choked me with his garrotte and robbed me blind. All I had left was a Stamina spell gem, however, and I was glad he left me with my sword, or my combat effectiveness would have descended to that of a tree stump.

The next clearing showed all the signs of a bloody battle. Now in a hurry to get out of the swamp before I encountered something deadly (a small vulture, for example), I declined the chance to wade in the gory remains looking for valuables and moved on. I then bumped into (not literally, thankfully) a wounded unicorn, which seemed up for a fight. I, on the other hand, was not, and was forced to run back the way I came. Back on my original route, I was again thwarted when I found the clearing where I met the Master of Spiders was still very much on fire. Retreating once more, I found myself in the clearing where I bravely defeated several orcs' attempt to kill me by running away from them. This time I was offered no such luxury, and I was forced into combat with all three of them at once. I managed to kill one but after five rounds I succumbed to their lesser incompetence.

Conclusion: Failure. So that's what it feels like to be the pinball...
Number of combats: 5

Attempt #2
Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 20, LUCK 10
OK, providing I don't manage to trip over and cripple myself on the way to the swamp I might stand a chance this time.

After my chat with Gronar, I decided that his strategic pause after mentioning the Good wizard was a cynical attempt to manipulate my choice. I therefore decided that I would rebelliously approach the evil wizard, Grimslade. Leaving Gronar in mid-praise of the Good wizard's animal rights record, I wandered off to the edge of town in search of a suitably forboding tower. Eventually I spotted a building displaying all the traditional staples of evilness - bats: check, heads on spikes: check, gargoyles: check, pointy towers: check. As I approached the front door it swung open, revealing the wizard himself. At this point I was seriously considering a cop-out story - something about being a humble merchant - but this idea was shattered when the wizard announced not only that he knew why i was here, but also that he believed I was a pathetic waste of space. Indignant, I challenged him to a fight. In typical evil villain style, however, he summoned a minion to take his place - in this case a stone statue of a goblin. I clubbed it to dust with a table leg, but the wizard was unimpressed by my failure to avoid injury, derided my ability and complained that I'd made rather a mess of his room. I never did have much control over my temper, so a couple of minutes later I found myself looting his skinny corpse. Happily this resulted in the discovery of a magical sword, which I immediately trusted to not be an Unholy Despicable Weapon of Ultimate Cursed Doom which would suck out and enslave my soul, and took with me. Then I scarpered, being an experienced enough adventurer to know that when you kill an evil villain, his lair/cave/castle/tower always collapses (in this case, it explodes).

Conclusion: Victory!

...no? Oh right, the swamp...

Deciding that evil wasn't so great after all, I finally succumbed to the book's urgings and visited the good wizard, Selator. Despite a rather less impressive home, Selator was apparently a wizard of significant power, at least enough that he can use a crystal ball to find a plant several miles away. My mission would be to find this plant and return with one of its berries so that he could grow many of these plants and presumably save the world with their healing powers. He gave me a selection of spell gems and sent me on my way. As I headed towards the swamp I reflected that my visit to the evil wizard's home was far more interesting.

Successfully negotiating the detestable hazard that is the 'soft part' of ground in the first clearing, I headed westwards. I soon came across a log cabin, inhabited by a large hairy man who I immediately recognised as the Master of Wolves by the amulet he wore (despite having no reason to know that the Masters wore amulets). He told me to bugger off, and I saw no reason not to comply (and a couple of growling reasons to obey).

Coming to a shallow stream containing 'movement', I was given the option of wading across, or casting spells that I didn't have. I shrugged; what kind of hardy warrior would turn back because of a little water? Splashing through the water, I attracted a few leeches which attached themselves to my legs - I assume that if I had picked up any infections from the water then the leeches took care of those for me, so the loss of a few stamina points was a good trade.

Heading northwards, I groaned as I recognised the part of the swamp I had entered. Keeping an eye on the blade-wielding branches around me, I rifled through my bag for a useful spell gem, but the only spell that may have been useful was apparently the sort of magic that only evil wizards would contemplate. Fortunately my sword arm did not let me down and I made it past the gauntlet relatively unscathed.

Feeling pleased with myself, I wandered into a clearing and found myself face-to-horn with a wounded unicorn. The daft thing was mid-charge when I cast a Bless spell, healing its wounded flank. It whinnied happily before showing me where a couple of spell gems were conveniently buried - sadly containing two spells I already had, Friendship and Luck. Still, you can never have too much of either, said the unicorn, pooping a rainbow under a tree. Feeling slightly nauseous, I continued northwards.

Eventually I found myself on a riverbank, looking across a watercourse filled with crocodiles and 'other creatures' that the crocodiles had allowed to live. Given the lack of any option to feed myself to them, I meandered along the riverbank until the ground rose some twenty metres above the water and the path petered out. I was then given the option of turning southwards away from the crocofile-infested river, or diving in and attempting to swim across (known as "dinner from above"). At this point I was reminded of the wise words of my old mentor from Adventurer School: "Don't be stupid." He said that quite often, for some reason. I waved cheerily at the sunbathing crocodiles (sunbathing, of course, despite the 'evil fog' that covers the entire swamp) and headed back to the south.

Entering a pleasant glade, I met a cheerful man I presumed to be a leprechaun, sat against a tree and enjoying a picnic. My ring buzzed on my finger and I was informed that the man was evil and a thief. Marvelling at my ring's new-found ability to discern the profession of others, I decided that I didn't want this chap potentially following me around the swamp, waiting for me to turn into a corpse, so I took the initiative and attacked him. He turned out to be tougher than the average leprechaun (or perhaps it was just a cunning disguise) but I defeated him without serious injury before stealing (I guess the correct term is looting, but I like irony) his cheese and an ostentatious red cloak.

The next clearing was scorpion HQ, where all the swamp's scorpions hang out and wait for assignment. Ready for them this time, I leapt heroically to safety and continued to the oddly-sturdy stone bridge which I crossed without incident. Beyond the bridge I came across the large tree, complete with glaring eagle. Eagles apparently don't remember adventurers who met them in past lives, so I backed away carefully.

Congratulating myself on successfully avoiding the last few obstacles, I marched confidently into the next clearing where the unfortunately dwarf was busy being pincered by a giant scorpion. At this point all common sense fled, and I waded into combat. After several painful rounds, however, I was forced to escape and leave the stout fellow to his fate as a short snack. I could almost feel Selator frowning at me from afar.

Northwards I ran, past a crossroads until I was forced to slow down by some inconsiderate boulders. Atop one of them stood a ranger - apparently I knew this because he was dressed in green, despite the fact he only had one sword and had no hood, ranged weapon or animal companion that I could see. I told him whom I served, and he suggested that I speak to the Master of Gardens, who lived nearby. I left him to his stationary ranging and followed his directions to, unsurprisingly, a lush, well-tended garden. There, the Master of Gardens greeted me and gave me further directions that would lead me to the plant I sought.

Marvelling at the prevalence of friendly people in this dark, dangerous, forboding, uninhabitable, impassable, hellhole of a place, I followed his directions until I came face-to-knee with a huge giant with Gandalf syndrome. A bit of flattery and some softly-spoken words of sympathy persuaded him to let me pass, however. It turned out that his favourite handkerchief was stolen by a thief, who was then killed by me, and now here I was with the Red Cloak of Snot Collection in my possession - what a coincidence! Warning me of wolves ahead, he left me to continue on my way. Sadly I was not offered the opportunity to use a Friendship spell to encourage him to accompany me as a personal bodyguard.

A short way to the north, I found what I was looking for, as well as the saddest excuse for a final boss ever - yes, the wolves I was warned about. One of which died before it could say 'arooo'. Dispatching the other quickly, I examined the Antherica plant to find a single berry which had implausibly avoided being eaten by the local wildlife. Stowing it carefully in my backpack (one would have thought Selator or I would have had the foresight to prepare a small lunchbox or something for this purpose), I turned and headed back southwards.

Much of this journey was uneventful - the giant had wandered off, the giant scorpion had finished his meal and nothing was left but leather armour and bones (I assume the dwarf's weapon provided chronic indigestion) and the eagle was nowhere to be seen, presumably busy glaring at something else. I leapt over the scorpions once again and found myself back in the clearing containing the thief's looted remains. From here I took a slightly different route, aware that the sword trees were waiting not far from here. Heading southwards, I walked straight past the remains of a bloody battle and into a clearing where I was forced to hack my way through the rather unfriendly grass before progressing to the next area which was the home of the Master of Spiders.

Oops, I forgot about him.

Having no Fire spells with which to cause a spider apocalypse, I was forced to fight the unpleasant fellow in melee combat. Three hits from his nasty poisonous weapon would have finished me off, but fortunately he only landed one before he fell. Grabbing his amulet caused a spark to leap from it and set fire to the whole clearing - a bit of a design flaw, that. Running for my life, I made my way back to the edge of the swamp, past the ominous-looking hollowed-out tree and the fearsome 'soft part' of ground which could well have nearly finished me off.

I emerged from the swamp, battered and exhausted, and made my way to Selator's hut where the wizard waited. He was delighted to receive the berry, even though it was a little bit squashed by the remaining spell gems I had rattling around in my backpack. I stood, slightly swaying, eagerly anticipating my grand reward. Selator gave me some healing potions (the least he could do, really) and 'a hot meal'. Grimslade at least would have given me 500 gold pieces for the amulet I brought back. I risk life and limb for a flipping BERRY, and what do I get in return? A chicken casserole.

Conclusion: Success! For what it's worth.
Number of combats: 8

Review

Writing: A very straightforward plot - no saving the world or anything like that. It seems like you're risking your life for relatively small benefits (and in my case, very small rewards). The swamp is described well enough although in many places it felt less like a dark, oppressive place and more like a romp through the forest. The book has a strong bias towards being good and doing the right thing to the point that, even if you successfully complete the 'evil' storyline, you are given a telling off and assumed to regret your actions. What if I just wanted to be plain evil?
Writing: 2/5

Artwork: The front cover leaves a lot to be desired, evoking memories of the famous Bloodbeast from Deathtrap Dungeon but nowhere near as detailed or fearsome. The interior art work is slightly better but much of it seems quite faded and there are very few pictures that show any kind of backgrounds that give any impression that you're in a dangerous swamp.
Artwork: 2/5

Design: Scorpion Swamp is unique in that it plays almost like a board game, with fixed locations that can be navigated and re-visited. This is handled quite well for the most part, with each clearing having a reference you should turn to if you have been there previously. It does fall down occasionally though, with some odd situations occuring, such as approaching a bridge from the north, then having to cross the bridge to leave northwards. The layout is fine - it doesn't map perfectly in a couple of places and it would have been nice to get some idea of how far you're travelling between clearings in these cases, but it's supposed to be difficult to navigate anyway. There isn't much to mention beyond the navigation though - some more items usable in different situations might have made things more interesting.
Design: 3/5

Fairness: All in all this doesn't seem too difficult an adventure at first, and my memories of it certainly weren't frustrating ones, but it isn't an easy as you might expect. There are a few encounters which can really cause you problems and a couple of wrong choices could make things awkward even for a highly skilled adventurer. The three quests vary slightly in difficulty but this isn't a bad thing - serving evil should probably be more stressful than doing good.
Fairness: 4/5

Cheating index: 0 Razaaks

Average enemy stats
Successful path
8 encounters, SKILL 8.3, STAMINA 9.4
Entire book
X encounters, SKILL 9.1, STAMINA 9.0

Instant death paragraphs:16 plus a few endings of dubious success

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: With the right spell gems and some prudent choices in the swamp, this may well in fact be TRUE.

Final thoughts

Scorpion Swamp won't go down as one of the great classic Fighting Fantasy gamebooks but it does deserve praise for being a little bit different. The board game-like style allows a level of non-linearity rare in gamebooks and gives the player a sense of freedom. Combined with some robust game design it could have been a real winner, however the straightforward gameplay and unexciting plot hold it back somewhat.

Final score: 5/10

Links

Titannica page
Buy Scorpion Swamp on Amazon.co.uk

Playthroughs from other bloggers

Turn to 400
Fighting Dantasy
Fighting For Your Fantasy
Adventure Gameblog
Seven Fourteen Seven
The Sidekickcast

It's About Time...

2014-08-15T15:29:00.002+01:00

In traditional blogger style, the few weeks I implied in the last post has turned into 7 and a half months. However I've finally gotten back on the FF horse and completed my Scorpion Swamp playthrough (the horse, however, did not make it). I'm on holiday for the next week but will be posting the playthrough next weekend, and making a start on Caverns of the Snow Witch soon after. If I have any followers left, thanks for your patience :)

Happy New Year!

2014-01-02T08:47:00.000+00:00

Merry 2014 everyone :) This is just a quick note to apologise to any foolhardy souls who have continued following this blog in the hope of updates. 2013 was rather a busy year, mostly because of work and the time spent on the course I was studying which has led to more responsibility at work which has meant more time spent at work, etc etc etc. Anyway, my final deadline is in 2 weeks, and after that I'm determined to get things back on track, so expect to read all about my misadventures in a swamp some time soon!

Fighting Fantasy #7 - Island of the Lizard King

2013-02-06T21:48:00.001+00:00

Title: Island of the Lizard King

Author: Ian Livingstone

Illustrator: Alan Langford (interior), Iain McCaig (cover)

Published: 1984

Level of previous knowledge: There's this lizard, right, and... erm, he's a king of some island or something. I remember surprisingly little considering that I recall quite enjoying this one. Of course I remember a certain ill-fated companion called Mungo :)

Plot summary: There's this lizard, right, and he has proclaimed himself king of Fire Island. Frankly he's welcome to it, but his minions have started to raid the villages of civilised people and enlist them into slavery in the gold mines. The Lizard King clearly needs a good slapping, and Mungo is the man to do it. I've decided to go along and watch, though.

Rules: Normal stats, check; ten provisions, check; inexplicable free potion; check. Nothing unusual here.

Click here to skip the adventure log

Adventure Log

Attempt #1
Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 19, LUCK 12

Mungo and I did some catch-up bonding on the boat as we sailed the short distance to Fire Island, and I learned more about his family than I was really interested in. Apparently his father was a circus freak who committed suicide via the medium of Deathtrap Dungeon (good fighter, couldn't tell the difference between a real emerald and a fake one? I know the chap). I soon found myself hoping that Mungo did not inherit his father's sense of adventure. After all, it would be a disaster if he got himself killed early on, wouldn't it?

'Land ahoy!' yelled Mungo, somewhat unnecessarily, pointing at the ever-nearing island with a great big volcano poking out of it. Checking my, err Mungo's, provisions, I put on Mungo's backpack and prepared to follow him like the dutiful companion I was. Disembarking, I was surprised to be given the choice of which direction to clamber. Surely Mungo, the hero of the story, should be making these decisions! Respectfully steering him to the west, we emerged on a beach upon which sat a tiny hut. Musing on the subject of deck chairs I was taken aback when I heard a cry of pain and looked up to see Mungo playing with a crab the size of a house. From his advantageous position within one of the creature's pincers, Mungo looked like he had everything under control, but I thought I should show willing and wandered over to help out. Mungo dropped agilely to the ground and laid down to watch the fight, a master confident in his protege's abilities.

The crab soon went down, but not without snipping away half of my health first. Disgruntled, I turned to Mungo to demand why he did not simply slay the creature instead of toying with it. Then I noticed that his body looked slightly more crushed than usual, and it struck me that all that blood should probably have been inside his skin. He said a few heroic last words before expiring in front of me, leaving me with the task of killing the Lizard King all on my own. Selfish bastard.

The hut proved a disappointment but a thorough search turned up a jug accompanied by a note recommending the potion within as some kind of protection against poisonous plants. Knocking it back, I left the hut and followed a goat track up the side of the cliff. Gasping for breath, I made it to the top and drank most of my water on the spot, before noting that I was low on water. Did I not think of this before? Wouldn't it have been prudent to bring more than one flask? Did I bury Mungo's supply with his unhelpful remains? I'll never know.

Now that I'd arrived on the island proper, I decided to set up camp for the night. Either we timed our arrival perfectly to experience an unnecessary night in the jungle or it took all day to kill a crab and walk up a path. I survived the horrors of the night, however, and in the morning headed directly through the trees towards the volcano. Almost immediately I was given the opportunity to rest, which I accepted gratefully - all those minutes of leisurely hiking through the jungle had really taken it out of me. Unfortunately the tree I leaned against had other ideas, and tried to choke me with its vines. I struggled free, but not without suffering the effects of a minor throttling, i.e. minus 1 SKILL point.

Deep in the undergrowth I had the misfortune to meet several of the locals, fellows with an unpleasant hobby of collecting and wearing the heads of their previous victims. Happily they lined up to fight me one at a time, and I was able to keep my head. Ahahaha. Their bag of bananas and coconuts restored a single STAMINA point, making me wonder what sort of superfoods were present in my own, much more effective, provisions. Climbing a tree, I spotted what I believed to be the headhunters' village to the west. Choosing a life unhindered by shrunken head-wearing freaks, I took a route which avoided the village altogether.

Soon I came across a crazy man who lived in a tree. He took objection to my offer to visit him, but I insisted despite the barrage of coconuts he launched at me. He then gave me a whole load of information about the island and the lizard men, offering more if I was willing to hand over some of my provisions. I almost asked why he was so happy to throw away his collection of coconuts if he was struggling for food, but then I remembered how nutritious the food on this island wasn't. He also gave me a bent wire with which I was supposed to stab the Lizard King. Or something.

After a brief altercation with a giant dragonfly I spotted some fungus attached to a log. Breaking some off, I created a cloud of spores which made my face all lumpy. This reminded me of my resolution never to eat anything mushroom-like in a Fighting Fantasy adventure, so I quickly discarded the fungus, opting instead to rub some random nearby leaves on my face. Contrary to common sense, this actually improved the situation and my face was soon back to normal. Moving on, I encountered a strange crystal in the middle of a clearing. Continuing with my dangerous habit of investigating the unknown (except mushrooms) I touched the pretty rock and received a health boost.

Hacking my way through the vegetation, I managed to attract the attention of six more locals. These pygmies did not share the repulsive habit of wearing shrunken heads on their belts; however they did have blowpipes aimed at me. Missing the option to run for it, I chose to attempt communication rather than combat, and found them to be surprisingly un-hostile, merely expecting me to hand over one of my possessions. Or at least that was the general drift I inferred from the grunting. Giving them an axe I picked up somewhere, I was surprised when they gathered around it and starting chanting. Obviously this axe was of great value, and I had just given it away. Prodding the nearest pygmy, I made the universal motion for "give me stuff or I'll destroy you and everything you hold dear". He forked over some nuts and berries, which were obviously genetically modified as they were twice as nutritious as the bag of bananas consumed earlier.

Deep in the swamp I encountered a strange green reptilian creature. Rather than simply ignoring it or slaying it for the evil lizard man-thing that it was, I decided to call out to it. I then realised it was a marsh hopper, a creature which would know its way through the marsh, but was also likely to lead me to its bigger, man-eating colleagues. I followed it for some distance but when it changed direction I became suspicious and went my own way... straight into an area populated by giant leeches. I was forced to use salt from my provisions to remove them from my skin - sadly I must have dropped the rest of the meal into the swamp and was unable to gain any further benefit from it.

Eventually the swamp gave way to grassy hills and after dodging a suspiciously well-timed rockfall, came across an ominous sign reading 'Turn back or die'. Declining to take either option, I found a snuff box half-buried in the sand. Inside was a note written by one of the slaves, directing me to his hidden raft and giving me directions to the mines. Soon afterwards I was attacked by a random lizard, which steadfastly refused to lead me anywhere and insisted on gnawing on me for a bit. Eventually I tired of this and chopped its head off, continuing on to a pond where a random toad tried to gnaw on me. The toad kept his loot in a casket at the bottom of the pond, so I waded manfully in to retrieve it. Inside I found some kind of inter-dimensional bag, some boots and a ring of oops-I-dropped-my-sword. Muttering under my breath, I downed the skill potion I had brought along for such an occasion.

I soon came to a river and found the raft that the snuff box-owning note-writing mine-slaving chap had informed me about. Punting upriver, I saw off a crocodile which tried to hitch a lift, then ignored a crazy-looking man who was also trying to hitch a lift by jumping up and down and waving his arms around. Eventually I arrived at my destination and ditched the raft by a group of mud huts. Channeling my inner ninja, I swiftly dealt with a pair of lizard men (so *that's* what they look like) and headed into the mines. Within minutes I was lost, taking one random turning after another. At one point I was assaulted by a crowd of angry armadillos, but their combat prowess proved insufficient to prevent my progress.

At length I arrived at a vertical shaft and immediately considered turning back, but then remembered that I was wearing a pair of nondescript boots. In a flash of absolute genius, I decided to walk down the wall of the shaft, in the hope that my boots just happened to be enchanted with some kind of walking-on-shaft-walls spell. And they were! Brilliant. At the bottom of the shaft I found an extremely shiny sword. Tossing my old one noisily down the shaft (let's not attract unnecessary attention or anything, eh) I returned to the previous junction and wandered about in a lost fashion for a further while. After hiding from a couple of patrol guards, I bashed another one over the head and took his bucket of water. I soon arrived in a chamber containing six dwarf slaves toiling at the rock face (obviously Happy was on a break) accompanied by a whip-waving lizard man who was not as pretty as I might have expected. Carefully setting the bucket down I charged at the creature, and eventually the dwarfs decided that hammering lizard man skull was more fun than hammering rock.

Disguising myself with the lizard man's cloak, I followed the dwarfs deeper into the tunnels, where we soon came across another lizard man. My cunning disguise fooled him into believing I was a member of his species, and we passed without incident. Eventually we turned a corner and found a group of slaves and a pair of orc overseers. I didn't have long to ponder why orcs were allowed more rights under the lizard man regime than better-looking humanoids before one of them hurled himself on to the point of my very shiny sword. I led the slaves out of the mine and back to the mud huts where we partied long into the night and planned our assault on the Lizard King's fortress. One of the slaves took me to one side and informed me that the Lizard King was virtually invincible due to a strange parasitic creature sitting on his head called a Gonchong, and therefore such an assault would be suicide. he advised me to seek out the island's shaman who could apparently help me out.

So off I went. Having no idea where the shaman might be, I headed for the volcano which may as well have had 'Chez Shaman' written all over it. Avoiding an overly-tempting fruit tree, I opted instead to investigate a sack of food hanging from the next tree. Sitting down for an impromptu meal I was soon forced to earn my lunch when a bear lumbered out of the undergrowth and demanded that I share. I declined, things got messy and I ended up with a chewy steak on the side. Moving on, I came across some chalk writing on a rock which advised that a feather worn in my hair would ensure peaceful contact with the shaman. At least I was on the right track - part of me was thinking how hilarious it would be if the shaman lived on a beach at the other end of the island, keeping a giant crab for company.

Pausing briefly to dispatch an angry hill troll, I soon noticed a dead seagull on the ground. Plucking a feather and tying it to my hair I thought that the convenience of this find was more than outweighed by the fact that I now felt like a bit of a tit. Still, it could have been worse. Further up the hill I was attached by Racquel Welch, who fortunately proved to be a lousy shot with a spear and an even lousier melee fighter. In her cave I found some red powder, which I did not hesitate to... dab on my face? As I did so a mysterious internal voice told me that the powder would protect me from attempts to control my mind. I replied that I suspected it would also protect me from any sensible person trying to engage me in conversation.

Eventually arriving at the foot of the volcano, I came to a pool of disgusting yellow mud and thought it would be a great idea to interfere with some odd-looking eggs in a bizarre-looking nest beside it. I should not have been surprised when a bizarre-looking odd creature broke out of one of the eggs and launched itself at my neck in a frightening display of rapid early learning. Ending its short, violent life, I proceeded to climb the volcano. Before long I came to a circle of stones, within which were placed several items of useless-looking items. Here I was offered the chance to place one of my own items in the circle, or to try to remove one of the existing items. Lacking any option to ignore the circle altogether, I deposited some junk and some apparently magical rocks started glowing, leading the way onwards.

Before I knew it I was face to face with the shaman, who barely contained his snigger at my appearance. Bloody hypocrite. He told me that in order to share his knowledge of how to defeat the Lizard King and his Gonchong, I would have to undergo disturbing and painful challenges. "Bugger that", I said, and turned to leave. "They're easy really" said the shaman. Still suspicious that he was going to force me into combat with some twisted zombie resurrection of Mungo, I reluctantly agreed. First I opted for the revulsion test, figuring that the encounters on my journey so far would have desensitised me somewhat. Seconds later maggots were crawling all over me, but unknown to me (but now known to me) the ring of oops-I-stabbed-myself I was still wearing (damn Loctite) gave the wearer the ability to see through illusions. The maggots disappeared, and I grinned smugly (and confusedly) at the shaman. The second test was a test of fear, which the red powder on my face enabled me to pass. Lastly I endured the painful and disturbing task of throwing a dagger into an orange, and this convinced the shaman that I was worthy of his knowledge. I would require two things to defeat the Lizard King - one of his own fire swords (disguised as rusty knives) that he kept close by in order to give potential usurpers a fair fight, and a monkey, which he didn't.

Heading back whence I came, I bluffed my way past a hobgoblin who was inexplicably guarding a bridge across a ravine, before bumping into a lizard man riding a dinosaur which was unbluffable, inescapable, and very nearly undefeatable. My shiny sword prevailed, however, and I was then forced to fight the lizard man, who fared no better against me than did his mount. As my reward, a short time later the gods of served up another platter of convenience when I came across a monkey, chained to the corpse of its previous owner. I set it free and it perched on my shoulder rather than rushing off to its natural habitat or something silly like that. After a brief, awkward meeting with Racquel Welch's sister and her pet cat, I was reunited with my army of ex-slaves.

Several minutes passed while I hastily explained the presence of the monkey, the seagull feather and my somewhat flushed appearance. Eventually I managed to persuade them to march on the Lizard King's fort. Battle was joined. We got our butts kicked for a while before I managed to poke a cyclops in the eye and break through the enemy lines into the fort. Inside I found an old man chained in a prison cell, but before I could free him my ring of oops-was-that-your-eye? buzzed and warned me, quite specifically, that the old man was in fact a shapechanger. I dashed out of the cell and tried another door. I entered a torture chamber, full of nasty sharp looking things, among which were some rusty knives. Heeding the finally-useful words of the shaman, I grabbed one of the latter and it transformed into one of the Lizard King's fire swords.

Fully equipped, I continued through the fort, rescuing a slave dwarf from a two-headed lizard man by employing some l33t ninja skills. Soon I found myself at a spiral staircase, which I 'had a feeling' I should climb. At the top I emerged on to a balcony overlooking the battlefield, and found the oddly-guilty-looking Lizard King himself and his pet. The black lion shredded me generously before I put him down, and I staggered towards the scaly monarch. Then he spotted the monkey on my shoulder and a puddle started to form at his feet. Taking advantage of the creature's maimouphobia, I had no trouble cutting him down. As soon as he crashed to the floor, I destroyed the Gonchong before it could get up to any more mischief. The battle was won!

Conclusion: Success!
Number of combats: 20

Review

Writing: Following on from the success of Deathtrap Dungeon, this is another well-written entry to the Fighting Fantasy series. This is perhaps the first book where you feel that the main character has a bit of a background, with connections that exist previous to the events of the book. The author does a good job of making you feel attached to Mungo in a very short time, before taking him out of the picture quite abruptly, which is a shame. The environment is nicely described in detail but does feel a bit samey at times. On the whole, the story is an interesting one, but not really exploited as much as it could have been, with most of the book devoted to simply travelling around the island.
Writing: 3/5

Artwork: Another fantastic front cover by Iain McCaig sets the tone for the book perfectly. The internal illustrations are very good, capturing the tropical feel of the island perfectly, and the monsters encountered along the way are extremely detailed.
Artwork: 4/5

Design: This adventure is a fairly linear one. There are alternative paths to take on a few occasions, but more often than not they end up merging again before long. The main problem is, whichever path you take the encounters seem to be selected from a random encounter table - enemy after enemy is thrown at you with no sense of progress or cohesion. Clues and items are presented to you without requiring any effort to find them, and even if you somehow miss them, most of them aren't actually important anyway. It's obvious that Ian Livingstone has attempted to do things a bit differently compared to his last two books in that there is no 'shopping list' and no one true path, but this one somehow lacks urgency or direction.
Design: 1/5

Fairness: In terms of the structure of the adventure there is nothing too difficult here - anyone playing sans dice would waltz straight through the adventure without any problems. It's a different story with dice however - a low-skilled character is unlikely to make it past the 5th paragraph or so, and a couple of unavoidable SKILL 11 opponents towards the end will prove a tough challenge for all but those with the most impressive numbers. A SKILL of 10 was just enough to get me through first time when applying combat bonuses to attack strength rather than SKILL.
Fairness: 2/5

Cheating index: 0 Razaaks

Average enemy stats
Successful path
23 encounters, SKILL 7.5, STAMINA 7.6
Entire book
69 encounters, SKILL 7.5, STAMINA 7.2

Instant death paragraphs: 9

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: This is an outrageous LIE.

Final thoughts

I enjoyed my romp across Fire Island but it all felt a little bit straightforward. The difficulty is both too low in terms of finding your way through the book and too high in terms of unavoidable combats. You are not required to achieve anything in order to win - even the shaman's tests are almost irrelevant because the items he tells you to find are easily found along the way. Nevertheless the adventure is fun, but doesn't necessarily have much in the way of replay value.

Final score: 5/10

Links

Titannica page
Buy Island of the Lizard King on Amazon.co.uk

Playthroughs from other bloggers

Turn to 400
Fighting Dantasy
Fighting For Your Fantasy
Adventure Gameblog
Seven Fourteen Seven
The Sidekickcast

Fighting Fantasy #6 - Deathtrap Dungeon

2012-11-17T14:16:00.000+00:00

Firstly I'd like to show off the fact that my battered copy of Deathtrap Dungeon was signed by Ian Livingstone himself a few months ago. So nyeh. Whether this is a good omen for the adventure ahead, I do not know...

Title: Deathtrap Dungeon

Author: Ian Livingstone

Illustrator: Ian McCaig

Published: 1984

Level of previous knowledge: Sketchy. I do remember a ninja, a barbarian companion and having to collect gems. And of course the happy little fellow on the front cover.

Plot summary: Once a year the town of Fang is host to the Trial of Champions. Warriors from all over the lands come to enter Deathtrap Dungeon, a maze conceived by the twisted mind of Baron Sukumvit. No-one has ever survived the journey through the dungeon to claim the prize, but this year I have decided that I'll give it a shot.

Rules: Standard rules.

Click here to skip the adventure log

Adventure Log

Attempt #1
Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 23, LUCK 12 (Yep, really. If I was going to cheat on my stats, I'd do it after I'd worked out the correct route!)

Taking time out from my regular superhero duties, I stroll casually into the dungeon without fear...

Making my way confidently down the tunnel, I soon came to a stone table upon which were six boxes, each with a contestant's name on it. I opened the box with my name on to find two gold pieces and a warning from Baron Sukumvit that I would need to find certain items to get through the dungeon. Already knowing the author of the book, this came as no surprise. Sadly there was no option to open the other boxes and check them for gold - to be honest I wondered why the other contestants hadn't taken it all. Although maybe there were more than two gold pieces in the box originally? Curse you, other contestants!

Beyond the table was a junction. Aware that this decision would likely determine whether I stood any chance of success or not, I completely ignored the white arrow on the wall which pointed west, and chose the other direction. That'll show em. Judging from footprints on the ground, only one of the previous four contestants went this way, and I followed the tracks until I encountered a large, spongy, brown boulder. Consulting the adventurer's handbook on how to deal with large spongy things, I discovered that it could either swallow me up on physical contact, or explode violently if I pierced it with a weapon, so I looked for an option that involved doing neither of these things. Doh. Clambering gracelessly on to the boulder, expecting to be pulled in and suffocated at any moment, I was relieved to make it to the other side unharmed.

Soon the atmosphere in the tunnel started to become extremely hot. Finding a bamboo pipe on the wall, I examined it to find it filled with a clear liquid. Shrugging at what was probably another 50/50 chance of death, I took the risk and swallowed the liquid. Failing to drop dead on the spot, I continued on through the extreme temperature, and was informed that my choice had kept me alive. I preferred to believe that my superhero powers were responsible.

Coming to a door with an iron plate, I peered through to see a pit, beyond which was a rope on an iron hook. Entering the room, I bounded heroically across the pit, grabbed the rope and bounded heroically back across the pit before the wall grew spikes or the ceiling fell in. Suspiciously no such calamity occured, so I checked the rope for hidden weakness. Finding none, I crept out of the room, feeling like I'd beaten the system somehow. Maybe the pit was a trap and had already been set off by the owner of the footprints.

Lost in thought, I turned a corner and blundered into a pair of heavily-armed orcs, one of whom swung a morning star at me, knocking my sword to the ground. Unarmed, I pummelled the orcs into submission, and looted the corpses for a gold piece and a wooden tube. Weapons, who needs em? I will. Sadly I was unable to pick up the morning star, so retrieved my sword and contiued on.

The footprints led towards another door ahead, where they stopped abruptly. Opening the door carefully, I was greeted by the sight of a dead barbarian, impaled upon a spike trap. Gingerly making my way over to him, I searched his... loincloth, and found some dried meat which I chewed thoughtfully on. The trap was guarding a goblet containing a sparkling red liquid. Having already consumed two things in this dungeon and gotten away with it, I didn't feel like pushing my luck any further, and gave the drink a miss.

My route soon rejoined that of the other contestants, and I followed their footprints into a large cavern. In its centre were two stuffed bird-like creatures flanking a huge idol with jewelled eyes. Entranced by their glitteringness, I made a lasso with my rope, hurled it around the idol's neck and started to climb. Eyeing the birdies suspiciously, I reached the top and attempted to prise out one of the jewels. Obviously I was a poor judge of genuine precious stones - the 'emerald' shattered and released poisonous gas into my face, knocking me out. Not so bad, except for the fact that I was hanging off a rope six metres off the ground. Bounce, bounce, crunch. So long, superhero.

Conclusion: Failure. I fell foul of a classic 50/50 decision. Maybe I was fortunate to get as far as I did.

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #2
Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 20, LUCK 9
Just a regular Joe this time - this might be a short trip.

Walking down the tunnel somewhat less confidently than my previous incarnation, I opened the box for the gold pieces and chose the other direction at the junction, following the three sets of footprints. Choosing randomly at the next junction I eventually encountered an unfriendly caveman who I named Ishbo. Despite conforming perfectly to caveman stereotypes (club - check, animal hides - check, grunt grunt spit - check) Ishbo did not survive our meeting, but he did manage to give me a minor clubbing for my trouble. Dismissing a bracelet made from rat skulls I found on his corpse (maybe it was a Bracelet of Devolution?) I nursed my wounds and continued along the tunnel.

Soon I spotted an abandoned backpack leaning nonchalantly against the wall. Not pausing to wonder why it was left here, I decided to have a quick rifle through it, being rewarded for my greed by a single gold piece and a bite from a nasty great big dirty poisonous spider, draining 6 STAMINA points. Ow, said I. I'll have a SKILL point too, said the spider. Grrrr.

Ignoring a couple of side tunnels (Who has time for those? It's not like I've been told I need to find and use several items if I hope to pass triumphantly through Deathtrap Dungeon) I found myself in a familiar chamber containing the jewel-eyed idol and the mangled corpse of my former self. Clearly not having learned my lesson, I attempted the climb again, this time without a rope. I was lucky enough to make it to the top, and strained to remember which eye was the fake that caused my demise last time. As I touched the other eye, two flying guardian bird-type things flapped towards me and attempted to peck my eyes out. Despite my precarious position I was able to fend them off, at the cost of merely all but 2 STAMINA points. Before doing anything else I had a large picnic on the idol's head, then prised out the emerald. Ignoring the other one, I descended acrobatically and entered the tunnel once more.

The next room I entered was completely bare. Suspecting a trap, I turned to leave but the door slammed shut. A voice then boomed out, demanding that I pay my respects to the dungeon's creator. Not expecting to survive much longer anyway, I responded that Sukumvit was a worm, and was surprised when the voice approved of my spirit. A gold ring magically appeared, which I picked up and wore immediately, without any suspicion whatsoever.

Further along the tunnel, I saw a shaft of blue light with images of laughing faces. Shrugging, I walked straight into it, causing the faces to look a bit upset. One of them whispered a poem about jumping into some water later on if I wanted to get through the dungeon, so I made a mental note of it and moved on.

Coming to another side door, I pushed it open and found myself in a cavern containing a pit of worms, wriggling around a fancy-looking dagger. Worms are harmless, right? Right. Lacking the option to hack at the worms with my sword, I reached in and retrieved the dagger without incident. That is, until a giant fly with a penchant for shiny blades attacked me for stealing its most prized possession. I showed it my own shiny blade, and it duly collapsed into a slimy, twitching heap.

The next junction offered no clues as to what might lie in each direction, so I flipped a gold piece and went eastwards. I soon came to a pit with a rope hanging from the ceiling. Deciding on the sensible option, I reached for the rope, had a quick check for any scheming bats, took a run up and leapt across. Unfortunately some dastard had sabotaged the rope, so I was soon on a short trip to the bottom of the pit, where I thankfully arrived fairly quickly, at the cost of a mere 2 STAMINA points. Oof, said I. And a SKILL point, said the floor. Argh.

Clambering out of the pit with a smooth rock in hand which turned out to be a ruby (score!) I continued on my way, whistling happily as I went. I may only have a SKILL of 7, but it wasn't like this book was going to contain any really hard fights, was it?

In the next room a crazy old man demanded that I answer his question correctly or be turned to stone. Knowing that it was certain death to attack anyone in lieu of answering a riddle, I reluctantly agreed. Fortunately the question was simple maths, and my hours of counting my decreasing STAMINA stood me in good stead. As a reward he restored a few of my stat points, including one of the SKILL points I had lost.

Further down the tunnel I entered another room containing a stone chair, upon which was seated an armed skeleton holding a piece of parchment. Cringing at the obvious trap, but apparently not thinking to try to disarm or otherwise get the jump on the skeleton before it stirred into motion, I reached for the parchment like a moron and ended up in a fair fight with the creature. Fortunately I only took minor wounds before I was standing amidst a pile of bones. The parchment seemed to be a page from an ancient manticore safety manual, so I held on to it, just in case.

I descended some stairs into a cellar, where I was offered the appealing chance of eating some mushrooms growing in a pile of rubbish. Sticking to my rule of never eating mushrooms in a Fighting Fantasy book (at least one named like this one) I ignored them and continued along the tunnel until I came to a trapdoor in the ceiling, behind which I could hear muffled voices. Assuming this was still Deathtrap Dungeon and not the cellar of The Staggering Foal, I deduced that the owners of the voices were unlikely to be friendly, so burst enthusiastically through the trapdoor to meet them. I cut down the two goblins in no time and had a quick rummage in their cupboards. I found nothing but a wooden mallet and some iron spikes, which I put in my backpack in case the Trial of Champions would ever require me to hang an exceptionally large picture frame.

Leaving through a door chosen by coin flippage, I came to a door decorated with someone's severed hand. Wondering if this was some form of goblinesque feng shui, I opened the door with caution, to find the hand's previous owner chained to the wall. I obliged his request to set him free, and he helpfully informed me that I would need to collect gems and precious stones if I wanted to succeed in my quest. I felt fairly positive about this, with two already in my possession. With that, he ran off to get himself killed in the dungeon somewhere.

Not far along the tunnel I was offered the chance to enter a metre-wide steel pipe in the wall. Unable to resist the golden opportunity to make myself as vulnerable as possible, I crawled into the dark, cramped space. After dragging myself along in an undignified fashion for a while I was informed that the pipe was also slimy. Ew! Reconsidering my direction, I quickly backed out of the pipe, grabbing a small wooden box on the way. The box contained a key and a sapphire, which was almost worth getting covered in goo for.

Squelching onwards, I soon came across the corpse of two orc guards, apparently slain by one of the other contestants. One of the orcs was wearing a necklace made from teeth, which I ignored - it was probably a Necklace of Extra Slobber or something. I soon had the pleasure of meeting their slayer, a taciturn fellow sporting a large axe and not much else - a key indication of barbarianism. Barbarism. Barbadarianism. Translating his occasional grunts, I agreed to accompany him for the time being.

Our fragile alliance was soon tested when we came across a wide pit, into which my companion, who was called Throm, offered to lower me with his rope. Judging him to be a straightforward kind of fellow who would have hacked off my head by now if he had a mind to, I trusted him to do this. Reaching the bottom at a non-fatal speed, I discovered a tunnel leading onwards and the barbarian climbed down to join me. Inside the tunnel was a shelf upon which sat two leather-bound books. The first fell apart in my hands but provided me with some information about the attractive creature on the front cover of the book, the Bloodbeast. The other book contained a bottle of liquid, which I decided looked like massage oil. I rubbed it into my wounds enthusiastically, but was disappointed when nothing happened. Shrugging at the barbarian, who was clearly starting to doubt my sanity, I led the way down the tunnel.

Throm soon drew us to a halt, sensing the approach of a pair of cave trolls. We hid in the shadows and I was about to suggest some kind of trickery to give us the upper hand when he leapt up and charged them. Sighing, I followed him into combat, and received a severe bashing for my trouble, barely surviving the fight. We found a ring on one of the corpses, which Throm told me would increase the wearer's powers if he proved strong enough to wear it. He also warned me not to touch it, which I took as a veiled insult, and smugly put the ring on my finger. That'd show him. Seconds later my body started to shake and I passed out manfully. I came to when Throm removed the ring from my finger, crushed it under his boot and grunted in disapproval. My grunt translator beeped and said 'southern softy'.

I staggered after Throm and we entered a cavern full of stalactites. Throm had an encounter with a resident mouse which he decided was hilarious and his booming laughter brought half of the ceiling down. Fortunately we were able to dash through the archway without injury before I gave him a good telling off.

Our next encounter was not so amusing. We entered a torchlit chamber to find a dwarf Trialmaster awaiting our arrival. He informed us that only one of us would be allowed to pass this point and this would be determined by a series of tests. Throm was all for squashing him there and then, and part of me agreed, but the meta-part of me that knows Ian Livingstone decided that this was probably a poor idea. I succeeded at a guessing game, then grabbed a cobra by the throat without injury. For the final test, I was given a couple of anagrams and told that each corresponded to the name of a monster. Choosing to fight the minotaur, I was soon made to regret my choice as it battered me to a pulp.

Conclusion: Failure. I made it much further than I expected with a SKILL of 9 though.

Number of combats: 9

Attempt #3
Stats rolled: SKILL 7, STAMINA 17, LUCK 11
These stats are a contradiction. Surely no-one this lucky would have both a SKILL of 7 and an irresistable compulsion to explore a deadly dungeon.

As my fate was already sealed by the first die roll, I resolved that during this attempt I would explore new routes where possible, and avoid combat as much as I could. With that in mind I took a different tunnel, and eventually came across a large iron bell, suspended from the ceiling. Wondering if it would summon a very large, helpful butler, I decided to give it a ring. The resulting bong caused the whole area to vibrate intensely, and I soon collapsed to the ground and wriggled about a bit. I lost 2 SKILL points before I was able to still the bell, making me approximately as skilled in combat as a three-legged weasel.

Further into the dungeon I encountered a pair of hobgoblins having a scrap in the middle of the tunnel. Rather than risk attracting their attention, I slipped past stealthily. After a sharp right turn the tunnel led to a series of wooden poles positioned across the tunnel, half a metre from the ground. Deciding to walk across the top of them, I was unsurprised when one shattered and sent splinters flying everywhere. 9 STAMINA points worth of splinters.

Irritated, I limped onwards to find myself in the chamber with the large statue, complete with guardians. Deciding the climb was pointless to attempt, I passed by, giving one of the immobile guardians a pat on the head as I did so. Soon after I declined the chance to fight a giant fly, some kind of giant worm, and an animated skeleton. In the mean time I managed to drop my shield into a pit after an extremely girly attempt to throw it across, costing me yet another SKILL point. Make that a one-legged weasel.

Eventually I arrived at the stone steps with a trapdoor at the top. Bursting through with my sword drawn would force me into a combat I had little chance of winning, so I decided on the diplomatic approach. Smoothing my hair back, I knocked politely on the trapdoor and waited. The trapdoor was thrown open and before I could say "Rat onna stick?" a goblin thrust a spear through my neck and my trial was over. Still, I avoided combat successfully...

Conclusion: Failure. Obviously.

Number of combats: 0

Attempt #4
Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 20, LUCK 7
That will be a Potion of Fortune then.

All went smoothly through the first part of the dungeon and I was able to retrieve the emerald from the statue with only a minor scratch from the annoying guardians. I drank my potion of fortune fairly early on, just before attempting to jump over the pit without throwing my gear into it first. I avenged my previous incaration by enthusiastically hacking up the pair of goblins, and continued until I had met my barbarian friend Throm and progressed as far as the dwarf Trialmaster's chamber.

This time I failed at the dice game, and was forced to swallow a pill that turned me from slightly ill-fated to haplessly cursed. I fared better with the minotaur this time, and was allowed some time to recover before the final test. This was yet another combat, but this time I had to face Throm, who had apparently reacted badly to being bitten by the cobra in the second test and was now a delirious wreck. Despite this he managed to 'axe' some questions of my ability (huh? huh?) before I reluctantly put him down. The dwarf then showed up, crossbow aimed at my chest, and led me to a secret door leading onwards. Glaring at him coldly but thinking better of attacking a Trialmaster, I entered the tunnel.

Arriving at a junction, I headed towards a buzzing noise until I discovered its source - a large room full of giant insects, walled off by a large glass panel. In the middle of the room was a crown, in which was set a large diamond. Lacking any pesticide or means of covering up a bit (the option of wearing my backpack on my head was not, sadly, offered) I smashed the glass, waded into the room and retrieved the crown. By the time I escaped the room I had realised that the diamond was fake and I was in serious need of some Afterbite. I really didn't prepare well for this venture, did I?

Scratching furiously, I soon heard some footsteps approaching. Not wanting anyone to see me with large red welts forming on my face, I hid in the shadows while whoever it was shuffled past. Choosing randomly at the next junction, I came across a wooden chair shaped like a bird of prey, set into the wall. Usually I wouldn't even consider such a thing, but I was really itchy by this point and needed to pause for a good old scratch. Besides, a chair that has death practically written all over it wouldn't be particularly cunning, would it? Sitting down carefully, I gripped the arms in gruesome anticipation. All that happened was that a hidden panel sprang open, revealing a potion, helpfully labelled 'Doppelganger Potion'. Or was it Poison?

Beyond the chair the tunnel sloped downwards until it ended at a deep pool of water. Remembering the poem recited by the spirit girl some time ago, I fished around in my backpack for my diving gear. D'oh - I forgot that too! Nevertheless I swam down into the pool, eventually emerging on the other side of the wall. I then realised that I hadn't closed my lunchbox properly and all of my sandwiches were completely ruined.

Immediately feeling peckish, I continued on until I came to a cavern, in which a girl was wrestling with a giant snake. Racing to her aid, I heroically beheaded the creature but was too late to save her life. She gave me a couple of helpful pointers before expiring so I could loot her corpse in peace. Quite how she'd managed to accumulate so little on her journey through a dungeon packed with free stuff I didn't know, but at least she had some bread. And she'd remembered to close her lunchbox. Om nom nom. I buried her underneath a handy snake corpse and went on my way.

Coming to an iron grille in the floor, I reached in to retrieve a rope and grapple underneath. One thing I remembered from adventurer school is that you are often required to reach into things. One thing I forgot was that reaching into things often resulting in finding other things. In this case a large tentacle attached itself to my arm and crushed it comprehensively for 3 SKILL points of damage. That reminded me belatedly of another lesson I had forgotten - never reach into things with your sword arm. Idiot.

The next room I entered contained a wooden chest and footprints showing that someone had recently approached it. Expecting it to be looted (and therefore untrapped) already, I approached, only for my spidey-senses to start tingling. The potion I drank earlier enabled me to sense the trap still within the chest. Opening it from a distance, I avoided the poisonous gas but also avoided finding anything useful, only a pendant chain with a missing stone. Curse you, other contestant!

Continuing down the tunnel I soon came to a cavern containing a large number of troglodytes. Drinking my Doppelganger potion to disguise me as one of them (I couldn't help but feel that disguising as Baron Sukumvit might be more useful) I was able to walk past them, but the effects soon wore off and I was soon sprinting down the tunnel with the gang of hollering creatures in tow. I came to a locked door and in a remarkable feat of dexterity and quick thinking, produced the correct key from my backpack, unlocked the door, slipped through and locked it behind me before the troglodytes caught up.

Feeling pretty pleased with myself, I walked onward, soon meeting an old man with some kind of wicker basket-elevator contraption. He offered to give me a lift to the upper level, which was apparently the place to be. Giving him some junk from my backpack, I clambered into the basket and was heaved upwards to meet a female troll named Ivy. She demanded payment for her services so I handed her something from my backpack. I was penalised a LUCK point for giving stuff away, but frankly I was glad to be shot of that wooden spike.

Swiftly dispatching a pair of guard dogs I found myself in front of a high wall, beyond which some large creature was roaring ferociously. Climbing up the wall with the help of a grappling iron, I peered over to see the monstrous dinosaur-like pit fiend standing in the way of the exit. Deciding at random that now would be a good time to throw away that silly bone charm the elf girl was carrying, I tossed it into the pit, where the monster grabbed it in its jaws. The charm expanded to fill the creature's mouth and it stomped about in an annoyed fashion. Taking advantage of its distraction, I started to climb down the wall. My progress was hastened when the pit fiend slammed against me, causing me to fall the rest of the way to the floor. A LUCK score roughly equivalent to that of a flattened squirrel may have had something to do with this. I was then forced to engage the pit fiend in combat, which is of course where this adventure ended. Stupid tentacle.

Conclusion: Failure. My hazy memories of the book tell me that I'm on the right track, though, so progress made in that sense.

Number of combats: 14

Attempt #5

Stats rolled: SKILL 7, STAMINA 21, LUCK 9

Unsurprisingly this attempt ended at the claws of the flying guardians while scaling the statue.

Conclusion: Failure.

Number of combats: 4

OK, this is getting silly now. Time to turn cheat mode on. Four dice for stats, allocated as I see fit.

Attempt #6

Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 20, LUCK 10
I take a Potion of Skill this time - I'm not taking any chances.

Taking the same path as in attempt #4, I managed to get as far as the pit fiend's room in similar shape, with a few notable differences - a) I had lost my rope to the stubborn statue, b) I had remembered to close my lunchbox properly and therefore still had some sandwiches left, and c) I had a suit of chainmail I took from the corpse of a certain dwarf Trialmaster who really had it coming.

Unfortunately the lack of a rope left me no choice (for some reason the bone charm wasn't an option from this angle) but to stroll into the pit fiend's er, pit, and wave my sword defiantly at it. An epic battle ensued, but in the end I was victorious, sitting on the monster's tail to eat a few sandwiches. At this point I noticed a trapdoor in the sand, which I lifted to find a shiny, well-crafted shield. Opening the door and entering the tunnel, I felt a surge of confidence - what with my shiny shield and chainmail, I was now a powerhouse of god-like proportions.

So it was no surprise when who other than Chuck Norris turned up to challenge me. Having just ignored a sign on the wall which tried to persuade me to leave my weapons behind, I had just entered a large hall when a throwing star whistled past my head, missing by inches. I was able to best him in combat and stripped away his mask, only to find the dead eyes of an imposter staring back at me. Curses! He hardly had any items, obviously preferring to travel light. Ah well, he wouldn't have stood a chance anyway. Unless killing me and looting my corpse for gems was his plan all along. Apparently he'd just thrown away his last throwing star, but I did find a diamond, which cheered me up no end. Lacking any other options, I jumped into the chute in the far wall.

When I emerged in the room below, I immediately regretted drawing attention to myself by yelling 'wheeee!' on the way down. I was face to face with the famous Bloodbeast, a disgusting creature wallowing in a pool of slime. Fortunately I was a well-read sort of chap and remembered what the leather-bound book said about the Bloodbeast. Stepping forward, I carefully employed my strategy of hacking desperately at its eyes until I hit the real ones. This took a while because somehow a fat, bulbous creature with no appendages to speak of, stuck in a pool of slime is just as skilled in combat as the now deceased pit fiend. Eventually my blade found its mark and I ran for it, not that the thing should have been able to stop me anyway.

Charging into the next room at full pelt, I was approached by a bizarre-looking manticore (although it was probably fairly normal-looking as manticores go). Asking the creature to hold on a sec, I rummaged in my backpack until I found the parchment I found on the skeleton earlier on. While the manticore tapped its foot impatiently, I had a quick read, put the scroll away and lifted my shield in front of me. As I nodded for it to carry on, the manticore unleashed a volley of spikes straight at my shield. "Jolly good shot!" I shouted, proceeding to hack the magical beast to bits.

No sooner did I catch my breath than a gnome showed up. Introducing himself as Igbut, one of the Trialmasters, he warned me that his magical powers were great and I should not attack him. He explained that I had arrived at the exit door, and needed to insert three gems into slots in the correct order to unlock it. Despite a brief panic that one of them might be one that I missed this time on account of not falling into a pit, I had all three of the required gems. Having received no clues as to the correct order, I chose at random and braced myself for a zapping. To my amazement, I had guessed right first time, and the door began to swing open. Before I could proceed Igbut ran excitedly through the door in front of me, smashing an orb on the ground which emitted acrid smoke. I avoided suffocation, and grumpily followed the gnome down the tunnel, only to find his corpse, complete with crossbow bolt ear accessory. Where are your magical powers now, shorty? Proceeding to the exit, I was greeted by cheering crowds who looked astonished to see me. Rather than wonder about why they were here if they weren't expecting a victor, I grinned smugly at Baron Sukumvit, who presented me with my prize and proclaimed me Champion of Deathtrap Dungeon.

Conclusion: Success!

Number of combats:16

Review

Writing: The descriptions do a good job of portraying the environment of Deathtrap Dungeon. The concept of the book is an entertaining one - the idea of a deadly contest is engaging and enables the writer to experiment with all sorts of inventive scenarios. In this way the adventure consists of a number of isolated and varied encounters but does not suffer because of it. As the player you feel like you are being constantly tested, and the presence of puzzles, traps and Trialmasters emphasises this. The only thing I feel could have been improved on is the interaction with the other contestants, or at least the effects of their passage through the dungeon before you.
Writing: 4/5

Artwork: The dungeon is depicted superbly and the art does a great job of showing the reader how grim and dark the place is. The detail present in Ian McCaig's illustrations is amazing, especially in the drawings of the troglodytes, the mirror demon and the exit door, just to name a few. The bloodbeast on the cover is fantastic as well - such a shame they changed the cover for the Wizard reprint.
Artwork: 5/5

Design: This book contains mechanisms that would later be described as 'classic Ian Livingstone'. The shopping list of required items, the extremely narrow true path and the plethora of unavoidable, powerful adversaries are all typical signs of his work. These are quite divisive among gamebook players, some of whom argue that gamebooks should not rely so much on luck, whether through the dice or through uninformed choice. However this is Deathtrap Dungeon - it has been designed by Baron Sukumvit as a twisted game to challenge participants in as punishing a way as possible. The very concept of this book gives the writer an excuse to demonstrate his style, and he has done so very successfully.

The dungeon itself is laid out in a fairly interesting way, giving the player various routes to choose from, even though many are on the 'wrong path'. Sometimes I could kind of tell that I was on the correct route because the encounters and puzzles were more interesting and greater in number. Some of the false paths towards the end seem to hurry you to the Bloodbeast's room, as if the writer didn't think it was worth fleshing them out when you were going to fail anyway.
Design: 4/5

Fairness: I'm torn between two perspectives on this category. This book is downright unfair, there's no doubt about that. The only reason I finished it in so few attempts was that some memories came back to me as I played, such as the fact that crawling further down the slippery pipe after picking up the sapphire leads to instant death. That said, of all the books in the Fighting Fantasy series, this one (along with Trial of Champions) has the ultimate excuse - the dungeon is supposed to be unfair, and you are not expected to prevail. On one hand, this level of challenge enhances replay value and makes victory all the sweeter. On the other hand, replaying a book over and over until you find the solution becomes a mechanical exercise which isn't some players' idea of fun.
Fairness: 3/5

Cheating index: Yes, I helped my stats along on the final attempt by rolling four dice and allocating them as I wanted. There really was no point in taking any character with a SKILL lower than 11 into the dungeon once I'd worked out where the true path was.

1 Razaak

Average enemy stats
Successful path
16 encounters, SKILL 8.4, STAMINA 8.2
Entire book
40 encounters, SKILL 8.4, STAMINA 8.3

Instant death paragraphs: 30

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: It doesn't really need saying that this is a complete LIE.

Final thoughts

The level of difficulty may make this book a bit frustrating for some but there is no doubt that this is a classic and in my opinion is one of the most enjoyable of the series. Even if you don't finish it, or end up cheating to do so, you'll have a lot of fun exploring the dungeon, and finding new and entertaining ways to get yourself killed.

Final score: 8/10

Links

Titannica page
Buy Deathtrap Dungeon on Amazon.co.uk

Playthroughs from other bloggers

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Fighting Fantasy #5 - City of Thieves

2012-08-21T22:16:00.000+01:00

(For those who have read the first attempt, click here to skip to the second one.)

Title: City of Thieves

Author: Ian Livingstone

Illustrator: Ian McCaig

Published: 1983

Level of previous knowledge: Reasonable. I seem to remember that a thorough approach is required to collect necessary items and that there's a fairly tough fight near the end. I don't really recall the details of any specific encounters though, so success will depend on whether the situations I find myself in jog my memory.

Plot summary: Hi, I'm a generic adventurer. You might remember me from such playthroughs as Fighting Fantasy #3 - Forest of Doom. After wandering into the town of Silverton, I have a very one-sided conversation with its mayor, who talks me into undertaking a simple-sounding task. I must find a wizard called Nicodemus in Port Blacksand and persuade him to come and save the town from the wicked Zanbar Bone, whose minions have been steadily murdering the population night by night.

Rules: After the plethora of new rules in Starship Traveller, it's comforting to be back in the realm of normality.

Click here to skip the adventure log

Adventure Log

Attempt #1
Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 21, LUCK 10
Blimey. With stats like these I should be able to lay waste to Port Blacksand. A shame this mission is such an ostensibly simple one...

As I approached the gates of the notorious city of Port Blacksand, I was met by an unpleasant member of the town guard who politely requested that I state my business. He didn't appear to have the head/body of an ape/dog, so I decided to attempt a novel approach and told the truth. I was therefore surprised when more guards emerged with the intention of locking me up. Inwardly shrugging my shoulders, I wrenched myself free of their grasp, knocked their heads together and dashed into the city.

Picking a street at random, I soon came across a scruffy, miserable-looking fellow sitting in the gutter. I approached him, intending to cheer him up with some witty banter and maybe glean some information, and was rewarded for my efforts when he leapt at me brandishing a knife. Making short work of him, I found a smoke-filled glass ball on his corpse, which I smashed on the ground. Inexplicably the smoke coalesced into the shape of a helmet, which solidified before my eyes. Bemused, I placed the hard-won treasure on my head and continued on my way.

After a left turn I came across a large house, the door to which had carelessly been left wide open. Never one to miss out on a spot of opportunistic burglary, I decided to have a poke about inside. I was disappointed by the contents, however, as the first room was very sparse, and more than a little smelly. Investigating further I soon came across the occupant, a worried-looking ogre. He asked me for food and I refused on the basis that he could easily have eaten everything I was carrying and it would barely touch the sides. Before I could offer to go and hunt down a hippo or giant badger (I don't know what ogres eat) he decided that I looked tasty and tried to hit me with his giant bone. This was not as fun as it sounds; however I was able to escape bonage and overcome him. A rummage through his belongings revealed a small wooden box. After a quick listen for any suspicious hissing noises from within, I smashed the box to smithereens and took the gems and gold within. There was also a dainty-looking silk glove, which I tried on immediately - if vagrants carry skill-enhancing helmets around town in glass balls, then surely this would be something equally as fantas-- aargh! The glove became hot and burned my hand, permanently damaging it in the process. Stupid glove.

Further down the street I was conned by a small boy into paying to drink some water which he claimed to have magical healing properties. Upon realising that the water was unremarkable (although it is perhaps remarkable that it wasn't yellow) I shook my fist at the boy 'in mock anger'. Mock? I'd just wasted three gold pieces, and if the fate of the world rested upon my shoulders (I wasn't sure it did, but you never know) then I was going to need every possible resource I can get! That boy may have just doomed us all. Oh well.

Muttering distractedly to myself, I was surprised by three dwarven muggers who jumped at me from an alleyway. They were annoyingly successful at knocking me out and I woke up to find that the rest of my gold had been stolen. Those dwarves may have just doomed us all!

Cursing my luck and rubbing my sore head, I staggered into a flower shop. Despite having no money I doubtfully agree to have a look at one of the florist's 'special' flowers. She seemed aware of my unspoken plight, explaining that the petals of her golden flowers will turn into gold pieces under the right set of circumstances. Bizarrely, those circumstances involved dipping them in dog's blood, but I assumed that ingredient probably wouldn't be too hard to find in Port Blacksand, so traded some provisions for the flowers and left the shop, wondering if the petals might have more interesting uses.

In the next shop I sold the gems I found in the ogre's house (which the dwarven muggers must have ignored on the basis that they're not gold). My attempts at haggling nearly provoked the shopkeeper into a frenzy of violence, so I calmed him down and accepted the measly sum he offered.

This was further reduced a short while later when I was pickpocketed by an old woman in the town square. She may have just doomed us etc etc. Refusing to pay a colourful-looking musician to sing a song of fortune (although judging from the start to my adventure, I'm in need of it), I notice a muscle-bound man challenging all-comers to a game of catch with a cannon-ball. Confident in my skill and strength, I took him up on his challenge. Unfortunately it turned out to be a contest of random chance rather than skill or strength, and I lost the game and 5 gold pieces.

Having been fleeced of my gold so many times be this accursed city, I thought that I may as well carry on in the same vein, and handed over more gold to hear a clairvoyant proclaim more doom and gloom upon me. Sure enough, no sooner did I leave her tent than it began to rain steadily. Taking shelter in a derelict house, I found myself sharing the abode with a swarm of snakes, which of course attacked immediately. I escaped without any bites and left the house to find it had stopped raining already. Just a passing shower, I guess.

Eventually I arrived at a bridge over the river, and descended the steps to find Nicodemus in his hut. My joy at reaching the end of my quest soon evaporated when he informed me that he was too old for adventuring and he would instead tell me how to defeat Zanbar Bone myself. Hurrah? (OK, I wasn't really naive enough to think I could just hand the quest over to an old wizard and go off home). I also received the happy news that I would need a whole stack of obscure items in order to complete my quest, as well as the kind of tattoo that would ensure I would be laughed at for the rest of my life. Which would probably be very short, anyway, because Zanbar Bone had a whole host of minions which I would have to deal with first. Hmph...

Muttering to myself about lazy wizards, I continued on my way until a doorway caught my eye. Something about the six skulls painted on it made it feel quite welcoming, so I entered and found myself in a dimly-lit room with a smiling man who sat me down and offered me the chance to participate in a deadly game. Six pills, one is poisonous, survive swallowing one and acquire a tidy sum of gold. If I died, he would keep all my possessions. Well, it seemed legit. It wasn't like the citizens of Port Blacksand were scoundrels who would, say, manipulate the odds by giving me five poisoned pills and one safe one, or something like that. Anyway, I was desperate for the cash, given the recent acquisition of a large shopping list, so I agreed to the game - and survived! Blacksand 5, Me 1!

Skipping happily along the street I was alerted to the sound of an argument coming from a nearby house. Peeking inside revealed two old women, dressed as little girls and squabbling over a child's toy. They demanded a toy from me, but I handed over some food instead, hoping it would shut them up for a bit. I took advantage of their distraction to look around but, finding only a bowl of soup, thought better of the whole thing and left.

At the end of the street I was recruited into a game of 'Bay's Ball' by a group of odd-looking (although not odd for this city) creatures. I managed to hit the Blacksand equivalent of a home run to win the game for my side and the supporters hailed me as their hero. I emerged from the crowd slightly richer and with a myriad of useful-looking useless items. Pleased with my change of fortune, I tossed a gold piece to a nearby beggar, and was rewarded with a LUCK point.

With a new, positive attitude, I decided to wander into a nearby alleyway, where I was set upon by a pair of slavering wild dogs. I dispatched them without fear, and then remembered the golden flowers I was carrying around. After dipping the petals in the blood of my foes, I emerged from the alleyway richer to the tune of 10 gold pieces. I wondered how I had managed to walk into an alleyway in Port Blacksand without being robbed, murdered or press-ganged, and could only assume that the dogs had eaten whoever had been lying in wait. And then buried the bones.

After dodging a poorly-driven horse-drawn carriage I found myself at the quayside, looking up at a pirate ship. I couldn't make out its name, but I assumed it wasn't the Black Pearl that was on my shopping list. Nevertheless it was worth checking out, so I walked casually down the jetty and climbed a rope ladder to the deck. I decided to knock out the guard here to allow me to search around, so I found a piece of wood and bashed him over the head with it. Obviously a SKILL of 12 does not enable me to knock a man out with the hilt of my sword - only a 2x4 will do. Sadly I found nothing of interest on the deck, but the lower deck proved more interesting. In one room I found three sleeping pirates, and was able to cut a leather pouch loose from one of them. The pouch contained black pearls, so I was finally able to cross something off my list. Emboldened by my good fortune, I threw open another door, where I surprised a fat, unarmed bathing pirate who turned out to be very informative, advising me that I would find a silversmith to make me an arrow on Clog Street. Things were definitely looking up!

Leaving the ship without incident, the next junction conveniently met with Clog Street. Stopping briefly to help and then kill a small boy who turned out to be a nasty little goblin with a knife, I entered a candle shop because all hardened adventurer types obviously love candles.While I stared at the dazzling candles the elven shopkeeper doomed us all by stealing from my backpack. I had no recollection of the theft, however, so maybe I'd notice next time I opened my pack for any reason...

The next shop I came to was the silversmith, who helpfully made me a silver arrow there and then and asked for 10 gold pieces. Reaching into my pack for my money I -- aargh! Who stole my precious eye patch and knucklebones? I bet it was that elf! I've a good mind to go back and...

Turning into the next street I was confronted by a crazy, warty man who offered me the dubious opportunity of buying a drink of his 'healing potion'. Given that 1) I was in no imminent need of healing, 2) everyone here was a con artist and 3) if the potion would give me that many warts I'd rather go without, I refused the offer and continued on.

I soon came across a manhole, which of course I lifted and climbed down into the sewers. No respectable adventurer ignores the chance to wander dank, smelly tunnels and slaughter some giant rats. In fact, doesn't every respectable adventurer start his career that way? I got exactly what I expected when three large furry forms launched themselves at me from the darkness, and defeated them with ease. Further along the tunnel I was attacked by a hag wielding vile sorcery. Fortunately I had time to rummage in my pack and retrieve the Potion of Mind Control which was apparently among the prizes I received from the Bay's Ball supporters. Under the effects of the potion I was able to pluck out a tuft of the hag's hair (good thing I remembered that was on the shopping list - ahem) and throw her into the sewer in a surprising fit of mercy. Exploring the tunnel in the other direction, I killed a giant centipede that may have given lesser adventurers quite a bit of trouble. At the end of the tunnel I sensibly reached into a dark, slimy hole and retrieved an inexplicably located mirror. I then decided that I'd spent enough time wallowing in excrement and made my way back to street level.

Around the corner I encountered three vagabonds intent on robbing me. Each of them boasted that he could kill me single-handedly. Unfortunately for them, they did not have access to the same statistical information as I did.

The next door to catch my eye was a large, wooden affair with a serpent's head carved into it. As I entered the house, a woman's voice challenged me from behind some curtains, so I pretended to be delivering flowers from Lord Azzur himself. The curtains were drawn back and the woman revealed herself to have a snake-like head. She asked for the flowers, and at this point I realised I hadn't really thought this plan through. A fight with the Serpent Queen ensued and after my victory I found a pouch of gold while rummaging around. City of Thieves indeed...

Moving on, I visited the local blacksmith, who offered me some fine chainmail for the pretty sum of 20 gold pieces. By this point I was rather weighed down by all the money that was coming my way, so I agreed and left the shop 2 SKILL points better off. (Note - I apply bonuses like this to my Attack Strength rather than my SKILL as it makes no sense that I'd have to have a crippled SKILL to benefit from new armour)

Outside a man in rags with a ball and chain staggered up to me and begged for my help. My first instinct was to help the escaped prisoner, so I attempted to cut through his chains. I looked rather stupid when I was unable to do so and four town guards quickly surrounded me. Realising that I was a wrong move away from being thrown in prison myself, I quickly offered them a bribe. Sadly I had nothing of interest to them, so I was forced to make a run for it, tossing some gold on the floor as a distraction.

My escape led me into the public gardens, which I thought would be a good place to hang out until the heat was off. They also happened to contain some lotus flowers which I required for my mission. As I picked the flowers, however, I was attacked by some local topiaries. Fortunately my shiny new armour saved me from any damage and once again I ran for it before I drew any more unwelcome attention.

Before long I found myself outside a tattoo shop, and sighed with resignation. This was it - the moment I would kiss goodbye to my looks, my self-esteem, and any chance of striking fear into the heart of an enemy again. Laughter, maybe. I went inside, and before I could say "Do you have anything in non-permanent ink?" I was pricked into submission. Seriously considering going back to the blacksmith and asking for a full helmet, I resumed my journey.

As I passed a couple of trollish town guards, I was stopped and interrogated, then arrested for no apparent reason. I was, however, allowed to pay a fine of all the gold left in my backpack (not much, at this point, and my shopping list was complete) and be thrown out of the city. As my backside hit the road outside, I vowed that if I ever came back here, it would be to see those two guards hung by their own intestines. For now, I had more important things to do.

I made camp that night under a tree, and awoke to find a bird with a message. Apparently Nicodemus was a complete idiot and gave me false information about the ingredients I would need to kill Zanbar Bone. I would only need two of the three, but the wizard could not remember which, so rather than tell me to hang back a bit and let him do a bit more research, he simply suggested that I try one of the three possible combinations and accept that there was now a two-thirds chance that I'd be screwed before I even arrived at Zanbar Bone's tower. Gee thanks, Nicovingstone. I vented my rage on a passing orc and made the trek to Zanbar Bone's tower.

I was greeted at the entrance to the tower by a pair of Zanbar Bone's Moon Dogs, which I had obviously disturbed from chewing on the bones of thousands of previous adventurers. They met their match this time, however, and it was with an air of smugness that I tugged on the cord hanging just outside the door. Hang on a sec - why does an evil mastermind even have a doorbell? And more importantly, why did I just ring it, announcing my presence to the entire tower? I did not have time to consider this for long, however, as the door opened and a servant peered up at me. I pretended to be a lost traveller, and he invited me in to stay the night. Don't mind if I do! I was shown to my room, where of course I climbed into bed and settled down for a pleasant night's sleep...

...or not. After the servant was out of earshot, I sneaked out of the room and climbed the stairs. Opening the door I found here, I found myself face to face with a vampire. Luckily I seemed to be carrying some garlic in my hand, and she recoiled in horror, allowing me to back out of the room and lock the door. I encountered another door on the next floor, which I opened to find nothing but pitch blackness. Having no way to illuminate the darkness, I shut the door and continued onwards. Surely Mr Bone would be waiting at the top of the tower anyway.

So I climbed the stairs again, to find myself on a landing with two doors - one white and the other black. Zanbar Bone's voice then boomed out, mocking me for the ridiculous tattoo on my face. Opening the black door, I found myself in an unsettling room. Looking around, I saw black candles, a large mirror and a large, open chest containing a golden skull. Walking across the room, I was disconcerted when the chest vanished before my eyes. I was even more disconcerted when skeletal fingers touched my skin and began to drain my life force. Before long I was just another of Zanbar Bone's skeletal servants. Maybe he'd let me be a skeleton rather than a zombie, though - at least that way my stupid tattoo wouldn't be visible any more...

Conclusion: Failure. But so close...

Number of combats:18

Attempt #2
Stats rolled: SKILL 7, STAMINA 20, LUCK 10
Ah, crap.

Somewhat less confident in my abilities than my previous incarnation, I decided to take a different approach at the gates. Fortunately I was able to convince the guard that I was here to sell some stolen booty, which happened to be cursed and not suitable for viewing by untrained eyes. Rejecting his kind offer of advice for gold, I wandered straight into the city.

Turning left into Key Street, I immediately came across a locksmith's shop. The dwarven proprietor boasted that he could make a key to fit any lock in Port Blacksand. Surely, I thought, everyone would want one of these keys, as this city consists of nothing but thieves. Somehow I found myself disbelieving of his claim and left without paying his exorbitant price.

Further down the street a young boy ran out and handed me a note, before disappearing around a corner. The note warned me that I should leave 10 gold pieces in the street before moving on or I would be shot by watching archers. I would have liked the option to pretend to leave the gold, or perhaps to run for my life, but I could only leave the gold or carry on walking. Believing that this whole thing was probably a con anyway, I shrugged and continued on my way - and seconds later an arrow pierced my side. Only the one, though. Definitely worth 10 gold pieces!

As I staggered onwards a small girl beckoned me towards a house, and I followed. Inside an old man treated my wound, restoring most of the health I lost, then asked for my sword as payment. Rather than offer him something else (I still had all my gold this time around!) I handed over the weapon in the absence of a sensible option.

Now possessing all the combat skill of a doorknob, I proceeded carefully, coming to a brightly coloured house with a welcoming sign hanging from the door. Wondering if a particularly festive weaponsmith might reside within, I entered the house. Inside I climbed the stairs and came face-to-face with a reptilian creature who calmly asked if I would like to buy one of its brooches. Given my current weaponless situation, I thought I'd take any help I could get, and purchased a brooch which would heal me slightly after each combat. Assuming I survived...

...which I didn't. As I exited the building two town guards approached and asked to see my pass. I said 'pass', which didn't amuse them in the slightest, and they attempted to arrest me. Rather than go quietly, I drew my -- erm, posed narcissistically and threw myself into combat. I was able to take one of them down but by that point the other only had to sneeze on me and I was finished. Rats.

Conclusion: Failure. And not remotely close.

Number of combats:2

Attempt #3
Stats rolled: SKILL 11, STAMINA 19, LUCK 10

OK, I might stand a chance this time.

Fooling the guard at the gate with my imaginary cursed merchandise, I entered the city and took the street in front of me, hoping for a more direct route to the market square. Along the way I popped into a herbalist's shop and bought some healing mixture. Surprisingly I wasn't ripped off, and the stuff seemed to be genuine. Wondering if I had come to the wrong town, I left the shop and continued northwards.

I then came to the Spotted Dog, a dingy establishment but one that I felt compelled to investigate. Striding confidently past the collection of miscreants inside, I ordered a drink from the innkeeper. Unfortunately the level of service was below par, and I was refused service. Given the choice of a fight or dignified retreat I chose the latter, and continued on my way.

The unfriendly nature of the citizens of Port Blacksand was further reinforced when a pair of thieves attempted to relieve me of my possessions. They failed in this, of course, and I was free to help myself to their no doubt ill-gotten riches. I ignored a phial of liquid, though, expecting it to be some kind of poison.

Seeing a grand-looking house set back slightly from the street, a mischievous voice in my head alerted me to the potential opportunity for some light thievery of my own. When in Blacksand, after all. My attempt was nearly abandoned, however, when a large wolf rushed out of the kennel I had previously ignored (I would have failed my thief exams) and aimed for my throat. Fortunately its chain was too short and it was left snapping at thin air. I successfully forced the door (OK, I'm more of a thug than a thief) and headed inside, my eye quickly caught by a large chest. My clumsy attempt to pick the lock succeeded, and I was lucky to avoid being hit by a pair of poisoned darts. Inside the chest I found a heap of gold and a shiny shield. Wondering what other goodies this house had in store, I crept up the stairs and cursed as I heard the owner return home. Seconds later a flying imp appeared, spitting fire. I spitted it on my sword (huh? huh?) then proceeded downstairs to confront its master, who unexpectedly chucked a bolt of lightning at me, knocking me to the floor. In my prone state, however, I was still able to throw my sword at him, piercing his chest and killing him outright. Feeling slightly embarrassed, I retrieved my weapon and left the house, giving the kennel a wide berth.

Soon after, I found my way to the now familiar market square. Here I bought some nameless food, listened to a lucky song and bought a throwing knife, a lantern and a rope with some of the vast amount of gold I was carrying. Then I left the square, ignored the snake-infested house and continued to find Nicodemus in his hut. Re-treading old ground, I ignored the house with skulls painted on the door, as I had no need to risk my life for money. I also ignored the sounds of arguing from an open window, and carried on to find the Bays playing their game behind a stone wall. Joining a team, I once again saved the day and was rewarded with a selection of dubious prizes.

As focused as I was on my goal, I walked straight past a miserable-looking beggar, who I probably could have fed for a year. Oh well. Finding my way to the pirate ship, I retrieved the black pearls from their owner with surgical precision, and continued on to the silversmith, from whom I bought a silver arrow and a set of matching tableware. Ignoring a crazy old man, I performed the very sane series of actions of lifting a manhole cover, playing with some rats and pulling out an old woman's hair. Climbing back out of the sewer, I cleaned myself off with my new ratskin handkerchief and continued down the street.

I was prepared for the vagabonds this time, and a timely knife thrown at their leader took him down and deterred the others from taking me on. Ignoring other distractions, I made my way to the blacksmith's shop where I purchased a shiny chainmail coat for a mere 20 gold pieces. Upon leaving the shop I was approached by the escaped prisoner who almost got me into so much trouble on our last meeting. Turning him over to the guards like the model citizen I am, I was rewarded with more gold! This easily paid for my trip into the public gardens, where I performed the public service of trimming (well, hacking) some hedges, before leaving with the important lotus flower.

The final item on my shopping list was soon taken care of by the tattoo artist, and I was free to annoy the guards into throwing me out of town. That night at my camp site I battled a giant snake for the right to take on Zanbar Bone. Maybe I should have let the snake win, although I don't think he would have been very successful with the whole firing-a-silver-arrow thing.

After a fairly easy battle with the moon dogs, I found myself at the door to Zanbar Bone's tower. Unsure as to what I did wrong previously, I resolved to do things a bit differently this time, and attempted to break down the door. My attempt was successful but not without painful injury, and the noise alerted a servant. Determined that no-one would stand in my way, I ran him through with my sword, to remarkably little effect. I resorted to firing my silver arrow at him, which had a much better result, and the spirit stalker melted into a puddle of goo. Stealing a shiny shield from the wall (are there bonuses for wearing two shields?), I climbed the spiral staircase.

I soon found myself in familiar territory, and ignored the doors concealing vampires and impenetrable darkness. Eventually I found myself on the landing with a black door and a white door. I opened the white door into a room containing nothing but a decorated sarcophagus, the opening of which disturbed the resident mummy. Fortunately I had remembered to light my lantern when I entered the tower earlier (ahem) and I threw it at the creature, which burst into flames and was consumed in a matter of seconds. Inside the sarcophagus I found a gold ring, which my in-built Encyclopaedia Allansia informed me was the Ring of the Golden Eye, famed for its ability to allow the wearer to detect illusions. Handy!

Hoping that I now had everything I would need to defeat my nemesis, I crossed the landing and opened the black door. As I walked into the room, my shiny new ring alerted me to the illusion before me, and suddenly Zanbar Bone himself stood before me. In true evil villain fashion, he summoned several skeletal minions for me to deal with before I could fire my silver arrow. I supposed he was stalling for time, as the skeletons were much weaker than the moon dogs which I had casually dispatched outside. As the third skeleton fell, I fired my silver arrow and pierced the Night Prince's dark heart. Dashing over to the prone form, I frantically rubbed my compound into his eyes - black pearl and lotus flower. Sadly I chose wrongly, and it had no effect. Zanbar Bone reached out, and once again I was recruited into his employment.

Conclusion: Failure. Did I mention that I hate wizards? I hate wizards.

Number of combats:15

Sigh. From this point on the adventure logs will be much shorter as I'm re-treading old ground...

Attempt #4
Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 18, LUCK 12
Right, no excuses this time. Except that there's still a 50/50 chance of getting the wrong combination...

...phew! No need for a long tale this time - just imagine the previous attempt, but this time getting the combination right. It was a walk in the park, with only the moon dogs managing to so much as scratch me in combat. Setting fire to the tower on the way out (you know, just to make sure I kill any innocent prisoners within) I made my way back to Silverton and a hero's welcome. Funnily enough the mayor's daughter didn't volunteer for marriage - something to do with the ridiculous tattoo of a UNICORN ON MY FACE perhaps? Join us next week for the sequel, Revenge of the Other-Four-Moon-Dogs-The-Hero-Forgot-To-Kill...

Conclusion: Success!

Number of combats:12

Review

Writing: The hero's characterisation may be fairly thin, but the setting for this book, Port Blacksand, makes it a much more enjoyable read than Forest of Doom. The world feels more fully realised and vibrant, and every step of the way through the city provides opportunities for adventure. You really get the impression that it is a city in chaos, where a wrong move could end with you in the gutter, but also where you can come out ahead if you're willing to 'play the game' like everyone else in Port Blacksand. From the city guard to the lowliest beggar, you're never quite sure who is out to get you, or who might be helpful... for a price. The writing throughout is descriptive, and although there are occasions where obvious options are not included, there are usually multiple ways to deal with each situation.
Writing: 4/5

Artwork:The illustrations are incredibly detailed and do a great job of depicting the setting of Port Blacksand. You really get the impression that everything is cluttered, from the dirty, rubbish-strewn streets to the interiors of the various houses and shops. The sheer level of detail makes the artwork stand out as some of the best I've ever seen in a Fighting Fantasy book.
Artwork: 5/5

Design:I liked that this was a traditional romp in that there are no extra rules to contend with - the setting did not need any. Instead you can just sit back and enjoy the ride as you progress through the city, rather than faffing about with adventure sheets for too long. The first stage of the book offers three main routes to the market square, none of which contain anything essential to the plot, but all present their own opportunities and challenges. After the meeting with Nicodemus, the game becomes an item hunt. Most of the shopping list can be obtained simply by being thorough - however a couple can be missed entirely if you turn the wrong way at a junction. This wouldn't be so bad if the route weren't so linear, but I guess the ability to go backwards would make things far too easy. As much as I would have liked the opportunity to explore Port Blacksand, sandbox-style, the book does a decent job of giving you a few choices while keeping you on the right track.

The end game is much tougher than the rest of the book, the fight with the moon dogs being an obvious example. Up until this point you probably won't have encountered anything with a SKILL of more than 7 or 8, so a SKILL 11 mutt is a bit of a shock to the system. Surely this kind of fight could have been reserved for a final tussle with the boss's minions, before the confrontation with Zanbar Bone himself. Instead you are in the situation where, if you are able to even enter the tower, you are obviously more than capable of defeating any opponent in normal combat, so the skeletons, for instance, are a bit redundant. The tower itself is also a bit of a letdown, with a selection of red herrings and one door which must be entered before the final room.
Design: 3/5

Fairness:As far as combat goes, the book is fairly easy until you meet the moon dogs. If you play the rules as I did, with shiny shields and chainmail adding to your Attack Strength rather than your SKILL, it is a little less hard to swallow when the formidable doggies welcome you to Zanbar Bone's tower.

Most items you need are fairly straightforward to find, but as a wrong turn at a junction can cause you to miss one of two of them, it could be a little frustrating. On one occasion there is the opportunity to hear a fishwife's tale about a hag who lives in the sewers - unfortunately there is no indication of on which street the entrance to the sewers can be found, and in order to meet the fishwife you have to ignore advice you may have received about finding the silversmith by turning on to a different street (although you are forced to turn back on to the correct street anyway).

Within a few playthroughs, however, you will find yourself breezing through the city, and providing you rolled a decent SKILL, the endgame shouldn't be a problem either. Except for the final touch - the combination of ingredients required to kill Zanbar Bone. Whatever percentage chance you had of completing this adventure successfully before that buffoon Nicodemus sends you his apologetic note, well just go ahead and divide that by three. Git.
Fairness: 3/5

Cheating index: 0 Razaaks

Average enemy stats
Successful path
12 encounters, SKILL 6.8, STAMINA 6.3
Entire book
73 encounters, SKILL 6.7, STAMINA 6.1

Instant death paragraphs: 11

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls: Depending on how you apply SKILL/Attack Strength bonuses, this could be either TRUE or a LIE. A SKILL 7, STAMINA 14 adventurer applying bonuses to Attack Strength might just stand a chance against the moon dogs with a +1 shield and a +2 set of chainmail, but it's still pretty unlikely.

Final thoughts

This is one of the real classics - an old school adventure with no fancy extras, a great setting, and a lot to do. A couple of mechanics are too harsh towards the end, but the book is fun enough to warrant a few replays. Clearly Ian Livingstone thought it was far too easy, as he followed it up with Deathtrap Dungeon. And so will I...
Final score: 7/10

Links

Titannica page
Buy City of Thieves on Amazon.co.uk

Playthroughs from other bloggers

Turn to 400
Fighting Dantasy
Fighting For Your Fantasy
May Your Stamina Never Fail
Adventure Gameblog

Dice roller

2012-08-09T13:25:00.000+01:00

During a chat with Stuart Lloyd at the Blood of the Zombies book signing last weekend, the subject of dice rolling came up, and I mentioned that I use an Excel adventure sheet for all my playthroughs, with a built-in dice roller. He was curious about this, so I thought I'd upload the dice roller for anyone to use if they wish. It's not sophisticated, and it only rolls 2D6, but it's perfect for Fighting Fantasy. The following website came in very handy when creating this:

http://spreadsheets.about.com/od/spreadsheetlessons/ss/080218_diceroll.htm

Download my dice roller here.

A pint with some bloke called Ian

2012-08-06T23:06:00.000+01:00

So, this Saturday there was a book signing at Forbidden Planet in London. A new Fighting Fantasy book called Blood of the Zombies was being launched, and the author, Ian Livingstone, was coming to sign copies at 3pm. Having no idea as to how crowded it would be, I resolved to show up at least an hour early, and therefore arrived at Forbidden Planet at 2:20. This turned out to be good timing, however, as minutes later Ian arrived. It was still fairly quiet and no-one else was approaching him, so I wandered over and said hello. As he shook my hand I nervously gibbered something about being a lifelong fan, and he asked me what the first FF book I ever read was. I immediately reverted to the persona of the excited 11 year old I was when I first opened the pages of House of Hell, and enthused about how wonderful it was that FF was back on the shelves. He mentioned that he recently saw Steve Jackson and he was trying to get him on board for another gamebook project - maybe 'the 40th anniversary'! Eventually a member of staff showed up to save Ian and ushered him into a back room for pre-signing stuff.

A queue soon began to form, so I grabbed my copy of Blood of the Zombies and joined it, looking for familiar faces. Before long I spotted Stuart Lloyd joining in. By the time I reached the front of the queue I had composed myself enough to ask Ian a couple of questions about the new book, relating to the decision to do away with SKILL and LUCK. He replied that he had tweaked the combat system to make it quicker, because 'people don't have time for combat' any more. Personally I don't mind dice-rolling, but I understand the sentiment. He stated that BotZ is easier to play, but tougher to win. If it's tough than Trial of Champions it's going to be a very long blog entry when it comes to that particular playthrough...

After the signing I was able to have a chat with Stuart (@slloyd14), Jamie Fry ('The Warlock' - @fightingfantasy) and creator of Tin Man Games, Neil Rennison (@TinManGames). We headed to the pub for a quick drink, and were delighted when Ian joined us for a swift half. All in all it was a great afternoon!

I haven't had a chance to play Blood of the Zombies yet, but I doubt I'll have the willpower to wait until I get that far by playing the books in order...

Excuses

2012-07-10T11:41:00.001+01:00

I'm aware I haven't been the fastest blogger in the west lately, having been left in the dust by other newcomers to the Fighting Fantasy playthrough blog party. I've made a start on City of Thieves, and needless to say, the first attempt did not go well, and the second is barely under way.

I have an excuse for my ongoing slackitude, however - I'm getting married this weekend and the panic has well and truly set in. I'm sure I'll be more productive once things have calmed down again though, so watch this space...

Turn to 400

2012-06-14T17:01:00.000+01:00

If the pace at which I'm posting entries is too slow for you (and let's face it, half a monkey with half a typewriter could give me a run for my money) then some dude called Murray is doing something similar, with somewhat of a headstart. Also, he's funnier. His blog can be found here: http://turnto400.blogspot.co.uk/. Also, he plugged my blog, which makes him a top man in my book.

Also, skeletons.

Fighting Fantasy #4 - Starship Traveller

2012-06-10T21:22:00.000+01:00

Title: Starship Traveller

Author: Steve Jackson

Illustrator: Peter Andrew Jones

Published: 1983

Level of previous knowledge: I remember the plot and the task of having to find certain co-ordinates/dates during the journey. I don’t remember any of the encounters along the way, or where any of the correct information might be found.

Plot summary: I’m the captain of a starship called Traveller, which is about to be sucked into a black hole and transported to a parallel universe. My task is simply (ha!) to find the way back to our own universe by visiting some alien planets and bothering their residents until they provide the information needed.

Rules: Lots of new stuff here. Firstly there are rules for ship-to-ship combat, which involves a series of tests (2D6 vs weapons strength or shields) and looks like it would be quite deadly. Then there’s phaser combat, which looks similar but even more deadly – one hit either stuns or kills the target. Hand-to-hand combat looks fairly normal except that there is no scope for using LUCK to increase or decrease damage. Speaking of LUCK, there are no rules for ‘Testing your LUCK’ as in other books. Combat is complicated by the fact that you are usually accompanied by two or three members of your starship crew, each of which have their own SKILL and STAMINA values, and fights independently.

Click here to skip the adventure log

Adventure Log:

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 11, STAMINA 17, LUCK 12, WEAPONS STRENGTH 12, SHIELDS 13

I won’t list the stats I rolled for all my staff, but suffice to say I wouldn’t want to spill my Security Officer’s pint…

So there we were, trekkin’ across the universe, when a great big black hole appeared out of nowhere and started sucking us in. My crew’s efforts to avoid this fate were unsuccessful and we were yanked violently through into a parallel universe. My first thought was that we could be in an ‘alternate’ universe, and that I should try to find my evil twin, but sadly this opportunity never arose.

Approaching the nearest life-bearing planet, we decided to beam down right into the middle of the most heavily-populated city we could find. Crossing my fingers that there would be no accidents, I materialised on the planet’s surface with a few of my crew members, only to find that the middle of the most heavily populated city we could find was completely deserted. Entering the nearest building, we encountered a large group of aliens, but before we could open fire, one of them struck up a conversation with me and offered to show me round (fortunately my translator was programmed for whatever language the alien was speaking). Too polite to refuse, I opted for a general tour of the building,

As the alien showed me round the building I was struck by how ‘earthly’ everything seemed. He told me of their culture, and that they have no laws and no authority figures – everyone is free to do as they like. These people were obviously in need of a fascist dictator to help them through this difficult period. We then passed the ‘guard’ room, and he explained that guards do not guard things – they are basically violent psychopaths who attack people at random, but to give you a sporting chance they wear a guard’s uniform to warn you to be ‘on your guard’ when they’re around. Ahahaha. While I was mentally wrestling with the many logical gaps in his explanation, several of the psychopathic paragons of fairness crept up on us and attacked us from behind. A messy combat ensued but we were eventually victorious, courtesy mostly of my Security Officer’s l33t skillz.

My alien companion shrugged off the attack as if it were a perfectly normal occurrence. At this point I decided that this was a Stupid Planet and we should leave as soon as possible. I was reluctant to go, however, without first checking out the maps room. Unfortunately the only information found therein related to other planets in the same system, and there was nothing about any black holes. We then beamed up to the ship before the aliens decided that it might be a bit of a wheeze to remove our arms and legs and use us as bowling pins.

We headed to the next nearest planet, a large red one with signs of advanced civilisation. Beaming down, we once again found ourselves on a deserted street, but were soon greeted by an alien who materialised in front of us. We began to chat but one of my crew members was clearly bored by the conversation and shot the alien dead. He claimed that the alien was pointing a weapon at me – a detail which I had obviously missed. Confused, I had the alien beamed up to the ship for the Medical Officer to check over, but strangely the alien did not arrive.

We continued along the street, and suddenly I heard the sound of gunfire. Diving to the ground, I was baffled when my fellow crew members looked at me like I had showed up to a meeting of the Galactic Senate wearing a penguin costume. They were unhurt by the hail of bullets they were standing in, and I was either losing my marbles or something very odd was going on here. Entering the nearest building, I fiddled around with a library computer for a bit in an attempt to find out why this was such a Stupid Planet. Fortunately one of my colleagues was doing something more useful by looking at astronomy files, and had found information regarding the location of a black hole. Noting down the sector number, we beamed back aboard the ship. Setting a course for a distant purple star, I was informed that the hallucinations were caused by a drug that had accidentally been released in the planet’s atmosphere, which probably explains why the inhabitants were conspicuous by their absence from the planet’s surface.

Beaming down on to another deserted street, I was told that the architecture was alien. Really? The street did not stay deserted for long, however; some kind of hover car was approaching. Then an insectoid alien called me over with some urgency to a small building, so I hustled over and followed him inside. He told me that the planet’s inhabitants are immortal, so PCs (Population Controllers) are employed to keep numbers under control (i.e. exterminate people for tiny infractions, or at random). His timely intervention had saved me from an encounter with them; although temporarily, it transpired. Several PCs smashed through the door, ordered me outside and killed my alien companion with some kind of finger laser.

Co-operating with the PCs for the time being in the hope that they’d take me to meet someone of importance, I ended up in a queue in front of a doorway which looked suspiciously like the entrance to some kind of furnace. Fortunately at this point my Science Officer had a brainwave – he theorised that the aliens were in fact androids which could be affected by a jamming frequency. I like jamming too, so I set my communicator to the relevant frequency and all the aliens froze like statues. Escaping from our captors, we found our way to the transmission room with remarkable precision. A quick fiddle with the controls later and we were beamed back to our ship, along with a helmet I acquired from one of the aliens, which turned out to be some kind of cybernetic skill-enhancing thingy.

The next planet we came across exhibited signs of intelligent life, so we beamed down to the surface. This time we materialised not in a deserted street but outside a village, in front of some of the locals. Taking the diplomatic approach, I was able to persuade the spear-wielding aliens to take me to the village elder. He was a friendly enough chap, and told me that their race was being punished with bad weather by someone called the Rain Lord who was controlling the climate from a nearby castle. This was causing a certain amount of disease, so my Medical Officer prescribed some drugs for them, coming dangerously close to falling ill herself. We then agreed to go and talk to the Rain Lord on their behalf, mostly because I was curious about the idea of weather control. Approaching the castle in a friendly manner, we surrendered ourselves to the guards, who escorted us inside, leaving us with a small man who called himself Bran-Sel. It turned out that he did indeed possess equipment that could control the weather, but it had malfunctioned. I called my Science Officer in, and he was very quickly able to fix the problem, returning the weather to normal. The Rain Lord rewarded us with some information about the speed required to travel through a black hole. Hoping this would be useful, we beamed back aboard the ship.

Investigating another nearby planet, we found nothing but a small crashed aircraft, with no signs of life. Recalling the investigating crew members to the ship, I was soon counting myself fortunate not to be one of the landing party, as several of them dropped dead upon their return. I immediately ordered the landing party quarantined, but then several engineers also died suddenly. Fortunately my Science Officer had the common sense to suggest that we seal off the docking bay, and this halted the spread of the poison. My Medical Officer then came up with an antidote which worked successfully (at this point the successful SKILL check led to a failure, so I assumed this was an error and went to the other paragraph).

Wishing that we had some kind of planet-killing weapon on board, we left orbit and considered our next direction. A fast-moving ship came within range, and soon we made contact with the commander, a representative of the Imperial Ganzig Federation. I was apparently now his prisoner, and complied with his command to accompany him to a starbase. After some waiting it became clear that we had been cleared or forgotten about, so I decided to explore a bit. I approached a friendly-looking service robot and asked it to lead me to someone of authority, which it did without fuss. I found myself waiting awkwardly while a grossly large-headed alien had a brief nap and awoke to give me a stardate at which we should attempt to enter a black hole, but added that we’d have no way to tell which one. Hurrah? I wasn’t sure I trusted him anyway – he looked a bit suspicious.

Upon leaving the planet the book asked if I thought I had learned the time and space co-ordinates of the black hole that would take us home. I didn’t really have anything that looked like co-ordinates, but I used the information I had to make a guess, and we headed into a black hole. Sadly we never emerged. Among other things I was told that maybe our speed was a problem, which irked me somewhat – I actually had some information about the speed at which we should have entered the black hole, but was never asked for it! Bah.

Conclusion: Failure. I can only assume that I was fed the wrong information. I knew I should never have trusted that big-headed alien.

Number of combats: 3

Attempt #2

Stats rolled: SKILL 9, STAMINA 16, LUCK 10, WEAPONS STRENGTH 9, SHIELDS 14

Mediocre stats all round for the crew this time, except for my Science Officer who was very handy with a scalpel…

Sooo, sucked through black hole, etc etc. My first encounter was with a familiar-looking ship belonging to a commander of the Imperial Ganzig Confederation. Remembering that they had proved officious but harmless on our previous meeting, I decided to be as friendly as possible. My resolve was tested, however, when my brief hesitation was rewarded with a glancing shot which damaged my ship’s shields. Muttering under my breath, I allowed their officer to come aboard. I even took him to the computer room as he requested. He took this opportunity to insert something into the computer which read the memory and transmitted it back to the alien ship. Ahh, USB – truly a universal standard. My ship would now be at a disadvantage if It ever entered into combat with Ganzigites. By this point I was becoming rather annoyed, in quite an English way (“I’ll be writing a stern letter to the Confederation!”). Eventually I was allowed to meet with the High Commander, who was a friendly enough fellow, but provided me with no useful information (suggesting that I explore the galaxy for clues does not qualify as ‘useful’) and then fiddled with my ship’s computer to prevent me ever firing on Ganzigite ships at all, before sending me on my way. Stupid Ganzigites.

Heading to a dull blue planet, we beamed down on to a deserted street... uh-oh. A very familiar deserted street. I couldn’t remember learning anything here last time, so I thought I’d try some different options. Entering a nearby building, I was greeted by a very alien-looking alien, which bellowed at my approach. However he soon calmed down, we had a nice chat, and I was on my way again. Meeting the aliens in the main building at the end of the street, I declined the ‘general tour’ which resulted in an unseemly fracas last time, and headed straight for the travel and maps room, where once again we learned nothing of use. Returning to the Traveller, I left a note floating in space, just in front of the ship’s viewport, saying “Stupid Planet – do not visit” for the benefit of our future incarnations.

At this point we had the option to visit the red planet where I was fairly sure we found some information – as there was no alternative other than ignoring it and moving on I thought we might as well. We beaming down on to the deserted street, greeted the suddenly-appearing alien, killed the suddenly-appearing alien and continued on. This time ignoring the building where we found the (potentially faulty) information last time, we continued on to another, larger construction. Inside we found a strange, diseased-looking fellow with a VDU, who bravely helped us discover a Stardate at which a black hole would be open. Hopefully this nugget of information would not be bogus!

Back on the ship, we headed towards a small star cluster, but ended up in the midst of a meteor storm. Raising the ship’s shields, we made it through with only a scratch. The next crisis took the form of a freezer malfunction. Apparently the loss of one of our freezers had reduced us to 48 hours’ worth of supplies. If we had many freezers, why were we travelling in deep space with so few provisions and not particularly concerned? If we only had a couple of freezers, why did we only have a couple of freezers? In space, no-one can hear you apply logic. My new mission was clear – find supplies for the crew by searching the galaxy for clues as to where information might be found that will lead us to people who will be able to give us the exact co-ordinates of the galaxy in which we will find a planet upon which we can build a civilisation that will evolve to the point that we can manufacture probes that will scour the universe for a book called ‘How to Cook For Humans’.

Alternatively, we could check that planet over there. No, not the blue one, it’s completely covered in water and we’d probably drown if we beamed down there. Ahahaha. Wouldn’t that be silly?

Beaming down on to the green planet with two officers, we found ourselves in a dense jungle. Something was crashing through the undergrowth towards us, so naturally we hid ourselves in the shadows. Unfortunately the shadows also contained a horrible beast, which promptly stomped on my Security Officer, crushing him to death. As I span around, another leg came down, there was the horrifying sound of a pair of glasses snapping, and my Science Officer joined his colleague in Flatsville. Slightly put out by this turn of events, I drew my phaser and aimed at the creature. It decided I didn’t look very tasty and wandered off. I took the opportunity to hack down some edible-looking plants to replenish supplies on the ship (let’s see… a few months worth of food for a crew of 500 or so… could be here a while…) However the plants took exception to this idea, and started to defend themselves. I stopped hacking at them to show them I meant no (further) harm, but this failed to placate them and they throttled the life out of me. Still, one less mouth to feed, eh?

Conclusion: Failure. Om nom nom.

Number of combats: 0

Attempt #3

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 17, LUCK 8, WEAPONS STRENGTH 7, SHIELDS 13

Good stats for most of the crew, too. Let’s hope they get more of an outing this time…

Once again finding ourselves in an alien universe, we plotted a different course to last time, heading towards a nearby barren system. We had not travelled far, however, before my Engineering Officer informed me that our passage through the black hole had damaged our reactor, resulting in a serious fuel shortage (why this damage never occurred on previous attempts remains a mystery). In search of the precious ore I sensibly decided to investigate a nearby asteroid cluster. Some ore was present but it would require me to send one of my men out into the whirling mass with a jet pack. Not just any man, however – for some reason I was forced to send one of my officers.

My Science Officer kindly volunteered for the task, donned his jet pack and passed through the air lock. Making his way to one of the asteroids, he successfully managed to gather some ore and began to make his way back to the ship. My sense of triumph did not last long, however – a rapidly-moving asteroid appeared from nowhere and crashed into my hapless officer, destroying his suit and making a bit of a mess. One officer down, I did the only sensible thing and send my Security Officer out there. Despite the previous asteroid presumably still containing plenty of ore, we had a bad feeling about it (certain death tends to have this effect on people) and chose a different one. My officer landed successfully, but while collecting the ore another giant rock was just passing by and… wham! My Security Officer was vaporised. Contemplating a wonderful start to our voyage, I was now determined to persevere, and sent my reluctant Engineering Officer to make another attempt. Picking a different asteroid, he managed to harvest some ore, but not enough to refuel the ship. He moved on to the next, collected some more, headed back to the ship and… wham! He punched me on the back of the head as he re-entered the ship. Soon we were on our way again.

We approached a lifeless-looking planet and considered our options. Suddenly a small ship appeared and took a pot-shot at us. Attempts at communication failed and I was forced to issue the command to engage in battle. The enemy ship was a nimble opponent and we took some damage during the fight, but emerged triumphant. We then beamed down to the planet, which seemed as deserted as it first appeared. One of my crew members decided to drink the water, which I was dubious about but too late to prevent. We then decided that this was a Boring Planet and beamed back up to the ship.

Perhaps predictably, drinking the water had dangerous consequences. En route to our next destination, I was called to the canteen to deal with a disturbance. The drinker had gone slightly mental and attacked fellow crew members. After an almighty struggle we managed to sedate him and my Medical Officer came up with an effective cure. The crew member later woke up with a rotten headache and a faint uneasy feeling.

Heading for a nearby star, we entered the orbit of a planet containing intelligent life, and made contact with an extremely friendly alien who invited me to come down for a chat. I accepted the offer and upon arrival asked to be shown to the Department of Astronomy, agreeing to leave my weapon behind when requested. Unfortunately the friendly welcome ended there – a blow to the back of my head rendered my insensible long enough for the aliens to strap me into a large chair and begin the process of cloning me. Their plan was to use a replica of me to persuade my crew to abandon my ship to the aliens. Fortunately I was cunning enough to fix in my mind the concept that the replica would mention a certain planet, and not be able to lie when asked a question. The mention of the planet made my Science Officer suspicious, so when the replica gave the order, he responded by questioning it, and the plot was uncovered. Under threat of attack from my ship’s phasers, the aliens agreed to let me go – sadly with no useful information whatsoever.

Ignoring a familiar, useless planet nearby, we entered the orbit of another equally familiar, useless planet, leaving again as soon as the opportunity arose. Given the choice between a couple more familiar, useless destinations, I chose to investigate a familiar, useless grey planet and then de-investigate as soon as I could. Despite the prompt retreat from the infected place, I still managed to lose some engineering staff who investigated too enthusiastically. I ordered the docking bay sealed off and evacuated the air, which solved the problem and we were soon on our way again.

Finally offered the chance to visit somewhere new, we approached a blue planet and made contact with a member of its alien government. He invited me to beam down and chat, but I would have to come alone. I was highly suspicious of this, wondering what kind of bizarre experiment I would be forced to endure this time, but I wasn’t going to find the information I needed by turning down such invitations. Greeting the official in his office, I was soon offered food and drink, and was too polite to refuse. Of course, the food was drugged (a blow to the back of the head would have been more efficient, if less civilised) and I woke up in some kind of laboratory where I was unceremoniously shoved through a portal into another dimension. A dimension that seemed to contain nothing but a series of twisting pathways through empty space. After wandering aimlessly for some time, I was eventually offered the chance to step off the end of a dead end path into the void. I did so without a second thought (I was really bored by this point) and found myself back in the lab. The aliens were pleased with the success of their experiment, and furnished me with the location of a black hole which may be a portal back to my own universe. I then beamed back up to the ship before they developed an interest in human biology.

The next planet was volcanic and devoid of life, so naturally I decided it would be a grand idea to check it out in detail. We made our way to the place that was clearly most likely to provide us with information regarding our route home – the crater of a raging volcano. Disappointed that the stardate required was not inscribed on a nearby rock, we edged closer to the edge, peering down into the molten lava in search of clues. Briefly pondering a quick sacrifice to the god of Google Maps (Space Edition), I stealthily edged up behind my Security Officer. Unfortunately I tripped over a rock, had a small panic attack and decided to beam everyone back up to the ship.

The next point of interest was a spaceport where we prepared to dock for repairs. However, we received a confused message warning us not to dock. I decided to risk it as our shields were fairly damaged, and I was still in dire need of information. Upon docking we were able to get the ship repaired but were informed that we were exposed to an infection that was spreading throughout the spaceport. We hurriedly retreated to the ship, and fortunately none of the crew were affected. For a change.

We then approached a planet called Malini, which we were invited to visit by an alien who suggested that we may be interested in attending a sporting event known as the Contests. The co-ordinates he gave me were unclear, however, so I had to guess at a few of the numbers. We beamed down and I immediately suspected I had chosen wrongly when a siren sounded and armed aliens surrounded us on all sides. Remaining calm, I allowed us to be escorted to a detention room, where I attempted to persuade the supervisor of our plight. Despite putting forward what I believed a good case, he found my story highly implausible. We were then escorted to another room and I realised that we were to be entered into the Contests. Emerging into a large arena, we were forced to fight a heavily armed robot . None of us were unscathed but we emerged victorious. When we were congratulated by an official I merely had to mention our mission and he instantly agreed to help us – clearly something about my prowess in battle made me more convincing. He led us to his headquarters, where he gave us the details of a sector which contained what he believed to be the black hole we were looking for. Unfortunately this information was contradictory to that provided by the previous helpful aliens, which would leave me at best a 50/50 chance of success later on.

Returning to the ship, we plotted our next course. Ignoring a wheel-shaped structure that smelled distinctly of Ganzigite, we beamed down on to a lifeless-looking planet. My Engineering Officer took an interest in some nearby rocks while I had a brief look around and decided it was a Boring Planet. Upon trying to contact the ship, however, I discovered that my signal was being jammed by the magnetic rocks all around us. I was then helpfully informed that I had only beamed down to the surface with enough oxygen to survive for 20 minutes. At this point I succeeded at another SKILL roll only to be told that I couldn’t think of a solution to the problem and that our journey was over. Assuming this to be an error (this book seems to be riddled with them) I turned to the paragraph where I had the clever idea of heating up a couple of rocks with my phaser. Clearly this was some kind of code I was unaware of, as the crew aboard the ship immediately beamed us back to the Traveller.

Heading towards a nearby life-bearing planet, we were invited to visit by a bony alien called Luff. We materialised on some kind of island floating above the planet, where we saw a group of aliens and a couple of children. Unsure as to which of these aliens was Luff, I was bemused when one of the children took my hand and led me into a building. Here I was introduced to Luff, who himself was a child (you’d think I would have noticed that earlier). He explained that members of their race were born with high intelligence that deteriorated during their lifetime. Taking him up on his offer to help us find a way home, I was pleased when he gave us a date at which our universe would coincide with this one. In return I allowed him to have a look at our ship’s weapon systems. After all, he was only a kid – what danger could he cause us? After giving them a quick tour we were allowed to go on our way.

A hyperspace jump later and it was time to make a fateful decision. The information I had gathered regarding the black hole that would take us home consisted of a stardate and two possible sectors. Which was the correct one, if either? Which race of aliens did I trust the most – the ones who forced me to take part in a dangerous inter-dimensional experiment or the ones who put me into combat with a psychotic robot?

In the end I chose the former – they at least were intelligent enough to explore other dimensions, whereas the other race was a bunch of idiots whose man-slaying robot spectacularly failed to live up to its name. We set a course for the black hole and strapped ourselves in, losing consciousness as we were sucked into the void. Remarkably, my guess was correct and we woke to find ourselves back in our own universe. Whether we still had enough fuel to make it back to civilisation was left a mystery…

Conclusion: Success!

Review

Writing: This book was a bit of an opportunity for the writer to really cut loose and be creative. After all, it’s set in another universe full of alien landscapes, fantastic creatures and bizarre societies. Sadly very little of this came through in the writing. Descriptions are hurried and you never spend long enough on any one planet to get a real feel for the societies in which you find yourself getting involved. Most planetary visits follow the same pattern – beam down, meet some aliens, get into some kind of trouble, escape from the trouble and possibly, incidentally discover one of the pieces of information you need to get home. It feels a bit like the writer has attempted to cram too many isolated stories (each of which is like an episode of Star Trek) into a puzzlingly shortened book, and ends up barely scratching the surface of each. There was potential here, but mostly unrealised.

Writing: 2/5

Artwork: Obviously they went for a simplistic, futuristic style here, but it doesn’t work well at all. The illustrations are very dull and fail to inspire any imaginings of alien worlds and an epic space journey. None of them are detailed enough to fill in the gaps left by the narrative, and a couple of them look like they could have been drawn by small children.

Artwork: 1/5

Design: During the adventure I found myself constantly frustrated that I couldn’t go back and check out X planet that was mentioned a few moments ago because I chose to do something else first. I understand that this book was written in a linear fashion so there would be no possibility of confusion, but I can’t help but feel that it would have worked a lot better with a ‘sandbox’ approach. You could jump from system to system and visit planets as you wished, but there would be a time limit (perhaps imposed by diminishing fuel/food) to prevent you from simply visiting every single planet. Unfortunately the way it was written means that a single wrong decision about which planet to aim for early on can guarantee that you’ll miss one which is essential to your success.

It’s also a bit of a shame that once you know which planets you need to visit, the journey is pathetically simple, ensuring there is no replay value whatsoever. In fact it’s possible to complete the entire adventure without rolling a single die, by ignoring all the planets except the important ones – which don’t require any combat, or tests of skill.

Design: 1/5

Fairness: There aren’t many combats in this book, and as die rolling is completely avoidable on the correct path (although unlikely on a first play through) it is possible to succeed regardless of your initial statistics. There are quite a few instant death paragraphs but I only saw one which was really unfair – the inter-dimensional maze you must negotiate before receiving a vital piece of information has two exits, one of which leads to instant death – and there’s no narrative reason to choose one over the other.

Fairness: 4/5

Cheating index: At this point I will admit to a minor infraction of the rules – when I realised that a certain direction had taken me towards a route I had explored on a previous attempt, I went back and took the other option. It must be said that the nature of the book encourages this kind of behaviour. After the first few attempts it’s purely a case of re-visiting the same uninteresting encounters time and time again, in different combinations. I was lucky enough as it was – I passed at least two 50/50 decisions which could have led to failure.

1 Razaak

Average enemy stats

Successful path

Hand-to-hand combat: 1 encounter, SKILL 10, STAMINA 4

Ship-to-ship combat: 1 encounter, WEAPONS STENGTH 8, SHIELDS 7

Entire book

Hand-to-hand combat: 23 encounters, SKILL 7.7, STAMINA 9.1

Phaser combat: 14 encounters, SKILL 7.0

Ship-to-ship combat: 4 encounters, WEAPONS STRENGTH 8.3, SHIELDS 10.8

Instant death paragraphs: 13

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls –during the adventure die rolls can be avoided altogether if you know what you’re doing, TRUE

Final thoughts

A good premise let down by lazy writing and poor design. Success on the first attempt is extremely unlikely and subsequent playthroughs are repetitive and dull. This will take some beating in the ‘least favourite FF’ category…

Final score: 1/10

Links

Titannica page

Buy Starship Traveller on Amazon.co.uk

Playthroughs from other bloggers

Turn to 400
Fighting Dantasy
Seven Fourteen Seven
The Sidekickcast

Alternative gamebook titles

2012-05-22T20:59:00.002+01:00

I know, I know, it's been a while since my last post. Starship Traveller is well and truly underway, however, and the review will be posted as soon as I find my way back to the correct universe. In the meantime, I thought I'd share something which many of you may have seen before, but gave me an almighty chuckle when I stumbled across it - gamebook titles based purely on the cover illustrations, courtesy of mightygodking.com.

Lloyd of Gamebooks

2012-04-20T18:36:00.000+01:00

In a slight departure from my usual kind of posts (if I can claim to have a 'usual kind of post' after only three of them) I thought I'd give a quick mention to another gamebook blogger called Stuart Lloyd. Despite already being a rather prolific blogger he decided that he'd do something called the 'April A to Z' and make one post (or several!) every day of the month. This involved interviewing everyone involved in the gamebook hobby that he could get his hands on, which has led to a bucketload of extremely interesting insights from major players in the industry and hobbyists alike.

(This is of course nothing at all to do with the fact that my interview was posted today...)

Visit his blog here: http://virtualfantasies.blogspot.co.uk/

Fighting Fantasy #3 - The Forest of Doom

2012-04-15T21:16:00.001+01:00

Title: The Forest of Doom

Author: Ian Livingstone

Illustrator: Malcolm Barter

Published: 1983

Level of previous knowledge: Quite low for this one. I remember the quest items and that one of them was in a tomb of some kind, but almost nothing else. Except there’s a forest.

Plot summary: The plot is a bit thin, to be honest. I’m an apparently bloodthirsty adventurer, interested in nothing more than battle and wealth. A dying dwarf passes his quest on to me – to fetch an ancient hammer which, for some reason, is hidden somewhere in Darkwood Forest, and return it to Gillibran, the Lord of Stonebridge. Sure, why not?

Rules: Standard rules – nothing fancy here.

Click here to skip the adventure log

Adventure Log:

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 11, STAMINA 16, LUCK 10

Nice stats, so I didn’t anticipate any STAMINA problems. I chose to start with the Potion of Luck, just in case.

So off I went, taking my newly-acquired gold to Yaztromo’s tower, in search of magical items to protect me against the creatures of the forest. Being a seasoned adventurer I was somewhat sceptical as to whether I needed such assistance, but it couldn’t hurt to look. Upon arrival I was greeted by the grumpy wizard and followed him inside, resisting the immediate urge to attack him and steal all his stuff (a seasoned adventurer knows that this almost never works).

I purchased the following items: Potion of Healing, Potion of Stillness, Potion of Anti-Poison, Holy Water, Ring of Light, Boots of Leaping, Net of Entanglement, Armband of Strength, Glove of Missile Dexterity, Headband of Concentration, Nose Filters.

Yaztromo then supplied some further information regarding my quest. Apparently the hammer I’m looking for was dropped into the forest and found by two goblins, who went their separate ways, each with a separate part of the hammer. Why they did this, or who witnessed the event, is a mystery.

Taking my leave of the crotchety wizard, I marched into the forest and was presented with several directional choices with no indication of what might lay down each path. Choosing at random, I walked for a while before finding a wooden hut in a small clearing. I was already bored by this point, so I peered through the window in a perfectly innocent manner. Inside I saw an old woman being attended by a hunchbacked servant. Assuming her to be some kind of evil witch (good guys tend not to employ hunchbacks) I entered the hut with the intention of teaching her a lesson, or at least stealing all her stuff. I’m not completely unmerciful, however, and first attempted to engage her in conversation, to give her a chance to atone for all her evil deeds. She seemed to find this amusing, and laughed at me while the book informed me that ‘she is an evil woman’ and deducted a LUCK point. Somewhat confused by this (maybe her laugh put some kind of curse on me?) I drew my sword and she reacted by pulling some flowers out of a drawer and rubbing petals on her hands. Like any good, seasoned adventurer, I thought “Let’s just see where she’s going with this…” and procrastinated while the room filled with an odd smell and my vision started to swim. Fortunately my Headband of Concentration saved me from a fragrant death, and I recovered my wits in time to avoid a chair shot from the hunchbacked minion. Sadly the witch turned into a bat and escaped, so I was left alone with the now sobbing creature while I searched the hut for anything of value. A rummage through the books turned up a necklace called the Eye of Amber along with a parchment suggesting that the item could be used to force someone to tell nothing but the truth.

Pushing on through the forest, I noticed a large hole in a tree on the side of the path. Of course, I couldn’t possibly pass by without reaching in for a feel around. I was rewarded with a bite on the arm from some unidentified critter and a bronze helmet, which turned out to be magical. Why such an object was left in a tree trunk for anyone to find I’ve no idea, but I’m sure the story would be a fascinating one.

Coming to another junction, I chose a direction again at random, before arriving at another where I was informed that I decided to ignore one of the paths and head north instead. On the side of the path I saw an old oak chair upon which I was offered the opportunity to sit – I could imagine no benefit to doing so, however, so I passed by without a second glance. Before long my peaceful walk was rudely interrupted by an unfriendly boar which helpfully ran into my sword and collapsed in a heap. Denied the opportunity to make bacon sandwiches, I stole its nose ring and continued on my way.

Again deciding to ignore a perfectly viable path, I was herded northwards again. I came across a well-muscled man who was staked out in the sun with vultures circling overhead. I was given the option of freeing him or ignoring him, and not the options I would have been more likely to choose, such as talking to him or putting him out of his misery. Against my better judgement I freed him, and was rewarded for this service when the barbarian attacked me with a wooden stake. He was a remarkably good fighter considering his condition, but I slew him without much trouble.

Coming to a shallow river, I chose to wade across rather than trust the stepping stones. This decision backfired, however, when an eel started nipping at my leg. Again I defeated my mighty adversary without injury and clambered out of the river, then set up camp for the night. My sleep was interrupted by three vampire bats, which too met their doom at the blade of my sword. Feeling quite invincible by this point, I continued my journey the next morning with optimism. Unfortunately this didn’t last, as after a couple of turnings I blundered straight into a pit trap. I avoided serious injury though, and I had my Boots of Leaping handy, so escaping the pit was simplicity itself.

Soon I found a rock with a sword sticking out of it. Mighty warrior that I was, I couldn’t resist the urge to give it a quick tug, and would you believe it, it turned out that I was the one the sword had been waiting for. At this point I was fairly happy about the new gear I had acquired so far on this trip, but was becoming slightly concerned that I had found no sign of either of the pieces of the hammer I was looking for. Passing up the opportunity to dive into a pool of mud (doing something like this in a place nicknamed ‘The Forest of Doom’ didn’t seem like the smartest idea), I was then attacked by a pterodactyl. My shiny new sword made short work of the random dinosaur. After congratulating myself on another peerless display of combat skills, I spotted a yellow arrow painted on the grass. Shrugging my shoulders, I followed it in the hope that it might lead me to some clue as to the whereabouts of the hammer parts (I was aware that this was highly unlikely, but nothing much made sense around here anyway).

I was disappointed to arrive at a dead tree trunk, but apparently believing this one to be more interesting than the thousands of others around me, I examined it more closely. Aided by the Ring of Light I looked inside and noticed that it seemed to lead to a tunnel under the ground. Taking leave of my senses, I jumped down and duly broke my leg. Pondering the lack of STAMINA loss, I drank the Potion of Healing I had been saving for this kind of occasion and my leg mended itself. Crawling along the tunnel, I eventually came to a slimy cavern populated by a race of alien-looking humanoids, tending to coloured fungi. At this point I was offered the chance to attack one of the vacant-eyed creatures (seemingly a bad idea when there were so many of them), chop down some fungi (I’m no botanist, but I was sure nothing good could come from that), or asking to eat some of the fungi. What I was not offered was the opportunity to ignore everything and leave via the stairs. Choosing what I hoped was the lesser of several evils, I chopped at a nearby fungus, choked on the expected cloud of spores, and was then informed that there was no point staying here any longer. Le sigh.

Climbing the stairs, I found a shield in a barrel and some gold in a chest, before entering an alcove to find more of the strange pale-skinned humanoids. These ones, however, were aggressive and I was forced to reduce them to puddles of coloured liquid. Continuing up the stairs, I encountered an extremely scary-looking Fire Demon and was once again forced to fight. For the first time, I was actually wounded in combat, but eventually the demon was a smouldering heap on the floor and the clone warriors were kneeling before me in supplication. Refusing the options to wear the demon’s crown or sit on his throne, I ascended the steps and found myself outside again. This time I was convinced that I’d missed something important here, but the only way was onwards.

Next I came to a small stone building. Investigating, I found a locked door which I attempted to charge down. Unfortunately I bounced off the door and, fragile weakling that I am, was too tired to muster a second attempt. Reluctantly, convinced that I’d missed something important (again), I continued through the forest. Entering a small clearing, I realised I was now in the lair of something large and scary, so naturally I stopped to search for shinies. The large and scary wyvern swept down and attempted to start a barbeque, but was briefly disappointed as I hacked it to bits. Finding two items of note in its nest – a gauntlet and a ring - I decided to avoid the obvious 50/50 chance of Bad Stuff happening and pushed on.

Further down the path I was accosted by a group of bandits, who demanded five items from my backpack. With shiny new sword, shiny new helmet and shiny new shield, I felt pretty good about my chances in combat so I refused their kind offer. They had no more luck than the other denizens of the forest however, and their bodies were left as fertiliser, minus the meagre sum of two gold pieces.

I was less than ecstatic to emerge from the forest not long after, knowing that I had arrived at my destination without either part of the hammer. Unable to face the king of the dwarves (although I assume he wasn’t expecting me and might have appreciated hearing the news of what happened to the party who went looking for the hammer) I decided to walk back around the edge of the woods to start all over again. Obviously it’s a one-way forest. Unfortunately on the way I was attacked by wild hill men and my arrow-peppered corpse was left for the crows.

Conclusion: Failure. Despite being virtually superhuman compared to most of the evils of the forest, I found no sign whatsoever of either part of the fabled hammer. Now I wish I’d kept a map…

Number of combats: 18

Attempt #2

Stats rolled: SKILL 8, STAMINA 20, LUCK 11

OK, this should be more challenging. I know a certain fire demon I’ll be avoiding this time…

My shopping list this time consisted of: Potion of Healing, Potion of Plant Control, Potion of Stillness, Potion of Insect Control, Potion of Stillness, Holy Water, Boots of Leaping, Net of Entanglement, Armband of Strength, Garlic Buds, Fire Capsules, and Nose Filters.

Taking a slightly different route to last time, I soon heard a cry for help from somewhere off the path. Investigating, I found a man dressed in dark robes and a mask, who had apparently got himself caught in a bear trap. Helping him out (well, what I could see of his face was trustworthy) we had a brief chat and he wandered off in search of his brother. Only then did I notice that he’d made off with all 1 of my gold pieces!

My next encounter was a small goblin sitting at the roadside. Confident that I could handle the situation if he became hostile, I attempted to question him. Unfortunately this seemed to upset him, and he metamorphosed into a large spiky shapechanger. Sadly he did not give me a chance to placate or trick him; the ensuing combat did not go well for me, and my second attempt ended under his raking claws.

Conclusion: Failure. Of the abject variety. My poor SKILL score made this kind of ending inevitable I guess. I obviously hadn’t learned my lesson from the first attempt – trying to be nice to anyone in the Forest of Doom is a daft idea…

Number of combats: 1

Attempt #3

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 19, LUCK 11

Much better. Maybe I’ll go back and teach that shapechanger a lesson…

As I barely had a chance to get started last time, I chose the same items from Yaztromo’s selection: Potion of Healing, Potion of Plant Control, Potion of Stillness, Potion of Insect Control, Potion of Stillness, Holy Water, Boots of Leaping, Net of Entanglement, Armband of Strength, Garlic Buds, Fire Capsules, and Nose Filters.

My first encounter was with a talking crow. Being a bird lover, I stopped for a chat and then paid a gold piece for its advice. When I mentioned the goblins I was looking for, it directed me northwards. Deciding to take the crow’s word for it (crows are good omens, right?), I continued in the direction indicated. Soon I heard voices up ahead. Wondering if it could really be this easy to find the hammer-stealing goblins, I drew my sword and waited. Sadly the creatures that showed up were hobgoblins, and a search of their corpses yielded a meagre amount of gold, some maggot-infested biscuits, a flute and a necklace made from mouse skulls. Obviously these items would be vital to my quest, so I gathered them up and stored them in my pack.

Soon afterwards I noticed a large hole by the side of the path, and was warned that ‘some huge creature’ had left a load of slime all over the place. Taking leave of my senses entirely, I made my way down to the bottom and landed carefully on my backside. The resident Sting Worm took exception to my visit, however (those bones over there obviously belonged to travelling salesmen), and I was forced to defend myself. I took a nasty beating but eventually prevailed, helping myself to some more gold pieces and a potion of some kind. Trusting that the potion would be my reward for overcoming a tough monster, I quickly gulped it down (sipping is for sissies). I was pleased to discover that it was a Potion of Weapon Skill, which would last for the next two combats. Wondering if I could avoid any more combats between now and the potential fire demon/wyvern up ahead, I clambered out of the slimy lair and continued on.

The next point of interest along the path was a cave, occupied by an ogre and a small, caged creature. Considering my options, I decided that the sensible thing to do was to throw a rock at the ogre (What? I don’t like ogres). Of course I missed by a mile, and therefore decided to dash headlong into the cave instead. Slaying the ogre was a straightforward task. As I looked around the cave, the caged creature seemed to become agitated, so I looked closer and realised he was a goblin, with a shiny rod hanging around his neck. Promising! Freeing the goblin from his prison (sadly there was no option to shiv him where he stood), I was unsurprised when the little wretch tried to kill me. He failed, of course, and I was rewarded with the handle of the dwarfish warhammer. Now I was getting somewhere! I also found a silver box which emitted noxious fumes upon opening – however rather than simply run out of the cave I decided to stay put, fumble in my pack for my Nose Filters, insert them into my nostrils, wait around for a while until the fumes dissipated, and then leave the cave.

Not far down the path, I walked straight into a trap and ended up hanging by my foot from a tree. Fortunately I was able to cut myself free and continued on my way. I then climbed up to a tree house and met its owner, an angry, bone-wielding ape man. Drawing my sword, I struggled to fight effectively up in the branches, and only managed to dispatch the creature after taking a few wounds myself. Finding nothing but a copper bracelet in the house, I left it be (just look at the state of its previous owner) and climbed back down to the path.

The next attempt on my life came from two pygmies who fired darts at me from blowpipes. They missed, and I couldn’t be bothered chasing them off into whatever traps they hoped to lead me into, so I continued onwards. Next was a swarm of killer bees, which were repelled by the handy Potion of Insect Control I kept for such an occasion (sadly its effects did not extend to being able to command the bees to fetch the hammer for me, or form a frightening travelling companion).

I soon came to a river, and chose to use the rickety old bridge rather than wading through the unknown horrors of the water. Surprisingly there was no hint of the bridge collapsing – not so much as an ominous creak – and I made it across safely. Setting down for the night, I was awoken by the howl of wolves and was forced to slay three of them. Happily I suffered no further ill effects from the wounds I sustained and went back to sleep.

The next day I came across a fully furnished, but empty, hut. Wondering at how this isolated pocket of civilisation came to exist within the deadly Forest of Doom, I thought I’d investigate – and by investigate I mean loot whatever I could. Lifting a heavy chest, I was able to smash it on the floor, to discover a large blue egg of some kind. The egg then exploded, injuring me badly. Rather than stay in the hut and rest for a while, I decided to immediately limp northwards along the path. Reaching an area with large boulders scattered around the path, I was alarmed to see one of them rocking from side to side. Deciding against further investigation this time, I hurried past. Further down the path, a tiny grey cloud appeared out of nowhere and zapped me with lightning. O_o

Continuing on, I arrived at a familiar stone building. Once again lacking the key, I was forced to attempt to break it down again. This time I was successful, and I descended the steps within, lit a conveniently-placed candle, and found myself in a room which could only be described as a crypt. Annoyingly I was out of luck again, however, as I required Dust of Levitation to lift the stone slab. Anything hidden behind two obstacles (the door and the slab) such as this could only be important, and given the lack of any way to head back through the forest to try and find the elusive item, I briefly considered giving up there and then. In the end I decided to continue on, with the intention of using the ‘go back to the other end of the forest and start again’ option so beloved of many previous adventurers.

So on I went, not bothering with the wyvern’s lair and giving the bandits some gold to shut them up. I walked into the middle of Stonebridge, immediately wondered why I had bothered doing do without the quest items required, and wandered off again. This time I survived the trip back around the forest, and eventually found myself back at Yaztromo’s tower.

Strangely the wizard did not recognise me, and I had to explain myself all over again. I bought a potion of anti-poison with the meagre funds I had remaining, and departed for the forest once more. Heading westwards, I ignored the yells from the trapped thief and made a beeline for the friendly shapechanger. I immediately drew my sword and was able to avenge my former self, but not without taking a few wounds in the process. Sadly he had no possessions to speak of. I refused the opportunity to eat some mushrooms I found nearby, doubting that they contained any Dust of Levitation.

Moving on, I ignored the chair of probable death and casually dispatched an unfriendly wild boar. Eventually I arrived at a hut, inside which I met a delusional, muscle-bound fellow who claimed that he made a living by arm wrestling. Where he found his opponents in this place, I had no idea – maybe goblins are even stupider than they look. Slipping my Armband of Strength on, I defeated him easily, and won my prize – a phial containing Dust of Levitation. Finally my goal was in sight!

Onwards I went, waving cheerfully to the ungrateful barbarian as the vultures ate his eyeballs, and crossed the river, again choosing the path of least getting-wet-ness. As was traditional by this point, I was rudely awoken from my slumber in the middle of the night. Fortunately the garlic buds I was carrying were enough to repel the vampire bats and I slept soundly, not to mention bravely, for the rest of the night.

The next morning I was minding my own business, wending my way down a rocky path, when a couple of scruffy, beardy blokes leapt out from behind a boulder and stuck an arrow in me. Incensed, I chopped them into small pieces, and looted a silver key from the remains. Later in the day, a gnome offered me some information in exchange for some treasure. I forked over the wild boar’s nose ring, and he told me what I already knew – that there was a crypt nearby containing a skeleton. Glad that I was apparently on the right path, I continued on my way.

I soon came across yet another hut (this was an incredibly civilised Forest of Doom) where I sensibly decided to grab a mysterious vase containing an ‘eerie blackness’ and give it a good shake. When this produced no interesting results, I smashed it on the floor and the whole hut started to vibrate. Fortunately I was carrying a Potion of Stillness (for this exact situation, to be sure) and drank it while the hut fell apart around me. Never let it be said that I fled from a collapsing building.

Finally I arrived back at the crypt that had foiled me on two previous occasions. Smugly producing the silver key from my pack, I unlocked the door and descended into the darkness. I then sprinkled the Dust of Levitation on the stone slab, which lifted to reveal a hostile ghoul. Happily I was equipped for this eventuality as well, and splashed holy water on the creature until it crawled into a corner, where I left it sobbing uncontrollably. In the coffin I found what I was hoping for – the head of the sacred hammer!

Leaving the crypt behind, I made a beeline for my final destination, as I now had both pieces of the dwarfs’ precious weapon. Avoiding the wyvern’s lair, I meekly met the bandits’ demands for treasure – none but the hammer itself would do me any good beyond this point, so fighting them would have been a pointless risk. At last I emerged from the forest, and was given a hero’s welcome by the dwarfs of Stonebridge. Gillibran handed over a shiny helmet and enough jewels and gems to make me extremely rich, and make me wonder why he didn’t just spend it all on a better hammer than the piece of junk I’d just handed over. I guess I should have been relieved that he didn’t insist on me marrying his lovely bearded daughter. Ho well – apparently the people of the village were saved, which was more than could be said for the trolls.

Conclusion: Success! Not so bad once you know the route - you can safely ignore everything else and just go for the items you need.

Number of combats: 13

Review

Writing: A little disappointing. The descriptions are extremely basic and the environments sparsely detailed. This meant that when choosing which path to take, there was no reason to choose one direction over another, because they are simply described as ‘east’ or ‘west’. In a dark dungeon setting this is forgivable, but in a rich outdoor environment like a forest it seems lazy. Even after playing through several times, nothing about the writing really stands out as being memorable. Also the main hero seems to be the most shallow character imaginable, with no background to speak of, and no motivation for taking on the quest beyond the fact that it might bag him a few shinies. The book is also lacking any kind of big boss or final encounter, so the ending was a bit flat.

All of this made it quite difficult to immerse myself in the story and contributed to this review taking much longer than the previous ones.

Writing: 1/5

Artwork: A bit of a mixed bag – the interior illustrations are extremely detailed but some are almost too detailed – for instance the arm wrestling fellow’s muscles! I also felt that a couple of the more significant monsters in the book could have been depicted better.

Artwork: 2/5

Design: The layout of the forest allows a broader range of paths through the adventure, and at any given point there are four or five different branches you could be on. This does of course mean that it’s very easy to miss the quest items. There is a vague true path, which involves making sure that you pass three vital locations on your way through. Everything else is strictly optional. I quite like the fact that the items you can buy at the start of the adventure can all be used to resolve certain situations later on, but it’s a shame that you are never asked which item you would like to try – you are told what the correct item is and you simply answer yes or no. This removes any kind of decision-making form the situation and makes it feel less interactive overall.

In such an open environment and without any time pressure to speak of, I frequently found myself slightly frustrated by the text telling me that I decide to ignore a certain path and simply head northwards. The game is structured in such a way that prevents you exploring the whole forest in one adventure – this is perhaps fair enough as it adds replay value, and most games are designed this way – but drawing attention to the fact that you are unable to explore certain paths for no particular in-game reason seems like a poor way to handle it.

Design: 2/5

Fairness: Apart from a solitary goblin, all other direct combat is avoidable, and while there are a few fights which can be very tough, there is nothing that an average adventurer wouldn’t stand a chance at winning against. The correct route will probably not be found on the first attempt but the ability to go back to the beginning and start again means that you should manage it if you can survive long enough. There is some argument for not taking this option too seriously, however, as the encounters are not set up to cope with the fact that you may have already been there earlier, and you could in theory end up with several hammer heads or shafts…

Fairness: 5/5

Cheating index: 0 Razaaks

Average enemy stats

Successful path

13 encounters, SKILL 7.0, STAMINA 6.9

Entire book

68 encounters, SKILL 6.5, STAMINA 6.1

Instant death paragraphs: 4

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls – If you find the best route, a single goblin and a few lucky rolls are all that stand between you and victory, TRUE

Final thoughts

I didn’t enjoy this gamebook as much as the previous two – I struggled to stay engaged with the lacklustre story and sparsely described environment. The book isn’t entirely without its highlights though, and it’s worth a go if you want a book that isn’t too taxing.

Final score: 3/10

Links

Titannica page

Buy The Forest of Doom on Amazon.co.uk

Playthroughs from other bloggers

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Fighting Fantasy #2 - The Citadel of Chaos

2012-03-03T20:37:00.000+00:00

Title: The Citadel of Chaos

Author: Steve Jackson

Illustrator: Russ Nicholson

Published: 1983

Level of previous knowledge: I remember the objective very well, and some of the encounters, but the specifics of the route and what items are needed along the way are completely unknown to me. As with TWoFM, I suspect some things will come back to me as I go along.

Plot summary: Once again I’m to invade the home of a wizard-type person with the intention of murdering him and stealing his treasure. What? There’s no treasure this time? Pah…

OK, so this time there’s a reason for all the madness. Apparently Balthus Dire is assembling an army of Chaotics and is preparing to attack the peaceful Vale. The king has called for his assassination and for some reason, rather than sending a squad of elite ninjas or a fleet of dragons, he’s asked a wizard’s apprentice to enter the Citadel, fight past all the evil minions and take out the sorcerer on his own.

Rules: Standard rules with one major addition – the magic system. This lets me choose 2D6+6 spells from a list: Creature Copy, E.S.P., Fire, Fool’s Gold, Illusion, Levitation, Luck, Shielding, Skill, Stamina, Strength and Weakness.

Click here to skip the adventure log

Adventure Log:

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 8, STAMINA 15, LUCK 12, MAGIC 11

Spells selected: Creature Copy x2, Fire, Fool’s Gold, Illusion, Levitation x2, Shielding, Stamina, Strength, Weakness

Not remembering much of the adventure, I went for a wide selection of spells, making sure to take two Creature Copy spells to help accommodate my fairly poor combat skills. I did vaguely remember that the Levitation spell comes in handy somewhere late on so I grabbed a couple of those too, along with three Stamina spells.

At the gates to the Citadel I met the bizarre guards – a dog-ape and an ape-dog. To those unfamiliar with this book – yes, you read that right. It has been postulated that Steve Jackson was already running out of ideas for monsters when it came to choosing the gate guards, however they’re no more bizarre than the usual array of unfortunate hybrids that dwell in these lands. One of them definitely got a better deal than the other, though. I was immediately given the option of bluffing them, bluffing them, or bluffing them. Picking the second option, I was forced to use a Fool’s Gold spell to prevent the situation getting ugly.

Entering the courtyard beyond, I saw a multitude of potential confrontations. My stats not quite being up to the standard they were in the first book, I decided that sneaking about was a sensible option. Despite this, I was pulled into an argument between two men over the price of a dagger. I went for a conservative estimate, not wanting to upset either of them particularly, and they came to an agreement. Apparently still pretending to be a merchant I then had an unhelpful conversation with the seller, but he did mention that merchants are despised inside the Citadel, so I made a mental note to abandon that particular charade.

The next denizen of the Citadel I came across (I’m obviously not very good at this sneaking thing) was a strange whirlwind woman. I convinced her that there was another similar creature in the courtyard that she’d apparently managed to avoid bumping into all these years, and ran off while she was distracted.

Knocking politely on the door to the keep, I was asked for a password by the rhino-man type thing within. I showed him a bunch of weeds I’d acquired from somewhere instead, and explained that I was a herbalist, in the hope that herbalists aren’t also despised here. Fortunately the creature displayed no more intelligence than the previous encounter and let me through.

After descending some steps and breaking down a door, I entered a room containing a small levitation man dressed in green. Upon seeing something flying at me, I proceeded to waste my Shielding spell to prevent myself from being hit by a tomato. Annoyed at the waste of a potentially critical spell, I drew my sword, only to find it floppified. Resigning myself to some kind of riddle, I asked his advice as to how to proceed, and received some cryptic guidance regarding the three doors before me. As the order of the doors was not specifically revealed to me, I made a couple of assumptions and went for what I thought was the middle door.

I instantly regretted this decision when I found myself blinded with some creature’s teeth embedded in my leg. Desperately using my Weakness spell to no effect, I ‘passed out’ from the pain. I awoke to discover that the whole experience was an illusory trick by the leprechaun! Ahahahahaha! Hilarious. Despite being annoyed at wasting yet another precious spell, I somehow found it in myself to forgive him, and we ended up having a friendly chat. He then handed over a shiny sword (with a most welcome +1 Attack Strength) and a mirror to help me on my way.

Once again picking the middle door, I eventually found myself confronting a dark figure in a wine cellar. Deciding that so far the denizens of this place haven’t been so bad, I opted to take the friendly approach, and he offered me a sample of one of his fine wines. Not wanting to appear uncouth, I accepted a sample of the Rosé, and promptly spilled all the details of my mission! Angered, I drew my sword and engaged in my first combat since entering the Citadel. Despite having an edge in combat skill, I was severely wounded before managing to finish him off. Sampling the red wine in the hope that it would have some kind of healing properties, I was disappointed that it made me hallucinate. At least this time I didn’t have a Shielding spell left to waste, instead being struck by an imaginary flying bottle and being unhurt.

The next room was guarded by some kind of stone golem. Anticipating that any move towards the door or the nearby boxes would cause it to attack, I again tried the diplomatic option and attempted to speak to it, to no avail. Reluctantly I moved forward and this produced the expected result. Feeling lucky, I used a Creature Copy spell and sat back to watch the ensuing fight, which my creation won easily. Turning my attention to the boxes, some fiddling around with keys earned me a human-faced spider in a jar, which I shoved into my pack – who wouldn’t want such a lovely gift item?

Arriving in a large dining room, I steer well clear of the suits of armour (just in case), and head upstairs. Picking a door at random, I warily pass some goblinesque children, who surprisingly make no move to impede my progress or alert anyone to my presence. Feeling like I’d missed something here, I continued up the stairs and picked another door (maybe I should have been making a note of which route I was taking?).

I entered what appeared to be someone’s living room, and met some kind of were-chair. Attempting once more to be polite got me nowhere, and he revealed himself as a were-chair-snake and slithered towards me threateningly while a dog’s head flew off the wall at me. Briefly wondering if this was some kind of delayed effect from the wine I drank earlier, I rummaged through my pack and attempted to bribe him with some gold pieces. Remarkably this worked, and I was allowed on my way, minus all my gold, for which (I hoped) I would have no further use anyway. They also warned me to beware of the Ganjees – this immediately rang a bell in the back of my mind – a bell that sounded like ‘oh crap’…

Casting one of my Stamina spells on the stairs, I entered the next, pitch black room with trepidation. I was met by ghostly white faces and immediately cowered like the brave adventurer I was. Gathering my wits, I attempted to chuck a Fire spell at the Ganjees, but it fizzled out immediately. Fumbling in my pack, all I could find was the spider in a jar – and would you believe it, he was a friend of theirs! They freed him and he scuttled over to me, bit me on the leg and I keeled over and died. Doh.

Conclusion: Failure. The meeting with the Ganjees brought back a few unpleasant memories. I’m guessing I needed one of the other items that were offered while I was rummaging through my pack, neither of which presented themselves to me on this playthrough. I guess next time I’ll try different doors…

Number of combats: 3 (one of which was won by a Creature Copy)

Attempt #2

Stats rolled: SKILL 12, STAMINA 16, LUCK 10, MAGIC 16

Spells selected: Creature Copy, E.S.P., Fire, Fool’s Gold x2, Illusion x2, Levitation x2, Luck, Shielding, Stamina x2, Strength x2, Weakness

More spells this time, but also a much better SKILL, so hopefully no need for more than one Creature Copy spell. Otherwise a fairly random selection as the only spell of much use to me last time was Fool’s Gold.

Approaching the bizarre guards again, I posed as a herbalist this time, to avoid having to spend my Fool’s Gold spell, but was then asked for the name of the guard I had come to visit! I guessed a name at random, and remarkably named a guard correctly, although the text did helpfully reduce the millions of potential options to a mere three.

In the courtyard I took a different route to last time (as I don’t recall finding anything useful previously), and met an old man who had been beaten about the head with a club and required some healing. Feeling his pain, I cast a Stamina spell on him. He appeared thankful and told me about the evil Ganjees who had beaten him, sadly not providing any information as to how I could avenge him. Moving on to the subject of the Citadel itself, he suddenly gasped in pain, unable to say anything, then attempted to bite my arm off. Feeling some empathy with the Ganjees who successfully sought my death in my previous incarnation, I bashed him on the head and moved on.

Inexplicably acquiring some berries from a gnarly-looking bush, I moved on towards the doors to the keep, with an occasional glance behind me. Knocking politely once more, I bluffed the guard on the premise that I could hopefully deal with him if it turned nasty, but violence was avoided and I was allowed in. Taking a different route again, I was presented with a bell which I rang to summon the butler. He looked like a trustworthy chap (left), so I followed his directions, only to come across a sleeping Gark (fortunately there was a picture and description to tell me what this was). Unfortunately my tiptoeing attempt was clumsy and he woke up. Fumbling for my sword, I stammered something about being a guest, and surprisingly the creature let me through, imploring me not to tell anyone that he was asleep at his guard post.

Taking a door at random, I found myself dragged into some kind of gambling den with a bunch of vaguely-described creatures. Not wanting to offend, I was told that I accepted a drink of ale, and downed it in one, obviously in an attempt to impress the creatures with my hardiness. Then I was asked to play a game, so I choose one called Runestones. Annoyingly this turns out to be a pass-the-ticking-bomb-type game, and my initial luck soon wore off, leaving me with burned hands and a SKILL penalty that would have crippled my previous character. Rather than doing the sensible thing and calling it quits at this point, I asked about the rules of the more tame-sounding game of Knifey-Knifey. This turned out to be even more dangerous than Runestones (who’d have thunk it?) and I was forced to use an Illusion spell to fake my participation while I sneaked off and found myself in the dining hall.

Even though I knew that the staircase I used last time was perfectly safe, I took the other route up to the balcony this time, that being the Levitation spell I cast when the stairs collapsed from under me.

Opening another door, I saw a large stone gargoyle on a pedestal. Having no sparkly jewel embedded in its head to tempt me with, it wasted no time trying to fool me and immediately advanced. A Weakness spell slowed it down enough for me to slip past, into a familiar corridor.

Choosing another door, I entered a room containing a large chest surrounded by a deep trench. Despite the obvious trap potential, I was becoming quite concerned by this point that I still hadn’t found anything that might help me against the Ganjees, so I cast a Strength spell and leapt heroically across the pit. Opening the chest, I find it full of lead shot, and my sense of triumph faded as I realised I did not have the required musket to load with it. I managed to jump back across the trench before my Strength spell faded and then opened the door on the other side of the room. However…

…this was the Ganjees’ room, and I still had nothing to offer them. Valiantly drawing my sword, I heard one of them yell ‘Boo!’ and bravely fled through the open balcony door. After a moment to catch my breath, I realised that I was in mid-air, I attempted to cast my remaining Levitation spell only to find that the Ganjees had sucked my mana pool dry and I became a stain on slopes of Craggen Rock.

Conclusion: Failure. A shame as I started with good stats. I found practically nothing of use during this run, so will be exploring new doors next time. There can’t be that many more, surely? Interestingly I made it that far without any combat – so much for SKILL 12, although it’s nice that there does seem to be an alternative to physical violence in most cases.

Number of combats: 0

Attempt #3

Stats rolled: SKILL 8, STAMINA 16, LUCK 12, MAGIC 14

Spells selected: Creature Copy x2, E.S.P., Fire, Fool’s Gold, Illusion, Levitation x2, Shielding, Stamina x3, Strength, Weakness

With stats remarkably similar to my first attempt, I chose a similar spell list also. I’m sure that E.S.P. spell will come in handy somewhere…

Armed to the teeth with prior knowledge, I had no problem with the guards. I strode boldly out into the courtyard, only for a voice to order me to halt, and an arrow to miss me by inches. A couple more steps and this happened again. Rather than become a pincushion I made a run for it, hoping to get out of range as quickly as possible, and was lucky enough to make it to the strange temple-like structure in the middle of the courtyard.

Inside were three chalices, each containing different coloured liquid, and some winged gremlins who scarpered as I approached. Picking a chalice at random (it would be rude not to), I drank and collapsed in a fit of giggles. Unable to try the others as well, I continued across the courtyard, and with my wits still addled by the chuckle potion, decided to prod at a mysterious mound on the floor. A second later a giant tentacle was wrapped around my leg and life wasn’t so funny any more. A timely Fire spell took care of it, however, and I was free to approach the door to the Citadel.

Successfully bluffing the guard again, I rang the bell for the butler, but this time ignored his direction and took a different passageway. Opening the first door I came to, I walked straight into a trap, tumbling down a chute and losing consciousness. I woke up in a prison cell guarded by some kind of two-headed lizardman. Ignoring the food he brought me on the basis that I hadn’t yet lost any STAMINA, I tried to engage him in conversation. Sadly I was unable to provoke an argument between the two heads, so I was left to consider my options. I chose to cast an Illusion spell in an attempt to fool him into thinking I had disappeared or escaped. The spell wore off just as the creature caught on, so I was forced into combat, but not before casting a Weakness spell to make things a lot easier.

Leaving the jail behind, I soon found myself at a dead end, but some expert searching revealed a secret door, leading to another door, which I broke down. I entered the next room and had a second to consider how familiar it was before a tomato flew at my face. Groaning inwardly, I allowed it to hit me and took the friendly approach with the leprechaun, shook his hand, and promptly lost a SKILL point as my arm went numb. Scowling, I asked his advice, received the magical sword, chose a door, was mauled once again by his illusion (this was precisely as hilarious the second time as it was the first), and went on my way.

Soon I came to the side of an underground river, beside which an old lady was washing her clothes. Something didn’t seem quite right here, so before approaching I cast my E.S.P. spell to find out who she was. It turned out she was the ghost of a washer woman killed by Balthus Dire himself, doomed to wash clothes for all eternity. Wondering if she might be able to help with the tomato stains on my tunic, I struck up a conversation with her. She was friendly and warned me that I needed to find a Fleece to be able to see the master, but she was unable to provide any laundry services so I bid her farewell.

The next room contained the stone golem, which I dealt with using a Creature Copy spell and unlocked the boxes to find the spider in a jar. The dining hall was next, so I took the safe stairs to the balcony and picked the only door beyond which I had yet to explore. Casting a Strength spell, I still managed to lose 8(!) STAMINA points in the process of battering it down. Long past any pretence of stealth, I strolled into the room, which turned out to be the bedroom of a pretty lady. Flushing with embarrassment I offered her a gift – the silver mirror I was given earlier. Apparently not a fan of her own reflection, she refused my generosity and fired jets of fire from her eyes. I instinctively cast my Shielding spell in an effort to defend myself, but it was ineffective against the magical attack so it burned into my eyes and I dropped dead.

Conclusion: Failure. This isn’t going very well, is it?

Number of combats: 2

Attempt #4

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 17, LUCK 10, MAGIC 17

Spells selected: Creature Copy x2, E.S.P., Fire, Fool’s Gold, Illusion, Levitation x2, Luck, Shielding x2, Stamina x3, Strength, Weakness x2

A nice MAGIC score allowed me to choose a wider array of spells, and I had a decent SKILL to fall back on.

Bluffing the guards in the usual manner, I approached a group sitting around a fire in the courtyard, and joined them without asking. This seemed to throw them off their guard slightly, to the extent that they gave me the password for the Citadel, but they got upset when I pressed for further information and things got ugly. After wiping their blood off my blade, I searched them and found some gold, some ointment and a ‘Potion of Magik’ which would allow me to cast two spells without crossing them off. I also found a key but for some reason I was only allowed to take two of the items, and in my previous attempts I had yet to find a door I couldn’t break down.

I then met the whirlwind woman again and decided to try and ignore her. After getting angry at her repeated harassment, I managed to get away from her without much trouble. I was then able to pass the door guard without resorting to bluffing as I knew the password this time.

Avoiding the route to the leprechaun’s room for now with the knowledge that I might end up there later anyway, I rang for the butler and followed his directions. This took me to the Gark’s room, and rather than mess about, I drew my sword and taught him a lesson. Stealing his money and a hairbrush (aha!).

Continuing on, I entered a library and read a book about the secrets of the Black Tower, and stumbled across the combination for the lock to Balthus Dire’s room! I then read about Balthus Dire himself, noting with particular interest a passage about sunlight being poisonous to him. Pleased with finding so much potentially useful information, I hung around for too long and got myself captured by orcs.

Waking up in a rather familiar-looking prison cell, I ate the food and then cast an Illusion spell at the Calacorm jailer, this time convincing him that he was being attacked. As it turned out, he was terrified of mice, so my illusory rodent persuaded him to let me ‘escape’. Dealing with the leprechaun in the usual way (the way that didn’t involve wasting spells or losing SKILL points!), I entered the wine cellar. Sampling a different wine at the elf’s request, I enjoyed a refreshing sip of the red and moved on my way, disappointingly without confrontation.

The stone golem proved slightly more challenging, however, as my Creature Copy spell was insufficient for once and I was forced to finish it off myself. Collecting the spider-in-the-jar, I continued into the dining room, climbed the safe staircase, and picked the same door as last time, in the hope that this time the lady within would accept a gift more graciously. I gave her the hairbrush I was carrying, and unperturbed by the Gark dandruff she became fascinated with it. I took the opportunity to grab the Golden Fleece that was on the bed, and ran for it before its original owner showed up (although the ram’s skull mounted at the end of the bed made me less concerned about this). Ignoring the chest trap in the next room, I opened the door to the Ganjees’ room with trepidation.

After cowering in fear from the ghostly creatures, I rummaged in my backpack and pulled out the only new item I had the option to use – the jar of ointment. Apparently they revered this item (although how they intended to apply it to their ethereal bodies I had no idea) and allowed me to pass on condition that I left it behind.

Entering the next room, wondering what on earth could follow the Ganjees, I stopped in my tracks as a six-headed hydra reared up before me. Wondering why the only spell option given to me at this point was Creature Copy (six Weakness spells might have done the trick?), I rummaged once more in my backpack and pulled out the first thing that came to hand – the golden fleece. The monster cowered, then snatched it from me but made no further move to attack. Relieved at my good fortune, I dashed through the door.

Climbing some stairs, I came to a locked door – fortunately my browsing the library earlier revealed the combination for the lock. I prudently cast a Stamina spell at this point. As I opened the door, a trident flew directly towards my neck, and I immediately used a Shielding spell to deflect it. Balthus Dire doesn’t mess around with pointless illusions! Composing myself, I took a look around and spotted the sorcerer standing before me, looking (from the illustration) a bit like one of his experimental potions had gone a bit wrong. Briefly distracted, I managed to miss the giant Clawbeast standing behind me. In the nick of time, I chucked a Weakness spell and it collapsed into a pathetic heap. Chuffed with my success, I took the opportunity to cast E.S.P., in an attempt to identify any weakness Balthus Dire may have. Receiving a garbled mess of images which weren’t a lot of help, I considered my options. In the meantime, the sorcerer was busy casting some kind of earthquake spell. I countered with a Levitation spell, and given the option of where to float, chose the window as my destination (if the roof falls in, I’m out of here!). He reacted strangely, and being advised to act quickly I pulled the drapes off the window… and sunlight streamed in! I had actually forgotten about his weakness to sunlight – however, he obviously hadn’t, and duly collapsed and died. Well, that was lucky!

Conclusion: Success! Finally! I was fairly fortunate to get through the final confrontation on the first time of asking, but the rest of the book was mostly deduced using knowledge from my previous attempts. This was a tough one, but it was a matter of time until I got the right combination of directions to get the right items.

Number of combats: 5

Review

Writing: Again we have a classic plot, albeit one which is more fleshed out than TWoFM’s. This time we have a believable backstory, a real villain, and a potential hero with a real motivation for taking said villain down (well, a motivation beyond ‘ooh shinies’). The environment itself made more sense, with rooms appearing to have a purpose rather than just being an arrangement for an adventurer to pass through. The creatures that dwell in the Citadel are imaginative and varied, and while they do verge on the bizarre, even this makes sense given the premise of the location and its master’s leanings towards Chaos. The robustness of the backstory and setting are perhaps reflected in the writing in this book – most of the rooms and creatures are described in great detail. That said, I found some of the directional descriptions a bit confusing – perhaps this was intentional, but for some sections of the book I had no real idea of where I was in the Citadel in relation to other areas.

I did find it a bit odd that such a powerful sorcerer had such a lame weakness – sunlight? Really? Unless he was a closet vampire, it’s amazing that someone so unlucky as to have such a severe allergy, survived long enough to become a powerful sorcerer. I can only assume he did all his invading at night. Also, section 400 is sadly lacking in triumphant prose, and together these two factors provide a little bit of an anti-climax to an otherwise fun duel.

Writing: 3/5

Artwork: Russ Nicholson’s art seems better suited to The Citadel of Chaos than The Warlock of Firetop Mountain, and in most cases he captures the atmosphere very well. There are still some illustrations where the lighting doesn’t seem quite right, but all in all it’s pretty good stuff.

Artwork: 4/5

Design: The Citadel layout, although very simple on the surface, has some subtleties which make progress not quite as straightforward as you’d think. Taking certain routes can mean you skip past a lot of important content, and the true path which I found actually involves taking one route, getting yourself captured, and then escaping to the first room on the other route. This is a little counter-intuitive, and I can’t help but think it would have been better to allow players to backtrack rather than take such a circuitous route with no mistakes. Maybe some kind of time mechanic could have been built in to prevent the player from hanging around for too long. I might be wrong – there might be another route which works more neatly – but without reading my own adventure log I couldn’t remember the exact route I ended up taking on my 4^th attempt – that’s how confusing it was!

On the other hand, I did enjoy the fact that in most cases, there is an alternative to simply fighting your way through (and in some cases, physical violence will get you killed). Most of the spells seem to have valid uses, some more than others (Creature Copy and Weakness are a godsend for low-SKILL characters) and this also means that this is one of those rare books where you can get through with very poor initial stats. It might even be possible without taking part in a single combat yourself, although you’d need two Creature Copy spells and some luck to get past the hydra.

There was one example of a clumsy mechanic where I was only allowed to pick up two of three small items – I understand the need to avoid handing everything to the player on a plate, but this could have easily been prevented by placing one of the items on an alternative path. Otherwise I felt the mechanics worked well, and were a vast improvement over the first book. The magic system is simple, generally giving you enough spells that you’ll usually have options as an alternative to combat in most situations.

Design: 3/5

Fairness: I found this gamebook quite hard in the sense that finding the correct route took quite a few attempts, and even then it didn’t really seem intuitive. However there are several solutions to most problems, and even with minimum stats it’s possible to avoid directly fighting anything that outclasses you.

Fairness: 4/5

Cheating index: 0 Razaaks (if I hadn’t managed to complete the book on my 4^th attempt I might have started registering on this scale)

Average enemy stats

Successful path

5 encounters, SKILL 6.2, STAMINA 7.6

Entire book

34 encounters, SKILL 7.4, STAMINA 8.4

Instant death paragraphs: 21

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls – This is a rare occasion indeed, but would appear to be TRUE.

Final thoughts

This is an enjoyable gamebook with lots of interesting situations rather than a focus simply on hack n slash. Trying to find the correct route was fun at first, but started to grate after a few attempts, as there were no real clues as to where I was going wrong. For a single playthrough, however, I would definitely recommend this book.

Final score: 6/10

Links

Titannica page
Buy The Citadel of Chaos on Amazon.co.uk

Playthroughs from other bloggers

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Fighting Fantasy #1 - The Warlock of Firetop Mountain

2012-02-18T22:34:00.000+00:00

Title: The Warlock of Firetop Mountain

Author: Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone

Illustrator: Russ Nicholson

Published: 1982

Level of previous knowledge: Although I remember the premise extremely well, specific encounters and locations elude me. All I remember are the warlock, a dragon, a maze (shudder), and some skeletons… I’m sure the rest will come back to me though.

Plot summary: Um. This isn’t really explained in the version of the book I own (the green zip-zag version) but apparently I’m supposed to enter a cave in a mountain, fight my way past a horde of monsters and traps, then kill a powerful wizard-type person for no reason other than to steal his treasure. Apparently this will make me a ‘hero’, although I suspect a nominal one at best.

Rules: The rules are fairly standard for this one as I recall, except perhaps the restriction on eating Provisions only when offered by the text. I’ll abide by this rule, at least to begin with, as I understand the attempt to prevent players from wolfing down a whole backpack full of food in the seconds leading up to combat (this is something I’ll try to avoid doing in future gamebooks anyway).

Adventure Log

Attempt #1

Stats rolled: SKILL 10, STAMINA 18, LUCK 12

I selected the Potion of Strength to take with me, noting that it contains enough for two uses. Surely I’ll be invincible!

While it was nice of the villagers to advise me that the ferryman would require a gold piece to take me across the river, I would have liked the opportunity to earn or borrow one before wandering off to the mountain. Oh well, maybe the ‘warty-faced goblins’ which they warned me guard the entrance to the cave will be carrying some coinage. If they exist. Which they don’t. Curse you, villagers!

Entering the mountain, I soon arrived at a T-junction where I picked a direction at random, and found myself in front of a locked door. In true adventurer style, and given my apparent motivation for being here (sheer greed), of course I attempted to smash it down. I succeeded heroically, and charged straight into the pit behind the door. Oho! This warlock is cunning, yes? He was obviously toying with me, as some poisoned spikes or some kind of hungry pit monster would have improved this trap (from his point of view) greatly.

Clambering back out, I headed back past the junction, and upon the lack of any option to return to the outside world and nurse my scuffed knee, went down the other passageway. I came across a sleeping goblin, which I was forced to attempt to sneak past, rather than the sensible option of impaling him in his sleep. Fortunately I was unable to fail this LUCK test and moved on, arriving at a door, behind which I could hear snoring. Nice to know the warlock had top-notch security in case some kleptomaniac adventurer came to visit! Opening the door I found another sleeping goblin which I was prevented from callously slaughtering, instead choosing to quietly steal his wooden box. It contained a gold piece and a mouse, which apparently made me so lucky I received 2 LUCK points.

The next door led to an empty room with another small box. Given my 100% track record with boxes so far, I opened this one, only to be viciously attacked by a snake! After crushing its skull under my boot I found a bronze key with a number on it, which I threw away as it was obviously useless (OK, I might be kidding).

Judging from the singing, the next room obviously contained someone who was actually awake. Confident in my abilities, I pushed open the door to meet two orcish-looking guards, and another small box. Unable to resist the lure of potentially great treasure (maybe this one would contain a hamster) I charged in and butchered the drunken creatures. Opening the box I found a book about Dragonfire, containing the words of a spell used to fight evil dragons, which I scribbled down, just in case. You never know!

Turning a corner and passing another junction, I arrived at another door with sounds of life behind it. This time there were five orcs, and after a quick calculation (2 orcs = 0 stamina lost, 0* 5/2 = 0) I rushed in eagerly. After polishing them off, taking a couple of unlucky wounds in the process, I was rewarded with 1 SKILL and 5 STAMINA points, because I was ‘proud of my victory’. I found yet another box, this time long and thin, which contained a bow and silver arrow, and a cryptic inscription.

My next encounter was with another locked door, which I charged down more carefully than the last one. Inside was an old man who was imprisoned for trying to steal the warlock’s treasure. Sadly I wasn’t given the option to let justice take its course and let him rot (and I guess this may have been considered hypocritical) and instead let him go, receiving some useful information for my efforts. If not for the rule about LUCK not exceeding its Initial score, mine would have been somewhere around the 15 mark by now.

Forcing the next door earned me a shiny shield, and the opportunity to leave any item behind in order to accommodate it. The idea of leaving behind a tiny key in exchange for the shield did appeal to me, but in the end I went for the sensible option of leaving behind my existing shield instead, while making a note to make sure I carry as much junk as possible around in future so I’m never forced to leave anything useful behind.

The next room saw me take on two goblins who were busy torturing a dwarf. I was under the impression that goblins were generally weaker than orcs, but these ones had evidently been training hard and put up more of a fight. No boxes this time, but I took some smelly cheese from one of the goblins (see previous paragraph) and moved on.

Following the old man’s advice, I pulled the correct lever at the portcullis and it lifted. Passing by a wooden bench with a sign offering me the chance to rest (surely any adventurer would consider this an obvious trap?) I wandered down a few more passages and started to get rather lost. Eventually I opened a door to find a statue of a cyclops, with a sparkling jewel for an eye. Surely the consequences of stealing this should be fairly obvious, but… sparkly jewel! Attempting to prise it out provoked the expected fight, and the cyclops battered me to within an inch of my life. Spending 5 LUCK points to scrape through on 1 STAMINA, I immediately drank the first draught of the Potion of Strength I had brought with me. Phew! As well as the jewel, I found another numbered key inside the statue. There’s nothing like being rewarded for a bit of greed…

Shortly afterwards a random barbarian threw himself on to my sword, and I found a mallet and wooden stakes. Pondering this item, I came to the conclusion that I probably didn’t want to find out where it could be used. Rushing straight through the room containing eerie-looking portraits (stopping for an art critique seemed like a bad idea), I found some Y-shaped bits of wood (leaving the cheese behind in order to pick them up, ha!) and was throttled slightly by a sentient rope.

I then arrived at the river, and immediately cursed my luck – the villagers had told me to save ‘a gold piece’ for the ferryman (and I had one), but the sign here indicated that the price was double that. Muttering something about inflation, I thought it best not to waste the ferryman’s time and headed for the rickety old bridge instead. Remarkably this wasn’t a disaster and I made it across.

Opening another door, I saw a sleeping man and a dog, which I assumed to be the pairing the old man referred to as guarding a key to the boat house. I was unsure as to whether I need access to the boat house, but having keys generally seemed like a better situation than not having them, so I thought I’d wake him up (he isn’t a goblin so I decided against attacking, even though I was given the option to slaughter his dog) and try the friendly approach. Sadly I was too honest about the nature of my avaricious quest and he became rather upset, sprouted hair all over his body, yelled something like ‘Arooo!’ and attempted to eat me, although he allowed his dog the first bite. Upon slaying them both I took the bunch of keys and wandered back towards the river looking for the boat house.

I found the correct door almost immediately, unlocked it and went inside to meet the hard-working skeletons inside. Foolishly I made up a tall tale about being their new boss, which they didn’t buy at all (and who could blame them?), so ended up having to smash them all to bits. So much for Firetop Boats Ltd! Finding a silver-bladed chisel and leaving a Y-shaped piece of wood behind, I dodged some more skeletons and entered the next room. This one contained a wooden box (it’s been a while) and a possibly dead/undead-looking person, whom I was not given the option of gutting like a fish, instead being given the choice of which way to tiptoe. I went for the box, naturally, and ended up having to fight the thing, which turned out to be a wight. After it raked me a couple of times I switched to the silver chisel as a weapon, then noticed the ‘If it hits you 3 times’ text and went for the silver arrow option. Fortunately it hit its mark and I looted the box of its gold pieces.

Feeling a bit weary of all the undead I seem to be upsetting, I groaned as I entered the next room. Three ‘dead’ bodies, huh? Maybe I should attempt a friendly chat before they spring up and tear me limb from limb? Nope, once again I was given the option to tiptoe through, but decided instead to search one of the bodies, hoping that my adventurer self would at least have the sense to check that they were genuinely dead before rifling through their pockets. Finding some gold pieces, I then pushed my luck by searching the next one, and clumsily tripped over the other one, which turned out to be a ghoul. Happily I defeated it without a scratch, and found an unhelpful ‘map of the maze of Zagor and a vial of liquid, which I threw away on the basis that I was fairly healthy and didn’t want to jeopardise that.

Moving on, I finally reached the fabled maze, and wandered aimlessly for a while before stumbling into a room containing the obligatory minotaur. Despite being slightly gored I won the ensuing fight and claimed another numbered key as my reward. Further wandering around the maze led me to a study of some kind, where an annoying old man waved his hands at me and teleported me to another part of the maze. After much frustrated meandering, I managed to find my way out of the maze purely by looking for section numbers which I hadn’t seen before (which I suppose is the equivalent of peering randomly down slightly different corridors and working out if you’ve been there before).

The next room, uh, cavern (uh-oh), contained a hole in the roof, which instantly brought to mind the spell I had memorised earlier – and in true ‘evil dragon’ fashion, he introduced himself by shooting a jet of fire from the darkness. I cast the spell (fortunately my character had a good memory) and the dragon stomped off with a singed face.

Carrying on along a passageway, I eventually encounter yet another harmless-looking old man. Remembering where being polite got me last time (and frankly suspecting the worst – who would be guarded by a dragon?) , I drew my sword and burst through the door, trying to put him off his guard. He revealed himself as the Warlock, and didn’t seem upset in the least that I was here to rob him of his life savings, but I heroically rummaged through my pack (you’d think I would have done this before entering) for something to even the odds. Remembering how I’d almost died in the process of retrieving the sparkly red jewel I thought I’d give that a try first, waved it vaguely in his direction and watched as he shrivelled into a heap of dust. Oh.

Quite surprised at this fairly anti-climactic climax, I entered the treasure room while checking my backpack for keys. I had only three keys, so my only chance was the single combination they produced. Completely unexpectedly, the keys turned and the chest opened!

Conclusion: Success! Well, I certainly didn’t expect to finish this one on the first attempt. Having looked at a map since this playthrough, there are two east-or-west decisions (one after the other) which have to be made correctly, to get one of the necessary keys (the cyclops one). It also seems I was fortunate to miss the key in the boat house (by searching the tools rather than the drawers) which would have confused the final decision somewhat.

Number of combats: 22

Review

Writing: Very much a classic plot – adventurer enters dungeon for no particular reason other than to loot the place of all its treasure and become a hero. Forgiveable given this book’s status as the first Fighting Fantasy book, but perhaps having been spoiled by much less shallow plots in more recent gamebooks, it doesn’t grab me in the same way. For some this gamebook might represent a gateway to a much-loved hobby, but in my case it wasn’t the first gamebook I played and therefore doesn’t make me all dewy-eyed with nostalgia. The writing is concise, with no unnecessary detail - The dungeon itself makes little sense, with magical items dotted around for no particular reason, and the keys to the Warlock’s chest scattered at random. However the advantage of the basic plot is its simplicity which makes it easy to play without having to remember all sorts of details.

Writing: 2/5

Artwork: The artwork doesn’t always get across the dank atmosphere you would expect to experience in a dungeon of this kind and it’s a bit rough around the edges, but is very detailed and the familiar style does appeal to me.

Artwork: 3/5

Design: Gameplay is fairly straightforward – the player generally moves from room to room and has a series of discrete encounters, which when overcome reward the player with items which may or may not be useful for overall success. There are no situations where I felt unfairly punished for exploring – even wandering into a trap wasn’t too crippling, and none of the fights I was forced into were overly difficult (although the Iron Cyclops would have been impossible for a low-skill character and I think the true path requires you to fight him).

I found the fact that I was forced to drop items at certain points in order to pick up others a little annoying, and this would have been downright frustrating had I really wanted to keep hold of everything. This rule made little sense in that there was no distinction between small and large items, so I could happily have left a key behind in order to pick up a shield, for instance. By the same token if I was carrying nothing but a key I would have been forced to do this. I guess this is a simplified way of forcing players to make decisions about what they carry, but I felt like a limited inventory size of 10 items or so would have been a better way to achieve this.

Being partly an Ian Livingstone creation, this book bears his trademark in that there are certain paths you must take, and certain encounters you must have, or you cannot complete the adventure successfully. Sadly this also means that there are certain paths and encounters you cannot experience on your way to successful completion, as there is no way to go back to a previous junction and go the other way. This is, in one way, a shame, but when you do eventually find that true path, it makes it all the more satisfying.

Design: 2/5

Fairness: Overall this isn’t a difficult gamebook although the odds are against completing it on a first attempt, due to the fact that one of the required keys is easily missable by taking a wrong turn.

Fairness: 4/5

Cheating index: Perfectly doable without cheating.

0 Razaaks

Statistics

Average enemy stats

Successful path

22 encounters, SKILL 6.3, STAMINA 5.8

Entire book

67 encounters, SKILL 6.5, STAMINA 6.0

Instant death paragraphs: 4

Any player can win no matter how weak initial dice rolls – I doubt a SKILL 7 character could succeed here, so I'm calling this a LIE.

Final thoughts

I enjoyed my romp through Firetop Mountain despite the anti-climax. Maybe it’s because it’s been so long since I played any gamebooks properly. My final scores for each gamebook will be a combination of the scores for plot, design, artwork and fairness, plus my own bias which I reserve the right to apply as liberally as I wish!

Final score: 5/10

Links

Titannica page

Buy The Warlock of Firetop Mountain on Amazon

Playthroughs from other bloggers

Turn to 400
Fighting Dantasy
Fighting for your Fantasy
May Your Stamina Never Fail
Seven Fourteen Seven
The Sidekickcast

Introduction

2012-02-16T22:26:00.000+00:00

Hello and welcome to my gamebook reviews blog!

I’ve been a fan of gamebooks since the 1980s. I discovered House of Hell in my school library when I was 12 years old, and although it gave me nightmares, I was hooked. For the next 7-8 years I sought out every last Fighting Fantasy gamebook that I could get my hands on, and spent most of my spare time in my room, rolling dice and scribbling numbers on paper. I was gutted after 1995 when I realised that no more FF books were to be published, and that combined with the downturn in Lone Wolf books (I never enjoyed them after #20) led to a complete lack of further purchases for many years. Although I revisited my collection from time to time, eventually adult life took over and the books were left to gather dust.

Years later, I discovered Project Aon, a volunteer group of Lone Wolf fans who obtained permission to republish the Lone Wolf books in an online format. Then I heard that Wizard books had not only republished some of the books, but had released some new ones, which I snapped up. Recently, in a bored moment I did some random Googling and discovered several websites and blogs dedicated to Fighting Fantasy. After reading about other people’s experiences with gamebooks, I was imbued with the desire to play through my entire collection again. Not only that, but I thought I’d blog about it as well. I’m aware that this has been done before, but one thing I’ve learned about most gamebook fans is that they can’t get enough of this kind of thing :)

The general plan is to start with the Fighting Fantasy gamebooks and work my way through the original series (1-59), the new Wizard books, the Sorcery! Series, and then move on to the Lone Wolf series (1-20 only, naturally) afterwards. Somewhat foolishly, I’ll be attempting each book over and over until I finally succeed. I’ll be playing honestly for the most part – certainly for any first attempt at a book, but may resort to minor cheating as the attempts go on! If I find that a Fighting Fantasy adventure requires a certain level of SKILL to have a hope of succeeding, for instance, I will be creative with rolling my stats – one alternative method I may use is to roll 2D6 for STAMINA as usual, but also roll 2 D6s and pick one for SKILL and one for LUCK. Certain books may require a greater degree of cheating than others, and I’ll be giving each book a rating for this, out of 5 Razaaks (yes, I remember him!) Also I obviously have previous knowledge of the books, although how much I remember of them will vary greatly, and I haven’t read the new Wizard books at all.

I’ll be posting a summary of each attempt, keeping an Excel adventure sheet and posting some stats about each attempt and the book overall. I’ll review each book in terms of its plot, writing, mechanics, design and artwork, and bore you to death with some analysis of how the book is put together. If I have any sanity left, I might also post a solution or a map or two. It goes without saying that these posts will be spoilerific in the extreme...

The first review will hopefully be up within a week or so, although I can make no promises about how regularly I post!