Three Hundred Pounds Of Joy!

Observations on Covid-19 in the U.S.A.

2020-04-09T14:49:00.002-07:00

Life in a pandemic! What interesting times. Here are some random observations now that we're more than a month into it. Consider them the rantings of a mad man.

Most people in the Western World have no clue. About anything. Least of all how dangerous of a world we actually live in. It should be clear to any intelligent person by now just how blind virtually everyone is to what's happening in the world around them. But it's still not clear to most. So many people are pretending this isn't happening, or latching on to a wild conspiracy theory to explain it.

Insanity.

Almost nobody took precautions to prepare for this ahead of time. I'm hearing many angry people over that fact. They're mad at their government. They're mad at their politicians. They're mad at their employers. They're mad at everyone but themselves.

What did YOU do to prepare for a pandemic ahead of time? That's a fair question. People like Bill Gates have been "preaching" the word for years. We collectively mock "doomsday preppers" who spend much of their life energy preparing for such things. But most people are just as unprepared for this as their governments. The governments they elected.

So stop trying to blame everyone and let's focus on the task at hand. Getting through this with the least death and damage.

First and foremost you need to know that this isn't going away in a couple weeks. Or a couple months. Now that we've been hit with a pandemic, if we're not forever preparing for the next one, then we deserve what that inaction brings us.

And preparing the world to live in that reality will require a change of mindset and lifestyle that is beyond most people's ability to grasp. So we won't really discuss that part of the equation except to see how it relates to all the conspiracy theories flying around about this.

The Psychology Of Conspiracy Theories.

These are my thoughts. I have no academic or professional credentials in psychology. But I've been a student of human behavior for 45 years.

First off, we all live in a "collective delusion". And on some level everyone who lives in delusion knows it. Usually on a subconscious level. But there is a "hint" of a bigger picture they're not seeing while conscious. This opens the door for the conscious mind to try to make sense of this "bigger picture" and it is very easy for people to grasp on to anything and everything. The more they suspect that the world they live in is delusion, the bigger and grander the conspiracy theories they may be prone to buy into.

In some ways people prone to conspiracy theories are ahead of the game. That is, they KNOW on some conscious level they're living in a world of delusion. Is this not preferred to people who are completely clueless? In some ways it is. But it is very easy to move from the state of "entertaining possibilities" to full-blown acceptance of conspiracy theories that aren't any more reality than the slumber of the "sheeple" these people despise.

Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories

There are too many to list! Some say China intentionally unleashed this in a plot to take over the world. Some say the U.S. unleashed it in China. Some say it's all a power grab by the Illuminati to steer us to One World Government. Some say it's all a hoax to distract us from the roll out of 5g which is going to kill us all. Some say there is no virus, that it's 5g that is killing people. Did I miss any? Yup. Dozens. Did I miss your favorite? Sorry. I'm not even going mention the religiously toned theories... sheesh, people... if you really BELIEVE that book you talk about, content yourself with this... I've read that book! If you don't understand it, skip to the end. God wins. The End. Nothing to worry about if you REALLY believe that book.

Please set aside the conspiracy theories. They won't help you get through this. They'll only make it worse. Besides, if any of them are true you can't do anything about it anyway. But you can do things to get through this pandemic. Yes, our reality has been shattered. Yes, we all see big changes coming in the world. Yes they're scary. Be brave and do your part.

You need to start thinking about the long-term. No, do not go out and buy all the toilet paper. Save some for others. But in the coming months you do need to start slowly stocking up on things because even if this virus calms down over the summer, it is quite possible we'll get a repeat in the fall. Do your part to prepare for yourself and reduce the burden on the system when and if that comes.

We're not going back to our care-free lifestyle. The economic fallout from this is HUGE. Do you REALLY think that Donald Trump is willing to completely trash the U.S. economy in an election year over a trivial virus no worse than the seasonal flu? No. Me neither. We're headed straight for the biggest economic depression of most of our lives, if not a flat out global depression. I'm not trying to scare you, I'm trying to instill in you the reality that you CAN and SHOULD start preparing yourself and your family for the coming months/years. Anything you do now will put you ahead of the game.

Brace For Impact

Many think that we're in the worst of it. The virus is peaking. Donald Trump seems to say so. I think the truth is more that New York is peaking, but the rest of the United States is most definitely not peaking.

Let's look at some numbers:

(This chart has been updated past the posting date of this article)

U.S. Covid-19 Death Rate

Date	Confirmed Cases	Confirmed Deaths	Death Rate
2020.02.29	68	1	1.4705882%
2020.03.01	75	1	1.333333%
2020.03.02	100	6	6%
2020.03.03	124	9	7.2580645%
2020.03.04	158	11	6.9620253%
2020.03.05	221	12	5.4298643%
2020.03.06	319	15	4.7021944%
2020.03.07	435	19	4.3678161%
2020.03.08	541	22	4.0665434%
2020.03.09	704	26	3.6931818%
2020.03.10	994	30	3.0181087%
2020.03.11	1,301	38	2.9208301%
2020.03.12	1,630	41	2.5153374%
2020.03.13	2,183	48	2.198809%
2020.03.14	2,770	57	2.0577617%
2020.03.15	3,613	69	1.9097703%
2020.03.16	4,596	87	1.8929504%
2020.03.17	6,344	110	1.7339218%
2020.03.18	9,197	150	1.6309666%
2020.03.19	13,779	206	1.4950287%
2020.03.20	19,367	255	1.3166727%
2020.03.21	24,192	301	1.244213%
2020.03.22	33,592	414	1.2324363%
2020.03.23	43,781	555	1.2676732%
2020.03.24	54,856	780	1.4219046%
2020.03.25	68,211	1,027	1.5056223%
2020.03.26	85,435	1,295	1.5157722%
2020.03.27	104,126	1,695	1.6278355%
2020.03.28	123,578	2,220	1.7964363%
2020.03.29	143,491	2,583	1.8001129%
2020.03.30	163,788	3,141	1.91784%
2020.03.31	188,530	4,053	2.1497905%
2020.04.01	215,003	5,102	2.3729901%
2020.04.02	244,877	6,076	2.4812457%
2020.04.03	277,161	7,121	2.5692648%
2020.04.04	311,357	8,451	2.7142476%
2020.04.05	336,673	9,616	2.8561839%
2020.04.06	367,004	10,871	2.9620931%
2020.04.07	402,992	12,848	3.1881526%
2020.04.08	434,927	14,788	3.4001108%
2020.04.09	469,124	16,712	3.5623844%
2020.04.10	502,876	18,747	3.7279568%
2020.04.11	532,879	20,577	3.861477%
2020.04.12	560,300	22,105	3.9452079%
2020.04.13	586,941	23,640	4.0276621%
2020.04.14	617,661	29,825	4.8287005%
2020.04.15	648,003	32,443	5.0066126%
2020.04.16	677,570	34,617	5.1089924%

This data is taken from worldometers.info and is mostly accurate. They have added some here and there to back date late coming numbers. But the numbers are accurate enough for our purpose.

In these 4 columns are the date, starting at February 29th, when the U.S. had it's first death, up until yesterday. Next column is Confirmed Cases, then Confirmed Deaths, and finally, the percent of deaths from all known cases. That is, if we divide the number of deaths into the number of cases, we get a percentage of people who die from this virus.

Now, there are clear problems with that "death rate" number. First, it's simply not accurate. It's not accurate because the REAL death rate would be the number of deaths divided by the ACTUAL number of Covid-19 cases, which is a number we do not know.

What we DO know is that if we tested EVERYBODY then we'd know the true number and would have a much more accurate "death rate". We still have a LONG way to go to do that. But logic and common sense says that as time goes on and you test more and more people you'll get a more accurate reflection of the true death rate.

And the chart bears that out... to a point. The first three days there simply isn't enough data to see a "trend" but by day 4, March 3rd, we see the start of an interesting trend. On March 3rd the "death rate" was 7.25%. That is very high, and thankfully, not accurate. And as we test more and more people we can expect that number to come down, which it does. Every single day as more and more people are tested, that percentage dropped. Every day. Without exception. It went down just a bit. Until March 22nd when it hit the lowest point at 1.23% And then the trend reversed. From that point on up until today, every day the death rate climbed up just a little bit. Every day, without exception. From 1.23% up to the current 3.4%.

Why Did The Death Rate Start Going Up?

What does this mean? Did we stop testing people? No. In fact, we're testing more and more people every day. We have faster tests and more of them. So why isn't the death rate continuing to decline, or at least hold steady?

It's because the virus is spreading faster than we can collect data on it. That is the most logical and most likely answer. In other words, this virus is very much out of control.

A study done by disease modelers at the University of Texas at Austin suggests that we may only be testing and reporting only 1 in 10 actual cases.

On one hand, this is good news. It means that the actual death rate from this virus is even lower than anyone is currently guessing. Perhaps as low as the seasonal flu which has a 0.1% death rate.

But on the other hand, this is very bad news. It means that this virus is far more contagious and travels far more widely and easily than anyone currently knows. And that's a scary thought.

My conclusion from those numbers? New York may be peaking, and some areas may be "holding their own" due to social distancing, but this virus is very much on the rise and "out of control".

What's more, any success we have as a result of social distancing will be lost as soon as we start easing up on those measures. This means that more people will be out of work for much longer than they realize and the economic impact of this virus is going to be much more severe than most people can fathom.

Be safe. Stay at home. Don't live in fear, but for goodness sake, don't live in denial. These are interesting and scary times. Be responsible.

So ends the rantings of a mad man. For today.

I'm Back!!! (sort of)

2020-03-08T18:03:00.000-07:00

Greetings! I just spent the last hour reading and then rereading the last few years of my blog posts. Not that there were a lot of them. They were few and far between.

I think I hinted sufficiently where I was and what I was doing. I have been off dealing with mental health issues.

It amazed me after losing 300 lb how much everybody wanted to talk about my weight loss, but nobody had any interest in the emotional issues that took me to 500 lb in the first place.

And as much as I wanted to talk about them, and tried, I was in no position to. Not only did I not have the words, but I didn't even understand what the issues were.

So where am I today?

Well, I believe I have sufficiently broke through the mental health issues that contributed to my lifelong weight problem, and contributed to my life struggles in recent years. Since having this recent breakthrough it appears as though all the stars are once again aligning themselves in my life. I am motivated to exercise and I'm enjoying it for the first time in years. My food has been excellent and I once again enjoy the patterns of eating that brought me my initial weight loss success.

Both of these are important because I have struggled with my physical health during this time. I have gained a significant amount of weight back. How much I don't know because I refuse to get on a scale. I am nowhere near the 500 lb I once was. But I am fairly certain I've regained over a hundred pounds of what I lost.

I have not talked much with anybody about my weight gain during my mental health struggles. It seems that nobody understood or cared. All most people ever noticed was the physical. All they ever wanted to talk about was the physical. This is as it was during my amazing weight loss journey. Everybody was excited about the physical transformation. Nobody wanted to talk about the emotional trauma that caused the weight in the first place. The fact that I struggled and regained weight seemed to many to be a huge disappointment. Once again my emotional state didn't matter, but the outward physical change did.

Shame on everyone who has this mindset.

Here's a dirty little secret for you all. Food addicts eat when they're under emotional stress. Period. There is no secret to this. There's also no shame to this. I knew that I was gaining weight. I knew it wasn't physically healthy. I knew it was my coping mechanism for emotional stress.

And I also knew that if I kept at it, I would work through my emotional issues. I knew I could. I believed I could. And I persevered.

You gain an amazing confidence in yourself when you lose 300 pounds. you realize that you can accomplish just about anything you set your mind to.

So I set my sites on the biggest challenge of my life. I set my mind on overcoming my mental health issues.

That journey turned out to be many times longer and many times harder then losing 300 lb. In fact, losing 300 pounds was a walk in the park compared to what I've been through these past few years.

Another thing I knew was that if I ever got to the other side of the darkness, I would come out of it stronger than I had ever been. And that would mean the resumption of my weight loss journey.

There has not been a doubt in my mind these past years that resolving my mental health conflicts would resolve my physical health struggles as well.

So where do I go from here?

I don't know. On a personal level I will continue to work on my mental health. I will continue to work on my physical health. I fully expect both to improve. But I make no promises. It seems I've had such enthusiasm before, as expressed in blog posts of recent years. I do, however see a fundamental difference. A few years ago I was hoping I was done working through my mental health issues, but the hard work was really just beginning.

I once fancied myself becoming a weight loss guru. I see now that my life journey is far bigger than that. It doesn't mean that I can't resume my efforts to help people with weight loss, but honestly, I see bigger fish to fry.

I may seek to help others with similar mental health challenges as mine.

Or I may choose to ride off into the sunset. I no longer desire a public spotlight. I no longer desire to be somebody important.

Perhaps, because I already am.

I do plan on future blog posts. But I've learned not to promise them.

Peace and Grace to all!

Family Dysfunction, Life Trauma, and Where In The World Has Ray Been?

2018-06-08T16:04:00.000-07:00

Recently I saw a post on Facebook about a woman's obituary. Her children had used it as a "hit piece" against her. You can read it in the photo below:

Kathleen Dehmlow's Obituary

This story piqued my interest because the pain her children felt in order to write this obituary is the kind of pain I understand. I did some more digging and found more on this story, including the following:

Despite some criticism it was too harsh, 58-year-old Jay Dehmalo and 60-year-old sister Gina have stood by their words, saying people will never understand the pain they endured as children.

“You can’t believe the dysfunction of the family,” Mr Dehmalo, who has since changed his last name to distance himself from his past [said].

“They’ll never know what we went through but it helped us [to write this]. We wanted to finally get the last word.”

The 58-year-old said for years he and his sister had no idea that after their mother abandoned them and moved to California, she had given birth to two other sons with her husband’s brother.

“We didn’t have so much as a card from her. I remember she came home twice and on one occasion she was showing pictures of her and her kids playing cards, drinking beers,” Mr Dehmalo added.

“Gina and I were standing in the room, just standing there and she didn’t even acknowledge us. It’s like we didn’t exist … How can you do that to your own children?”

Both Jay and Gina said given the chance again, they would publish the same obituary.

Unlike some, I have no harsh criticism of Jay and Gina. I understand dysfunction. I understand life trauma. I understand the process of dealing with it and overcoming it. I know that many people never do rise above it and carry their pain to their grave. So I don't see their act of voicing it, even all these years later, as a bad thing.
Nor do I criticize the manner in which they're lashing out. Anger is a valid emotion. Learning to express it positively is a process. Lashing out as they did can be an important part of that process. It can be a healthy stepping stone on their journey, but it cannot be a healthy place to dwell too long.
I think that now that they've voiced it they may be surprised, if they're open to the realization, that they're not alone. Many have suffered their own childhood trauma. Countless others have had it far worse. Realizing we're not alone is an important step in growing past life trauma, and I hope they find this realization. I wish both Jay and Gina well. I hope they choose to use this opportunity to grow further. I also hope others will use this as a mirror on their own life, and perhaps this incident can be of help to many.

Why is this story of such interest to me? It is because Jay and Gina have managed to do something that has eluded me for a very long time: They're talking about their childhood trauma in a very public way. It is something I've been trying to find a way to do for years now.

It's no secret that I once was very vocal and had a much bigger presence online than I do now. I have a wonderful life story to share... losing 300 pounds on a whole-foods diet is a wonderful thing to share with the world, isn't it? So where have I been the past 4 years? Why have I "fallen off the face of the earth?"

After my phenomenal weight loss I was determined to "save the world". As many other have done, I set out to make a motivational video about my story. I did some research on making such videos and one thing I learned was that no matter how big my story was, I needed to keep such an introductory video to under 5 minutes. I had a lot to say and so planned my video out carefully. I decided to break it up into 5 chunks of no more than 60 seconds each, with at least one chunk coming in under a minute to bring the video to less than 5 minutes. I decided on the 5 parts of the video to be:

A big attention getting opening highlighting my weight loss journey.
A brief summary of my childhood and formative years.
A brief summary of my adult years and the pain of living life at such a heavy weight.
A more detailed description of my weight loss journey.
And finally, where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do in the future.

I started planning and scripting out what I wanted in the video. Through production of the first segment I mapped out other sections, but the segment on my childhood baffled me, so I decided to worry about it after completing the first section. Here is the first section of the video I created. It is exactly 60 seconds long.

I worked full steam ahead on this project and remember the day I finished this first segment. I was pleased and ready to start work on the next segment but figured I'd put it off until the next day. The next day turned into the next week and then a month passed and one day I'm sitting there with a notepad in front of me determined to describe my childhood in terms that made sense to the video I was wanting to put out... and it dawned on me...

I had no idea what to say about my childhood. What was worse, I had an ominous feeling of dread at the prospect of trying.

I realized that I had never, not one time in my adult life, spent time exploring my childhood in an honest and productive manner. I had sometimes mentioned to others that I remember very little from my childhood, but I had always felt that I just had a poor memory. It hadn't occurred to me that I had subconsciously blocked out entire segments of my childhood. This didn't concern me in any way throughout my adult life. I had suffered severe and repeated life traumas in my adult life, and I'd attributed all of my life struggles to PTSD related to those. It never occurred to me that my struggles were rooted in something even bigger. It never occurred to me that my childhood and upbringing was a factor in my life, and in my life struggles. And not just a factor, but the defining factor.

So there I was. 2014. 49 years old. I'd just lost 300 pounds and was a hero to many. I'd been featured in more than one local newspaper. I'd been on television. I had my weight loss story plastered all over social media multiple times. People wanted my help. People listened to what I had to say. People paid me money... in some cases, good money, for my knowledge and wisdom. I had nowhere to go but up, right? Others with lesser stories than mine were making good money selling their story and pushing products and/or lifestyle changes. Why not me?

But my childhood. Why was talking about it such a struggle?

Whatever lurked before me by exploring my childhood, I knew it would bring pain and misery. I am not a lightweight when it comes to pain and suffering. In my adult life I have experienced trauma that will bring anyone to tears. What kind of trauma? Murder and mayhem to start with. I have known 7 murderers in my lifetime. 4 of them I knew very well. One of them killed my sister and her children. I cleaned up their murder scene. I've known other people who have been murdered. I witnessed a murder. I helped put one man on death row with my eyewitness testimony of the murder he committed.
But murder and mayhem are just the start of the heartache I've faced in my adult life. To be perfectly clear, it required working through much of the emotional trauma in my life THAT I KNEW ABOUT before I was ready and able to be healthy enough to start my 300 pound weight loss journey. Parts of me understood this. I knew that my story wasn't just about losing insane numbers of pounds... but the life struggles that took me up to 500 pounds in the first place. I knew that was where the bigger story was. So when I sat there one day with notepad in hand and realized there was something very big and dark looming before me if I chose to explore my childhood, I understood the significance of this. It was something bigger, darker, and scarier than anything I'd faced in adult life.

Everyone wanted to talk about my weight loss. But I needed to explore the things that took me up to 500 pounds in the first place. I had no idea how long of a journey, or how difficult of one it would be. Four years later I have no idea how to put into words what I've struggled with since embarking on this journey of self discovery. I'm not sure I ever will. I'm not sure I have the desire or energy to do so, even if I did find the words.

One of the reasons I was so vocal and public about my weight loss journey was because I felt it was the logical culmination of my life journey. Above all other things I wanted to make sense of my life. I felt that if I could use my life experience to help others, that somehow, that'd make everything okay, make sense of my life, give meaning to it. That reasoning was just a diversion to keep me from exploring the bigger questions in my life.

These days I'm inclined to help others, as I can. But I come first. I have to come first. And this journey of self exploration has taken so much out of me that I don't have much left for helping others. That's just the way it is. Will it always be that way? I dunno. I'm not sure just how far I've come in the past four years. But I've come far enough to start talking about it.

Grace and Peace to you.

-Raymond

Memorial Day

2018-05-28T15:37:00.000-07:00

I was 28 years old when I met Joel. I remember our first meeting well. I was walking home from the bus stop early one morning, after working a graveyard shift.

On top of living in a difficult period of my life, graveyard shift did not suit me. Not only was I physically tired, but I was weary with life. It is sad that a young man such as I was could be so weary. As I neared the house where I rented a room, Joel approached me. He was a tired and obviously homeless man. I could see in his eyes that he knew hardship. He smelled. Bad. Life had not been kind to Joel. It is a look you recognize when you've been there yourself. Yet there was a gentleness about him, and a friendliness that sparked something within me.
He held out his hand and in it was some coins. He counted them out for me. Then he put his other hand on my shoulder, looked me in the eye with all the seriousness any man ever possessed, and said: "If I had another 38 cents I could walk over to yonder store (he gestured) and buy me a bottle of wine." I was in no position to be giving money away. I was counting my own spare change just to get by. But here stood in front of me a good man who had been through hell. This much I already knew about him, just by looking in his eyes. Without saying a word I reached in my pocket where I had two quarters and I gave them to him, and then without speaking I started to walk on my way. "Wait...", he said. I had given him more than he needed and he wanted to give me the difference. I didn't want further interaction so I told him to keep the change and walked on.
I didn't think anything more of it until I saw him again a couple weeks later as I was once again walking home from the bus stop after a graveyard shift. He approached me with a smile and greeted me as if we had been lifelong friends. He reached into his pocket, counted out 12 cents, then handed it to me. It was the difference between what he needed and what I gave him the last time we met. He seemed so proud to be able to repay me! I don't know if I was already in a better mood this time, or if his joy spread to me, but this time I smiled back and talked with him. He told me his name. He told me he lived in so-and-so's shed behind their house several blocks over, but don't tell anyone cuz if the neighbors found out he'd have to find somewhere else. His cheerfulness uplifted me, but when I ran out of things to say I started back on my way home.
"Wait...", he said. He reached in his pocket, counted out how much he had, put his other hand on my shoulder, and told me how much more he needed to be able to walk over to yonder store and buy him a bottle of wine. And that's when I realized... Even though Joel was a homeless alcoholic, paying me what he felt he owed me came first to him. Before asking for anything of me he needed to pay his debt to me. This time I reached into my pocket and stuck around while Joel counted out the exact change that was due me. Joel and I became friends that day, and a better friend I have never had.
Over the following weeks and months I ran into Joel many more times. I would sometimes seek him out. I would not only give him what he needed to buy a bottle of wine at "yonder store" but I'd walk down to the park by the lake and hang out with him. And we'd talk. We talked a lot. I was too young, too numb, to talk about the horrors in my life. So Joel told me about his. He pretty much told me everything about his life.
and a rough life it had been. His upbringing wasn't great, yet he managed to keep life together enough to have a job, get married, and have children.
And then came Vietnam. He was drafted, and off he went to do his duty. But like many, war was hell for Joel. And like many, the horrors of war were too much for Joel. He came back a broken man. A shell of a human being. And like many coming home from Vietnam, there was no sympathy. No understanding. No compassion. No support, and precious few resources. Joel was never able to integrate back into "life at home". He eventually lost his wife. Lost his family. Lost... everything. Ended up on the streets, where he remained until his death.
Joel's shell lived on many years after the war. But as sure as I'm typing this... Joel died in that war.
On this day, Memorial Day, when we remember those who were killed in war, I'm reminded that in many cases, those were the lucky ones. For many, like Joel, death took years, and sometimes decades, to finally claim their victim.
War is Hell. I long for the day when we honor those who have fallen by putting an end to it. There is no glory in war. There is no honor to be found in it. There is no patriotic hooplah to be found in it. There is only hell, and hell abundant.
People sometimes joke with me over my use of the word "yonder". I will reference things as "over yonder bridge" or "yonder store" or whatnot... It is my tribute to Joel.  Goodbye Joel. You were the best friend that 38 cents ever bought.

Eclipsicle Thoughts

2017-08-23T10:47:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of hype building up to this week's eclipse. Some of it is understandable, given the rarity of the occasion, but I think this whole eclipse thing is blown way out of proportion. Here are some of my random thoughts.

When I failed to show sufficient enthusiasm about the upcoming eclipse a friend of mine gave me a link to a Ted Talk about why everyone should view a total eclipse at least once in their life. The man in the Ted Talk described his experience the first time he saw a total eclipse. He described what could only be a spiritual experience, a connection with The Universe that he'd never felt before, as this unique occurrence of nature was shared with others. He said he wasn't a spiritual person, but that this experience touched him so much he was sharing with everyone he could that they should experience it too.
This Ted Talk did not have the affect my friend hoped it would! It did clarify for me what bothered me about all the hype regarding the eclipse. The eclipse this man experienced was indeed an awesome thing, but it was the connection he felt with The Universe that was what he was talking about. He felt that connection during an eclipse, and so felt that there is some magic in an eclipse. But can't a person feel that same connection with The Universe watching an ordinary sunset? Or sitting on an ocean beach? Or watching hummingbirds dance in the sky?
My spiritual path has been to find this connection with The Universe every day, not just during the exceptional parts of life, but while doing the mundane things of life. I want that connection all of the time. With that path before me I've spent a lot of time this summer sitting in my front yard, bare feet on the Earth, listening, watching, reading, being.

Ray's Pondering Chair

And so the day of the eclipse came upon us and I found myself outside sitting in my chair, a cup of coffee within reach, and my dog close by. My chair is facing away from the morning sun and I chose not to move it. While everyone seemed to think the big show of the eclipse was happening by staring at the sun, I learned long ago not to do such foolish things. Special glasses or not... looking into the sun isn't smart. Besides, I felt the bigger show was to observe the rest of the world around me. I knew I'd see pictures after the fact of the sun and moon in much greater detail than I could ever hope to see with my own eyes, but who would take pictures of the rest of my world during those moments? Nobody! So that is where I focused my attention.

Where I live in Western Washington we didn't get a total eclipse, but we did get, I think, 93% or 94% of the sun blocked out. During the hour before the maximum eclipse I observed it getting dimmer and dimmer. We have a lot of dark days here in Western Washington, but this was unlike anything we experience in normal life. It was dark, yet the sun was still shining down from above, everything still cast a shadow. In contrast, during "ordinary" dark days where the sky is filled with cloud cover, there is no sun in the sky and there are no shadows. Just darkness. It wasn't anything that resembled evening, either. As evening approaches and it gets darker and darker the sun casts long shadows until everything is swallowed up by the shadow of the Earth as the sun passes over the horizon.

This wasn't that. It was dark, yet the sun was still high in the sky. It was dark, yet the sun still cast shadows. My friend Bruce described it best in his blog post in The Mountain News when he said: "the darkness had a brightness to it that was incongruous".

My dog didn't seem to notice anything out of the ordinary. Nor did the cat. But the birds noticed. I'm used to hearing the background music of birds flying around and singing. As the peak eclipse approached they all went quiet, with the exception of the chickens someone has on the next block over. they were raising quite the fuss. But the chickens quieted down after a while, when it started getting brighter again, and then the other birds started resuming their usual mid-morning activities.
I did not observe the bees or other insects during my two hours outside, but I'm told by people who have bees that as the eclipse darkened the skies the bees returned to their hives.

Isn't it interesting how the insects and animals in nature who had no advance knowledge of the eclipse reacted to it just the same? I feel this is because their day to day survival requires them to be aware of their surroundings. The bees returned to their hives just as they would prior to evening or a rainstorm. The birds also reacted. Yet my dog and cat didn't even notice. But then again, my dog and cat are fed and have a warm place to sleep regardless of what goes on outdoors. As such, perhaps they've lost more of their connection with nature than we realize.

And people... how far removed from nature are we? We're so stupid we have to be told not to look into the sun. I saw facebook posts of people asking if they should keep their pets indoors during the eclipse so they wouldn't be blinded by looking into the sun. Really? Are there actually people THAT stupid to think that their pets are dumb enough to stare directly into the sun? Yes, there are!

And while everyone else was busy staring into the sun to find some connection with The Universe... I was siting in my chair watching the rest of the show. It was an interesting show. It was a weird show. I'd love to do it again where I can experience a total eclipse. I enjoyed myself. I felt Mother Earth through my bare toes. I spent two hours breathing outside air and enjoying the company of my dog. I'm not sure that I felt any more connection to The Universe than I usually do during my morning time outdoors. But I certainly felt less connection with the insanity of the people around me. I'm not sure if that puts me ahead of most people... or behind most people... or just on a different path.

Hey... it's been a long time since I've posted on my blog or updated my website. There are reasons for all of that but I think I'll be posting more soon. No promises though. :)

-Raymond Cool

Why Wheat Haters Have It Wrong

2016-06-12T20:51:00.000-07:00

Delicious Spelt Pizza!

I talk to many people who are convinced that wheat is unhealthy, and many claim to be allergic to gluten, or have an intolerance to it.

I believe most of them are mistaken.

First off, let me clarify: Gluten allergies/sensitivities are a real thing. Some people have a broader sensitivity to wheat. Combined these conditions affect 1-3% of the human population. Those people who have a true issue with gluten should avoid it, just as anyone allergic to any other particular food needs to avoid it.

(If you believe you have an issue with gluten you NEED to be tested for celiac disease. It isn't something to be taken for granted, and you need to know. Celiac is a serious condition which demands a rigorous change in lifestyle. On the other hand, there is no reason to go through all that if you don't actually have it. Get the test.)

Why then does it seem that a much larger percentage of the population has an issue with wheat/gluten? Certainly, in my talking to people, a much higher percentage CLAIM to have an issue with it.

Here's why, in a nutshell.

While only 1-3% of people have an actual issue with wheat or gluten, nearly 100% of humans have an issue with highly processed and refined foods. Let's face it: nearly 100% of the wheat that most people eat in modern times is highly processed, over refined, nutritionally dead, and can hardly be called food. The closest thing most people get to "whole grains" is the occasional slice of wheat bread.

We should be pointing the finger and blaming ourselves for what we've turned an otherwise healthy food into. Instead we blame the wheat itself.

One of the most common arguments I hear is that modern wheat isn't natural. That it has been hybridized into frankenfood that is not only unnatural and unhealthy, but downright poison to us. These arguments are espoused in some books and many blogs, and I admit, they even sound like legitimate and rationale arguments. But I've never seen them followed by the next logical step, which is that if modern grains aren't healthy, we need to go back to eating the ancient grains. This >IS< where that argument should end up, right? But I've never seen it go there.

Instead, without exception, the "modern wheat is evil" arguments are always followed with "all wheat, all grains, all carbohydrates are evil and unhealthy." Imagine that. They make an argument against modern wheat and conclude that all grains, even the ancient ones, and non grains like potatoes are unhealthy. How do they make THAT jump?

Dr. McDougall is well known for pointing out that throughout all of verifiable human history, all large, healthy populations of humans have gotten the bulk of their calories from whole-food starches. These are the foods of health, the foods that brought us civilization in the first place.

Yes, the form most people eat wheat in is unhealthy and poisonous. The logical response is to eat those grains in their whole, natural form, with as little processing as possible.

Need some evidence? Here is a picture of me the day I got my grain mill:

Raymond Cool showing off his new Grain Mill. (2011)

This was early in 2011. I weighed about 500 pounds. I made the decision to add whole grains into my diet with the hope of becoming a bit healthier. I had no real expectation of losing significant weight. I didn't believe I could lose significant weight. But I believed I could be a bit healthier, so I started eating whole grains. I bought this grain mill and started baking my own wholesome nutritious breads. I made my own breakfast cereals.

And I lost weight. A LOT of weight. About 300 pounds of excess weight!

Here is what I look like these days:

Raymond Cool

I still eat plenty of whole grains, including delicious, wholesome breads. This is a picture of my dinner tonight:

Spelt Pizza - June 12th, 2016 (It was DELICIOUS!)

It is a pizza made from wholesome, delicious spelt flour, which I milled by hand with love. It was absolutely delicious! Spelt is an ancient grain, and is one of many ancient grains that one could use instead of modern wheat, if you were convinced modern wheat isn't suitable for food. I eat a variety of wheat grains, including spelt, durum, kamut, and also modern wheat. I look forward to eating and cooking with more as time goes on.

The idea that you can eat food like this, lose weight, and become healthier in the process are ideas that many find too good to be true. So they cling to their "grains are bad" mantra, suffer with their low-carb diets, and find marginal success, if any at all.

One reason people cling to such thinking is this: They've heard the arguments, they've tried giving up wheat, and they felt better for it! How do I explain this? Easy! Since nearly 100% of wheat people eat in modern times is highly processed poison, it is logical to conclude that ANYONE would feel better not eating it. Again, the finger should be pointed at the highly processed poison... not the wholesome whole grains from whence it came. Their argument isn't against wheat, it's against highly refined wheat, and they miss out on some really good things by believing as they do. What's worse, since wheat is a natural human food, most people eventually "cheat" and sneak some. But when they do, it's not the whole-grains I eat, it's processed junk they used to eat, and of course, it makes them feel bad, and their convictions become even firmer.

Eat your grains. Eat them in their whole, natural state whenever possible. When making breads/pizzas, make them out of wholemeal flour. Better yet, buy a grain mill and grind your own! It is fun, it is healthy, it is the most delicious bread/pizza you'll ever eat!

Don't hate me! Join me instead! Better health comes with many delicious foods. Whole grains are our friends!

Happy Eating!

Looking Back: May 5th, 2013

2016-02-22T19:58:00.002-08:00

I first shared this photo almost 3 years ago:

It was a day of excitement and wonderment! For the first time since Junior High School I weighed less than 200 pounds!

I think most can appreciate that this must have been quite an accomplishment for me. Some know just how big of one!

At the time I was looking only at the future and what lay ahead. I had it all mapped out and it would be smooth sailing! I would finish my journey to lose 300 pounds, I would write a book about it, I would become a weight-loss guru and help countless others do the same. Life would be the proverbial "happily ever after"!

That was three years ago and life sure did take some unexpected turns! There was no smooth sailing. In fact, these past three years have been the most difficult of my entire journey. How was I to know that the path forward meant going backwards? Way backwards!

The short story: Food is powerful medicine. Food can heal, food can help us lose weight. Look what food has done for me! But food is physical and it can only heal our physical bodies. The truth is that I have a lifetime of emotional baggage. I thought that the end of my physical weight-loss journey put an end to any emotional baggage associated with having been so morbidly obese all those years.

Not so. Turns out that all the life issues that got me up to 500 pounds were still there, and that pushing forward meant dealing with those life issues. Denying them and refusing to deal with them took me where I was... and could do so again.

This came as quite the blow to me, and took me a good bit of time to sort out. During that time I lost a grip on my eating. Is this any real surprise? Life was supposed to be perfect, I was supposed to be cured, and then one emotional train wreck popped up after another. I started putting weight back on. I think we have all seen or heard of people, who, like me, have lost large amounts of weight, and know that in most cases they end up putting it all back on. I now understand why that is. Once we fix the physical, and everyone expects us to be "cured", the real Pandora's Box of our past starts demanding to be dealt with, and that is very hard to bear.

Fortunately for me, I was so steeped in the food... I knew WHAT to eat. I loved the foods that I ate, and although the amount of food I ate was out of control, it was, for the most part, healthy food. Although it resulted in weight gain, it didn't result in putting back on large amounts of weight. The food bought me time. Sufficient time to start dealing with my emotional baggage, my life issues. It has taken me over 2 years since then to work through the process far enough to actually talk about it publicly. Had I not been so firmly grounded in the food I would have easily put on enough weight to have caused me to given up completely. That is how the story usually goes.

In addition to being so firmly grounded in the food, I am, and have always been firmly grounded in my life journey. This life journey is one much bigger than my weight loss journey, and I'll share more of it in time.

So where am I? Physically I am where I was about 3 years ago. I am just under 200 pounds, inching towards my goal of losing 300, and just as determined to get there as ever. Mentally, though, I'm in a much better place than 3 years ago. I have been through the dark valley, I have dealt with enough of my demons to allow me to start moving forward again, and am continuing to work on the rest.

Don't count me out, and don't bet against me!

-Raymond Cool

Where In The World Is Raymond Cool?

2015-12-01T22:42:00.000-08:00

Have you seen this man?

Missing In Action

Two years ago Raymond Cool arrived on the scene with aplomb. News of his phenomenal 300 pound weight loss journey had spread far and wide. Newspapers were writing articles about him. His face was plastered on TV and all over social media. He was poised to become the next weight-loss guru.

And then...

Well, that's the big question. What then? Where is Raymond Cool? His blog is abandoned. His website is in disarray. Has he fallen off the wagon? Did he come this far just to fade into the woodwork?

WHERE IS RAYMOND COOL?

Stay tuned to find out...

What Finally Motivated Me To Change?

2015-08-30T21:44:00.002-07:00

One of the most common questions people ask me is "What finally motivated you to change?" I've always had an awkward time answering this question and after having a couple years to ponder on it I've come up with a more complete answer.

The truth is, I've always been motivated to change. As a pudgy child I tried to lose weight. I remember being put on a diet that turned quickly into torture. It didn't last long. As a teenager I would ride my bike trying to lose weight. I even got up early in the morning and jogged, per the advice of a well meaning P.E. teacher.

As an adult I tried numerous times to lose weight, with varying degrees of success. My fallback plan was the tried and true Eat Less And Exercise More that has come to be the standard formula for weight loss in the Western World. As a man who's lost and kept off more than 250 pounds, I can tell you that the trusted "formula" is severely lacking. Watch my video The Lies We Believe About Diet And Weight Loss if you're not convinced by the end of this article.

The reason I've struggled with this question is because it makes an assumption that isn't true: It assumes that I finally succeeded because I finally found sufficient motivation.

This Simply Is Not True.

I did not find some hidden spring of motivation. I did not find some Super-Human willpower that was lacking before. In fact, I have no more willpower than I have ever had.

So what made the difference? Why have I failed to lose weight my entire life but this time I've had quite a bit of success?

Knowledge and Perspective.

I finally learned how to eat foods that satisfied my appetite while letting me lose weight. It's that simple. There is no magic. There is no mystery. I became willing to look at diet, health, & weight loss in different ways and from a different perspective than before.

I did not have to change how much I ate, I only needed to change WHAT I ate.

When I learned this I was filled with joy... no more starving myself! I was willing to put a bit of effort into learning. I was willing to put an effort into changing how I looked at food. The promise that doing so meant I could lose weight without starving myself was all the motivation I needed. And while I had to eat less of some foods I loved, I got to eat more of other foods I loved. Yes! I got to eat real food that satisfied my appetite!

5 years into this I LOVE the food I eat. I do not go to bed hungry. If I'm hungry, I eat, it doesn't matter if it's midnight. I never wake up dreading another day of impossible "dieting". I am one happy camper who's 250+ pounds lighter for the "trouble" of learning some simple dietary concepts.

But people don't believe they can lose weight without starving. People are wrong. I'm living proof of that. I work with people every day who are living proof of this.

And people are willing to starve themselves repeatedly and without lasting results, but they're not willing to learn new things. Isn't that crazy?

Are you willing to look at food differently than you have in the past?

Are you willing to look at weight loss differently than you have in the past?

Are you willing to make small changes in what you eat?

Would you, if it meant you could lose weight without starving?

- Raymond Cool

Ray Turns 50!

2015-01-28T11:35:00.001-08:00

It's Time... To Start Thinking About... New Years Resolutions!

2014-11-18T09:52:00.004-08:00

Evening Magazine

2014-01-09T11:38:00.000-08:00

Here is a segment that ran on Channel 5's Evening Magazine Program featuring me.

The Lies We Believe About Diet And Weight Loss

2013-12-18T09:42:00.001-08:00

So much of the struggles we have with weight loss are because of the lies we've been told and tell ourselves and actually believe about diet, health, and nutrition. This video is my first attempt to put this presentation into words. It will be something I develop into one of my standard presentations, so expect to see different incarnations of it over time.

Enjoy!

Introducing My New Website

2013-11-30T09:35:00.000-08:00

Greetings to all my friends, followers, and supporters on this long Thanksgiving Weekend! I want to introduce my new website!

Three Hundred Pounds Of Joy!

No, my blog is not going anywhere, but I am not planning on making frequent posts here, transitioning over to my new website instead.

Daily updates and rantings will all be over there on the main page. In time I will add more content there and eventually it will be an entire on-line community unto itself.

Important announcements and updates will probably also be posted here.

Happy Holidays!!

Weight Loss Update & Spine Surgery Update: 11/18/13

2013-11-18T15:45:00.001-08:00

It has been forever since I've had a weight loss update, and quite a few days since a surgery update. We're going to combine them into one blog entry!

Surgery - Post Op, Day 28 (4 weeks since surgery)

Recovery continues to go very well. I no longer need my walker, canes, or walking stick. I can now walk as far as I want without pain from the surgery site. This past Thursday I walked 10 miles, and while my hips, knees, feet, and middle back started to complain, my lower back did just fine.

I see no point in pushing myself to walk further and further since I've reached a point where my other body parts start complaining long before the repaired parts do!

I have backed off to walking six miles a day using the Nordic Walking Poles. This is one mile a day more than my pre-op routine and I am comfortable with it.

I'm finding it easier to sit for prolonged periods and to stand. I'm still not supposed to twist or bend or lift heavy things any time soon. I see my surgeon on December 5th, expect another surgery update then.

-------------------------------------------------------

Weight Loss Update

I weighed 202 pounds this morning. This is 4 pounds heavier than my weight the day before surgery and 10 pounds higher than my lowest 10 day average.

Do not be alarmed by this!!! :) When I learned on October 2nd that I'd be having surgery on the 21st, I intentionally started eating more food. I wanted to go into surgery with plenty of reserves. I increased my protein and fat intake and had gained several pounds by the time of surgery.

After surgery I intentionally ate as much of EVERYTHING that I wanted to. I wanted to make sure my body had an excess of nutrients to help me heal quickly. I ate plenty of protein. And I indulged in as much of the high-calorie comfort foods that I enjoy.

I didn't eat anything bad, though I did eat far too much of things I'd normally restrict severely or not eat at all. Nuts, dried fruits, tortilla chips, crackers, and chocolate chocolate chocolate. Oh, and I ate as much chocolate as I wanted.

Many of you will no doubt think I went off the deep end, fell off the wagon, JUST as I finally got it all figured out.

Nope.

It is human nature to indulge in comfort foods during times of stress and sickness. I would dare say that my eating behavior during this time of medical recovery is.... normal.

I'm up ten pounds after 45 days of eating as much of everything as I wanted. I know how much I ate, you don't, and I gotta tell you, I'm surprised it's only ten pounds!! It reinforces in my mind the fact that your body actively seeks to burn off excess carbohydrates if at all possible, rather than store them as fat.

Today marks 4 weeks and a transition back to my normal eating patterns. I am determined more than ever to resume right where I picked up and continue on until I reach my goal of having lost 300 pounds. Even at my new "bloated" weight of 202 pounds, I still only have 16 pounds to drop to reach the magical 300 pound mark.

Can I do it? Anyone want to take bets?

-Raymond Cool aka Norm

Post Op Update: Day 12

2013-11-02T14:55:00.001-07:00

Here is a picture of me headed out for part of my daily walk today.

I am now pushing that walker six miles a day. I hope to be done with the walker soon but for now I'm not stable enough on my feet and simply can't risk a fall.

I am off all pain meds. This isn't to say I'm not in pain, but it's quite manageable.

My mind is clearer every day. Still a touch of fog. The other day I sent out a 10 day update email when it was only day 9, so there's still a bit of fog still needing to clear the air. :)

I have not resumed driving yet. I was planning on driving to church tomorrow but my wife put the nix nix on that idea. She'll drive me. Maybe next week. :)

All in all recovery is coming along nicely. Now I need to start healing. Or rather, fusing. Pray and send positive energy my way for a quick fusion so that I can get the green light to resume my Super Powers!

-Ray aka Norm

Spine Surgery: One Week Post-Op

2013-10-29T10:17:00.000-07:00

So an entire week has passed since I've had surgery and so much has happened how do I write it all down? And yet... at the same time... so little has happened how do I find anything to write about?

How can it be both? Easy!! First I'll talk about the "so little". The biggest question anyone asks me is "How am I doing?" and "How did the surgery go?"

How do I answer these questions? I don't know, so I end up giving generic and vague answers. The answers >I< want and care about are months in the future.   I want this surgery to fix some serious problems I have and I want to live a much fuller life with considerably less pain.   And I am not likely to know these outcomes until they arrive.

I know what the surgeon has told me, which is limited. I only saw him briefly after surgery and wasn't in any condition to ask him detailed questions. He said he was pleased with the results and confident of ultimate success.   I see him again next week and will know more.

So what do I do all day every day? Not much. I spend an insane amount of time in bed. I can't stand for long unless I'm walking. I can't sit for long. Doctors orders. I can't exercise, except for walking. I'm allowed to get up and walk as much as I can, but I'll tell you, after spinal surgery it aint easy to just get up and go walking.

Most of this first week the time in bed hasn't been too bad. I slept so much. But I'm all caught up on sleep and now I spend a lot of time just laying in bed bored out of my skull. I'm actually considering taking up talking on the phone more. Oh life would be good if I had a phone addiction!   Anyone have hours to kill talking on the phone?   (Just kidding. Maybe?)

The Mental Fog that plagued me so strongly is lifting. It still hits me. My limited time sitting at the computer isn't the most productive yet. I find myself still just staring at it too much. I'm usually quite the multitasker while at the computer but find it hard yet to concentrate on more than one thing at a time.

Yet I've come a long way in one week. I walked 2 miles yesterday. I'm not sure how many people are walking 2 miles a day 7 days post-op from major spine surgery but I bet I'm on the high end of that curve.

My physical therapist seemed surprised with how far I was walking before I left the hospital.

My occupational therapists seemed almost unhappy that she had absolutely nothing to offer me. On my first visit with her, less than 24 hours after surgery, I was able to get on/off a toilet by myself without any assistance or aides.    On her next visit, the next day, I was able to fully dress myself, including shoes and socks, even the cumbersome compression socks they insist I wear. I admit, getting up off the toilet by myself was not easy. Neither was putting on those compression socks. But she seemed so insistent that I'd need help that I was determined to do it myself. A week later these tasks are quite a bit easier.

The day after coming home I walked a whole mile. Not all at once. Since then I've been walking more and I now walk three times a day and am up to two miles a day. I hope to be up to to three miles a day within the next week.

I take very little pain medication. Which isn't to say I'm not in any pain. I'm in considerable pain. But the pain meds only dull it and come at a high cost. They contribute to nausea and make me far more content to sit in misery than to push through and get up on my feet walking. This is the vicious cycle and evil allure of pain meds. They convince you that you can't function without them... yet they leave you content to function less than you would otherwise. Not good. I've lived with enough pain the past years that it doesn't scare me. I'll take a pill or two, but only after I've done my walking, and only to make it more comfortable to rest.

So to answer the questions?

How did surgery go? It went as well as can be expected and we'll know in time if it was successful.

How am I doing?    I am doing. I can't say I'm doing good or bad at this time. If it is all for a better outcome then I will look back on these weeks/months as just another part of my journey, and view them in a positive light and worth it.   If there isn't a positive outcome then I've put myself through considerable pain and torture for what?

There isn't any point in not remaining positive and hoping and working for the best possible outcome, and that is where I choose to keep my head. Your continued prayers and positive energy my way is appreciated!

-Ray    aka Norm

Spine Surgery Update: 10/17/13

2013-10-17T10:23:00.000-07:00

I had my pre-op appointments yesterday and it looks like surgery is a go for Monday the 21st!!

We're hoping to be able to restore my spine to it's original position, but my surgeon doesn't think that is likely for a number of reasons. We're also hoping to be able to fuse just one level, but it may require going up a second level.   My surgeon wont know which route to take till he sees what's happening inside, so I won't know what happens till afterwards.

Best case scenario: Full restoration of my original spine position fusing only one level    Worst case scenario: My spine gets fused where it's at and fusing two levels. The likely result is probably closer to the worse case than the best case, so everyone send me your prayers, best wishes, and positive energy for as positive an outcome as is possible.

Anyone wishing to receive email updates about my surgery send an email to rayishavingsurgery@gmail.com and you'll be added to the list. Don't expect any updates until Monday evening.

-Ray    aka Norm

Spine Surgery Update

2013-10-03T08:48:00.001-07:00

After 10 months of wishy washy doctors being unable to make a decision I am finally being seen by the Top Guns at the University Of Washington Medical Center and not only are they willing to fix the problem but I have a date for surgery!!

October 21st, 2013!!

Yes!! This year!! This month!! In less than 3 weeks!

So much to do between now and then!!! But I am thrilled!!

-Ray aka Norm

Out Of Nowhere: Another 122 Pounds Gone!!!

2013-10-01T11:41:00.000-07:00

It is often sad and frustrating to see and watch people who desperately need to do something about their diet and health, but who just can't or won't make the slightest effort.

I have tried many ways of approaching these people and hope to one day learn the best way to do so, without turning them off or driving them away.    But my experience in this matter mirrors my lifetime of experience in other areas of life: You can't change people who aren't ready to change themselves.

With this mindset my main focus is to plant seeds everywhere I go. Everybody I talk to, every conversation I have, every situation I'm in, I try to be planting seeds of thought in people's minds in hopes that they'll think on them and stir themselves into action. Then when I see a seed that is starting to sprout, I rush to it and give it some water! But not too much, lest I drown it and kill it! A little water, a little nurture, and soon a seed can be growing on it's own!

This is the best way to change people's lives, in my opinion. And it's the only one that I've found that actually works. I hear others who have become disillusioned in their own attempts to change people, and have convinced themselves that it's impossible and just not worth the effort. I think these people focus too much on trying to win converts. On preaching too hard. If they see someone with a spark of interest they rush to them and overload them with so much information it scares them away. And in the end they sit by themselves in their own little world having convinced nobody to join them.    They should try backing off the hard sell and focus on planting seeds, and focus on not killing the seeds that sprout by overwatering or overfeeding them.

But there is one drawback to my approach. Often, you never get to see the results of the lives you've influenced because you're not around when the seed starts to grow, and even though you're the one who planted it, you never knew what became of it!!

And then sometimes you're blessed! This whole blog post is about such a time!!    I had a woman approach me before church this past Sunday and she was so excited to tell me that her entire family was focussing on eating better and losing weight, and that between them all they'd already lost 122 pounds!

Whoo Hoo!! 122 pounds!!    I hadn't even known that this lady and her family had taken anything I'd said to heart, or that they were making any efforts to change their health. I had no clue until she came up to tell me!!

This reminds me of a woman I talked to about a year ago... She was also excited to tell me about the changes her and her husband had made and their improvement in health.... and I had NEVER even talked to this woman before! She had merely overheard a conversation I had with someone else, went home, did some research, and started making changes based on what she overheard me tell someone else!!

This is how planting seeds works. You hit people with too much information and it scares them away. But if you plant little seeds of information they can think on by themselves, you never know what'll come of it!!

Plant seeds!    Plant lots of them!! You never know which ones will sprout and will be amazed at how many do!

-Ray    aka Norm

Weight Loss Update: 09/22/13

2013-09-22T17:32:00.000-07:00

Greetings! In my last Weight Loss Update one month ago I reported holding steady at and around 195 pounds.   I can report today that the "holding pattern" that was holding me there is over with and I am now moving forward toward my goals.

I am charging full steam ahead! My Ten Day Average for today is 192.4 pounds, but my actual weight this morning is under 190 pounds.   The weight is coming off fairly rapidly and at the current trend I will hit 186 pounds quite soon. This will put me at the 300 pound mark.

Big things happen for me once I cross that 300 pound mark. That is when I pull out all the stops and really go public with my story. I have known this for quite some time and I think I wasn't quite ready for all that is about to happen in my life. Perhaps I needed a few months "breathing room" to collect my thoughts. In any event, my rest is over with and I am as ready as I'll ever be for what lies ahead.

I still do not know if I will adjust my "final" goal upwards or not.   I am not sure I will make it down to 173 pounds. I honestly do not know just how to judge a healthy body weight for myself, having never had one. The charts aren't the best of help, as I have some physical anomalies that change things up.   Right now I'm content to eat as I am and see where my body goes with it.

This will probably be my last weight loss update before hitting the magic 300 pound mark. That will be quite the announcement, so I'd like to take a little time now and thank some people whose support and inspiration have been of particular help to me lately. They are, in no particular order: Susannah, Christine, Heidi, Valerie, Stephen, and Chris. Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

-Ray

Interesting Article: Man Loses 245 Pounds!

2013-09-10T22:24:00.001-07:00

Below is the link to a man who's lost 245 pounds! Of interest to me is that he transitioned slowly off a high fat meat diet to a vegan diet. All you naysayers out there... go suck a pickle!!! :)

Good Job Marlon!

Click Here >>>> Marlon Gibson Loses 245 Pounds

Friday Morning Rant

2013-09-06T18:29:00.000-07:00

Greetings and Happy Friday.     It is 11:58 AM as I start typing so I'm calling this "Friday Morning Rant" even though it'll be long after noon before I hit "publish".   Oh well. :)

If you wish to skip the rant, here is the short version: I saw my spinal surgeon today, he agreed surgery was a valid option and is referring me on to the University of Washington because of their expertise.    I am pleased to be moving FORWARD, though who knows how quickly things happen from here.

The long version.    Why are doctors such idiots? Why do they take so long to come to the simplest of conclusions? Why don't they LISTEN to their patients?

For those not up to speed on what's up with my spine. In technical terms: I have bilateral pars fractures of the L5 vertebrae resulting in a free floating lamina, spondylolisthesis (about 50%), and severe disc degeneration between L5/S1. The spine is unstable at this level.    In non-technical terms, my lower spine is busted up, worn out, and slops around like a slinky.

My issues with my spine are long term. I've known about the spondylolisthesis for ten years, and it has caused considerable pain and discomfort since then.    Surgery was first mentioned as an option then, but only in the context of "if you weren't so heavy this could be fixed".   As I lost weight the pain and discomfort got less and less and eventually I felt great and had little discomfort at all.

That's when I started DOING more.   A lot more biking. A lot more walking. A lot more yoga. A lot more standing. And with all the increased activity came back pain and troubles. Turns out that weight loss helped a lot, but wasn't going to solve my back problems.

This was in December 2012. I called my doctor. He ordered a CT scan which, in his own words to me over the phone, "didn't look too bad" and suggested I give my back a month and see if it doesn't feel better.    Is it even remotely possible he was looking at the same CT scan I later saw, which showed in great detail the extent of my problems?    I waited the obligatory month before making another appointment, going in to see him, and having him refer me on to an orthopedic surgeon.

Finally! Someone who can help me! I schedule an appointment and when I see the surgeon he looks at my CT scan and proceeds to show me exactly what is wrong with my spine and boldly declares "I can fix that!" then proceeded to tell me all about Transpedicular Instrumented Spinal Fusion.   This was a lot coming at me very quickly. I had hoped something could be done for my spine but hadn't actually thought about WHAT could be done. I have heard all the stories about spinal fusion surgery, and I must have had a look of horror on my face because the doctor then backed off and said "Why don't you go home, do your own research, think about it, and come back in three months and tell me what you decide".

I did. I read a lot. I eventually came to the conclusion that the risks were acceptable when weighed against the known issues I would live with for the rest of my life without surgery, as well as the likely further deterioration of my spine in the coming years. So when I returned in three months I was eager to proceed and said so. That is when I met Mr. Hyde. My surgeon was a new man! Just three months earlier he was eagerly telling me he could fix my back but now that I was ready to do it he was like "Whoah, let's back off this, we can't rush into surgery." Fine. What do we do next, I asked. He explained that before surgery I must first make an effort to exercise and build up my core strength to see if that helps stabilize my spine any. I reminded him that I already had a pretty good exercise routine in place and in fact, was about to celebrate one year of having started DDP Yoga.    Not good enough. So I pressed him again, asking him what specific thing he wanted me to do. Finally he says he would send me to Physical Therapy where he'd be assured I was getting the exercises I needed to stabilize my spine.

So off to Physical Therapy I go, where the therapist determines before too many visits that I've already got the motivation and exercise program in place and that my spine isn't likely to stabilize with what little more he could offer me. He did teach me exercises to do (and some to avoid) for my specific condition, but basically was of the conclusion that my PT visits (of which I get only so many per year) would be far wiser used AFTER surgery to help me recover.

So today I return to the surgeon. We discuss the current state of my back. We discuss the physical therapists report. He says he wants to see just how unstable my spine is so sends me down the hall to get two xrays done. One with me bending forward, one with me bending backwards, so he could compare the two and see just how much movement there was.

Afterwards, we reviewed the xrays and he showed me just how unstable my spine is! (as if >I< didn't know)

      --- <<sub_rant>> This brings up another sub-rant... I have asked doctors for ten years why they only take one xray/mri/ct scan of my back? I tell them they only see one snapshot that way and don't get to see just how much movement there is down there, and suggested taking multiple images just like was done today... this was always met with deaf ears... and although Dr. Brilliance had the intelligence to do so today, had he done so six months ago when I first told him my spine "slopped around like a slinky" could we have gotten to this point sooner than now and not wasted six months? Retards!! <</sub_rant>> ---

Bottom line: Given the degree of spondylolisthesis I have, the length of time I've had it, and the degree of instability of my spine, he thinks I should be seen by the folks up at the University of Washington.    So...   in my three visits to him we've gone from "I can fix that!" to "I'm not sure you actually need surgery" to "You need surgery but it's more than I can do."

Frustrating. Meanwhile, it's coming up on 10 months since I first called my doctor complaining about my back. I had hoped to start school this fall but that is on hold until the back surgery thing is dealt with. I feel like my entire life is on hold until this is resolved.

A big thank you to my friends who've pointed out the positive things that have occurred as a result of this delay, and for all those who keep me in their thoughts and prayers.

-Ray    aka    Norm

Article In The Eatonville Dispatch

2013-08-22T19:53:00.000-07:00

Here is an article in one of the local papers about my weight loss journey.

Changing Diet Helps Man Lose Nearly 300 Pounds

The On-Line version of the article did not include a Before picture, so I've included one below.

Click Picture To View Full Sized

-Ray aka Norm

Weight Loss Update: 08/21/2013

2013-08-21T18:34:00.000-07:00

Greetings. It has been too long since I've had a weight loss update. I've been busy, and there hasn't been anything to report on the weight loss front!

The chart below should tell the whole story:

Click Graph to view Full-Sized

The lines on this graph are my 1/10/20/30 day averages, and as you can see I've been holding pretty steady at around 195-197 pounds for over three months. There are a few daily fluctuations but the 10/20/30 day lines make the story pretty clear.

Depending on what you consider my height to be (It changes daily due to spinal issues) I should have another 12-24 pounds to before I'm at a chart normal weight. Will I get there? I don't know. Most of me is pretty lean and bony. I do have excess in some odd places. The remnants of decades of carrying hundreds of extra pounds, and then losing most of it.

My journey is onward and forward. I would like to at least drop another 10 pounds and make my weight loss an even 300 pounds. That will happen when it happens. Right now my body seems to be content at 195 pounds, regardless of how much or how little I eat, or how much or how little I exercise. A recent push to exercise hard and break through this plateau left my immune system weakened which let me get a really bad flu, from which I'm still recovering. So when I'm feeling better I'll not be hitting the exercise quite so hard, and will be more content with where I'm at and where my body wants to be.

290 pounds lost! I'm happy. :)

-Norm aka Raymond Cool