A Birth Mother Voice

Not mane, name! It's late, sorry.

2016-02-01T21:46:38.811-08:00

Not mane, name! It's late, sorry.

Thank you, and great to see YOUR mane again. It...

2016-02-01T21:45:54.503-08:00

Thank you, and great to see YOUR mane again. It's been far too long.

Welcome back!

2016-02-01T16:56:36.632-08:00

Welcome back!

I am adopted, and it hurts me to think of my mothe...

2015-07-16T07:11:13.383-07:00

I am adopted, and it hurts me to think of my mother. She now has a son, I'm afraid that she loves me, she loves him and not me. I want to ask you mothers: what do you feel when you give the child up for adoption? I read that many mothers write "I really love my son." But what do you feel concretely for this child? My mother was happy to know that I'm okay, and that I seek her, but relatives say she was a bad woman, who did not care much about his children.
Answer me please, you do not grow the children that you gave up for adoption, so I want to ask you: why do you love this child? what you feel for him? you worry for him? if hem die or has an accident do you worry as they worry her adoptive parents?
the relationship that a (birth) mother has with her child is not the same relationship that you have with a child that you grow for a lifetime. My (adoptive) mother worries a lot to me, she loves me, she knows my character and how I react to events, my (birth) mother does not know anything about me, so why she should love me? i don't judje, but think about that hurts me so much, i want to understand, i want to have a testimony from a (birth) mother.
Update: What would you do for that child? would you kill urself for him? I think that love we must built, as well as the relationships, just maternal instinct isn't enough......

I am adopted, and it hurts me to think of my mothe...

2015-07-16T07:10:02.371-07:00

WOW. I understand your joy. Completely.

2013-12-10T18:54:21.668-08:00

WOW. I understand your joy. Completely.

This was a beautiful story - thanks for sharing! I...

2013-12-09T08:09:21.568-08:00

This was a beautiful story - thanks for sharing! I'm an adoptive mom trying to learn about birth mom perspectives. This was an encouraging post.

kelsie, I am glad that nurse spoke those wonderful...

2013-11-18T20:08:39.165-08:00

kelsie, I am glad that nurse spoke those wonderful affirming words to you. But, and I do mean but, she did not have the right to judge the other young women who did decide to parent their children .How could she possibly determine in the short time she if their reasons where good or bad? I am am birthmother, and have also been a nurse for 30 years, and have observed nurses display some incredibly judgmental behavior in this arena.

My daughter was born a month and a half ago. I pla...

2013-11-15T19:57:07.227-08:00

My daughter was born a month and a half ago. I placed her for adoption with this awesome couple. It is open. I was overjoyed when they told me they wanted her to know shes adopted growing up yesterday. I chose to only get pictures and will meet her when shes ready. Hearing that ment the world to me. Even though it may never change anything for me it may help her cope with the idea of being adopted. I found your book and think it may be a good idea. I just wish I could read it before I buy it.

Hi Kelsey! What a great story. Thank you for shari...

2013-11-05T21:55:17.756-08:00

Hi Kelsey!
What a great story. Thank you for sharing it. I've missed your blog these past months.
~Robyn

This is cool!

2013-07-16T23:33:52.567-07:00

This is cool!

Thanks for sharing your lovely story! I really enj...

2013-05-16T06:58:52.282-07:00

Thanks for sharing your lovely story! I really enjoyed reading it and looking at your blog.

Thanks for the shout out, Kelsey! And for sharing ...

2013-05-07T07:38:01.861-07:00

Thanks for the shout out, Kelsey! And for sharing your voice.

Oh I love this story!! We are a week away from ou...

2013-04-20T08:40:36.130-07:00

Oh I love this story!! We are a week away from our first visit with Baby Girls Birthfamily. We are going to be able to be there for Baby Girls birthsisters 20th birthday party! I'm looking forward to learning about their family traditions for birthdays. I think this story could not have come at a more perfect time.

Thank you as always. - M

It's interesting how similar the emotions of b...

2013-04-19T10:53:11.163-07:00

It's interesting how similar the emotions of birthmothers are. Our stories are probably hugely different, but I've felt and continue to feel much of what you described. Thoroughly enjoying your blog. Thank you for your words.

I enjoy the writings at Adoption Voices Magazine. ...

2013-03-23T09:36:00.297-07:00

I enjoy the writings at Adoption Voices Magazine. It is great to have a website out there that shares many different stories and views from all members of the adoption triad. It is very unique and I hope it gets a bigger audience over time because I think it is very educational!

Just an FYI re Open Adoption: It's a marketing...

2013-01-27T19:46:57.974-08:00

Just an FYI re Open Adoption: It's a marketing tactic. I'm not saying that o put you down or argue the point. It's a fact. I have the market research available here. http://www.adoptionbirthmothers.com/the-truth-about-adoption/adoption-industry/

THIS is what they use in the Infant Adoption Awareness Training now.

SO GLAD to see you blogging once again...and two d...

2013-01-27T16:58:48.512-08:00

SO GLAD to see you blogging once again...and two days in a row...yay! Love your voice, it encourages me so much...!

Congratulations Kelsey! You were up in my neck of...

2013-01-25T23:53:43.999-08:00

Congratulations Kelsey!

You were up in my neck of the woods. I hope you enjoyed The City.

When I run for School Board, I know who to ask for tips. :)

Congratulations on achieving a monumental goal!

2013-01-25T11:43:19.278-08:00

Congratulations on achieving a monumental goal!

The pain is on both sides. It's very hard for ...

2012-12-06T18:05:36.341-08:00

The pain is on both sides. It's very hard for a person to understand how their own mother can leave them, no matter how she explains. It's just the way the evil that is adoption works. A lifetime of pain for mother and child.

Oh, that post made me cry! How precious... It is t...

2012-11-16T13:44:11.084-08:00

Oh, that post made me cry! How precious... It is true - each of our adoption journeys have impacted not just our family, but all our extended family as well. My daughters are the only granddaughters on my side of the family, and so they have an extra special place in the hearts of our extended family for that reason as well ;) Our son (age 11) often bemoans the fact that his sisters are growing up as he wants them to stay small... and wonders how he will protect them from boys when they grow older. He is so protective of them! I am thankful I read this today - when I send a package to our daughters' bio moms for Christmas, I will be sure to let our son also write about what it means to him to have his sisters <3

Dear Kelsey: Thanks for writing this ... It can be...

2012-11-16T10:16:18.371-08:00

Dear Kelsey: Thanks for writing this ... It can be scary to post about adoption in some circles, there are so many hurting people who have not come to terms with their trauma and grief. Thanks for sharing your story. Very brave!

My husband and I foster-adopted two children. So many times I have wondered how their struggles might have been lessened if their first parents had your courage, and made an adoption plan right away. I give them credit for not aborting their children ... and yet, parenting is not for everyone. Adoption is a far better option for these people.

Thanks again! Heidi Saxton

I, too, can relate. I'm very grateful for ALL...

2012-10-20T07:12:43.275-07:00

I, too, can relate. I'm very grateful for ALL that I have learned about adoption, but I was getting my life sucked out of me because I was so focused on it. I want to be a positive person, and sometimes the negativity just grows and festers.

I understand so much where you are coming from, Ke...

2012-10-10T10:30:00.759-07:00

I understand so much where you are coming from, Kelsey! Initially I started reading everything I could get my hands on about adoption... books, blogs, magazines, etc. I desperately wanted to make sure I was a concious, supportive adoptive parent. I wanted to be able to anticipate what feelings of loss my son would feel so I could be prepared to be there for him and help him through. But I too found that in many ways it was making me so sad and overwhelmed about adoption. I felt I was the worst person ever and had doomed my son to a life of hell for adopting him. I also spent so much time immersed in the stories of others that I let them drown out my son's story, his feelings and his cues even though as his mother his feelings are the most important to me.
I too had to step back from so much adoption info so I could see the trees over the forest.
Great post! I will check out some of the books you have been reading, too :)
~Jill