7.21.2014
Resurrecting the Champ
After a nearly 2 year hiatus, Mama is back in business.
Gird your loins. We about to run this!!!
A ton has happened since I took a break from blogging--more than I care to write about and more than you care to read, I'm sure. So, let's not dwell on the past. Besides, if you're reading this, you're either related to me or a friend and I'm sure you've already been stalking me on Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, trying to stay up-to-date on what's been going on with the Schoeny tribe. (You know, cuz the world revolves around me and who wouldn't be interested in this?! What?? You're surprised by my narcissism? Hmm, we must not be family or friends after all.)
But in case you've been living under a rock, here are the most important things that happened to Los Schoenys since we last spoke...
Ryan is CEO of Goldman Sachs and a competitive body builder. He splits his time between our penthouse in SLC and condo in Zurich.
Claire earned her trophy wife status after combing out her dreads and going back to pretty hair. She is currently a professional volleyball player, both beach and indoor, and is favored to win this year's St. George marathon.
Lalea is a child prodigy. When she's not conducting chemistry experiments and balancing equations, she's reading her way through the entire Norton Anthology of American Literature. She's also an aspiring photographer and independent film maker.
Anuhea joined the team earlier this year. At only 5 months, she's already showing signs of extraordinary musical talent with a proclivity to vocal performance. And since there's a strong correlation between musical aptitude and literacy, it's only a matter of time before Anu asks to borrow Lalea's copy of The Grapes of Wrath.
Like I said, this is probably old news to you all. I'm sure you've kept up with us via Forbes magazine and TMZ.
But I'm so glad to welcome you all back to my blog. I'm excited to start writing again and of course, I never pass up a chance or opportunity to talk about myself.
You're welcome.
10.28.2012
Gold and Crimson
So that poem was written by 7th grade me. And while I can't attest to the poetic genius of my 12 year old self, I can vouch for my undying love for fall.
The second September hits, I'm pulling out my scarves and boots and heading to Barnes & Noble in search of a book and cozy chair.
I can't wait for more stormy days so I can wrap myself in a blanket, grab a mug of steeping tea, and wait for rain. I welcome it!
Thanksgiving will be here in just a few short weeks. Turkey, pie, and BINGO to ensue.
Christmas rushes in too quickly, taking over the golden laziness of autumn.
I beg, WAIT!
Just a few more moments--please!
10.03.2012
National Bullying Prevention Month
If you've never read or seen The Help, there is a tender scene between the house maid, Aibileen, and the child she cares for, Mae Mobley. Mae Mobley's mother is neglectful, inattentive, and uncaring. Seeing how badly Mae Mobley needs the love and attention of her mother, Aibileen makes it a point to fill the void and positively affirm Mae Mobley's self-worth.
Rocking Mae Mobley in her nursery, Aibilene says,
"You is a smart girl. You a kind girl, Mae Mobley. You hear me? You is kind, you is smart, you is important!"And as soon as Mae Mobley is able to talk, Aibilene instructs her to repeat the self-affirmation,
"You is kind, you is smart, you is important!"Taking a cue from Aibilene and Mae Mobley, I have made it a point to tell Lolli every day how much I love her, how wonderful she is, and how perfect she will always be. We've even adopted an affirmation of our own,
I am beautiful, smart, and special!
Every time Lolli draws a picture, makes up a dance, or sings a song, Ryan and I shower her with compliments and tell her how amazing she is. We go overboard with love and praise. The way I see it, if she's not getting it at home, where else is she going to find the love and appreciation she not only deserves but needs??
There are mean, mean people in this world.
Being a curvier and bigger girl all my life, I've found myself on the receiving end of some very hurtful comments, remarks, and jabs from very close-minded, judgmental, and misinformed people. Luckily, I have a family who loves me and, more importantly, continues to express their love for me each day. I've grown to know my self-worth. I've gained the confidence to assert that regardless of what the world thinks or says about me,
I am beautiful! I am smart! I am special!!
Still, there are those who try to break us down, take that knowledge away from us. Recently, CBS WKBT news anchor Jennifer Livingston was attacked by one of these insensitive individuals. Here is a video of the hurtful email Jennifer received and her response:
"Do not let your self-worth be defined by bullies...The cruel words of one are nothing compared to the shouts of many."
You are beautiful! You are smart! You are special!!
12.31.2010
Auld Lang Syne
Favorite Moments
Becoming a marathoner
Meeting Bart Yasso
Running the RRR with my Ryan
Attending the UFC Fan Expo
Stalking Kody Brown
House boating on Lake Powell
Becoming a SAHM
Not-So-Hot Moments
Potty training
Ryan getting the shaft from Sunroc
Moving out of the Camelot community
Deciding to be the RRR captain
The earthquake in Haiti
Wikileaks
Disappointments
BP
Girl With the Dragon Tattoo
Kim Kardashian's DWTS debut
Jesse James
California voting no on Prop 19
Favorite Songs
Airplanes - B.O.B feat. Hayley Williams and Eminem
F!*# You - Cee Lo Green
My Chick Bad - Ludacris feat. Nicki Minaj
Tight Rope - Janelle Monae feat. Big Boi
Best Movies - I didn't really go to very many movies this year. I'm not too keen on paying $74 for a ticket at the theaters. Plus, my life is now consumed with all things toddler so it's no surprise my favorite movies this year are kids/family movies. My life is so glamorous.
Inception
Hot Tub Time Machine (That crap is funny. Don't judge me.)
Toy Story 3
Despicable Me
Best Reads - I always have to clarify that these book picks aren't books that were necessarily published in 2010. Rather, they're simply books that I read this year.My Life on the Run - Bart Yasso
Heft on Wheels - Mike Magnuson
Escape - Carolyn Jessop
In the Forest - Edna O'Brien
The Rookie - Scott Sigler
Enjoy your final hours of 2010. I must admit, it was a good year. Let's see what 2011 has to offer.
10.28.2010
Best Seller??
makes me wanna pluck my eyes out and give myself paper cuts with the pages of the book. And when that happens, I usually take a break from reading for another 3 months until I find another well reviewed book and try it again.For the last little while, I've been in the obsession cycle. I've read so many books in the last few weeks that my friends on Twitter are getting sick of my reading updates. (No joke. A friend got mad cuz he kept seeing my Tweets pop up every time I updated my progress on GoodReads. I think he's just jealous cuz he can't read!! j/k)
I finally got hold of a copy of Stieg Larsson's The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo. I had heard lots of good things about this book, and it had been at the top of the best-sellers list for a long time. I was excited to see what all the fuss was about.
I cracked open the spine and sank in, waiting to be impressed. I kept waiting, and kept waiting, and kept waiting. At about 150 pages into the book, still nothing had happened. I was about to throw in the towel. Who the hell cares how much coffee the freakin' Swedish people drink or where the hell the main character goes on a walk each morning?!? There's absolutely no plot and zero character development.
Finally, FINALLY, when I just couldn't take it anymore, I get some action. Mind you, I'm already 3/4 of the way through the book at this point and only now the plot starts to unravel? The writing and dialog is still horrible, mind you, but at least we've got some kind of story line.
At this point, I'm just eager to finish the damn thing so I can move on to something more interesting. Doubt I'll be reading the subsequent books of the series. Stieg Larsson did not impress. And all you out there who wrote positive reviews and told me the book was good...you're all liars!
There is absolutely NOTHING positive about this book, especially subject matter. You enjoy page after stifling page of financial jargon and economic debates? Well then this book is for you. Are you intrigued by sadists, rapists, and serial killers? You've come to the right place!
How depressing. Think I need a Zoloft to finish this thing. I'm in too deep now to just put it down and walk away. Plus, I've kinda got this OCD thing about finishing books all the way through. If I start a book, I absolutely HAVE to finish it. For some reason, I can't walk away. It's like it'll haunt me forever if I don't finish it.
~sigh~ Just another cross I bear.
10.17.2010
Ramblings

1) Twice this weekend I attempted to run 18 miles. Twice this weekend I have failed. Made it 13.5 today. Not even close! Next weekend I'll try again. But I have to wonder, why do I even bother? I mean, really. Why run marathons? I hate running! It's hard. It's sweaty. It sucks! In all honesty, the only real reason why I won't let myself stop is for bragging rights. I'm pretty vain.
2) I'm so glad my friend Shauna is in town. As much as she hates being in Utah and misses L.A., I'm secretly ecstatic that her week-long trip here has extended into a 3-week trip. I love hanging out with Shauna. She makes me feel normal again. Plus, she sings Broadway duets with me. Best friend ever, right?
PS
You should really check out Shauna's blog. She gets it.
3) Sister Wives is the most disgusting, most revolting, and most barfiest show of all time. I can't stop watching it.4) My birthday is this week. Only 4 more days. (I know you've been counting down.) I can't wait! I love love LOVE presents 'cause not only am I vain, but I'm also superficial.
5) I've been in a crazy reading mode lately. I want to read anything I can get my hands on. I generally have at least 2 books going at a time plus I'm listening to an audiobook on my iPod while I run. I finally cracked open The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo to see what all the fuss was about. So far, I'm not impressed. Rather, I'm bored as hell. Nothing gets me to sleep faster than lame financial talk. Boring. When is this gonna start getting good?
6) Just like my birthday, I can not wait for Christmas. I know it's not even Thanksgiving yet and it's like illegal or something to get into the Christmas spirit before Thanksgiving, but I've already started shopping for gifts. As much as I like receiving gifts, I like giving them, too. And of course, I go overboard buying for Lalea. But I think I'm actually just about done buying her gifts and so far I think I've only spent like $25 on her. Not bad! Ryan will be another story. For one, I don't have my own money this year to buy his gift so I'll just be using his credit card to buy his own presents. Not really a present then, is it?
7) I signed up with some friends to play volleyball in Spanish Fork. SF is know to be pretty competitive city league. We've signed up for the A division. We're all awesome volleyball players and we won stake regionals last year, but I really dont' see us winning too many games in the SF league. I'm telling you, this league is legit, especially the A division. We're talking collegiate level play. I'm so excited, though. But I guess this means I'll actually have to start trying in games instead of half-assing it like a usually do. Damn. I like being lazy.
3.19.2010
Shameless Self-Advertisement
Tomorrow, some teammates and I will be hosting a used book sale at the Provo City Library from 2pm-5pm. We're offering hardcover books for $2, paperbacks for $1, and even some DVDs for $2. There are some pretty great titles for sale. If you want to expand your library, you MUST come to our book sale!

Not a big fan of reading? Well how about eating??? In tandem with our book sale, we're doing a little bake sale, too. I've already got some yummy treats baked and waiting to be iced! Ever had candy sushi?? They're so cute! Come by and try some! Pink lemonade cupcakes. Chocolate covered Rice Krispy treats. Cookies, cookies, and more cookies!
Come visit our book/bake sale tomorrow afternoon and spoil yourself with some great new reads and some delicious desserts while supporting a great cause.
All proceeds go to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (LLS) for blood-cancer research, education, and patient support in Utah.
Don't live in the area but still wanna help out? Not a problem! Visit my fundraising webpage located here and make a direct, online donation to the LLS.
Thanks in advance for all your support. And remember, every donation, no matter how small, has life-saving potential!
See ya tomorrow!
12.31.2009
2009 Faves
Favorite Moments
Lolli's 1st year luau
Baja Cruise
Ry's graduation from UVU and being accepted into Westminster's MBA program
The birth of new nieces and nephews

Lake Powell and the creation of the LPK
Weekend trips to the farmer's market
Beach hopping in San Diego
Signing up for a marathon
Almost getting shot up at the Olive Garden
Lolli's RSV hospitalization
Getting kicked out of the 9th East house and being temporarily
homeless
Summer trip back to Sacramento
Family drama
Swine flu
Breaking up with Joaquin
Disappointments
Buying the BMW
Senate health care bill
Chicago Olympics fail
Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol
Being slighted by Goldman Sachs
New Moon and Where the Wild Things Are
Losing the King of Pop
Greatest Songs - According to the Billboard charts
Use Somebody - Kings of Leon
Thinking of You -Katy Perry
Please Don't Leave Me - Pink (Though, the music video was disturbingly psychotic and creeptastic. No me gusta!)
Fireflies - Owl City
Bad Romance - Lady Gaga (This music video was just as psychotic as Pink's but some how, Gaga's level of crazy is more sophisticated and palletable. I loved it! But really, who wouldn't love Gaga in Alexander McQueen?!? Epic!)
Most Awesome Movies - There's actually quite a few movies that came out recently that I haven't seen yet; but if I had, they'd probably have made the list. As for the movies I have seen, these are the few that I actually enjoyed. Also, some movies listed were released prior to this year, however, I didn't actually see the movies until 2009. So, I figured I'd include those, as well. 
The Blindside
Goodfellas
Zombieland
The Hangover
The Soloist
The Boondock Saints
Best Reads
Got Fight - Forrest Griffin
Mafia Dynasty: The Rise and Fall of the Gambino Crime Family - John H. Davis
Moloka'i - Alan Brennert
Skinny Bitch - Rory Freedman
Homeless Bird - Gloria Whelan
Now 2009, I bid you eff'ing adieu!!!!!
10.27.2009
Barnes 'n' Nizzoble
Looking through my subscriptions, I found this little gem from Amy.
Just yesterday I ordered about 4 new books from Barnes and Noble so I thought this post would be perfect.
1. Do you snack while you read? If so, favorite reading snack? Usually, I don't snack. I like to read while lying down, which isn't very conducive for snacking. Plus, I hate getting the pages of my books all greasy and dirty. Yet, sometimes I'll supplement my reading with hot chocolate on drizzly days, but that's about the extent of my snacking.
2. Do you tend to mark your books as you read, or does the idea of writing in books horrify you? During college, I'd mark my textbooks and course readings all the time. When I read for enjoyment, I rarely mark in the pages unless I come across a really poignant quote.
3. How do you keep your place while reading a book? Bookmark? Dog-ears? Laying the book flat open? I hate to dog-ear my books. I feel like it ruins the pages. I usually just use
old receipts or index cards lying around the house to keep my place in books. Though, I did just get some cool little magnetic bookmarks for my birthday that I've been using. Hopefully I won't lose them. I've been known to misplace bookmarks, thus, the reason for using index cards and other scraps.
4. Fiction, Non-fiction, or both? I generally read historical-fiction but lately I've been reading a lot of non-fiction crime and history novels. I enjoy them both.
5. Hard copy or audio books? ALWAYS hard copy. First of all, I can never pay attention to audio books. Second, I one day hope to have a library in my home, so I need to collect as many books as possible for the shelves. Third, holding a hefty hardback in your hand, feeling the weight and thickness of it, is somehow satisfying and familiar.
6. Are you a person who tends to read to the end of chapters, or are you able to put a book down at any point? Usually I like to read to the end of chapters. Though, I often fall asleep while reading so I end where I end!
7. If you come across an unfamiliar word, do you stop to look it up right away? I don't think I've ever stopped and looked up an unfamiliar word. I've usually been able to figure out the meaning from the context.
8. What are you currently reading? I'm reading a non-fiction work by John H. Davis called Mafia Dynasty: The Rise and Fall of the Gambino Crime Family. I'm only about 100 pages in, but I'm already addicted. I love love LOVE learning and reading about the Mafia. Next on my list to read is Mario Puzo's The Godfather. I've seen the movie a bazillion times but never read the saga. I'm excited!
9. What is the last book you bought? Well, I'm waiting on the books I ordered from B&N. I bought Mario Puzo's series, a couple chicklit books and another Jodi Picoult, The Pact.
10. Are you the type of person that only reads one book at a time or can you read more than one at a time? I generally read one book at a time because I get so enthralled by that book and can't put it down. But, when I begin reading something that I totally detest, I usually start up another book to try rid the bad taste left in my mouth from the other.
11. Do you have a favorite time of day and/or place to read? I love reading in bed, under the covers before I go to sleep. Or, I like reading on top of a freshly made bed on rainy days with the lights out and the blinds open. The dreariness and gloom add to the ambiance of cozy reading.
12. Do you prefer series books or stand alone books? Series are fun to read because you have something to look forward to when you're done reading the first book. But, stand alone books are great to read, too, because they can be quick and compelling.
13. Is there a specific book or author that you find yourself recommending over and over? I've read a lot of Phillipa Gregory and Jodi Picoult books. I wouldn't necessarily say they were my favorites. They just tend to be the books I gravitate toward because since I'm familiar with them, I know they'll offer suspense and intensity at some point during the course of the story.
14. How do you organize your books? (By genre, title, author’s last name, etc.?)
Right now, my books are sadly thrown into our china cabinet, threatening to break the glass shelves! Like I said, I do have plans to start a library, but right now we don't really have the space or money for legitamate bookcases. In the near future, I hope to purchase and start peicing together the Ikea Billy bookcase system. When that happens, I'll probably organize them by genre, alphabetically by author's last name. Wow, that seems like adaunting task. I already have so many books!
1.30.2009
Rabbit At Rest
Prophet of suburban adultery is dead. Three days ago, John Updike jumped upon the cancer train and passed away whilst clutching a few Pulitzers to his chest. Though considered one of the great male narcissists in literary history, Updike's legacy will be hard to surpass. Updike has seemingly published a novel a year for the past 50 years, and has been included in every week's edition of The New Yorker. But by far, his greatest accomplishment came in November of last year when the editors of the UK's Literary Review awarded Updike with their Bad Sex in Fiction lifetime achievement award. This award "celebrates crude, tasteless or ridiculous sexual passages in modern literature." Seriously, who wants a Faulkner award or Caldecott medal when there's a phallus to be won?!
1.13.2009
2008 Favorites
Favorite moments of 2008- The birth of Lālea
- Graduating
- Spending the day at Glorietta Beach in Coronado
- Eating dim sum in Vegas
- The Deer Valley weekend
- Watching Sopranos while eating bread and butter
- Dancing hula for a ward activity
- Watching Ryan play rugby
Not-So-Hot Moments of 2008

- Quitting school and work to go on bed rest
- Weekly visits to triage
- Moku, poo blasting his cage and getting it all over the carpet
- The boys' attempts at building hydrogen fuel cells
- Trading in the 916 area code for the 801
- Thinking we might have to move in to my mom's
- Trying to get a hip hop routine together for a ward activity
- The Comp4x4 shopping cart breaking down
- Family DRAMA
- Sarah Palin


- Twilight movie
- Mitt Romney dropping out of the race
- Scarlett Johansson's album, Anywhere I Lay my Head
- Releasing Britney Spears from treatment
- Emergency bailouts
- The ignorance of Prop 8 supporters
Greatest Movies from 2008- Dark Knight
- Be Kind, Rewind
- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
- Sweeny Todd
- The Fall
Best Songs of 2008

- No Air - Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown
- Kiss Kiss - Chris Brown
- Paper Planes - MIA
- New Soul - Yael Naim
- Disturbia - Rhianna
- Sensual Seduction - Snoop Dogg
Best Reads of 2008
(not necessarily books that were published in 2008, but those that I
happened to read in 2008)- The Last of the Menu Girls - Denise Chavez
- Pillar's of the Earth - Ken Follett
- Night - Elie Wiesel
- Caramelo - Sandra Cisneros
- Breaking Dawn - Stephanie Meyers
- Index to English, Eighth Edition - Ebbitt & Ebbitt
There you have it. In my opinion, some of the greatest and not so great moments of 2008. What were some of your bests and worsts???



