Ojibwe Confessions: Indigenous View Point

Wonder What They Are Thinking

2026-08-07T17:48:44.262-05:00

I live in the City of Winnipeg, Manitoba and I drive to the Sagkeeng Anishinaabe Reserve daily. It's not too far, one and half hour drive from city to Rez. When I get into the Reserve border, I drive by Catfish Creek and many a morning there is this Eagle on a tree all by His lonesome. I guess it is a male as it is on the smaller side of the Eagle size, and Women Eagles are huge. Females have the size and dominance, so I hear. Anyways, the Eagle is by his-self in the mornings, sitting in a tree, looking away from the Lake Winnipeg and towards the highway. I wonder what this Eagle is thinking as it sits by his lonesome, looking around? He is just looking out for food? Or is he wondering, why can't I have a Woman (or partner)? Why do I have to be alone? What is the sake of siting here and not being able to share a little meal with someone?

Society (arseholes) used to think, and some still do, that animals did not have consciousness. Better human beings know this has had to be pure bull-shit. It gives arseholes the "clean-slate" to treat animals with no regard. Thereby giving them the clear conscience to be cruel to them - dog fighting, animal testing, locking them up in cages and every other monstrous act they feel free to do. I was just watching a Spanish Bull Fight and saw the Bull being killed with a sword by the Matador. I felt bad for a brief moment and then the feeling and thought went away. It is just like anything else where it's "out of site, out of mind." I wonder what the Bull was thinking, was feeling? Maybe it's a mindless beast?

You know there are Indigenous folks out there who know, they really know, that the Whole (everything) is related. So how can we think of our relatives as dimwitted creatures? People like to say "oh, they live on instinct." As if that is an excuse to not think of them as Thinking Beings. The pure arrogance of human beings. If there were not Human Beings where would the world be? I really love the analogy that we are the invasive species. Just like those Zebra Mussels. Mucking up everything they come in contact with.

We are in the world of round, of the circle. People like to demonstrate with the Circle; like a Medicine Wheel model, drawing to show connectiveness. For me, the whole Medicine Wheel thing is a Teaching Tool. It reminds us that everything is connected: seasons, directions, elements, ages, and beings. That is all there is to it. Of course there are much more Teachings to the different Circles but in the end, we are all Relatives. So stop taking down to your relatives, like they are (R-word) and beneath you. Afterall you don't know what they are thinking.

Cut Those Tipi Poles

2026-07-25T21:29:01.079-05:00

There is a Powwow (Treaty One area) in Winnipeg and for some strange bizarre reason some individual or individuals, decided to take a chainsaw and cut up the Tipi poles. Is it just me that finds this really weird.

"The 5th annual Anishinaabe Days powwow kicked off Saturday in Winnipeg bringing together dancers from across the province and beyond.The celebration at at Naawi-Oodena was clouded by an act of vandalism, as the tipi poles were cut the day before the event. “It’s unfortunate that we had an incident like that here,” said Chief Gordon Bluesky of the Brokenhead Ojibway Nation. “I don’t believe reflects all of Winnipeg and I definitely don’t believe it reflects residents of this area,” said Bluesky."

This is a weird story and it reminded me of the The Golden Spruce tree that was killed by this crazy guy. The Tree was not easy to get to. This guy had to swim across the water to get to the island where the Tree was standing. He really wanted to kill this tree. With the Tipi poles it is not as dramatic or as significant. The Golden Spruce was held in reverence by the Neechies (the Haida First Nation). The tipi poles were quickly replaced. The thing is this, someone or more than a someone, had to really think about what they were doing. Had to get a chainsaw, drive over to the area, pick a time where no one would be around. The area is is a high traffic area, and in an area of the City that is a little affluent (or adjacent to rich folks areas). Not that it should matter but you know how it goes. The person or persons were deliberate in what they wanted to do. I wonder what they end goal was, and what they accomplished? Was it an act of racism? Where someone(s) with so much hate, they took the time to carry out and act of vandalism with forethought to hurt someone's feelings? Was it an act by Indians themselves? You know, those Neechies who don't like Traditional ways, i.e. Christian Indian folk. Maybe they went there to make a statement, but who knows. There is this one Reserve who is rumored to outlaw Traditional practices in their community. I think this is so sad. Perhaps it was a grudge attack. Maybe someone or someones, don't like Treaty One or a person or group linked with Treaty one?

We don't know what motivated the act. It is a small act in the big world. Really an annoyance with little significance. Tipi poles can be replaced, harvested in the bush. If you were to order a set of Tipi poles you would be looking at no less than six hundred bucks and higher to purchase. It wasn't a harmless prank. It was disheartening. It shows contempt for Our Ways, Our People, Our History, Our Community. So it is not a nothing thing. It is like someone decided to come take a shit on your doorstep. set it on fire, knocked and ran away as you come to see who it is. It was an act of disrespect, an ugly disgusting act of knowing this is messed up. Anyways I say fuck them and anyone else who smells like them.

The Powwow is a celebration, and it is a get together of everyone. The thing about majority of Powwows, is that they are a public good. Meaning they are not a money making venture. They provide a public function, a public service for the public. The nastiness of the chainsaw action on innocent Tipi poles is like shitting on their own kitchen floor. It makes no sense.

We Didn't Know, Some of Us Know

2026-07-08T21:42:16.121-05:00

At one of the community Powwow Gatherings there were some comments made to the organizers/sponsors regarding a Flag Bearer. The person drilled the organizers about who the Flag Carrier was. At a Powwow entry there are Flag Bearer/Carrier is front and center of the Powwow Dancers. The Flag Bearer either holds the Community Eagle Staff, National Flags, Community Flags at the beginning of the event. They dance with Staffs, Flags while Honour songs go on. This is a significant part of the Powwow. They are chosen to represent the event, the community, the People. So, it is an Honour to be part of this procession. Turns out this particular Flag Bearer was a predator of Women. "We didn't know."

Do we know or do we not know, can be the difference between an active participant or a clueless schmoo. In the case of the Honourable Flag Bearer some one must have known. But who knows. There is this guy in the community who is literally a daily voice in the community and We Know. The fella was in the news for sexual assaulting an young woman, barely 18 at the time and he was in his 40's. He wasn't convicted as he said he "kept asking her." She was juiced, drunk, intoxicated, and he had his way with her on the bathroom floor (cause he is a classy guy or as he says a "Traditional man"). She was a petite thing and he is an imposing older guy. So, yeah she "consented" (Heavy on the sarcasm here). The young girl had Aunties who interrupted the "encounter." They beat him on the head with bottles. The courts didn't convict him, so it's all good, he dances at powwow and blows his whistle at the drums. I guess there are people who don't know, but some of us know.

A number of us organized yearly Gatherings for people who had suffered a suicide loss, a death by suicide. We put out pamphlets and internet postings advertising the Gatherings. We included the people who were going to participating at the Gatherings, various guests, and speakers. There was one fella on the information pamphlets, a good guy by all indications. An Elder, this Woman came on told me about the risk of using his image, name on the pamphlet. Guess the guy had history of sexual abuse. We didn't know, but someone knew. We are shocked when we now know, aren't we?

There is this guy, he was a Chief for many many years. He was widely known for his fierce nature and his deadly stance against colonial injustices and the instruments of colonialism. He was merciless when he went to deal with government officials. I remember him at a meeting speaking to a high ranking executive big wig of the Federal Government; "I used to play hockey too, and with the stickhandling your are doing, I would smash you against the boards." I thought that was a real cute way to threaten and intimidate a bureaucrat. This fellow was exposed on television for having his mother's arm broken. People didn't know or some knew. I remember he dated a relative from our Reserve, put her in the hospital, yeah he was fierce all right. Get this, he has been chosen as the leader for his Band again. Guess they don't know or some of them know, but it's copacetic for those who know.

In the wider society, actors, musicians, political whores are known. They are not known usually for their sick depraved behaviours, and beliefs. We listen to the tunes, watch their movies, vote for them because we don't know, some of us know. The biggest, everyone knows, is of course the racist raping deranged wrinkled whore and no it's not Rosanne Barr, it's the other one.

Genocide happening in Palestine, We Didn't Know. Kids being targeted deliberately by snipers (IDF). We Didn't Know. It was live on television, the slaughter. We Didn't Know.

Tom Paxton - We Didn't Know

“We didn't know,” said the Burgomeister
“About the camps on the edge of town
It was Hitler and his crew
That tore the German nation down
We saw the cattle cars it's true
And maybe they carried a Jew or two
They woke us up as they rattled through
But what did you expect me to do”
“We didn't know at all
We didn't see a thing
You can't hold us to blame
What could we do
It was a terrible shame
But we can't bear the blame
Oh no, not us, we didn't know”
“We didn't know,” said the congregation
Singing a hymn in their church of white
“The press was full of lies about us
Preacher told us we were right
The outside agitators came
They burned some churches and put the blame
On decent southern people's name
To set our coloured people aflame
And maybe some of our boys got hot
And a couple of niggers and reds got shot
They should have stayed where they belong
And preacher would've told us if we'd done wrong”
We didn't know at all
We didn't see a thing
You can't hold us to blame
What could we do
It was a terrible shame
But we can't bear the blame
Oh no, not us, we didn't know
“We didn't know,” said the puzzled voter
Watching the President on TV
“I guess we've got to drop those bombs
If we're gonna keep South Asia free
The President's such a peaceful man
I guess he's got some kind of plan
They say we're torturing prisoners of war
But I don't believe that stuff no more
Torturing prisoners is a communist game
And you can bet they're doing the same
I wish this war was over and through
But what do you expect me to do”
We didn't know at all
We didn't see a thing
You can't hold us to blame
What could we do
It was a terrible shame
But we can't bear the blame
Oh no, not us, we didn't know

It's Not My (fuckin') Concern

2026-06-27T18:00:22.495-05:00

A cousin of mine has lost two of his feet. He lost one foot, than he lost a finger, than another foot. Yeah, he has the diabetes. The guy was never obese and had been always active. Sure he is older now, about 67 or so. I keep meeting guys in my reserve who are losing parts to their bodies and it's from the diabetes. I asked a few of them, "what the hell happened?" This one guy is about five or six years younger than me. He has a tip of his finger gone. He said, "It just fell off. There was a little black dot and next thing you know my finger tip just rotted off." Another guy has some of his toes gone and he said the same thing, little black dot and then the doctor says "got to go," and then snip they took them. It never was any business of mine when people started to lose feet legs from amputation. Now it is my fuckin' concern because I got the diabetes. I was recently put on insulin for my sugar numbers being high as the heavens. So that was kind of a shitty moment in my life. Don't get me wrong, I have had my good share of shitty moments in my life; you know suicide of my son and high number of deaths in the Reserve. The news of insulin made me quite mournful. Mournful of youth, mournful of mistakes in my life made by me. You see, I never don't think of stuff being on me. I was always at the edge of the pool when it came to wild waves of things. My cousin shoots his wife, I was 15 and he was my older cousin, but wasn't me. A friend of mine hanged himself, I was 15 but it was his family and not me. A car accident killing 5 in front of our house, I was about 8 or 9 but remember it well (our house was on Deadman's curve). The Aunties' house burning down across the highway from us. I was about 14 or 15. Nothing left but the concrete footing of the house. I remember the power lines sparking around and just whipping around on the ground. My cousins without a home, but it wasn't me.

It's by the edge of the pool but we're not diving in, falling in, or even putting or feet in. It's tragic but not really our fuckin' concern. We have a roof, a bed, a home. You know the world is in a bad way right now. The Earth will always be the Earth, but the world with human beings is in a bad way. But it's not our fuckin' concern.

Suicide has not really been a concern of mine. Sure I did my first suicide attempt at 17 (gun misfire or no Steve, no kids, not blog). My fixation with suicide, didn't come to much later in life. Again, it was around us and we were not in the pool. My nephew Jay took his own life, long before his cousin, my son took his life. Still at the time of my nephew it was not me. It was me but I still was just at the edge of the pool. My nieces and the cousins around his age were more in the pool than the edge. It is weird that even things right close to us are still not our fuckin' concern. It's not us, not me.

I just saw on social media a doctor's post about Loss of Ejaculation when diabetes is long in your life. I was thinking, "I don't know how to feel about that?" I mean, am I going to dip in the pool over this, or just keep sitting at the edge of the pool? And, and to make matters worse, look at this: "Erectile dysfunction (ED) affects approximately 34% to 45% of men with diabetes and has been demonstrated to negatively impact quality of life..." No damn shit, your quality of life is negatively impacted. God damn, talk about jumping headfirst (get it) deep into the fucking pool. Not just dangling your feet in the water by the edge. Is it in in our fucking concern? Since I am now considered a full-blown type 2 diabetic, should it be my fuckin' concern? The loss of ejaculation is weird though, don't you think? I mean. if Larry Flint has thought us anything, it was the quintessential representation of ejaculation was the shot on someone's face or breasts. With limited ejaculation you are nothing it would seem. Not that I care about following the masses with ejaculation adventures.

I wonder what else we believe where it's not my fucking concern? Earth quakes happening in Venezuela. Genocide in Palestine where IDF (world's most moral army) are deliberately targeting kids. On the good side, "more than 100 Catholic bishops, nuns, priests and parishioners joined a procession across the U.S.-Mexico border, urging the U.S. government to treat migrants with dignity and respect." I am not sure if this makes my concern, but what does these days? I am happy to hear about animal bridges being built. Like last year, Colorado made the biggest animal bridge across a super busy highway. And get this, deforestation in the Amazon (no not the rotten Jeff Bezos empire) has dropped by 24 percent. You can thank the Indigenous people for the drop in deforestation. Also the world increased use of alternative energy. It is in my fucking concern, because the forests around the world clean the air for all of us. I love the bush, we all should make it our fucking concern.

My Reserve Chief and Councilors seem happy in their roles but that is not my fucking concern.

Diving in the deep end and not hanging out in the shallow pool.

I would pay a 100 bucks to see that

2026-05-17T21:02:15.197-05:00

I remember the episode of The Sopranos where Vito is beat to death and a shaft is shoved up his butt. The Lisbeth Salander avenging her rape with shoving a sliver dildo up the butt of her tormentor/rapist. Those fictional shows were memorable. I would pay for a memorable episode right now for some certain villains of society.

I would pay a 100 dollars to see the Orange dude (Mr. pedophile Trump) have a similar experience of anal exploration by Lisbeth Salander or by the old Hillary Clinton lady. Now that would be something the public would love to see.

I would pay a 100 dollars to see the Orange dude (Mr. wants to sodomize his daughter Trump) slide down one of the big twirling water slides, the ones that you exit at a 100 miles an hour and have the same experience on the Schlitterbahn Water Park in Kansas. You know, the infamous decapitating slide.

I would pay 100 dollars to see Danielle Smith sit in one of James Arthur Ray's Warrior Sweat Lodge. I wonder if she would fare better than James Shore or Kirby Brown.

I would pay 10 dollars to see Doug Ford get intimate with the Animal Farm's Napoleon (the Pig in the book Animal Farm). Not that I would enjoy it, but I would be paying to see the expression of his face.

I would pay 100 dollars to see Pierre Poilievre do journalistic reporting in Gaza.

I would pay 10 dollars to see Mark Carney drink water right out of the Athabasca River everyday, for at least a month. Where the Athabasca River runs through the Tars Sands area. Carney and the Country of Canada see no issue with the environmental concerns raised by the Neechies living there.

I would pay 100 dollars to see Benjamin Netanyahu smothered, lathered in maple syrup and do the Game of Thrones walk of shame through the rubble of Gaza. With the added nuance of children saying "shame, shame, shame," and then the Yellow Jacket Wasps are released around his walk path. I would for sure pay 100 bucks to see that.

I would pay 100 bucks to see FBI guru Kash Patel, go snorkeling off the coast of California, all the while he is pulling Chum in a cotton sack, tied to his swimming fins. All the while there are camera crews following his day long adventure in the Ocean. I paid to see that.

I would pay 10 bucks to see Kristi Noem be in the middle of the running of the bulls in Pamplona, Spain. She would do well with the Bulls as she is comfortable with Bull shit.

I would pay 100 bucks to see Trump, and his team of retards (the label is only for them) swim in the Porkchop Geyser. Where the water is a nice temperature in excess of 200 degrees Fahrenheit. It would be an adventure for them that is for sure.

Entertainment may come with a cost.

"Word's once Spoken, can't be taken Back."

2026-04-18T15:48:00.001-05:00

"Horace’s wise saying is straightforward: words, once spoken, can’t be taken back. Just as an arrow, once released, cannot be returned to the bow, comments, when uttered, have an irreversible trajectory. They can mend or break, uplift, or shatter. The core message? Think before you speak, and recognize the power your words hold." In today's world this quote has never been more truer.

I was visiting with this Anishinaabe Kwe (Ojibwe Woman) yesterday. She has a reputation for being a "hard" difficult person, Zanagizi, as they say. I openly tease her about being Zanagizi, and we laugh. I personally haven't been on the end of her "hardness" but have heard about it. She of course, doesn't understand why people think that of her. It's always about context isn't it? When someone is being difficult there must be a reason for it. We may not agree, or that person may even be wrong, but they have reasons for being difficult. Of course some individual are just arseholes and that's that, not saying my visitor is anything but an alright person. Anyways, we were speaking about the endless posts on social media of negativity. Not just negative views but just pure venom being splashed all over people's faces. Like in those pornography videos (that I have heard of) where a strapping young man with Jesse Ventura type body or maybe a potbellied middle age white man with the horseshoe hair line, and they "jizz" all over an agreeable face. This is what happens on social media, and many times it's people we know. Some of those people are self-aggrandizing wise ones, who are following the Teachings; Seven Teachings to be exact. As my visitor and me were exchanging wise words to each other, (actually it might be called gossiping) we concluded that those individuals from our Reserve, are not exactly being good role models. Not good examples, despite all their self-promotions and glorifying their deeds of philanthropy. Still there can be truth in any of our boasts.

Boy, I tell you, I have said many a bad thing about people now and then. Part of being a human being I guess. It takes work, practice to say mainly good things about people. But many are doing that, they do it in person and in the world of computer screens. I tend to like that a little bit, good remarks of someone sharing a bit of joy in their lives. A photograph of a grandbaby, a puppy, a boyfriend and a new job is worth a good word or response. I can never ever imagine someone saying to me, "man you have an ugly _______." Can those words be taken back? I guess if it is joking?

My visitor was saying "I wonder if they would be benefit from a Circle?" What she was talking about was having the people in this case, who were saying hurtful things to each on social media. Some pretty ugly things. Would having them share to each other, benefit both of them? Like something of a mediation? I don't know how it would be. As far as words go, they are out there, so how could the words be unsaid?

My visitor and me talked about apologies. I think we should apologies when we do something, say something, write something that has hurt someone. The thing is we have no business after the apology with how it is received by the hurt person. If the hurt party doesn't accept the apology, it is their right not to accept the apology. I don't know if you should try and try to apologize or let it be. I think you let it be, but work to not do that mistake again. Word's once spoken, can't be taken back.

Well, as my deceased friend used to say as he was leaving, "goodbye, never did like you anyway."

Now that's how you say, Giga-Waabamin.

Even Heroes Die

2026-04-01T21:14:00.005-05:00

My friend died the other day. He was sick and in a care home. He had just turned 66. There is no way to really to pay homage to him, he was full of life for sure. My first real memory of him was us on a swing set. It was the Fort Alexander Indian Residential School. We never called it that, it was the Boarding school; everyone in the Reserve called it that. He was moved to another Boarding School in Winnipeg. So we didn't see him all that often growing up, just once in a while. His life was filled with adventure, mishap and encounters with the law. We did run into each other walking on a street in Winnipeg. From there we had a life long relationship. Not just a relationship of being from the same Reserve but being oldest friends.

I was saying at this funeral service of how we live one life but really we lived many lives and he lived thousands of lives. The fun we had, the criminal acts we did, the dangerous situation we were in, and the bond we had. He was good to my wife. He was always Uncle to the kids. He was intelligent, good looking, compassionate, kind and troubled. He carried the Demons of the Boarding Schools, foster homes, juvenile corrections and jail. His demons followed him and tripped him up many times. He would be doing well, making high level connections and when it was going to well for him, he would sabotage himself.

When he died he took many of my secrets with him. He also took many lifetimes of stories. He was a great story teller. Making jail sound so much fun, one of the listeners said, "oh I wish I was there." The guy actually thought jail was a fun place to be, because of Earl's stories.

We were bonded but we were opposites. He was addicted and I only actively indulged with alcohol for about 3 or 4 years. He was cool, calm under pressure, while I was volatile and high strung. He was naturally smart while I had to work at it. He was multi-talented while I was one dimensional. We both carried demons. His demons manifested in addictions. My demons manifested in wickedness. We both tried to do right by people. Failed many times at it, but lived through the aftermath. I remember one time he had passed out from drinking; a fucking piece of shit bully took a fish knife and cut lines on his face. Like the Jack Nicholson joker. When my friend was healed I was so mad. I picked him up and took him driving around looking for the guy, I had a handgun was taking my friend to go and shoot this fucker. "Maano, maano" was my friend. I didn't find the guy at his home. We were friends with this creeps younger brother and Earl didn't want him to be hurt.

Like many heroes, he would need rest. When we were younger he would be able to stop abusing for periods of time, later in life, addiction did consume him. Still he held onto his Spirit. He was good. I told him many times how such a smart guy can do such stupid shit to himself. I was fortunate to have him as a friend. We had many disagreements, many falling outs, but we always found our friendship still intact. No matter how rough it became between us, we never stopped loving each other. I did love my friend. Its funny because growing up in our times, love was never said to anyone, except maybe your partner, the Woman in your life. No love said to your Mom, never to your Dad or your siblings.

I was telling my cousin how weird it feels. My friends are dying. Heroes do die.

Fuck me anyways

2026-03-21T21:44:00.002-05:00

There are lot of reasons to be swearing at yourself. One of them is for being an arse. The16th of March is 21 years that my Mom died from Cancer. Yeah, Cancer that ugly beast. Had she had been diagnosed who knows if she would have had a chance. She was having stomach problems for quite some time and the local Doctor told her to drink coffee or not drink coffee and to walk. It had become unbearable for her in the winter, my sister took her to emergency in the city, Winnipeg. She spent the night and the next day the news of cancer was given. One month later she is dead.

I saw on social media where this guy shows a lifeline using a long piece of paper. He holds up this thin piece of paper and says this paper represents 100 years of life: "the average life span for women is 81 and the average age for men is 75 years of age. So take of 25 years from the 100 and cut it out. Now you are 65 years of age, so take that 65 years from the first part of the paper. Threw it away, it is gone, you can never get that back. What do you have left? You have this small piece of paper which represents your life left." That video sure hit it on the bullseye. Just like I always say, "my life flashed right between my eyes," or something to that affect. I think about those god-damn 65 years now gone. Gone! No matter how much I want to have them back they are gone baby, gone.

Fuck me anyways. All those mistakes, those ill said words, those dastardly deeds and no way to fix them. If, and there is always if, we just have the time back. Oh, how we would do things differently. It's like finding a frog hopping in the middle of a street in January in Manitoba of all places. If's are not going to happen, just like a garter snake slithering around the top of the frozen Red River when it's minus 30 degrees Celsius. Those years are gone man, gone. The only thing left of those years are our memories. That's where I say to myself, Fuck me. I think of those times when I could have been kinder. When I should have been more generous with time for my Mom, for my Dad, for my brother Pancho, and for my Son, Don.

I drive to the Reserve everyday Monday to Friday from the city and that's when the haunting takes over from the night before. I will be driving along listening to tunes and it will hit me, Fuck me anyways.

Imagine that, the chances are I don't have ten years left. Am I going to spend the next ten years continuing to say Fuck me anyways? It's those fucking if's, we actually think we can have those if's. Nope, we only have those mistakes, those regrets, those fucking selfish moments. That is what keeps us saying Fuck me anyways.

As my grand-daughter use to say when she was three, Popsicle will make it better.

Come Over if Your Intentions are Good

2026-03-15T00:27:00.002-05:00

It was a Gathering, a gathering for Women to speak about things. The Women are Warriors, Women who have been active in all manner of causes. They speak up for the environment, the Land, the water, for the Missing Women, the Women killed, the lack of support from men. So they wanted a public forum to Stand in their Truth. That is what they did, they called for the public to come take part. The Women all spoke with their hearts and their experience. The Women included the men. The men came to listen and to share when they were asked. An man who was known as a good man, was asked to speak at the Gathering. The people asked, were asked right at the Gathering, they were not approached prior to the Gathering. It was an organic thing, where things traveled with no pushing or pulling a direction. The man stood in the middle of the group. He had his hands low but out to the front of him. One hand was open and he looked at it. He was quiet for a while. He then started to speak about Tobacco. You see Tobacco is Sacred for Indian people (I know we are not Indian people). Tobacco is one of the First Sacred Medicines given to our people. Tobacco is used respectfully and that includes gifting it or presenting it to someone which you are seeking advice, time, or their presence. When the man was asked to speak, no Tobacco was presented to him, thus the looking at his hand for Tobacco. I loved that. We make mistakes and how are we going to correct those mistakes if we don't know?

"Well, go ahead and call the cops, you don't meet nice girls in coffee shops. She said baby, I still love you. Sometimes there's nothin left to do."

This past we had a two day Ceremonial Gathering of Women and Men. It was a Ceremony for them to seek life as a Water Protector and an Ogichidaa. There was much preparation, cost and effort to make the Ceremony happen. Elders, Traditional Teachers were all presented with Tobacco for their presence at the Ceremony. Some were presented Tobacco at the Ceremony. The two day Ceremony was intimate gathering with fewer than a hundred people in attendance. So much wisdom present in the two days. The amount of knowledge shared was incredible. Those of us in their presence were so fortunate.

"Well, God bless your crooked little heart, St. Louis got the best of me. I miss your broken-China Voice. How I wish you were still here with me."

I remember this guy used social media to announce his Ceremonies/Sweat Lodges. He would write "come if your intentions are good" or something like that. I like that and at the same time question that. Would I not come if my intentions were not good? I don't even know what that would look like. It feels weird but it's like the saying "prayers up, tobacco down." I guess it's meant to inspire or to acknowledge something? Me, I miss when the Old People would answer a story with "Yoohoo."

"Well, he gave her a dimestore watch, and a ring made from a spoon. Everyone's looking for someone to blame, when you share my bed, you share my name."

Measuring Spiritual Dicks

2026-02-27T16:23:00.005-06:00

When I was a kid, I went to the Fort Alexander Indian Boarding School on our Reserve. The Nuns were the teachers along with the Priest. It was a grand building, three stories and basement floor. I remember we used to tease this guy, "nananana-number 99, na ah." I guess when he stood in line up, this was his number or the person's number next to him. He had a stutter and this was what he said when the kids were in line to go into the Indian boarding school. We did catechism or Catholicism (always thought it was called Categism, ha funny it isn't) I think everyday. At home as a kid I had four-volume Bible story books. Filled with stories of the Bible along with some drawings to illustrate the story lines. You can say I learned a bit about the Bible stories, along with everyone else in the school. Thing is it doesn't make an expert or even competent in the stories or teachings from Christianity. There is always an "expert" out there in these matters of religious doctrine. They will hit you over the head with how much they know. Meaning you are beneath them and they have a bigger spiritual-dick than you (I actually didn't know there was a spiritual dick term, I thought I made it up based on what I see).

In Anishinaabe circles there is similar things happening with more "Traditional" than you contests. It is like when were young, the guys always bragging about how many girls they "banged" or how big their dicks were. Well that is happening in the Indian tipis today. I like the phrase once used to describe the righteous and the pious sycophants of the various religious houses, Machi-Anishinaabe. It's funny we have a guy called Machi-Preacher and another called Machi-Elder. These Machi-individuals are more than others because they proclaim a divinity bestowed on them either by God or the Creator. So they too want to carry the big dick around.

How do we know who has the biggest spiritual dick anyways? What measuring stick do we use. I guess we can take your word for it. As one person said, "I went to the Real Elders." I imagine there are those who indeed studied under the Gete Anishinaabe Peter O'chiese. Elder O'chiese came a number of times to Manitoba and thought a number of Elders. That is fact and no one can take away from all those who he had shared Ceremony with (Roseau River, Sagkeeng, Black River, to name a few places). I knew a few of those men and women who attended Elder O'Chiese Teaching ceremonies. Many became Knowledge Keepers, Elders, Teachers, Healers and Helpers. I don't think I ever seen them try get into a Spiritual-Dick contest. I imagine it might be due to the Teaching O'Chiese said about living Kindness. One of the gifts Creator gave was to have Kindness.

I guess showing off how big your spiritual-dick is doesn't have anything to do with Kindness, but who knows. Maybe slinging your big spiritual dick around is a good thing, but I wonder if it is.

My dick may be small, but it's the one I have and will use it as much as I can. The small-spiritual-dick may not be smashing anything but what the heck, have fun with it anyways.

For all you big-spiritual-dick people, can I ask you, does it get heavy carrying all that, doesn't it get tiring being a big-dick?

Wouldn't it be funny if people started saying, "I can see your spiritual-dick, put it in your pants."

Spiritual Dick - Measuring Is Not A Vibe

The Allure of Comparison:

In a world that often emphasizes external achievements, it's no surprise that this mentality can infiltrate even the most sacred and personal realms of life, including spirituality. The allure of comparison can turn a journey meant for self-discovery and inner peace into a race for who can accumulate the most esoteric knowledge, the longest meditation sessions, or the most profound spiritual experiences.

Ojeenay, Do Bad and Bad will Bad You

2026-02-25T21:08:00.004-06:00

I am not too old, 65 and relatively doing okay. Sure I have the pain in my shoulders and weak hands. I have diabetes, never expected to get that as I'm not a big sugar person. I do however like bread, lots of bread. Maybe it contributed to my sugar being out of whack but who knows. All I know is I lived a pretty long life already. I am curious and wonder about my impending demise. Will I get dementia and live obliviously to what is going on around me? It could be something for sure. I am kind of excited to know what will happen. Not that I'm welcoming my end of existence but it will come regardless of what I think. Will I be killed in a car accident, going 120 kilometers an hour down a gravel washboard road and I serve onto the side of the ditch hitting a large oak tree or a poplar tree. Or maybe I just get sick with diabetes and start to lose my limbs. First a foot, than more of the leg and then the other leg. So I'm in wheel chair and the wife puts me in a home. I certainly hope not. In any case there are reasons I might have a bad death.

When you're young you don't have the experience to really understand your stupidity. The stupid, the mean and the ugly things you do. When I was about 18, I was out hunting with some cousins and they were younger than me. We saw a Big Black Bear in a farmers field. It started running away from us. I aimed at it and pulled the trigger. I was using my Dad's old 3030 Winchester model 94. The Bear fell in its tracks. We took off. I killed a Bear with no intent to use it. It was an ugly mean act of pure evil. Killing a Relative, an animal that did no harm to anyone. An animal known for its medicine. I did that. I was told about Bears later on. How a skinned Bear resembles a person. How the Bear carries medicine.

My Dad always use to speak of Ojeenay. You were never ever to do wrong to animals. You will be punished for doing bad to animals. I broke that rule, that common sense knowledge to do right. I decided in a moment to kill for the sake of killing. Fuck me anyways. No wonder Ojeenay followed me. Maybe it still follows me. I never did apologize for taking the Bear's life. Perhaps I should try and do that, Feast the Bear and ask for it to forgive my ugly act. Maybe it will give me a a task to do, I don't know.

Last week I was in a situation where a Medicine Woman was available. I had no real reason to go see her, but for about a month or so I had been feeling wrong, my body felt off and it was like a dark blanket was on me. So it was just happenstance that I go the opportunity and did go offer tobacco, gifts and a little money. I also had an ugly incident from a fellow in the Reserve. I also bit into a small piece of ham and didn't I break my teeth. I had a front bridge that was connected to my teeth. The teeth broke off at the roots. So it hurt for a bit, as the nerve was exposed. The Medicine Woman did Ceremony for me. She discovered a person did "Bad Medicine" on me. Same guy who did me ugly in the Reserve. Go figure it was not something I didn't expect. After all the guy is a douche. That's the technical term for him. So I'm not to act against him. Ojeenay will be his future.

I have done lot to be regretful, ashamed, guilty for and that is for sure. There are also many things I feel good about. Will I ever balance the scales of doing Bad and doing Good?

I never ever forgot the Bear. His last movements I still see clearly. I do remember everything.

Will I remember anything as I go meeting my death.

One of the things is I know the wrong I have done, no amount of scolding from others can cause more harm to me than I harm myself.

Where Are Your Fucking Receipts

2026-02-16T14:30:00.002-06:00

We are trying to bring a Ceremony to our Reserve, Sagkeeng Anishinaabe Nation. The Ceremony will be for both Women and for Men: Water Protectors ("To be a Water Carrier is to protect water as life itself...") and Ogichidaa ("the word originates from components that suggest growth (Ogi-), greatness (Chi), and Heart/Spirit (-Daa). It represents a person who embodies courage, compassion, and the protection of their people"). Our Reserve has a little more than 9,000 people registered to our Band/Nation. More than half of our Members do not live in the confines of the Reserve. The people who reside in the Reserve are truly blessed to have a community with relatives. The Ceremony we are trying to have is just another block to add to the future of our community.

Sunday Afternoon
North End Bear Clan
We sure had a wonderful day in the neighborhood! We were able to hand out sandwiches, juice boxes, snacks, sweaters, & smiles. Thank you so much to our amazing, dedicated volunteers & our friends from 190! Stay safe & please look out for one another out there (Facebook)

I am a fan of people who do the work. These folks are volunteers. They go on the streets. They meet with those who are needing help. They speak with people, they listen to people, they help people. This is the work of Protectors, the Ogichidaa. They are the ones who have the "receipts" for what they have done for their community. We need more of these people. The ones who do what is right and walk with kindness. We need to also recognize they are regular people who do live life which includes mistakes, vulnerabilities and shortcomings. Still through it all they want to live a life of doing what is right. Many try.

There are some who are full of shit. I had the privilege of dealing with a fella in our Reserve. He claims to be "Traditional" and works in the community in that way. What he is trying to say is that he walks the Red Road, a walk of being a good person, a person with respect, humility, compassion, kindness and all what goes with being Traditional. It's akin to being a Christian, a person who believes in the Teaching of the Church or Bible. A person who "loves thy neighbour." When someone boasts of walking this road, it is not usually meant as a they are kind and to be respected for their Beliefs. In some cases, it is to put you beneath them. Fuck those guys. Show me the fucking receipts. How do you walk when it is not about your pay? Of course there are many, many good people who are employed in a care industry and do make an earning for their work. But to them it doesn't stop at the bell, when it's time to go home. No, they are walking and earning their receipts out in the community outside of their jobs. Good people, helping people, they are. They have been doing this most of their lives. For others, it is performative. Performing an act. They go to bed with the "fooled em' again," as their mantra. The only thing is they are not fooling anyone. We see them, you see them.

So the bringing of the Water Protector-Ogichidaa Ceremony is not for performance. There are those already being the "Great-Hearted-Ones." They will come take a pledge to continue their way of living. It is just in this Ceremony, they will pledge to themselves and the Creator, in front of witnesses, that they will live a life of being a good community Ambassador. A person who will stand up for the Land, the Water, the Community, the People.

For the guy/girl who uses the title of Traditionalist or Christian just to try and cloak themselves in respectability, go suck a moo arse. You don't have any receipts to show your are doing the work.

Murdered Missing Indigenous Women Walk Winnipeg 2026

2026-02-15T15:27:00.000-06:00

February 14 Canadian Women (and men) gather to remember the Many Women who have gone missing or have been murdered. I have gone to some of the walks in the past, decided to go this year. I meet people, relatives, friends who go to support the families. I see Bernice is still bringing awareness for her girl, Jennifer. There is a feeling of overwhelming sadness but you also see the resilience of the survivors, the families still searching and remembering. I see Sue Caribou still using her voice to bring justice for Tanya. There are many names, and most I don't know anything about. I marvel at those who continue to show up and support. My nieces are there with some of their children to take part in the Remembrance Ceremony and Walk. The hurt is still there and the people are not giving up. Our Reserve has its share of Women who have gone missing and have been murdered. It is disheartening to see small turnout of our community at these Gatherings. I know you can't go to everything that is happening.

We see you Women who never give up.

Grand Chief of MKO

Denise is a long time volunteer

Canada Bring Conscription

2026-01-23T23:43:00.002-06:00

There are 49 countries who have mandatory military service requirements of their citizens. Yeah, we know North Korea and Israel are examples of the ugly face of conscription. Still, there must be some good for people to serve in the country's military (not a question). There was a documentary on the Fifth Estate about the Black kids being taken from Toronto. As you can guess, it's an ugly life for these boys and their parents. I did write about Indian kids should be joining the army. In the post: "The Armed Forces is a way out of the life of slow death. It can give hope to a group of youth that are deemed to fail. Doomed to face a hard short, in many cases violent life. A life of despair, not the good life. The Armed Forces can provide a new lifestyle, not a street lifestyle. It can give them pride. Pride in who they are and what they can be. A view of something other than decay, rot and slow death. A view other than the falsehoods of gang life."

The notion of being forced into the Army is frightening. You lose your freedom for a specific period of time. For sure this is not what anyone would agree to. I think we have no choice to give away the freedom for a brief moment in the life. The Fifth Estate highlights how society sees the Blacks, the Indians and we are nothing (in their eyes). The only lives that matter are not ours. The military provides an escape from the world which doesn't see or care. Hopefully in the military, you can be part of something, some kind of team. Maybe learn some life skills that can you can carry throughout your life. Maybe you become to like the army and make it a career. Who knows?

Would Canada have the guts to introduce mandatory military service? After all, it is only the Global South we expect to have forced military service. Surprise, "go ahead and call the cops, you don't meet nice girls in coffee shops." Greece, Switzerland, Denmark, United States (yes they still have it, but are not using it, but can at any time), total of 15 countries in Europe, Finland, Norway, New Zealand does not have mandatory military service. Canada borders a Wild Boar. "This Wild Boar is an invasive species which destroys: Feral swine (wild pigs, boars, or feral hogs) are a destructive, invasive species that are prevalent in the U.S." The Wild Boar has no natural predator. "Territorial agencies are actively working together to manage the threat and damage caused by feral swine and to mitigate their impact. This collaboration includes: NATO, NGO's, ICJ.

Canada in terms of military strength is anemic, like a marsh mellow, the small colourful ones. Not the big fluffy ones, Canada's military is not big, it's small and soft. It's actually still capable of being a military with spirit and some bite.

In the end maybe having those Brown and Black kids in the army will quiet down those white supremacists who have made the army their home.

boldeagle@forces.gc.ca

100 million, What our We Going to do with it?

2026-01-18T21:44:00.000-06:00

Our Reserve is going through interesting times. Our Chief and Council are coming up to their third year in their four year term. Yeah, we went "Custom Council" and made our own election law. Supposed to be different than the Indian Act election rules. In my opinion our Reserve's election law is funny, stupid funny. The folks who drew up the law, did some wild dancing in a dark room, naked, listening to Tiny Tim's Tiptoe Through the Tulips and came up with a dog's dish of an election law. We have just voted on a TLE for 100 million dollars (20 or 30 million for lawyers fees). The TLE process was years in the making. The Band didn't get into court and settled out of court. The community had to vote on the settlement and the Trust Agreement attached to it. First round of voting, not enough of a clear majority, a second vote sealed the deal. Where things go from here, I don't know. Our Reserve has not made sound financial decisions in the past. Not suggesting any misdeeds, rather just stupidity and naivety on our part, which happens to many people. Montana Power is a prime example of stupidity in doing business and bad decisions. Montana Power was making good money and did some crazy selling, the result loss of cash and lots of it. The reason I point this out, it's not just an Indian thing of being stupid in business.

I recently started working in our community a few months ago. It seems I'm a functioning Depressive. Luckily I'm in no position of authority or decision making authority. It would not end well for me, I'm sure. I am told what to do and it is rewarding: no drama, no inter-office romance, no high-level-executive-meetings, no firing children from their dungeon toil of digging holes, making shoes and shirts. I never knew just how bad our Meth problem was in the Reserve. The amount of homeless Indians in the Reserve is gummy eye opening. We do Harm Reduction activities to try and help. Other than this news, I'm sworn to secrecy to protect names of people and I intend to honour my Oath to Office.

It's funny because I tend to tell stories of my deeds on social media. I may have exaggerated a time or two about my magnanimous exploits of courage, heroics and romantic encounters. Lot of what I share is factual. Like the time I pooped my pants while I sped away from the cops, stopped over by a train on the tracks, and I lay under the train as it hummed in the spot. I watched the cop hand lights as they ran around my abandoned truck. Yeah, I was 18 and drunk as a turtle waste high in ketchup and maple syrup. I escaped the arrest and took a cab to the Reserve, which cost $65 dollars, it was 1978. I only actively drank alcohol to 19 years of age. A funny story, I stopped drinking New Years eve, 1980. The Chief we have now is the guy who beat me up that night. He beat me so bad, I didn't drink after that. Mean bugger he was, I can still feel the hurt he put on me. Funny thing is I like talking with that guy.

The TLE process is a closed door. We don't know the formula used to calculate the amount of compensation for loss of land, the potential, the length of time and what things were worth back then compared to today's dollars. Me, I did vote yes. Not that I am happy about the amount or the Trust agreement and how it will be looked after. What would you think the community should do with it? The TLE will be locked in a Trust Fund. People are afraid of a consultant company owned by Phil Fontaine. His partner is Kathleen Mahoney, one of the Architects for Indian Residential School agreement (TRC). I guess the membership of Sagkeeng no longer trusts them. I don't know but I am sure the community will use the Trust as a guarantee for Bank Loans. RBC is the Trust holder and people know Phil has a long time affiliation with Royal Bank. Naturally people wonder about the selection of financial institution and who decided. There is no use for people to complain as it is a done deal anyways.

We are all hoping good things come out of the Trust Agreement. How the use of the Trust will grow and be used for the betterment of the community. Lot of folks were hoping for a direct payout of the Trust to community membership. Me, I thought that would be nice but who benefits? Not the community but the outside community from the purchasing actions of the people. The money would be gone in moments, to used car dealers, appliance stores, and other retail outfits. Quads, skidoos would be all over the Reserve. Not sure about off-Reserve folks and their purchases. With the Trust maybe the community will decide to do some exciting stuff, maybe small manufacturing business, who knows. I know if you give a dollar to someone poor, they are going to spend it. We don't have finance portfolios, savings bonds or other money instruments. That is a upper white thing. Poor people of all stripes will spend. They won't try grow it because they need it now.

So the Band will have some cash to toy with. Some ideas on how to play is what's next on the agenda.

My Friend Died Today

2025-11-16T20:36:00.003-06:00

You know life gets weird as you get older. I mean older older, not like when you are in your forties and you think that is old, but really it is not. As we get older, we start to lose more and more people. The word is surreal. Your normal life is not the same anymore.

I have many friends, and I don't have contact with them anymore. Still they are my friends. We all go like that, life gets different so we don't have the contact with friends we once had. Like when you are friends as kids. You may not have relationships with people you once were as kids. It is a life journey. We don't stress over it or long for those long gone friendships. When they die, we do reminisce of days gone. I regret some of my actions when some of my friends died. I always wish I could have been a better friend.

I always see "true friends" memes and quotes on the internet, like social media sites. I think they are wrong. Friendship is not a linear path with just one long good time with each other. "True Friendship" is messy, it's fun, it's pain, it's being vulnerable with each other, angry with each other, letting each other down and forgiving of each other.

That is my friend. We shared a lot of love together. We shared real anger. We shared many laughs. We shared tears. We shared hostility. We shared fun, lots of fun. We shared stories. We shared loss and we have shared blessings.

I drove down to the Reserve to visit with the family. The drive was a journey of memories. The good, the awful, the bad and the great times we had. He was a an arse for sure. He was a gentlemen. He was a protector, and aggressor. He was a husband, father, grandfather, uncle, cousin and an Indian, an Anishinaabe.

I find myself feeling weird. I long for the days of my youth and my friend was a part of that, actually a big part of it. Not saying it was always good, heck no. We fought a lot. But we sure had a heck of a ride. Lots and I mean lots of laughs. Lot of those laughs were at the expense of others. Teasing, calling down, making fun and that was common. The brunt of those teased either walked into it knowingly a target or those clueless. In any case, they walked away whispering "fucking prick." Many a target was hit. Don't think my friend was immune to being hit as well. That's how it works, if you slam, expect to be slammed. I was hammered many a time, and still came back. Lot of folks kept putting their "hand on the red hot element" again and again. Foolish eh?

In our Reserve lot of that going on, "how in the heck can people be so dumb." We had many a conversation of how we kept seeing the foolish, the dumb, the dimwitted, and our own selves. My friend laughed as he spoke of our Leader. Saying "I wonder if they go to bed at night saying, fooled 'em again." Meaning our leadership pulled a Trump, "lie and they will believe." Of course everyone knows. My friend said "yeah he fooled me too." Everyone was I say (laughing with my friend, but from a good spot in our heart).

I will miss my friend as I find myself in a weird place.

Oh yeah, Fuck Cancer.

Warren Zevon had brain Cancer, knew he was not long for the world, he wrote this song.

Man, that guy is a real jerk.

2025-10-29T18:24:00.003-05:00

I was at the Canada Post office today. A fellow sent me a Pipe from the US. This guy has integrity. Lot of folks out there will take your money but won't deliver on what they paid for. A cousin was slammed over the internet for not delivering on the goods she was selling. Not a good thing to do. Any case you only have your own face to look at. Can we look at our face and say, "boy you're cute, you're doing good in the world, and you're trustworthy." I throw cute in there because, you can only be ugly if you can't look at your own face. Looking at your own face because you are a real jerk.

The Canada Post counter person, saw me looking at the coins in the display case and he said "they got a lot of nice coins coming out." I agreed and told him, I was a fan of the coins but stopped buying them. I used to buy the coins that were full value. I mean the face value of the coin was what it cost to buy. For instance a $30 coin cost thirty dollars. Canada post stopped the practice of selling coins for face value. You know why? It was because of a real jerk. Yeah, one real jerk screwed it up. The thing was he was just proud of his actions. What he did was this: he would order a large amount of face value coins. He would pay by credit card. He would then return the coins and Royal Mint of Canada would accept the return and give back the amount. So the guy has not spent any money but yet collects points. He was on the news bragging about this scam. He was a law school student. He was actually bragging about his theft. What a real jerk. I don't know if you can purchase coins at face value now.

The power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you.

Like many I can be the jerk who won't look at their own ugly face. But man, I am trying to be cute. Doing lots and lots of cute things: picking up after myself, doing chores at home, not swearing at jerks when it's expected. Giving Alms to the poor. Especially, when the poor is an Indigenous Woman. There are so many people at road intersections with their hands out, "Alms for the poor, Alms for the poor." Interesting not all the intersection Stevens are not Indian. Some of them are actually middle age and older White men. Strange, I know. Doesn't fit the stereotype of who is asking for change. The bad thing for people, the poor is, not much people handle cash these days. It is the use of interact plastic cards or credit cards. So when I go to the bank I will get cash and some change as well. Just in case I want to be cute and not a real jerk. So I will try and give when I can to the Indian at the interaction. Most times I am not walking, I am one of those driving jerks.

In our Reserve there are some people who are damn cute. They just go about being kind to others, compassionate and say nice things. They say nice things to and about people. They say nice things that are happening in the community. Damn cute I say. Then again, (audible loud long sigh) there are the real jerks. Folks who do not find joy in things in the community. This are the real jerks. I'm talking "man, that guy, that Woman, is a real jerk."

The power of Christ compels you. The power of Christ compels you.

We had a small Elder brunch this morning. The Health Centre sponsored the Brunch. 10 people came for the brunch. Bad timing, pension day. One participant was telling us, this used to happen a few years ago with people getting together for breakfast. The food would be cooked as people arrived. It was a very nice setting for people to visit. One guy got angry because the food was taking too long and started swearing around. She said, "I never went back." Man,, that guy was a real jerk.

That's the thing isn't it? Man, that guy is a real jerk, and the thing is, he or she will spoil a good thing.

Rotten dirty buggers with warts on the bums.

I wish you are cute. The cute where you can look yourself in the mirror and say "man, that guy is cute."

Can only be cute when doing good things.

G'waabaamin Neechies

The Power Of Neehies embrace you. The power of Neechies embrace you.

Can White People Be Trusted As Allies.

2025-10-10T22:56:00.002-05:00

Can Indians, Black People, really trust White people to be an ally? I don't think so, nope they cannot be trusted. It is not that they are not trust worthy people. It is only because of their race. Yeah, we know race is just a social construct and we are all just human beings, living side by side on this place called Earth. What the heck is a social construct anyways? The way is this, we go with who we know, who is like us. I will side with Indians against Whites 99.99% of the time. There may be an exception where I would take the side of a white person over an Indian, but has to be an extreme case. You know how I know we will chose ours other than them? It is happening everywhere. Israel is engaged in the most horrendous acts to other human beings and despite the overwhelming videos, Israel is still supported. They are portrayed as defenders, and victims. In your mind, you are saying "how the fuck can this be happening? Those people are vile, maggots, ruthless, heartless, evil monsters." Still if it was us that were doing the harm, would we not side with our own?

This is the situation with Allies. Sure they are good people, caring people, wonderful people, open-minded people, people who want fairness in the world. These people will side with the oppressed, the marginalized, the ethnic, the poor and the ( Johnny always wore black cause he identified with the poor, and the downtrodden) and the downtrodden. There is a line they will stop at. If the issue has an affect they will not benefit from but will benefit the people they normal support, it causes them to stop. It makes them turn, cease to take part or even fight against. An Ally is an Ally when it causes them no challenge to their own system, their own comfort.

The big thing with Indian people, Indigenous people the world over, is land. Land back is a slogan and becoming a mindset of our people, and Indigenous people who were settled by colonizers, by colonialism. Even the most "bleeding-hearted, commie, liberal, woke person (lawyers, consultants) will balk at having Land handed back to Indigenous folk. Can you imagine a white lawyer arguing against his society for Indians, Blacks, Maori, Aborigine, to own the country/continent they are currently living in? They wouldn't do it, as it would be betrayal of their own people. There are some examples of people who are not siding within their "group:" Norman Finkelstein, Wallace Shawn, Peter Garrett. I am not sure how far they are willing to go with being on the "outside" of their groups. Who knows? Even the most conscientious goody has a line they will no cross. The line usually has to do with cost, how much will it cost and what is the sacrifice.

I know there are good people who genuinely want to do what is fair, right? Okay then, if that is the case, why has there been no Reparations for the Slavery of Blacks? The United States stands on the blood and murder of countless Black people. And yet, the US will provide Billions of dollars to a genocidal society like Israel? There are too many examples of wrongs by White society to other Race groups in the country and world to mention. Let's just say, there are no Allies there. They will be Ally until it becomes too hard for their own comfort.

The Reddest Red

2025-09-05T13:33:00.001-05:00

As I looked at it, as I held it in my hand, I started to think about the color, the contrast between the objects. Sure there was some obscure kind of brown amongst the white but it was the Red that held my head still, held in abeyance. I looked and I looked. How can something be this Red? I immediately thought about the different descriptions we add to the Red. It's Christmas Red. It is Cherry Red. No, it's Candy Apple Red. You know, there is a colour code, or actually, there are codes attached to colours. For real. One of the codes, used in design is the hexadecimal "representation of RGB (Red Green Black). There is also the Taylor Hartman Color Code, which is weird. It is a code for personality, what kind of person you are. Weird code of Red Blue White Yellow which traits you have and why you do things a certain way. So not related to what I was seeing. Anyways, this is not the type of colour code I was thinking about. I was not even thinking of colour codes, but colours themselves and the names. Like Scarlet, Crimson and Vermillion. I guess I might have thought to the textures as well that are associated with the colours. Like Red Velvet. No, not the cake but the coat. Or like the Red Serge of the Royal Canadian Mounty. You know, the always gets their man, cops.

Speaking of cops, I don't interact with them very often. I think that is a good thing. They sure have a reputation of killing Indians. In any case, looking at the colors, especially the Red and how striking it was, I couldn't help but think of the time I chopped my hand. I was about 14 and I was outside the house. I was working on making a slingshot. I was chopping on the Y section of the tree branch I had selected for the slingshot. I was using a big knife from my Mom's kitchen. It was one of those old butcher knives with the wooden handle and the large blade. It was a multi-purpose knife that I think everyone had in their home. For some strange reason I chopped my thumb with my Mother's butcher knife. The resulting flow of warm blood was incredible. I looked at it, my thumb, turned around and walked back into the house, through the kitchen, to my parents room and I fell down. I blacked out or as they call it, fainted from the sight of the Red.

I guess your mind takes you to many places while you are examining something. My sister sold me a red car this one time. My sister's are always doing me good. Giving deals or out right gifts. My sister gave me a truck. Very nice little truck, one of those GMC trucks. The red car my sister gave was Toyota Matrix. Cool car, good handling, easy on gas. My daughter killed a deer with the red Matrix and that was it for the car. It's funny thinking about it now, my sister gave me another car before that. It was a red one as well. It was a Chevy, a small one. Can't remember the make. We called it the Rez-Rocket. I gave that one to my brother. They didn't put oil in it and the motor blew. So the end of the Rez-Rocket. Red is interesting.

Okay, so I looked at the Red and was still mesmerized at how striking, how red, how bright it was. It had my complete attention. Even though my mind wondered all over the place, I was captivated by how Red it was. The contrast of white, a dabbled with a some caramel, with the super bright red. Damn it, I never realize those Hemorrhoids bleed and have such a vibrant colour. Time for some Hemorrhoid cream.

Shared Heartache

2025-08-04T23:22:00.004-05:00

Well hello there folks. Going to be 20 years since my Boy hanged himself in his mother's closet at her apartment in Winnipeg. I don't forget to think of him everyday. It's a ritual for me. Many times I remember him as a young child and other times when he is a young man. He killed himself when he was 20 years old. He struggled with addiction and it finally crushed him. So I do have an issue with drug use and drug dealers. I struggle and share the pain of failure because I know in my heart, I contributed to his addiction and his death. At the same time I now realize it was his choice to make and it was a decision, I had no real control over. I just wished he would have reached out to me before he killed himself. It is funny though, after all this time I should have "moved on." Moved on from the day of his death. Moved on from the regrets I relive almost every night as I lay in bed. There are so many regrets, not just about my boy but with my whole adult life. I think people expect a certain amount of lessening with pain over time. I suppose that is true. Still it does fucking hurt to beat all hell when you take the time and relive the moment.

The reason it came to my mind to express and share the feelings about my Boy is due to the Netflix series, "Untamed." Eric Bana acts as some kind of Wilderness Park cop who has lost in son. In the show he can see and talk with his child. I want that. I want to share moments with my Boy. I remember not long after he died, I was on the bus and I could actually see him sitting on the bus with me. Now I can hardly imagine the sound of his voice. I have old videos of him as a child but have not converted them into files that can be played on computer system. There are old VHS, and other videos types that are somewhere, I don't even know where they are. I always say I'm going to convert them to digital format. 20 years has past and I haven't done a single thing yet. The thing about having someone die so long ago, you know one hundred percent no one wants to hear about it. There is so much heartache out there. Why share the heartache?

A suicide took place just this past week in our Reserve. You don't hear anything about it. Usually word travels all over; "who's family is that?" No gossip anywhere. The amount of death in our community, to cancer, to diabetes, to drug poisoning (commonly referred to as Overdose), to suicide has become common place. Our community is known to have the most amount of Women to be on Canada's Murdered Missing Indigenous Women (MMIW)list. Our community is not alone with a high death rate. Many of our Indigenous communities share the heartache of family dying.

That's the thing about shared heartache, it is a shared experience, if it does not happen to us, we don't feel it. When I was thinking about Shared Heartache, and I can see how the pain can be. Still even with shared heartache we may not have empathy or sympathy for others.

Share Heartache is happening right now in the world. I was sitting with a Ukrainian Woman last week. She is now living in Canada because of the war in her country. She is adjusting to a different culture here. She is in her forties, with three children and a husband. They are fortunate to have jobs. The children have made friends and are learning English language. She has family back in her country. I also met a man from Lebanon. He moved here a number of years ago and has not regretted it. He has family still living in Lebanon. He spoke about a family member who just disappeared and they don't know if he is alive or dead. The shared heartache of loss, of war, of displacement. I don't share their heartache but I sympathize. Can I share their heartache? I can "feel" for them for sure.

I wonder if we don't share heartache does what happens to others mean anything? Mean anything to us?

Fuck Israel.

What Works Blasting or Being Reasonable

2025-07-25T23:24:00.000-05:00

White folk have a thing called a Town Hall meeting. I have never been to such an event. Only reference for me is the Woman in the Simpsons television show screaming, "what about the children?" It is a spoof of what happens at a Town Hall meeting of course. We do know how matters take place in Town Hall meetings. There are many segments, examples on the News, showing public meetings, seminars. Even in movies and television shows we see the drama, comedy of public meetings. There is always the angry person in the crowd. Making sure they are heard, or try to be heard. Sometimes it "gets-out-of-hand." In reality I suppose, it is normal for this loud angry speaking to occur. Sometimes you have to raise your voice to be heard. I wonder how effective blasting at people can be? What is the alternative, speak reasonably so you don't turn people off, make them not want to hear you. If you're reasonable, even toned speaking are you taken seriously? Can the passion you feel about the issue be properly expressed in a calm voice? Or does your passion have to visually demonstrated with spit flying from you mouth?

In Indian country we have the town hall equivalent called "the Band Meeting." Oooohhh, the dreaded Band Meeting. Nope, we are not talking about the band meetings of the Methodists. Those are meetings of a few people who pray and confess their sins to each other. Nope we are talking about the Band Meetings where the Chief and Council of a Band, stand in front and meet their community members. Many a Chief and Council have felt the Blasting of the Band Member at these Band Meetings. The barrage of barbs, claims of corruption, accusations of nepotism come quickly and with venomous vitriol. We have the equivalent of the wider society's "Karen." These Women and lesser men are prone to take over the Town Hall meeting, but in the Band Meeting you dare not interrupt the Karen, or in our case, the Ombiigizi. In many of our Native-Indian communities we tend to tolerate the loud mouths. We tolerate it so much it is part of the Band Meeting. The obligatory slogan, "what about the children," is usually strewn about by our loud ones.

The slogan varies, with "I worry for my grandchildren," or "our children are the future." to make it known they are really caring individuals. They are beyond reproach and damn you, if you dare to question their moral authority. The overall sentiment is that they have every right to demean you, to tear a huge hole right in your arse. Theirs is the only voice that matters in the Band Meeting. Just the other day, I witnessed a verbal barrage at a group of people by one of our Elders. To put in context, a group from our community were guests at another Indian Reserve. It was a happy event, with gifts exchanged, good kind words to each other and food. For some reason, one of our Elders decided that it was a fitting place to "voice" concerns about events happening in our community, which had nothing to do with our hosts community. The Elder scolded our hosts, it was like she was at one of our Band Meetings and just went with was natural to her. She capped off her tirade with "I'm passionate and make no apology for that."

Fuck sakes.

Like, I'm passionate can be used as a key for excusing rude behaviour. "I'm passionate so I can just go around blasting anyone and it makes it okay, because I am passionate." Heck. I'm passionate about masturbation but you don't see me tossing seminal fluid at everyone and everywhere. You just can't do that. Only Harvey Weinstein, and Louis CK , both rich white men, can masturbate in front of Women. What would happen if me, a poor Indian guy, were to masturbate around like they did? For sure a blasting is not the only thing that would happen to me. So why are we willing to excuse, normalize the Karens, the whinners, the criers, the loud mouths (at Band Meetings) the "Passionate?"

We most likely have all done it, lashed out in anger, raised the voice, kicked a chair, pointed a finger, maybe even pulled your pants down showed off your arse (the moon) to make a point. Still does the point get heard when it is loud or does the message get drowned out because of the noise. I don't know. The only thing I know is I would rather listen to someone being clear, calm, even joking, that is what I would rather hear. Can we hear the passion if the voice is calm? Perhaps we need the loud, the angry, for the passionate to be heard. I just don't know.

Sagkeeng Anishinaabe Nation meets Pikwakanagan Algonquin Nation: Talk Chalk River

2025-07-24T23:30:00.005-05:00

A group of people traveled to Ontario from Manitoba to visit the Chalk River Nuclear site. The reason they went was to try get and understanding of what it means to decommission a Nuclear site. The visit was very interesting, scary and fun. The interesting part was the visual anticipation of what a Nuclear site looked like. The scary part is we are talking radiation here. The fun part was the Sagkeeng Leadership and the Elders along for the trip. The Sagkeeng group were fully engaged in listening to the various parties that were met.

We'll discuss the visit reasons a bit more later in the post. The good news was visiting, meeting a First Nation we had not known before our trip to their Territory. Pikwakanagan was our last visit to the region. Our Chief, EJ Fontaine, Councilors, Tanya Bunn, Dwight Swampy, Johnnish Courchene, Henry Swampy lead the delegation of Sagkeeng Members. The delegation comprised of Elders, and youth representatives of our Band. At Pikwakanagan we were hosted to a tour of their community, a history of their Nation, and a Ceremonial Feast. Our hosts were Chief Greg Sarazin, Council Don Bilodeau, Merv Sarazin, PJ Leroux, Vicky Two Axe, Sherry Kohoko, Dale Benoit and community Elders and members.

There were welcoming remarks, gifts given to our delegation from Chief and Council. Our Chief of Sagkeeng and Elder Mary Starr presented gifts to the Chief and Council. Both Chiefs were gracious in their remarks and hoped to establish a friendship and information network. It never ceases to bring me pride at how generous, kind and full of joy our people are. Doesn't matter the community, when strangers come in, they are treated better than cousins and family (family can be annoying that's why). Pikwakanagan is very proud (and rightly so) of their community. They have a rich history and are known for the Birch Bark Canoes. A legacy of Traditional Canoe building which still carries on in the community. The people of Pikwakanagan are fully engaged in Traditional practices. The language, like all our communities, has been attacked and is full of scars. Thanks to their community, a revitalization of the Language is part of their focus.

Piwakanagan has been active in voicing their concerns regarding Chalk River for a long time. It seems they are finally having discussions with Chalk River. The Chalk River does pose real threats to their territory. Chalk River is the dumping ground for Nuclear waste from plants all over Canada. As history reveals, no consideration of the Indigenous population has been the reality of decisions made by Canada to Pikwakanagan members ( and other First Nations in all sectors). The 1952 and 1958 nuclear "accidents" at Chalk River are examples of how serious the threat is to the Land, the Water, the Wild life and people. Our group visited the Pikwakanagan people and how they are affected. How they are now moving forward with the radiation threat in their yards. The reason we are interested is due to the Pinawa Nuclear plant decommission in Manitoba. In 1978 WR-1 nuclear plant leaked 2,731 radioactive oil into the Winnipeg river, the drinking source of Sagkeeng. It took "several weeks" to find and repair the leak. Guess who didn't know about the leak? The Indians of course (but why do they matter anyways). The situation of Pinawa is of great concern to the people in the area, as it should be. So, the reason for the trip to Chalk River and Piwakanagan. Pinawa has plans in place to continue dismantling the site. The company dismantling the Pinawas site, didn't even consider Sagkeeng in the conversation. The Canadian Nuclear Laboratories (CNL) failed to speak with Sagkeeng, In 2018 Sagkeeng Leadership said "Hey man, you fuckers didn't even consult us" or words to that affect. Now there is a delay of the decommissioning process. There are safety concerns to the area, the Land, the Water, Water the people drink.

When Sagkeeng met with CNL representatives there were lots of laughs. Our community, as a whole, are known for their teasing, their joking and their laughter. They are also know for being Zanagizi (can be difficult). We were being provided with a presentation at the Chalk River site by their representatives, I felt for a second that I was in a Band meeting (Band meetings in our Reserve anyway, can be volatile). There were some hard, some very harsh words being delivered by a few people in our delegation. One of our Elders is quite known for Ombiigizi at meetings. One thing for sure, she is known for her aggression at meetings. Thing about Sagkeeng is their quick turns. One minute they are hammering you and the next they are laughing, teasing and joking with you. I always wonder if White folk think "these Indians are crazy," one moment drilling you and the next second, it's like you are "their best friend." For me I have seen this before at meetings, shooting arrows at the Wagons and the next thing fixing their wheels. I know it is a release of the way things have always been for Neechies, (an ugly system that ignores First Nations) the Whites have no real consideration for us. So these Chalk River representatives are just Poogets. They are not the decision makers, they are just there to fluff our pillows, pacify the Indians. The real decisions makers are sitting in the Big Office. Our people know this too, but, Hey if we get a chance to voice, we will voice. Even if we know it is voicing to the bottom-barrel people.

Speaking about our loud one, it was embarrassing for us, when she spoke at the Community Feast (man the food was good, Moose meat on the menu) and lectured Piwakanagan. The issue of the nuclear situation is scary. This Elder spoke on how she is afraid for the children, grandchildren to be brought into the world where radiation from the Pinawa plant is a possibility. Our Elder is known to be vocal, but a well meaning person. The problem for me is this: you don't go into someone's home and lecture them or scold them. The Piwakanagan Nation is not responsible for the radiation in our area. They are working to ensure that their people, their community, their water, the Land is safe for their generations as well. The Sagkeeng Elder was wrong. Sure, the Elder can say they are passionate and make no apology for it, but it was still very wrong. Piwakanagan was hosting us in their home, feeding us, gifting us and we have the nerve, the audacity to scold them. It was embarrassing. I felt for our Chief and Council, and our community that we could insult our hosts. A strong Piwakanagan Ikwe stood and answered our Mongidone. For Piwakanagan the issue is safe storage, and a voice in what takes place. The past is done, the Nuclear plants have been built and placed with no Indigenous consideration at all. The damage is done, now how can we make sure our children are safe and what can we do in this case. The issue is now the aftermath of the nuclear plants. Chalk River is Algonquin territory and should be involved. The problem for the Algonquin Nation is the site is a dumping ground for radioactive material. The radioactive rods from Pinawa plant are being stored at chalk river. What we have to consider is the building. In Pinawa the building is 90 feet under ground. Most of the radioactive material is gone, maybe there is still some of the lesser things, like the radiation suits, gloves and things like that. I am not sure but I think it has already been moved to Chalk River. Chalk River has a lot of Sea-Cans (those big steel containers used to ship stuff on those big Ships) which are full of the "low radiation" materials, like worker contamination gear. Chalk River is also a storage site for High Level Radioactive materials.

Sagkeeng has work to do: learn all they can about the Pinawa proposals for nuclear waste clean-up, storage. I grew up in Sagkeeng and lived through the Pinawa Radiation spill era in 1978. We were swimming all the time, fishing. My Dad, along with many others in the Reserve, netted fish in the Winnipeg river and we angled fish. Winnipeg River is our source of drinking water. The thing is we never knew about the spillage. In comparison, we were made aware of the dumping sewage from the Paper mill into the River, but it was reported to the Band long after the spill had taken place. The Mill was the main polluter, in our area, at least we thought (third worst polluter in Manitoba). The Paper Mill was notorious for polluting the river and the air, not including the decimation of the Forest. There was no incentive or instruction in the Law to inform the Indians of any "incidents," like spillage into the waterways. Little did we know of the nuclear spills from Pinawa nuclear plant. We had no knowledge of the oil dumped into the River system. We were kind of aware of the Nuclear plant in Pinawa but didn't really comprehend the magnitude of what it meant. Now the actions of the various companies have not been historically transparent. The result, a reluctance from Indigenous communities to say "sure, we trust you, go ahead and do you." How can we can trust someone who has a history of not being honest?

So now the situation is this: remove the physical plant from the under ground, then store the plant into shipping containers, move those containers across 2,000 kilometers and then store it at the Chalk River site. Okay that's cool. Or we can do this, Leave the high level radioactive building in the ground, but cover it with concrete material. Contain the radiation and just watch it (monitoring) the next hundred years or so. The preferred method of storing High Level Waste (HWL) is for deep cavern burial. At Chalk River they have above ground storage vessels (Near Surface Disposal Facility NSDF).

So, what's our play here? Risk exposure of the radiation to the area by digging it out of ground, dismantling it, put in containers big enough to hold the dismantled building, ship the tons of material across different people's territories and store it at some other First Nation's territory. Like NIMBY, out of my sight, so it's not my problem.

A difficult decision but really no choice in the matter. Sagkeeng cannot willingly want to put radioactive material in the yard of another Indian. Yet we shouldn't have the radioactive material in our own yard as well. So do we condemn relatives to the radiation? Or do we keep it locked in the ground and hope for the best? As it is, we have little choice to go with the best techniques at hand. We need to keep it locked in the ground. The best or least worse option is to keep it buried. In the future the science may get better.

Sagkeeng could have their own people trained for monitoring the site (at least 50 years). Of course there will be risks. Sagkeeng had a person whose job was to work with the Pinawa plant's activities (the decommission). The problem with this was, although the guy is a relatively nice, friendly, affable, he didn't do anything as far as we could tell. No information was provided to the community. Going forward we will need people to be good, competent at the job. They will be the alarms for the community. Your alarm is only as good as the person is at their job. Remember Walkerton Ontario, when the water monitor ending up killing 7 people, making 2000 people sick. Some of those people still have long lasting issues now. There was monitoring in place but it failed due to human error. Other risks include the Private sector influence on the nuclear sector. Canada's Conservative government gave (sold) the Nuclear sites to CNL. We know in other resource sectors, the private companies abandon the work sites once they exhaust the resources. The clean-up is not always complete, will this happen with nuclear sites?

The Nuclear industry is a mine field of danger, environmental risks, moral dilemmas, and of course greed. Canada is rich in Uranium and is the largest supplier of medical isotopes. The Nuclear industry will only expand as the private sector likes money.

Sagkeeng will need to be involved in the actions of Pinawa shut down. Decision should be to keep it buried, and watch it closely for the future. It is the best practice of the day. Most likely the cheapest cost for CNL as well.

An Anishinaabe Prayer You Can Learn

2025-07-04T23:11:00.001-05:00

Who Should Die First?

2025-06-13T13:20:00.002-05:00

I have changed my mind to, Yes, some people should die. Who am I to want this? Well now, I will tell you who the heck I am. I am a enraged lunatic who is fed up with the injustices of the world. Pissed right off at the scum of the Earth, the dried up bubble gum on the door handles at the government office. And, I am not happy with the uglies. Like Arlo Guthrie once said: "may not be moral enough to join the army after after committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me... the meanest, ugliest nastiet one, the meanest father raper of them all..." These are the kind of people I am considering who should die first. The real mean, nasty ugly looking folk. These are the first ones to die.

Like many, I am horrified at the happenings in the world; Genocide taking place against Palestine, Endless war in the Ukraine, mass killings in Congo, Nigeria, United States continues to terrorize the world, and majority of Rich countries killing the planet, the ultra-rich individuals eating kids. There is in fact this one unhinged individual who really wants to anal his own daughter. Can you imagine that? Sad thing, is looks like this daughter actually encourages her father's appetite for depravity. So much so, her porn-star-stepmom, is jealous of her. The wildness weirdness of rich people (white people in this case). Speaking of anal, there is this Adam Sandler movie where he could stop time. In one scene he stopped time, slapped the Knight Rider actor the H, farted in his mouth so the H could taste poop in his mouth. Wouldn't that be a funny thing if Putin was to defecate in the Orange ones mouth. Be even funnier if it was Claudia Sheinbaum who shit in his face.

The imagination of people is incredible. Can you imagine if the ultra-rich (the likes of Musk, Arnault, Bezos, Zuckerberg, Buffet, Gates, Page, Ellison, Bloomberg, etc) being made to do nasty public stuff. There is a storyline in the Black Mirror television show, where the Prime Minister of England must make decision or let the England Princess be murdered. He is asked to have meaningful intimate sexual intercourse with a large pig. The whole act of this love-making is to be broadcast on television. Should this guy save her life? Now this is something that should take place with the ultra-rich as the participants, don't you think?

The wild and horrible things fictionally made up for public entertainment is actually tame in compare to the happenings in the world right. And the horrible things in the world can be directly and indirectly linked, attributed to those ultra-rich and the governments who suck their wrinkly sacks. I would shed not a tear for anyone of those individuals to die or be made to humiliate themselves to the world.

Heck with them and the offspring who bare their name.

Where Is Our Naru? Where Is Our Billy Jack? Where Is Our Willie Jack?

2025-04-15T14:26:00.003-05:00

In our Reserve, Sagkeeng Anishinaabe Nation, the Meth Crisis is bringing pain to the People. In our Province, Manitoba and our country Canada, the police are bringing pain to the People, Indian people. In the World, the Zionists are bringing pain to the Indigenous Palestinian people. Lot of pain brought to the People around the world. So what can we do to stop or even ease the pain? I don't know about the world but in our Reserve, our community, we sure could use a hero.

There are lots of issues in our community.

So we need Jack, Billy Jack, to introduce themselves. Billy will mostly likely be a Woman, an Ogichidaa.

"You know what I think I'm gonna do then... just for the hell of it... I'm gonna take this right foot, and I'm gonna whop you on that side of your face...and you wanna know something? There's no a damn thing you're gonna be able to do about it." Billy Jack

"You think that I'm not a Hunter like you. That I'm not a threat. That's what makes me dangerous." Naru

"Stoodis, Skoden."