Reason and Passion

Tunes I'm Loving

2009-04-30T11:59:00.001-07:00

Favorite of the week:

Patrick Watson:

http://www.myspace.com/patrickwatson

Strains of Andrew Bird creativity, Damien Rice softness, and then some surprising and sounds... just pleasing to the ear and soul. Especially on rainy afternoons.

Enjoy!

Thailand: Likes and Dislikes

2009-04-16T18:43:00.000-07:00

When I travel I make a lot of lists because I can't write down everything! There's always too much to note.

Likes:

Fruit shakes, cheap and beautiful orchids (wayyyy cheaper than carnations), heat, humidity, spicy food, khao soi (dish in the north), sticky rice, Songkran, water fights, how Thai people say the most cheerful "hello!" ever, listening to people with deeper voices speak thai, tuktuks, night markets, fresh fruit, curry curry curry, thai smiles, when thai people are so kind and welcoming to me, the landscape, the green, wild flowers, bubble tea, cheap thai massages, thai fashion, night trains, people watching, how "sweets" aren't super sugary, lack of processed food, lack of plastic goods, waking up at dawn to the roosters, sleeping in bamboo huts, hiking through hill jungles, elephants, pretty ladies on bikes with umbrellas (an actual event - like a thai beauty show), being in the midst of breaking world news when the rioting started last weekend in Bangkok, beautiful jewelry, traveling like all thais -- dirty night trains, tuktuks, walking barefoot.

Dislikes:

Ants, mosquito bites, peeling sunburns, sweating under sunburns so then they bubble, this curry that smells like dead fish, not being able to really converse with Thai people, paying for water, the meanest smallest woman ever who took our bus money when we boarded in Bangkok, pending riots that make me stay out of Bangkok, open air meat markets in heat, being dehydrated, rice rice rice rice noodles rice rice, british accents (sorry, friends), feeling oober dirty in night trains, my crazy hair in the humidity.

Thailand Week One: Jungle!

2009-04-16T18:11:00.000-07:00

April 10: JUNGLE! I awoke and saw that the rainstorms had passed (this is SUPPOSED to be dry season) and headed out to Khao Sok. I was most anticipating this day trip. Khao Sok is a 130 million year old rainforest. It's about 2 hours from Suratthani. I am kind of obsessed with hiking and had never seen a jungle environment. I had to go. After bartering with Thai about how many baht to pay for my minivan to Khao Sok, I arrived around 1:30, grabbed a room for 200 baht (about 5 dollars), ate fried rice, and headed out to hike.

Background: Most of you have seen this in action -- at times I have a strong competitive, stubborn and prideful streak...

The hiking paths for Khao Sok close at 6:00 p.m. I left at 2:30 to begin my hike. Of course, I wanted to tackle the 7 km hike to the waterfall. It was the longest trail, and I was so jazzed to be in a rainforest that I didn't want to miss anything. The woman told me it was too late to start on that trail. I nodded, thanked her, and decided to do it anyway. 7km. That's not that far. About 1.5 km in, I noted approached rain clouds, and about 4km in, decided that I should settle for the pool and cliffs 6km in. I also noted that I passed no hikers going IN, but all were coming OUT. *shrug. I continued. I was a bit nervous at the thought of being on a trail in thick jungle in the dark, but kept on. (I was mentally composing a blog entry about pride on the way, and the blog entry ended with me stating that my pride was teetering with oncoming clouds, but I conquered the jungle trail.) When I finally reached the pool, I realized it wasn't as dark as I had thought, the vegetation just blocked out the sunlight. I felt better.

_______

NOTE: Earlier that afternoon, this had been my conversation with the guy at the bungalows: "Hi, where you from?" "The United States." "Where?" "The U.S.?" "Oh, America." I winced (that's two continents, not a country), "Yeah, America." "You beautiful." I smiled. "Thanks." He noted my attire. "You go Khao Sok?" "Yes." His eyes filled with warning, "Leeches!"

I shuddered. As a child, I read a lot of Little House on the Prairie. Leeches make me think of Laura Ingalls Wilder in creeks and her subsequent struggle with removing leeches from her legs and arms. END NOTE.
________

About .5 km into the return hike, I got off the trail somehow, and it started to rain. Awesome. I noted that on the map, the trail followed a river. I figured I'd follow the river as well, climb rocks, and arrive safely. Until I slipped on a mossy rock and fell. And stood up to note my legs and hands speckled with... yes, leeches. I freaked out and tried pulling them off me only to learn then they stick to your hands, or your shoes, or fingernails, or coat... Bets on following the river: OFF. Name of the new game: Get out of the jungle without falling again.

After 15 minutes of following wrong paths and cursing the park for poorly marked paths, cursing the rain during "dry season", cursing my pride, and then damning leeches for eternity, I got back on a path that seemed promising. A half km later, I got lost again and started envisioning myself in the jungle overnight. This jungle has tigers, bears, elephants, huge snakes, monkeys, and worst... leeches. I knew I'd get out the next morning -- tourists would hike again -- but spending the night standing up to avoid leeches in the middle of a dark rainforest... didn't sound like fun. I'm not sure anyone has ever seen me in adrenaline, panick mode... I had to resort to deep breaths and talking with myself - outloud, mind you - to try to think logically. (haha. I laugh about it now - a lot - but I was freaked. out.)

Again, I did a few circles on paths, cursed rainforests, cursed my self confidence, cursed my love of adventure, cursed my competitive streak (versus my own expectations), cursed the leech I found in my sock sucking at my ankle, and tried to slow my heartrate.
____________

At this point, I would like to pause and give props to three individuals whose valuable gifts helped me out of the jungle: To my dad who gave me a decent sense of direction, to my friend Kaitlin for waking up in a random Patagonia rain shell at a college party years ago and lending it to me for the trip, and to my friend Jason who fleers my prideful streak more than anyone -- after considering the intense ridicule I would face, I bent my mind on getting out successfully. Thank you to these individuals. Your directions, jacket and pending raillery saved my life.
____________

I finally found a trail, calmed down, began recognizing marks from my trip in, and then trekked as quickly as possible to flee the dense green and enduring rain. I ceased cursing things and just thanked God, luck, anything, when I hit the 2 km mark and the wider tourist trail. I dreamed of water and fruit shakes.

Quite the adventure, being lost 6 km deep in a leech-ridden rainforest, at dusk, during a rainstorm... I'm not sure I'll ever hike alone in a jungle again. But it was beautiful scenery! I retired to my bungalow, found one more leech on my ankle, cursed it, threw it outside and trid to sleep under my mosquito net. I couldn't fall asleep for over 7 hours I was so worked up. Yikes...

I laugh a lot about it now. My tour guide on my trek this week said, "You went to Khao Sok? King cobra there. You see?"

Hell no. I had no idea they were there. Thank goodness.

Thailand: Week One: City life and secluded beaches

2009-04-16T17:07:00.000-07:00

I am "on holiday" in Thailand presently. I left the U.S. on April 4, arriving to my friend Claire, in Surat Thani on April 7 mid-day. It's been an incredibly eventful and true look at Thai life/land.

In this entry:
- Arriving to Claire, bits of Thai culture
- Day at Khanom Beach

Tuesday, April 7: ARRIVED in Suratthani, Thailand. See map above and little red dot. Not a very touristy city, it's mainly a hub to visit the surrounding islands and renowned beaches. My high school friend Claire and her boyfriend, Brandon, are teaching English in Suratthani and will be here through February 2010. Claire's been here for 8 months, speaks functional Thai, and knows all the ins and outs. I have definitely had more of the insider's view because of her, and it's been grand. Tuesday I wandered around the city, noted the smells (not good), the open air meat markets (not appetizing), the ridiculously cheap orchids (amazing), the pace of Thai life in Suratthani, the weird items in corner stores, that everyone owns a motorbike, the lack of any chains (except 711), my love for fresh fruit shakes. Claire and Brandon took me to a woman's food stall/restaurant on the street and ordered a random dish of fish and chicken with sticky rice. So spicy. So good. I learned that if a plate of green vegetables accompany the dish, it signifies an incredible spicy dish. Yum.

Thai's go to bed early and rise early. I'm a fan.

April 8: I set out to KHANOM, a secluded beach about one hour from Suratthani. It's Claire's favorite place, and I wanted to avoid the touristy beaches of Phuket. I'm not a huge beach person, so I didn't mind skipping the tourist spots. I went to the bus station, used the only Thai I knew (Hi, "Go to Khanom", Thank you) to find a minibus (van) to take me. I got kinda lost, the Thai were so kind, and once in Khanom, a guy on a motorbike took me to the bungalows on the beach. It was breath-taking. I was the only tourist -- it was two Thai families and me. Loved it. I hung out on the beach, in the ocean, took long walks in the waves, took a long walk on the beach/climbed rocks to arrive at a restaurant about a mile down the beach. During one of my walks, I joined some Thai kids' soccer game on the beach, got stuck in a huge rainstorm, took cover in a random bar, and the English speaking owner had his driver take me back to my bungalow via motorbike. It was picturesque.

Thai's swim fully clothed and think sunning is silly - that pale white is beautiful - the kids thought I was the weirdest being they had ever seen.

The next morning I walked down the road to a restaurant on the beach for breakfast. The Thai owner who grew up in Khanom and has learned English from tourists, sat and chatted with me over my tea. I was in heaven.

Restaurant Shout-out: Spa Cafe

2009-03-17T06:53:00.000-07:00

If you're in the Loop, you MUST stop by Spa Cafe. A creative, tasty, environmentally friendly restaurant. A wrap is $6 and an amazing hamburger (free range, antibiotic-free, hormone-free meat) is $10. No vegetable oils, refined sugars or preservatives used. Even the utensils are compostable! And, it's just a cool place.

Check it out:

http://www.spacafe.com/

It's my new favorite. I make up events so I can go over for lunch. Try it out.

Poetry: Rumi's Guest House

2009-03-06T08:37:00.000-08:00

I've been sifting through Rumi recently and happened upon this poem. It's now in my office, and I've pondered it throughout this week. I thought I'd share it!

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
Who violently sweep your house
Empty of its furniture,
Still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.

— Rumi

My reflections: At times I become annoyed that a difficult person/situation interrupts my "normal day." However, Rumi reminds me that such instances are not interruptions but are instead an equally legitimate part of life as the moments that I control and choose. Hence I must calmly embrace those that "violently sweep my house" instead of compartmentalizing and labeling as "part of life" v. a random inconvenient occurrence.

State Department Reports 2008

2009-02-26T13:22:00.001-08:00

Yesterday I heard a whoop of excitement come from a co-worker's office. I peered around the corner to inquire as to the cause of such elation.

"The State Department Reports came out today! And it helps my case immensely!" Which means that the facts of the country in question are so horrific that it corroborates our asylum claims.

Sometimes I can't believe what asylum work does to my person. I react with cheers when the U.S. acknowledges that prison conditions have worsened in Ethiopia.

If you want to know what's happening with human rights in any country, check them out:

State Dept. Reports 2008

I printed out the reports for a handful of countries for my commute. I'm completely enthralled.

Restaurant Shout-out: Tweet

2009-02-26T13:21:00.001-08:00

Tweet
5020 N. Sheridan.
*Off the Argyle stop*

I visited this charming breakfast (and now all-day restaurant) spot recently and it is such a gem! Enter and be greeted with pieces of banana chocolate chip bread on your table and your diner coffee mug instantly full and steaming. All organic, locally grown vegetables and environmentally-friendly raised meats. Options for vegans, vegetarians, meat lovers and lovers of sweet breakfasts! A menu of morning cocktails for those in the party who are still in need.

Things to note:

* Massive off-centered portrait of Barack Obama above the host(ess) stand. I’m still not sure if it’s supposed to be a bit sarcastic or if they’re 100% serious and Obama-proud.
* Quirky photos of birds and geese. But then that one photo of a nondescript building’s reception desk backed by plants. It just throws one off a bit.
* Biscuits and gravy. I’m from “the South” as Chicagoans so name So. Ill., therefore, I can judge biscuits and gravy. These were GOOD. There is a vegetarian option, too! All can enjoy.

A lovely find.

Diner Coffee: Invasive

2009-02-26T13:04:00.000-08:00

I love love love breakfast-ing with people (tomando el desayuno!!). It may be my favorite thing. Yes, I’m a morning person. There’s just something so wonderful about starting the day at a slow pace enough to relax, enjoy someone’s company, eat good food. After a shared breakfast, the day can only continue in such a magnificent style.

On President’s Day a friend and I headed to Nookie in Lincoln Park. I’m a new fan of coffee and had thus never had the diner-coffee experience. I took two sips of the sub-par tasting liquid and a waiter instantly replaced the deficit. I looked up surprised, “But I haven’t drunk anything!” My friend explained the process. You drink. They pour. But… can’t I just finish my cup?

For those of you who don’t drink black coffee, how do you do diner coffee? It would seem to get exhausting: constantly measuring cream and sugar and adding and taking away… it would spoil the morning’s slowness and goodness.

I continued desayunando (breakfast-ing in Spanish) and was extremely preoccupied by the loads of coffee being added to my mug. I couldn’t focus. For example, when I become really animated or excited, I speak with my hands. At one point, I recounted a moment of disappointment from my week, and – fittingly so – I put my face in my hands in a gesture of desperation and frustration. But I realized that – NO! – the waiter was going to put more thin brown liquid in my cup! My head shot up.

Don't take your eyes off the mug.

I decided I couldn’t desayunar with such anxiety. I resolved to finish the meal holding my mug so the waiter couldn’t catch me off guard.

Does this mean I like control? I want my coffee mug to be my coffee mug! I want to decide how much coffee is left in the mug! Diner coffee is such an invasive concept.

Winter List

2009-02-03T09:05:00.000-08:00

My friend Sara made a winter list of fun things to do to get her through winter, and she is doing SO well completing it!! I've had my list for a few weeks and have checked things off... but I thought I'd post it. Let me know if you want in on any of it! Or if you have other great ideas...

Winter List:

* Cooking:
Samosas
Tamales
Chai
Pizza dough (*good* pizza dough)

* Lunch concert at Cultural Center
* Art Institute (free in February!)
* Museum of Contemporary Art
* LUMA (Free Tuesdays!)
* Tuesday night bluegrass at Red Line Tap
* Buy tea from Coffee & Tea Exchange
* Snow walk through Grant Park
* Bike in each month at least once
* Listen to live flamenco music
* See an independent film at Landmark & Music Box
* Chicago Symphony Orchestra
* Weekend getaway
* See Rue Royale live - March 20 @ The Hideout

January: things I think are just great

2009-01-13T10:51:00.000-08:00

Things I think are just great:

** Year in Review: found here:

A great way to make fun, creative, unique, practical goals for the coming year. From my experience, best when done with a good friend.

** Thai Massage

Last Sunday I attended a free Thai Massage event to kick off the career of a new masseuse. Thai massage is a unique form of massage that employs various Buddhist meditation and yoga principles. The masseuse uses different stretching techniques on the client to release tension and bring a sense of mental and physical peace. As a viewer, this form of massage is graceful and beautiful as the masseuse uses his/her whole body to release tension in the client. I was lucky enough to receive a massage from one of Chicago’s finest masseuses, and I would highly, highly recommend this form of massage if you’d like to treat yourself. Edgewater’s Yoga Now now hosts Blake , who is also a well-respected masseuse.

** NPR Song-a-Day

I am slowly becoming a radio addict. Now, on top of desiring a land line and a New York times delivered each morning to my door, I want to listen to the radio constantly. I found myself sitting drinking tea next to the radio over my Christmas vacation. Furthermore, I was introduced to excellent music through Song-a-Day – check it out!!

Reflections from So. Ill.

2008-12-27T00:16:00.000-08:00

I just watched The Last King of Scotland. Great movie. Awful idea to watch it before sleeping. Because then sleep doesn't happen and one finds oneself... blogging. About beauty. Because beauty is needed after such a lesson in history.

The film is about Amin, the self-imposed president of Uganda from 1971-1979. He is responsible for an estimated 300,000 deaths. Classic dictatorship/terror storyline -- thousands being killed, yet the United Nations accepted Uganda to the UN Commission on Human Rights. (Shoot, is that my cynicism escaping?)

Anyway, back to reflections. For Christmas I received a compilation of poetry by Rainer Maria Rilke. A classic, I know, but I was only somewhat introduced previously. I tend to muse over a poem for a few days before being able to move on to another. There's a line from Lament that is melting in my mouth like a... jolly rancher? (I never eat those! Why does that come first to mind???)... like a... piece of dark chocolate. (Mm. Better.)

"I would like to step out of my heart

and go walking beneath the enormous sky."

I've been in Southern Illinois for the past week, and have spent time with some gems.

"Irreligious and devoted": Roger. A dear friend, mentor, coach, author. I have never met someone who dreams as big as Roger. He inspires me to fill space with dreams that are too unrealistic to plan. He urges me to run straight down my lane of hurdles, with my eyes only on the finish line. Roger loves people practically with no expectations or motives. He is the most competitive, driven, devoted man I've met. He used to wrestle. If I were a wrestler, I would *never* dare to face him.

"It's your heart palpitation.": G.M. A friend whose presence does the same for me as does a walk in the crisp, cold night air. The complexity of life clears, calms and life regains its beauty. G. is a poet, and seems to make my words sound better. For example, I told him of my dancing. He saw my eyes light up and sat back, smiling. "It seems like it's one of your heart palpitations," he observed. Dale. I'll take that. I'm ready to submerge myself in life once again.

"Hello, my dear!": Mentor, close friend, sister, mother, counselor. A woman who's known me since age 14, who buys my Christmas gifts months in advance (a beautiful wooden tea chest), and who knows the perfect moment, amidst my tears, to make me laugh. Her inventiveness, endless list of ideas, desire to learn, and loyalty make life sparkle. I feel grounded, soothed, and mentally stimulated in her presence. I realized my cheeks hurt from smiling.

Final thoughts about life in a small[er] town: garden gloves are what litter the side of the road, I heard the flapping of twenty blackbirds leave a bare tree as I hiked past, I *did* go walking beneath the enormous pearl-like sky, the owner of my favorite night-spot stayed late until G.M. and I finished our conversation, a store owner flipped his sign back to "open" when I peeked in his window, I paused in my run to listen to geese pass through my part of the sky.

Here's to beauty, magical people, 65 degree days in December, and Rilke's Palm.

Shout out for great organization: Arcus Foundation

2008-12-04T06:42:00.000-08:00

I would like to give my support and cheers to the Arcus Foudation.

"The mission of the Arcus Foundation is to achieve social justice that is inclusive of sexual orientation, gender identity and race, and to ensure conservation and respect of the great apes."

Enough said.

Hearing

2008-12-01T11:01:00.000-08:00

What I've been excited about and listening to lately:

3. Kings of Leon: Only By The Night
Rocker'esk. Energetic. Catchy. I can't wait to put them on my iPod and go for a hard run.

2. The ReMINDers: ReCollect
Hip hop couple currently residing in CO. He sounds like JayZ, her voice blows my mind. They're politically conscious, hopeful and inspiring. I saw them last week at Community Cafe, hosted by IMAN. (You should check out the next Cafe. It was excellent.)

1. The Silent Years
I don't have their album yet, but I've been sampling. They're opening for Longwave at the Double Door on Dec. 17. I'm stoked to go. They have such different sounds -- folk, acoustic, rock... they go loud and energetic and soft and pensive. LOVE THEM.

Enjoy!!!

Shout out for my fav Ryan Adams

2008-11-10T15:17:00.000-08:00

Ryan Adams and the Cardinals released Cardinology on October 28.

I rarely can give one answer to a "favorite ever" question, except that Ryan Adams is my favorite musician ever.

I don't find their new album to differ too greatly that past albums, and in truth it isn't INCREDIBLE, but it's fresh and new Ryan Adam's sound, so I'm in.

Check it out:

http://www.losthighwayrecords.com/artist/releases/release.aspx?pid=1755&aid=58.

Things I think are just great - Post #2

2008-10-02T19:19:00.000-07:00

Fall has arrived. The air smells like fall, leaves crunch and blow, and every morning I sprint from my warm bed through my freezing apartment to the stove to make tea.

Things you should take advantage of:

A morning or dusk on the lakefront. The air and wind is crisp, but not too cold. The sunsets are gentle and layered, and the water is a deep sea green. Today on my bike ride home, a man was painting the horizon, a few men were snapping photos, and other young people had simply put down their bikes to sit for a while.

Honey crisp apples from a farmers' market. I got mine this past Tuesday at Dearborn/Adams. They're the best apples I've ever had -- and I know apples. Check out the Green City Market on Wednesdays and Saturdays. I'm sure they're there as well.

An out-of-city trip. Tomorrow a friend and I are taking our bikes on the Metra post-work and traveling out of the city to ride.

Learning about Eritrea. This might not improve your joy and faith in humanity's goodness, but eat a honey crisp apple while reading and it should balance you a bit. Few people know about Eritrea, yet it is one of the world's leaders in human rights violations. The government forces young men and women into the military, where they are tortured, mistreated and the women often raped. Check out Human Rights Watch or the BBC for articles on Eritrea and the surrounding countries in the Horn of Africa.

Dictionary.com's Word-a-Day. It makes speaking more adventurous. Recent favorite words: enervate. slugabed. repine.

Things I think are just great - Post #1

2008-10-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

NPR has a Song a Day feature. I live by it and have been introduced to great music in the past few weeks!

My current favorites:

** Bon Iver: For Emma, Forever Ago
Released November 2007. Pure acoustic melodies. Simple almost haunting lyrics that are a play on words. His lyrics don't explicitly define his thoughts or moods, but in that sense, they strike me as lovely. Definitely a mood album. A few friends have seconded my statement that the album is addicting. I can't turn it off.

** The Portland Cello Project
Who doesn't love cellos?? Everything from rock/pop songs with other artists to classic cello pieces to experimental melodies. They're next on my to-buy list.

** Ra Ra Riot : The Rhumb Line
I heard them on NPR and fell for the catchy energetic full sound of this six person Syracuse band. Then I saw them live at Subterranean earlier this month. The Rhumb Line was just released in the middle of August 2008 and they're on their first tour. They have a cellist and violinist. Super great.

Other great people to check out: Matt Nathanson, Jose Gonzalez, Calexico

Landlines

2008-09-09T19:48:00.001-07:00

So I've come to the conclusion that living simply has to come in incremental changes (props to Jeff for the encouragement) and then a few risky decisions. I'm at the point of incremental changes... and needing a new change. I'm open to ideas! For now, I've only bought second hand clothes for the past five months, I take books from the library instead of buying, I shop at farmers' markets and my locally owned grocery store, and I've become my grandma by reusing Ziploc bags. What's next? Being more mindful of how much shampoo, paper towels, hair products I use? Act like they're the last ones I have? Compost in my 3 room apt? I think not...

If I were to take risks, this is how I'd simplify my life:

I'd get a landline.

Seriously, I think about landlines a lot. What happened to them? They have such charm, such intimacy.

This week I'm without a cell phone. The past two days have been glorious. If I say I'm meeting a friend somewhere, we meet. Or we don't. But there's none of this:

4:30 Cell phone conversation: "Let's meet at 5:00 at the cafe." "Great, see you there."

5:02 Cell phone rings: "I'm on my way." "Great, see you soon."

5:05 Cell phone rings: "I stopped to get some groceries. Want any oranges? They're on sale." "No, I'll just see you when you arrive."

I mean, really. That's so distracting. Just show up late! Why the three conversations?

How do you feel about landlines?

I'M FOR 'EM!

Espresso black.

2008-08-31T10:05:00.000-07:00

Saturday, August 30. Favorite cafe at home. Salsa dancing in the back room. Quiet coffee-scent in the front.

Existing as a creative being isn't just about producing vibrant paintings, melodic acoustic songs, or going to poetry readings. Embracing one's creativity is also about finding one's deepest joys in daily moments, about becoming alive and seeing life as more than a schedule and a box.

This week I’ve felt so alive. The only way I can animate such a feeling is this image: when my siblings and I were little, we’d gather in my twin sisters’ bedroom just before 7am on Christmas morning, and then jump and pound on the creaking, poorly laid floorboards that doubled as the ceiling of my parents’ room, “Good morning!! Wake up!” Joy so physical that it borders overwhelming annoyance. That was me this week.

Last Friday I sliced open my hand while climbing a tree in Grant Park. Of course (with my ridiculous desire to always be “hardcore”), I loved it. Monday night I became irreparably grumpy when my bike-greased hands failed to successfully secure the back wheel. Tuesday I bought raspberries and blueberries at the farmers’ market on Adams and Dearborn. Back in the office Tuesday afternoon, I realized my hands were still grimy with bike-grease (in some crevices that defied Monday night’s scrubbing), now covered in bright fuchsia raspberry juice, and scabbing quite gracefully from the tree incident. In that moment, I realized I had embraced summer fully.

Wednesday night I went to BajoFondo Tango Orchestra in Millennium Park. Exhilarating. What performers. I thought I would burst of joy and energy. I went with other life-filled friends, and we danced and grinned like little kids, and screamed and loved it. And dancing tango outside to a live orchestra… nothing beats it. I sucked up my dancing insecurity and approached two of the best tango dancing Chicago men and (defying all tango etiquette) asked them to dance! And I think I did okay… perhaps they’ll give me the ever so slight eye-point-to-dancefloor invite next time we’re in the same room…

Thursday night I made pesto and then laid on a pier with a friend, fell in love with the light-pollutioned pink sky, and embraced the gentle drizzle of rain that skimmed my cheeks. Friday I went to immigration court, met a lovely woman from Eritrea, met genuine-hearted attorney who grew up in a small town outside where I grew up, and had lunch with them. That evening a dear friend and I drove to my home, windows down, listening to mixed CDs from 1994, and took turns holding the steering wheel so we could look out the sunroof at the magenta and Crayola mountain purple sunset, and then the starry, espresso black sky.

Today I woke early, ate locally made jam and toast, yoga in the sun, did everything local possible, made sure the juice from farmers’ market peaches ran down my chin, and picnic-d at a vineyard as the sun disappeared behind a lake and forests. And I write as I drink a Cuban coffee from the perfect espresso cup, saucer and spoon.

Life is so beautiful and colorful and full. I am overwhelmed.

Updates from the Train

2008-08-18T06:32:00.000-07:00

Updates on life as of August 17, 2008. Amtrak 5:15 train to Chicago. Drinking ice cold water. Watching the sunset over corn fields (that I hope aren’t producing ethanol) and loving that the air is gold and fuzzy. Like summertime peaches.

This summer has flown past. Today I freaked out because someone’s “out of office” said they wouldn’t be back until August 17. In my mind, I thought it was August 4'ish, and I needed an answer from the person sooner than 2 weeks! When I arrived back to reality and noted that August 17 was today, I felt slightly if not totally ridiculous, and was amazed by the rush of the past months.

I finished Dance of the Dissident Daughter (was deeply challenged by it), Rainer Maria Rilke’s words are etched into my soul, found Elizabeth Bishop, was enchanted by Marquez, and my eyes continue to be opened through Takeover and Words from an Argentine Dirty Warrior.

Summer highlights: daily commuting via bike, moments of live outdoor music, fresh locally grown foods, moving in (second time) to a new apartment and sleeping next to open windows and breezes, late night walks, early morning lakefront runs, homemade spring rolls, lunch at Chase fountain, my summer intern posse (I had three of my own interns!).

So I’m on my way ‘home’ from ‘home.’ I don’t know if I can live in the city forever. Being barefoot in grass while hearing crickets, toads, creeks’ rumblings and while trying to take in glistening spots of stars… it gets me at the core. And – really – is there anything better than locally grown peaches converted to cheap peach jam? Or strawberries and then strawberry butter? I must admit. I splurged and am carrying an ENORMOUS and heavy watermelon and – count them – FOUR jars of jam. Ridiculous…ly amazing! Call me – I’ll invite you over for tea and jammed toast. and watermelon.

I was also reminded that along with my dreams of being a dancer, asylum attorney, human rights worker abroad, history profesora, author, restaurant owner, doula, and/or yoga instructor, I also want to be a…

FARMER.

Really, I do. A farmer. Yep. Bring it. Watch out world – my mid-life career change might land me in a field with tomatoes and watermelons as big as the one I’ll attempt to lug from the train through the station up a flight of stairs to the car.

So those are my current thoughts on life. As much as I’ve been completely awful at staying in touch, I’ve also been awful at blogging… perdoname por fa. Un beso. Chauuu.

Reading List - July 2008

2008-07-01T13:15:00.000-07:00

I presently have five books rotating in a stack by my night stand/enduring binding-wearing transit in my backpack. (All my books get that way. I try to keep them looking nice and crisp, but to no avail.) Here’s the list:

Cien Anos de Soledad by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. A classic magic realism novel that delights me in its exaggerated details and reality. The characters seem to nag at my own human insecurities, and make me chuckle with their ridiculous escapades.

Dance of the Dissident Daughter by Sue Monk Kidd. A personally challenging book about waking up to life’s spirituality. A must-read for any woman (or man, if you’re daring enough to jump into it!) who yearns to push back the walls of the boxes into which her life is packed. Kidd’s diction and style are fresh and strong.

Takeover by Charlie Savage. A political book about the expanding executive power of the United States’ Presidency. Corroborated by this article at democracynow. Rich in example and theory, I am learning about the interplay between the branches of government, and finally starting to grasp the imperial nature of the presidency.

Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen. A refreshing, straightforward look at spirituality and living in our deepest desires.

Elegies in Blue: Poems by Benjamin Alire Saenz. Saenz believes poetry should play a role in public discourse, and uses his words to tell stories of his childhood on the U.S./Mexican border, as well as illustrate the lives of other individuals and groups of people. His clean and fresh words propel poignant questions. His poetry opens my mind and my eyes to the world.

My life as of... now.

2008-06-21T15:04:00.000-07:00

I think it's only appropriate to re-introduce myself. My life as I knew it has changed in huge ways. Therefore, my posts will probably change, too. So you should be in the know. Life seems to be organized in three chunks:

1) Full-time job. I work with political asylum seekers. They are people in the U.S. asking to stay for fear of returning to their home countries (in comparison to refugees who are outside the U.S. asking to come). I love my work. I get to talk with people from all over the world. Pretty much, if I read of a human rights violation on the BBC, I'll meet someone who was involved in it a few months later. So I do human rights work/immigration law/event planning... it's super great.

2) Bike. I've been biking to work every day. I love it. I would highly recommend it. Minus the huge pot holes marked in yellow paint on the lakeshore trail, it's fantastic.

3) Post-work/bike hours: I've been dancing a lot. and reading a lot. and perusing the bbc and nytimes. and doing fun outdoor Chicago activities.

So my posts will probably be about such matters!! Asi que... bueno. Ya esta. Mi vida. Bienvenido a la vida nueva. jaja.

Cheesy Big-Sister Post

2008-06-21T14:53:00.000-07:00

So I have to be a big sister and post for the success of Emma. And just because I think it's pretty great that she has an interview online!

When I was a senior in high school, well-aware that I wouldn't be able to pay for the school of my dreams, I scoured FastWeb for weird scholarships. One that always popped up was the Duct Tape Prom Dress contest. In my suffocating creativity, I couldn't imagine wearing silver tape to prom, and never gave it a thought.

But my sister did. She spent 6o hours and 20 rolls of duct tape. And made an incredible tux and dress. She made it into the TOP 10 in the country!!! You can go vote for her. Entry #4188. If you have the desire, you can vote from all your different email addresses once a day until June 30!! (She would be forever grateful.)

Em and my brother Sean (such a stud. ha!) were interviewed by our local newspaper and made the front page!

They're so fun. I like them.

Pretty awesome.

2008-06-04T20:45:00.000-07:00

Wow. I had no idea I haven't posted since April 27. That is a LONG time. And so much has happened... wow. I suppose that's what happens -- so much runs past me that I can't articulate anything...

And the inarticulate-ness continues. At least for tonight.

I just wanted to give you a new blog to check out -- its from my friend JM. He's pretty awesome. I mean, anyone Bambi hangs out with is pretty cool (read the blog. you'll understand.)

JM is heading to Burundi... this blog will be amazing to follow as he starts this crazy, unorganized, disjointed attempt at re-integrating female child soldiers back into society.

Go read. Have fun.

I'll post soon...

Random Me-ness

2008-04-27T00:09:00.000-07:00

It's too late to put anything coherent together, but here are some fun thoughts/updates/randomness:

-- This week was the week of Spring -- the trees budded Monday, daffodils Tuesday, tulips Wednesday, magnolias somewhere inbetween...by yesterday the trees were almost all green... I want to tell it all to slow down so I can keep it longer!
-- Feeling loved moment of the week: my favorite professor showed a music video of one of my favorite tango groups in class in honor of me! (Gotan Project listen!)
-- If you want to see a fantastic dance company, check out Alvin Ailey. I went last weekend and it was an aa-mazing experience. They're an 18 person, high-energy modern dance group with ballet and African influences.
-- For great poetry, check out Cesar Vallejo. He's a Peruvian poet from the Vanguardia era. I'm writing a paper on him, and he feeds my soul! His poetry breathes depth and compassion for humanity. He asks the hard questions of religion and God in the face of injustice, and makes beautiful use of language. You can read his stuff online or the book I'm reading of his is called "The Black Heralds."
-- Random countries/human rights violations I've been following lately: kidnappings in Haiti, Tibet activities, Zimbabwe elections and recent raid, inflation in Argentina.
-- Living Creatively Award of the Week goes to my roommate, who is going to work in a candy shop this summer and has a huge accordian on her bed that she's learning to play!

Big stuff on my mind: I graduate in two weeks... I want to learn how to cook Thai... I miss being in nature... I keep having teary moments thinking of not living with my roommate of 4 years... I heard Kevin Sites speak and it was super intense (author of In the Hot Zone -- check it out!)... I daydream about being able to read whatever I want after finals! The list of books will be posted...