Living Life One Day at a Time

Hospice

2018-09-18T23:11:00.001-07:00

I guess I haven't really made this information public, but I guess I had better before... ooh, what do I put here?... before it's too late? That seems so dramatic, and yet that's the fact of the matter. Death is dramatic, dying is not so much, or at least not usually. My husband is dying. I'm getting ahead of myself here though, so let me start at his last ER visit.

Several weeks ago Dean woke up in the middle of the night with a bleed from his tumor. To you it might just look like a bad bloody nose that just won't stop. He had had 5 bleeds in 6 weeks- one after every chemo treatment for the last three treatments. The first of these most recent bleeds (he had had two back in Nov and Jan) was bad: white as a sheet when he arrived at the ER, barely alive. This last one didn't start out so bad and I sent him to the hospital under the care of competent EMTs knowing he'd rally and telling him I'd come get him when he was ready to be discharged. And hour and half later, the ER doc called asking when I was coming in because my husband "could be dead in 10 minutes." Of course, I ran (and sped) to be by his side, and when I finally found my husband, to my dismay they had stuffed his nose again (they did this in January), but this time Dean is pretty sure they broke his nose from the inside while packing it. Dean had asked the ER doc to let him die, but as ERs are in the business of saving lives, that's what they did. I knew as soon as I saw Dean, he would have rather died than go through the (debatably unnecessary) packing of his nose again.

Before he went to the ER that morning, Dean had already made the decision to begin hospice care at home. We were going to start making calls that week. Thankfully, now the social worker at the hospital would set it all up. Now there was no question. There would be no more painful procedures for Dean.

Now there are even more difficult calls to make: funeral homes, cemetery. Meanwhile, hospice comes every week. And every week my husband's need for pain meds increases. His discomfort increases. When the nurse asks if we have any questions, I want to ask, "How much longer?" I'm afraid she will have no answer and that she will say "not long" and that she will say something that sounds like too long (I am so conflicted). Somehow I make it through these visits without crying, but inside of me I feel a part of me screaming, groaning, oh how I ache. I break afterwards.

And every night I go to sleep (or to work) with the possibility lingering in the back of my mind, "Will he bleed tonight?"

A little bit about shootings and cancer

2018-02-15T14:16:00.001-08:00

I don't know how to talk to my kids about the risk that they may be murdered at school.

Talking to your kids about the fact that they could be murdered at school is just an awful thing to have to talk about, much like my having to talk to my kids about their dad's terminal diagnosis. There's no easy way about it. But the good news with the schools is that they are LIKELY to get out alive. So I tell my kids to go in prepared and brave. "You watch and you listen. And you tell me ANYTHING that strikes you as weird or disturbing." And if it so be that he or a friend gets called to be with our loved ones in Heaven, then that's something that we can be sad about at that time. But we don't live in fear of it and we don't mourn before it's time. We live life to the fullest while we have it.

We live the same way (or we try) with my husband's diagnosis, though most days he's too ill to live life fully, but we do what we can. But barring any miracles from Heaven, his shooter is coming. We don't know when, or how, just that the doctor has repeatedly assured us (because we just refuse to believe there's no other way out) that the cancer WILL EVENTUALLY take his life.

I have recently and repeatedly found great comfort in these words by Dallin H. Oaks:

"As children of God, knowing of His great love and His ultimate knowledge of what is best for our eternal welfare, we trust in Him. The first principle of the gospel is faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and faith means trust. I felt that trust in a talk my cousin gave at the funeral of a teenage girl who had died of a serious illness. He spoke these words, which first astonished me and then edified me: 'I know it was the will of the Lord that she die. She had good medical care. She was given priesthood blessings. Her name was on the prayer roll in the temple. She was the subject of hundreds of prayers for her restoration to health. And I know that there is enough faith in this family that she would have been healed unless it was the will of the Lord to take her home at this time.' I felt that same trust in the words of the father of another choice girl whose life was taken by cancer in her teen years. He declared,' Our family’s faith is in Jesus Christ and is not dependent on outcomes.' Those teachings ring true to me. We do all that we can for the healing of a loved one, and then we trust in the Lord for the outcome." (https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/04/healing-the-sick?lang=eng)

We can't control the future... not that we shouldn't try to make things better, but fearing the worst does nothing to improve the future. Prepare for the worst, expect the best. It's what Dean has always helped me to do. Still holds true.

Some recent thoughts

2014-07-14T15:17:00.001-07:00

I have been going through some difficult internal battles in the recent past, and I thought maybe returning to my blog might help me to get some things off my chest.

My depression

I finally got on some medication (again) to handle the anxiety and depression that I have allowed to plague me the last year. I think this is probably a temporary thing, but if it needs to be lifelong then so be it. I have felt much better with my anxiety in check and I am not entirely sure I can keep it in check without medication. Time will tell however, and I am open to doing whatever needs to be done. I just know I have been a nicer mom and my brain doesn't race quite as much since I started taking Effexor.

Taking control of my feelings and life

A friend of mine has been helping me with some life coaching. It's kind of a new concept for me and I am a little resistant to some of the ideas, but at the point I started (about the same time I went to see a doc for my depression) I was just desperate enough to try anything. So I have been listening to some recordings by Byron Katie and Heather Madder. I feel truth in the things I have listened to and I am putting into practice believing and living these ideas.

I feel like I have been asleep in my life for a long time now, just allowing events to come and go not really participating in or influencing what happens around me. I am changing that. Problem is I have LOTS of ideas of what I can do, so many in fact that I just get bogged down with ideas and can't move in any specific direction. ALL the goals seem like good ideas, so I give up on one and pick up another and get tired of that one, so I move on to another or I "fail" at one, so I just write them all off.

Last week, my friend (the life coach) told me they really wanted to see some changes this week and that I really had to start working on my goals... it felt like there was an "or else" though they never said anything such. My mind heard an "or else" and responded, "OK, well if you want to play that way, I won't do ANY
THING. That'll show you to give me an ultimatum." To which my smarter mind replied, "That's one of the stupidest things you've ever thought. Cutting off your nose to spite your face: that's what you're thinking of doing. Seriously, you're going to 'show them' by not accomplishing any goals???" So I have been trying to do better though some things have been easier to do than others. Here's my list of goals I am working on this week:

1. Lose 10 lbs. (I only have about 1.6 to go. I was down all the way, but my favorite monthly visitor came to visit and I am up 2 lbs. Next week I will meet this goal and make a new healthy lifestyle goal.)
-- Drink a large glass of water before every meal
-- get 7 hours of sleep

2. Do a Power Hour every day, which consists of scripture study, exercise, gratitude, prayer, positive affirmations, creative planning. (I get at least parts of this done every day.)

3. Listen to an inspiration audio (Right now I am listening to some stuff by Heather Madder.)

4. Write down what I learn (totally counting this and what I have already written above.)

5. Share what I learn (maybe I'll continue to do this right here on my blog that almost no one reads and you can all (LOL "you all") see my progress... we'll see)

6. Take some personal time for reading. (I need to read more books. Right now I am working on Les Miserables. It's forever long, but I am not starting another book till that one is done. Period.)

7. Text my coach on the day's progress.

What I have learned about myself so far on this journey is that I have a LONG ways to go on conquering my thoughts and keeping them positive. But you know what they say, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

I'm walking, people. I'm walking.

Overdone

2011-10-06T19:52:00.000-07:00

Kicked my own behind at the gym today, then took Sadie and Matthew grocery shopping, hurried to get Sadie to school, then tried (in vain) to put groceries away with Matthew. Once I got Matthew down for his nap and after I had a shower, I made 30 chicken enchiladas (2 1/2 pans full) from scratch, shredded lettuce, chopped tomatoes and cubed cantaloupe. I was taking dinner to a friend of mine who just had a baby last week. I got most of the dinner done before Matthew woke from his nap and the kids got home from school. I felt pretty proud. But now, I feel very tired and a bit overdone.

I am glad tomorrow is Friday. Even if Friday's are a bit harder than the other days of the week. But Friday still means the weekend is coming, which is never long enough, but I am trying to be grateful here, folks.

Oh and I still need to blog about my TriathaMOM experience. I am hoping to do that very soon. It was a great experience; I am sure you can't wait to hear all the grueling details.

Triatha-Mom

2011-08-14T18:29:00.000-07:00

Triatha-Mom

I am doing it! I can't believe I am doing it!! But I am really doing it. Every Saturday when I Swim/Bike/Run, I try to envision how fun it will be to cross that finish line. I don't know if I have ever crossed a finish line in my lifetime. Does finishing marching in a parade in Marching Band count?

I still feel SO incredibly out of shape to do a thing like this, but I have a feeling-- at this particular event -- I won't be the only one feeling that way. Already I am thankful for my friends who have pushed me to do this. And I am incredibly thankful for my wonderful husband who had a good talk with me about doing it and how he inspired me to continue in a way that only he can.

A crazy thing happened when I was training yesterday.... I did my swim and bike like normal. After last week, I had decided that I was going to discontinue running and just speed walk the run portion of the race. Well, I started my 35 minute speed walk on the treadmill intending to walk the whole time. Then, as I had increased my speed to 4.0 mph, it happened. I. WANTED. TO. RUN................. I didn't run for long or very fast, but I ran... not because the timer told me to, not because the training schedule said I needed to do so much running. But because I WANTED to. I don't know how much total time I ran (it wasn't much), but I am going to continue to train that way... run when I feel good and when I want to. Who knows? Maybe I'll be able to run (and I mean run) that 5k someday after all.

My New Year's Resolutions (in case you were curious)

2011-01-04T08:09:00.000-08:00

Resolution #1:
I am not going to use the credit cards anymore. It's cash or debit from here on out. I do love my points I get from my Amazon.com card, but I don't really control my spending too well when I use it; so I am giving it up.

Resolution #2:
I will exercise 30 minutes each day six days a week. (As of Jan. 4 in the AM, this has not happened once) Maybe it will happen today! Who knows!

Resolution #3:
I am giving up my diet Pepsi (and diet Coke). I have just been pondering my usage of the substance during the last couple months. I have decided it can't be very good for you... I mean just look at the color. Does it look good for you?

Resolution #4:
I will get up at 6 AM every day but Saturday. I need time to do some of those important things I find myself not having time to do (i.e. showering, praying, studying scriptures, maybe even getting that 30 minutes of exercise in?). This one is also not happening, but I figure it is going to be a gradual process. I am going to work up to it and say that by June I should probably be getting up at 6 AM.

What do you think?

Curing procrastination-- laundry version

2010-12-07T13:04:00.000-08:00

My biggest hurdle today? Laundry. That pile of never-ending, mountainous ruin. I have no problem cleaning the stuff. It's the folding and the putting away that brings the process to a grinding halt. But today I am going to quit procrastinating that which has been sitting there and DO IT!! Laundry, YOU ARE GOING DOWN!!

Pointe Digital GIVEAWAY

2010-11-18T13:02:00.000-08:00

Check it out here: http://pointedigital.blogspot.com/

You can enter; but just be warned, I am going to win. :D

Why I am a Mormon (the short version)

2010-11-08T14:00:00.001-08:00

I was born this way. Haha! No, but seriously. I was born into a family that actively attended church. When I had questions, my parents answered them. As I got older, I had more serious questions, especially when I decided to attend Brigham Young University (a Church-sponsored university). I found answers to my questions, but they weren't really questions that were going to produce testimony-cementing answers.

My first experience with that kind of answer came when I was preparing to enter another country as a missionary. I was about to go and teach people of the veracity of this gospel, but I didn't feel like I could say I "knew" certain things were true. For example, I didn't KNOW Joseph Smith, Jr. saw God the Father and Jesus Christ. If I was going to say "I know," I wanted to be able to say it truthfully. Well, my answer came.... No one can ever take it away from me. It's not a story I tell lightly, so I will not type it out here; but if you want to "know" you can do the same thing I did. Pray, pray and pray some more.

I am also Mormon because I want a forever family. I may not understand all the logistics of it, but my family can be forever because I am striving to live the Gospel of Jesus Christ. He makes it possible.

OMGosh!!! I have followers

2010-10-10T21:37:00.000-07:00

I guess this means I better update my blog more often than yearly. I won't let you down, dear followers.

It's that time of year again

2009-11-30T13:04:00.000-08:00

No not Christmas (well, yes it is that). But M's birthday coming up. He's going to be 8 which is a milestone in so many ways. He's getting baptized, his IEP renewed, becoming a Cub Scout. I don't think I have enjoyed these first few years like I feel like I should have, but I guess I am just trying to take one day at a time. Especially with this precious boy of mine.

With the renewal of his IEP (individual education plan for those not in the know) coming up, I am reminded of how far he has come and also how far he has to go. But I guess we all have a long ways to go in one way or another. One day at a time... like I said. He has never been diagnosed, but M has a disorder on the Autism spectrum known as Pervasive Development Delay- Not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS). His school psychologist wants to label him as autistic for educational purposes, and I am not sure how I feel about that. I am going to have to talk to my friend who is also a school psychologist and see what she thinks. I am probably just freaking out for no reason, which is often the case... I mean I am pregnant and crazy at the moment so pointless freaking out is pretty much the norm lately. It makes me feel better to type this stuff out, so you might be hearing more about this in the future. Here is what I posted to a poor mother on Facebook who feels alone with her daughter in this strange world of PDD-NOS:

"Hi Stephanie, my son has not been diagnosed with PDD-NOS (yet), but he has seen a child psychologist once and that is where you need to get a diagnosis. My son is 8 and still has some speech and social issues, though he has come a very long way from when he first saw the psych 5 years ago. He told me it didn't really make a difference if we got the diagnosis at that point because we were already doing what he needed to improve (i.e. having him in early childhood education and the school district aware of it). Now he is in regular second grade and receives help with speech and social issues.

It is a VERY hard thing to deal with emotionally as a parent. I have shed many tears over my sweet son and how to help him. I feel far from understanding what I need to do and just overwhelmed over the whole thing. Mostly, I feel these things worst when his IEP comes due (this week) and I have to be reminded by professionals once again how much help he still requires. However, I think no matter what the diagnosis or label we place upon our children, they are still the children God gave us to care for and we can rely on His help and guidance... and if you don't believe in God, then just know this girl is your daughter and NOBODY on Earth knows her as well as you do and you probably know best deep down inside what is best for her.

If there are any other questions you have, feel free to post them here. I'll check this group often now that I know it's here. You're not alone!"

Update, sort of...

2009-01-20T08:54:00.000-08:00

I only have a few minutes till Max and Ruby is over, but I am reminded every time I give someone my blog address that I should actually update it.

We're doing good. Haha!! What an update! D dislikes his job very much, and I dislike his schedule (as do the kids... mostly M). But we're persevering, and every time we make a mortgage payment, we're grateful he has the job.

I still struggle at times with anxiety and depression. I have found that if I get enough sleep and keep my anxiety under control the depression is kept at bay. So these are my priorities at the moment. Next on the list (as always) is organizing/cleaning the house. The kids, of course, are always a top priority. However, I compare too much; so I think I need to stop looking at other people's blogs and profiles on facebook. SIGH!! We all know I won't do that though. The computer is my addiction.

The weight loss thing has halted for the moment, though I do have occasional bursts of motivation. Of course, I'll keep you updated if anything miraculous should occur.

Triathlete?

2008-12-30T18:19:00.001-08:00

I swam 20 laps tonight at the gym in about an hour. That's a whopping 500 meters or 0.277777778 miles!!! I am so proud of me. And it was nice because the kids got to go to the gym to (and get out of the house for once this winter) and play in the playroom. Everyone wins!

I really would like to start training for a triathlon to take place this summer. My brother thinks I am crazy, but we have already established that I am; so let's not beat the dead horse, shall we? I have "wanted" to do a triathlon for several years now, but between babies, moving (yes, I know that was 2 years ago) and my aforementioned craziness, I have not done it. I just think it would be so cool to say, "I am a triathlete" or "I have done a triathlon."

I believe this could be one of my life goals. Some day I need to write down all such goals; I have a bunch of them.

So anyways, I really enjoy swimming and biking. I hate running, so that will be the last part I train for. But the benefits are great. There's this chick at the gym who does triathlons. She's gorgeous; granted, she is Brazilian, so she has that in her favor. But I was talking to her one day and she was like, "I know I am crazy, but I really want to do an Ironman someday." AN IRONMAN??? Those are like impossibly long triathlons. She's my idol currently.

On a side note, there is this adorable young man who I would love to set one of my gals up with. Send me a note if you're interested. Here is what little I know about him (I haven't gotten his name yet): He looks to be about 21 or 22, I run into him often while swimming, he has done some triathlons, he's completely bald but it fits him (think of the bald guys you see on the Olympic swim team), he is in the Air Force ROTC at BYU and graduates next year (I think), and he really wants to go to Afghanistan when he graduates. Doesn't he sound dreamy? Brittany, I'll have to get a height check on him, he may be a keeper. One thing I don't know about him is if he is married or not... it hasn't come up in the conversations we have had (they've mostly been about swimming and triathons); however, I haven't noticed a ring.

Random thoughts and counting blessings

2008-12-16T11:27:00.000-08:00

I am much happier today (and in general the past few days) than I was the other day when I unfortunately posted my woes for all to see. But you know, I have never been the kind of person who can keep up a perfect facade (not sure where the squiggly thingy goes on that word). I can't keep a perfect blog with videos, photos and daily updates... well maybe I could but it's not that important to me so I won't. So folks even though you're probably not expecting perfection from me, I expect it from myself. However, on this blog I will be posting what I am. But probably a whole lot of what I hope to become.

OK so that was totally random and not what I intended to post at all.

So on to the blessings...

I posted on FB that I am happy today for many reasons. Here are some of them: Dean doesn't have to work on Christmas or Christmas Eve. That makes me really happy because I was afraid with this new job that EVERYTHING would suck. Actually, as far as all that goes I am actually doing pretty well. Last night, not only did the kids get fed, but they were in bed by 8:30 PM. Let's face it, that almost NEVER happened when Dean was home every night. Not that it was his fault... it wasn't; but I guess we just always waited around for the other to initiate the bedtime process. Not that I like initiating, but let me tell you... I AM MOTIVATED when I am by myself with them. Also, I got them to bed without once yelling at them. So I am also happy because the past couple days I am feeling like a halfway decent mother. Though we could use some clean dishes at the moment.

I was going to write more about what I am happy about, but it's 12:45 PM and I need to get my babies lunch made. Suffice it to say LIFE IS GOOD (even though it's not perfect).

Keeping it Real

2008-12-09T17:45:00.000-08:00

I am kind of sad tonight. But first an update... Dean found a job, and we are really grateful because although it is not the ideal job, it will provide enough for us to stay in our home while still allowing him to stay in school. The downside is that he will be gone five nights a week till 10:30 PM. This means I will be in charge of dinner and bedtime-- two things with which he helped me greatly. I say he helped me, but really I just issued orders and he brought them to pass. I know some will say to count my blessings, I have it pretty good, some of the pioneers husbands died on the trail yada yada yada etc, etc. And don't get me wrong, I do count my blessings, but I am a selfish person and knowing all the blessings I enjoy doesn't help me miss him less.

Random Thoughts

2008-11-12T07:34:00.000-08:00

Yesterday the whole fam (sans Michael; he was at school) went to Temple Square. It was a good time. S & S had fun running around and climbing the stairs at the temple. I got a picture, but D currently has the camera, so I can't upload it. D is working on a paper (which is actually a lesson plan kind of paper) about temple symbolism and he needs to include visual aides... hence the photos.

This morning I am again supposed to be on my way to the gym. My fabulous friend is back from Mexico and can take them Wednesday mornings again so I can have a break. WOOHOO!! Problem is Seth is still asleep (again). I swear that boy is ruining my workout regimen because if I can find any excuse not to work out I usually will. Even though I really do LOVE a good workout. This particular excuse is not really a small one though because if I wake him up and try to quickly get him ready, I will find myself with a whining, yelling, uncooperative little boy on my hands... ALL DAY. So I wait and tell myself that I will go as soon as he gets up, because after all I don't need reservations today (like I did Monday, when I also didn't go for same reason). But Monday I was going to go at about 10:30 when the popular morning classes were over and I wouldn't need a reservation as there would be space in the playroom.................. I should probably just wake him up now.

Did the grass grow???

2008-11-07T11:03:00.000-08:00

Yes it did!!

Here is Dean with a few of our scouts... we teach the Wolves!

A couple of our scout boys just LOVE Sadie. Don't know why, she's 2 they're 8, interesting LOL.

Heaven Help the Future Homemaker

2008-11-07T09:51:00.000-08:00

A dish towel in the flour, you ask? Well, my little Sadie just LOVES to clean the floor. Just never thought she'd do it with flour.

I realized I have much to be thankful for after my friends husband asked if she had used water too. OH MY!! Thank goodness, no!!

The culprit declined her photo op at the scene of the crime but consented to this one.

How can you get mad at that face?

Testing...

2008-09-09T10:02:00.000-07:00

Tried cleaning off the lens... did it work?

It appears so. Therefore, let me explain. This my friends, is my-- or rather the kids' playroom. The towels on the floor are my attempt to start picking things up and take them downstairs. One towel is for dishes... yeah, what happened to the no-food-upstairs rule??? The other towel is for dirty clothes. WHY do I not just dress my kids downstairs!!!?? Pink splotch on right side of window, Sadie's artistic creativity... the girls in this family suffer from artistic differences... her art is everywhere else too. Child #3 in photo is my friends child... you know the one who I mentioned swapping with... tomorrow is my free day and I am doing the gym then lunch with Meg. Ahh sweet, temporary freedom!!

Watching the Grass Grow

2008-09-09T09:13:00.000-07:00

Yep sure looks like the kids might have messed up my lens. GAH!! Is nothing safe? Anywho, here is the grass growing.

Memory Lane

2008-09-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

I got this off of a friends blog and as she said I also lack the creative ability to come up with something like this on my own, so please play along.

MEMORY LANE
This will be fun! This is just too fun to pass up. Here are the directions:

1. As a comment on my blog, leave one memory that you and I had together. It doesn't matter if you knew me a little or a lot, anything you remember! I guess good or bad, but be nice!!!!!!!

2. Next, re-post these instructions on your blog and see how many people leave a memory about you. If you don't want to play on your blog, or if you don't have a blog, I'll leave my memory of you in my comments.

Backyard is started!!!

2008-09-05T11:43:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, our backyard finally got hydro-seeded! YAY! For those of you who have no idea what I am talking about... we had grass seed mixed with a bunch of green fibrous goo laid in our backyard, so in a couple weeks the kids can go out and play on the grass. Before this time they can really only play on the trampoline (which we got because our kids never got outside). They could play in the dirt, but I really discourage this because I really only like to bathe them Saturday nights. OK I bathe them more, but I try to as seldom as possible and playing out in the dirt just sounds like a lot more work for ME!

My mom and sis-in-law were here again last night and stayed the night sans niece who is now up at college. Poor thing thinks she was just dumped in the middle of nowhere... well, she is in the middle of nowhere, but she was hardly dumped. Mom and sis-in-law kindly took everything into her dorm for her instead of leaving it on the curb. No worries, ABA... you are LOVED!!

I am off to take pics of hydro-seeding so you can all educate yourselves. Will post them in a bit!!

Not Quite Ready to Show Photos, but...

2008-09-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

As of today, I have lost 3 lbs. I know it's not much but it's a start. Eventually, I will post photos (took two today in my gym clothes). But I would like to post them, when I have some visible improvement to show, even if it's the teeniest amount.

Last night, my mom, sis-in-law and niece stayed with us on their way to take niece to college in Idaho. We got some really cute pics and I will post them when I have them. Unfortunately none were taken on my camera and by the time we got it the photo opp was gone... Sadie was done.

So folks, lots of photos coming... keep checking in!!

Keep us in your prayers, please!

2008-09-01T14:58:00.000-07:00

Whoever might read this might already know that my sweet hubby has been out of a job for a month now. However, he has had little jobs here and there he has done, so we have been able to stay afloat financially. It has been stressful, but I have handled it amazingly well thus far. Well, today we discovered his dream job has opened up at the Dept. of Transportation. Ok, it's not really his dream job, but it's as close as were going to get while he is still in school.

So anyone who reads this please keep us in your prayers, as we felt we have been guided by an Unseen Hand to this place in our lives. And we have faith that it hasn't been just our imaginations.

I may be learning!

2008-08-27T11:40:00.000-07:00

This morning was heaven! I got up, got on my gym clothes, got Michael up, dressed, and off to school, got the little ones dressed and took them to my friends house!!! Then I went to the gym by myself and WalMart by myself and didn't even lose any precious time with my husband. Usually, when I go to the store by myself it is because he is watching them. For some reason, it has taken me nearly 7 years to realize how important good friends are, especially when you are a mother of young children. By the way, I'll be taking her kids on Friday, and we will be doing this for the unforeseeable future. We're each going to have a kid-free morning each week. It will be FABULOUS!

So maybe I can keep my sanity through these next several years. And I am sure my friends and I will adapt to our changing situations, because we'll need friends after our children are not so young, right?