NATURALISTIC! UNCANNY! MARVELOUS!

EMBRACE OF THE VAMPIRE (1995)

2026-08-10T15:09:43.767-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, sociological*

The first time I watched this softcore erotic-horror item, I found it largely formless, popular only because of TV-star Alyssa Milano put her goods on display. Now, even though parts of EMBRACE are as derivative as a Harlequin romance, the flick feels a bit like a semi-complete jigsaw puzzle.

Though most of the film takes place on a 1990s college campus, a prologue establishes the centuries-old bonafides of The Vampire (Martin Kemp). The bloodsucker never uses a name as such, though centuries ago his human self was "a nobleman." He meets a lover, also unnamed, surrounded by very banal romantic imagery (woman riding on a white charger to meet her swain, reclining in a glade strewn with red blossoms). However, after the woman, a royal maid, has sex with the man, she departs-- and out of the forest come three naked vamp-girls. They perform one un-vampiric ritual-- placing around the guy's neck a chain with an ankh attached-- before gang-fanging him and making him a bloodsucker too. Why do forest-vamps venerate ankhs? That's one of the puzzle pieces, though much later a minor character comments that the Egyptian symbol represents "sexual powers." So in the EMBRACE universe vampires are nothing but carnal sexual desire.

The scene shifts to that nineties college, where The Vampire plots to seduce Charlotte (Milano), the first reincarnation of the nameless maid the vamp once loved. The script can't be bothered to say why the near-immortal nobleman didn't make his still-living love into one of his kind; that would distract from the main scenario. Charlotte is due to turn 18 in three days, which presents the Vampire with a ticking clock. He wants to turn her while she's still virginal, and she's apparently keeping her boyfriend Chris at a distance because she has some ambivalence about having sex before 18. There's a brief remark about Charlotte having been raised at a nunnery, but the root of her ambivalence to sex is not explored. The fact that Charlotte's father is not mentioned might suggest, in a more nuanced movie, that Charlotte suffers from a father-complex, which the Vampire is going to exacerbate-- though again, too many missing puzzle-pieces to render speculation fruitful.

The Vampire also has some rules: he can save himself from an "endless sleep" if he turns this reincarnation of a lost love (which in itself makes the heroine more of a daughter-figure). But he can't attack her; he can only persuade by sending her hallucinatory images. Oh, and an ankh, which Charlotte starts wearing in place of a cross that Chris gave his reluctant paramour. Though the Vampire's mostly seen on his own, he knows some fellow bloodsuckers, as he sends a seductress named Marika (Jennifer Tilly) to cause Chris to sway from the course of true love. He doesn't give up on love, but Charlotte gets more in touch with her Inner Tart.

In the end, true love does win, though none of the three players in the triangle are interesting (while the support-cast is worse). Kemp's been critiqued for an underwhelming performance, but he really had almost nothing to work with, given this ragtag conception of a vampire. Charlotte's not much better, but she does function as the story's eminent presence: sort of a combination of the two females from Stoker's DRACULA. She's sensible, wait-for-marriage Mina getting in touch with her lubricious Lucy. Of course most of the sex-imagery is banal too, but one tends to expect that in DTV offerings.

SUPERMANSION SEASON TWO (2017)

2026-08-08T14:19:01.510-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological, sociological*

The season starts with the mansion and Robobot rebuilt, and the reference in the last episode to "new candidates" for the League of Freedom is blown off in one joke. Season Two does reach out to the former member (and Wonder Woman analogue) Zenith, a celestial goddess who shares the body of a mortal talk-show host Oprah W-- I mean, Portia Jones. The fugitive Injustice Club figures into more plots this season. but the only ones worth mentioning are Devizo, Groaner. and Lex Lightning, still full of passionate hate for Titanium Rex but no longer inclined to morph into a male version of herself. Curiously, though she was ostensibly raised by Devizo, there's nearly no sense that the two of them have ever had a father-daughter relationship.

VIRTUAL REALITY BLUES (G)-- Cooch misses Brad, so when Ranger tells her Brad's in heaven, she wants to become a Christian to join him, but she gets hinky about baptismal immersion. When Saturn learns Groaner's alive, he crushes hard on his nemesis, resulting in many embarrassing moments. More importantly for ongoing plotlines, Devizo steals a computer file containing Rex's greatest secret, and when Rex descends into a VR world to recover the file, Devizo and Lex are waiting for him. To Rex's good fortune, a rendezvous between Saturn and Groaner crosses his path in VR and a goofy ime is had by all.

SCHOOL ME ONCE-- Rex plots to get Zenith back on the team, and that leads the League to "go back to school," i.e., the university of which Ranger and Saturn are alums. Saturn's old frat is ashamed of him, while Cooch is enlisted to be the school mascot. The upshot is that Portia does rejoin the League, but mainly to help the heroes upgrade their tarnished reputation.

THE LEAGUE OF CHEESEDOM-- Portia's first move is to use the League's images to merchandize a pizza place, "the League of Cheesedom," on the advice of her boytoy Courtney. Ranger becomes attracted to Portia when she scolds him and Saturn gets Groaner to perform on stage. Menace arises when Robobot, who's taken on the persona of a rebellious teenager, reprograms a band of animatronic robots, who promptly go berserk. Best line:

ROBOBOT: "I thought I'd found a family, but they ended up being bloodthirsty monsters."

REX: "That's pretty much every family."

I DON'T EVEN HAVE TO USE MY J.K.-- With Portia's encouragement, Oscar winning actor J.K. Simmons floats the idea of a Titanium Rex movie, but only if Rex is willing to reveal his deepest secrets. It's all a Devizo plot, which goes a lot better than Lex's short-lived takeover of the Injustice Club. Lex has her first meeting with Rex since he shot her in the face, and it's an ambivalent encounter.

BLACK TO THE FUTURE (G)-- This one's a knowing satire of time-travel stories like X-MEN's "Days of Future Past." A future-version of Black Saturn changes places with the current version and he warns that his era will be turned into a hellscape by Gamora. the spawn of Zenith and American Ranger. The League must prevent the two of them from procreating in the current era. There's a brief scene showing Zenith's paradisical all-female domain. Good payoffs on all plotlines this time.

BLAZARMAGGEDON (G)-- The villain Blazar was devolved to a monkey earlier, but it turns out that Blazar was an alien herald of a Galactus-sized humanoid, Asteros, who plans to destroy Earth. For once Ranger gets the best plotline, as he goes space-mad at the meaninglessness of the cosmos.

THE GURMAN FILES (G)-- Two sex-heavy plotlines diverge here. In one, Ranger wants his wife to sign their divorce papers, and to that end he and Portia seek out Gloria at a fetish-convention, leading to Dueling Dominatrixes. In the other, Black Saturn tries to go solo (albeit with Courtney as a sidekick) to solve the mystery of kidnapped 1970s models. Rex, who is to some extent a father-substitute for Saturn, falls under suspicion because he knew the models in his youth. With the League's help, Saturn finds the kidnapper and his victims, but also that one of the models is his own mother, and that Rex boned her numerous times.

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT LIPLOR (G)-- Rex's big secret is revealed to the public and the League-- that he came to the surface looking for new worlds for his people, the Subtopians, to conquer. Rex let his people think him dead so that he could use his powers to protect humans (and to chase tail). But now Rex's older brother Dax reaches the surface with his rock-monster slave. Dax is disgusted that Rex didn't use his beacon to summon an invasion-force, so he takes the initiative. Rex and the freed slave defeat Dax, but now the government deems Rex an enemy agent. To protect his friends, Rex pretends complicity and flees.

LOGS DAY JOURNEY INTO NIGHT (G)-- Rex takes the identity of a lumberjack to conceal himself but still finds himself forced to battle injustice. The other heroes have been forbidden to crusade, but it turns out that Dax managed to send a message to his people. Robobot deduces that because Lex stole the anti-magno rod from the mansion, the League must make common cause with the Club. Unfortunately, Devizo has the rod now, and he seeks out Rex. In addition, the Subtopians reach the surface.

TITANIUM LEX (G)-- Within a short space of time, the Subtopians conquer Storm City while holding off all counterattacks from the government. Both the League and the Club are in hiding, and Devizo brings Rex back to the city for his own reasons. Devizo shows off the anti-magno rod and announces that they need more of the element to repel the invaders. Despite lots of bungling by the heroes and villains, Lex acquires the needed ordnance-- and though she plans to leave Rex to the mercies of his evil brother, she can't resist returning to save her dad, killing her Uncle Dax. Rex almost sacrifices himself in the stratagem that banishes the Subtopians, but Lex rescues him again, and agrees to join the League, but under her new name, Titanium Lex. But more trouble for Season 3 looms, as Doctor Devizo is put in charge of the heroes' future.

WAR ON CHRISTMAS-- Cooch, who believes in Santa Claus, releases from captivity an evil imp, Skibumpers (a clear analogue of Mxyzptlk). The elf grants Cooch's wish to make Santa real, forcing the League to cope with the chaos. This and one other special were filmed before Season Two, so Portia and Courtney don't appear, though on streaming the specials are lumped in with the second season.

DRAG ME TO HALLOWEEN-- In this Halloween offering, Ranger is almost seduced by a sexy ghost, Robobot is "possessed" by malware, and Cooch uncovers a malevolent dentist. The best plot involves Saturn and Groaner trying to score at a Halloween party, with more homoeroticism resulting.

SUPERMANSION SEASON ONE (2015)

2026-08-07T12:18:36.663-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological, sociological*

At first glance SUPERMANSION, a stop-motion animation series launched on the defunct service Crackle, might seem to be in exactly the same vein as Cartoon Network's acidulous ROBOT CHICKEN. Both of MANSION's creators had CHICKEN associations, with Matthew Senreich billed as the CHICKEN co-creator while Zeb Wells worked on the CN program in assorted creative capacities. Further, CHICKEN frequently used superhero-themed blackout gags that revealed the writers' geek-level knowledge of superhero comics, while MANSION is obviously about nothing but superheroes. However, I consider CHICKEN an irony and MANSION a comedy, and I define the difference here as being the degree to which the characters' world is effed up.

MANSION's main focus is to bombard the viewer with sexy/slapsticky jokes about the six superheroes, the League of Freedom, who watch over Storm City and/or the world. The humor's crude but inventive, and most episodes are at least fair in mythicity (I've used "G" to denote the ones rising to the "good" level). The League members all derive from well-traveled genre tropes, to wit:

TITANIUM REX-- the League's leader and the "Superman" of the group, though he arrived in Storm City not from outer space but from a civilization beneath the surface. He came to the surface world as a young man but as he's old now, implicitly he's been a superhero for some forty years.

COOCH-- a former housecat evolved into a feline humanoid. Drawn from various heroes with animal-like characteristics, like both Spider-Man and Spider-Woman.

BRAD-- A mountainous crusader who, like many other heroes who are enhanced through chemistry, only has power as long as he takes steroids.

BLACK SATURN-- A thorough parody of Batman, Saturn is conceited and stupid, sounds like a whiny baby most of the time, and has recurring encounters with a Joker-like villain, "the Groaner," which relationship eventually turns homoerotic.

ROBOBOT-- A spoof of android heroes like Vision and Red Tornado, constantly questioning his identity due to his artificial origins. In Season One he converts to Judaism and takes the name Jewbot.

AMERICAN EAGLE-- A super-patriotic WWII hero in the mold of Captain America, and one who, like the Captain, got unnaturally preserved for decades until reaching modern times. This is the weakest character, used almost exclusively to assert that his patriotism is infused with racial and religious chauvinism.

GROANER'S WILD-- Rex's irresponsible teammates have abused the League's government budget so badly that a governmental bean-counter, Sgt Agony, is assigned to rein the heroes. Saturn's dialogue with the Groaner establishes the hero's pathetic need for the validation of an "arch nemesis."

THEY SHOOT OMEGA PETS, DON'T THEY? -- The League comes across what seem to be amiable super-pets, but the name "Omega" suggests their nefarious nature.

LET'S TALK ABOUT REX-- Despite Rex's many powers, including a titanium hand that can morph into various weapons, his battle with the villain Blazar makes the public wonder if the hero isn't too old for superheroing. Despite many age-jokes, Rex does get a little validation from his team of goofballs.

A SHOP IN THE DARK-- Rex invites the Defense Secretary for dinner at the Mansion to wangle a higher budget from the government. Rex thinks the deal's sealed because as a teen the Secretary was the kid sidekick of American Ranger, but of course everything goes wrong with the dinner. At least when it's revealed that the Secretary is a gay man, his relationship with Ranger remains platonic.

PUSS IN BOOKS-- The terminally distracted Cooch must pass a college-level test to stay in the League.

LEX (G)-- A hot young costumed woman, Lex Lightning, shows up at the Mansion asking for Rex, and the geriatric bladesman assumes it's a groupie. Instead she shows him her titanium hand and claims to be the offspring of one of his many hookups. Since Rex doesn't know what the name "Lex" means in another super-universe, he tries to bond with Lex, endeavoring to teach her how to fly-- though he also runs out on her, showing his paternal reluctance.

A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S REAM-- Jewbot experiments with his feminine side, Saturn goes clubbing, and three Leaguers get trapped by an evil gym membership.

BRAD MEDICINE-- The company that makes Brad's steroids cuts him off, causing him to shrink back to his original size. His friends try to get him back on the sauce.

UNFORTUNATE SON-- Lex gets a look at Saturn's home life, where the latter is always seeking the approval of his uptight parents, who prefer his more practical-minded younger brother Dudley. Jewbot, however, learns that Dudley is a drug dealer.

BABES IN THE WOODS (G)-- Apparently sympathetic to Saturn, Lex plans to have sex with him on a League camping-trip. Saturn is willing but has fears of Rex punishing him for crossing a line. Rex has his own secret, revealing to Ranger that he Rex has been sleeping with Ranger's 80-something wife. Ranger unfriends Rex but still comes to the team's aid against killer hillbillies.

THE INCONCEIVABLE ESCAPE OF DR DEVIZO (G)-- Doctor Devizo, imprisoned in a Mansion cell, informs Rex that he plans to escape. He almost does, only to be thwarted by Lex Lightning, thus making the other Leaguers look bad. Ranger, having tasked his elderly wife with her infidelity, plans to commit his own transgression, but his plans go astray.

LEXANITY (G)-- Rex won't let Lex join the League, so when another superhero team is formed by a billionaire, she accepts that offer of membership. The highlight is Saturn acting the fool as he tries tp get into the new group-- until the ending, when Jewbot learns a secret about Lex and she chops off his head.

LEX AS A WEAPON (G)-- The Big Reveals: Lex is the bisexual offspring of Rex and one of his old villainess-flames, and since childhood Lex was raised to hate Rex by Devizo. Lex releases the evil doctor and his Injustice Club from their cells and incapacitates all the Leaguers. Devizo plans to unleash the Mansion's nuclear missiles on the world, but Lex becomes frustrated at her inability to torment Saturn with his having slept with a bisexual. She assigns Groaner to torture Saturn, but when Saturn proves to be the only hero who appreciates Groaner's villainy, Groaner releases Saturn, who frees his friends. Rex and Lex have a brief but intense battle on both physical and psychological levels. after which Lex escapes, albeit with her eyes (temporarily) burned out. Further, Brad ends up sacrificing his life to save the world. This probably stands as the show's best episode, dependent though it is in other continuity.

IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER, OF THE SON, AND OF THE COLT (1971)

2026-08-06T14:20:14.208-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS

My review of CREEPING DEATH mentioned that writer-director Mario Bianchi had a long cinematic career, but not that most of it was in sex-films. However, according to IMDB his first two directorial efforts were "weird westerns." Neither of the oaters is all that great, but the first one is a little better-- and since Bianchi didn't contribute to COLT's script as he did to that of DEATH, I might be tempted to fault his writing-- if I didn't know Bianchi had also contributed to the script of Riccardo Freda's flawed but interesting TRAGIC CEREMONY.

The script for COLT, in contrast to that of DEATH, might be unfocused. but it's better in terms of giving the viewer lots of cowpoke creepiness. The film starts as a stagecoach is held up by bandits dressed as saloon girls, who are under the command of outlaw Wace Cassidy (expatriate American actor Craig Hill). Two passengers Mister Pick and his daughter Toni (Francisco Sanz, Agata Lys) get special attention, with Pick forced to watch Cassidy rape Toni.

Four years later (though Bianchi takes his sweet time in establishing that fact) as the action moves to (and thereafter stays in) the cow-town where Sheriff Bill Nolan (also Hill) hangs his hat. He's been sheriff for some time, married to one Clarissa, but no one's noticed his uncanny resemblance to Cassidy, and when a wanted poster for Cassidy comes Nolan's way, he conceals it. Is the noble-seeming sheriff leading a double life?

Somehow I doubt Bianchi really expected viewers to buy an idea he barely bothered to sell, so he rather quickly reveals that Nolan and Cassidy are twins, and Nolan changed his name to distance himself from his evil brother. But Cassidy isn't the main menace here. It just so happens that it's Halloween (did anyone in the Old West celebrate the haunted holiday?) and that makes it easier for a mysterious, leather-masked plotter to move about. Some reviewers have seen "The Masked Thief" (as an alternate title for the film calls him) as an early slasher/giallo type. But though the Thief kills a couple of people, he has more in common with the masked masterminds of serials. He manipulates Nolan and Cassidy into almost killing each other-- I *think* in order to rip off a bank-- but when Nolan unmasks the Thief after a lively battle, I doubt anyone will care, any more than I did, when the mastermind's ID is revealed.

Bianchi blows a lot of potentially good subplots, as when Pick and Toni come to town to accuse the sheriff of Toni's rape and then largely disappear from the story. One might expect Clarissa to have a scene or two of emotional torment, but that expectation would be wrong. One reviewer liked Hill's Cassidy, but I thought he was too comically eee-vil, while Nolan was more suitably heroic. Still, COLT-- the title I've chosen to use here, just because it sounds cool despite meaning next to nothing-- is never dull, which is more than I could say about CREEPING DEATH.

EROTIC GHOST STORY 3 (1992)

2026-08-02T15:05:39.191-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, sociological*

This was the final official film in this franchise, and since the Big Bad of the first two films went to heaven at the end of EGS #2, it behooved the new raconteurs to devise a new way of combining spirits with Category III sexcapades. It's a shame the filmmakers didn't apply themselves a bit more, since the setup here was a little more promising than those of the first to movies.

Male and female leads Chu and Susu (Ching-wah Cheung, Chik King-man) are quickly established. The two medieval-era youths have been betrothed to one another by Chu's father, but though Susu is more than willing, Chu is not. She follows Chu to an inn and is almost raped because the martial skills of Susu are only so-so. Chu rescues Susu and they later seek shelter at a deserted temple. There they meet a man the size of a candlewick, which is apparently the reason he sports the name "Wick." Once Wick grows to man-size, the duo learns that he's a Buddhist monk (and the movie's comedy relief).

An hour or so later, viewers see why Chu doesn't want to get married, when a painting comes to life and shows the young fellow three gorgeous dancing-girls. Evidently Chu is so eager to play the field, he's willing to enter a supernatural otherworld to get his ashes hauled. Even more improbably, Wick helps Chu do so.

Althiugh Chu does have great sex with the sexy ghost I-meng (Pauline Chan), his allurement is a plot by the otherworld's queen "Ladyship" (Chi Jing Wen). After having sex Chu visits the queen's court, and in bursts a male Chinese god (possibly) who rapes two of the females. Chu's too drunk to fight, but a little later he invades the god's domicile and kills him. But then Ladyship reveals that she made herself look like the god so that Chu would seek vengeance. With the god dead, Ladyship can do whatever she likes to mortals, which she demonstrates by raping the young man.

However, I-meng has fallen for her handsome bedmate, and both Susu and Wick are endeavoring to return Chu to the mortal world. Amusingly, at one point Susu and Wick succeed in getting Chu back to the temple, but Wick tells Susu that the only way Chu cam recover from sickness is if Susu has sex with his unconscious form. Whatever else one says about EGS 3, its script supports Equal Opportunity for Female Rapists. In due course, Chu, Susu and I-meng (with some "inside help" from Wick) destroy the evil queen. Susu is wounded and dies, but thanks to some double-talk from the monk, somehow I-meng becomes human and goes back to the living world for lots more sex.

When I started the film I was almost sure Chu and Susu would be the eminent heroes, but Chu and I-meng turned out to be "the pair whose love transcends death itself," a la CHINESE GHOST STORY. EGS 3 isn't a great film, even of its kind. But its characters are reasonably well delineated and the scenes of wacky comedy don't overwhelm the story.

MAN ON THE SPYING TRAPEZE (1966)

2026-08-02T00:56:13.394-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

This Eurospy cheapie has only two minor things going for it: a couple of familiar actors and a memorable if meaningless English-language title. FWIW, it seems to be the only English translation of a film by Spanish director Juan de Orduna.

American agent Jerry Land (Wayde Preston of the TV western COLT .45) gets to traipse around various Euro-locales seeking to find a missing microfilm and the spy ring that stole it. He has various punch-ups with enemy spies-- for once, independent operators rather than loyalists to particular nations-- and romances a pretty brunette played by Helga Sommerfeld. Preston's decent in the fight-scenes but doesn't project much cool, despite a colleague playfully calling him "James Bond."

The sole metaphenomenal content here appears when Land is captured by thugs led by Noe (DR SATAN AND BLACK MAGIC) Murayama, who attempts to make the agent talk by squeezing his head with metal rods.

SMALLVILLE SEASON 3: 20-22 (2004)

2026-07-28T15:49:22.250-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, psychological*

"Talisman" provides a belated linkage back to the ancestral Kawache story of Naman and Sageeth, implicitly a good and an evil Kryptonian who came to Earth in primeval times. Kawache historian Willowbrook, first seen in "Skinwalker," believes not only that the two man-gods have been reborn in modern times, but also that Clark is the "good god" Naman. Yet Willowbrook keeps in contact with Lionel in order to monitor the cave-research, and one day the prof brings to the cave a student named Jeremiah, also a tribal scholar. Jeremiah uncovers a metal knife and touching it both gives the young man Kryptonian powers and the delusion that he is Naman, who is destined to slay Sageeth.

Clark, aware that Jeremiah is likely to believe he should kill Lionel, draws the possessed man to the Kent farm, hoping to incapacitate the threat with kryptonite. But this time the rock has no effect on an Earthman, possibly because Jeremiah possesses the Kryptonian dagger, with which he stabs Clark. The heroic teen only survives because the Kents show up, and the power Jor-El instilled in Jonathan heals Clark. Recovering, both Clark and Lex show up on the scene when the fake Naman tries to slay Lionel. Neither Lionel or Lex behold Clark battle Jeremiah, but when Jeremiah loses both the knife and his powers (after which he's never seen again), both Luthors try to seize the weapon. But it dissolves, as was destined to occur if Sageeth touched the blade. Is one of these Earthmen "Naman's great enemy?"

"Forsaken" centers on a running subplot from the last few episodes: that of Lana deciding to study art in Paris. (Was she artistically inclined before this arc?) However, though Clark hopes to dissuade her from leaving Smallville by finally revealing his Big Secret, Emily Dinsmore gets to Lana first. While in Lionel's custody since the events of "Accelerate," the clone-girl has aged roughly nine years in eleven months, and she uses her speed-powers to escape captivity. She kills her scientist-"father" and imprisons Lana in the Talon in the belief that they can be best friends forever. Clark puts the skids on the super-speed girl with the clever use of a water tower, but the situation also causes Clark to change his mind about the revelation. The final season episode will make it doubtful that any of the regulars will return, but "Forsaken" has Pete Ross forsake Smallville a little earlier, only returning for one much later guest appearance in Season Seven.

The title "Covenant" refers to the bargain Jonathan made with the AI: that, in exchange for empowering the farmer during "Exile," Jonathan would facilitate Clark returning to Jor-El, possibly to be molded into some sort of world-conqueror. "Covenant " focuses on the devil calling in his marker-- though Jor-El's methods are bizarre, given that "he" hasn't made an explicit demand of Jonathan. A "supergirl" named Kara shows up on the farm, claiming to be from Krypton and offering Clark the chance to be united with his birth mother, of whom he had a fragmentary recollection in "Memoria." The elder Kents don't buy Kara's tale, but Clark's been through the sturm-and-drang mill, and Kara contributes to the youth's desire for "exile" (AGAIN?) by making Lex seem a betrayer. Clark follows Kara to a rendezvous, but Jonathan shows up with evidence that Kara is either a dead Earth-girl revived by Jor-El or a simulation thereof. Still, a threat to Jonathan's life accomplishes the same end, and Clark enters the AI's dimensional doorway, while most of the rest of the cast lies in peril from the vengeance of Lionel Luthor. Who will return in Season Four? Stay tuned.

SMALLVILLE SEASON 3: 17-19 (2004)

2026-07-27T14:03:58.668-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: (1) *good*, (2,3) *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, psychological*

Finally, in "Legacy," Season Three wanders back to the still-mysterious designs of the Jor-El AI, left unaddressed since "Exile." In a few previous episodes the writers suggested that Jonathan's health has suffered from Jor-El's "power boost," and Clark becomes concerned enough that he takes the Krypton-Key to the Kawache Caves, trying to draw out the AI for a heart-to-heart. But the key's only response is to send forth a ray that carves a new aperture in the wall with the Kryptonian symbols. Critically-ill Lionel, though, gets alerted by his agents re: Clark's cave-trespass, and somehow arrives in time to behold Clark and the "new keyhole," but not the key in Clark's possession.

Lionel doesn't reference the Adam Knight failure, but clearly he ups his investigation of the Kents, even sending bogus FBI agents to the farm, because he seeks a reprieve. He also meets with Virgil Swann (Christopher Reeve in his final performance), and the enigmatic genius reveals nothing, though he lends Lionel some conditional aid. This motivates Clark to confront Swann, thus also providing the show's last encounter between "Superman" and "Superboy." Jonathan makes an effort to end Lionel's threat, and Clark must intervene. It's a solid "mythology" episode, though I suspect the many SMALLVILLE mysteries don't have a payoff much better than LOST.

"Truth" turns out better than its premise suggests. Demon journalist Chloe inhales an experimental gas and acquires the power to make almost anyone answer her questions with complete truthfulness. Clark alone can resist her power, but Chloe becomes drunk with her new abilities. Naturally most of the episode concerns characters managing to dance around the Big Reveal, though Chloe does play dice with the devil when she tries to blackmail Lionel.

"Memoria" puts aside one Luthor's obsession for another's, as Lionel's struggle to avert death takes a back seat to Lex's quest for his repressed Belle Reve memories. To that end, he accepts treatment by Doctor Garner, one of Smallville's many resident mad scientists, who stimulates buried memories via a machine powered by-- what else-- meteor rocks. Both Lionel and Clark don't want Lex's memories to return, but while Lionel just puts pressure on Garner, Clark beards the rogue researcher in his den. Garner sticks Clark in the memory-machine, offering the teen's memories to willing buyer Lionel, but even after kryptonite weakening Clark's body generates enough feedback to destroy the machine. Lex then arrives in time to save Clark's life without learning the Big Secret. Yet Garner's process does give Lex closure on a trauma dating back to the show's first season: the belief that he killed his baby brother Julian. It's a good payoff for a so-so story.

TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (2009)

2026-07-26T19:21:20.628-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, sociological*

REVENGE received a lot of brickbats in its day, with one critic calling it "incomprehensible"-- which I for one find incomprehensible. It's just a formulaic sequel seeking to keep its audience's attention with even more giant-robot action and silly humor than the previous film. And it's hard to see any other logical avenue for such "high concept" filmmakers. For me the biggest attraction of the 2007 film was to see how its craftsmen attempted to make a kids' cartoon into a general-audience feature film-- which was an act that could only be offered once.

So, the plot. Despite Sam Witwicky having saved the Earth by (temporarily) destroying Megatron, he's attempting to live an ordinary life by going off to college, even though this separates him from girlfriend Mikaela. However, his contact with a shard of the "All Spark" causes him to experience visions-- which, in a circuitous manner, will lead him and various allies to discover a new threat to Earth's survival. But before they can do so, Megaton is resurrected while the Autobots' noble leader Optimus Prime is slain. Yet once the audience learns that only a Prime can defeat "The Fallen," a world-destroying Decepticon who's constructed as an "Autobot Devil"-- can Optimus' revival be far behind?

Most of REVENGE is comfortably predictable and nothing more. The most unlikely development in my view was that the writers brought back Seymour Simmons (John Turturro) from the 2007 film. I described the character as a "minor dick-villain," but here he's a more rounded (if still goony) character who adds some variety to the human allies of the Autobots.

LEGEND OF THE SEEKER, SEASON ONE (2008-09)

2026-07-26T14:48:38.568-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, sociological*

As I have only read the first of Terry Goodkind's "Seeker" books, WIZARD'S FIRST RULE, I can't speak to the overall quality of the series, or whether it was a crying shame that Sam Raimi's teleseries adaptation didn't get more than two seasons. But the first novel offers in part a theme opposed to most otherworldly Tolkienian fantasies. one that might boil down to, "Power of all kinds-- not just One-Ring power-- corrupts the good and the bad alike." The dramatic consequences of this theme are that even the three pure-hearted heroes are innately capable of harming one another, even with the best of intentions.

Though most of the 22 episodes of LEGEND's first season don't adapt incidents from the first book, the overall outlines remain the same. Large portions of Goodkind's unnamed fantasy-verse have been conquered by the military might of tyrannical Darken Rahl, whose long-range goal is to control all life through assorted sorcerous stratagems. However, it's been prophecized that a rare crusader for justice, the Seeker, is destined to kill Darken Rahl. Young Richard Cypher (Craig Horner) is raised without knowing that he is the Seeker, but soon he's drafted to fulfill his destiny by two other heroes. One is elderly wizard Zed (Bruce Spence), who arranged Richard's concealment from hostile forces. The other, Kahlan (Bridget Regan), belongs to a line of priestesses, the Mother Confessors, and she becomes vital to Richard's mission-- although she threatens it as well, as the two fall in love, causing distractions from their purpose.

Some storylines are definitely derived from Goodkind, as with an arc involving the heroes trying to keep Rahl from obtaining the Boxes of Orden, whose power can corrupt even the Seeker. Other episodes are built around "done in one" problems. Yet even the simpler episodes, despite comedy relief, often reflect grim realities about war and death. This may be a reason why LEGEND didn't catch on like Raimi's more famous fantasy-serials, HERCULES and XENA.

Only one episode merits a rating of high mythicity, and that is "Denna," a faithful adaptation of a long sequence from WIZARD'S FIRST RULE. In this sequence, Richard is captured by Denna (Jessica Marais), who attempts to break his will via torture. Like Kahlan, Denna belongs to an all-female priestesshood, but where Kahlan's order compels obedience through the emotion of love, Denna's order uses pain. To some, this might sound like Goodkind importing the Marquise de Sade into a Tolkienian fantasy-setting. Yet because Goodkind structured his world so scrupulously, the concept is both dramatically and mythopoeically compelling.

One additional point of merit is that the showrunners did contrive a "wrapup" in the final episode of Season One, in case they didn't get another order of episodes. This meant a lot of rewrites to make Season Two come about-- but, going on memory, the game was indubitably worth the candle.

SMALLVILLE SEASON 3: 13-16 (2004)

2026-07-25T19:53:52.886-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: (1,4) *fair*, (2,3) *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, psychological*

The "middle episodes" of Season 3 continue to prove unimpressive.

"Velocity" turns out better than it should, given a horribly contrived script. Pete Ross suddenly acquires a jones for illegal drag-racing, and he receives sponsorship from Smallville hoodlum Jason Dante, whose name is certainly disproportionate to his significance as a character. Dante pressures Pete to lose a race for purposes of putting in a fix, and when Pete wins instead, Dante threatens Pete's family. To end Dante's menace without violence, squeaky-clean Clark must use his powers to steal from Lex, his other best bud, to come up with a "purse" that Dante will accept in a racing challenge, the goal being to cancel Pete's debt. Clark plans to fry Dante's engine during the race, but Dante is able to stuff the hero in his trunk because the hood's car runs on-- meteor rocks! Still, Clark and Pete survive the race while Dante dies in a blazing "inferno"-- though Clark resents Pete's rash actions. Welling and Jones have their best dramatic interaction here, somewhat making up for the banality of the B-plot, in which Lex gets involved in the Frankenstein experiment of Adam Knight.

OBSESSION-- Clark is forced to reveal his powers in front of a stranger, but because Alicia Baker is a meteor-freak, she assumes his powers stem from the same source. Clark, not dating anyone even though Lana's rejected Adam, becomes interested in Alicia, but she turns out to be, as Chloe puts it, the "Fatal Attraction" type. Aside from hinting at Clark's libido more than do most episodes, and an irrelevant subplot about Alicia injuring her father for unclear reasons, this one's a wash, though a final scene reveals that Lionel is responsible for the experiment involving Adam Knight. Alicia appears next season as a Belle Reve patient.

RESURRECTION-- The A-story's awful, concerning an aggrieved fellow who takes the Smallville hospital hostage using a "human bomb" laced with kryptonite. The episode's more worthwhile in having Lex discover that Adam has actually been revived from death by a project under the control of Lionel. The Kents know that the revival serum was made from a sample of Clark's blood, and it's also revealed that Lionel sent Adam to Smallville High to spy on Clark.

CRISIS-- Thanks to a "time anomaly," this time Clark gets to work backwards to figure when and where Lana's life will fall into jeopardy (again). This culminates the Adam Knight plotline given that he dies menacing Lana (who still needs saving though she does perform a couple of martial stunts). The episode is stronger for yet another joust between Lex and Lionel as Lex tries to use his job at Luthorcorp to ferret out the nature of the revival experiment. Lionel's motive this time involves his own mortality, though since he remains in the show for four more seasons, the elder Luthor is in no danger here.

TRANSFORMERS (2007)

2026-07-23T19:52:07.063-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, sociological*

Though I've never quit watching TV cartoons no matter how old I got, certain shows just never got on my radar, and the many iterations of TRANSFORMERS, as well as their imitators, are among them. And yet, looking at a list of the top ten highest-grossing films for 2007, the Michael Bay TRANSFORMERS kicks the ass of all others on the list (mostly sequels of one sort or another), except 300-- and I don't usually feel any great desire to rewatch 300.

I'm not a huge fan of Bay, though I think his critical drubbings are unjustified and overdone. As for the writing-team on the first two TRANSFORMERS movies, Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman, their track record ranges from mediocre to the tone-deaf awfulness of the TREK films of the same era. Yet somehow these talents took a very simple kids' cartoon of the 1970s and gave it tons of Spielbergian brio. In fact, the 2007 TRANSFORMERS is a better Spielberg movie than most Spielberg films of the period.

Further, the actors playing the young leads-- Shia LeBeouf as Sam Witwicky and Megan Fox as Mikaela Banes-- turned in lively performances far more appealing than their usual "flavor of the month" offerings. Together they comprise the venerable trope "Nerdy guy impresses hot girl," but their cutesy romance works because it's kept peripheral to the central mystery: who are these shape-changing robot ETs and why are they are hiding on Earth in the forms of trucks and planes?

TRANSFORMERS also benefits from a canny juggling of patriotism (the movie came out six years after 9-11) and skepticism. An early scene depicts American airplanes forcing a mysterious helicopter to land on their military base-- only to have the 'copter transform into a mammoth Decepticon robot who trashes the military's best weapons like a pocket Godzilla. At the same time, only one data analyst, one Maggie, is able to figure out that the attacker isn't the spawn of Russia or China, while everyone else runs around without a clue. A super-secret military organization is shown to be responsible for salting away the Whatsit that both the noble Autobots and base Deccepticons seek, and I admired that late in the movie the script introduced a minor dick-villain for Sam and Mikaela to humiliate.

Conversely, the script is ingenious in finding ways to make the Autobots likeable without over-explaining their goodness, as I think the cartoon did. The writers accomplished this by channeling Disney's LOVE BUG, having the Autobot Bumblebee morph into a car for Sam. Bumblebee does this to learn information from Sam that will lead the hero-robots to their goal. But the teen and the alien robot bond, partly through Bumblebee's inability to speak articulately, making him seem more like a faltering child than a spying ET. Later, Autobot leader Optimus Prime will provide all the needed exposition in the honeyed tones of Peter Cullen, but Bumblebee's more basic appeal sets the pace.

There are comedic bits that don't work, but they're fewer than the ones that do. Moreover, even though I was never a TRANSFORMERS fan, I appreciate that Bay and his team treated the adventure-theme straight, and one line from Sam to Mikaela speaks to the youthful need to trespass boundaries:

"Fifty years from now, don't you wanna be able to say you had the guts to get in the car?"

DAUGHTER OF DON Q (1946)

2026-07-22T16:18:18.080-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

Without getting into my phenomenality-categories first this time, the greatest significance of this well-wrought Republic chapterplay is that it's the last of a half dozen sound serials to star, or co-star, a female with combative abilities. This leaves out assorted works in which female support-characters may be able to shoot a little, or one later serial that substantially re-uses most of its action-sequences from one of the earlier six.

DAUGHTER's title was probably a toss-off reference to the Douglas Fairbanks Sr silent movie DON Q SON OF ZORRO, but only because the two narratives share adventurous content, not any story elements-- and both may have been distantly indebted to Cervantes' DON QUIXOTE, even though that story was all about invalidating tales of derring-do. Story-wise, DAUGHTER sounds like some of the silent serials in which some evildoer sought to deprive a rightful heiress of her inheritance. I don't know how many of those old serials showed the heiress fighting off thugs with jui-jitsu, though.

In contrast to the majority of serials, the primary evildoer, one Manning, exists just to get the ball rolling. He learns of the existence of a land grant that was bequeathed to assorted parties, but Manning's the only one who knows of it. Thus, if he hires a gang of thugs to kill off the other heirs, while making the deaths look accidental, Manning claims all the property. However, the lion's share of villainy falls to the hired killers, led by Roy Barcroft of PURPLE MONSTER fame. The murderers succeed in knocking off one or two heirs, but their scheme goes awry when they go after the judo-skilled Dolores Quintero (Adrian Booth). One might think that Manning's plan to make all the deaths look accidental is ruined as soon as Dolores and her reporter-pal Cliff (Kirk Alyn) tell the cops of the organized attempt(s) on Dolores' life. But maybe Barcroft's just one of those guys who never read his Santayana.

Alyn and Booth (the latter under the former billing Lorna Gray) already had assorted serial roles under their belts, with Gray/Booth still renowned as lead villain Vultura in PERILS OF NYOKA, while Alyn's big roles as Superman and Blackhawk were yet to come. But the leads play off one another well and are given good dialogue and bracing action-scenes. The uncanny phenomenality only appears in two of the assassins' attempts to "covertly" knock off Dolores. In one chapter, the thugs take the captured heroine to a closed fishing-shop and set Dolores up to get impaled by a harpoon-- supposedly the contrivance of the Mafia or something. In another chapter, one of the thugs dons a museum's suit-of-armor and attacks Cliff-- and the armored crook is somehow able to defy Cliff's pistol, though in real life medieval armor could not repel bullets. In both of these peculiar stratagems-- which are weird enough to fall into the uncanny domain-- the villains don't create their own odd weapons, but just "find" them. Still, there are some serials in which costumed villains steal their only super-weapons from good-hearted inventors and put those powers to evil usage-- and if I'm going to credit those malcontents with possession of a death-ray as part of their repertoire, then I guess I can also credit Manning's mooks as having bulletproof armor in their arsenal.

LOVE AND DEATH IN THE GARDEN OF THE GODS (1972)

2026-07-21T15:51:56.767-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *good*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

All of the giallo contributions of director/writer Sauro Scavolini took place within the space of about two years, while both before and after that 1971-72 period Scavolini plied his trade in other genres. But since that small sample of works includes one of my ten best giallos, YOUR VICE IS A LOCKED ROOM, Scavolini's "farewell to giallos" merits some sustained attention.

Structurally, GARDEN isn't as well-constructed as the best of this subgenre. Like a lot of "old dark house mysteries," the film's eminent character is dead when the main story starts, and the audience must follow an amateur detective sussing out the unhappy lives of rich siblings Azzurra (Erika Blanc) and Manfredi (Peter Lee Lawrence).

The "detective," an unnamed professor of ornithology, rents the sumptuous estate where Azzurra and Manfredi were raised. The professor knows nothing of the former occupants of the estate: he only intends to study the bird life in the adjacent forest. However, in said forest the bird-fancier discovers a pile of wadded-up audiotape. The professor untangles and cleans up the tape, which he's improbably able to replay on a tape machine.

The tapes reveal the history of Azzurra as she confides in her psychiatrist regarding her twisted history with Manfredi. Both were raised without the oversight of their parents, so that they started sleeping together as kids, which grew into a sexual relationship. Later Azzurra marries another man, and Manfredi takes up with a "free spirit" named Viola, but neither of them is able to let the other sibling go. For instance, the tapes reveal to the professor that after Azzura married, Manfredi left the estate for a while, only to return with Viola, attempting (without much success) to maintain an art studio. In keeping with the title, the forbidden love of the siblings culminates in death, and the surviving sibling even extends his menace to the amateur detective.

GARDEN's pace is slow, possibly to take full advantage of the opulent setting of mansion and vernal paradise. The "love and death" trope isn't uniformly maintained throughout the professor's discoveries, but I assign high-mythicity to GARDEN less because of its rambling plot than for Scavolini's formulation of the transgressive couple, an "Adam and Eve" who exist not to propagate a new future but to be destroyed by their past. To be sure, the script (by Scavolini and a woman with no other IMDB credits) backs off on the incest-theme. Azzurra, who often manipulates Manfredi to keep him at her beck and call, cruelly tells him that they were never brother and sister: that he was a boy adopted by the family after Azzura's actual brother perished in childbirth. But this revelation seems random, since it doesn't hold any consequences for the plot-- and besides, if Azzurra's parents wanted to preserve the illusion of a viable male heir, why didn't either of them stick around to administer the estate and make sure that the two phony siblings made good marriages? The unnamed parents are more like a pair of otiose divinities who just dump their progeny into a beautiful paradise, just to watch them destroy one another.

Oddly, the trope of "perilous psycho" applies to both siblings, and though Manfredi is the one who becomes a murderer, Azzurra's Sadean influence seems far more profound and pernicious.

CREEPING DEATH (1972)

2026-07-21T14:20:17.913-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

CREEPING DEATH is certainly a better title for this unwieldy mix of spaghetti western and giallo than KILL THE POKER PLAYER. The odd thing about this failed fusion is that many of the more violent spaghettis sometimes show elements in common with equally violent giallos. However, westerns in general have a harder time dealing with "slow burn suspense"-- and despite DEATH's quota of saloon brawls, that seems to have been the intent of director/co-writer Mario Bianci, a prolific filmmaker though most of his works have not been translated into English.

Like many spaghettis DEATH begins with a double cross and centers upon a hunt for hidden riches. However, two-fisted federal agent John Pinkerton (Robert Woods) lacks the usual cynical motive of the spaghetti fortune-seeker. He seeks to locate a cache of bank money stolen by three outlaws, one of whom kills the other two. Pinkerton centers his investigation on a particular town where one or two persons have been killed by poisonous snakes. The same town plays host to a herpetologist, suggesting that some malcontent in the populace decided to weaponize the reptiles to eliminate witnesses.

The snakes, and the "bizarre crimes" for which they're used, aren't all that important to the story until the climax, and Pinkerton's detective work seems at best random. DEATH is generally boring and wastes the lovely Nieves Navarro in a purely decorative role. A better meld of western and murder-mystery appears in 1974's A KNIFE FOR THE LADIES.

THE SHADOW (1994)

2026-07-19T15:10:11.605-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, psychological*

Back in 1994 B.I. (Before Internet), I disliked THE SHADOW because I assumed screenwriter David Koepp had been overly influenced by Howard Chaykin's 1986 graphic novel BLOOD AND JUDGMENT. I assumed this simply because the Chaykin work was the first time the moldy-oldie pulp hero had made a tidy profit since the heyday of his magazine and radio show. Of course I knew that the major influence upon the Shadow's revival was the mega-success of the 1989 BATMAN, though in fairness, raconteurs like Sam Raimi attempted to adapt the pulp avenger a few years prior to the Burton film. Still, Koepp was hired to produce a new script in 1990, so Burton's achievement probably did light a fire under the Universal rights-holders.

If Koepp read the Chaykin comic, the only influence would have been indirect. Chaykin took the violent but righteous crusader and made him into a 1980s dickhead. Koepp first shows the hero as a 1930s dickhead but has him get somewhat more righteous over time, which is certainly an improvement. Thirty-something Caucasian-American Lamont Cranston (Alec Baldwin) somehow becomes a druglord in Tibet, but despite his many crimes, a spiritual teacher, Tulku, decides that Cranston can be rather forcefully redeemed into becoming a champion of justice back in his own country. Koepp's script conveniently vaults past the difficult process of turning a hardened gangster into a fighter against evil-- hence, one who "knows what evil lurks in the hearts of men"-- and in no time, Cranston is back in the States, posing as a worthless playboy while battling crime as The Shadow, armed with twin automatics and "the power to cloud men's minds."

However, just as Cranston stuck his nose into Asia, an Asian villain follows the hero to New York and decides to challenge the Shadow on his own ground. Shiwan Khan (John Lone) was a later pupil of Tulku, so Khan has all of The Shadow's psychic powers, plus a small army of armored Asians who believe Khan the descendant of the Mongol conqueror Genghis. Khan has decided to conquer the US, albeit in a more devious manner than his ancestor, and he courteously invites Cranston, whose previous villainy Khan admired, to join Khan's new jeremiad. Naturally the hero refuses, so battle lines are drawn.

Though SHADOW never delivers the thrill-ride Koepp promises, he arguably improves on one element of the hero's mythology. I've had little direct experience with the support character Margo Lane, either in radio plays or in magazine stories, but she seems to vary between being either a nuisance or a hard-bitten professional. Koepp makes Margo (Penelope Ann Miller) a socialite who just happens to possess natural psychic gifts, and who eventually twigs to the fact that Lamont Cranston has a shadowy secret. She also gets involved with Khan's plot in that the evildoers seeks to suborn her father's scientific services.

Koepp's script is a little pokey at times, and Russell Mulcahy's direction is never more than adequate, so SHADOW didn't score with 1994 audiences. Miller's fun whenever she's on screen, and John Lone renders his unscrupulous Mongol warlord with such a light touch, it's hard to imagine any 1990s filmgoer being offended by the "Asian Invasion" trope. Baldwin looks decent in costume, but he never masters "the Shadow Laugh," and Koepp doesn't make Cranstone's dedication to the side of virtue compelling, leaving the actor little to work with. Tim Curry has a pleasant support-role, but Jerry Goldsmith's imitation of Danny Elfman is too bombastic by half. Still, many fans still like this iteration of the Master of Darkness, so that's no small achievement.

LUPIN III: MISSED BY A DOLLAR (2000)

2026-07-17T20:00:16.648-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

MISSED BY A DOLLAR was the last Lupin TV special to be animated in the traditional fashion. More importantly, though, DOLLAR is much less dominated by the tropes of wild fantasy found in many Lupin stories of the period. Here the master thief and his gang oppose an evil financial cabal that seeks to manipulate world events, and the only metaphenomenal elements of DOLLAR are the rather low-level tricks Lupin uses to bamboozle Zenigata.

As usual the Lupin gang only oppose greater evils as a means of maintaining their freedom to commit generally harmless crimes. In fact, in the opening sequence the master thief begins the adventure in an apparently legal venue: participating in a New York auction (albeit in disguise) for a rare ring. However, another party outbids Lupin by a mere dollar, and on top of that, Zenigata arrives with a squad of New York cops to seize the master criminal. Never daunted, Lupin simply evades the cops and steals the ring, However, an enforcer working for the mystery bidder steals back the ring and tries to kill Lupin in the bargain. Of course all Lupin viewers know that this means war.

Lupin briefs his comrades in crime on his plans: the ring can guide one to a fabulous brooch, which in turn confers incredible luck upon its possessor. It's not entirely clear why Lupin wants the brooch. He natters a bit about a Lupin Empire, but somehow he convinces Jigen and Goemon that the brooch will lead to a big payoff. Fujiko isn't interested because she's become fascinated with the world of high finance, though she changes her tune when reversals decimate her wealth. Fujiko's attempt to transition from crook to high financier proves the reverse of Lupin's new enemy: Cynthia Craymov, already the head of a banking empire. Her father was the deposed tyrant of a small country, so Cynthia wants to rule an empire founded in high finance. She believes implicitly in the brooch's power to convey luck, though said power is never unilaterally proven. Her main enforcer is an ex-KGB killer with a penchant for knife-fighting, but Cynthia's cool resolve makes her the main opponent.

There's a subplot in which Lupin appears to fall to his death, in such a way that both his friends and Zenigata are convinced he's finished. The sequence is good for a laugh as Zenigata mourns his foe (or at least the impossibility of ever accomplishing his monomaniacal goal). There are some decent but workmanlike action-sequences, with Fujiko getting just one femme-formidable scene in which she shoots a guy menacing Goemon. In the end Cynthia's crimes are exposed and the brooch ends up in good hands, though for a change all four of the super-crooks end up temporarily broke. There are some acidulous comments on the financial mentality, but anyone wanting a critique of capitalism would need to look elsewhere.

TAOISM DRUNKARD (1984)

2026-07-13T15:09:32.167-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical*

You know, sometimes one image sums up a film better than any number of words. And in the case of the TAOISM DRUNKARD, also known as DRUNKEN WU TANG-- the image of a demon watermelon with teeth and limbs says it all about this "chopwacky," the directing debut of Yuen Cheung-Yan.

Most Hong Kong comedies are just assemblages of goofy jokes around loose plotlines, but DRUNKARD makes the ACES GO PLACES series look like the best of the Marx Brothers. I tip my hat to the stalwart online reviewers who did their best to figure who was fighting who and for what reasons, but I have nothing to add to their efforts. Yuen is clearly just tossing out anything that he thinks will make his audience laugh, and occasionally he's fairly inventive, as with an opening fight between main villain Old Devil (Yuen Shun-Yi) and his virtuous brother, where the latter wears attire able to sprout metal spikes. Old Devil enlists the aid of a female martial artist, Starry Devil (Hilda Liu), who obeys the evildoer because he fed her a potion that can make her age to death. Somehow, director Yuen's character, a weird drunken priest, gets into conflict with Old Devil, and Yuen is aided by a younger fighter and a couple of unmarried sisters. One's enjoyment of this farrago depends totally on how much one likes the wacky stunts Yuen devises.

The most interesting thing here is that the director and the Old Devil actor are part of a filmmaking clan which also includes Yuen Woo-ping, who garnered some Hollywood fame for his fight-choreography work. One review avers that Woo-ping might have helped out on DRUNKARD, but that in no way improves the movie.

ONE ARMED SWORDSWOMAN (1972)

2026-07-10T12:20:45.196-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *good*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *psychological*

A lot of chopsockies emulated the internationally successful ONE ARMED SWORDSMAN, so frankly I wasn't expecting anything much of this five-years-later Taiwanese knockoff. I have to hold the original producers guiltless of a screwup in the English credits: "Ching-Ching Chang als [sic] ONE ARMED SWORDSWOMAN," but I was unfamiliar with any other IMDB credits for the writer-director Sheng-en Chen. Similarly, I didn't know starring diva Chang or any of the other names, so I tend to assume the whole cast was Taiwanese, even if they were attempting to mimic the look of a Hong Kong Shaw film.

SWORDSWOMAN takes the opposite tack from SWORDSMAN in the characterization department. Whereas the viewer learns a lot about the family background of the 1967 protagonist, Chang's character Pan Yi Fung starts out as a one-dimensional "knight errant," who apparently has no other goal in life but to wander about killing ruthless bandits with her sword. Her puissance is displayed in an early scene where four bandits snare her with ropes, after which Pan frees herself and slays them with one smooth move. Then a traveling stranger comes along, praising her skills, which pleases her inordinately. More bandits appear to challenge Pan, and the stranger lends his skills to help her. But the stranger doesn't happen to kill any of the bandits and instead deals Pan a wound in her arm with a poisoned sword. The traveler reveals that he's really one of the bandit gang, and that Pan will soon perish of the poison. The noble fighter tries to take many of her foes with her, but she's clearly losing strength. But then another famous kung fu knight happens along and spirits Pan away.

The heroine's apparently able to direct her rescuer to Pan's estate, where she lives with one female servant. The savior is one Chen Peng Fei, known as the Black Dragon due to his attire: all-black robes and a hat with a face-shrouding black veil. Chen tells Pan and the servant that the only way to save Pan's life is to amputate her poisoned arm. Pan agrees to the operation, after which Chen takes his leave. Three years later, Pan has re-trained herself to compensate for her missing arm, but she's also formed an intense need to see the Dragon again. The terse script does not expound on her motives, but actress Chang conveys an immense feeling of loneliness.

She meets her black-garbed ally, who unmasks before her and sweet-talks her with homilies about the loner nature of martial artists. They have offscreen sex, but in the morning, Chen sneaks away like a dog. Pan follows him, and Chen insults her by offering her a valuable pearl for services rendered. Pan is heartbroken and returns home. Strangely, her maid advises Pan that she might still be united with the man she loves, and Pan decides to look for Chen once more, in case, I don't know, he's changed his mind about being a bastard.

Now, experienced filmgoers may foresee some shenanigans, given that Pan never saw Chen without his mask the first time, and anyone can wear an all-concealing black costume. But even if a viewer suspects trickery, Pan's next experience is unsettling, for suddenly she starts running into more black-garbed men, who, when she unmasks them, are not Chen. Then she kills-- or apparently kills-- a fifth Man in Black, after she's heard a young woman call him "Chen." Jealous, she attacks and kills the man, only to be told he's blind. She's so aggrieved that she almost lets a vengeful mob murder her. But once again, the Black Dragon saves Pan and takes her back home. There he unmasks, showing her that he's not the man to whom she surrendered herself.

For some reason Chen and Pan fake their deaths to throw off the bandit gang, but the head guy-- Lee Ming-Tse, the fellow who deceived Pan-- sees through the charade. I don't know why Chen, divested of his costume, makes a solo attack on Lee and his goons in the bandit fortress, but the sortie ends with Chen retreating back to Pan's house, half-blinded by spears that eject streams of acid (!) Of course, the reason Chen must be sidelined is because Pan is the star, and to her goes the honor of confronting Lee and his gang, atop a mountain this time. Perhaps needless to say, Pan triumphs over all adversaries, though Lee does get in a mean jab about their romantic time together. And so the film ends with Pan alone amid her fallen foes, though in an earlier scene, the door's left open for a possible union of the two crusaders.

Chang provides a good range of emotions here, though everyone else is strictly Saturday-morning serial, and she does well in the battle scenes. As I commented in my SWORDSMAN review, the mundane removal of an arm doesn't generate an uncanny vibe for the "freakish flesh" trope, but Pan performs assorted superlative feats, particularly for being able to hurl twigs hard enough to pierce an enemy's throat.

I'm sure that neither Sheng-en Chen or anyone else thought they were making a masterpiece. In the copy on TUBI, the final scene between Chen and Pan is spoiled by a sudden cut, presumably because some censor thought the romantic interlude too racy. Yet though I've seen dozens of flicks featuring kung-fu knights, even the few that address the disadvantages of a justice-seeking life, like CROUCHING TIGER HIDDEN DRAGON, tend to underplay the emotional cost of the martial life. That cost is evident in the ease with which the disguised bandit gets Pan to turn her back on him, and her strange obsession with the real Chen, who relates to her only as patient to doctor, residing at her manor for a month just to preserve her life. Though the villain Lee never explains how he formulated his plan to sleep with her and then gaslight her, it's likely that he figured out how emotionally vulnerable Pan was, precisely because she'd tried to live a totally righteous life and found, like many others, that virtue being the reward for virtue was worse than no reward at all.

FLYER AND MAGIC SWORD (1970)

2026-07-06T18:35:13.587-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *uncanny*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *adventure*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

When I only saw one online description of this Hong Kong-Thailand co-production, and said summary said it involves rival clans fighting over a salt mine, I suspected that the title was a fantasy-fakeout. And yes, there's no magic sword and no one even does "trampoline flying."

The hero is Wai Chin (billed as "Nai Mi," possibly to obscur,e the actor's Thai heritage), and since childhood he's been in love with Lan Choo (Fan Ling), daughter of Tien-Long (Dean Shek of ENTER THE DRAGON fame). I don't know why Tien-Long won't let them marry, but he seems totally preoccupied with the aforementioned salt mine. His rival for the mine-- which is barely seen-- is called "Wu Tang" in the streaming dub. But while Wu Tang is a bastard, Tien-Long might be worse. The film's opening scene-- and it's the film's best scene-- starts with Wu Tang and his soldiers attacking Tien-long's house. Outnumbered, Tien-Long, Lan Choo, and their retainers flee to a bolt-hole, but Wu Tang sets the house afire, so that the bolt-hole fills with smoke. Three retainers try to escape, and Tien-Long kills them-- moments before the patriarch changes his mind and allows the rest of his coterie to get out.

After that, FLYER is just a melange of combat-scenes and wistful romantic interludes between Chin and Choo. Only one "magical" implement appears, in that one of Chin's opponents wields a "boomerang claw-weapon." Most of the fighting is sword-fu, with Choo getting in hers only in the first scene, but nothing's memorable in that department. One might call this a reversal of ROMEO AND JULIET, where the two lovers survive and the patriarchal clans (no mothers are seen) destroy one another.

STAR TREK: PICARD (SEASON TWO, 2022)

2026-07-06T17:17:56.985-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *cosmological, psychological, sociological*

Well, the experiment cost about 8 hours I'll never get back, but after watching Season Two of PICARD, I confirmed for my own satisfaction that only the participation of showrunner Michael Chabon resulted in a superior storyline for Season One. To be sure, he claimed prior to his departure that he was heavily involved in the Season Two storyline, so that season would have remained bad had he stayed. But Alex Kurtzman and his fellow custodians of the TREK franchise are primarily responsible for plunging TREK back into the valley of mediocrity. And while the original NEXTGEN only occasionally resorted to banal political posturing, Season Two is far ghastlier in that respect than the worst of the old series-- though I suppose those who agree with Season Two's politics would feel differently.

There's no way I can give Season Two as witty a summation as someone did for STAR TREK: THE MOTION PICTURE, which some wag re-christened "Where Nomad Has Gone Before." Nevertheless, Two really is "Where 'Mirror Mirror' and 'City on the Edge of Forever' have gone before." Some time after the events of Season One, Picard and his New Zoo Crew-- more or les including the VOYAGER alum Seven of Nine-- investigate a space-anomaly. It turns out to be a new manifestation of the Borg, which starts to assimilate the ship. A sudden transition then brings Picard into contact with another old foe, the mercurial Q (John deLancie in what I assume is a finale-narrative for the character).

Q then introduces Picard and Crew to a changed version of their enlightened Federation: a space-empire founded primarily in xenophobia. Oddly, though Wikipedia reported some anti-Trump rhetoric from Patrick Stewart during promotion of Season One, Season Two seems to be where all the real ultraliberal cant ended up. There's no attempt to explore how the super-xenophobic empire came to be, for Q reveals that he was the empire's creator by virtue of messing with time. His challenge to Picard: go back in time and make everything better.

I'm not going to dilate on all the 21st-century rambles of the Picard Crew, except to note two politically charged developments. One involves Seven of Nine's visit to the Isle of Lesbos, a state of affairs that lesbian Trekkers stumped for back during the original VOYAGER run. The other deals with a despicable subplot about anti-ICE rhetoric that anticipates the ultraliberal fanaticism about protecting illegal aliens seen in 2025. Neither development has much to do with the main plotline.

Anyway, the Crew eventually does find its "patient zero" and erases the rogue timeline. In the course of events, somehow the comedy-relief Agnes Jurati (Alison Pill) becomes the new Borg Queen of the future, but this, like Q's time-puzzle, all works out for the best. I'm not feeling too sanguine about the concluding Season Three.

Will Wheaton makes an appearance as Wesley Crusher, so this season also registers as having crossover-status.

CONSTANTINE-- THE SERIES (2014-15)

2026-07-06T12:10:32.069-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, psychological*

I won't discourse on the story behind DC's John Constantine, having already provided considerable data in my review of the 2005 CONSTANTINE. For purposes of reviewing this one-season rendition of comics' most famous exorcist, one only needs to know that the edgy Englishman is living in the U.S. for some reason (to make him more appealing to American audiences, I imagine) and that he seeks to "exorcise" his personal demons of guilt by helping other people escape from supernatural infestations. In this endeavor he gets aid from a few other kindred spirits, like Zed Martin (another comics-character, played by Angelica Celaya). A heavenly angel named Manny (Harold Perrineau) hangs around dispensing mostly useless pearls of wisdom.

All thirteen episodes of CONSTANTINE are well-constructed supernatural mysteries that the hero must solve using more wit and guile, given that his magical abilities are modest at best. The various victims of curses and possessions are given realistic characterizations and the FX and costumes are impressive, particularly in one episode's depiction of a monster called an "invunche" (derived from a 1980s SWAMP THING storyline). And Matt Ryan sells the Constantine character as few actors could have, emphasizing his impatience and sardonic humor without lessening the character's capacity for guilt and empathy. Yet there's something about all of the episodes that never escapes the shadow of the formulaic. To borrow from one of my ARCHIVE essays, the CONSTANTINE scripts are all about "what things happen" and not about "how things happen."

The writers also tried to conceal the show's episodic nature by injecting a continuing metaphysical threat, a "Rising Darkness" capable of breaking down the borders between earth and hell. But since the series was dropped, all these dire suggestions amount to window-dressing. The writers were comics-savvy enough to toss in "Easter-egg" references to DC characters like Jim Corrigan and Felix Faust, and there's a story involving a malignant "black diamond" that may have been a covert salute to Eclipso. But on the whole, CONSTANTINE's main virtue was the energetic performance of Ryan. Indeed, when Ryan reprised this role on the LEGENDS OF TOMORROW show, not even those writers' terrible scripts could rob the actor of his formidable presence.

DAIGORO VS. GOLIATH (1972)

2026-07-04T11:47:44.784-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *fair*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *comedy*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

I consider this the first "kaiju comedy" feature film. I've heard some critics assign that distinction to KING KONG VS. GODZILLA, but though I've never seen the original Japanese cut, KKVG isn't structured like a comedy, which requires a lot more overt jokes than even an American distributor could have possibly removed.

DAIGORO was a reworking of a failed (and ostensibly serious) Godzilla project, which was to have been a collaboration between Godzilla's studio Toho and the special effects company Tsurabaya. Once the Big G was off the table, the producers shifted gears toward a comedy for small children, quite as if someone said, "Well, if we can't use Godzilla, let's do our own version of the Son of Godzilla, but make him even dorkier." Indeed, the hippo-like visage of Daigoro, a "kid kaiju" like Minilla, seems to be a joke in its own right.

Unlike Minilla, Daigoro is dependent upon human beings for parental guidance. His mother was a subterranean creature awakened by nuclear tests, and after she ravaged Japan, the military killed her. However, she left behind Baby Daigoro. One might expect the government to take charge of the infant kaiju, whether for study or weaponization-- but this would have deprived the kid-audience of the nuclear-family experience. So the government allows one private individual, an inventor named Goro, to adopt Daigoro and keep him on an island. Trouble is. Goro has to pay for the kid-monster's upkeep, and his only way of doing so is to enter Japanese contests for wacky new inventions. However, Daigoro eventually gets to prove his mettle when a more destructive giant monster, dubbed Goliath, descends to Earth and begins tearing things up.

Though most adults will get little out of the humor here, it's at least palatable if one thinks of kids seeing such jokes for the first time. It's at least lively, not repeating the same jokes the way some Gamera-flicks did, and the weird end-scene with the genial kaiju availing himself of a giant privy has to be seen to be believed. The combative action between the giant monsters wasn't much better than that of a SyFy critter-flick. There's an ecology lecture about how human misuse of the biosphere has weakened the atmosphere, thus making it easier for meteors-- and monsters named Goliath-- to descend and wreak destruction.

The one element that's not totally aimed at kids is Goro's niece Yoshiko. She's of marriageable age, but her uncle's reputation is so bad that every arranged marriage she explores falls through. This is an odd side-plot for a kids' movie, especially since it doesn't affect the main plot, though she manages some sort of hookup at the end. Maybe the writers just thought kids of both genders could identify with having to listen to the complaints of older sisters.

WOLF LAKE (2001)

2026-07-04T10:26:29.409-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *metaphysical, sociological*

Before re-screening the nine episodes of this failed series, I remembered only one or two snippets from the show, which is admittedly more than I usually retain from a series I only saw once, twenty years ago. That said, when I watched the show with my reviewer's hat on, those snippets were the only good parts of the program.

Cop John Kanin (Lou Diamond Phillips) proposes to girlfriend Ruby Wilder (Mia Kirschner) and she accepts-- only to flee to the wilds of Seattle the next day. John tracks her to the small town of Wolf Lake, ruled by the dominant Cates family, and though Ruby avoids contact with her former fiancee, John eventually learns that (a) Ruby is a scion of the Cates family, and (b) her family expects her to marry a local guy named Tyler Creed. But only the viewers, not John, learn that the town plays host to a clan of werewolves.

This might sound like a promising soap-opera, but the characters remain flat and uninvolving despite the efforts of talented actors. Sometimes a character acts precipitately for no stated reason, like Ruby's stepmother Vivian (Sharon Lawrence) sleeping with Ruby's intended ahead of nuptials. Graham Greene has many scenes as a guy who seems to know where all the bodies are buried and keeps saying cryptic things that don't engender mystery or humor. And for a show whose title and premise offer lycanthropes, there are precious few loup-garous.

The best thing about the DVD collection is that it contains both the unaired pilot episode, whose premise was reworked for the flop series, and a brief reflection from series creator John Leekley, who wrote the pilot but was not associated with the series proper. In 1996 Leekley had created and co-written a vampire series for the Fox network, KINDRED: THE EMBRACED. Although KINDRED only lasted one episode less than LAKE's run, apparently CBS asked Leekley to repeat the same act, but with werewolves in Washington (State). The pilot does create a more evocative sense of the werewolf mythology, and though Leekley utters no overt criticisms of the official series, he does say he thought the concept required strong investment. What probably happened is that CBS didn't like Leekley's pilot and went to some other showrunners to rework the concept; showrunners who didn't really like the premise and so played down the werewolves (except for a tedious arc about an adolescent Wolf Lake girl who fears that having sex will make her turn hairy). Leekley's original concept might or might not have resulted in a better series, but the LAKE we have is definitely one big drip.

FAHRENHEIT 451 (2018)

2026-07-03T10:08:01.233-07:00

PHENOMENALITY: *marvelous*
MYTHICITY: *poor*
FRYEAN MYTHOS: *drama*
CAMPBELLIAN FUNCTION: *sociological*

In an essay related to Ray Bradbury's classic FAHRENHEIT 451, I called attention to this passage, the closest the author comes to voicing an aesthetics of good and bad literature:

The good writers touch life often. The mediocre ones run a quick hand over her. The bad ones rape her and leave her for the flies.

I then pointed out that although 451 is replete with many examples of mediocre writing-- mostly televisual in nature-- the reader never knows what sort of literature Bradbury would have found vile enough for this usually mild-mannered author to resort to the rape metaphor. But I like to think he might have considered HBO's adaptation of his novel, directed and co-written by Ramin Bahrani. to belong to the "worse than mediocre" category.

There are two ways to *potentially* render good adaptations of established works, though neither method guarantees success.

The first to attempt to make the adaptation as faithful as possible to the original. There are many such adaptations, ranging from the excellent to the serviceable, and sometimes the approach is problematic given the difficulties of the work-- one example being Ray Bradbury's dubious cinematic adaptation of Melville's gargantuan MOBY DICK.

The second method is to make the adaptation partly unfaithful because the adaptor has different priorities than the original artist, but he still produces key aspects of the source work even if his overall theme is different, as was the case with the 1982 BLADE RUNNER with respect to the Philip K Dick novel.

Francois Truffaut's FAHRENHEIT 451 is another example of a divergent adaptation that transcends its infidelity, and I suppose Ramin Bahrani may have had some notion of doing the same. What Bahrani and HBO produced, though, was a lame travesty of 451, quite possibly motivated by a desire to capitalize on the author's name.

Trufant's rendering might not have mirrored Bradbury's passion for the written word, but at least the French director had some notion of capturing the dissonance of a world where firemen burned books. Bahrani's only goal was to make a dull anti-totalitarian drama, in which the burning of books played a minor role.

There's also a strong indication that Bahrani sought to change the story into one of modern race-conflict into a future setting. Not only is rebellious fireman Guy Montag played by Black actor Michael B. Jordan, he's given a White opponent in the character of Captain Beatty, played by Michael Shannon.

In the book, though Captain Beatty is Montag's pre-eminent opponent, representing the repressive government of book-burners, he's secondary to the female influences on Montag's consciousness: wife Millie, who's become totally brainwashed by the anti-book culture, and Montag's neighbor Clarisse, the elfin young girl who opens Montag's mind to new experiences. In the HBO version, Millie is replaced by a home computer, and Clarisse becomes, of all things, a police informant (!)

In compensation, Bahrani builds up the relationship of Beatty and Montag into that of mentor and student, even surrogate father-and-son. Montag's father was a fireman too, implicitly killed by Beatty so that he could become Montag's "new daddy"-- though the symbolism is hurt by the fact that in 2018 Jordan had just passed thirty, making him a peculiar choice for the "son with a bad dad" trope. Jordan and Shannon fire up their weak characters with considerable passion, but they can't make these lousy characters seem real. Shannon, by the way, gets to play a Spike Lee White Guy by the way Beatty flagrantly uses the Big Evil Forbidden Word.

The rebels against the government, called "Eels" for some reason, aren't a bunch of pacifists memorizing books, so Bahrani transforms them into dime-a-dozen revolutionaries. I suppose there are worse adaptations than this one, but it's certainly near the bottom of the barrel.