Ups & Downs

Ups & Ups ........

2009-03-04T05:36:00.000-08:00

I sought the Lord, and he answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. (Psalm 34:4)

I am back.................................................................!!!
Its been 10 months and a few day since my last confession ...ooops sorry ....Since my last post. Damn has it really been that long...crickey!!
I tried updating my blog in November but just couldn't bring myself to put anything up because i was very overwhelmed with plans and the usual issues at that time....but Thank God its all over now!!
Gods been kind and merciful to me in my moments of distress and has brought me through that storm safely. For that I am very grateful to HIM!!

My dearest THIRTY + , Writefreak , Olamild , Naapali , Zena , SOLOMONSYDELLE ,guerreiranigeriana , Sha, Afrobabe , UndaCovaSista , I am soo sorry for the long silence and promise to make it up to all of you.

Words can not describe the love and gratitude that I have for my blog ville family, your kind words of support and encouragement also gave me hope and saw me through my time of need.
May God Almighty abundantly reward you all. ...wow.. I am getting teary eyed....!
The last 10 months have been filled with ups and downs and have been the most difficult 10 months of my life as I had to make decisions and actions that will go a long way to determining the sort of life that i live.

Enuff mumbo jumbo...... for those of you who are lost.....(refer to my previous posts)...Yes so where was I.....oh yes i was about to drop gist!!....lol

Mr finally proposed can you believe it... the dude took his sweet time.....but he couldn't have picked a better time and place.
Remember how i use to moan about him not popping the question?! In fact it got to a point where i started wondering if he was just stringing me along; as we had decided in Jan 2008 that we were going to be getting married that year with or without my mum.......

Things started taking shape after my graduation, as i had no more assignments and bits to worry about. We decided in June that December will be the best time for the wedding as most of our friends and family tend to travel home - Ghana and Nigeria for Christmas and decided that the wedding will take place in Ghana (dont go making faces...where else was the wedding supposed to take place...Abi Mr's people have to come and 'beg' for me.....lol) date was later confirmed and planning went into full drive......booking of venue, fittings, picking and sending invitation cards etc.
All this while i kept telling myself that Mr was going yo be popping the question anytime soon. Even my friends were more anxious than i was.....lol ...they always kept asking questions like So Mr...any plans for this weekend where are you taking our friend....how dumb !! Were they actually expecting him to say ohhhh I'm thinking of taking Arewa to.......to propose to her. All this time I was actually snooping around for receipts and clues but found nada!!!
So i decided to forget about him popping the question although it was sometimes embarrassing as people start looking at your finger the minute you mention that you are planning your wedding...especially when it is less than 6 months away!! Oh Lord... this dude showed me proper.
We took a trip to Ghana shortly before the wedding to see my family as my mum still wasn't interested in our plans. the trip was a very successful one as i had 100% support and blessings from both my mum and my fathers family.

POPPING THE QUESTION
It had been a very long and stressful day at my uncles house- going to final prep for traditional wedding and all the other activities......All i wanted to do was get home shower and sleep.....next thing.....

Mr: Babe, do you know of any nice spots around here where we can have something to eat

Me: (Sounding very pissed off) I asked you if you were hungry and wanted us to get something to eat about 5 mins ago when we went past Osu (happening area witha lot of joints) and you said NO so what is this about getting food now.......!!!

Mr: (In a very calm voice) Dont stress now Shebi it is just food; I am sure we can get something nice to snack on or eat around here. Anyway...dont worry, my friends told me of this nice restaurant around Airport residential ... i think we should check it out

Me: Whatever........... food is food and your the fussy eater

Driver pulls up in front of a cool looking restaurant...about 10 mins later.....the place was nice and cosy but nothing more to it....lol...dont mind me it was a nice place I was just feeling very grumpy and tired.....So sat down ordered a few things fro m the menu and started to eat.
Half way through his dinner.............

Mr: Babe... i just need to pop our to check on the driver back in a mo

Me: OK

He returns after 2 mins.....

Mr: Babes come with me I want to show you something

Me: IS THE DRIVER OK?

Mr: Yes he is fine....just want to show you something

Me:Ah ahhhhh!! What now!! (I am thinking...what the &$**@ is going on...all i want to do is eat, go home shower and sleep)

He leads me through the car park and down to the side of the restaurant - which has a very lovely garden, with a mad made waterfall and a nice view of the area as the restaurant is situated on top of a hill.

Mr: I just wanted to show you the waterfall....
Me: What about it... it is not a real one anyway!! Are you sure you are OK.....you mean you do not feel like we have had a stressful day.................dont get me wrong hon, this view is lovely but not tonight.............i feel really tired and dont want to be a kill joy .......but i am not feeling this..maybe another day....... ( I started to walk away..He garbs my hand)

Mr: (he gives me a hug) Babe I know its been a very stressful day but just calm down and try and relax....(he pulls away and puts something in my palm)
Me: (Still not feeling the vibe and looking pissed and stressed) What do you want me to...........

THAT WAS WHEN IT HIT ME..... IT WAS A BOX... NO ORDINARY BOX OH.....ONE THAT A RING COULD FIT INTO!!!

At this point Mr was down on one knee with tears in his eyes.....Giving me a speech about how he was sorry it had taken this long to do 'this' and how he has never doubted me and hopes he is doing the thing and wants nothing more than to see me happy and to make me his wife.... oh yeah and something a praying that God gives him the ability to be all that a husband should be and moreeeee......
Mr: My darling Arewa.......will you do me the honor of being my wife......?
Me: (By this time ... i didnt know whether to jump, sit, cry, scream......) Yes yes.. yes... i willll

it was only when he put the ring on my finger and I suddenly realised that i couldn't see the ring properly (to inspect it...lol) that i realised that tears of joy had flooded my eyes.
Pheew.... its happening again!!! - TEARS of JOY.

**Mr and I got married a week before Christmas and everything went smoothly...we even had a traditional ceremony - Introduction.. knocking....etc.

Will you in sooon....dont worry it won't be long. Will update sooonest....lol
Stay blessed people and enjoy the rest of your week....... x x xx

NUFF LOVE !!

Mixed feelings

2008-05-07T11:56:00.000-07:00

“Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

(Proverbs 16:3)”

Yes ..an update at last so no more comments asking me to update..sho gbo?!! My Yourba is in full mode!!!

Oh my dayssss.. i cant believe that its beeen exactly one month since my last post. No vex ooh theres just been so much going on and i will do my very best to update you guys. but i must say i have missed my blogville family plenty!!! I hope you guys are all doing ok and that i hope that family, children, partners, stalkers.....are all doing well by Gods grace.

April has always been a very difficult month for me since my dad passed away 6yrs ago and things just get to me as i am always reminded of his birthday on the 2nd of April and his deth in the 18 th of April every year. I tried to put up a blog in his memory but i just couldn't bring myself tod o it for some reason so i mourned in silence......I miss my dad so much with all the things that I am currently going through and wish he was here to comfort me and to also share all wonderful things that i have achieved and continue to achieve in my life. I wish he will be here to see his baby girl graduate in July and to get married in December by Gods grace. Damn I miss him soo much. May His soul continue to rest in perfect peace.

The main thing that kept me from updating was my dissertation and it is all done now. i handed it in 2 weeks ago and jut needed time to recover as i run out of vocabulary ......lol dont mind me.

So all i am almost done.....got 2 assignments and 1 exam in the next couple of weeks and yours truly will be graduating in July..........FINALLY!!!!

I know that the cheeky ones amongst una are itching for an update on my jogging and excercising...i have a confession to make.... its been 3 weeks since my last jog on Hampstead heath but i am actually looking forward to continuing my routine once i am done with my exams and my assignments by the end of the month. So you better watch this space!!!

Now about my situation with my mum. The woman is still not budging and is still refusing to give me her blessing to marry the love of my life. but i have managed t make a bit of progress back home as my Uncle(mum's older brother) is willing to stand in on my mums behalf as he doesnt seem to understand why my mum is being so strong headed. I am happy about this but stilll wish that she will see sense and just let me be.

I am actually planning on having a word with her about her attending my graduation as I do not want her to turn up and ruin my day by disrespecting MR a few well wishers from his family.

I am thinking of asking her to consider her invitation to my graduation as her last chance of being involved in my life as i will expect her to be at the wedding if she decides to attend my graduation as both events mean a lot to me and will do for the rest of my life.

The relationship with my mum is one that seems to be getting worse to the extent that i actually HATE her for trying to make me a failure and for the way that she has continued to disrespect and destroy me.

I prefer to walk away from all this now in order to keep the little bit of sanity, self respect and esteem that i have left.

What use is a mother who is unable to show her own child love and affection?

What use is a mother who picks work over her family and yet tries to tell her daughter what to do?

What good is a mother who lies about her own daughter just to cover up her faults?

Why cant they see what i see and just be happy for me?

My heart aches badly as I yearn for my mothers love and affection ............why must i be subjected to so much pain by my own mum.

IT ALL STOPS HERE AND NOW. CUS I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE.

I AM FINALLY CUTTING ALL TIES WITH MY MUM AND MOVING ON WITH MY LIFE, THE CHOICE TO MISS OUT ON THE MOST IMPORTANT EVENTS IN MY LIFE IS HERS TO MAKE AND THERE IS NOTHING MORE I CAN DO ABOUT THIS SITUATION.

I know some of you might be wondering what the hell is wrong with me and why I sound this way or why i just cant seem to get on with my life without bothering about my family(mum) but it trust me it isn't easy at all.... but i have to be positive and look to the Lord for a sense of direction and a source of strength because i feel drained.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose."

Onch......OUCH!!!

2008-04-07T11:38:00.000-07:00

One Word: OUCH!!!

Where do i begin....I cant lift my arms too much..., my thighs are aching, my love handles feel like they are about to explode and my as for my abs don't even go there...they are killing me!!!

I bet you've guessed what I'm complaining about.....I have started my mission to keep fit whiles to loosing my love handles and my extra tummy....lol

My mission began last Thursday with a 30 min jog up Hampstead Heath.Oh my Gosh who the hell asked me to be soo adventurous... i had bee contemplating the jog for a few days and decided that I had to take the first step and at least do something so .. i got dressed in my tracksuit bottoms and jumper, hair tied into a sleek pony tail, ipod tacked between by 34f's...lol and i was offf.....call me crazy but i decided to go jogging just as it was getting dark as i was feel a bit self conscious...didn't want people looking at me and thinking...What the hell does she think she is doing?!

But there was none of that I managed to jog half way to the top of the heath (which is 30ft high and has a breath taking view) and walked the rest of the way. I did a few stretches at the top as my thighs were killing me and then jogged all the way from the top to the bottom .....I absolutely enjoyed it and just couldnt wipe the smirk off my face... I must say I was proud of myself for taking the first step.

So now i have decided 30 min jog up hampstead heath 3 times a week, Davina DVD and You tube videos for 3omins at least twice a week.

I am trying my best when it comes to food by having a 100% fruit smoothies, muslie bars for snacks and eating a lot more fruit and veg... oh and I only have carbs with my lunch ...none for dinner. I was advised by a friend to try and eat my vegetables raw rather than steamed or even fried and I must say that I am loving Sweet peppers...red and yellow.. they are my favourite vegetables and i love eating them raw.....

So for those of you out there who said you were also looking for ways of keeping fit or losing some weight Afrobabe, Sha , Pink-satin Overwhelmed Naija Babe, .. there you go......i found these videos on you tube.. trust me they work wonders at working my muscles but they are hard work......I dare you to try them.......Let me know what you think......

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=15Uxbv4WOpo - Pilates for Abs

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DB1vVt39Qes&feature=related - Love Handles 1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e76mLhSr1yU&feature=related - Love Handles 2 ( I like this one as it also works your abs if you hold your tummy in)

Dunno if you guys remember the post I love u but..I dont TRUST u!! about one of my friend who has a really insecure boyfriend? Well guess what the dude dumped her !! Can you believe it.

So here is what happened......the dude decided in January that things were not working out and asked that they both go their separate ways....my friend(Lets call her Esi) didn't really understand why he had suddenly made that decision as this same dude had discussed marriage with her a few months before and had even asked her to go and get the list for knocking(introduction amd engagement) from her dad.

A few days after this dude broke things off with Esi....she found out from a Friend that the guy had actually been seeing another girl for about 6 months and had gone to perform the introduction ceremony and to ask for the girls hand in marriage. The dude was engaged to the new girl just 3 weeks after breaking up with Esi and will be getting married in June.

Esi is still in a state of shock and just cant let this guy go as she claims that she still loves him....she keeps going to his house and calls him constantly but he doesn't take her calls and refuses to see her whenever she goes to his place. How do you get over a guy who promised you the world and then decides to take it all away from you after 9 years......

What do i say to her and how do i console her...she is an emotional wreck at the moment and i just feel so helpless.

I feel for her as i know what it feels like to be broken hearted......................................

Why do some men have to be so cruel and how does one stop him/herself from falling too deep in order not to feel this hurt when things go wrong?

Where and how does one start all over again......

WHERE ARE THE FEW GOOD MEN WHO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS ALL ABOUT PLEASE HOLLAR IF U R OUT THERE CUS I KNOW A WHOLE LOAD OF BROKEN HEARTED SISTERS OUT THERE WHOSE HEARTS NEED MENDING.

Mission POSSIBLE !!

2008-03-31T09:35:00.000-07:00

Where my people @.....Hope everything is cool with you all and that you have all started the week on a good note....Well mine hasn't been too bad....Had an appointment with my dissertation Supervisor today and he is very happy with my work so far ..so all I have to do is keep a low profile and finish hard as it is due in about three weeks.

This post is one of my random ones so pardon me if i hop from one topic to the other.....

I went shopping with my one of my girlfriends over the weekend and came across a lovely bikini that i just could bring myself to try on ... you see the thing is that yours truly has been slaking in the fitness department for almost a year now causing me to loose my flat tummy and to gain a pair of very irritating love handles that have refused to disappear. The devil is a liar .... I have bought that bikini and I will fit perfectly into it for my next holiday/ Honeymoon...lol

My friend encouraged me to try it one... going on about how my bits are not as bad as i say...so me too like mumu ... i tried it on and damn didnt it look good on....but those fatty bits just had to make themselves seen no matter ho hard i tried to conceal them.....by adjusting straps here and there.

So I have finally decided I NEED TO LOOSE A BIT OF WEIGHT!!! I decided to weight myself when i got home and i must confess it wasn't good at all. I have gone from weighting 11 stone to 13.5 stone in the last year.....That is not good!!

Mr claims that I look good but probably need to loose just a little bit .....and that just killed me because that was his way of saying Yeah i do think that you are a bit on the chubby side now!! FUMING!!!! He always has to try and be diplomatic about everything.
I am a bit frustrated with my weight although friends keep telling me that i look ok. But i don't see ok when i look in the mirror....you see the thing is that I am 5'10 in height and have a figure that hides my weight and it also doesn't help that my big tata's, melon, tits....whatever you call them....already make me feel a bit funny about my body..(dont u go telling me 'big boobs are sexy and all that rubbish) YOU try carrying them around for a day.......

So I have decided to take up RUNNING and Skipping to get me started ... just something to keep fit and possibly shift the love handles and my extra tummy...... Joining the gym is out of the question for now as i had a not so nice experience about 6 months ago when I joined the gym in order to tone up a bit and to shift those bits and guess what....i got really pissed off cus i didnt seem to be toning up or losing any weight although i felt that i was building my stamina , in fact i actually gained a bit more weight over that time and decided to stop going to the gym altogether......
Anyway no shaking... its about time i get back into shape ... as I will have found my Wedding gown for December and will be starting my fittings in a few months and you know I also need to shape up for our Honeymoon period and the life of ever ready and everlasting sex (Morning, afternoon and evening).......lol

Any ideas on ways in which i can shift my 'baby fat' ??? I am really crap at dieting cus i cant do without my agege bread, Eba, Kenkey, Rice , Rice Rice and More Rice oh yes and my pasta.

Lie lie... i will fit into that bikini and into my wedding gown without any wahala. i will be the stunning and blushing bride....I need to knock Mr OFF HIS FEET.....

Anyway.... yours truly is off to look for some running shoes on ebay...

Mission possible? Sure thing !!!!

Ps: This is not a ladies only post ooh so guys please feel free to comment.. i dont want to mention names...dont be silent bloggers ooh..

NUFF LOVE

Next Level???!!

2008-03-25T08:03:00.000-07:00

I just want to say a big THANK U to everyone who left comments on my last post...Omo you people are just Amazing. I thank God Almighty for your lives and pray that He will continue to bless you in all that you do...Amen!!!

"There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." - (1 John 4:18)

Ok so Mr has been my shoulder to lean on in the last few months not that he has never been there ooh but I have just been at an all time low and He has been there for me at all times and I am very grateful and Thanks God for bringing him into my life.

So we were having our usual chit chat over the weekend and found ourselves discussing marriage and what it means...or should I saw what we both understand it to and what we expect marriage to be about......yada yada yada....

I actually started off my expressing my feelings about how recent events and experiences in the marriages of close friends is beginning to kill my joy about getting married. there has been so much drama from domestic violence to husbands attempting to commit suicide just because love dont live in their house no more...., husbands attempting to run away with kids because wife is no longer interested in him due to his attitude towards her and the list goes on and on......(NO WORIES I WILL UPDATE WITH DETAILS LATER)

Why do things have to get so complicated and why cant people just sit down and talk and when this happens why cant they just come to a compromise especially when there are kids involved.

And when people say that they have forgiven and forgotten why the hell don't they just keep to their words.

I described marriage as moving on the next level but Mr objected saying that there is no such thing as the next level and claims that women tend to create this fantasy of what marriage life is all about , expecting unrealistic things to happen. And i totally object to that ...my interpretation of the next level is looking forward to spending the rest of my life with the love of my life and starting a new life with him and the wonderful and kids and other blessings that Gods Almighty bestows on us. And of course i have expectations.....who doesn't.....I look forward to romantic get aways with my husband before the kids start pouring in....not to say that i expect that to stop once the babies start pouring in oooh.....lol

But honestly.......I just think that some couples allow the hard times to overshadow the good ones.. i know it is easier said than done but there are people who have been through rough times but have remained married for yonks......

I have a couple of friends who have vowed never to get married just because they have been treated horribly in past relationships and just cant see themselves ever loving or trusting anyone ever again.

To those of you out there who are married... what is the secret to a successful marriage ?

To those who are in relationships and considering moving on to the next step....what are your expectations....., what are you looking forward to the most AND WHAT ARE YOU DREDING?

To those who have vowed not to get into serious relationships due to hurt and pain from past relationships..what will it take for you to let someone love you again......??

Oh and is there such a thing as the next level or is Mr just trying to kill my joy....lol?

Any advice.....Simi Speaks .. thats ur Q oohh oya advice us.... x x x x

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails." - (1 Corinthians 13:4-8)

Goingz Onzs 2

2008-03-17T12:30:00.000-07:00

But those who wait on the LORD will find new strength. They will fly high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. - Isaiah 40:31

Hey guys... longest time....I know I have been MIA for a few weeks now. A lot of stuff has been going on.....

My dissertation is due at the end of April so you can just imagine..So so books and journals i dey read ... my head feeels like its about to explode. Almost done with my Lit review and my research so I will be starting my write up really soon..God help me!!

In the mean time.. my issues with my mum still continue.......I decided a few months ago(after my mums cold attitude towards Mr's familyNah real wah.....Back sliding ) to cut all communication with my mum, because she had disgraced me in front of my future in -laws and had also made a right ass of herself.

I know some of you might think that my decision is quiet harsh but I really do not care at this point. I mean how am I supposed to show my mum love and treat her right when she continues to treat me like shit as if i just dont exists. I must confess that my life has been a lot better with less stress since i took this decision.

I know i stated that i was feeling really depressed and felt that i was backsliding in my Nah real wah post, what i didnt mention was how bad my depression was...Mr had to beg me to rethink all the things that i was considering: such as throwing myself down the staircase, walking into oncoming traffic or even a drug overdose. I never thought that I would ever consider doing such extreme things to myself but i had just had enough of everything and constantly having to justify my choice in a life partner and apologising for my mums crude behaviour to soo may people. I was just soo fed up......I thank God for the little voice inside my head that always stopped me from doing anything silly and the power of love which made me consider the effects of my actions on my dearly beloved Mr, who has been my physical pillar of strength in all this. So i have gotten into the habit of taking long walks in order to have a good cry whenever i feel a bit down(and trust me it works). Why the hell should I take my life just because my mum is soo bent on making my life miserable? That should even motivate me to prove her wrong.....so what the hell am I doing by contemplating suicide.........DAMN I NEVER THOUGHT IT COULD GET THIS BAD.

I dont miss not being in touch with my mum or anything to do with her but then again what do i expect to miss as she was never there for me in as a mother should for a daughter. So how am I am suppose to miss something that was never there.......?

I hate to ask this but.. is it possible for a mother to be jealous of her own daughter ?

I went to see my priest a few weeks ago when I was feeling really depressed and he said a lot of things that made me think about my relationship wit my mum and the sentiments that keep me from moving on with my life.

I wont lie ooh.. My mum has caused me soo much pain by saying the most hurtful and demeaning things to me. She has made me feel like I am nothing and has reduced me to nothing...I still have issues with confidence and my self esteem but I am working on at it and doing all that I can with he help of my friends and loved ones.

I have taken time over the last couple of weeks to think about my mums reasons for not wanting to give me her blessing and for not approving of my choice of a lifetime partner and I really cant seem to understand what the big problem is.......She objects to my relationship for the following reasons:

Because Mr is Nigerian and I am Ghanaian (asking what I will do if Mr. decides to run away with my Children to settle in Nigeria if things do not work out...yeah right and I am just a mum abi)

Because He is Muslim and I am Christian (I dont know why she keeps going on about this..It was one of my major concerns when Mr and I decided to get really serious about our relationship, he and his family do not expect me to convert and are welcome me as a christian as they have already have a few mixed religious marriages in their family. Mr is aware of the fact that our children need to be raised as Catholic until they are old enough to decided on what they want to be , as this is one of the recommendations of the Catholic church in cases such as mine where the other partner is not of Catholic faith)

Because his family are of mixed faith both Christians and Muslims (She just doesn't see how they are able to live in peace and sees it as some kind of taboo)

she wants me to be independent.. have my own house, car ........before getting married(regardless of the fact that my body clock is ticking )What happened to including your life partner in your future plans in order to work towards your future together. My mum just things that I intend to become a useless housewife when i get married. Its like she has no faith in me and just thinks the worst of me...what the hell does she think I payed my own way through 3 yrs of University for?

she believes that MR is only putting on an act and that he will stop loving me once we start having his kids (yeah right.. using me for 7yrs.. he must have all the time in the world....some other guy would have run a mile after realising how cruel and horrible my mum is)

that he will definitely want to have 2 more wives because of his religion

And the list goes on and on.............I know my mum is just concerned about my future and wants whats best for me but she definately isnt going about it the right way ......the scary thing is that my mum gave similar excuses years ago when my older sister use to bring guys home...15yrs later, my sister is now 37 yrs old, lives miles away from London -just to be away from my mum and my evil ass kissing brother, suffers from very low self esteem and is constantly depressed due to the way her life has turned out, just because she failed to stand up to my mum when she should have ...and did i mention my sister is still not married!! I really feel for my sister and continue to do all that i can to help her but the harm has already been done. I do not wish to end up like my sister ...God forbid!!

On a more positive note, Mr and I have picked the date for our wedding, which will definately be in December this year......venue has been provisionally booked and all..but i am taking a break from all the weding planning for now.. just until i have handed in my dissertation (end of April) then it will be full steam ahead...!!

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.~ 1 Peter 5:7

2008-02-27T11:52:00.000-08:00

R.I.P KAYA, PATIENCE & DANIELLE

This post is memory of Kaya, Patience & Danielle .............
I met Kaya in Sixth form, I wouldnt say that we were buddies but mates. Just hi's and hello's here and there and brief chats where necessary.
So you might be wondering why I have decided to put up a post in her memory.
I got a phone call from one of my friends last week Tuesday informing me about an accident on the M1 involving Kaya's car and a Royal mail van. News at that time was that it wasnt to clear if Kaya made it as things were still being investigated. I laughed it off and told my friend that people were probably just exaggerating......I said that because I just didnt want to believe what I had just being told and i was trying to be hopeful.
I picked up the London Paper on my way to work and found the story of the accident in the middle page....there had been 4 passengers in the car....2 died on the spot but Kaya and one other passenger had survived the accident just that Kaya was in a coma but was described as being a stable condition.

R.I.P Patience X X X X xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx R.I.P Danielle X X X

Everyone set out praying for Kayas recovery and being hopeful......pages sprung all over the internet asking for prayers and hope that Kaya will pull through.

I got a phone call at 2pm .....KAYA PASSED AWAY THIS MORNING!!!
I was in soo much shock and didnt even know whether to cry or scream.......Something died inside me.

Kaya was well known in the UK Urban entertainment industry as a young talented and beautiful model with so much to live for. She was just so full of life and just had something about her that made her like able.
But one thing that makes this a bit easy for me to come to terms with is the fact that she lived her life to the full doing what she loved....

Kaya's death has a given me a wake up call and has thought me that life is too short and that we need to make the best of every single day that God grants us because I would have never believed it if anyone had told me years ago that Kaya will die at the age of 23....so young and soo much to live for ....May GOD SPARE OUR LIVES.

3 lives lost from the same accident within the space of 2 weeks....My heart goes out to Kayas's family and those of the 2 other passangers : Danielle aka.D.Krystal & Patience. May your souls rest in the loving arms of our Almighty Father. x x x

RIP BABY GIRL....u will be missed x x x x

Nah real wah.....Back sliding

2008-02-22T11:32:00.000-08:00

Ok I must confess ......Yours truly is feeling a bit depressed again.....and I bet you all know why. One word: MUM, shes at it again or should i say shes getting to me again. (Fot those of you who do not know what the hell Ima on about feel free to catch up Ikomo Prt 2 /Breaking the News , BREAKING THE NEWS - Update , Letting it all out !! , Goingz onssssss........ , etc

I know I decided at the beginning of this year that I was going to move on with my life and follow my heart. I have kept to that but it hasn't been easy. I have done a bit of back sliding in the last few weeks but what can I say.. I'M ONLY HUMAN.

I know a lot of people have advised me on this situation and continue to support me in all I do but mhen.. its not easy.

So I managed to get Mr's family to come and see my mum (only letting her know at that last minute, as she would have left the house or just been difficult if she I had given her enough notice of their visit.. you see my mum is stubborn like that). So Mr's relatives who are very aware of my mums feelings came to see her just to try and persuade and inform her of their good intentions and blah blah blah.....Lets just say that my mum sat and listened to them oooh but she didnt really budge....all she said was that there wasn't much she could say at that point as she was not really aware of their visit and that all she could say was that THEY ARE WELCOME!! and that was all my mum said........if you welcome people into your home do you not at lest try and strike some kind of conversation with them? noooo my mum just sat there giving one liners when our guests tried to strike conversation with her. Omo I was so ashamed.....my only consolation was that these guests were aware of my mums behaviour and attitude but i know they never expected her to be that cold.So the visit yielded nothing except for the fact that my mum could no longer say that she had never been approached by Mr's family to ask for my hand in marriage.

I know you might be wondering why I am putting myself through all this tress by trying to get my mum,s consent. Its just that I want to give her a chance to be part of my future but I get the message loud and clear now that she is not interested and is even prepared to embarrass herself and myself in front of my soon to be in laws.

I know people have said to be strong and that my mum will come around in the end but that is rubbish. Why is she putting me through all this . Does she think I have invested 7 yrs of my life into this relationship as a joke .. just for her to come and mess things up for me. God forbid ooh.Is she acting this way because she really wants whats best for me or is she just being over protective...sometimes I think she is just jealous but why would she be.....!!

I guess I have to agree with my priest and accept that fat that my mum has the right not to like the man that I intend to spend the rest of my life with but i need to let go of all the sentimental feelings that I keep attaching to my mums behaviour and Let go in order to start living a realistic life.

Then the thought crosses my mind of what might happen in the future ... that my in laws and some heartless people might use my mums objection to my marriage as a reason to disrespect me.....I know what our people can be like... but I know my man will never let that happen as he has always been there for me and does not allow anyone to disrespect me in anyway.

I guess i have no control over the future but all i can do is to take actions now that will make my future with Mr a blessed, loving and never ending one.

I am rethinking my plans for the wedding as it might end up being a Private Church ceremony followed by a reception for about 100 guests.

I know my mum older brother is still bent on getting my mum to come around...Bless his heart. But we shall see. The battle still continues..................................

Naapali dont worry I will let go of wanting my momsi to accept my man ooh ...but Its just not easy....I pray that God Almighty gives my the strength and a clear mind to make the right decisions and to move on with my life!! Amen!!

21...Tips..pointers..must do's.....??

2008-02-17T05:07:00.000-08:00

Hey peeps..Wetin dey....? Hope you all had a fab Valentines Day.....? Then again look at me asking about Vals Day as if nah everybody dey celebrate Vals Day.....Anyhouw...Hope you are all doing well by Gods grace all I also hope that you have also recovered from the whooping that the Super Eagles recieved from Ghana's Black Stars even though it seems like old news now.....but I just have to say SHAME ON ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WERE HATING ON MY DEAR BLACK STARS who came 3rd!! .....lol. Ok ok enough of all that and I will never mention it again.....(yeah right...)

This post was actually a forwarded message from one of my friends as one of those messages that you are meant to forward to all your friends but I decided to share it with yall because it holds so much meaningful advice about the little things that we can do to make our lives happier and more fulfilled. So please read on and do remember to take something away with you and do let me know what you think .Here goes:

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, 'I love you ,' mean it.

FIVE. When you say, 'I'm sorry,' look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, 'Why do you want to know?'

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say 'bless you' when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson!

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

STAY BLESSED & HAVE A LOVELY WEEK!!

My Love..........

2008-02-13T12:43:00.000-08:00

With your hand in mine, I am the luckiest person on earth

How can I begin to tell you how right it feels to be with you

You know what to say on days when I am having a tough time and feel so down

I could search forever and never be able to express how much you mean to me

So today and always,

I want you to know that I will always want and need you by myside

I love you more than words can ever say

There are so many things that I wish and pray for you everyday........

the kind of lasting happiness that you have given me

the same love and warmth that I feel when I think of you.....

times filled with laughter and promise like the special moments that we share

I wish and pray for so mant good things for you because

You are the best thing that ever happened to me

Lots of LoVe :

Your Babygal x x xx x

Nothin, NO_THING !!

2008-02-06T14:16:00.000-08:00

The plan was to wait a few more weeks before updating but I didnt want my last post to serve as a constant reminder of THE SUPER FOWLS.. OOOPS EAGLES LOSS to my dear GHANA..lol and to also save Afrobabe from losing her raggs..lol.

BLACK STARS AYIEKOOOOOOOO!!

If any of you are thinking of taking the piss after tomorrows match between Ghana and Cameroon. You better abort that plan now cus it wont work. I must confess that the Ghana Naija match was seriously hyped up and both teams were quit crap but Naija was extra...lol Hence Ghana whopping thier ass.

I honestly dont see the Ghana Black Stars winning the Cup but at least we can proudly boast of beating the Super Fowls.......ok thats enough ooh before people start swearing for me...

U know I have nothing but love for yallll after all who said I am Ghanaian. Mr don change my nationality oh... he says I am now offically an Omo Naija so there you go.

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I dont really have anything to blog about so I decided to do a second MEME or should I call it I, I .....cant remember whose blog I got the idea from sha but I guess it will do for now.......

I am not: as happy as people think I am
I regret: being in control of my life at an earler age
I care: about anyone who cares about meI always: try to be true to myself
I long to: be the best mother and wife to my kids and to the man in my life

I feel alone: when my family decide not to be there for me(which is all the time)I hide: the fact I'm scared of getting married

I dance: better in front of the mirror

I write: because it allows me to get things of my chest
I breathe: because the Lord Almighty abides with me
I play: with myself sometimes (lol...............)

I miss: my dad who passed away 6yrs ago - dunno if i will ever get over his death
I search: for peace and happiness in my life and in my future
I feel: like my life has taken a new turn because God is in control
I succeed(ed): by trusting in the Lord and believing that he has a purpose for me
I fail: to love myself as I really should
I dream: of my mum accepting my choice of a life patner and letting me be
I sleep: with the windows open...all year round

I wonder: what my life will be like in 20yrs

I want: to be a source of inspirartion to other young women in my situation

I worry: that I my mum might never accept my man...
I have: no real best friend.. they all have too much baggage to worry about me...lol

I give: all that I have at all times

I fight: for justice and everything that is real

I am: just me
I can’t: to get married(even though the thought scares me)
I will: continue to trust in God

I can: be a right old Cruella sometimes

I intend :to relocate to Ghana in the next 5 yrs
I might: graduate with a 1st
I like: being pampered ....

I love: my music and my food
I smile: when My man offers to make breakfast (which is like once every 2 yrs..lol)
I frown: when people try to get on my wrong side

I read: a lot of Novels (African writers)

Have a nice week or whats left of it ....MUWAH X X X

Witchcraft & African Nations Cup

2008-01-31T11:28:00.000-08:00

Ghana v Naija

Lets the games begin... I see how Nigerians have suddenly become so confident that they will be going home with Cup....Ok oh I hear....we shall see sha...Bring on the prayers and the fasting....lol. Welcome back into the competition Naija..comee on and show us what you are really made of..........
Ok so Ghanaians and Nigerians all over the world are counting down to the BIG GAME on Sunday.

I decided that I wasnt going to blog about this match until after Sundays game but I came across an article in the Gaurdian (British)Newspaper about the use of witchcraft in the African Cup of nations and that pised me off so much ......the articles reads:

Scott Murray, John Ashdown and Tom Lutz

Wednesday January 30, 200
Guardian Unlimited

"Has witchcraft ever been used at the African Cup of Nations?" asks Lloyd Mariner.

Juju has already played a part in this year's tournament, Lloyd: in the opening match between hosts Ghana and Guinea, several Ghana fans carried a "juju pot" containing leaves and liquid in order to "scare away all devils", while churchgoers went to their Sunday service bedecked in the country's red, gold and green for a "cleansing" ceremony designed to inspire "total victory". It seemed to work, if you believe in this sort of thing or are a journalist in need of copy to file, as Ghana's Sulley Muntari scored a last-minute screamer to win the game.

This is nothing on what happened in the 2002 semi-final between Mali and Cameroon, though, when Cameroon coach Winfried Schafer and his goalkeeping coach, Thomas Nkono, were arrested by riot police for placing a magic charm on the pitch before the match. Or two years previously, when a Nigerian FA official skittered on to the pitch mid-game to steal off with a charm which had been placed in the back of the opposition net during his country's quarter-final with Senegal. His intervention came 15 minutes from time with Senegal a goal to the good; by the end of the match, Nigeria had scored twice to turn the game around. Make of that what you will: the options are a lot, or not much.
"We are no more willing to see witch doctors on the pitch than cannibals at the concession stands," said a spokesperson for the CAF, who consider such incidents to propagate the image of Africa as a third-world continent. Though why this should be the case is anyone's guess, given half of England's top stars over the years - John Terry taping his shinpads up three times, Gary Neville wearing the same eau de parfum every day, Gazza making sure all the towels in the dressing room hang off the rail symmetrically - appear to have mild-to-rampaging cases of Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but that's the way it seems to be.

Why the hell do these Oyinbo journalists always have to fing a way of reporting news about Africa in way that is so demeaning and portraying us as so uncultured and primitive. So what if people carried pots filled with leaves and whatever else on thier heads why can't they just provide the rest of the world with constructive reports about the game or focus on other aspects of the games. Is it a crime to be patriotic and to be proud od ones country and culture?

Why cant they just let us be....... African newspapers do not critisise British Premiership fans and players disrepectfully when that go driniking thier heads off in pubs before, during and after games and also end up behaving in a very disorderly manner.

WHAT IS THIER BLOODY PROBLEM.......??!

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RANT OVER

Anyways, Come on people any predictions.....? I am really looking forward to Sundays game with me supporting Ghana and Mr supporting Naija. I dont want to say too much now just in case yall decide to gang on me (omo Ghana) so all I can say for now is:

MAY THE BEST TEAM WIN!!!

COME OOON

GGG HHH AAA NN AAAAAAA !!

Sorry guys no time to spellcheck but shae u get point sha?! L8R X X

Teen Love PART 2

2008-01-28T12:32:00.000-08:00

My story continues........

So I noticed that the conversation that was going on between my neighbour and the woman in the car had stopped and they were both staring at me ....as if I had done something wrong.

Our neighbours wife (Lets call he Auntie B) asked me to come over.....meanwhile the woman in the car was just looking me up and down and giving me some dirty looks..as if I had stolen her husband or something.

It turned out that the woman in the car was P's step mum and had come looking for our house based on the info that i gave her over the phone (my Full name)and bumped in Auntie B while she was driving over to our house.

Auntie B asked me if I knew who the woman was to which I answered Negative. At which point P's step mum (lets call her Cruella). Now stepped in and started raining insults and warnings at me.. calling me names and saying how I should never call her house again and stop writing SEXY letters(in her own words) to her son. She was basically chatting a whole load of bull about how I call her son 3 times in the evening and how i don't want to leave her son alone and keep forcing myself on him even though he has explained that he is not interested in me. This woman was just lying and blowing things out of proportion , I was just so scared to say a word and stood there listening to her lies and looking on as she disgraced me in front of Auntie B.

All this time I was just praying for Cruella to finish with her lies and disappear before waking my dad(who was in his room having a nap) and before my mum got back from work as she was due back at any moment.

Auntie B realised that Cruella was getting a bit carried away with her warning and was now trying to settle things as she knew that I was not that sort of child and also wanted to calm Cruella down as she was beginning to attract a lot of attention.

Next, I heard a car drive into our yard and looked over my shoulder only to see my mum driving into our front yard......I felt like fainting cause I knew that thing were just about to get out of control and that I was dead meat!

Auntie B sensed what was about to happen and tried dismissing me before my mum parked the car and got out but Cruella just had to have the last word.

I walked quickly towards my mum and tried to look like nothing had happened but my mum had already sensed that something was wrong and was also walking briskly towards me...asking if I was OK and what was going on..... But noo Cruella had to open her big mouth again...Telling my mum to keep me in check and shouting about how i am forcing myself on her son.. This got my mum pissed off and caused her to ask the Cruella what the hell she was talking about......and the LYING OLD COW LIED ABOUT EVERYTHING ALL OVER AGAIN.

My mum calmed Cruella down and gave her a piece of her mind about P's letters that she had also found in my room . But Cruella insisted that P was only writing to be because i was forcing myself on him and he didn't know what to do.

My mum took me home by my ear which felt like it had just been lubricated with pepper. My mum told me off proper and called me a little tart and all .. i know that she was very upset because of all that Cruella had said but they were all lies.... and you know I could not get a single word in or else I would have been given the whooping of my life. Don't know how news of the incident travelled around but lets just say it was the latest news at school (P's and Mine) for the next couple of days .

I was very surprised that my mum did not whoop my ass at all... I guess she kind of knew that Cruella had lied about almost everything. I was grounded for a month and was not allowed to use the phone for months.

P sent me a letter a few days after apologising for Cruella's behaviour but i just ignored him because I was really upset at the whole incident but i forgave him in the end (as he had warned me of Cruellas EVIL WAYS FROM THE BEGINING BUT WE JUST DIDN'T KNOW HOW FAR SHE WOULD REALLY GO) after he came over to my school a few weeks later to apologise in person we decided to keep things on the D - low from then onwards.

P and I are still very good friends and occasionally tease each other about the whole incident but I am still pissed off at the fact that Cruella made up all those lies about me .....Can you believe that she even asks P about me every now and then....She should just thank her stars that I havent seen since then because I have vowed to confront her whenever I see her even if it is in 10yrs time. I am older and wise enough to cuss her now .....that silly woman owes me an apology !!

Teen love........

2008-01-27T03:52:00.000-08:00

princesa's latest post on old school love letters brought back memories and reminded me of an incident that took place over 16yrs ago:

I used to be involved in a lot of Cultural dancing and Drama activities back in my Primary and J.S.S days.

There was this dude(Lets call him P) who saw me on a show that my school did on TV and got my number from one of his friends who knew me...... we talked on a few occasions established a 'relationship' (which meant pretty much nothing to me ) I was just fun to have this guy calling me all the time. We never got to meet up cus we attended different schools and my strict military dad did not allow me to go gallivanting or even entertain any boys so all we had was a telephone relationship......can you believe that I didn't even know what the boy looked like and had to go by the description that my friends had given me which was then confirmed when he sent me a picture of himself. I must admit he wasn't that cute but he was ok..... He started calling me his girlfriend which i didn't really give a toss about so I also went went the flow. (Young love.. how blind and foolish)

Then things escalated to the next level.... (i beg no dirty thoughts oooh) he started writing me all these love letters ....which always had FLY SAFELY TO written just above my name and KISS BEFORE YOU OPEN written at the back of the envelope.

The letters always expressed how much he loved me and slowly developed into describing the things that he wanted to do to me......Am all I did was to read these letters with me friends and giggle at every sentence. The words he wrote meant nothing much to me.....all I knew was that there was a boy who lived on the other side of the Military camp who was in love with me and kept sending me all these letters.

We met face to face a few moths later at an inter schools Athletic Completion and finally established a so called proper relationship...which was still just child's play..all we did was hold hands and nothing else.....He knew not to even tray anything cause everyone knew my dad and how strict he was and i guess that was what kept him in check....I am going on too much. Back to the main story...

I used to keep my love letters in a shoebox box at the very top my wardrobe...and don't know how the hell my mum found them but boy was I in trouble...cus i also had love letters from other guys that i was stalling in that box.

My mum and dad summoned me to the living room after dinner one evening only to bring unveil my collection of love letters which she had taken time to go through.....I was shitting myself ......cus she had all P's letters in her hand and cussed me from Africa to Asia and back... thank God it was just a serious tongue lashing but no beatings or slaps whatsoever.

My mum gave me a serious talk while my dad sat there and just watched ......which I found very strange but I was glad that my dad hadn't taken over cus I knew he would probably kill me..I kept watching him from the corner of my eye just so I could run for the door , if he decided to have sort me out with some serious beatings... ...lolOur talk ended once my mum had finished her lecture and I promised not to entertain P any longer.

I didn't get to speak to P about what went down with my parents as their phone had been out of service for a couple of days....and decided to write to him through our friend who was acting as our delivery guy. It turns out that my letter arrived late cus his parents had also found the love letters that I wrote to him in reply to his letters.....just that mine were less detailed and was usually made up with lyrics from my favourite love songs...lol.... how sad...lol

I decided to try P's phone number just for luck on the same day that i sent the letter :

Beep Beep, Beep Beep - The phone was ringing...their phone had been repaired...Thank God .......

Hello ?! (Someone picked up , it sounded like his Step mom ......ooh shit she was supposed to be out of town with his dad Didn't know whether to hung up or to just talk so .. i spoke )

Me: Emmmmm Hello Good Evening...Can I PLLEEAASSEE speak to P PLEASE?

Step mum: You want to speak to Who?!

Me: P Please.........(I was ssooo sacred, cus P and my other friends had warned me of this woman and how evil she was)

Step Mum: Who is calling ?!

Me: PLEASE My name is ........(I MENTIONED MY FULL NAME ..AS IF I WAS @ COURT MARSHAL)

Step mum: Oh so its you eehn....Listen to me very carefully.. I do not want you to ever call this house again do you hear me and dont you ever, if you do I will have to call your house and report you to your parents do you hear me ....nonsense!!! - AND THEN SHE HUNG UP

I was shaking like a leaf and was just staring at the phone.. thinking ....oh my God this woman is really evil and mean ...and i just told her my full name .. ...why was she being so horrible to me... ..what did I do wrong.....?I was sso worried and though what if she looks up our address in the telephone directory and turns up at our door step..........I dismissed the though and tried to calm myself down.

About half an hour later, I was heard some people talking outside and decided to see what was going on....There was a white Peugeot 305 parked between out house and our neighbours and there was a woman sitting in the car chatting to our next door neighbour's wife....I thought nothing of it and decided that to water the flowers in that front garden as it was one of my daily duties once the sun was beginning to set...Just as I stepped out unto the veranda to get the watering hose, i noticed that the conversation that was going on between my neighbour and the woman in the car had stopped and they were both staring at me ....as if I had done something wrong.

Damn this post is getting longer and longer I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO POST THE second half IN MY NEXT UPDATE.....

Let me give you a hint the woman had come to cause trouble..........

Hooked on ........

2008-01-24T09:20:00.000-08:00

This feeling....

of not caring what anyone thinks anymore

that nothing else matters as long as I have HIM by myside

that feeling of peace

that feeling of calm

that feeling of content

that feeling of safety when Im in his presence

Thoughts of him bring smiles to my face

He is always there for me

Says the right things at the right time

Makes me feel loved

He is ............

My Friend

My Lover

My Strength

My Shoulder to lean on

My Comforter

My Teacher

My Soul mate

He is all I have ever needed and more......

Is this what it feels like to be in love cos if it is then .....

I AM HOOKED ON LOVE !!

If this really is LOVE,

then why would anyone want to take something so kind and pure away from me?

Lipstick & Breast Cancer....Spread the word!

2008-01-11T16:50:00.000-08:00

I Hope everyone is doing ok sha!!! I sound like Omo Naija now dont I? I have to practice abi...lol I know what you are all thinking..ANOTHER UPDATE ALREADY !!!....I begi you people better enjoy it for now till i decide to into hiding like 9jamommy and ..................oh yes An Ibo Dudes Corner ........(if I have missed anyone out ..please pencil yourself in there jejely)

Anyway so my plan was to wait until I had about 30 comments like all the blogville pros ie: 30+ , 36 Inches of brown legs, Atutupoyoyo , Ex - Schoolnerd , catwalq , Princesa & Queen of my castle and co but I got an email from a friend that I needed to share with all yall as i feel its quiet important and dont worry JESUS has not yet been spotted in Africa and the word is not comming to an end...lol.. here i go again. Well, let me so starigth to the point. one of my girl friend sent me this in an email.....(I said that earlier on aabi...ok just read on..let me copy and paste)

LIPSTICK AND BREAST CANCER

From: Dr. Nahid Neman Who works in the breast cancer unit at Mt. Sinai Hospital , in Toronto .

If there is a female you care anything about, Share this with her. I did!!!!!I am also sharing this with the males on my e-mail list(on blogville in my case ), Because they need to tell the females that they care about as well!

Recently a lipstick brand called 'Red Earth' Decreased their prices from $67 to $9.90.

It contained lead. Lead is a chemical which causes cancer. The lipstick brands that contain lead are:

CHRISTIAN DIOR, LANCOME , CLINIQUE, Y.S.L, ESTEE LAUDER, SHISEIDO, RED EARTH (Lip Gloss), CHANEL (Lip Conditioner), MARKET AMERICA-MOTNES LIPSTICK.

The higher the lead content, The greater the chance of causing cancer. After doing a test on lipsticks, It was found that the Y.S.L. Lipstick Contained the most amount of lead. Watch out for those lipsticks Which are supposed to stay longer. If your lipstick stays longer, it is Because of the higher content of lead.

Here is the test you can do yourself:

1. Put some lipstick on your hand.

2. Use a Gold ring to scratch on the lipstick

3. If the lipstick color changes to black, Then you know the lipstick contains lead.

Please SHARE this information with all your girlfriends, Wives and female family members. This information is being circulated at Walter Reed Army Medical Center, Dioxin Carcinogens cause cancer,Especially breast cancer.

------------------END OF EMAIL -------------------------

I havent tried out the test myself as Vaseline and MAC lip gloss are my only friends when it comes to my lips but I am curious to find out if it really works. What baffles me is why the hell these brands continue to use lead in thier products knowing that it poses such a health risk to its consumers.....why dont they just find a healthy substitue for LEAD?!!Feel free to research the above information and do share your findings with the rest of us.

SHARE WHAT U KNOW ........SHARING IS CARING

LATER PEEPS......NUFF LOVE! X X XX

Hope_full.....!!

2008-01-04T09:50:00.000-08:00

Happy New Year Peeps!!! May God Almighty Grant all our hearts desires, May He shower us with His blessing and give us the courage to face this year and all the challenges that life has in store for us....My 2008 be a year of Joy, Peace, Grace, Prosperity, New Jobs, Good Health, May relationships and marriages grow from strength to strength, may the single guys and babes out there find their life partners (u know urselves..) and may our lives be filled with all that we wish and pray for(add ur own..)...................................

WE THANK YOU LORD FOR ANOTHER YEAR!! Amen!!

So I saw the New Year in with Thanks and Praise to God and it was such a good feeling.2007 was gone with all its drama and bad belle.... I walked out of Church feeling like a new person...Like I had been given another chance to start all over again and get things right.....I felt soooo REFRESHED!!

The a few things happened in the last couple of weeks before the New Year that i just did not understand:
Mr decided to spend Christmas and the New Year in Lagos and i refused to go because i had a lot of revision to do....and I had wanted to go to Ghana NOT Naija,as I was feeling very homesick but the only thing that stopped me from going was my exams and also because I just wasn't ready to deal with with any drama from my mum... if i decided to send Christmas and the New Year in Lagos for the 4th time... So Mr was bent on celebrating Elaya in Lagos and there was no way I was going to change his mind.....so he went oohhhh and I was sooo upset with him because I thought that he was being very selfish by leaving me to spend the holidays on my own with my non existent family...My mum the workaholic worked over the holidays.. my sister stayed outside London and my brother stayed at home most of the time just watching telly and working on his dissertation.....HOW FUN EI??

Lets just say Christmas was very drrryyyyyyy, and i vowed that it will be the last one I will ever spend on my own in the hope of doing anything with my so called family....

Mr and a few of his friend decided to drive to Ghana for a few days as there wasn't much happening in Lagos...... You can just imagine how pissed off i was when he mentioned it to me .. because it was not part of the plan and i felt like he was punishing me for not going to Lagos with him......But guess what?? I t was actually a very productive trip because I was able to arrange for Mr to meet up with My Uncle, Auntie and Cousins who he occasionally speaks to over the phone.....so its fair to say he met a few on his soon to be In- laws and they loved him to bits.....THANK GOD!!

There have been a lot of discussions since then and lets just say that next year by this time I will be a Mrs by Gods grace......can i get an AMEN!!

I have a very good feeling about this year and know that God is about to perform wonders in my life!

My mum is still not on board but trust God she will be on board in a few months if not weeks by Gods grace...!!

So MR and I have agreed on December 2008 as the month for our Engagement and Wedding....dates are yet to be finalised. I'm really excited about this and I feel very positive about things moving forward..all Mr has to do now is to pop the question......oohhh i just cant wait. We are still carrying out a few formalities to involve my mum and to get her to come around but lets just say I am not holding my breath .....NO one is going to kill my joy ooohhhhh...God forbid......lol. I am on a high at the moment but all that aside i still need to concentrate on my exams but i cant help it ...I keep visiting all these wedding sites.....I know ..I'm loosing it..........I'm just excited.. Lord knows what i will do when Mr finally proposes..WATCH THIS SPACE!!

THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH AND MY SALVATION WHO SHALL I FEAR??!.......NOBODY!!

STAY BLESSED ...... I'M OUT..... X XX X

JESUS is the reason for the season....

2007-12-24T02:58:00.000-08:00

The plan was to wait till after the holidays before updating but I got an email about the history of Christmas and thought it was cool...so I have decided to share it my blogville family just to emphasise one of the points that i made in my last blog Christmas is dead...!!! about the main reason why we celebrate Christmas as it has become a lot more commercialised therefore losing its true meaning.

As Christmas is here and the New Year hangs around the corner, lets use it as an opportunity to reflect and Thank God for His Goodness and Mercys . He has afforded us the opportunity to see another Christmas and by His grace, another Year.

THE REASON WE'RE CELEBRATING CHRISTMAS!

The ancient Christians decided to bring the celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ around the same time the pagans were celebrating their week long festivities in honour of their sun god. This was done so that Christians would not be attracted to the things of the world and how the unbelievers celebrate their gods.

We serve the living God so let's not forget that in celebrating this yuletide we're only saying: ''JESUS THANK YOU FOR KEEPING US SAFE AND SOUND THROUGHOUT THE YEAR AND DYING TO SAVE US FROM OUR SINS''. Who said it's easy? But we can all be Holy if only we try. Being Holy as a Christian is in the little things; like KEEPING YOUR WORD! HUSBANDS AND WIVES REMAINING FAITHFUL TO EACH OTHER; KEEPING YOUR INTEGRITY NO MATTER THE SITUATION; BEING HONEST IN YOUR DEALINGS; ETC. ETC.

As you rush for your gifts and trees and decorations. Let it remind you to make the same preparations in your life BECAUSE JESUS IS COMING AGAIN. ASK YOURSELF, IS YOUR LIFE PRESENTABLE ENOUGH TO IMPRESS HIM LIKE YOU'VE DECORATED YOUR HOUSE TO IMPRESS YOUR GUESTS?

MERRY CHRIST-MAS TO YOU ALL AND A BLESSED 2008! REMEMBER... IT'S ALL ABOUT JESUS!!!

Christmas is dead...!!!

2007-12-18T10:10:00.000-08:00

Is it just me or is Christmas just not the same....I mean i cant even remember the last time that i celebrated Christmas. All I remember are my childhood days back home (Ghana) when my I looked forward to comming home from Church on Christmas day to help my mum make Lunch, which consisted of A Special pot of Jollof Rice, Fried Rice, grilled Chicken/fsh, Kelewele, Potato chips, a variety of Salads and after feasting aon all that, we had fan ice cream with my aunties special Christmas cake.....Awww the good old days.

I attended our work christmas do yesterday and I can you believe that it was there for only 30mins..it was just soo dry and I guess it was also because omost of my team members have already travelled abroad for the holidays.Wwhats going on?Is it just me or is Christmas really dead as my friend described it.

I feel that Christmas loses it hype as we grow older and older and what kills it even quicker is if your not fortunate enough to go back home for the holidays. Christmas in has become soo comercialised that it has lost its true meaning. It seems to be all about sending loads of money buying presents which people end up not using anyway......
What even kills it for me is that is that MR. and I are spending christmas apart this year as he is off to Lagos as I write and I am stuck here in this stupid cold ass country because I have a lot of revision to do for my exams in January and I also have my dissertation to work on. So I am on my Jack jones this Christmas and ooh dont even think about me spending time with my family cus I dunno haow to play happy families with people who dont give a toss about you. I beggg ooohh I will just burry my head in my books and haung out with the girls if I get bored.
But honestly is it just me and is it fair to say that Christmas is DEAD or rather that I my Christmas spirit is DEAD?!!
I'm so going to miss my man any suggestions of things that I can do to survive holidays without my Sweetie : (

Im ssoo homesick here a few of the things that I miss the most :

1) Hot & Sunny Weather

2)The Beach (Sand, Sea breeze, Palm Trees...)

3) My favourite Ice Cream

4)Home made Kenkey

5) Boufrot(Puff - Puff)

Anyway ...What are you guys up to for the holidays.....?! Im off for a refill of my Tia Maria and Coke.......IM SOOO BORED !!!
In the mean time......Happy Holidays, Merry Christmas People..................xx x x

Goingz onssssss........

2007-12-10T11:54:00.000-08:00

Damn.......I didn't realise I had been gone for that long....then again it hasn't been that long...just a few weeks and I am already being harassed by the Blogville update squad Nyemoni, Olamild, Queen of My Castle...oh and not forgetting the ever cheeky princesa na wah for u this chic oohhh going on about ''I was first, i hope to be last.Oya update!!!'' Ah ah!!

I have just had soo many things to do mhen..busy busy busy!! honestly.. the life of a student (and a young woman who is just trying to live her life jejely). Thank God I am almost at the end of that road...Graduation is a few months away but lets just say yours truely still has a lot to do. I've still got my exams coming up in January, which sucks cus it means no proper Christmas celebrations for me....my dissertation is due a few months afterand then the final batch of Exams in June and then I WILL BE FREEEEEEEEE ...!! Its been a long time coming... anyone who is considering taking a year out of thier studies (especially to work) do not do it ooohhhhh. See where it got me... I got carried away with working and earning money and totally lost track of the years ......10 yrs later......here I am trying to graduate at the age of 50.....lol (JOKE GOTCHA!!)........I didn't take that much time off and I am not 50 yet even though it feels like it...lol

I have also been trying to plan my future as I want to start the year 2008 off on a positive note and on an all time high as I feel that God has a lot of things in store for me.....I have never been one to make plans or resolutions for the new year but I feel I need to as that is the only way froward for me, in terms of my future with MR: Getting married, starting our own family and living MY LIFE the way God wants me to.....NOT THE WAY MY MUM AND MY FAMILY WANT ME TO!

I have finally started planning my dream wedding......and trust me its not been easy....how do you start planning your wedding without the support of your own family.....I thank God for surrounding me with friend s and loved ones who continue to encourage and support me.

My situation just feels so weird, here I am brainstorming themes, colours , venues and so on withoutthe knowledge of / support from my family .

I have accepted the fact that they might never come around to respecting my decision and choice as to who I want to spend the rest of my life with.... but deep down there is still a bit of hope that they will come around before the D Day.

In the mean time MR and I are still doing all that we can to make sure that we do things the right way...just to put them to shame and to prove them wrong. I can just imagine how Mr feels about this whole situation and I know that he continues to stay positive when there isn't even a shadow of hope. I just pray that God continues to bless him with patience and the strength to endure all the harsh treatment that he continues to receive from my family because I know that it hurts him so much but he continues to do all that he can to get over it. Its just frustrating!!

We went window shopping for rings a few weeks ago.... just browsing ooh I beg.....I take it he just wanted to get a feel of what i like and will be expecting when he finally decides to propose. It was fun though and I hope he got all the hints that i dropped because that ring better he off the hooook!!! Or else i will i will say NO !! lie lie I WILL SAY YESS OOOHHH even if he produces an elsatic band in a match box......lol

The search for my wedding gown begins after the Christmas break as I have decided to start shopping knowing how fusssy I am and just so I have enough time to set up my saving for it.....Lord help me. But there are are still two major things that Mr and I are planning to carry out in the next couple of weeks:

He has been advised to come and see my mum to make his intentions known and to ask when it will be best to send his family members over to meet her......this is our last resort in the situation as she didn't take me serious when I broke the news to her a few months back BREAKING THE NEWS - Update . This will be her chance to tell MR what she really thinks of him and this whole relationship of ours, as she has never confronted MR about our relationship and the fact that she does not approve of him.

The outcome of this meeting will determine the next step towards our future together as Mr and I will have to travel to Ghana to see the elders of my late dads family and to inform them of the situation and our intention to get married, as custom demands that I be given away for marriage by my dad/ His family. They are will therefore be able to give me away for marriage even without my mum approval. Hopefully that will give my mum a wake up call and if it doesn't I don't know what will.

So there is still a lot more drama to come as the next couple of weeks are going to present me with some more emotional ups and downs....Lord help me!!

I have just got so much going on in my head....one minutes Im so happy over the moon that I am finally planning to get married to the Love of my life..and then the next minute I feel so sad cus i cant even pick up the phone to shre that joy with my family especilay my mum...

God willing things will go smoothly...but i kinda doubt that a little when it involes my mum....

Anyways Dissertation calllls ......I'm off to draft my methodology....lol.....l8r peeps xxxx

30 Days of Thanksgiving Day 22

2007-11-22T12:47:00.000-08:00

I see that the tagging season is in full swing......people wont even give u the chance to have the sun go down on your post oooh next thing...they tag you again or someone else tags you.....haaba!!
For all you blogville crusaders I know its your way of getting people to update..... but the most important part of it all is that is helps us to get to know each other a lot better (7 wired/ Random Things) it also helps us share our lows (in updates) and our highs in tagging posts such as this one.

I was tagged by Zena my Sister from another mother...... I started blogging as a way of getting things off my chest ....dunno how i even discovered blogville ... oh now i remember i serching for latest Naija fashion news on google and came across Bella Naija's blog....the rest is history.......

I know my blogs usually address all the drama in my day to day life and sometimes makes me come across as one sad and dippresed cow, which is not the case as there good Lord always brings me out of the storms of life and gives me the strength to move on......Lets just say:

GOD HAS BEEN GOOD TO ME and i am therefore vey thankful .....!!

Father Lord.....You have good to me in all my 20something years on this earth, you have been :

My Redeemer My healer, My Strength, My Friend, My Advocate, My Restorer, My Bread for life, My Hiding place, My Rock, My Everlasting light, My Counsellor, My Spirit of truth & My refuge from the storm

OOOOOHHH Lord i could go on forever..........

I am thankful for the gift of life that gave to me and for the fact that you continue to grant me the opportunity to see the sun rise and set day after day
I am thankful for my family even thought they drive me up the wall and back but i know that you have presented with this challenge for a reason
I am thankful for the wonderful people in my life and on blogville who continue to continue encourage and support me in good and bad times
I am thankful for my good health and for the strength you continue to provide me
I am thankful for the man in my life who loves me even at my worst
I am thankful for the roof over my head
I am thankful for the dreams / visions that i continue to have about my dad (to let me know that he is still with me in spirit)
I am thankful for all the times that you carried me when the storms of life presented themselves in the worst way
I am thankful for the opportunity that u have given me to get to know you better
I am thankful for the ever supporting brothers, sisters and friends that i have come to know on blogville for all the miracles that u continue to perform in their lives:for Princesa 's mum, for Ugo Daniels's new Job, 30+'s new flat, 36 Inches of brown legs 's new bobo..lol, for 9jamommy's family, Aijay and her man, for An Ibo Dudes Corner's promotion and and his may trips, Bella Naija 's gist, Belle's recent weight loss, Calabar Girl 's strength to run all those maratons, Carl with a C 's sense of humor, catwalq 's origionality and cheekiness, Copido's new job, Ex - Schoolnerd's talent and sense of humour, Fatoumata's courage, guerreiranigeriana's many adventurous gists, Jaja's safe return from camp in one piece , for London Buki's mum, Mr Fine Boy 's talent, Mrs Somebody 's black jeans, for Naapalilife's career and family, for Naija gal's gists, for nyemoni 's peggie state, for Olamild& Onada's many talents, Overwhelmed Naija Babe's long legs that seem to attract a lot of attention, for Pink Satin who i miss very much, for Queen of my castle's truthfulness, for my newly developing bond of sisterhood withSha Crown, solomonsydelle and her lil monster squad who make me soooo broody, Teediva!! and her wild imagination and talent, undacovasista and her many trips and pictures that make me want to go on holiday, unNaked Soul's originality, Wedding Vouge's many ideas to get me in the mood, Write freak's talent and last but not the least for Zena who tagged me and gave me the opportunity to count me blessings and be thankful for them.

Happy moments, PRAISE GOD!

Difficult moments, SEEK GOD!!

Quiet moments, WORSHIP GOD!!!

Painful moments, TRUST GOD!!!!

Every moment, THANK GOD!!!!!

I THANK YOU OH LORD!!!!!!

I have tagged Queen of my castle & Naapalilife ... I am out .. x x x x x

My First Meme- Weird/Random Facts about me

2007-11-19T09:55:00.000-08:00

You guys are soo amazing.. i mean the support and love that you guys show me is soo overwhelming and gives me a ray of hope... I LOVE YOU GUYS SOO MUCH AND MAY GOD ALMIGHTY BLESS YOU IN ALL YOU DO!! Amen!

Ok Ok Arewa pull yourself together now!! So Zena tagged me just as i put up my last post and can you believe the girl tagged me again less than a week after.....and then What happens ...princesa also catches the tagging fever and tags me.....Nah wah for your girls ooh U wan kill me ......I'm being tagged all ova the damn place but no shaking... bring it on!!
So here goes ....... (Zena you better be reading this or else........)

This damn thing is even more difficult than I thought... i cant seem to think of any weird things about myself, so i guess i will go for random that's if i can think if any.....

1) I have never used a public toilet in my life .....i just cant do it no matter how hard i try not even in MacDonalds.....so i end up holding my weewee till i get to my final destination and trust me it not easy at all especially in the winter awwwww
I have been told that its bad habit to hold wee for that lon but I just cant do it!!

2)I can not stand the smell of bananas when other people eat them around me. Especially if the banana is very ripe...But i absolutely enjoy eating them myself

3)Now don't get me wrong on this one... I dont have a shoe fetish oooh..But the first think I look out for when i see a good looking guy( my kinda guy) anywhere be it it the shop, on the bus where ever... the next thing i look at are his shoes...if they are crusty and battered then he is a no no...and if his trousers rise up to / swing at his ankles when he sits down(and do not rest his shoes)then he has absolutely no chance...this was my criteria for men who tried to toast me and i still use it up till today even though i have a man.....so lets just say the length of a mans trousers and the state of his shoes tell me a lot about the sort of man he is......

4)I dance a lot better in front of my mirror than when I'm out in Public......I swear i could win the dance championships by dancing in front of my bedroom mirror .

I start of dancing like i have two left feet and then it gets a bit better but never as good as the steps i produce in my bedroom.

5)I always fantasied about getting married to an Oyinbo and having mixed race kids with long thick hair, when i was a kid. Only God only knows what the hell i was thinking back then.......I LOVE ME A STRONG BLACK MAN..A NAIJA ONE FOR THAT MATTER.....WINK WINK

6)I am totally against girls/ women who wash their panties in washing machines together with the rest of their clothes.......I am a traditionalist when it comes to washing of underwear.....i believe that panties should be washed by hand for best results and not in washing machines....i was thought to wash my panties proper proper by hand and my aunties were always there to inspect them to make sure that they were nice and clean

7)My first attempt at kissing a boy took place when i was 16 and trust me i couldn't even hack that i jumped when he tried to introduce his tongue into the whole equation....oh boy i was such a wussssss then (when all my mates had perfected the art of dropping it like its hot and the art of titillation...you know what i mean) ohhh the joys of teenage life.

The dude still teases me up till today...loL

DONE !!So there you go 7 wired and random facts about me.......

I am supposed to Tag 7 random people at the end of my post and include links to their blogs, so if you see your name below it means that i don tag you oohhhhh and don't act like you ain't seen it..Jaja, Ugo Daniels, guerreiranigeriana, Naapali, Belle, Writefreak & Sha

Have a nice week people...I'm out x x x

Letting it all out !!

2007-11-14T11:00:00.000-08:00

Im hereee ooooh . Heres your update SOLOMONSYDELLE. Sha we are cool now..haaba..lol
How is everyone one doing.....?! Oh and Zena just in acse ur wondering my meme soon come.....

God has been good to us and has blessed us with another week which is almost comming to an end.....May He continue to have mercy on us and grant us peace in all that we do and May He continue to give us the strenth and courage to dea with the challenges that we face in our daily dealings.....Amen!!

Thanx for all the comments to my last blog... Esi's relationship is just a mystery to me .. I just cant understand why things just dont seem to be working out for them but maybe they just arent meant to be.

Esi and her man had a talk the other day and as usual nothing useful came out of it soo....my girl claims that her relationship is coming to an end.. i know she still loves him and is finding it hard to let go but ........i think she will do so in her own time. I just feel for her as she is soo depressed. Why do some relationships have to be soo full of drama....

Anyway moving on ......so i have had a bit of an emotional week and have to get it all of my chest so here goes:

Dreams become a road Though we cannot see, But yet from a path That shapes reality. Then the unmanifest is etched by pure design. The dreams are bought to life When faith and effort combine. For these are needed tools To carve a pathway through, The tunnel of success Which lies deep inside you. Though you see no path, Proceed with faith as eyes, For only by stepping out, Will the road before you rise.

.......i have beeen looking at my life in a very different light since breaking the news to my mum and it feels a bit weird. For once its all about me and no one else... i am training myself say NO! and to put myself first as no one (family) is prepared to do that for me and continue to be selfish in every way.

Reality hit me when i was down with the flu.....You see the thing is that I have 2 siblings ..an older sister then brother and i am the last. My sister suffers from sickle cell which means that she cant really do much and always needs to take things easy......My brother on the other hand is a mummy's boy, who continues to kiss my mums ass at his age (34) he does this and sides up with my mum even when she is wrong.....this his way of draw attention away from the things that he gets up to(dating all sorts of girls..and getting up to no good) he also has traits of Sickling but not as bad a s my sisters.

Ok so back to what i was saying.... I decided to go and see my GP on monday and fancied some light soup- Ghanaian version of pepper soup. Will u believe that i had to get on the busy after my appointment to go to the shops just to get meat fish and a few things to make myself soup....I ended up not being able to even eat the soup after making it as i had lost my appetite.

The reason why i felt so sorry for myself was that ........no one in my family mother, brother or sister even considered making soup for me. the point i am trying t make is that i felt like i was invincible to my family ....no one bothered to ask ..ah what do you really Fancy oooh?!

And yet when my mother needs something ..i will be the first person that she calls, when my siblings are in hospital, i am always the one who runs around doing hospital runs alongside work and my studies and yet when it come to me no one seem to be bothered. Dont get me wrong my mum called me on 2 occasions to see how i was doing but all of that was just ceremony... there was no feeling of care or sympathy from her.......my sister called on a few occasions my brother just asked me as few times if i wanted to try other forms of medication......all in tones that did not really show any care what so ever.
As a child, i always imagined that i will be spoilt and pampered as the last baby of the family but its been the opposite for me.....i have been maltreated and taken for granted by the people that are supposed to be my family.

When people talk to me and tell me about how important family is......what i ask them is a family is only important when they lend you support, show you love and make you feel like you belong. What good is a family that shows no love and only seems to want your downfall.

GOD FORBID OOH NOT ANYMORE......!!

I know that the bible says to forgive people who offend you......but how do you forgive people who offend you to the point of trying to take away your identity and wish you no good. specially when they continue to disrespect and maltreat you constantly.

I am only human and as hard as i try , theses things still get to me and all i do is pray for God to forgive them and ask him to for the strength to forgive them and move on with my life.......BUT HOW LONG DO I HAVE TO GO ON LIVING LIKE THIS .........?? HOW MUCH LONGER......THIS CANT BE RIGHT NOW......!!

I STARTED OFF WRITING THIS BLOG THINKING IT WAS JUST GOING TO BE A SHORT UPDATE .....AND I HAVE JUST REALISED HOW MUCH I HAVE BEEN GOING ON......I GUESS I JUST NEEDED TO GET THIS OFF MY CHEST.

Theres soo much hurt in my heart that has been caused by my family but I am working on it and Iam letting it all go. I am trying to cleanse my heart and soul of all the hurt and pain that they have caused me over the last 10years.

I will give u a bit more insight as that moths go by ... but this part of my cleansing process.....with GOD LEADING THE WAY AND WITH HIS RAY OF LIGHT SHOWING ME THE WAY..... I KNOW I WILL MAKE IT........!!

Lord help me ... YOU ARE ALL I HAVE......MY STRENGTH AND MY SALVATION.......COME TO MY RESCUE!!!

I love u but..I dont TRUST u!!

2007-11-07T11:59:00.000-08:00

Guess who is back in full swing.........me, maself and I ....the flu finally got the message and buggered off. Still feel a bit funky now and then but my GP claims that i should be ok by next week....Thank God for that cause there was no way i was going to be taking anymore agbo jedijedi and all those pescribed tablets.Trust me it was soo bad that MR started to call me a Druggie.....the bloody cheek.

Thanks for all the get well wishes and to those of u who didnt bother wishing me well ... lets just say ....WE SHALL SEE..(U know who u r..lol)

Ok so now i need your help people...... just a few ideas because i just cant seem to get my head around this whole issue:

One of my very good friends from back in the day called me just the other day to see how i was doing as we hadnt spoken in a quiet a while as we had both been really busy(lets call her Esi).....so I strated on the usual note asking about her family, her studies, work and then finally her man....she was answering as i threw the questions at her but i sensed a bit of hesitation when i asked about her man....all she said was ahh he is there compaired to the usual oh he is fine ooh ..i even just got of the phone with him blah blah blah...

So i started probing and probing.....next thing my friend just broke down in tears....saying how she was fed up and didnt know if she can deal with all of this anymore....Esi and her man have been togather for 8yrs and there has always been a bit of insecurity on her mans side.. he gets very paranoid when Esi fails to pick up his calls, he gets very jealous when she mentions her male friends or male aquientance even her Doctor.....as he had accused her of having something to do with him a while ago just because she felt very unwell a while ago and had to keep going in for regular check ups.

Heres a typical example....... Esi left her phone in a taxi last week and luckily had the phone returned to her local station a few hours later......there were about 10 missed calls on her phone 8 of which were from him....The phone rings a few minutes later the phone rings and Esi picks up:

Esi: Helloo?

Boyfriend: So ur picking up my call now?! i take it that u have finished doing whatever it wa u were doing with him

Esi: What r u on about.....i left my phone in a taxi and had it retured not even up to 10mins ago

Boyfriend: U mean u have finished with the man that uwerwe with sooo u can pick up now ..isny it?!

Esi: I dont know aht u r talking about.. did u not hear what i just told u

Boyfriend: U keep on doing whatever t is ur doing..we shall seee(then he hungs up)

Now in the begining when Esi use to complain to me about her mans behaviour.. I use to tell her that He would change after a while as he just needed some reassurance from her and we put it down to the fact thathe might have been really hurt in the past.....and also due to that fact that Esi is a very attractive young woman who turns heads whereever she goes......

But how do u begin understand this when it has gone on for soo long. What does it take to earn the trust f a man like this?.. I honestly dont know how Esi managed to put up with this for soo long .....I guess deep down she has always had some hope that things will change and that she would earn his trust somehow.....she has never cheated on him and has always been very true to him so where is all this comming from? And what happens now as he has started saying things like 'maybe u two should not be together anymore' and saying things like 'I LOVE U BUT I CANT TRUST U'?

What do i say to encourage her to keep holding on...or do i just tell her to up and go ? How long will u put up with a guy or a girl like this?Where does one start from when u break up from an 8yr relationship?

I honestly dont know how thier relationship has managed to thrive for 8yrs in this condition as I have always believed that TRUST is one of the most important elements that steers a relation in the right way....

Nothing but love xx x

2007-11-01T12:18:00.000-07:00

Charlie Eti sen as my Ashanti Country man will say. ok now in Naija Fashion Wetin dey my people? ...lol Dont mind me just messing around...Im still a bit overwhelmed from the love and support that you guys showed on my last post topic..wow!! acainto, Zena, The Last King Of Scotland, WendyB, akin, Unbiased, Naapali, Ugo Daniels , Sassy, anonymous gal , Queen of My Castle , Writefreak, Aijay, Belle, Fatoumatta , Nyemoni, Olamild, 30+ , guerreiranigeriana , NikkiSab, AN IBO DUDE'S CORNER , 9jamommy, 36 INCHES OF BROWN LEGS, UnNaked Soul , Jinta , Teediva, cally-waffybabe , Overwhelmed Naija Babe, CATWALQ a.k.a LAGBA-JESS , princesa, UndaCovaSista ...I have got nothing but love for yalll, May God Almighty Continue to guide and bless you in all you do. AMEN

Those of you asking about wedding websites and Bridezilla Diaries ...na wah for you ooh...ibi like say i yan una say MR don propose...you guys are on another level ooh....but anyways no shaking as the jamaican man says 'soon come'!

My week hasnt been that great (no worries nothing to do with momsi...i'm so over her and her shakara) I have been struggeling with the flu for that past 2 weeks. Went to see my GP on Monday after taking a full dose of flu medicine plus Agbo gedijedi as adviced by MR. (who was begining to think that i was preggienant) only to be told by the doctor that (waiteeee now... i am not pregnant oooh so 4get dat..lol) I have a viral flu which takes up to 2 to 4 weeks to cure! 2 - 4 weeks ke....LORD HELP ME!

You see the reason why i am a bit upset is that ....MR and I have had a house guest visiting from Naija for the past 3 months and we were planing to have a dirty weekend(wink wink) this weekend. So it meant no hanky panky as the last thing i want to do is pass my flu on to MR and plus my stamina is not quiet up to speed...lol

So my next couple of weeks will be spent in bed....trying to nurse this aje Flu, while working on my assignments and hearing MR scream GOAL...BABA GOAL, AWOR....from the living room as he watches Man U the likes play footie.

I AM FUUUUMMMING!!!

None the less I must say things havent been that bad as i have been living my life like its GOLDEN(in Jill Scotts words) Taking everyday as it comes......

Anyway enough blabbing ..Im off to take my next dose of DAY NURSE......

Yall stay blessed and have a wonderful weekend.... i know I WONT.....l8r xx x