Mereknits

Myakka Elephant Sanctuary

2025-04-27T14:55:00.001-04:00

Yesterday I had a thrill of a lifetime, we went to the Myakka Elephant Sanctuary about 80 minutes from our house. I had planned to visit during spring break but they were booked for all of March and well into April. It was so worth the drive and the wait.

Little Buddy had a rough afternoon Friday and a rough morning yesterday, something I am not used to anymore as his behavior has been really wonderful for several months. He is a growing boy with lots of hormones so that is not helping. I was worried the day was going to be ruined by his attitude but a long car ride seemed to help sooth out his grumpy wrinkles and he ended up having a really good time.

We opted for the Q & A encounter, it was more in my budget range but you can have bathing and food encounters where you get to take care of the elephants, wash them, learn about their needs, fix their food and help feed them. We learned all about the three elephants they have on site, two ladies in their 30's and the beautiful Asian elephant with the freckles is 52. We learned about how much they eat a day, their weight, different kinds of elephants and about their distinct personalities. The African elephant in the middle loves to grab everyone's hay and cause a bit of mischief, she's the one in the photo of both of us. They are all in the 7,000 pound weight range with the lovely African elephant in the bottom photo weight 7,900 pounds. They eat 300 pounds of food a day, 50 of grain, 50 of fruits/veggies and 200 pounds of straw!

I adore elephants and to be this close and learn was so wonderful especially as they are in a beautiful place where they are loved and cherished. To be able to be this close, touch their beautiful trunks and heads was so incredible. I even had one wrap her trunk around my leg and pinch me a bit on my ankle! I think Little Buddy liked the facts and as usual while we were there he wasn't that thrilled but perked up when we talked about the experience at dinnertime.

If you are ever in Florida I would highly recommend this adventure, it is a beautiful place taking such brilliant care of these beautiful ladies.

Hope you all have a wonderful week.

Spring is here............

2025-04-13T13:22:00.000-04:00

Just a quick pop in to say hello and tell you all I have been thinking about you.

We took a walk out on the Osprey Trail at Honeymoon Island State Park today, not all the way to the eagles nest but to the osprey nest that was closer to the parking lot. We got to see this amazing nest with a baby poking it's head up. We also saw four great horned owls, this is a parent who was off about 50 feet from the babies, and I am assuming Mom was closer to the babies on look out. Mom and the babies were in areas of the trees I could not get photos of. Last time we were here those babies were still in the nest, now they are almost full grown and were sitting on a limb tucked close together.

Little Buddy did not complain as much today and managed about 1 1/2 miles with a brief rest when we made it to the nesting area. It was so beautiful outside we just had to go. We saw the new Minecraft Movie yesterday, he loved it and I thought it was way, way over the top. He paid attention the entire movie which is a big deal for him. We had Little Buddy's best friend from school over on Friday. She is going to another school next year so his heart is breaking a bit. There is so much change with the administration, teachers and kids leaving the school I am not sure what to think, but it really is the only school he can go to at the moment so I am trying to take a deep breath and let things play out. These changes are in addition to the many changes he has living in two seperate homes, sometimes he tells me he can't handle any more changes and I completely understand how he feels.

Grand dog Luna is here for the weekend while her parents went to a wedding. She is looking movie star ready in her new collar. Hank and Bear were so excited to see her. Bear looks ready for a belly rub and Hank looks ever so concerned about life as he usually does have the weight of the world on his shoulders.

I had Covid two weeks ago and I am still recovering, it knocked me out for a few days. So being outside today for a leisurely stroll with my Buddy was the perfect medicine I needed. It has been a long few weeks with lots going on as is usual for me and my situation. The poor father I talked about in my last post passed away the following day after my post. His celebration of life ceremony was last weekend and was just heartbreaking, gone at 53 with complications from Flu A, it's such a waste.

Stay safe my friends, take care of your health and mental well being during these extremely chaotic times.

Is it Spring already?

2025-03-21T17:33:00.004-04:00

Hi everyone? How can it be late March already? It is Spring Break here for Little Buddy, he has been living the life of leisure this week. I, on the other hand have been working until today, I took the day off to be with this guy. The later pictures in this post are from today, an unexpected cool day out but so beautiful, I dared to get Little Buddy out and about on a walk by Lake Tarpon. He grouched so much I had to threaten him with screen time deductions if he kept it up. Last weekend we made it to my Honeymoon Island to walk on a two mile trail to see the eagles nest. I took this photo of the eagles a few days before when I went to check out the walk to see if it was Little Buddy accessible. It was but it was still a bit long for him, there are sandy parts that make it a little bit more tiring for him and boy was he tired at the end. I heard about it all the way home!

The beach restoration project for the north beach is done, it is so beautiful, I can't believe what a difference it made. However, now there is no way to really get this guy on the beach. The areas that are accessible are far too rocky. I will have to figure this out because I think it is important for him to be able to go the the beach. I live by many beaches but Honeymoon Island is a state park so there are no big buildings and for the most part it is family friendly. It has been too chilly to go and sit at the beach but it won't be for long so I better get a solution going quick.

It has been a bit too depressing to write for many reasons if I am to be honest. The state of our country gets measurably worse each and everyday. It is beyond comprehension the devastation going on. I can't watch the news but get blurbs of information from reputable news sites and its just devastating. I fear for all of us. I fear for our kids and grandchildren growing up in a country that will be unrecognizable in a very short time. I fear for Little Buddy with his complex medical, physical, emotional and educational needs, I can't sleep at night thinking of how I can't financially support him if his services are cut, but let's not go there. Deep breaths, right? He has also had some emotional situations at school with one child that I finally had to step in and put my Occupational Therapist hat on and explain the issue between the two children. I don't think the school thinks about children with conflicting sensory systems and how that impacts their interactions and ability to learn. Keep in mind it is a school for children who learn differently. Well they do now after about ten emails because suddenly Little Buddy is no longer getting ridiculous lunch detentions for his response to a child who is not being kind but is actually bullying him. There are always conflicts with Little Buddy's other parent and the sheer ludicrous things that happen when Little Buddy is away from me. I am constantly debriefing him and trying to fix it all and tell him what is right and all that, frankly I am exhausted. And the saddest thing is it is never going to end so I have to find a way to be less exhausted by the constant bombardment heading my way.

Many of the children I work with have been so ill this year. I have had four in the hospital at once for extended stays. It starts with the flu and moves into pneumonia, one child was in for three weeks, came home and went in for another five weeks. And a very sad situation has happened to one of the families I work with, the very healthy 53 year old father came down with the flu and one week later was in the ICU sedated and on a respirator, he has been like this for 7 weeks and he is declining, a healthy father and grandfather, hard working and loved by his family is not going to make it. I know you have all suffered loses that seem completely horrific and so completely senseless, they change the trajectory of your lives forever, I think you know who you are when I mention this. I am sending you love as I send this family love, because what else can you really do at times like these?

Stay as strong as you can during these perilous times my friends. Somehow we will get through all of it, I'm not quite sure how but we will. I am sending you all love as well..

Rebuild, restore, reconstruct............

2025-01-26T16:16:00.000-05:00

Today I took Little Buddy out to my favorite Honeymoon Island State Park to see the huge restoration project going on. The whole island got devastated by Hurricanes' Helene and Milton. It was covered in over 7 feet of water and much of the island was just washed away. I have been enjoying walks on the portion that is open on my child free weekends, even when it is cold and gray out I love to go. However, I have not taken Little Buddy out to see how they are trying to fix it until today. He was not thrilled but I felt it was an amazing feat to witness. That big barge, far out on the water drills deep into the ocean floor and pumps sand via huge pipes up onto the beach. The sand erupts into a giant sand fountain and it just keeps pumping until they turn it off to catch up. The huge bulldozers flatten it all out and move it down the beach, Layer after layer gets put down. As I understand it the crews are working 24/7 and the whole restoration will take 8 weeks to rebuild 4 miles of sandy beach. I asked if the restoration affects the sea life on the ocean floor and I was assured they drill deep enough that very little sand on the bottom is disrupted so sea life is pretty safe. Still all that noise and vibrations can't make anything living in the Gulf very happy. Yes, the Gulf of Mexico, not America. The island is constantly changing with the help of Mother Nature and now once again with the help of man/womankind. It will be all up and running by Spring and it will be beautiful. I will miss my cold walks on rocks and broken shells on the main beach, but that too is up for restoration in the near future.

I did a little restoration in my house as well. Christmas morning was lovely but there is just not enough places to sit. I have two antique rocking chairs and two sitting chairs in my living room and that is it. No one uses it except me unless we are all in it for Christmas morning, still it just needed more. I bought this incredible loveseat and ottoman and I think it works. It is lower to the ground than I'd like but with the added pillows it makes the backs a little taller. I am not a short woman, so the shorter back sort of freaked me out at first. I bought another loveseat for the office/bedroom my oldest uses when he works from my house a couple days a week. He just got a new job and I felt he needed an update from the 21 year old futon that was the current sitting option in that room. With the new furniture I can bring in the ottoman from the living room into the office if we need a little place to sleep, which we do during storms. And I will be getting a twin blow up mattress for Little Buddy to use as we both don't fit on a full size mattress anymore, he is way too big for that. The furniture is all foam, less items used to construct it, less carbon footprint. Each piece comes in a box and you open it and release it from its shrunken plastic wrapped state and it pops up and sort of inflates all on its own. It prevented me having to take time off for a delivery service which was very nice and I could bring it all in and set it up all by myself..

It has been chilly here, I know don't laugh as all of you are in frigid temps with horrible storms, or are dealing with fire damage and smoke. Mornings have been in the 30's which is cold for here. My house has great windows so I don't often turn on the heat but these past few weeks I have been so cold I have given myself headaches trying to stay warm, ridiculous I know. Even the boys have been cold and have enjoyed a few minutes here and there being covered up all snug and cozy.

I don't do a word for the year anymore, frankly what word would even work in these very dark and perilous times? But I am concentrating on rebuilding my life, restoring my sanity if that is even possible and reconstructing things both physically in my home, and emotionally in my heart. In this crazy world of parenting a very special boy with a very special heart and brain, with a self centered and self serving co-parent it is hard to keep my mind and body moving forward and not getting caught up in the constant day to day ridiculousness. I feel that is the only way I am going to be able to move forward with my thoughts and beliefs on the political spectrum as well. Rebuild myself, restore my faith in myself and mankind however I can, and reconstruct after all the devastation that is currently happening to so many and will only get worse. You can't give in but you can pick your fights, you can defend your opinion and you can remind those that this is what they asked for and they are going to get far worse. A nurse I occasionally work with was gleeful that there are now according to her only two sexes and the Gulf of America now exists, I laughed at her and shook my head at her ridiculous beliefs and said that is a horrible way to think and I hope she can do better. I will be quiet when needed, speak out when I can, take time to restore myself through exercise, walks on the beach, meditation and prayer, and reconstruct and rebuild when the opportunity arises, just like my beloved Island.

Hope you can rebuild, restore and reconstruct when you need to.

Merry Christmas

2024-12-25T12:51:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas to all who are celebrating this year and to all those celebrating other traditions and holidays. Hope the magic of this season has come fully into your heart and your home. Even if it is in very small ways, I hope we all notice the many gifts we have that have nothing to do with presents under a tree. Wishing you all the very best.

Thankful........

2024-11-29T11:36:00.000-05:00

Hello everyone, I know it has been a while. We weathered the last hurricane much better than most. I had my boys and their significant others here for Milton and it was very nice. Before the storm I put up all the hurricane protection guards on the windows all by myself, I had one son working and one out of town so it was up to me, and thankfully I could do it. It was interesting getting them down from the very small attic in my garage but once they were down they were easy to install. Everyone arrived in time for the storm and we had a good time, playing UNO, eating and maneuvering around each other in this small house. We never lost power like so many, nor did we have major damage, a tree down in my backyard that was quickly cut up by a neighbor, a small leak in a skylight that was fixed a few weeks after, I had lots of small branches down and a broken light with a sensor that resides on the side of my house but nothing else. It was nice to see neighbors out helping neighbors and my oldest son's and their partners out helping pick up debris for others as well. I had friends out of power for days, friends with big trees uprooted but for us we were just fine. It was pretty scary watching Milton swirl out in the Gulf heading towards us, but a late turn south of us really saved this area. We were blessed when so many weren't, I am grateful and also sad for those still battling to get their homes fixed.

This past month has been about trying to get back to work when I can, I missed 10 days because of Helene and Milton, Little Buddy missed 13 days of school! His school had the gym roof peel back which allowed so much water and wind damage inside. They opened a week after the public schools in this area. Still they got his school up and running and they were back in their regular routine which makes all of these neurodiverse children happy, their parent, too!

My favorite place to walk on the beach just opened with limited spaces available yesterday. As I could not walk at the island I walked on the causeway to the island several times. This big sailboat blew up in the storm and was just sitting on the sand near the street. There must have been powerful waves to get this boat stuck way up on shore. My dear Honeymoon Island had devastating destruction, most of the barrier islands did so I am so happy it is partially open now and hope to pay a visit there next weekend.

This week as we celebrated Thanksgiving here in the States, I tried, as I do everyday, to focus on all I am grateful for. I start every morning with a gratitude practice and end my day with one as well. I was working on a little 4 1/2 month old baby on Monday and as I helped him fall asleep and began working to shift his skull where it was misshaped due to preference to sleeping with his head to the right, I looked at that sweet sleeping face and was just so grateful I get to do the work I do, so grateful I have my house, family, friends and job of course. Even with the darkness I felt so strongly after the election, I felt grateful for the community I have created that is so supportive of my Little Buddy and his very special and complex needs. I am not sure those needs will be met in the future with Medicaid reductions and his schooling/scholarship in jeopardy, his educational needs are supported by the Department of Education, the government agency that ensures all children with special needs receive the education they deserve just like their peers. At this point there is not a lot I can do about it but pray that he and all the children like him are safe with their medical and educational needs. I often think wouldn't it be nice to not have to pray for these things not to change but to know they are a right that these kids deserve and a right that won't be taken from them. In the last four years it never occured to me that they would be taken away, but the world we now will be living in will be vastly different from where we have been, and it won't be better in any sense.

I am also grateful that my family was with me yesterday for Thanksgiving. This is the first time in the last four Thanksgiving's they have been with me. Thanksgiving has good memories for me as a child but not so good as an adult with the stress it entailed while living with my thankfully ex-husband. Yesterday was easy and peaceful, the day unfolded with only one behavior issue with Little Buddy and lots of food and conversation later in the day when my older boys came with their significant others, I even quickly spoke to a couple of friends and my sister. And I am thankful for Zombie masks that help with very bad acne!

I am truly blessed, really and truly blessed and I hope you know I am very thankful for all of you who still visit me here in this space when I can drop in. Wishing you a wonderful day. Today we are finishing up decorating for Christmas and going to see Moana 2 at the movie theater, my choice not Little Buddy's, but he is still going along!

Storms and casts...............

2024-10-05T12:59:00.007-04:00

Hello everyone! We are in the middle of hurricane and cast season here, both of which stink. Hurricane Helene came in with catastrophic flooding to my area in Florida and all over the south as you have all seen. As of now 15 people have died in my county, three on a street I work on. So many are devastated, it is so sad. We are fine, sailed through another one with no flooding or loss of power but just a mile away they lost power for 5 days. It seems minor compared to the devastation in this area and north of us. And hooray we have a rain system on the way ready to drop 4-7 inches into already water logged areas starting Sunday. This system or the one after it will be a tropical storm or hurricane by the time it hits us as we are directly in the path of its expected arrival. There are apparently at least two out there that will affect us. I am not worried for us, but those who have lost everything and are just cleaning up are going to be affected again. Of course the loss of life and destruction in Georgia, North and South Carolina and Western Virginia is just horrific, but it is pretty rough here as well. My beautiful Honeymoon Island is decimated, all the beaches on the barrier islands are simply gone, the buildings at these parks are ruined, the electrical systems and roads are gone. Some homes near the water but on the mainland had 10-12 feet of water in them and people did not have time to get away because the forecast was for a storm surge but nothing of this capacity. It is just so sad all around.

Little Buddy is currently completing week two of casting with another new casting day on Monday. This will be a 6-8 week process. He is already showing signs of improvement which is better than we had hoped for at this point. It is a big deal for him to get around, taking him longer to get places and really making him tired by the end of the day. I have to remind myself to be really patient with him because fatigue might be the issue rather than difficult behavior by the afternoon. The casts must be soaked daily for 3-5 minutes so that is a lot of fun. You do not want to picture me getting him in the tub to soak, up on his shower chair to take a shower, or help him navigate getting his clothes over the casts. I am thankful he is who he is and doesn't get embarrassed that his Mom is helping him at the age of 13.

I am forcing myself to crochet. Literally making myself do it on the weekends. I hope to make Ariana by Berroco if the plans work out. I had all the yarn minus the red which I purchased last week. I have lost my creative mojo for far too long. It was such a big part of who I thought I was but now realize I created or had yarn in my hands much of the time to self soothe throughout much of my marriage. Things will never settle down as long as I have this special needs child that we share so I think it is time to try and get back in the saddle and create, I don't want to lose that part of myself as well.

Please stay safe out there my friends. From all of us here including my granddog Luna, who is here for the weekend and another week of storms, stay safe.

Updated: Looks like Milton will be a category 2 hurricane heading our way.

Suddenly it is late September...........

2024-09-22T18:27:00.004-04:00

Hello everyone, hope you are all well.

Little Buddy started 7th grade weeks ago, time has flown by so fast. He is enjoying it so far and only causing a little bit of a ruckus in his classes. He has to change classes four times a day, just like big kids do. He isn't one to do well with transitions so I am keeping my fingers crossed it continues to go well.

I had to get new sod in once again. It is so frustrating when you see your new sod turning brown and that horrible brown spreading and spreading. I took pictures week after week to show its demise, but even with that it was a fight to get new sod put down. They blamed not enough watering although it was watered nightly for 8 weeks and we have had plenty of rain, even a tropical storm. I even removed a large area of sod and put in stepping stones and mulch, that little project gave me an intense two week headache from the lifting. The sod guy and I finally made a deal I paid for the new sod again but not any of the labor, I'm just happy it looks good after 5 days.

My friend Holly turned me onto this great cookbook. I have been experimenting with some good and some bad results. The thumbprint cookies are excellent, the brownies looked fantastic but were very bland. Still it's fun to experiment with no gluten, no dairy, no eggs and dates and bananas or unsweetened applesauce for a sweetner.

There were some walks on the beach a few weeks ago, I barely remember them now. My favorite beach, Honeymoon Island State Park has had so much sand erosion from all the storms. It has changed in shape and the end is now completely cut off from the main island. It is sad and fascinating to see all at the same time. I fear it will be underwater in a few years if climate change and these big storms don't slow down.

Little buddy has a friend at school he sits with at lunch. She wrote me a note with her mother's number on it stating they would like to go to the movies. I sent the lovely Mom a text and they ended up meeting us at a small farm yesterday. It was cute feeding the goats, petting the bunnies and just getting to know two very brave women who adopted this lovely and complex little girl with a lot of trauma in her past. How beautiful that so many wonderful and dedicated people step up and adopt these kids in need. Their story warmed my heart. And it is always good to have a friend when you are Little Buddy and friendships are hard to make.

Little Buddy has some rough weeks ahead of him. We are getting casting done of his ankles and lower legs to stretch out those super tight heel cords this week. His bones are growing faster than his muscles and tendons can keep up. This is a pretty normal thing for kids with Cerebral Palsy, I guess we have been lucky so far in that area. Still I am sad he will have to endure this and this is just a band aid until he will need surgery. One step at a time, right?

Hope you are all well. Happy Autumn!

a last part of summer trip..........

2024-08-10T15:02:00.002-04:00

Little Buddy and I had a late summer trip, we went over to Titusville to stay as close to the Kennedy Space Center as possible. We arrived Thursday evening after back to school/meet the teacher afternoon. It was a long drive as traffic is always horrible in Tampa and all the way to Orlando, but we made it and headed up to the rooftop restaurant for dinner which was very exciting.

Friday we made it a whole 5 1/2 hours at Kennedy Space Center before one little guy was almost crying because he was so tired. That is a long time for him to be walking and standing. I'd say the whole place was amazing. I think with all the rockets going off funded by little boy billionaires playing around we forget how amazing space travel really is. Seeing the Atlantis was just incredible. Seeing the IMAX production about The James Webb Telescope was so fascinating, how it was created and the truly unimaginable pictures it sends back, well it was incredible as well. We walked all the way over to see a rocket launch that got canceled at the last minute. The whole place is very large, lots of walking on a hot day, but with most of the venues inside it made it bearable. At the 5 1/2 hour mark this guy got very tired, not even a scoop of dippin dots ice cream could make it better. So we made our way back to the car and back to the hotel. After making it in the door and we both took a much deserved nap. Funny I spent so much time online looking at hotels, I wanted a pool for us to go swimming in, a restaurant and something very close to Kennedy Space Center. Well we did make it to the rooftop restaurant with a speedy express elevator that counts down to lift off, but not to the pool, we were way, way to tired. It was a big adventure for both of us.

I am pretty much solely financially responsible for this little one so taking time off from work is really hard for me. Missing the income and of course the expense of hotels, parking, eating out and of course tickets is hard for me to swallow. But I also feel it is important that he knows Mom can do this with him and it isn't always Dad who takes him away on extravagant trips, some of which he could care less to even go on. So in a way I am proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone, taming down my anxiety a bit and making the plans for our adventure. He had a great time, and while I was fascinated by it all, this trip was for my amazing boy, with the amazing brain who just loves facts. And the big bonus is we rode on an elevator he had never even heard of. I thought the elevator fascination stage was over with but apparently a new brand of elevator is still very exciting.

Monday starts the school year. Little Buddy will be in 7th grade and will be changing classes four times a day. Thats big stuff! Luckily it is all with teachers he knows and trusts and he will have a behavior therapist with him most of the time making transitioning easier for him, and for me if I am honest! We are having a family pizza night tomorrow with big brothers and their partners to celebrate!

Hope you are all having a wonderful end of your summer and you are staying safe from the remnants of Tropical Storm Debbie, she packed a punch here last Sunday and Monday. I was happy to see her move on, but that is just another day living in Florida and frankly once we knew she was sailing past us and heading north for landfall we didn't even blink. It was actually cozy to be forced to stay in with the rain and wind howling outside.

Hope you all have a wonderful week

This and that, again.............

2024-07-28T12:45:00.003-04:00

My little house has had a major update. I finally got my brown house painted and the 1970's painted black wood has been taken down. I replaced that area with this beautiful stonework. My old neighbor Tony is a contractor and has helped me with plumbing issues and hired people to paint. He did the stomework himself. The new pathway is where I had a six foot hole for over six weeks for my major plumbing repair. I replanted and landscaped several weeks ago and things are finally growing back. I even got new lights and numbers for the house. The old lights were wooden 70's originals and seriously looked like black bat houses.

Last week I finally got new sod in my backyard to replace all the weeds and big patches of dirt. I freshened up the pathways that I made two years ago and helped to disperse a mountain of new mulch on Friday. This weekend I hauled 50 bags of marble rocks for the borders and now it is finished. A project I have been working on getting done since January has finally been completed. I was not expecting a huge plumbing repair in there stalling it all but I guess that is home ownership.

On my fifth trip of the weekend yesterday to Lowe's for rocks I bought these fellas. I am not a big statue person but I had a problem area right in front of my tree in front of my house. Nothing would grow there because it was so dense with roots. I thought these two would make a nice visually pleasing distraction from the big bare spot that was there.

Last weekend Little Buddy and I went to a car museum very close to our home. It is the largest privately owned museum for older antique cars. The family is French so many of these cars were from France and Germany. They had seventeen one of a kinds including prototypes that were never manufactured.

And because Little Buddy is cute and adorable when he wants to be, the kind man walking around answering questions asked if he would like to sit in the Delorean. Well of course he did. Sorry the picture is so blurry. When we came home I put on the movie Back to the Future and about 15 minutes in realized there was a lot of swearing, like way too much for a boy who has difficulty with impulse control, so off it went. He was incensed there was so much swearing, which is funny because he swears when he is having a behavioral episode. I explained it was the 80's, things were wild and crazy back then.

The fur boys wanted to say hello.

Hope you are all doing well and enjoying your summer. Thank you for continuing to visit this space of mine. You are all the best.

This and that...............

2024-06-30T15:06:00.002-04:00

Lots of little things going on here in my neck of the woods. This beautiful boy came to visit us overnight a few weeks back. This is Oben, another Irish Doodle, he lives with one of the families I work with. He is a darling boy, full grown but still very much of a puppy. They had a bit of an emergency so he came to stay the night. A good time was had by all but I am sure he was happy to see his family again, he was very concerned that he might be here forever!

There have been loads of walks on the beach. I take Little Buddy fairly frequently to visit the beach to play in the sand and swim, last week we got run off early because a storm was heading in. I have to be careful when he is with me as it takes us a long time to get back to the car, we can't just all make a mad dash in the rain. I go to the beach to walk and today on my walk I saw this beautiful pelican flying and diving head first into the water. I always visit Honeymoon Island State Park, it is so beautiful and serene, and only a 20 minute drive from my house. On the weekends I am alone I try to make it once if not twice. Due to severe storms last year half of the upper most part of the island is now cut off from the main island so my walks are much shorter but still beautiful. It is probably better that way with the intense heat even as early as 8 in the morning I find I am walking slower and shorter distances.

I bought a new car back in March, a Kia Sorento hybrid and I am in love with it. My poor Subaru Outback had 186,000 miles on it and was frequently breaking down. The day I turned it in I actually kept it running for three hours because I thought it might not start back up if I turned it off. A week ago I got a notice my left rear tire was low, it has happened so many times before to me because I drive so much I just stayed on the main road. When I was able to pull over I was at the barely being able to move stage. This was a blow out that could have been very dangerous. A big blade had shredded the tire. Roadside assistance from Kia came within an hour, checking on me all through the process and put on my spare. I had to buy a new $250 tire but it is nice to know I am not alone out there on the streets and help will soon be on the way if needed. It was a blessing Little Buddy was not with me as well.

The lavender Crepe Myrtle in my backyard is always slow to bloom but when it does it puts on a beautiful show. Little petals float off of it making it look like a light lavender snowfall. My grass has little lavender petals sprinkled all over it.

Little Buddy had a wonderful birthday that seemed to last for days. He deserves it afterall you only turn, "thir", once in your life! Thank you for his birthday wishes.

I have been a crazy person doing so many chores this weekend, like washing all the draperies, all the sheets and floors. The boys got haircuts yesterday, you can see they were not happy with the experience, but I was because that is when I went on the crazy cleaning spree.

Have a wonderful week. Hope you are all well and having a wonderful week/weekend.

Thir

2024-06-23T15:47:00.001-04:00

Tomorrow is Little Buddy's 13th birthday. As I have been through the teen route twice before I have decided the word, "teen," is no longer allowed in my house. So Little Buddy is now to be, "thir,"years old and believe me he is not having that and tells me I am crazy.

It has been a weekend of fun. Little Buddy wants to be a drag racer when he grows up so we went to visit the Don Garlits Drag Racing Museum, in Ocala, Florida yesterday. It was actually quite interesting even for a non drag racing fan like myself. Don Garlits was the greatest of all time in the drag racing department and he seems like he was/is a really wonderful man. He is 92 and raced even last year.

We went to the beach this morning but got chased away by incoming storms. Big brothers and their partners are coming over this evening for pizza, cake and presents. And we got to chat with Aunt Claudia and Uncle Don this afternoon, Uncle Don and Little Buddy share a birthday.

So if you are going to be, "thir," years old this is the way to do it.

Happy Birthday Little Buddy, you bring such joy into my life!

To make you smile...................

2024-05-24T17:02:00.000-04:00

Just a quick photo to make you all smile. Little Buddy surpassed his testing goals in language arts and math so he got to pick out these awesome glasses at school. When he put them on I laughed and laughed. Hope they make you happy as well. We are having a long weekend full of the beach and maybe the splash pad or zoo. It will be nice to be together. Hope you all have a wonderful weekend.

And then there were two.....Lawyers that is!

2024-05-19T12:53:00.003-04:00

This has been a lovely weekend. My Daughter-In-Law in training graduated from Stetson Law School with Honors. What an amazing young woman she is! I was honored to attend her awards ceremony on Friday afternoon. The graduation ceremony was yesterday morning followed by a celebratory brunch. Not only is she brilliant, she had several articles published in the Stetson Law Review, that is a big deal. She is just incredible in every way. And she absolutely loves my son Mr 27. They have been together since they were 14 and 15. A greater match I have never seen. Little Buddy was with his Dad this weekend, but had a sitter instead of attending. This is not an event for him, it is early, long and hot. That is why he is not featured in the photos. Congratulations to Ms almost 26! They are officially engaged by the way ❤❤❤!

Flowers, a Zombie and random stuff....................

2024-04-26T19:33:00.007-04:00

Hi everyone! Hope you are all well. So much going on here with my family but not a lot I can talk about, suffice to say my worry meter has been at an all time high but I think it can now move it back to the regular high alert position. A mom is always on high alert, right?

Lots of random photos here. My beautiful furniture smells like dog, I mean my dogs don't smell like dog but my furniture does. I have tried all sorts of essential oils and a bit of vinegar and water and I finally resorted to dreaded Febreeze, I hate chemicals in my house but it has to be done. Now I have two blankets on the sofa for the boys and cushions blocking the loveseat so they can't get on it. I love my boys, they love the sofa, so it is what it is!

Lots of flowers blooming here. It has been an exceptionally beautiful Spring, hot temps are approaching so I am enjoying these blooms on my property while they are here. The giant Magnolia tree I have in my backyard and I have a love/hate relationship. It is beautiful, but it drops so many leaves and flower debris that I can't keep up with it. I have mulch under the tree because no grass would grow there so I have to pick up the leaves, one, by one, by one. Sometimes I get mad at it, but seriously it is a tree doing what trees do, with unfortunately leaves that don't break down because they are thick and waxy.

Little Buddy has had some struggles at school and I have had to deal with those. It is hard to be almost 13 in your body but not near that old emotionally and mentally. He is a work in progress, and with all the changes in his life I think he is doing a pretty good job. Now if we could just get that skin under control. He loves his Zombie face mask. I tell him if you are a Zombie it makes you have pimples, if you are a boy it helps take them away. He was making a Zombie face in that photo, were you all scared?

It helps me to have all my beautiful boys in my life. They are my purpose, well them and my job as a therapist. If they are okay then I know I am going to be as well.

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend, thank you for visiting me here in this space.

*The Christmas tree is in Little Buddy's room, he gets to have it up as long as he wants so it is still burning brightly every evening.

Happy Easter

2024-03-31T12:22:00.000-04:00

Happy Easter everyone! Hope you are all having a beautiful day!

March...........

2024-03-08T15:47:00.005-05:00

Hello Everyone! Are any of you still here?

I am checking in as of course it has been a while. I am reading your posts as much as possible but thought I would try to take some time to check in here and give a little update.

I have been doing some very big girl things and I have to say I am quite proud of myself! Not that I didn't do this type of thing before but actually taking charge of your home, your finances with no one to answer to is very empowering. I had my beautiful Camphor tree trimmed all up. It was a big expense but was much needed especially before hurricane season comes along. I am a tree lover through and through and hate to see them getting a trim even if it is needed. I had three of these beautiful trees at my other home so seeing this big one in this front yard was an immediate pull for me when I was looking for a new home. There are other home updates coming along, things that needed to be done before but had to wait until I could see what my financial situation would be before moving forward on them.

Another big girl item, new furniture for my family room. I never sat in my family room here or in my other house, I always sat at the kitchen table. I did not like that big family room with 12 foot ceilings in my other house or the, "mandatory" furniture that had to be leather and reclining. I am not a leather fan, too cold in the winter and hot in the summer, I know it cleans up well but still I never liked it and that is what we always had to have. It occured to me in December that I never sat in the family room in my new house, it just never felt right to me, cold, uninviting, awkward, sort of like I had pieces of my old life that did not fit together. So off I went to the furniture store for a sectional, but soon realized my room was long and narrow and it would not work. So I found this beautiful sofa, loveseat and ottoman and I am in love. It was supposed to be delivered in January but got delayed until February. A week before the delivery I went and purchased a new mattress to be delivered on the same date. Let me tell you everything is so lovely, comfortable and just so wonderful to look at. The family room is warm, cozy and inviting and I just love it all. I feel like that was a big piece of the puzzle missing with my house. I love my house so much but something still felt,"off" to me, now it feels perfect. As you can see the boys and Luna are very happy with it as well.

I had covid in January which was a bit of a breeze and it just frustrated me that I had to take off work when I was not feeling that bad. Now those restrictions have been lifted but I still would take time off out of respect for the families I work with. The same family that gave me covid gave me a cold recently, which I might add was way worse and is still lingering two weeks later. This week I got my first ear infection at the lovely age of 59 and now have a perforated eardrum! This is a pain I would not like to experience ever again if I can help it. I can't hear at all out of my left ear and I have to say I am disoriented because my right ear is very impaired in the hearing department, but hopefully it will soon get better with lots of antibiotics and a bit of rest this weekend. Little Buddy had a wee cold last weekend and I feel he was being a bit dramatic about it, but is all well now just in time for spring break with his dad.

Speaking of Little Buddy, he is getting so big! Today was jeans day at school, he never wears jeans so I had to take a photo just to remember how cute he is in them. He has been a bit of a pistol at school and at home but I guess that is what almost 13 year olds do. He can't be a pistol with friends, or get all that extra preteen attitude out on an athletic field or running around with friends outside so it comes out with me. Too many changes in his life, way too close together come out as unresolved anger and frustration. Still I am not turning him in, although I have thought about renting him out, very cheaply I might add, if there are any takers interested.

The last photo is just for fun, I have no idea when he took it but there he is.

Hope you are all having a good week or weekend depending on where you are located. I think of you all often and wish you the very best.

Christmas Eve

2023-12-24T12:40:00.003-05:00

Merry Christmas!

This photo of a photo is not showing up well but you can see Little Buddy is not very little anymore. He is very excited Santa comes tonight even though he is suddenly afflicted with a stomach virus. I would say this is an appropriate way to end the year. He has had a rough one with brain shunt revision surgery in September, that is after keeping a close eye on him all summer long waiting for that very old shunt of his to malfunction. As typical he doesn't present like typical children and likes to keep us all guessing on what is going on in that complex brain and body of his. We have been to the ER twice now for possible malfunction issues after the surgery, actually the last visit just about two weeks ago when I got a call from the school he was having a seizure. I am not sure that was what it was but they had to call emergency services all the same. By the time I got to the school he was sitting up and asking the rescue personnel if they had electric vehicles and how long different battery charges last. While losing a good ten years of my life after receiving that call, I was never so happy to hear him talking non stop about vehicles and facts.

While this has been a very stressful year, stressful beyond comprehension, I am taking time everyday to be grateful for all the tremendous blessings in my life. I have so much to be grateful for. I thank you all for still blogging as I get great comfort reading about your lives, projects, challenges and your humor in the face of it all. Even though I rarely seem to post, you all do mean the world to me. I hope you have a wonderful holiday, no matter if you are with family or enjoying the peace of special time alone, I wish you the best.

May this Christmas Season and 2024 be the best for all of us.

Sending you all a big hug and loads of blessings.

And suddenly it's September..............

2023-09-04T12:48:00.000-04:00

Hello everyone! I hope you are all still out there and are having a wonderful end of summer. I am still reading your blogs and getting great joy from all of your adventures. Time is limited here so posting continues to be an issue, as well as my energy to get it done. It is so far down the list of things that need to happen I fear there will not be a regular return anytime soon.

However, here are some updates: Little Buddy, who is not so little as far as age or attitude started sixth grade. His school has finally moved to their new facility much closer to my house which is wonderful. He has to attend early drop off three to four days a week so I can get to work, but he is managing the new length of his day without many issues so far.

Of course just as he was getting oriented to the school schedule we had a beast of a hurricane pass by north of us. He missed two days of school last week, and there is Labor Day today. We were so fortunate with the storm, I was prepared as far as food, water and batteries and thankfully we did not lose power. My middle son, his partner and Luna came to stay, not to protect their Mom but because he is a bear to be around when there is no electricity and they lose it quickly where they live. Little Buddy and I had a sleepover so they could use his bed, it was cozy with all the rain and wind outside and his little body tucked in close to mine, safe and sound. My oldest son chose to work from my house all week but went back and forth, even early Wednesday morning when the storm was just skimming us while still in the Gulf of Mexico. He took the bridge from Tampa over to my house, the route west was open but the route going east towards Tampa was closed with high waves and debris all over that portion of the bridge. We are all safe, thank you for all of you who checked up on us. The poor people several hours north of us had so much storm surge damage it is hard to even comprehend the devastation.

My divorce was final at the end of July. It has been a rough 2 years, well actually I can add a few more onto that. I was hoping things would settle down now that we have a judge ordered schedule to follow, but no I was wrong. I was told by many friends the finality of the divorce really changes nothing when dealing with someone like this, and they were right. So on we go, taking each day and new issue as it comes. Counseling helps me understand the complexities of the situation and helps me realize I am not alone in the issues I have had for over 30 years and continue to have. There is so much help online as well, it really is such a blessing for people going through anything, knowing there are others that have gone through whatever adversity you are going through, they have survived and thrived! That is my goal and I am making progress everyday.

There has been minor attempts at crocheting a blanket made with the good old Japanese Flower pattern given to me by my dear friend Teresa Kasner, who left us all way too soon. I think of her often and miss her and her wonderful view on the world To be honest even though I try to knit or crochet it makes me feel ill. This has happened one other time in my life, when I was fighting cancer, I could not play with yarn at all then. So maybe the highest stress times of my life, when I need it the most, I simply can't muster up the energy or desire to knit or crochet. I hope my mojo returns soon.

Little Buddy is now 12, he has all the signs of the dreaded puberty, including the ridiculous attitude that comes with it. He has pimples on that beautiful freckle face of his so we often do a green tea mask to calm it all down. He loves looking like a zombie. His behavior towards me has made a significant turn for the worse. It is hard to be the parent who has rules. However, we have help with his behavior therapists, a counselor and his neurologist for medication. We take his behavioral issues minute by minute because things can change in a flash. He is a work in progress as we all are.

Hank and Bear just got groomed yesterday. The put silly ties on them, those poor boys look like they had a very rough day at the office.

With so much going on in the world and personally with so many, I make a conscious effort to give thanks for all the wonderful things in my life everyday, and there are many. I can't even tell you what a relief it is to come home to my own home and find peace, no walking on eggshells, no wondering what or who will meet me when I walk in the door. Peace is a beautiful thing. Hoping you are all finding some moments of peace in your lives my friends.

Hello after many, many months............

2023-05-16T18:25:00.001-04:00

Just popping into say we are still alive here in very hot Florida. It has been a rough few months with the never ending divorce, custody issues, financial disagreements, well they say divorce is not for the faint of heart and it isn't. I'm truly exhausted with all the neverending mess, so I visit each of you but can't get the energy to write. You sort of all keep me sane, knowing what you are all up to in your very busy lives. And I thank each and everyone of you who have checked in, thank you for caring enough to see how we are doing.

There is some good news, Mr 26, as of last Monday, graduated law school this past weekend. He has not always had the easiest of times, actually he spent a year and a half at home during high school. He has made such an amazing recovery and is now a law school graduate, something I never ever dreamed for him when he was in 9th and 10th grade. He has overcome so much and with the constant love of his life by his side I think he can do anything. As his partner and I sat next to each other crying I thanked her from the bottom of my heart because he would not be where he is today without her. He has the Bar Exam in July and starts his job as an Assistant District Attorney for the county we live in in August. I am so proud I could burst.

Little Buddy is not so little anymore. He has major signs of puberty happening (check out the fluff above his mouth) and that includes his attitude with lots of arguments telling me I am not the boss, I can't speak to him that way, and of course the just blatant not listening when requested to get off some sort of screen device. He is finally used to his new teacher and new school, just in time for school to be over. They are moving to an new facility next year, much closer to my home so there will be another huge adjustment in his life we have to deal with on top of the custody adjustments that will be taking place sometime in the future. I am preparing myself for an even bumpier ride because there are not many rules in one home, and many rules in mine, which makes my job a lot harder.

So thank you for visiting, I still plan on blogging when I can get myself together. Thank you for caring and have a wonderful week.

New Year's Eve, goodbye to 2022

2022-12-31T11:35:00.003-05:00

I am pretty ready for this year to be over as you very well know. It has by far been the toughest year of my life, and that includes the year I fought cancer with a 7 year old and 3 year old to look after, the year my son fought depression and anxiety that was so bad I feared for his life and took him to work with me, and the years of taking care of my parents and watching my mother decline a little at a time. Among all the pain, anger, fear, anxiety and sadness this year there has been light. An awakening if you can so imagine, time to gather myself and find some peace in my own beautiful home. Time to realize just how much I was made to feel small, non existent and certainly not an equal partner. I am finding myself, very slowly, and frankly that young girl with so much hope and love in her is long gone, but another version of her is out there and I am finding her one step at a time.

Christmas has been packed away and everything is clean and fresh for the New Year. My wonderful friend Lynda gave me a huge bin of vintage Christmas ornaments for my tree. Many of them were hers gathered over the years or belonging to her MIL, or from a friend that got tired of her vintage tree and wanted something more modern. Lynda has kept these for years, not knowing why she was hanging onto them and now we know, it was for me. I only used a few of these precious ornaments and a few from my boys and that was it. A newish tree for me this year that added some fun and a new tradition. I also treated myself to a new Christmas tree skirt because who could possible resist this one with Santa on it?

The bush you see losing all its leaves is one of several off my back porch. It was cold here over Christmas, not cold by everyone else's standards but cold for here. Apparently a bit too cold for these bushes. I think this bush sort of sums up my year, it looks ragged and like it is losing its life force, but it really isn't, it will bloom again this spring when it is warmer out. A little care and it will be on the way to a full recovery, hopefully just like me.

I am making a list of everything that has been bad or stressed me out this year and a list of all the things that I am grateful for. Tonight I will be burning the first list and watching all that negative energy burn up and go away. Then after reading my gratitude list I will do the same, letting all of my love, hope and gratitude return to the Universe with prayers of being thankful for all that I have in my life. This might become my new New Year's Eve tradition. I am thankful for so much and my gratitude list is much longer than my other list, see I am moving forward as positively as I can. While I have had to let go of so many people in my life, those who have not been there for me for many different reasons, I rejoice in those that have. And that includes my family, look at how happy Little Buddy was on Christmas. He asked Santa for the driving system his big brother has and then after we left he got very upset thinking he should have asked for the gear shift instead. Luckily Santa brought the steering wheel and pedals, Mom bought the mounting station and big brothers and their partners chipped in for the gear shift. He could not be more thrilled. Anything he can do independently just like other kids his age is a big bonus, plus he has to use his right hand and foot with this system, he is more involved on this side so this is therapeutic as well. I am his therapist afterall, it all has to help him move towards more independence or functional ability, or social advancement.

Also big on my gratitude list is the friends who have been there for me every step of the way, through anger, frustration and laughing disbelief at how ridiculous some things have been. Some friends have drifted away, as hard as that is for me to understand as I have helped them through very similar situations, it just is. Frankly all of it, just is. You are all on my gratitude list just so you know. Cheering me on, loving Little Buddy from afar and cheering him on as well, well it means the world to me.

Last year I picked the phrase, moving forward with grace, to represent my year. While sometimes there has been no grace to be found I think I am starting to move in that direction. I will need it as we move towards depositions and mediation starting in January. I will continue to try to move forward with grace instead of anger and fear as much as possible.

I am so thankful for all of you. I wish you a safe and wonderful New Year's Eve, as we ring in 2023, know that I am sending you love and gratitude for being here in this space with me.

Merry Christmas

2022-12-24T17:41:00.001-05:00

Suddenly it is Christmas and I seemed to have missed two whole months here on this blog. This picture is horrible, a picture of a picture but you get the idea. One little boy I know is very excited about a visit from Santa. There is something wonderful about believing in all things magic at this time of year. I feel he will be very pleased, even if our Christmas is very different from years past.

Things have been exceptionally difficult these past few months. Navigating a divorce, and a not very friendly one at that, is hard while working and taking care of my special boy. His school continues to not be helpful as far as challenging him intellectually, and now just as I suspected, he is falling behind. So this Christmas break we will be working on writing and math, reading comprehension and test taking. All to even keep him remotely close to what his neurotypical peers are learning. I certainly wish I had not followed the advice of so many and put him in this school for children who learn differently. It really was a combination of a new principal/administration and a new teacher that does not have the ability to understand Little Buddy that has created this mess. We need to finish the year and move forward, whatever that might look like in the future.

Still with all that is going on I am blessed to have wonderful support. And I want to thank you all for sticking with me here in this space. Your emails and kind thoughts have warmed my heart more than you will ever know. Checking on us here when I am not posting just means the world to me. It is so lovely not to be forgotten.

I wish you all the very best Holiday. Stay warm and safe, love those you can up close and send love to those far away. I am sending you all a very big hug filled with love and gratitude for being so wonderful.

Happy Halloween

2022-10-31T11:51:00.001-04:00

Happy Halloween from Harry Potter and me! A more perfect Harry Potter I have never seen. Little Buddy is on book two of the series and is loving them so it was only appropriate that he was Harry Potter this year for Halloween. His new school, while still having many issues and teaching him far below his ability level, at least celebrates Halloween. The school has a parade and a party, a party I will get to attend and help with this year. Then tonight biggest brother, who turns 29 today, will take this one out trick or treating. What a day!

I am sorry I have been out of contact. I had some pretty major pelvic floor surgery on October 21. It was far more brutal than I had imagined with many mistakes and missteps along the way. My surgeon was wonderful, kind and compassionate, but everything that happened afterward was a big problem including an overnight stay that was never supposed to happen, excessive bleeding, three catheters, no food for over 38 hours, and last but not least a UTI that occurred last Monday that left me crying on my bed. When I notified the surgeon's office they never called in an antibiotic until 22 hours later, thank God my general practitioner called one in right away. When the surgeons office finally called the medication in it was for one I am seriously allergic to that would cause respiratory distress. It has taken me much longer to recover due to all of this but I am on my way. Saturday I finally felt like a human being again, but did a bit too much so yesterday I was down again. Today I am feeling better so we will see what tomorrow brings. I have not worked yet as you can imagine, no lifting anything until I see my doctor on Thursday. I plan to have a nice long chat with her about all that has happened, especially as most of it has been an issue with her office not with her. Still through all of this, and I it has been very difficult, I have had my son's and their partners here taking care of me, my dear friend and babysitter stayed the night with my dogs Friday night, and was here Saturday morning and evening, and Monday evening to take care of me. I had a wonderful friend take me to the surgery and walked the halls with me hoping I could get things moving so I could go home. I have had so many calls from my sister and friends checking in on me sometimes two or three times a day, letting me cry, feel sorry for myself, and to see if I needed anything. It has been rough, especially with legal issues to deal with before the surgery that left me sleepless and depleted even before I headed into the procedure. Of course those have followed after the surgery as well which has not helped my recovery. Even with all this I am grateful for my healing, for my family and friends, and for all the blessings in my life.

Take care my friends and Happy Halloween.

Checking in..................

2022-10-09T16:47:00.000-04:00

Thank you to all of you who keep checking in on us, especially as Hurricane Ian headed our way. We were lucky that he did not quite make it this far, but so sad for those who were immeasurably impacted by the storm. He was supposed to hit us dead on, but would have hit a cold front before reaching us which would have likely made him less intense, instead he took a turn east about 2 1/2 hours south of us and boy did they feel the horrible impact. We had this tree down and lots and lots of branches but we were fine, and although loads of people surrounding us lost power for several days we did not miss a beat. My oldest son and his girlfriend came to stay with us and it was wonderful because just knowing they were here if things got bad made me feel much more safe and secure.

Little Buddy continues to have difficulty with the school. They frequently call and disrupt my work day with minor offenses, things I deal with about every hour of my day. The teacher continues to teach him far below his ability level so I still have to teach him at home to keep him even close to a typical fifth grader. If they would meet him at his intellectual level half of the problems would be gone, I keep reminding them that on a weekly basis. I have a parent teacher conference on Monday, wish me luck.

Little Buddy got to go to his first fishing tournament on Saturday. It was for children with special needs. Mr. Jason, a lovely man, helped him catch two fish! We got second place in the length category. After Mr. Jason left it was all Mom and Little Buddy. We did not catch a thing but we had fun on a beautiful sunny morning in October. I must love that boy because I had fish goop all over trying to bait the hook. We released every thing for those who are concerned.

I am not feeling well so I will leave you all. I hope you are all happy and healthy and enjoying the beautiful weather wherever you are.

And as per my last post, to the person who left the ridiculous comment, respect is earned it is not a given. 30 years of lies in a marriage no longer warrants respect of any kind. There can be attempts to be civil, for the sake of family, but respect, no I don't think so. And I am sorry you are so small that you have to hurt someone you don't even know. I am thinking of you and sending you love that you can do better.

I'm out for now...........

2022-09-11T18:05:00.000-04:00

After opening up about the trouble Little Buddy is having in school I received a very snarky comment. My post is down and I won't be posting for a while. It is not worth the stress when I am already having a hard time. Best wishes to you all.