My So Called Life

Another blog

2011-04-12T07:29:00.000-07:00

I have a pity party blog about all my headaches and my adventure with doctors, tests, and drugs if you're interested.

Here's the link

http://alifeofpayne.blogspot.com/

Nothing too exciting, really!

I Never Listen

2009-12-07T14:41:00.000-08:00

My mom has always told me if you have a loose string in your clothes don't just pull on it.

I never listen.

I pulled on it.

And now my pocket is coming off :-(

Hello blog, have you missed me?

2009-11-18T19:20:00.000-08:00

To my former blog followers who still check back in from time to time only to be horribly disappointed that I have not posted anything new. Please do not be alarmed. As you may know – I have never been very faithful at posting anyway. But recent events in my life have put a near halt to my posting. First was the loss of my job. I had gone from sitting at a lovely desk in a usually fun office with fascinating people (I know that none of them follow this so I can say nice things about them without giving any of them undeserved and unnecessary ego boosts). I sat at this lovely desk in this fun office with these fascinating (and fun) people and I – oh, I worked, sure, a little, but I also played – I played on facebook, I posted on my blog, I posted on my butterfly girls blog, I researched weight lifting and workout routines, I researched healthy living lifestyles, I IM-ed with my good friends and co-workers in the next room, across the hall in the next office, across the valley in the next county, across the mountains in another state, across the “pond” in another country, and I played on the internet. Doing those sorts of things were easy because they were easily ACCESSIBLE and because I had the TIME.
Then I got laid off. That was a real blow. I’d never been laid off before. I lost my motivation to do anything.
I got back into school within a few months . And I got seriously motivated to not just get my bachelor’s degree, but to go on to grad school – to get a doctorate – to go to medical school. ME! Can you believe it? I definitely can’t. (I still pinch myself over that one.) In August I got a full time job. (It’s a temp position so I’m keeping my fingers crossed that I still have a job come January). I’m still in school – nearly full-time. And I’m trying to sell my house and move. I can’t access email or blogger or other blogs from work. So the ability to post and read and keep in contact during down time at work has been taken from me. When I am home I'm doing homework or packing or cleaning. Any tiny bit of free time that I am able to find between school, work, packing, homework, and researching grad schools to make sure I stay on target and get all the right classes in, is spent with Justin and Hiro – and ask either one of them – it’s not enough! (And a little bit of NFL football and you’ve got to trust me – that’s not enough either!)
As for email and or facebook – well, I do get those on my phone. And initially that seemed like a godsend. But then they became HUGE distractions and my homework suffered. So I deactivated my facebook account. NO – I did NOT delete any of you as friends. When you deactivate your account it sort of freezes you, saves all your info, but makes it look like you don’t exist. So you disappear from all your friends lists and posts and walls and such, but as soon as I reactivate I should magically appear again.
So please don’t worry about me. I haven’t fallen off the face of the earth. I am still alive, although I sometimes feel like just barely. And hopefully next semester I won’t fall as far behind, I can better manage my time, I’ll be in a smaller home which will require less time to maintain, and I can pop my head up more often for fresh air.
Thanks for all your love, support, and concern. Really, I’m ok. Just some time, accessibility, and minor brain damage issues I need to work through.

Unemployed

2009-04-30T16:12:00.000-07:00

It just amazes me the lengths that I will go to and the things that I can find to do to avoid doing the unpleasant things that I really need to do. Even things that I don't necessarily want to do or typically enjoy doing. Take blog posting for example. Something that I often put off doing for days, weeks, even months at a time.

Here I am, unemployed for a month now (OMG ... I can't believe it's been a month now!), in desperate need of a job, combing through online want-ads, looking at job postings that aren't real jobs anyway, or are crap jobs, or part-time jobs, or offer no benefits, or pay minimum-wage, or I don't qualify for because I don't have a bachelor's degree, blah, blah, blah - to the point where I can't stand the thought of another moment of job-hunting! so I post on my blog instead.

ARGH! This economy sucks!

Riddle me this

2009-04-06T00:16:00.000-07:00

So here's the thing ... how can a girl who hates running so much miss running so much?

I was struggling. Every second or third day I would get into this horrible mood. I wasn't sure what was wrong with me, why I felt so pissy. I was not PMSing. I was quite happy with my life, job, situation, etc. So what the hell was wrong with me? Turns out - there I was training for an upcoming half marathon - and I hated running. I was pissy every second or third day because every second or third day I had to run. A friend pointed it out to me. Then proceeded to tell me that maybe running wasn't my thing. EXCUSE ME?!?! I am about as stubborn as they get - and a bit rebellious. Challenge accepted! That was all I needed to get me going. I was going to run and I was going to like it! Running was going to be "my thing" even if it killed me, damnit!

But I continued to struggle. I continued to hate it. Much to my dismay.

The 13 mile bus ride up the canyon felt like it took forever! I just kept thinking, "This bus ride is only 13 miles. And it is so long. And this is how far I have to run. All the way back down this canyon." (Interesting to note that the night before the race as I was driving back to my hotel in Green River I saw a sign that read, "Green River 13 miles" and I thought at that time as well, "This is how far I have to run tomorrow". I thought I would NEVER reach Green River!)
I ran it. I actually enjoyed it until the pain set in. And I hurt terribly for the next few days.

I have now taken 2 weeks off to recover. Two weeks of no running. It should be bliss, right? I should be in heaven and happy and no more pissiness. But I'm pissy!

A few days ago I was driving to work and there were runners out on the road and I longed for that. I actually ached to be there with them. How can a girl who hates to run miss it so much?

Canyonlands Half Marathon April 2009

2009-03-27T17:19:00.000-07:00

Pain is Temporary, Pride is Forever

2009-03-22T16:43:00.000-07:00

I did it. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't pretty, but I did it. I ran the Canyonland's (Moab) Half Marathon on Saturday. I may not have finished strong, I may not have finished fast, but I finished - and I ran the whole thing. (It wasn't a pretty run, but it was a run nonetheless).

The canyon I ran through was beautiful. The weather and temperature were perfect.
I felt great through the first half of the race. Hip was bothering me a bit by about mile 3, but not too bad. Definitely tolerable. By mile 8 my knees were starting to bother me a tiny bit, but again, tolerable. By mile 9 I got cell phone reception and my phone started vibrating like crazy. It was very encouraging to get voicemails and text messages from loved ones cheering me on. At mile 10 I reached the tribal drums. I could hear them from about mile 9 through mile 11. They were amazing and inspiring. Also by mile 10 my knees and hip were REALLY hurting. By mile 11 I was choking back the tears - unsuccessfully. And by mile 12 - I just let it go. There were several people along the route, aid station workers, race route volunteers, spectators, racers who had already finished - cheering everyone on, encouraging us by telling us we were almost finished and many of which asked me if I was ok or needed help. (God bless them.) I must have looked pretty bad.

Justin and Hiro were waiting for me near the finish line to snap a photo. I put on a brave face for the photo op. (It looks like I'm walking, but I promise I'm not - not exactly).

Once I passed the finish line I had to walk and the pain of walking was excruciating. My knees felt better walking, but my hip hurt so much worse. Justin snapped a few photos and I finally had to ask him to please stop taking photos of me crying and in pain.

I had a medic with me pretty quickly after finishing and she was so sweet and so concerned. She wasn't going to leave me until she knew I was taken care of. She walked with me, told me where the doctor's tent was, and encouraged me to go. Then when we reached Justin she turned me over to him.

Justin took a few photos of me in the doctor's tent. So the good news - it's not a joint issue. The doctor is pretty sure it's a nerve issue...sciatica (just as I suspected). I didn't talk to him about my knees because at that time - I hadn't yet realized the severity of the damage done there.

Easing myself - gingerly - into the cot.

Despite the pain, I am so happy that I did it. I'm not giving up on running....I'm just going to make sure I get in to see a doctor before I continue.

As I have mentioned before in the Butterfly Girls blog - running has always been tough for me. I've never been able to run far - never ran further than a mile and a half before last summer. So to run 13.1 miles was a big deal for me. I've also always admired endurance runners. Saw their ability to endure as a sign of strength. For me to have accomplished this myself is exciting to me. It was an incredible and emotional experience.

(There were photographers along the route taking photos and I'll post those as soon as I get them so please check back!)

I feel like a High School Football Star

2009-03-22T12:50:00.000-07:00

OMG! I have the best friends in the whole world. They have made me feel like a high school football star - and that is a very good thing.

Back in my high school days I decorated many of the football players houses before homecoming with big posters, balloons, etc along with my beautiful BG's. Today, I joined their ranks. Today, I was on the receiving end of that same sort of love and support.

I woke up early this morning and went out to hit the gym for some last minute prep for my half marathon tomorrow and found a very amazing surprise.

(You made me cry you little stinkers!)
Thank you all so much for your love and support. This half marathon is a big deal for me. I realize that to many other people it may be ... half marathon, eh...no biggie. But for a girl who's never been able to run more than a mile and a half until last summer - it's a HUGE deal.

This is my favorite part - hehe ..... Go Rams!

Marcus

2009-02-17T09:50:00.000-08:00

Me, my friend Ashley, her hubby Nick, and a bunch of their friends all went to see Marcus at Wiseguys on Friday, February 13.

I am HUGE Marcus fan. Loved him and cheered for him the first time I saw him on Last Comic Standing last season. Called in as many times as I was allowed to vote for him every week! He is awesome!
We were on the front row and if you've been to Wiseguys before you know what a small venue it is and how close to the stage the front row is - my feet were resting quite comfortably ON the stage. Marcus was just feet from me! Close enough that he could hear my comments during his routine - and then comment back.

Ashley LOVES to take photos - that girl is NUTS! And because the two of us were snapping away Marcus was kind enough to stop mid-joke and pose for us for a few of them.

Well, it was awesome. He was awesome. And I got a nice photo op after the perfomance.

To those who follow my blog religiously ....

2009-01-29T11:45:00.000-08:00

Can you follow my blog religiously if I don't post religiously?

It has become clear to me that I am not a very good blogger or facebooker. I have my days, weeks .... moments. But I am in no way consistent and if you follow my blog you know this. I'd say that I lack the discipline, but I don't think that's the case. I am very disciplined in other aspects of my life - to the point that I get accused of being obsessed, addicted, a maniac, an animal, a machine - these are a few of the terms that have been used with me. Negative connotation or not - I don't mind any of those terms being attached to me with regards to my "gym" routine. In fact, I'm quite proud of my level of dedication and the pay off that I am receiving as a result. But a blogger I am not. Nor will I ever be called a blogger by anyone ...(SHOUT OUT ALERT!) ... other than my good friend Tim "Jimmy".

I admire those of you who are dedicated and commited to keeping us all up to date with your goings-on. But I must apologize for my own lack of commitment. Honestly, I just don't think I have anything exciting or entertaining to say. And my average day is just that - average. No one wants to hear about that - and if you do, please check out the Butterfly Girls blog. (Oh, that's another shout out of sorts!)

To my good friends who have amazing blogs - keep up the good work. To those of you who post infrequently - I get it and I empathize.

So....
That's it. I really just wanted to post and didn't have a darn thing to say- so I made this whole thing up.

New Years Resolutions

2009-01-28T13:24:00.000-08:00

I hate New Years Resolutions .... yet every year I make them. And every year I break them. They say rules were made to be broken ... can the same be said about resolutions?
Well, as for last years resolutions, I think that my biggest problem was that I made too many of them. I am happy to report that I completed a few of them. I think I made like 15 (there were so many I can't possibly remember them all!) I think I sent out a birthday card to nearly every sibling and in-law and neice and nephew. Although many were late and many were store bought - so I failed there. I didn't read as much as I wanted - I blame Les Miserables. I did however, retain my gym membership, actually use it, develop a new hobby, and lose that 20 lbs I wanted to lose by the time I went to Canada. I am also happy to report that I have not only kept it off, but lost even more!
So this year .... my New Years Resolutions (Yes! I'm making dreaded resolutions.)

--Run at least 3 Half Marathons or Marathons
--Summit Timpanogos or Olympus at least 3 times (I have a love affair with Timp and will probably do my best to summit there all 3 times)
--GO BACK TO COLLEGE!

WISH ME LUCK!

Weightloss Challenge

2009-01-26T15:10:00.000-08:00

Ok....so it's not like I really have any weight to lose, but I joined a weightloss challenge. Now, before you go ballistic on me, let me explain. 1. It's a family deal so it was hard to turn down. 2. I'm going to kill it so again it was hard to turn down. and 3. It's not just about weightloss - it's also about getting healthy and making better choices. (Much like my Butterfly Girls Challenge
For official rules and to track my progress please check out my links at the side of this blog - under the Follow My Progress link.

Here is my "before" photo for the Sander's Losers blog. I began at 124.2 lbs.

New Years Eve with My Butterfly Girls

2009-01-21T09:26:00.000-08:00

I was able to get together with my Butterfly Girls for New Years Eve and we had a blast. The girls spent most of the evening in the kitchen chatting and our poor husbands and kids got stuck downstairs playing the Wii all night. I'm sure they had a miserable time. :-( Sure sounded like it from all the laughter we could hear.

Me and the ladies!

My Janis

The Johnson Fam

The Sanders Fam

We exchanged Christmas gifts and I gotta give a huge shout out to Janis who bought me the most awesome gift ever! Bob Nelson's HBO comedy hour special "Nelson Schmelson". The girls used to watch that show almost religiously in high school and I am such a HUGE fan! So perfect, Janis - you totally rule!

White Christmas

2009-01-08T10:48:00.001-08:00

This is the beautiful scene we woke up to Christmas morning. There is nothing better than a white Christmas.

Poor Hiro has to try and walk through that! It's past his shoulders!

Possible surprise for unsuspecting visitors! That is just above the steps to our front door. Eek!

Certifiably Insane

2009-01-08T10:28:00.000-08:00

I don't know what got in to me. (I blame my good friend Liz and my "uncle" John.) Liz ran a marathon a few years ago and wouldn't stop talking about how great it was and how EVERYONE should do it at some point. So every year I say I'm going to start training and every year I end up putting it off. Or I get to that 1.5 mile wall and just don't get past it. Well, John was telling me at Thanksgiving about the Canyonlands Half Marathon in Moab in March and how he was registering to race and encouraged me to join him. I thought to myself, "This is what you need - a deadline! You need a race date to get you over that wall!" I registered. And darn it all! I was selected. Am I insane, or what? When I saw that email that said "Canyonlands Half Marathon Lottery Acceptance" I literally wanted to bang my head against the wall.
Well ... it's done. It's paid for - I might as well do it. Heaven help me!

Madison Anne's Blessing

2008-12-26T19:37:00.000-08:00

Justin and I were very fortunate to go to California for Madison's blessing the first week of December. This was our first opportunity to meet her and hold her - I fell in love with her immediately. She is adorable and beautiful and precious and sweet and I didn't want to leave her. And Brayden is such a big boy, now! That kid can rock, too! What a little headbanger - he's such a stud! It was also great to see the Schambecks again. We've been able to spend a few holidays and special occasions with them now and they are such great people and so welcoming to us outsiders. It was not easy to go home after only a few short days with them. I miss them.

My Big Bro

Mikey's Family

Proud Papa

The Schambeck Clan

Such a Doll

CONSOLED BY COLDPLAY

2008-11-24T20:54:00.001-08:00

Saturday was a day of highs and lows. After the BYU loss we needed something to lift our spirits and the Coldplay concert was just the thing to do it. Coldplay is awesome .... the concert was awesome. I had a great time. It was so worth it! I am so glad we were able to go. I've been a huge fan of Coldplay since I first heard them. And I've seen them perform several times so I knew they could put on a great show. WOW! I love concerts! I think they're so overpriced, but the energy level of the crowd - the excitement of a live performance. Those things are so hard to put a price tag on.
For those of you with your sound turned on. For your listening enjoyment .....

The Season is Over

2008-11-24T20:27:00.000-08:00

Well, the 2008 college football season is over for BYU. It was a bittersweet year. We still finished in the top 25 and that is definitely worth something. We killed UCLA and that was very exciting! But we had two crucial losses. It's one thing to play hard, execute well, and lose to a better team. It's another thing to beat yourself. (Hold on, Ute fans! I'm not saying that Utah or TCU are not great teams, because they were. I'm just saying that I'd like to see how it would have turned out if we'd brought our A game.)
I learned this year what it is to be an emotional fan. I have gotten into football like never before. Felt the passion and excitement for the game like never before. And for the fist time felt truly disappointed and defeated from the losses.
I still haven't decided if being a passionate fan is a positive thing or not. But I guess I have like 10 months to contemplate, right?

No Annoying Fans, One Great Hit, and Great Officiating

2008-10-28T07:59:00.001-07:00

Well, Saturday was another BYU football game. We stayed in our own seats this time for most of the game, but did sneak down two rows eventually to the slightly roomier seats with Justin's parents. The "unbelievable" annoying fan was not there this game - thank goodness! The game was enjoyable. It's always a bit more exciting when it's a close game (although nothing will ever hold a candle to the orgasmic UCLA game - yeah, that's right! I said orgasmic!) But it is still frustrating when it shouldn't be a close game; when we should have no problem at all taking that team out. Justin and I had great seats for that amazing hit by two BYU players on one UNLV player. Anyone who saw the game knows EXACTLY what hit I'm talking about. We could hear the crunch of the pads from our seats and it was sickening!
I also have to say that the officiating was the best that we've seen all year. Especially the referee - he was AWESOME! (It was great to see you, Land!)

My Wall

2008-10-17T18:34:00.000-07:00

My apologies to those of you who follow both of my blogs because I will on occasion post the same thing on both blogs.

I have this wall - Maybe we all have our walls. I've hit my wall twice in my life. The first time was when I was 27 and I stepped on the scale one morning and saw ZZZ lbs. For my height and body type - ZZZ lbs is 5 lbs from clinically overweight. I made the decision right then and there to make some changes in my life. And for the first time EVER I seriously dieted and I lost 25 lbs. I worked out a little, but not really hard, my main focus was on my diet. The weight came off in about 6 months and once it was off - I went back to my same lifestyle. I was very fortunate in that I didn't put it all back on, at least not immediately. The second time I hit my wall was this past March. I had gone from a size X to a size Y and I needed to move up to size Z. I stepped on the scale one morning and I saw ZZZ lbs AGAIN! ZZZ lbs is evidently my wall. My do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to unhappy. I had two choices - go out a buy a new wardrobe or lose weight. I had two choices - given in and accept that this was me or get to work. I didn't want to spend money on a new wardrobe of even bigger clothes. But I also wasn't ready to just give in and be completely unhappy with myself, my health, and my body. The difference between this wall and the last one? I didn't want to simply lose weight – I wanted to get healthy, I wanted to get active. I’ve never been athletic and I asked myself why not? Because I never wanted to work for it. (My cross country experience being a perfect example of this.) Now I want to work for it. Now I’m willing to work for it. I didn’t want to just lose weight – I wanted to make a major transformation.
Not only am I down more than 15 lbs and 2 sizes, but just as important - I'm in the best shape of my life. And I'm not even finished yet.

Shout Out - Hubby Tag

2008-10-16T19:06:00.000-07:00

Thanks Lyndee for tagging me. I can always count on you! I do like this one because I get to talk about my favorite person – my cute hubby. I always tell Justin to check out my blog because I gave him a “shout out”. Well, baby, this is a serious shout out!

Where did you meet?
At work. We both worked for Convergys and we were in the same training class.

How long did you date before you were married?
We met on December 11, 2000. Our first date was Valentine’s Day 2001. And we were engaged exactly one year after our first date. We were married in September 2002. So about a year and 7 months.

How long have you been married?
Right now? 6 years, 3 weeks, 4 days

What is your favorite feature of his?
The first thing I noticed about him was his broad shoulders and his height. I am very attracted to guys who are built like football players. I love his big broad shoulders, his height, his great mouth, his blue eyes, and his contagious laugh.

What is your favorite quality of his?
He might be surprised to hear this, but his sense of humor. He is hilarious! He’s also amazing with kids. I love to watch him interact with our nieces and nephews – they absolutely adore him.

Does he have a nickname for you?
Oh, sure – lots. Babe and Baby are the most often used.

What is his favorite color?
Green

What is his favorite food?
:-) Just about anything. He is not a picky eater like me. Some of our favorite restaurants are Baja Cantina, Asian Star, Olive Garden, Iggy's.

What is his favorite sport?
Justin loves all sports. He just loves competition of about any kind. Some of his favorites are football, softball, and golf.

When and where was your first kiss?
It was January 25, 2001 on our lunch break at work in one of our cars - I can’t remember which and I think it was in the back seat ;-) What? It's much easier to cuddle and make-out back there.

What is your favorite thing to do as a couple?
PG answer? BYU football games, watch TV and movies, travel.

Do you have any children?
Just Hiro. But he's awesome

Does he have a hidden talent?
His amazing ability to make anyone feel at ease with him. He is just great with people. But more important – he is great with me. He has the ability to make me feel confident, beautiful, and secure like no one else ever has.

How old is he?
32 years

Who said “I love you first”
I did, but I didn’t mean to. I was certainly thinking it, but I wanted the moment to be just perfect when I first professed my love for him. And at the theatre in the middle of Miss Congeniality was not the perfect moment. I blurted it out and then immediately covered my mouth in surprise.

What is his favorite type of music?
Justin has an amazing voice! He is very musically talented. (I just wanted to throw that in.) His taste in music is very diverse because of his appreciation for music. He likes just about everything except Country and Jazz. Probably more pop, rock, r&b, and alternative than anything else.

What do you admire most about him?
His confidence. He doesn’t seem to be intimidated or afraid of anything.

"Unbelievable!"

2008-10-16T08:07:00.001-07:00

Justin and I sat with his parents for the New Mexico game on Saturday. We're only 3 rows behind them so it isn't like their seats are much better, but they are right on the front row and that makes it easier to get in and out if you need to run to the concession stands or the restroom. They also have that lovely railing you can put your feet on to kick back and relax while enjoying the game. And the people who sit next to them aren’t usually using all their seats so we can spread out a bit. Those little luxuries, we discovered, are not worth it! We had the most obnoxious fan behind us. He was part fan, part commentator, part coach, part pessimist. This guy NEVER shut up! Every single play that was run he’d comment on. How many yards they’d picked up, who carried the ball, what down it now was, how many yards we still had to go – you get the picture. He’d also throw out little statistics about the players. Commentator.
Every play we ran was wrong. On offense if we ran, he thought we should have passed, if we passed, he thought we should have ran. On defense someone always missed a block or wasn’t covering their man like they should have. “Unbelievable!” He wouldn’t stop saying that. “Who’s covering the quarterback? Unbelievable!” Coach.
We held Wyoming to 3 points and we managed to score 21, but the way this guy was talking you would have thought that BYU was the dumbest and worst team in college football, that our offense couldn’t score, and that our defense was worthless. They just couldn’t seem to do anything right. Pessimist.
But I couldn’t help wondering – is he even really a fan?
Next home game – if this guy is there – I’ll stay in my own seats even if the “better” seats are available. Unbelievable!

Change in Vocabulary

2008-10-13T13:55:00.000-07:00

Ok, I want to clarify on my previous post. No, it's not just about the weight. It IS about being healthy. It's also about being happy with myself. Do I think I need to lose weight? No. Seven months ago when I was near "clinically overweight"? Maybe. And I lost it. Nowadays I may say that I need to lose weight and it isn't about the actual weight it's about being tone. I could never lose another pound and be perfectly happy as long as I continue to get tighter and firmer. But also, even if THAT NEVER happened. I could accept that and be happy as long as I knew I was strong, healthy, and in the best physical condition I was capable of.
I know that when people hear, "I want to lose weight" they equate that to "I'm fat". Because of this I need to make a change. I need to make a change in my vocabulary. I need to stop using phrases like "lose weight" or the word "fat" (not that I use it often). And I need to start using words like healthy, fitness, tone, active, endurance, and strength.
To those of you who have offered and continue to offer me support - thank you!

Why Can't I Be Incredible?

2008-10-13T08:36:00.000-07:00

How much would I have to weigh or how big would I have to get before I can say I'm trying to lose weight and people would be supportive and say "good for you" instead of "you don't need to lose weight"? Am I expected to get to clinically overweight, socially overweight, obese, or morbidly obese? I do know from personal experience that if you're simply approaching clinically overweight you can't expect any support from others. But why is that?
I'm all for loving yourself no matter what size, shape, or weight you are. But why should I have to settle? What if I'm not happy with sitting on the fence of overweigtness? (if I may be so bold as to make up a word here.) Why should I be fine with a weight that is still within "healthy" (albeit JUST barely) when my lifestyle isn't healthy and my diet isn't healthy - I've just been fortunate thus far with my metabolism and my genetics? I don't think I should wait until my metabolism is no longer in my favor to make a decision to change and actually get a little support.
Justin has always been amazing anytime I've decided to "lose weight" by telling me that he thinks I'm beautiful, but that he understands that it's about what I think - that it's important for me to be happy with my body. (BTW - Thanks, Baby, you are wonderful and I love you very much!)
My doctor told me I have an 80% chance of developing diabetes in my lifetime. Do I sit around and wait to see if I’m just lucky enough for that 20%? Do I wait until I’m pre-diabetic or diabetic to start taking control of my health? At what point is it acceptable for me to decide that I’m going to do everything I possibly can to avoid that 80%?
When I've told people I’m trying to lose weight, or I’m trying to make better food choices, or I’m going to the gym everyday they often say, “You don’t need to do that.” “You don’t need to lose weight.” “You can eat this.” “You’re ok.” “You look fine.” What is their purpose to saying those things? Are they just trying to be polite? Do they say that because they think I want to hear that? They certainly aren’t doing me any favors and they come off as very discouraging. Why don't they want me to be the best that I can possibly be? Why should I settle for ok? Why should I settle for fine? Why shouldn't I be amazing? Why can't I be incredible?

6 Random Things

2008-10-10T13:41:00.000-07:00

I laugh when I’m uncomfortable. This leads to much embarrassment and many awkward moments in my life, but it’s true – I laugh when I’m uncomfortable no matter how inappropriate it might be at the time. This has also gotten me into trouble as many people have misunderstood and thought that I was making light of a situation that I didn’t mean to. Or that I was enjoying something when I really wasn’t.

I hate tomatoes, onions, and peppers – and yet, I love SALSA. Go figure! I am pretty picky about my salsa, but still – it makes no sense at all.

I took down a bison in the Henry Mountains with one shot right through the heart. It was the kind of hunt that should have been televised it was so perfect. But you really need my older brother DarRell to tell you the story because I don’t remember much. Besides, he tells it so much better than me - much more animated!

My favorite pet name is “Love”. This is a pet name that is rarely used outside of the UK, but every time I am fortunate enough to run into a Brit and he calls me “love” I just melt.

I joined the cross country team in high school just to get out of town once a week. Honestly, I joined everything I could in high school just to get out of town, get out of classes, meet guys from other schools, or meet back up with my guy friends from other schools. Drama, Speech and Debate, Show Choir, Cheerleading, Dancing, took stats for Baseball and for Football. But this is one that I joined and then didn’t really participate in. I never practiced with the team – I couldn’t even run 1 mile, let alone 3+. And I only ran in one event because the coach threatened to kick me off the team. I came in 2nd to last – was horribly embarrassed and quit the team the next day anyway. Please imagine that I am laughing uncomfortably right now – because I am.

I’m darn cute. Seriously! Have you seen me lately? I am so darn cute. ;-)
And you don’t have to take my word for it – I have references.